 Welcome. Good morning honored guests to this public trial. Please stand for the jury. Please be seated. Call in the case of the people of the state of MBTI Gorilland versus INFP. Are both sides ready? Ready for the defense, your honor. Ready for the people, your honor. So distinguished guests, the lawyers will now make opening statements. The purpose of an opening statement is to give the lawyers an opportunity to tell you what they expect the evidence will show so that you will better understand the evidence as it is introduced during this trial. I must caution you however that the opening statements are not evidence. Miss INFJ. Thank you your honor. Have a good day. Good afternoon everyone of the jury. I really appreciate that you showed up today. Your honor and distinguished jury. The defendant has been charged with a crime of eating the ice cream in the fridge belonging to someone else without the permission of the owner. Turns out the ice cream had a paper in it and INFP didn't mind it. The evidence will show that at Tres Leches ice cream was stolen on the night of March 6th. The defendant's fingerprints were on the fridge. The evidence I present will prove to you that the defendant is guilty as charged. Your honor and distinguished jury. Under the law my client is presumed innocent until proven guilty. During this trial you will hear no real evidence against my client. You will come to know the truth. Did INFP was just opening the fridge but not taking anything with her. Therefore my client is not guilty. The prosecution may call its first witness. I don't have to explain anything I'm the judge. The people called the owner of the ice cream. So ESCP how are you doing? I'm doing it so good. Oh I'm sorry about that. How is your family? Are they here today? Nope. Hmm I'm sorry. ESCP do you eat ice cream on a regular basis? Yes I do. So you would call yourself an ice cream lover? Objection. Yeah yes. That question is suggestive. It is. Reformulate the question. Do you love ice cream? Objection. Loving something is not really a fact and what are we sharing love with? Especially love towards something and not someone. True. Please reformulate your question to something that gives us data. ESCP does the combination of sugar, fats, frozen water, and air promote the release of both dopamine and serotonin after smelling or seeing it. Yeah. So it is possible to say that you know many brands of ice cream and that you're also very clear of what your favorite ones are. Yes I'm very clear. ESCP where were you on the night of March 6th? I was spotting really hard. No I was not. Sorry what? Hmm sorry what was it? I was checking an app. Okay what was that app? Hmm sorry come again. You're my type. I know I know I am the type of person who makes friends easily in real life but hey I'm an ice cream nerd. It's so so hard for us to find people who share the same interests with. Besides turns out I found a lot of people like me there. So what is that app about? Well you're my type is social discovery and dating up where you can find great friends from all over the world especially with similar interests than you. Like ice cream. You're my type uses personality types to make connecting with people online weren't meaningful. You can initiate a quiz based on memes after matching with someone which happens by taking a compatibility test. The app is a hundred percent free and is available worldwide on iOS and Android. Check the app at the link below or in the app stores and get a good friend or more. You're my type. Download it now. What was that voice? What voice? Wait no I shouldn't be concerned about the voice but about you getting a bit of a script here. Nice app though. My check lighter. Inajari proceed. What's the ice cream you had in the fridge at Tres Leches brand San Francisco? Yes. And when did you realize your ice cream was gone? The next morning I wanted to have ice cream for breakfast and it was gone. How do you make sure people know which ones are your ice creams in the fridge? I put a paper in the ice cream with my name. Did anyone see INFP taking your ice cream with that paper you mentioned? Yes my neighbor saw exactly that. Have you given anyone including the defendant permission to take or eat that ice cream with the paper? Absolutely not. Thank you I have no further questions. Does the defense have any questions? I do your honor. Sure. Hello dear witness. I just have one question. Maybe more. It depends. Okay. Do you struggle with controlling your ice cream cravings? No. Do you eat ice cream every day? Yes. Are you addicted to ice cream? No. Objection. Objection is messed. It was extemporaneous. It would be ideal if witnesses wait for two seconds before answering the questions so we can accept objections. Thank you. You can proceed. I don't have any more questions your honor. The witness is excused. The prosecution may call the next witness. The people call an expert. A chef. Yes of Jay. Can you tell us what a three litches ice cream consists of? Briefly please. First you need to combine condensed milk with evaporative milk and vanilla. You beat cream until soft peaks form. You add that to the previous mixture. Freeze until it has a nice cream texture and then you can put it in the refrigerator 30 minutes before serving. But I always recommend sprinkling on top with pancake pieces or crackers. It's an explosion of flavor. Thank you. I have no further questions. Does the defense have any questions? Not at this time your honor. The witness is excused. Does the prosecution have any other witnesses? Yes your honor. The people call the neighbor. Another one? Another one. Good. ESJ. Where were you on the night of March 6th? I went outside to buy some groceries for dinner. Did you pass by the house where INFP and ESTP live? Yes I did. Could you see something that was happening? I'm not nosy but I saw INFP open in the fridge with a very suspicious attitude. So I got worried and I kept looking and she took an ice cream out of the fridge and he was a three litches brand San Francisco and he had a paper on and she ate it with a very evil face. Thank you. I don't have any more questions honestly. Does the defense have any questions? Yes your honor. ESJ. Don't you have anything better to do? Yes I do. I was just trying to help. Thank you for your work. No more questions your honor. The witness is excused. Your honor. The people rest their case. Is the defense ready with its case? Yes your honor. I call the defendant. INFP. Where were you on the night of March 6th? I was at home. Did you see at 3 litches brand San Francisco in the fridge that night? I think I opened the fridge twice maybe three or more times at night. I'm not sure what I saw. I was just trying to find something to eat but I never did. So you didn't take anything? No. Oh wait maybe I did take something. It had a paper on it but I put it back. Was there any particular reason you took that something? No I was just curious. So you put it back and closed the fridge and left? Yeah yeah exactly. Did you see anyone outside your house while you were doing that? No but there's a curtain so I don't see directly outside unless I grab the curtain and move it. Thank you I have no further questions. Does the defense have any questions? Me? You guys. The prosecution. Yes your honor. INFP did you take the ice cream with you? Objection. That question is suggestive and redundant since INFP never said that the thing she saw with a paper on was the ice cream and she already said that she didn't take it with her. That's technically correct. The best kind of correct. Reformulator changed the question. Do you often open the fridge without taking anything with you? Objection. What? I have nothing sorry go on. Doing that is illegal. Is it? I'm not so... Wait I am the judge of course you can't do that. Okay sorry. I was saying do you often open the fridge without taking anything? Yeah. Is that because you're thinking about taking someone else's ice cream? Not at all. I just think food will appear magically or something. That's not very convincing but I'll take it. I have no further questions. The witness is excused. Does the defense rest? Yes your honor. Are you ready with final arguments? Yes your honor. Yes your honor. Your honor and distinguished jury. Even though I won't mention this trial was absolutely biased and totally against my client and my arguments I won't say this as I'm saying. There is no question that after listening to INFP her story has a lot of incoherence. Not to mention that my client ESDP still doesn't have the ice cream. The ice cream disappeared. The crime was committed and INFP was the only person aware of that ice cream and with the chance of getting it. Based on that evidence you must find the defendant guilty. Your honor distinguished jury. INFP was unlucky to be around the kitchen when ESJ neighbor was absolutely by accident seeing through a curtain with some kind of superpower or something. She was unlucky to be there. We know by her word that she didn't take anything with her. The prosecution has presented no real evidence to show you that this is not true. That means that there is a reasonable doubt and therefore you must find INFP not guilty. Will the four person please stand? Has the jury reached a unanimous verdict? Wait did you actually find people who are addicted to ice cream like you? I'm not addicted to ice cream I just enjoy it. I don't know all that serotonin thing was a weird. Wait a minute this is not about what I do with my life. This is about whether your client is guilty or not. I'm not. And the worst part it is that it doesn't even matter if you ate it. I'm happy you did. You know what it's okay. We are in a trial. I made a big deal out of this but I don't really care. It's an ice cream. Oh you're great. I'm sure you'll find friends with that app. Someone told me to come. I don't know why I came. I just wanted to wear this hat. I know why I became a lawyer. It's not okay. What? Wait objection. You don't get to say objection. Silence. Are you waiting for something? You said silence. Where are you going to say something? No I just wanted silence. Oh yeah right. Before knowing the verdict of the jury do you have anything else to say INFP? If I'm guilty I just want to make sure that my pets will be okay. I really need someone to take care of them and not just anyone. They're not just pets you know they're family. They're my friends. They're always there for me and whenever I saw myself in dark times they were my light. I'll make sure they're safe. Wait you're my lawyer. What am I complaining? I already said it wasn't a big deal. It kind of like makes no sense. Yeah don't worry you don't have to be perfect just keep going. Okay I am a lawyer because I want to help people. Will the jury for a person please? I scream thief enjoy prison food. No I want because I'm vegan and I'm sure they don't have options. Wait you're vegan? Yeah. Are you by any means flexible about it? Like would you ever make an exception? Of course not. I do not go against my values or morals. Absolutely not. Interesting. Could easy Jane ever come to the witness stand? I just need to clarify something thank you. Sorry if I'm being unconventional here but your story never made sense to me. INFP says she's vegan. How could you see her eating ice cream? She must be lying. And how could you see with a curtains? They were open that night. And why do you judge someone's attitude while they're in their own house? You called her suspicious. Wait this story makes no sense. What do you do after that? I called and told ESTP what happened. And then? And then I waited to see what else happened but nothing happened. For how long did you wait? Two hours. What did you do before that? I was working. I'm a busy person so I came home and went outside immediately after that. Huh so you had dinner pretty late that night even though you were working so you were hungry I assume you were hungry. Did you eat something while you were waiting or before that or anything? No. I guess an ice cream would have been pretty tempting. That went pretty well. I didn't know you were vegan. Oh I'm not. I understand the evidence but in por favor. Por favor. Oh yeah. Oh my god. I'm patient. I'm very patient. I'm not stressed. I just saw my cat flying. You know Mochi was really chaotic. Now I have two chaotic cats so it's not just two. It's more than two if you know what I mean. If you know how math works cats work. I want to be appreciated in a span quality time so instead of staring at me like this look for your perfect match. I'm here in my time. Prove of the camera. Prove of the camera. One, two, three. Thank you so much for watching this video. It took me so long to record it because I'm a procrastinator. Oh my god. Don't you know I'm a savage? Do you understand the amount of clothes I possess? Yeah I just want to take this hat off. It really inches here. Thank you. See you tomorrow. That's that's my entire participation in this court in this trial. That's it.