 Chapter 1 of Dr. Haydnhoff's process, this is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Mike Gulchinsky, Lowell, Michigan, United States of America. Dr. Haydnhoff's process by Edward Bellamy. Chapter 1. The hand of the clock fastened up on the white wall of the conference room, just over the framed card bearing the words, stand up for Jesus, and between two other similar cards, respectively bearing the sentences, come unto me, and, the wonderful, the counselor, pointed to ten minutes of nine. As was usual at this period of Newville prayer meetings, a prolonged pause had supervened. The regular standbys had all taken their usual part, and for anyone to speak or pray would have been about as irregular, as for one of the regulars to fail in doing so. For the attendance at Newville prayer meetings were strictly divided into the two classes of speakers and listeners, and, except during revivals or times of special interest, the distinction was scrupulously observed. Deacon Tuttle had spoken and prayed. Deacon Miller had prayed and spoken. Brother Hunt had amplified a point in last Sunday's sermon. Brother Taylor had called the attention to a recent death in the village as a warning to sinners, and Sister Morris had prayed twice. The second time it must be admitted with a certain perceptible petulance of tone, as if willing to have it understood that she was doing more than ought to be expected of her. But while it was extremely improbable that any others of the twenty or thirty persons assembled would feel called on to break the silence, though it stretched to the crack of doom, yet, on the other hand, to close the meeting before the mill bell had struck nine would have been regarded as a dangerous innovation. Accordingly, it only remained to wait in decorous silence during the remaining ten minutes. The clock ticked on with that judicial intonation characteristic of timepieces that measure sacred time and wasted opportunities. At intervals, the pastor, with an innocent affectation of having just observed the silence, would remark, there is yet opportunity. Time is passing, brethren. Any brother or sister? We shall be glad to hear from anyone. Farmer Bragg, tired with his days hoeing, snored quietly in the corner of a seat. Mrs. Parker dropped a hymn-book. Little Tommy Blake, who had fallen over while napping and hid his nose, sniffled under his breath. Madeline Brand, as she sat at the melodian below the minister's desk, stapled a small yawn with her pretty fingers. A dune-bug, boomed through the open window encircled around Deacon Tuttle's head, affecting that good man with the solicitude characteristic of bald-headed persons when buzzing things are about. Next it made a dive at Madeline, attracted perhaps by her shining eyes and the little gesture of panic with which she evaded it was the prettiest thing in the world. At least, so it seemed to Henry Burr, a broad-shouldered young fellow on the back seat whose strong, serious face is just now lit up by a pleasant smile. Mr. Lewis, the minister, being seated directly under the clock, cannot see it without turning around, wherein the audience has an advantage of him which it makes full use of. Indeed, so closely is the general attention concentrated upon the timepiece that a stranger might draw the mistaken inference that this was the object for whose worship the little company had gathered. Finally, making a slight concession of etiquette to curiosity, Mr. Lewis turns and looks up at the clock and, again, facing the people, observes with the air of communicating a piece of intelligence, there are yet a few moments. In fact, and not to put too fine a point on it, there are five minutes left, and the young men on the back seats who attend prayer meetings to go home with the girls are experiencing increasing qualms of alternate hope and fear as the moment draws near when they shall put their fortune to the test and win or lose it all, as they furtively glance over at the girls how formidable they look, how superior to common affections, how serenely and icely indifferent, as if the existence of youth of the other sex in their vicinity at that moment was the thought furthest from their minds, how presumptuous, how audacious to those youth themselves now appears the design a little while ago so jauntly entertained of accompanying these dainty beings home, how weak and inadequate the phrases of request which they had framed wherewith to accost them. Madeline Brand is looking particularly grave, as becomes a young lady who knows that she has three would-be escorts waiting for her just outside the church door, not to count one or two within, between whose conflicting claims she has only five minutes more to make up her mind. The minister had taken up his hymn book and was turning over the leaves to select the closing hymn. When someone rose in the back part of the room, every head turned as if pulled by one wire to see who it was and Deacon Tuttle put on his spectacles to inspect more closely this dilatory person who was moved to exhortation at so unnecessary a time. It was George Bailey, a young man of good education, excellent training, and once of great promise, but of most unfortunate recent experience. About a year previous, he had embezzled a small amount of the funds of a corporation in Newville, of which he was paymaster, for the purpose of raising money for a pressing emergency. Various circumstances showed that his repentance had been poignant even before his theft was discovered. He had reimbursed the corporation and there was no prosecution because his dishonest act had been no part of generally vicious habits, but a single, unaccountable deflection from rectitude. The evident intensity of his remorse had excited general sympathy and when Parker, the village drugist, gave him employment as clerk, the act was generally applauded and the village folk had endeavored with one accord by a friendly and hearty manner to make him feel that they were disposed to forget the past and help him to begin life over again. He had been converted at a revival the previous winter but was counted to have backslidden of late and become indifferent to religion. He looked badly, his face was exceedingly pale and his eyes were sunken, but these symptoms of mental sickness were dominated by an expression of singular peace and profound calm. He had the look of one whom, after a wasting illness, the fever has finally left, of one who has struggled hard but whose struggle is over and his voice when he began to speak was very soft and clear. If it will not be too great an inconvenience, he said, I should like to keep you a few minutes and talk about myself a little. Do you remember, perhaps, that I professed to be converted last winter? Since then, I am aware that I have shown a lack of interest in religious matters which has certainly justified you in supposing that I was either hasty or insincere in my profession. I have made my arrangements to leave you soon and should be sorry to have that impression remain on the minds of my friends, hasty I may have been, but not insincere. Perhaps you will excuse me if I refer to an unpleasant subject but I can make it even clearer by reviewing a little of my unfortunate history. The suavity with which he apologized for alluding to his own ruin as if he had passed beyond the point of any personal feeling in the matter had something uncanny and creeping in his effect on the listeners as if they heard a dead soul speaking through living lips. After my disgrace pursued the young man in the same quietly explanatory tone the way I felt about myself was very much, I presume, as a mechanic feels who by an unlucky stroke has hopelessly spoiled the looks of a piece of work which he nevertheless has got to go on and complete as best he can. Now you know that in order to find any pleasure in his work the workman must be able to take a certain amount of pride in it. Nothing is more disheartening for him than to have to keep on with a job with which he must be disgusted every time he returns to it. Every time his eye glances it over do I make my meaning clear? I felt like that beaten crew in last week's regatta which when it saw itself hopelessly distanced at the very outset had no pluck to row out the race but just pull the shore and went home. Why I remember when I was a little boy in school and one day made a big blot on the very first page of my new copy book that I didn't have the heart to go on any further and I recollect well how I teased my father to buy me a new book and cried and sulked until he finally took his knife at the blotted page. Then I was comforted and took heart and I believe I finished that copy book so well that the teacher gave me the prize. Now you see, don't you? He continued the ghost of a smile glimmering about his eyes how it was after my disgrace I couldn't seem to take an interest any more in anything then came the revival and that gave me a notion that religion might help me. I had heard from a child that the blood of Christ had a power to wash away sins and to leave one white and spotless with the sense of being new and clean every quit. That was what I wanted. Just what I wanted. I'm sure that you never had a more sincere, more dead in earnest convert than I was. He paused a moment as if in mental contemplation and then the words dropped slowly from his lips as a dim self-pitying smile rested on his haggard face. I really think you would be sorry for me if you knew how very bitter was my disappointment when I found that these bright promises were only figurative expressions which I had taken literally. Doubtless I should not have fallen into such a ridiculous mistake if my great need had not made my wishes fathers to my thoughts. Nobody was at all to blame but myself. Nobody at all. I'm blaming no one. Forgiving sins I should have known is not blotting them out. The blood of Christ only turns them red instead of black. It leaves them in the record. It leaves them in the memory. That day when I blotted my copybook at school, to have had the teacher forgive me ever so kindly would not have made me feel the least bit better so long as the blot was there. It wasn't any penalty from without but the hurt to my own pride which the spot made that I wanted taken away so I might get heart to go on. Supposing one of you and you'll excuse me for asking you to put yourself a moment in my place had picked a pocket, would it make a great deal of difference in your state of mind that the person whose pocket you had picked kindly forgave you and declined to prosecute? Your offence against him was trifling and easily repaired. Your chief offence was against yourself and that was irreparable. No other person with his forgiveness can mediate between you and yourself until you have been in such a fix. You can't imagine perhaps how curiously impertinent it sounds to hear talk about somebody else forgiving you for ruining yourself. It is like mocking. The nine o'clock bell peeled out from the mill tower. I'm trespassing on your kindness but I have only a few more words to say. The ancients had a beautiful fable about the water of leafy in which the soul that was bathed straight away forgot all that was sad and evil in its previous life, the most stained, disgraced and mournful of souls coming forth fresh, blive and bright as a baby's. I suppose my absurd misunderstanding arose from a vague notion that the blood of Christ had in it something like this virtue of leafy water. Just think how blessed a thing for men it would be if such were indeed the case. If their memories could be cleansed and disinfected at the same time their hearts were purified. Then the most disgraced and ashamed might live good and happy lives again. Men would be redeemed from their sins in fact, not merely a name. The figurative promises of the gospel would become literally true. But this is idle dreaming. I will not keep you. And checking himself abruptly, he sat down. The moment he did so, Mr. Lewis rose and pronounced the benediction dismissing the meeting without the usual closing him. He was afraid that something might be said by Deacon Tuttle or Deacon Miller, who were good men, but not very subtle in their spiritual insight, which would still further alienate the unfortunate young man. His own intention of finding opportunity for a little private talk with him after the meeting was, however, disappointed by the promptness with which Bailey left the room. He did not seem to notice the sympathetic faces and outstretched hands around him. There was a set smile on his face and his eyes seemed to look through people without seeing them. There was a buzz of conversation as the people began to talk together of the decided novelty in the line of conference meeting exhortations to which they had just listened. The tone of almost all was sympathetic, though many were shocked and pained, and others declared that they did not understand what he had meant. Many insisted that he must be a little out of his head calling attention to the fact that he looked so pale. None of these good hearts were half so much offended by anything heretical in the utterances of the young man as they were stirred for his evident discouragement. Mr. Lewis was perhaps the only one who had received a very distinct impression of the line of thought underlying his words, and he came walking down the aisle with his head bent in a very grave face, not joining any of the groups which were engaged in talk. Henry Burr was standing near the door, his hat in his hand, watching Madeline out of the corners of his eyes as she closed the melodian and adjusted her shawl. Good evening, Henry! said Mr. Lewis alongside the young man. Do you know whether anything unpleasant has happened to George lately to account for what he said tonight? I do not, sir, replied Henry. I had a fancy that he might have been slighted by someone, or given the cold shoulder. He is very sensitive. I don't think anyone in the village would slight him, said Henry. I should have said so too, remarked the minister reflectively. Poor boy, poor boy. He seems to feel very badly, and it is hard to know how to cheer him up. Yes, sir. That is, sir, certainly. Replyed Henry incoherently for Madeline was now coming down the aisle, in his own preoccupation not noticing the young man's Mr. Lewis passed out. As she approached the door, Madeline was talking animatedly with another young lady. Good evening, said Henry. Poor fellow, continued Madeline to her companion. He seemed quite hopeless. Good evening, repeated Henry. Looking around, she appeared to observe him for the first time. Good evening, she said. May I escort you home? He asked, becoming slightly red in the face. She looked at him for a moment as if she could scarcely believe her ears that such an audacious proposal had been made to her. Then she said with a bewitching smile, I shall be much obliged. As he drew her arm beneath his own, the contact diffused an ecstatic sensation of security through his stalwart but tremulous limbs. He had got her, and his tribulations were forgotten. For a while they walked silently along the dark streets, both too much impressed by the tragic suggestions of poor Bailey's outbreak to drop at once into trivialities. For it must be understood that Madeline's little touch of coquetry had been merely instinctive, a sort of unconscious reflex action of the feminine nervous system, quite consistent with very lugubrious engrossments. To Henry there was something strangely sweet in sharing with her for the first time a mood of solemnity, seeing that their intercourse had always before been in the vein of pleasantry and badinage common to the first stages of courtships. This new experience appeared to dignify their relation and weave them together with a new strand. At length she said, Why didn't you go after poor George and cheer him up instead of going home with me? Anybody could have done that. No doubt, replied Henry seriously, but if I'd left anybody else to do it, I should have needed cheering up as much as George does. Dear me, she exclaimed, as a little smile, not exactly a vexation, curved her lips under cover of the darkness. You take a most unwarrantable liberty in being jealous of me, I never gave you nor anybody else any right to be, and I won't have it. Very well. It shall be just as you say, he replied. The sarcastic humility of his tone made her laugh in spite of herself, and she immediately changed the subject demanding. Where is Laura tonight? She's at home, making cake for the picnic, he said. Oh, the good girl. And I ought to be making some, too. I wonder if poor George will be at the picnic? I doubt it, said Henry. You know he never goes to any sort of party. The last time I saw him at such a place was at Mr. Bradford's. He was playing whist, and they were joking about cheating. Somebody said, Mr. Bradford it was, I can trust my wife's honesty. She doesn't know enough to cheat, but I don't know about George. George was his partner. Bradford didn't mean any harm. He forgot, you see. He'd have bitten his tongue off otherwise sooner than have said it. But everybody saw the application, and there was a dead silence. George got red as fire, and then pale as death. I don't know how they finished the hand, but presently somebody made an excuse, and the game was broken off. Oh, dear, dear, that was cruel, cruel. How could Mr. Bradford do it? Never exclaimed Madeline with an accent of poignant sympathy, involuntarily pressing Henry's arm and thereby causing him to instantly forget all about George and his misfortunes and setting his heart to beating so tumultuously that he was afraid she would notice it and be offended. But she did not seem to be conscious of the intoxicating effluence she was giving forth and presently added in a tone of sweetest pity. He used to be so frank and dashing in his manner, and now when he meets one of us girls he is so embarrassed and looks away or at the ground as if he thought we should not like to bow to him or meant to cut him. I'm sure we'd cut our heads off sooner. It's enough to make one cry such times to see how wretched he is and so sensitive that no one can say a word to cheer him. Did you notice what he said about leaving town? I hadn't heard anything about it before. Had you? No, said Henry, not a word. I wonder where he's going. Perhaps he thinks it will be easier for him to say a word. They walked on in silence a few moments and then Madeline said an amusing tone. How strange it would seem if one really could have unpleasant things blotted out of their memories. What dreadful thing would you forget now if you could? Confess. I would blot out the recollection that you went boat-riding with Will Taylor last Wednesday afternoon and what I've felt about it ever since. Dear me, Mr. Henry Burr, said Madeline with an air of excessive disdain, authorized you to concern yourself with my affairs? If it wouldn't please you too much, I'd certainly box your ears. I think you're rather unreasonable. He protested in a hurt tone. You said a minute ago that you wouldn't permit me to be jealous of you and just because I'm so anxious to obey you that I want to forget that I ever was, you are vexed. A small noise, expressive of scorn and not to be represented by letters of the alphabet was all the reply she deigned to this more ingenious than ingenuous plea. I've made my confession and it's only fair you should make yours, he said next. What remorseful deed have you done that you'd like to forget? You needn't speak in that babying tone. I fancy I could commit sins as well as you with all your big mustache if I wanted to. I don't believe you'd hurt a fly, although you do look so like a pirate. You've probably got a goody little conscience, so white and soft that you die of shame to have people see it. Excuse me, Lady Macbeth, he said laughing. You don't wish to underrate your powers of depravity, but which of your soul-destroying sins would you prefer to forget if indeed any of them are shocking enough to trouble your excessively hardened conscience? Well, I must admit, said Madeline seriously, that I wouldn't care to forget anything I've done, not even my faults and follies. I should be afraid if they were taken away that I shouldn't have any character left. Well, don't put it on that ground, said Henry. It's sheer vanity that makes you say so. You know your faults are just big enough to be beauty spots, and that's why you'd rather keep them. She reflected a moment and then said decisively, that's a compliment. I don't believe I like them from you. Don't make me any more. Perhaps she did not take the trouble to analyze the sentiment that prompted her words. Had she done so, she would doubtless have found it in a consciousness and went in his presence of being surrounded with so fine and delicate an atmosphere of unspoken devotion that Henry sounded almost gross. They paused before a gate. Pushing it open and passing within, she said, good night. One word more. I have a favor to ask, he said. May I take you to the picnic? Why, I think no escort will be necessary, she replied. We go in broad daylight and there are no bears or Indians at Hemlock Hollow. But your basket, you'll need somebody to carry your basket. Oh yes, to be sure, my basket! She exclaimed with an ironical accent, it will weigh at least two pounds and I couldn't possibly carry it myself, of course, by all means come, and much obliged for your thoughtfulness. But as she turned to go in, she gave him a glance, which had just enough sweetness in it to neutralize the irony of her words. In the treatment of her lovers, Madeline always punctured the skin before applying a drop of sweetness and perhaps this accounted for the potent effect it had to inflame the blood compared with more profuse and official applications of less sharp-tongued maidens. Henry waited until the graceful figure had a moment revealed its charming outline against the lamplit interior as she half turned to close the door. Love has occasional metaphysical turns and it was an odd feeling that came over him as he walked away being nothing less than a rush of thankfulness and self-congratulation that he was not Madeline. For, if he had been she, he would have lost the ecstasy of loving her, of worshiping her. Ah, how much she lost! How much all those lose, who fated to be the incarnations of beauty, goodness, and grace, are precluded from being their own worshipers. Well, it was a consolation that she didn't know it, that she actually thought that with her little coca-trees and exactions she was enjoying the chief usufract of her beauty. God make up to the haughty, willful darling in some other way for missing the passing sweetness of the thrall that her lovers in. When Bur reached home, he found his sister Laura standing at the gate in a patch of moonlight. How pretty you look tonight, he said, pinching her round cheek. The young lady merely shrugged her shoulders and replied dryly, so she let you go home with her. How do you know that? he asked, laughing at her shrewd guess. Because you're so sweet, you goosey, of course. But in truth, any such motive accounting for Henry's favourable comment on her appearance was quite unnecessary. Laura, with her petite, plump figure, slow black eyes, quick in moving, curly head, and dark, clear cheeks, carnation tinted, would have been thought by many quite as charming a specimen of American girlhood as the stately pale brunette who swayed her brother's affections. Come for a walk, chicken. It is much too pretty a night to go indoors, he said. Yes, and furnished ears for Madeline's praises with a few more reflected compliments for pay perhaps. She replied contemptuously. Besides, she added, I must go into the house and keep father company. I only came out to cool off after baking the cake. You'd better come in, too. These moonlight nights always make him especially sad, you know? The brother and sister had been left motherless not long before, and Laura, in trying to fill her mother's place in the household, so far as she might, was always looking out that her father should have as little opportunity as possible to brood alone over his companulous condition. General had assumed an aspect so empty, vain, and colorless that he felt he would not rise from his bed for anything existence had to offer. He recalled his usual frame of mind in which these things seemed attractive, with a dull wonderment that so baseless a delusion should be so strong and so general. He wondered if it were possible that it should ever again come over him. The cold gray light of earliest morning, that light which is rather the fading of night than the coming of day, filled the room with a faint hue, more cheerless and pitch-less darkness. A distant spell of slow and heavy strokes struck three. It was the dead point in the daily revolution of the earth's life that point just before dawn when men often as die, when surely, but for the force of momentum, the course of nature would stop, and at which doubtless it will one day pause eternally when the clock is run down. The long-drawn reverberations of the bell, turning remoteness into music, full of the pathos of a sad and infinite patience, died away with an effect unspeakably dreary. His spirit, drawn forth after the vanishing vibrations, seemed to traverse waste spaces without beginning or end, and aeons of monotonous duration. A sense of utter loneliness, loneliness inevitable, crushing, eternal, the loneliness of existence, encompassed by the infinite void of unconsciousness, emboldened him as a Paul, life lay like an incubus on his bosom. He shuddered at the thought that death might overlook him and deny him its refuge. Even Madeline's face, as he conjured it up, seemed wan and pale moving to unutterable pity, powerless to cheer, and all the illusions and passions of love were dim as ballroom candles in the gray light of dawn. Gradually the moon passed, and he slept again. As early as half-past eight the following forenoon, groups of men with very serious bases were to be seen standing at the corners of the streets, conversing in hushed tones, and women with old voices were talking across the fences which divided adjoining yards, even the children, as they went to school, forgot to play, and talked and whispers together, or lingered near the groups of men to catch a word or two of their conversation, or, maybe, walked silently along with a puzzled, solemn look upon their bright faces, for a tragedy had occurred at that of night which never had been paralleled in the history of the village. That morning the sun, as it peered through the closed shutters of an upper thing it had been afraid of, George Bailey sat there in a chair, his head sunk on his breast, a small, blue hole in his temple, whence a drop or two of blood had oozed, quite dead. This, then, was what he meant when he said that he had made arrangements for leaving the village. The doctor thought that the fatal shot must have been fired about three o'clock that morning, and, when Henry heard this, he knew that it was the death as he flew by that had chilled the genial current in his veins. Bailey's family lived elsewhere, and his father, a stern, cold, haughty-looking man, was the only relative present at the funeral, when Mr. Lewis undertook to tell him, for his comfort, that there was reason to believe that George was out of his head when he took his life, Mr. Bailey interrupted him. Don't say that. He said he knew what he was doing. I should not think otherwise. I am prouder of him than I had ever expected to be again. A choir of girls with glistening eyes sang sweet, sad songs at the funeral, songs which, while they lasted, took away the ache of bereavement, like a cool sponge pressed upon a smarting spot. It seemed almost cruel that they must ever cease. And after the funeral, the young men and girls who had known George, not feeling like returning to his occupations, gathered at the house of one of them and passed the hours till dusk, talking tenderly of the departed, and recalling his generous traits and gracious ways. The funeral had taken place on the day fixed for the picnic. The latter, in consideration of the saddened temper of the young people, was put off a fortnight. Chapter 3 of Dr. Haydnhoff's process This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Zoë Lyons. Dr. Haydnhoff's process by Edgar Bellamy. Chapter 3 About half past eight in the morning of the day set for the postponed picnic, Henry knocked at Widow Brand's door. He had by his side, although two weeks had intervened. She came to the door herself. He had never seen her in anything that set off her dark eyes and olive complexion more richly than the simple picnic dress of white, trimmed with a little crimson braid around the neck and sleeves, which she wore today. It was gathered up at the bottom for wandering in the woods, just enough to show the little red boots. She looked surprised at seeing him and exclaimed, you never come to visit? The picnic is all right and Laura, too. I've come to carry your basket for you. Why, you're really very kind, said she as if she thought him slightly officious. Don't you remember you told me I might do so, he said, getting little red under her cool inspection. When did I? Two weeks ago, that evening poor George spoke in meeting. Oh, she answered, smiling. So long ago was that? What a terrible memory you have. Come in just a moment, please. I'm nearly ready. Whether she really took his word for it, or whether she had remembered her promise perfectly well all the time, and only wanted to make him ask twice for the favour, lest he should get too presumptuous. I don't pretend to know. Mrs. Brand set a chair for him with much cordiality. She was a gentle, mild mannered little lady, such a contrast and style and character to Madeline, that there was a certain amusing fitness in the latter's habit of calling her my baby. You have a very pleasant day for your picnic, Mr. Burr, said she. Yes, we are very lucky, replied Henry, his eyes following Madeline's movements as she stood before the glass, quoting on her hat, which had a red feather in it. To have her thus add last touches to her toilet in his presence was a suggestion of familiarity, of domesticity that was very intoxicating to his imagination. Is your father well? Inquired Mrs. Brand, affably. Very well, thank you. Very well indeed, he replied. There, now I'm ready, said Madeline. Here's the basket, Henry. Goodbye, mother. They were a well-matched pair, the stalwart young man and the tall, graceful girl, and it is no wonder the girl's mother stood in the door looking after them with a thoughtful smile. Hemlacala was a glen between wooded bluffs. A boat a mile up the beautiful river Newville was situated and boats had been collected at the rendezvous on the riverbank to convey the picnickers tether. On arriving Madeline and Henry found all the party assembled and in capital spirits. There was still just enough shadow on their merriment to leave the disposition to laugh slightly in excess of its indulgence then which no condition of mine more favourable to a good time can be imagined. Laura was there and to her Will Taylor had attached himself. There was a dapper little black-eyed fellow a clerk in the dry good store full of fun and good nature and a general favourite but it was certainly rather absurd that Henry should be apprehensive of him as a rival. There also was Fanny Miller who was the prettiest arm in Newville a fact discovered once when she wore Martha Washington toilet to the masquerade sociable and sent circulated from mouth to mouth among the young men and there too was Emily Hunt and thrown the youth into a pleasing panic by appearing at the young people's party the previous winter in low neck and short sleeves. It is to be remarked in extenuation that she had then but recently come from the city and was not familiar with Newville etiquette nor must I forget to mention Ida Lewis the minister's daughter a little girl with poor complexion and beautiful brown eyes who cherished a hopeless passion for Henry among the young men was Harry Tuttle the clerk of the confectionary fancy goods store a young man whose father who once sent him for a term to a neighbouring seminary as a result of which classical experience he still retained a certain jaunty student air verging on the rakish that was admired by the girls and envied by the young men and there above all was Tom Longman Tom was a big hulking fellow good natured and simple hearted in the extreme he was a victim of an intense susceptibility to girls charms joined with an intolerable shyness and self-consciousness when in their presence from this consuming embarrassment he would seek relief by working like a horse whenever there was anything to do with his hands occupied he had an excuse for not talking to the girls or being addressed by them and thus shielded from the direct rays of their society basked with inexpressible emotion in the general atmosphere of sweetness and light which they diffused he liked picnics because there was much work to do and never attended indoor parties because there was none this inordinate taste for industry in connection with social enjoyment on Tom's part was strongly encouraged by the other young men and they were the ones who always stipulated that he should be of the party when there was likely to be any call for rowing taking care of houses carrying of loads putting out of Crockett sets or other manual exertion he was generally an odd one in such companies it would be no kindness to provide him a partner and besides everybody made so many jokes about him that none of the girls quite cared to have their names coupled with his although they all had a compassionate liking for him on the present occasion this poor slave of the petticoat had been at work preparing the boats all the morning why unnicely arranged everything said Madeline kindly as she stood on the sand waiting for Henry to bring up a boat what? replied Tom laughing in a flustered way he always laughed just so and said what? when any of the girls spoke to him being too much confused by the fact of being addressed to catch what was said the first time it's very good of you to arrange the boats for us Madeline repeated uh, taint no thing taint anything at all he blurted it out with a very red face you are going up in a boat aren't you a longman? said Harry Tuttle no Tom you're going with us quite another young man he's going with us like a sensible fellow said Will Taylor who with Laura Burr was sitting on the forward port of the boat into the stern of which Henry was now assisting Madeline Tom these lazy young men are just wanting you to do their run for them said she get into our boat and I'll make Henry row you what do you say to that Henry said Tom snickering isn't for me to say anything after Madeline has spoken replied the young man she has him in good subjection remarked Ida Lewis not over sweetly alright I'll come on your boat Miss Brand if you'll take care of me said Tom with a sudden spasm of boldness followed by violent blushes at the thought that perhaps he had said something too free the boat was pushed off nobody took the oars I thought you were going to row said Madeline turning to Henry who sat beside her in the stern certainly he said making as if he would rise Tom you just sit here while I row no oh no I just as leaf row said Tom seizing the oars with a feverish haze so would I Tom I want a little exercise urged Henry the hypocritical grin as he stood up in attitude of readiness oh I like to row I'd a great deal rather honestly I separated Tom as he made the water foam with the violence of his strokes compelling Henry to resume his seat to preserve his equilibrium it's perfectly plain that you don't want to sit by me Tom that hurts my feelings said Madeline pretending to pout oh no it isn't that protested Tom I'd only rather row that is I mean you know it's such fun rowing very well then said Madeline I shan't help you anymore and here they all are tying their boats onto ours sure enough one of the other boats had fastened its chains to the long stern of theirs and the others had fastened to that the oarsmen were lying off and Tom was propelling the entire flotilla oh I can row them all just as easy as not gasped the devoted youth the perspiration rolling down his forehead but this was a little too bad and Henry soon cast off the other boats in spite of the protest of their occupants who regarded Tom's brawn and muscle as the common stock of the entire party which no one boat had a right to appropriate. On reaching Hemlock Hollow Madeline asked the poor young man for his hat and returned it to him adorned with evergreens which nearly distracted him with bashfulness and delight and drove him to seek a safety valve for his excitement in superhuman activity all the rest of the morning arranging croquet sets hanging swings, breaking ice, squeezing lemons and fetching water oh how thirsty I am sighed Madeline throwing down her croquet mallet the ice water is not yet ready but I know a spring a little way off where the water is cold as ice said Henry show it to me this instant she cried and they walked off together followed by Ida Lewis's unhappy eyes the distance to the spring was not great but the way was rough and once or twice he had to help her over fallen trees deep banks once she slipped a little and for a single supreme moment he held her whole weight in his arms before they had been talking and laughing gaily but that made a sudden silence he dared not look at her for some moments and when he did there was a slight flush chinging her usually colorless cheek his pulse was already bounding wildly and at this portrayal that she had shared his consciousness of that moment his agitation was tenfold increased it was the first time she had ever shown a sign of confusion in his presence the sensation of mastery of power over her which it gave was so utterly new that it put a sort of madness in his blood without a word they came to the spring and pretended to drink as she turned to go back he lightly caught her finger in a detaining clasp and said in a voice rendered harsh by suppressed emotion don't be in such a hurry to find a cooler spot oh it's cool enough anywhere let's go back she replied starting to return as she spoke she saw his excitement and being herself a little confused had no idea of allowing a scene to be precipitated just then she flitted on before with so light a foot that he did not overtake her until she came to a bank too steep for her to surmount without aid he sprang up and extended her his hand assuming an expression as if she were unconscious who was helping her she took it and he drew her up to his side then with a sudden audacious impulse half hoping she would not be angry half reckless if she were he clasped her closely in his arms and kissed her lips she gasped and freed herself how dare you do such a thing to me she cried the big fellow stood before her sheepish, dogged, contrite desperate, all in one I couldn't help it, he blurted out the plea was somehow absurdly simple and yet rather unanswerable angry as she was she really couldn't think of anything to say except, you'd better help it with which rather ineffective rebuke she turned away and walked toward the picnic ground Henry followed in a demoralized frame his mind was an affirmant he could not realize what had happened he scarcely believed that he had actually done it he could not conceive how he had dared it and now what penalty would she inflict what if she should not forgive him his soul was dissolved in fears but sooth to say the young lady's actual state of mind was by no means so implacable as he apprehended she had been ready to be very angry but the suddenness and depth of his contrition had disarmed her it took all the force out of her indignation that he actually seemed to have a deeper sense of the enormity of his act than she herself had and when, after they had rejoined the party, she saw that instead of taking part in the sports he kept aloof, wandering aimless and disconsolate by himself among the pines she took compassion on him and sensed someone to tell him she wanted him to come and push her on the swing people had kissed her before she was not going to leave the first person who seemed to fully realize the importance of the proceeding to suffer unduly from the susceptibility which did him so much credit as for Henry he hardly believed his ears when he heard the summons to attend her at that the kiss which her rebuke had turned cold on his lips began to glow afresh and for the first time he tasted its exceeding sweetness for her calling to him seemed to ratify and consent to it there were others standing about as he came up to her madeline sat on the swing and he was silent for he could not talk of indifferent things with what a fresh charm with what new sweet suggestions of complacence that kiss had invested every line and curve of her from hat plume to boot tip a delicious tremulous sense of proprietorship tinged his every thought of her he touched the swing rope as fondly as if it were an electric chain that could communicate the caress to her Tong Longman, having done all the work that offered itself, had been wandering about in a state of acute embarrassment not daring to join himself to any of the groups much less to cost a young lady who might be alone as he drifted near the swing Madeline said to Henry you may stop swinging me now I'd like to go out rowing the young man's cup seemed running over he could scarcely command his voice for the delight as he said it will be jolly rowing just now I'm sure we can get some pawn lilies really? she replied eerily you take too much for granted I was going to ask Tong Longman to take me out she called to Tom and as he came up grinning and shambling she indicated to him her pleasure that he should row her upon the river the idea of being alone in a small boat for perhaps 15 minutes with the bell of newville and the object of his own secret and distant adoration paralyzed Tom's faculties with an agony of embarrassment he grew very red and there was such a buzzing in his ears he could not feel sure he heard a rite and Madeline had to repeat herself several times before he seemed to fully realize the appalling nature of the proposition as they walked down to the shore she chatted with him but he only responded with the profusion of vacant laughs when he pulled out on the river his rowing from his desire to make an excuse for not talking was so tremulous that they cheered him from the shore at the same time shouting keep her straight you're going into the bank because Tom could not guide the boat because he did not dare to look stern for fear of meeting Madeline's eyes which to judge from the space his eyes left around her he must have supposed to fill at least a quarter of the horizon like an aurora in fact but all the same he was having an awfully good time although perhaps it would be more proper to say he would have a good time when he came to think it over afterwards it was an experience which would prove a mine of gold in his memory the French for years the gilding of his modest daydreams beauty like well should make its owners generous it is a gracious thing in fair women at times to make largesse of their beauty bestowing its light more freely on tongue-tied timid adorers than on their boulder suitors giving to them who dare not ask their beauty never can see more precious to women than when for charity's sake they brighten with its luster of retiring admirers as Henry was roofily meditating upon the uncertainty of the sex and debating the probability that Madeline had called him to swing her for the express purpose of getting a chance to snub him Ida Lewis came to him and said Mr. Burr we're going up in a game of croquette won't you play if I can be on your side he answered civilly he knew the girls liking for him and was always kind to her and she replied shyly if you'd like to you may Henry was not in the least a conceited fellow but it was impossible that he should not understand the reason why Ida who all the morning had looked forlorn enough was now the life of the croquette ground and full of smiles and flushes she was a good player and had a corresponding interest in beating but her equanimity on the present occasion was not in the least disturbed by the disgraceful defeat Henry's awkwardness and absence of mind entailed on their aid but her portion of sunshine for that day was brief enough for Madeline soon returning from her boat ride and Henry found an excuse for leaving the game and joining her was she saffing the ground between the knees of a gigantic oak sorting pond lilies which the girls were admiring as he came up she did not appear to notice him as soon as he had a chance to speak without being overheard he said soberly Tom ought to thank me for that boat ride I suppose I don't know what you mean she answered with assumed carelessness I mean you went to punish me you were sufficiently conceited she replied Laura come here your brother is teasing me and do you think I want to be teased too replied the young lady pertly as she walked off Madeline would have risen and left Henry but she was too proud to let him think that she was afraid of him neither was she afraid but she was confused and momentarily without her usual self-confidence one reason for her running off with Tom had been to get a chance to think no girl however coolly her blood may flow can be pressed to a man's breast wildly throbbing with love for her and not experience some agitation and consequence whatever may be the state of her sentiments there was a magnetism in such a contact which she cannot at once throw off that kiss had brought her relations with Henry to a crisis it had precipitated the necessity of some decision she could no longer hold him off and play with him but that bold dash he gained a vantage ground a certain masterful attitude which he had never held before yet after all I am not sure that she was not just a little afraid of him and moreover that she did not like him all the better for it it was such a novel feeling that it began to make some things thought having connection with him seem more possible to her mind than they had ever seen before as she peep furtively at this young man so suddenly grown formidable as he reclined carelessly on the ground at her feet she admitted to herself that there was something very manly in this sturdy figure in square forehead with the curly black walks hanging over it she looked at him with a new interest half shrinking, half attracted as one who might come into a very close relation with herself she scarcely knew whether the thought was agreeable or not give me your hat said she and I'll put some lilies in it you are very good, said he handing it to her does it strike you so? she replied hesitatingly then I won't do it I don't want to appear particularly good to you I didn't know just how it would seem oh we won't seem very good only about middling he urged upon which representation he watched her admiringly as she deftly wreathe the lilies around it holding it up now this way and now that while she critically inspected the effect then her caprice changed I've half a mind to drop it into the river would you jump after it? said she toiling it by the brim and looking over the steep bank near which she sat into the deep dark water almost perpendicularly below if it were anything of yours instead of mine I would jump quickly enough he replied she looked at him with a reckless gleam in her eyes you mustn't talk chaff to me sir we'll see and snatching a glove from her pocket she held it out over the water they were both of them in a state of suppressed excitement which made such an experiment on each other's nerves dangerous their eyes met and neither flinched if she had dropped it he would have gone after it said she suddenly that would be taking a good deal of trouble to get a mitten if you were so anxious for it I will give it to you now and she held up the glove to him with an inscrutable face he sprang up from the ground Madeline do you mean it? he asked scarcely audibly his face grown white and pinched she scrumpled the obnoxious glove into her pocket why you poor fellow she exclaimed the wildfire in her eyes quenched the moment with the dew of pity do you care so much? I care everything he said, askily but as luck would have it just at that instant Will Taylor came running up pursued by Laura and threw himself upon Madeline's protection it appeared that he had confessed to the possession of a secret a non being requested by Laura to impart it had flatly refused to do so I can't really interfere to protect any young man who refuses to tell a secret to a young lady said Madeline gravely neglect to tell her the secret without being particularly asked to do so would be bad enough but to refuse after being requested is an offense which calls for the sharpest correction and that isn't all either said Laura vindictively flirting the switch with which she had pursued him he used offensive language what did he say? demanded Madeline judicially I asked him if he was sure it was a secret I didn't already know and he said he was and I asked him what made him sure and he said if I knew it everybody else would as much as to say I couldn't keep a secret this looks worse and worse young man said the judge severely the only course left for you was to make a clean breast of the affair and throw yourself on the mercy of the court if the secret turns out to be a good one I'll let you off as easily as I can it's about the new drug clerk the one who is going to take Jordan Bailey's place said Will laughing oh do tell quick exclaimed Laura I don't care who it is I shan't like him said Madeline poor George and here we are forgetting all about him this beautiful day what's the new clerk's name said Laura impatiently Harrison Cordes what? Harrison Cordes rather an odd name said Laura I never heard it no said Will he comes all the way from Boston is he handsome? inquired Laura I really don't know replied Will I presume Parker failed to make that a condition although really he ought to for the looks of the clerk is the principal element on the sale of soda water seeing girls are the only ones who drink it of course it is said Laura frankly I didn't drink any all last summer because poor George's sad face took away my disposition never mind she added we shall all have a chance to see how he looks at church tomorrow and with that two girls went off together to help set the table for lunch the picnickers did not row home till sunset but Henry found no opportunity to resume the conversation with Madeline which had broken off at such an interesting point end of chapter 3 Dr. Haydnhoff's process chapter number 4 of Dr. Haydnhoff's process this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information auto volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Dr. Haydnhoff's process by Edward Bellamy chapter 4 the advent of a stranger was an event of importance in the small social world of new well Mr. Harrison Cordes the new clerk in the drug store might well have been flattered by the attention which he excited at church the next day especially from the fairer half of the congregation far however during discomposed thereby he returned it with such interest that at least half the girls thought they had captivated him by the end of the morning service they all agreed that he was awfully handsome though Laura maintained that he was rather too pretty for a man he was certainly very pretty his figure was tall slight and elegant he had delicate hands and feet a white forehead deep blue smiling eyes yellow hair and a small moustache drooping over lips as enticing as a girls but the ladies voted his manners yet more pleasing than his appearance they were charmed by his easy self-possession and constant alertness as to details of courtesy the village post calmly called him citified and secretly longed to be like him there should a criticism than that to which he was exposed would however have found the fault that under a show of superior ease and affability he was disposed to take liberties with his new acquaintances and exploit their simplicity for his own entertainment evidently he felt that he was in the country that very first Sunday after evening meeting he induced Fanny Miller at his father's house he boarded to introduce him to Madeline and afterward walked home with her making himself very agreeable by asking permission to call Fanny who went along with them tattled off this and it produced a considerable sensation among the girls for it was the want of new well-wours to make very gradual approaches Lara warmly expressed to Madeline her indignation at the impudence of the proceeding but that young lady was sure she did not see any harm in it whereupon Lara lost her temper a little and hinted that it might be more to her credit if she did and the result was a little spat from which Lara eschewed second best as people generally did who provoked a verbal strife with Madeline meanwhile it was rumored that Cordes had availed himself of the permission that he had asked and that he had moreover been seen talking with her in the post office several times the truck store being next door to the post office it was easy for him under pretence of calling for the mail to wail there anyone he might wish to meet the last of the week Fanny Miller gave a little tea party to make Cordes more generally acquainted on that occasion he singled out Madeline with his attentions in such a pronounced manner that the other girls were somewhat picked Lara having her brother's interest at heart had much more serious reasons for being uneasy at the look of things they all remarked how clearly Madeline acted that evening she was so subdued and quiet not a bit like herself when the party broke up Cordes walked home with Madeline and Lara whose pads lay together I'm extremely fortunate said he as he was walking on with Lara after leaving Madeline at her house to have a chance to escort the two bells of Newville at once I'm not so foolish as I look Mr. Cordes said she rather sharply she was not going to let him think he could turn the head of every Newville girl with his city heirs and compliments you might be and not mind owning it he replied making an excuse of her words to scrutinize her face with a frank admiration that sent the color to her cheeks though she was more vexed than pleased I mean that I don't like flattery are you sure he asked with a parent's surprise of course I am what a question I only asked because I never met anyone before who didn't never met anybody who didn't like to be told things about themselves which they knew weren't true and were just said because somebody thought they were foolish enough to believe him I don't expect you to believe him yourself he replied only vain people believe the good things people say about them but I wouldn't give a cent for friends who didn't think better of me than I think of myself and tell me so occasionally too they stood a moment at Laura's gate and just then Henry coming home from the gun shop of which he was foreman passed them and entered the house is that your brother? asked Cordis yes it does one's eyes good to see such a powerful looking young man is your brother married? may I ask he is not in coming into a new circle as I have done you understand Miss Burr I often feel a certain awkwardness an account of not knowing the relations between the persons I meet he said apologizing for his questions Laura saw her opportunity and promptly improved it my brother has been attentive to Miss Brann for a long time they're about as good as engaged good evening Mr. Cordis it so happened that several days after this conversation as Madeline was walking home one afternoon she glanced back at a crossing of the street and saw Harrison Cordis coming behind her on his way to T at the rate she was walking she would reach home and overtook her but if she walked a very little slower he would overtake her her pace slackened she blushed at her conduct but she did not hurry the most dangerous lovers women have are men of Cordis's feminine temperament such men by the delicacy and sensitiveness of their own organizations read women as easily and accurately as women read each other they are alert to detect and interpret those smallest trifles and tone and emotion and bearing which betray the real mood far more unmistakably than more obvious signs Cordis had seen her backward glance and noted her steps grow slower with a complacent smile it was this which emboldened him in spite of the short acquaintance to venture on the line he did good evening Miss Brand he said as he overtook her I don't really think it's fair to begin to hurry when you hear somebody trying to overtake you I'm sure I didn't mean to she replied glad to have a chance to tell the truth without suspecting poor girl that he knew very well she was telling it it isn't safe to he said laughing you can't tell who it may be now it might have been Mr. Burr instead of only me she understood instantly somebody had been telling him about Henry's attentions to her a bitter anger a feeling of which a moment before she would have deemed herself utterly incapable searched up in her heart against the person whoever it was who had told him this for several seconds she could not control herself to speak finally she said I don't understand you why do you speak of Mr. Burr to me I beg your pardon I should not have done so please explain what you mean you'll excuse me I hope he said as if quite distressed to have displeased her it was an unpardonable indiscretion on my part but somebody told me or at least I understood that you were engaged to him somebody has told you of falsehood then she replied and with a bow of rather strained dignity turned in at the gate of a house where a moment before she had not had the remotest intention of stopping if she had been in a boat with him she would have jumped into the water sooner than protract the interview a moment after she had said that mechanically she walked up the path and knocked at the door until the lady of the house opened it she did not notice where she had stopped good afternoon Madeline I'm glad to see you you haven't made me a call this ever so long I'm sorry Mrs. Stiddle but I haven't time to stop today have you got a pattern of a working apron I like to borrow it end of chapter 4 chapter 5 of Dr. Haydnhoff's process this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Dr. Haydnhoff's process by Edward Bellamy chapter 5 now Henry had not chance to be at church that first Sunday evening the courters obtained an introduction to Madeline nor was he at Fannie Miller's Tea Party of the rapidly progressing flirtation between his sweetheart and the handsome drug clerk he had all this time no suspicion whatever spending his days from dawn to sunset in the shop among men he was not in the way of hearing gossip on that sort of subject and Laura posted on Village News had deemed it best to tell him as yet nothing of her apprehensions she was aware that the affection between her brother and Madeline was chiefly on his side and knew well enough of her willfulness to be sure that any attempted interference by him would only make matters worse moreover now that she had warned courters that Madeline was preempted property she hoped he would turn his attention elsewhere and so while half the village was a gog over the flirtation of the new drug clerk with Madeline Brand and Laura was lying awake nights fretting about it Henry went gaily to and from his work in a state of blissful ignorance and it was very blissful he was exultant over the progress he had made in the relationship at the picnic he had told his love he had kissed her if he had not been accepted he had at least not been rejected and that was a measure of success quite enough to intoxicate so ardent and humble a lover as he and indeed what lover might not have taken courage at remembering the sweet pity that shone in her eyes of his lovelorn state the fruition of his hopes to which he had only dared look forward as possibly awaiting him somewhere in the dim future was maybe almost at hand circumstances combined to prolong these rose-tinted dreams a sudden press of orders made it necessary to run the shop till late nights he contrived with difficulty to get out early one evening so as to call on Madeline but she had gone out and he failed to see her it was some ten days after the picnic that on calling a second time he found her at home it chanced to be the very evening of the day on which the conversation between Madeline and Cordes narrated in the last chapter had taken place she did not come in till Henry had waited some time in the parlor and then gave him her hand in a very lifeless way she said she had a bad headache and seemed disposed to leave the talking to him he spoke of the picnic but she rather sharply remarked that it was so long ago that she had forgotten all about it it did seem very long ago to her but to him it was very fresh this cool ignoring of all that had happened that day he could not find their relations at one blow knocked the bottom out of all his thinking for the past week and left him as it were all in the air while he felt that the moment was not propitious for pursuing that topic he could not for the moment turn his mind to anything else and as for Madeline it appeared to be a matter of entire indifference to her whether anything further was said on any subject finally he remarked with an effort to which the result may appear disproportionate Mr. Taylor has been making quite extensive alterations on his house, hasn't he? I should think you ought to know if any one you pass his house every day was her response why of course I know he said staring at her so I thought but you said, hasn't he? and naturally I presumed that you were not quite certain she was evidently quizzing him but her face was inscrutable she looked only as if patiently and rather wearily explaining a misunderstanding as she played with her fan she had an unmistakable expression of being slightly bored Madeline do you know what I should say with you if you were a man? he said desperately yet trying to laugh well really and her eyes had a rather hard expression if you preferred gentlemen's society you'd better seek it instead of trying to get along by supposing me to be a gentleman it seems as if I can't say anything right said Henry I think you do talk a little strangely she admitted with a faint smile her look was quite like that of an uncomplaining martyr what's the matter with you tonight Madeline tell me for God's sake he cried overcome with sudden grief and alarm I thought I told you I had a headache and I really wish you wouldn't use profane language she replied regarding him with lacklustre eyes and that's all it's only a headache that's quite enough I'm sure would you like me to have toothache besides you know I didn't mean that well Eric then she said wearily allowing her head to rest back on the top of her chair as if it were too much to hold it up and half shutting her eyes excuse me I ought not to have kept you I'll go now don't hurry she observed languidly I hope you'll feel better in the morning he offered her his hand and she put hers in his for an instant but withdrew it without returning his pressure and he went away sorely perplexed and bitterly disappointed he would have been still more puzzled if he had been told that not only had Madeline not forgotten about what had happened at the picnic but had in fact thought of scarcely anything else during his call it was that which made her so hard with him that lent such acid to her tone and such colder version to her whole manner as he went from the house she stood looking after him through the parlour window murmuring to herself thank heaven I'm not engaged to him how could I think I would ever marry him oh if a girl only knew Henry could not rest until he had seen her again and found out whether her coldness was a mere freak of coquetry or something more one evening when thanks to the long twilight it was not yet dark he called again she came to the door with hat and gloves on was she going out he asked she admitted that she'd been on the point of going across the street to make a call which had been too long delayed but wouldn't he come in no he wouldn't detain her he would call again but he lingered a moment on the steps while standing on the threshold she played with a button of a glove suddenly he raised his eyes and regarded her in a quite particular manner she was suddenly absorbed with her glove but he fancied her cheek slightly flushed just at the moment when he was calculating that she could no longer well avoid looking up she exclaimed dear me how vexatious there goes another of those buttons I shall have to sew it on again before I go and she looked at him with a charmingly frank air of asking for sympathy at the same time that he conveyed the obvious idea that she ought to lose no time in making the necessary repairs I will not keep you then he said somewhat sadly and turned away was the accident intentional did she want to avoid him he could not help the thought and yet what could be more frank and sunshiny than the smile with which she responded to his parting salutation the next Sunday Laura and he were at church in the evening I wonder why Madeline was not out do you know he said as they were walking home no you're not nearly so friendly with her as you used to be what's the matter she did not reply for just then at a turning of the street they met the young lady of whom they were speaking she looked smiling and happy and very handsome with a flush in either cheek and walking with her was the new drug-clark she seemed a little confused at meeting Henry and for a moment appeared to avoid his glance then with a certain bravado oddly mingled with a deprecating air she raised her eyes to his and bowed it was the first intimation he had had of the true reason of her alienation mechanically he walked on and on too stunned to think as yet feeling only that there was a terrible time of thinking ahead hadn't we better turn back here said Laura very gently he looked up there were a mile or two out of the village on a lonely country road they turned and she said softly in the tone like the touch of tender fingers on an aching spot I knew it long ago but I hadn't the heart to tell you she set her cap at him from the first don't take it too much to heart she is not good enough for you sweet compassion idle words is there any such sense of ownership reaching even to the feeling of identity as that which the lover has in the one he loves his thoughts and affections however short the time had so grown about her and encased her as the hardened clay flower buried ages ago it seems as if he had found her by quarrying in the depths of his own heart than as if he had picked her from the outside world from among foreign things she was never foreign else he could not have had that intuitive sense of intimateness with her which makes each new trait she reveals while a sweet surprise yet seem in a deeper sense familiar as if answering to some pre-existing ideal pattern in his own heart as if it was something that could not have been different in the years after he may grow rich in land and gold but he never again will have such sense of absolute right and internally for ordained ownership in anything as he had long years ago in that sweet girl whom some other fellow married for alas this seemingly inviolable divine title is really no security at all love is liable to ten million suits for breach of warranty the title deeds he gives to lovers taking for price their heart's first fruits turn out no titles at all half the time title to the same property is given to several claimants and the one to finally take possession is often enough one who has no title from love at all Henry had been hard hit but there was a dogged persistence in his disposition that would not allow him to give up till he had tested his fortune to the uttermost his love was quite vanity for Madeleine had never given him any real reason to think that she loved him and therefore the risk of an additional snub or two counted for nothing to deter him the very next day he left the shop in the afternoon and called on her her rather constrained and guarded manner was as if she thought he had come to call her to account he on the contrary tried to look as affable and well satisfied as if he were the most prosperous of lovers when he asked her if she would go out driving with him that afternoon she was evidently taken quite off her guard for recrimination she was prepared but not for this smiling proposal but she recovered herself in an instant and said I'm really very much obliged it is very considerate of you but my mother is not very well this afternoon and I feel I ought not to leave her smothering a sick feeling of discouragement he said as cheerfully as possible I'm very sorry indeed is your mother seriously sick oh no thank you I presume she will be quite well by morning won't you perhaps go to-morrow afternoon if she is better the river road which you admire so much is in all its mid-summer glory thank you really you are quite too good but I think riding is rather likely to give me the headache lately the way she answered him without being in the least uncivil left the impression on his mind that he had been duly persistent there was an awkward silence of a few moments and he was just about to burst forth with he knew not what exclamations and entreaties when Madeline rose saying excuse me a moment I think I hear my mother calling and left the room she was gone some time and returned and sat down with an absent and preoccupied expression of face he did not linger the next Thursday evening he was at conference meeting intending to walk home with Madeline if she would let him to ask her at least she was there as usual and sat at the Melodian a few minutes before nine Cordis came in evidently for the mere purpose of escorting her home Henry doggedly resolved that she should choose between them then and there before all the people the closing hymn was sung and the buzz of the departing congregation sounded in his ears as if it were far away he rose and took his place near the door his face pale his lips set regardless of all observers Cordis with whom he was unacquainted saved by sight stood nearby welcoming and greeting the people as they passed out in general Madeline liked well enough the excitement of electing between rival suitors but she would rather far rather have avoided this public choice to-night she had begun to be sorry for Henry she was as long as possible about closing the Melodian she opened and closed it again at length for further excuse for delaying she came slowly down the aisle looking a little pale herself several of the village young folks who understood the situation lingered smiling at one another to see the fun out and Cordis himself recognized his rival's tragical look with an amused expression at the same time that he seemed entirely disposed to cross Lancers with him as Madeline approached the door Henry stepped forward and huskily asked if he might take her home bowing to him with a gracious smile of declination she said thanks and taking Cordis's arm passed out with him as they came forth into the shadow of the night beyond the illumination of the porch lamps of the church Cordis observed really that was quite tragical I half expected he would pull out a revolver and shoot us both poor fellow I'm sorry for him he was sorryer than you are glad I dare say said Madeline well I don't know about that he replied I'm as glad as I can be and I suppose he's as sorry as he can be I can't imagine any man in love with such a girl as you not being one or the other all the while but the tone was a little a very little colder than the words and her quick ear caught the difference what's the matter are you vexed about anything what have I done she asked in a tone of anxious deprecation which no other person but Harrison Cordis had ever heard from her lips you have done nothing he answered passing his arm round her waist in a momentary embrace of reassurance it is I that Emil tempered I couldn't help thinking from the way this burr pursues you that there must have been something in the story about your having been engaged after all it is not true I never was engaged I couldn't bear him I don't like him only he he I don't want to pry into your secrets don't make any confessions to me I have no right to call you to account he interrupted her rather stiffly please don't say that oh please don't talk that way she cried out as if the words had hurt her like a knife he liked me but I didn't like him I truly didn't don't you believe me what shall I do if you don't it must not be supposed that Cordes had inspired so sudden and strong a passion in Madeleine without a reciprocal sentiment he had been infatuated from the first with the brilliant beautiful girl and his jealousy was at least half real her piteous distress at his slight show of coldness melted him to tenderness there was an impassioned reconciliation to which poor Henry was the sacrifice now that he threatened to cost her the smiles of the man she loved her pity for him was changed into resentment she said to herself that it was mean and cruel in him to keep pursuing her it never occurred to her to find Cordes's conduct unfair in reproaching her for not having lived solely for him before she knew even of his existence she was rather inclined to side with him and blame herself for having lacked an intuitive prescience of his coming which would have kept her a nun in heart and soul the next evening about dusk Henry was wandering sadly and aimlessly about the streets when he met Madeleine face to face at first seemed rather unpleasantly startled and made as if she would pass him without giving him an opportunity to speak to her then she appeared to change her mind and stopping directly before him said in a low voice won't you please leave me alone after this your attentions are not welcome without giving him a chance to reply she passed on and walked swiftly up the street he leaned against the fence and stood motionless for a long time this was all that was wanting to make his loss complete an angry word from her at last his lips moved a little and slowly formed these words in a husky very pitiful whisper that's the end end of chapter 5 chapter 6 of Dr. Haydnhoff's process this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Dr. Haydnhoff's process by Edward Bellamy chapter 6 there was one person at least in the village who had viewed the success of the new drug clerk in carrying off the bell of newville with entire complacency and that was Ida Lewis the girl with a poor complexion and beautiful brown eyes who had cherished a rather hopeless inclination for Henry now that he had lost that bold girl she tremulously assured herself perhaps it was not quite so hopeless Laura too had an idea that such might possibly be the case and hoping at least to distract her brother about whom she was becoming quite anxious she had Ida over to tea once or twice and by various other devices which with a clever woman are matters of course managed to throw her in his way he was too much absorbed to take any notice of this at first but one evening when Ida was at tea with them it suddenly flashed upon him and his face reddened with annoyed embarrassment he had never felt such a cold anger at Laura as at that moment he had it in his heart to say something very bitter to her would she not at least respect his grief he had a do to control the impulse that prompted him to rise and leave the table and then with that suddenness a characteristic of highly wrought moods his feelings changed and he discovered how soft-hearted his own sorrow had made him toward all who suffered in the same way his eyes smarted with pitifulness as he noted the pains with which the little girl opposite him had tried to make the most of her humble charms in the hope of catching his eye and the very poverty of those charms made her efforts the more pathetic he blamed his eyes for the hard clearness with which they noted the shortcomings of the small, unformed features the freckled skin the insignificant and niggardly contour and for the cruelty of the comparison they suggested between all this and Madeline's rich beauty a boundless pity poured out of his heart to cover and transfigure these defects and he had an impulse to make up to her for them if he could by sacrificing himself to her if she desired if she felt toward him as he toward Madeline it were worth his life to save the pity of another such heart-breaking so should he atone perhaps for the suffering Madeline had given him after tea he went by himself to nurse these wretched thoughts and although the sight of Ida had suggested them he went on to think of himself and soon became so absorbed in his own misery that he quite forgot about her and failing to rejoin the girls that evening Ida had to go home alone which was a great disappointment to her but it was perhaps quite as well on the whole for both of them that he was not thrown with her again that evening it is never felt to take for granted that the greatness of a sorrow or a loss is a just measure of the fault of the one who causes it Madeline was not willingly cruel she felt sorry in a way for Henry whenever his said lips and haggard face came under her view but sorry in a dim and distant way as one going on a far and distant way as one going on a far and distant way as one going on a far and distant way as one going on a far and joyous journey as one going on a far and joyous journey is sorry for the former associates he leaves behind for the former associates he leaves behind associates whose faces already ere he goes begin to grow faded and indistinct begin to grow faded and indistinct at the wooing of Cordis her heart had awaked and in the high new joy of loving she scorned the tame delight of being loved which until then had been her only idea of the passion Henry presently discovered that to stay in the village a looker on while the love affair of Madeline and Cordis progressed to its consummation was going to be too much for him instead of his getting used to the situation it seemed to grow daily more insufferable every evening the thought that they were together made him feverish and restless till toward midnight when with the reflection that Cordis had surely by that time left her came a possibility of sleep and yet all this time he was not conscious of any special hate toward that young man if he had been in his power he would probably have left him unharmed he could not indeed have raised his hand against anything which Madeline cared for however great his animosity had been that fact would have made his rival taboo to him that Madeline had turned away from him was the great matter with her she was turned was of subordinate importance his trouble was that she loved Cordis not that Cordis loved her it is only low and narrow natures which can find vent for their love disappointments in rage against their successes in the strictest truest sense indeed although it is certainly a hard saying there is no room in a clear mind for such a feeling of jealousy for the way in which every two hearts approach each other is necessarily a peculiar combination of individualities never before and never after exactly duplicated in human experience so that if we can conceive of a woman truly loving several lovers whether successively or simultaneously they would not be rivals for the manner of her love for each and the manner of each one's love for her is peculiar and single even as if they too were alone in the world the higher the mental grade of the person's concerned the wider their sympathies and the more delicate their perceptions the more true is this Henry had been recently offered a very good position in an arms manufactory in Boston and having made up his mind to leave the village he wrote to accept it and promptly followed his letter having first pledged his sole newville correspondent Laura to make no references to Madeline in her letters if they should be married he was particular to say don't tell me about it till some time afterward perhaps he worked the better in his new place because he was unhappy the foe of good work is too easy self complacency too ready self satisfaction and the tendency to a pleased and relaxed contemplation of life and one's surroundings growing out of a well to do state such a smarting sense of defeat of endless aching loss as filled his mind at this time was a most exacting background for his daily achievements in business and money making to show up against he had lost that power of enjoying rest which is at once the reward for the humiliation of human endeavour work was his nepency and the difference between poor superficial work and the best most absorbing was simply that between a weaker and a stronger opiate he prospered in his affairs and was promoted to a position of responsibility and good salary and moreover was able to dispose of a patent in gun barrels at a handsome price with the hope of distracting his mind from morbid brooding over what was past helping he went into society and endeavoured to interest himself in young ladies but in these efforts his success was indifferent whenever he began to flatter himself that he was gaining a philosophical calm the glimpse of some face on the street that reminded him of Madeline's an accent of a voice that recalled hers the sight of her in a dream brought back in a moment the old thrall and the old bitterness with undiminished strengths eight or nine months after he had left home the longing to return and see what had happened became irresistible perhaps after all although this faint glimmer of a doubt was of his own making and existed only because he had forbidden Laura to tell him to the contrary he actually took some comfort in it while he did not dare to put the question to Laura yet he allowed himself to dream that something might possibly have happened to break off the match he was far indeed from formally consenting to entertain such a hope he professed to himself that he had no doubt and lost to him forever had anything happened to break off the match Laura would certainly have lost no time in telling him such good news it was childishness to fancy ought else but no effort of the reason can quite close the windows of the heart against hope and like a furtive ray of sunshine finding its way through a closed shutter the thought that after all she might be free surreptitiously illumined the dark place in which he sat when the train stopped at Neuville he slipped through the crowd at the station with the briefest possible greetings to the acquaintances he saw and set out to gain his father's house by a back street on the way he met Harry Tuttle and could not avoid stopping to exchange a few words with him as they talked he was in a miserable panic of apprehension lest Harry should blurt out something about Madeline's being married he felt that he could only bear to hear it from Laura's lips whenever the other opened his mouth to speak a cold dew started out on Henry's forehead for fear he was going to make some allusion to Madeline and when at last they separated without his having done so there was such a weakness in his limbs as one feels who first walks after a sickness he saw his folly now his madness in allowing himself to dally with a baseless hope which while never daring to own its own existence had yet so mingled its elevating poison with every vein that he had now no strength left to endure the disappointment so certain and so near at the very gate of his father's house he paused a powerful impulse seized him to fly it was not yet too late why had he come he would go back to Boston and write Laura by the next mail and adduer her to tell him nothing sometime he might bear to hear the truth but not today not now no, not now what had he been thinking of to risk it he would get away when nobody could reach him to slay with a word this shadow of a hope which had become such a necessity of life to him as his opium to the victim whose strength it has sapped and alone replaces it was too late Laura as she sat sewing by the window had looked up and seen him and now as he came slowly up the walk she appeared at the door full of exclamations of surprise and pleasure he went in and they sat down I thought I'd run out and see how you all were he said with a ghastly smile I'm so glad you did father was wondering only this morning if you were never coming to see us again he wiped his forehead with his handkerchief I thought I'd just run out and see you yes, I'm so glad you did she did not show that she noticed his merely having said the same thing over are you pretty well this spring she asked yes, I'm pretty well father was so pleased about your patent he's ever so proud of you after a pause during which Henry looked nervously from point to point about the room he said is he yes, very and so am I there was a long silence and Laura took up her work-basket and bent her face over it and seemed to have a good deal of trouble finding some article in it suddenly he said in a quick spasmodic way is Madeleine married? good god would she never speak no she answered with a falling inflection his heart which had stopped beating sent a flood of blood through every artery but she had spoken as if it were the worst of news instead of good ah could it be in all his thoughts in all his dreams by night or day he had never thought he had never dreamed of that is she dead he asked slowly with difficulty his will stamping the shuddering thought into words as the steel die stamps coins from strips of metal no with the same ill-boding tone in god's name what is it he cried springing to his feet Laura looked out at the window so that she might not meet his eye as she answered in a barely audible voice there was a scandal and he deserted her and afterward only last week she ran away nobody knows where but they think to Boston it was about two o'clock in the afternoon when Henry heard the fate of Madeleine by four o'clock he was on his way back to Boston the expression of his face as he sits in the car is not that which might be expected under the circumstances it is not that of a man crushed by a hopeless calamity but rather of one sorely stricken indeed but still resolute supported by some strong determination which is not without hope before leaving Newville he called on Mrs. Brand who still lived in the same house his interview with her was very painful the sight of him set her into vehement weeping and it was long before he could get her to talk in the injustice of her sorrow she reproached him almost bitterly for not marrying Madeleine instead of going off and leaving her a victim to Cordis it was rather hard for him to be reproached in this way but he did not think of saying anything in self-justification he was ready to take blame upon himself he remembered no more now how she had rejected rebuffed and dismissed him he told himself that he had cruelly deserted her and hung his head before the mother's reproaches the room in which they sat was the same in which he had waited that morning of the picnic while in his presence she had put the finishing touches to her toilet there above the table hung against the wall there was a mirror that on that morning had given back the picture of a girl in white with crimson braid about her neck and wrists and a red feather in the hat so jauntily perched above the low forehead altogether a maiden exceedingly to be desired perhaps somewhere she was standing before a mirror at that moment with her cheeks what sort of a look is it in her eyes what is the fell shadow that has passed upon her face by the time Henry was ready to leave the poor mother had ceased her upbradings and had yielded quite to the sense of a sympathy founded in a loss as great as her own which his presence gave her he was the only one in all the world from whom she could have accepted sympathy and in her lonely desolation it was very sweet and at the last when he was about to go her grief burst forth afresh he put his arm around her and drew her head to his shoulder and tenderly soothed her and stroked the thin grey hair till at last the long shuddering sobs grew a little calmer it was natural that he should be the one to comfort her it was his privilege in the adoption of sorrow and not of joy he had taken this mother of his love to be his mother don't give her up he said I will find her if she is alive end of chapter 6 chapter 7 of Dr. Haydnhoff's process this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Dr. Haydnhoff's process by Edward Bellamy Chapter 7 a search continued unintermittingly for a week among the hotels and lodging-houses of Boston proved finally successful he found her as she opened the door of the miserable apartment which she occupied and saw who it was that had knocked the hard, unbeautiful red of shame covered her face she would have closed the door against him had he not quickly stepped within her eyelids fluttered a moment and then she met his gaze with a look of reckless hardy-hood still holding the door half-open she said Henry Burr what do you want the masses of her dark hair hung low about her neck in disorder and even in that first glance his eye had noted a certain negligent untidiness about her toilet most different from her former ways her face was worn and strangely aged and saddened but beautiful still with the quenchless beauty of the glorious eyes those sleepless nights had left their dark traces round them what do you want why do you come here she demanded again in harsh, hard tones for he had been too much moved in looking at her to reply at once now however he took the door-handle out of her hand and closed the door and said what is this tenderness of his moist eyes to mend the bluntness of the words Madeline I want you I want you for my wife the faintest possible trace of scorn was perceptible about her lips but her former expression of hard indifference was otherwise quite unchanged as she replied in a spiritless voice so you came here to mock me it was taking a good deal of trouble but it is fair you should have your revenge he came close up to her I'm not mocking I'm in earnest I'm one of those fellows who can never love but one woman and love her for ever and ever if there were not a scrap of you left bigger than your thumb I'd rather have it than any woman in the world and now her face changed there came into it the wistful look of those before whom passes a vision of happiness not for them a look such as might be in the face of a doomed spirit which floating by should catch a glimpse of heavenly meads and be glad to have had it although its own way laid toward perdition with a sudden impulse she dropped upon her knee and seizing the hem of his coat pressed it to her lips and then before he could catch her sprang away and stood with one arm extended toward him the palm turned outward warning him not to touch her her eyes were marvellously softened with the tears that suffused them and she said I thank you Henry you are very good I did not think any man would be so good now I remember you always were very good to me it will make the Lordinum taste much sweeter no no don't pity my shame spare me that oh don't but he was stronger than she and kissed her it was the second time he had ever done it her eyes flashed angrily instantly passed and she fell upon a chair crying as if her heart would break her hands dropping nervously by her sides for this was that miserable desolate sorrow which does not care to hide its flowing tears and rung face oh you might have spared me that oh God was it not hard enough before in his loving stupidity thinking to reassure her he had wounded the pride of shame the last retreat of self-respect that cruelest hurt of all there was a long silence she seemed to have forgotten that he was there looking down upon her as she sat desolate degraded hopeless before him not caring to cover her face his heart swelled till it seemed as if it would burst with such a sense of piteous loyalty and sublime devotion as a faithful subject in the brave old times might have felt towards his queen whom he has found in exile rags and penury deserted by gods and men she might be but his queen forever she was whose feet he was honored to kiss but what a gulf between feeling this and making her understand his feeling at length when her sobs had ceased he said quietly forgive me I didn't mean to hurt your feelings it's all the same it's no matter she answered listlessly wiping her eyes with her hand I wish you would go away though and leave me alone what do you want with me I want what I have always wanted I want you for my wife she looked at him with stupid amazement as if the real meaning of this already once declared desire had only just distinctly reached her mind or as if the effect of its first announcement had been quite effaced by the succeeding outburst why I thought you knew you can't have heard about me she said I have heard, I know all he exclaimed taking a step forward and standing over her forgive me darling forgive me for being almost glad when I heard that you were free and not married out of my reach I can't think of anything except that I found you it is you, isn't it it is you I don't care what's happened to you if it is only you as he spoke in this vehement fiery way she had been regarding him with an expression of faint curiosity I believe you do really mean it she said wonderingly lingering over the words you always were a queer fellow mean it, he exclaimed kneeling before her his voice all tremulous with the hope which the slightly yielding intonation of her words had given him yes, yes, I mean it the faint ghost of a smile which only brought out the sadness of her face as a taper in a crypt reveals its gloom hovered about her eyes poor boy she said I've treated you very badly I was going to make an end of myself this afternoon but I will wait till you are tired of your fancy for me it will make but little difference there, there please don't kiss me end of chapter 7