 Because I'm trying to like give you I do want a relationship eventually, but not right now. I do want a relationship Not right now right now. I want one right now Listen, it's the message right here Like boy. Tell me how you really feel Because I just want to build with you black girl. Tell me how you really feel I Want to keep it real with you. I want to live better eat better I want to love better sleep better. Yeah, I want to feel so aligned If I have a man I don't want to be like an independent Woman, I want to be I don't want to say dependent. Oh god I want to Be submissive, I guess That's not what you were saying earlier But I'm saying like I don't go on the first date looking for that At all like I just Go and go with the flow like it's not all about Submitting and all of that all the time like men and women can be friends too. Hmm. I agree. You don't agree. I do I do. Yeah, I have a lot of female friends. Like it's not always about Competition it's not a competition. The reason I keep saying competition is because y'all keep complaining about dudes you don't want And also and you guys complain about women too No, we complain about women because we're finding these things across the board We're finding that women who are Educated women who are uneducated women who are ratchet women are not ratchet attractive unattractive all act the same No That's the problem You feel like we all act the same We don't Not not not everybody, but I'm saying in large numbers when I when I make statements. I'm talking about broadly so when I when I'm watching kevin samu show kinder g show like Y'all off your rockers In mass not everybody obviously but in mass and the worst part is Y'all claim you want this magical dude But you know nothing about them and you're unwilling to change or compromise or improve yourself To be worthy of him because you think that he should like you for the same reason you would like him He should like me because I'm a career oriented woman. And you know what I'm saying? I have big muscles and big feet Those are dude things I'm just I'm just I'm being funny, but yeah women don't understand the men they claim they want So it makes it makes me think you know me putting two and two together. You don't really want You just like the idea you like the aesthetic of it Maybe Yeah, so I just want people to start being honest. I don't really I don't want to There are a lot of women that just want the aesthetic in life and just want the Wife and the husband and the kids and the nice house with a picket fence and Stuff like that. But I think a lot of women also are realizing that that's not All there is to life There's more to life than Marrying someone and having kids and you know being emotionally Available for somebody else like it's That's what I had to realize when I became single Like it's more to life than trying to figure out who my partner is going to be and You know who I'm going to be with for the rest of my life Like that's where a lot of women are in our life. Like We're just there right now and unless you can understand that Then maybe you shouldn't try to be with someone who's at that point in their life Because I've had a lot of men in my life that have tried to force their way in my life when I'm clearly not wanting To be in that type of situation like and then they'll make you feel bad because You want to just focus on yourself or you want to just go out and have a good time with your friends without having to worry about coming home at a specific hour and stuff like that like We have to realize like what what we want and set boundaries Um in life period. So so what do women want? Women want boundaries We don't want to be We just want some space without so much pressure and so much put on us and you know Because like I said, we're being told that we got to go to work too and pay the bills too. So I mean It's not that we're being told that is this that's just what we're doing because I mean even if a man told me that I didn't have to pay any bills. I'm still gonna go to work I have to have my own, you know, and I don't feel like that I should feel bad about that I should You know, that makes me a less of a woman because I want my own things in life Like I don't feel like I should just want what my man wants Some things. Yeah, you compromise and you want together and you agree on together, but So this is a question I ask sometimes, you know I don't know if it's gonna apply to you because you're basically saying you don't necessarily want relationship from a traditional standpoint Do you want a would you prefer a leader or a partner? That's a good question I prefer a leader because I don't want I feel like I can be not a partner by myself, but I can You know, if you have a partner that means you're figuring stuff out together and you know It's nobody in that situation that's like, hey, let's do this and I think this is a smart thing Like I feel like a partner. I wouldn't need that because I can do that by myself like I can We can have the same ideas and figure things out But you know, I want a leader in my life Like but I can be a leader too though, which is crazy like one of us kind of interchanges because sometimes the woman is the leader sometimes the man is the leader So you want a leader but you don't I want a leader in the relationship at some point But not right now I do want a relationship, but I'm not Dead set on like that's not all that there is to life I think why that's hard to compute because I'm trying to like give you the better I do want a relationship eventually, but not right now. I do want a relationship Not right now right now I want one right now But I'm not like but her if somebody isn't the one that I'm supposed to be with Like I'm not gonna go on the internet and talk shit about all black men because One tried to holler at me that don't have a job or that don't have his shit together I want a relationship, but I'm not like I'm not gonna kill myself over it You know what I'm saying? No Do you want a relationship right now? Why I can't deal with it. What what can you do? What can't you deal with? Well, so from first and foremost, it's it's a me thing. I don't have the bandwidth I don't have the time. I don't have the patience right now and a woman wouldn't be my like I got more important things going on Right, so that's first Secondly, um It's a lot of shit in this dating pool. There's a lot of shit in war And sometimes uh, the shit doesn't know what shit Yeah So, you know for me I'm at the point and I'm even getting even closer to the point where like I have a lot to lose Yes, and I encourage men to get to that point in their life because you move different when you have a lot to lose so When you're encountering people who are confused Other than wap all they could bring to your life is confusion. I ain't got time for that Okay, so that's part of it. So look back to you You said you because you started saying that eventually And then I kept asking then you said I do want I want a relationship right now For the wrong reasons, what are the reasons that everybody in the world in a relationship? It's for sex so I can have somebody to Snuggle it at night like that's why I say now, but I say eventually because in reality I know that's not realistic like I'm not just gonna have this fairy tale where A man is gonna come and he's gonna be all the things that I need and I just don't have the power or the wheel right now to Try to work with anybody or try to understand There we go again to the truth now again to the truth. I don't Because in a relationship, neither one is perfect. Like no one comes to the relationship this Perfect this foot and you know, no one needs to work on anything and I feel like I know that So that's what's making me say eventually But the sex is what's making me say now, but realistically I'm not ready for a relationship Oh, he's my first about to flood your DMs They're going to flood your DMs They're not up. Well, I don't want them. Well, if they flood my DMs for that then I'll just won't answer them Like that's fine if they want to DM me about sex, but I don't have to entertain that Which is the great thing about being single. So so you're admitting something that I've suspected for a while I want a job for the paycheck I want none of the responsibility. I don't want to have to clock in at a certain time I don't want to have to wear a suit. I don't want to have to go to meetings or nothing I just want the paycheck That's essentially what you're saying No, it's not what I'm saying. I'm saying I want to Use the job. Just have a little cake, but not eat it too So you want to look at the cake? Yeah, I want a little piece of the ice and or something And that's it, but yeah, like Realistically, of course, I can't just be going around just fucking people. So Here I am. Let me ask you this. Do you feel confused? Do I feel confused? Yeah, because you sound confused. Yeah, sometimes I feel confused, but it's okay Like I don't have to know that I want to marry somebody tomorrow. It's just No, I'm not talking about with the person. I'm talking about as far as what you want. Yeah Okay, yeah, you know the problem is I don't care About it though about what about being confused about what I want But you know what the problem is what? What's the problem you'll attract confused people I agree But you hit the head on whatever you say when you say that saying head on the nail Yeah, let's go with that Yes, you're right. You attract what you are And I do attract a lot of confused as people that are really not Set in their life and here I am like saying I want something but don't want something. So, yeah That's why I don't even have any like potential moves Because I'm just aggravated Attracting those people. So I'm trying to work on myself. I am working on myself and I am aware that I'm confused about If I want to be in a relationship, but that's a big thing to think about Like I'm 28 now I don't feel like that's old like I don't feel like I should be rushing into anything But I don't know. I don't feel like I don't know. I don't know It's it's okay to not know though. Like you don't have to be just sure about everything in life. Dang allege Have you ever seen the notebook? Yes, you know, they've seen a notebook. He's like, what do you want? What Do you want that is my question to you ultimately? So again, you don't have to have all the answers, right? But ultimately I think men women Everybody you should at least have a north star At 60 I want to be retired on a beach So obviously there are different ways for me to get to that beach and to get to retirement But I have to have a north star So like what is your ultimate north star and then maybe we can talk about some of the different paths to get to that north star My north star is Someone else career Not the person but the life you want to have I want to just be Because if your goal is rich auntie, then you're perfect. Just keep doing what you're doing But if your goal is Grandma and grandpa and companionship, then you are you're wrong. See I don't know about that Let's talk about it. Like I'm sure about things like other things in my life like my career and you know Stuff like that, but you know what I want to do with my child and things like that But I just feel like I put the relationship on the back burner. Like it's just not a thing that's like I see right now that I'm like, oh, I want to be with someone by the time I'm 35 and I want to marry him by the time I'm 36 and I want to have another child before I Be turned 38 like I'm not there yet. I'm 28 I just I've been single for A little over a year now. So I'm really figuring me out. I was with someone for like seven years. So This is I feel like I should be a little confused. I shouldn't just jump into something and feel like that's the sure thing and What I want so to answer your question. I don't really have a north star I'm just out here wondering like need a compass need something Like I don't know and it's okay to be like that though But you also can't be like me and bash You know black men and make them feel like They're not heard and you know, they can't feel a certain way about certain things because There are a lot of women that are not like me and just go for anything and expect you to deal with anything And I don't want that. I want a nice. I do want Just a nice peaceful relationship like We're not going to agree on everything all the time, but someone that I could talk to and Agree to disagree and understand where they're coming from and You know just build together and be able to Lead me But just not tell you when to come home You can tell me when to come home, but if I'm single No, you can't tell me when to come home if we're dating No, and a lot of men do expect that like I'll go on a few dates with you And now you wonder where I'm at when I'm posting that I'm in the club at two in the morning or wherever I may be Like I don't ask you that. I don't wonder where you at At some point we have to have fun and not feel like everything is about being in a fucking committed relationship Like at some point There has to be a median like before all the I'm going to get married and before you even think about like, okay. This is my north star It has to be some fun before that like before you figure out Where are you going to go in life with your soulmate? You know