 From DailyDoseOfWeirdNews.com, I'm Darren Marlar and this is your Daily Dose of Weird News! This episode is brought to you by the audiobook Your Haunted Lives, True Tales of the Paranormal by G. Michael Vasey, a collection of creepy, often downright chilling true experiences of the strange and weird that'll keep you looking over your shoulder. Here are a free sample and support Marlar House by downloading the audiobook for yourself at DailyDoseOfWeirdNews.com. Johnny Depp, speaking on stage Thursday at Glastonbury Festival in Somerset, England, said this about President Trump. ***This is going to be in the press and it'll be horrible, but I like that you're all a part of it. When was the last time an actor assassinated a president? ***Of all the bandwagons you could have chosen to jump on, you chose the career-destroying Kathy Griffin one. President Trump admitted Thursday that he made no audio recordings of his meeting with James Comey, which would have been great news for Comey. President Trump was recorded on video recently driving his golf cart over a well-manicured green at his own New Jersey golf course. Driving onto greens is considered a serious faux pas among golfers, and then he started making bets with other golfers on the course and cranked up journeys any way you want it on the stereo installed in his golf bag. ***So what? So let's dance! ***The Pentagon has blown $28 million in taxpayer money over the past decade buying the wrong uniforms for the Afghan Army. The uniforms featured a woodland camouflage pattern, but the problem is forests cover only about 2% of the country. Hey, Ahmed, it looks like there's a forest coming right for us, and the trees are carrying rifles! Cher is blaming Nancy Pelosi for that loss in Georgia last week. She's had two failed marriages, a variety show, a daughter who's had a sex change operation, so yeah, obviously she's the right person to listen to when it comes to political analysis. Boeing is said to be working on jets that fly themselves. Of course, the first question by the folks at United Airlines, so who would drag the passengers off? A faculty advisor at Vista Marietta High School in Southern California has been fired after it came to light that the advisor had rigged the election for class president. Vladimir Putin has refused to return calls from reporters. North Korea says that President Trump is a psychopath who may launch a preemptive strike against them to distract from his problems at home. Hey pot, meet Kettle. A new study indicates olive oil can help you preserve memories. Now just remember that the next time I'm at the store. According to a new survey, the number one thing most Americans want to do on their vacations? Nothing. Hey, good news! I'm actually offering Marlar House Vacation packages starting at $1,000 per person, where you can stay in my basement for an entire week and do nothing! It's the perfect vacation! Don't talk to your travel agent, just email me directly. The latest report says that the modern KKK is beset with constant infighting. Well, if they got along with people, they wouldn't be a hate group now, would they? Well, it appears Mr. Kim Jong-un is just as insecure as the rest of us, and he is self-conscious about his body, specifically his ears. North Korea has strangely taken to photoshopping its leaders' ears, which a pair of non-proliferation experts picked up on. Dave Schmurler of the James Martin Center for Non-proliferation Studies and Jeffrey Lewis of the Middlebury Institute of International Studies at Monterey say they've noticed several photos in which editing specifically targets Kim's ears. As Lewis puts it, he doesn't like his ears, or so it seems. The cosmetic alteration and others like it are likely designed to help Kim look a bit more handsome than he is in real life, Lewis says. His ears aren't Kim's greatest cause for distress, apparently. The chairman of South Korea's Parliamentary Intelligence Committee says Kim is limiting public appearances and travel over fears that there's a plot to cut his head off per the Korean Herald. Hey, you know what, you can do that with Photoshop, too. A Texas woman has had eight surgeries so far with her goal to look like Melania Trump. I would make a comment about how stupid this is, but I'm just glad somebody's not trying to look like a Kardashian. The median age for Americans has risen to 38 years old. Hey, I'm above average! Burger King has started serving Lucky Charms milkshakes made with ice cream, syrup, marshmallows, and Lucky Charms cereal. And they're free if you can prove you're a real leprechaun. In Shelton, Connecticut, 33-year-old Lance Churchill would do well to choose his battles a bit more wisely. He's facing charges after police say he got into an altercation with a five-year-old. Yes, a five-year-old. This went down last Friday at the Apple Tree Daycare. Churchill was visiting for a Father's Day party where all of the children's fathers were invited. Police say a child playfully took the Father's Day card that Churchill received from his son and ran around the room with it. That's when Churchill, who is 6'4 and weighs 270 pounds, chased after the child, picked him up over his head and pinned him to the ground and screamed at him. Daycare staff took the child away from Churchill and called the police. When officers arrived, Churchill allegedly wanted the five-year-old arrested. Right instead, they arrested Mr. Churchill and charged him with risk of injury to a minor and disorderly conduct. Next time, pick on somebody your own size, Lance. Hey, good news, Oregon! Your fresh meat supply just became more plentiful, thanks to a new bill passed overwhelmingly by the legislature and signed by the governor, motorists who crash into animals can now harvest the meat to eat. Yep, it's now legal to eat roadkill in Oregon. That's right, Oregonians, you'll never again have to worry about running out of possum in your freezer. Amazon is launching its own fashion service, allowing people to try clothes for a week before buying. Which is great, because I could really use some new underwear. A Florida Lice Treatment Center says that selfies could be one of the major causes of lice with teens. I guess lice just like to photobomb people's pics. For decades, a 55-year-old woman in China has had an appetite for dirt. Her unusual habit began some 50 years ago when she got a taste while cleaning a family home. She estimates she has eaten now five tons of dirt, and even worse, it's Chinese dirt, meaning 20 minutes later you're hungry to eat more of it. President Trump now admits there are no tapes of James Comey. Meanwhile, Comey confessed that he never DVR'd the apprentice. A book of short stories titled 40 Minutes Late has been returned to a San Francisco library 100 years late. Webb Johnson returned the book Friday, and there was no fine. Johnson's great-grandmother had checked it out in 1917. She passed away a week before the due date. Johnson found the 1909 book in an old steamer trunk in 1996. So maybe it wasn't great grandma's fault, since she died before it was due, you found the book in 1996. You're just now returning it? 21 years after you found it? A couple from Ecuador claims that they have lived without eating food for nine years, saying they live on just air. Looking for a new dining experience in San Francisco, a place called The Dungeon has planned a two-day experimental rat café for those who feel their coffee or tea is better sipped while rats, supplied by the local rat rescue, scurry about the room. Pastries are included for the $49.99 price, but the rats will be removed before the food comes. Guests are promised at least 15 minutes of rat interaction, and the price includes admission to The Dungeon. You're just in time. This all goes down July 1st and July 8th. Yum. There are rumors circulating around DC that Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy is about to retire. The rumors started when he began showing up each morning wearing a fishing hat. An associate professor of English at an Ontario University lent her copy of a textbook to one of her students five years ago, and never saw it again. That is, until she recently ordered a used replacement copy on Amazon, and her old copy arrived, complete with her name and the date written in her handwriting on the title page. Eugenia Zorowski said, I was stunned. She notes that it's particularly uncanny because the book is about shopping practices and how consumer markets encourage us to feel closely attached to the things we buy. Good thing she was an English teacher and not teaching ethics, seeing as her student just stole her book and sold it online. Japan is in constant conflict over whether to beef up their military. As of late, increasing concerns about North Korea are fueling the fire, even though the country's constitution requires a low-profile military, only for purposes of self-defense. However, when the country's defense minister recently suggested placing females into combat roles, the constitutional law professor strongly objected. It's not the obvious sexism that got people talking, though, rather it was his reasoning for not wanting women in combat. He actually said that Japan's enemies might have bombs capable of blowing women's uniforms off, thus exposing their bodies. Don't worry, the laughter and ridicule was swift. One critic wrote, I think I saw something like that in Dragon Ball Z. The toddler in Massachusetts survived a two-story fall from a building last Wednesday thanks to his stuffed animal. The two-year-old boy of Chelsea was jumping on his bed when a hop sent him out his home window. Luckily, the boy was holding a large stuffed cow during the fall. He landed on the toy, which provided a cushion between him and the concrete sidewalk. I had a cow save my life once, I was starving, but I found a McDonald's just in time to grab a cheeseburger. An Algerian man picked a truly horrible way to satisfy his craving for attention, and now will get plenty of attention in prison. You've probably seen the now-infamous photo posted by the unnamed man dangling a baby out of a 15th-story window of an apartment building in Algiers with the caption, 1,000 likes or I drop him. Well, social media users quickly denounced the photo and police charged the man with endangering the life of a child when they arrested him on Sunday. The man who is a cousin of the baby swears the whole thing was a misunderstanding. The boy's father also said he believed the man was just being playful and asked the court for mercy. The court responded by sentencing the idiot to two years behind bars. Maybe you remember the story of 34-year-old Kelly Mason of Leicester, England. She had grown weary of her neighbor's kid's soccer ball constantly landing in her garden, and when it happened again, punctured the ball before throwing it back. The mother of the children, Natalie Bolan and her father, William Jelly, responded by coming right over and beating Mrs. Mason to death. While the two murderers just found out their fate, they each got seven years in prison. Bolan's lawyer said things had been boiling for a long time, both women had filed complaints with police regarding the other, and his client simply snapped. He added the consequences were far beyond anything she could have imagined and is something she will be eternally ashamed of and will regret forever. However, the judge said neither Bolan nor Jelly showed any remorse for their actions. He said Bolan boasted about the assault to friends and seemed almost triumphant at Mason's death. And so you give them just seven years? Despite experiencing the hottest June temperatures and more than 40 years, the head teacher at ISCA Academy in Devon, England told boys shorts were not an acceptable part of the school uniform. However, she did not ban skirts. So, guess what happened next? Yep, dozens of boys at the secondary school turned up in skirts that they had borrowed from friends or siblings. One teen described the feeling as a nice breeze amid these sweltering temperatures. One mother, whose 14-year-old son attends the school, said children also don't like injustice. The boys see the female teachers in sandals and nice, cool skirts and tops, while they are wearing long trousers and shoes and the older boys have to wear blazers. Boys who wore the school's regulation tartan skirts did not get into trouble, except for the one who wore his too short. Despite the protest now spreading to other schools with bans on shorts, Mitchell has said she is ready to consider the school's dress code. Congratulations boys, you stood up like real women and fought for equal rights for boys. Curl power! Ryan Seacrest is still trying to hammer out the final details for him hosting the next incarnation of American Idol. The current sticking point is that Ryan wants executive producer credit as part of his compensation. Lionel Ritchie won't supposedly sign on as a judge until Ryan is secured. Wait a minute, Lionel Ritchie, he's still alive? Kim Kardashian was the top bidder at an auction for a wristwatch once owned by Jackie Kennedy. All it took was $379,000. What do you need a watch for, Kimmy? Do you know what also tells time? That phone you keep taking selfies with. Oscar-winning filmmaker Ron Howard is stepping into a galaxy far, far away from the upcoming Star Wars Han Solo spin-off movie after the surprised departure of its directors. Who would have thought that back in 1977, when Star Wars was released in theaters, that the redhead kid on Happy Days, which was on television at that same time, would be directing a prequel to that movie 40 years later? In fact, who knew what a prequel even WAS back in 1977? Never miss a single episode of The Daily Dose of Weird News. Download the free Marlar House mobile app. In the app you can find links to my Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. Watch other Marlar House YouTube videos. Sign up for the Marlar Sheet newsletter to automatically be registered for giveaways. Purchase Daily Dose of Weird News t-shirts or mugs. Download audiobooks I've narrated. See my latest blog posts and more. The Marlar House mobile app is free for iOS and Android users. Download it now by clicking the mobile app tab at DailyDoseOfWeirdNews.com or search for Marlar House in your phone app store. Study says there is a connection between drinking black coffee and sadistic psychopathic tendencies. Not that I'm going to give up black coffee. Los Angeles may soon dedicate a street called Obama Boulevard. Actually, it'll be a toll road that requires change. In Cedro Willy Washington, Leno Silva was driving down the road when he saw what he thought was a large tree root. Turns out it was a dead 16-foot-long python. Silva said it had apparently been run over by a car, so he and a buddy hauled the huge snake to a friend's house and did what probably most of us would have done. They skinned it, said they learned how by watching the Discovery Channel. Leno now plans to call a taxidermist so he can preserve the skin and use it to make a jacket or a vest. Down at the Lake County Jail in Florida, 32-year-old inmate Larry Stone made a phone call that would typically cost about $20. But it didn't go through. The charge was supposed to be refunded to his inmate account, but when Larry checked his balance, he discovered his account now had more money than before the call. So he thought he'd test his luck again and made another call and hung up. Once again, more money magically appeared. So he then repeated this little exercise 77 times, exploiting the glitch that was mistakenly depositing credits into inmate trust accounts for each incomplete phone call. After four hours of this, Larry had accumulated more than $1,250 – enough money to bond out of jail. So he paid his bond and walked out. But his newfound freedom didn't last long, news of the bug floated to other inmates who began to spend inordinate amounts of time on the phone. But soon the jail officers caught wind of what was going on and put a stop to it. Nevertheless, the glitch affected about 256 jail inmate accounts and lasted 24 hours. Now the software error has been fixed and accounts restored to their pre-glitch totals. And just a few hours after his release, Mr. Stone turned himself in to authorities, saying he knew they were looking for him. He now faces additional charges of scheming with intent to defraud and grand theft. More inmates will likely be charged as well. Fool me once, shame on you, but fool me 77 times. The latest numbers show that in America our pets are getting fatter. But interestingly, the pets are actually thinner in the states where the people are the fattest. Well, obviously that's because there are no leftovers in those states. A study says forgetting things is not only normal, it can make people smarter. That must be why I always forget I'm a genius. A city in Northern Taiwan is trying the mightest touch to persuade reluctant residents to clean up after their dogs by offering a chance to win gold bars to anyone handing in bags of doggy-do. Starting August 1, dog owners and other residents of New Taipei City can hand in dog poop to government cleaning teams in exchange for tickets to a drawing. First prize is three gold ingots worth about $2,100. I don't know, $2,100 or don't pick up poop. That's a tough call. A study says the average wedding guest last year spent $888 on each ceremony. They have no wonder fewer and fewer people believe in marriage nowadays. They can't afford to attend the ceremonies. Matthew Perry's LA home is up for sale. Yours for only $13.5 million. Yep, friends in high places. In Victorville, California, deputies and witnesses were left dumbfounded after a motorcyclist rear-ended a minivan and landed in the backseat unscathed. Meanwhile, the driver of the van continued making his turn and pulled into his own driveway nearby completely unaware that he had a new passenger. Police spokeswoman Karen Hunt said, we're calling this one a non-injury collision with a twist. It seems the driver of the minivan slowed down to make a left turn. The motorcyclist following behind him didn't stop in time and crashed into the rear of the van shattering the van's window. By then, the minivan driver had already committed to the turn and pulled onto his driveway less than a half a block away. As he turned around, the man discovered the shocked motorcyclist behind him, and while there was severe damage to the motorcycle and back of the minivan, amazingly neither of the men required any medical attention. Although you gotta wonder if maybe that van driver needs a check-up. If he didn't see, hear, or feel something crash through his back window. Engineers in Boise did an amazing thing. They transplanted a 10-story tall 100-year-old sequoia tree to its new location a couple of blocks away. Traffic in the area was murder. Not because of the slow-moving tractor trailer hauling the tree, but because of the long line of squirrels having to relocate by crossing the road. The California man has visited Disneyland 2,000 days in a row. So far, he's only been able to get on to five rides, the rest of the time was spent waiting in line. Facebook is in talks with Hollywood Studios about producing scripted TV quality shows with an aim of launching original programming by late summer. They plan on creating their own version of the TV show Friends, but none of the cast will actually know each other in real life. This episode is brought to you by the audiobook Your Haunted Lives, True Tales of the Paranormal by G. Michael Vasey, a collection of creepy, often downright chilling, true experiences of the strange and weird that'll keep you looking over your shoulder. Here are free sample and support Marlar House by downloading the audiobook for yourself at DailyDoseOfWeirdNews.com. Burger King and Popeyes have both promised to stop using chickens injected with antibiotics by the end of the year. Who knew sick chickens could taste so delicious? In Hudson Bend, Texas, a 30-year-old man made the huge mistake of falling asleep while nude on a boat dock under the blazing sun. He finally awoke to find second-degree burns on 40% of his body and had to be taken to the hospital by helicopter. Second-degree burns are described as open blisters. Two words, sunscreen. Another two words, wear clothes. Police in Cincinnati say Jamila Turnbow was attacked simply because of what she was wearing. No, it wasn't sexy hot pants and a halter top, it was actually a very modest set of dark overalls. But she had the misfortune of walking by just as a police officer let one of the police dogs loose to answer the call of nature. The outfit Jamila was wearing had a strong resemblance to the bite suit used during canine training, so the dog reacted as he had been trained. An attack. Jamila got a 3-inch cut on her upper right arm from the attack, but police sergeant Daniel Hills stated in a memo to police higher-ups that her attire and the dog's response doesn't excuse what he describes as the canine officer's lack of attention and control of his canine partner. Hills is recommending a reprimand and has ordered that no police dogs be allowed off their leash in public. And that sound you hear, that's the dripping of saliva coming from the mouths of the personal injury attorneys who are just lining up at Jamila's front door right about now. A woman in China claims to be the oldest living person in the world and supposedly turns 131 this week. She's so old she could be Mel Brooks' mother, and he turned 91 this week. China's challenge to Samsung and Apple is becoming available in the U.S. The OnePlus 5 that comes with a starting price tag of $479 for a 64 GB model. Plus, being from China, you also get the added benefit of the phone including lead at no extra charge. In Essex, England, a 17-year-old high school senior girl was so upset about the prospect of receiving her first school detention, she had a heart attack. No kidding. Tabitha Magelliot was unaware she had a heart condition that could have killed her at any minute. Things got rough when she got caught sneaking out of school without permission. Tabitha said, When we got to the gates, I could hear my teacher calling my name and my heart started hammering. I felt my legs turning to jelly and then everything went black. I now know my heart was a ticking time bomb waiting to go off. Luckily, a paramedic got to West Cliff High School for girls within three minutes to restart the teenager's heart. She was hospitalized and experts later diagnosed a rare condition that causes the body to pump blood around the heart the wrong way. Just 10% of sufferers survived beyond their first birthday, but amazingly, Tabitha has now made a full recovery following surgery. Talk about having a twinkle in your eye. An optometrist at India's Shekhar Eye Research Center has developed diamond-incrusted gold-plated contact lenses. No kidding! It's fired by the jewels in his wife's teeth. The exotic eyewear will set you back $15,000 a pair. Plus, you get the added benefit of looking like you're possessed by the devil. That's always a good thing. In playstyle in New Hampshire, a thief who stole a woman's wallet in a supermarket showed up at her door a few days later to return her $90, a GPS and brought along an apology letter. The wallet was stolen from the 61-year-old woman's shopping cart, and while it was later found at a Massachusetts post office, the money was gone. Days later, when the victim answered a knock at her door, a man said he was sorry, returned her belongings, gave her the long letter and fled. Police say he probably found her address in the wallet. While our victim is happy to have her stuff back, she is a little nervous that the thief knows where she lives. And despite his remorseful act, if the police catch him, he still faces charges. So it's kind of hard to be good at robbery if you're going to let that nasty conscience of yours get the best of you. AAA says that 37.5 million Americans will hit the road this long holiday weekend. Which sounds like a great reason to stay home. Megan Kelly's Sunday night show took another dip in the ratings last weekend. It's been getting lower each week. This past Sunday, a rerun of America's funniest home videos had more viewers. So, MSNBC is now offering Tom Bergeron his own talk show. In Peterborough, Ontario, police arrested 41-year-old Lawrence Alfred Cameron while biking downtown with an axe in his hand, covered in his own blood. Police are still trying to sort out the chaos, but they have confirmed there was no victim involved in the incident. Cameron has been charged with publicly carrying dangerous weapons. This really wasn't such a shocker for local police as Mr. Cameron has an extensive criminal record and is well-known by officers and the local judicial system. He also has a history of drug addiction. Okay, so here's a little life tip for you. If you're going to go around riding your bike while carrying an axe and covered in your own blood, the police aren't going to want to talk to you. Glyphosate, the herbicide and the active ingredient in Monsanto Co.'s popular round-up weed killer, will be added to California's list of chemicals known to cause cancer, effective July 7. But then everything is deemed cancer-causing in California. You've got to cross state lines just to get a decent meal. You know those get-out-of-jail-free cards in the Monopoly board game? They don't work in real life. The Minnesota deputy arrested a man on a felony warrant over the weekend and the suspect pulled out his Monopoly card. He went to jail, directly to jail. He did not pass go and he did not collect $200. Oh yeah, and that Monopoly money? That's not going to help you with bail, either, Uncle Pennybags. Never miss a single episode of The Daily Dose of Weird News. Download the free Marlar House mobile app. In the app you can find links to my Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. Watch other Marlar House YouTube videos. Sign up for the Marlar Sheet newsletter to automatically be registered for giveaways. Purchase Daily Dose of Weird News t-shirts or mugs. Download audiobooks if narrated. See my latest blog posts and more. The Marlar House mobile app is free for iOS and Android users. Download it now by clicking the mobile app tab at DailyDoseOfWeirdNews.com or search for Marlar House in your phone app store. If you liked this video, please give it a thumbs up and be sure to subscribe if you want to see more. And click that little bell icon next to the subscribe button to be notified when I post new videos. And if you're already an official weirdo, please share this video on your own social media. You can find even more weird news that I didn't have time for on the Facebook page at DailyDoseOfWeirdNews.com. I'm Darren Marlar and now as a public service to the entire Internet community, I will end the show. I'll see you next time, Weirdos. I pledge allegiance to Mr. Gorbachev, the flag of the United States of America, teared down this wall and to the republic for which it stands. I have a dream, one nation, free at last, and of God, free at last, indivisible, free at last, and justice for all.