 You had her biceps yet a firm grip around her biceps and when you stood up, that is why they came straight off the bone Biceps is the are we rolling. Sorry. I don't want to talk about that anymore, but that was all you you did that Anyway, let's begin the podcast Biceps welcome to episode number 20. This is This is Woody and Clowney Coming at you straight out a rock Hampton as this halfway point everyone so fucking relax You can sit down now. We're halfway through this season. We got 20 more of these fucking things Just doing some self-talk. He's trying to convince himself to relax because um Look, he's had quite a large amount of weed. So have you? Oh Man But um last week from some crazy shit some crazy shit went down, didn't it? We've fucking been filming some this is just not even a purpose plug I was just reminded of this. We've just been filming some fucked up website videos So fun and it's fucking fun and like yeah, by the way, this is sponsored by the our website University of Michael has some fucking crazy shit that's gonna come out We had a first-to-laugh losers competition that we filmed last week and he got fucking out of control Like I got a new haircut now like I don't want to give too much away, but Jesus Michael did things that no one should ever Know you no one should see no one no one like like I feel I'm ashamed But it's also just so in awe. It's pretty impressive. Yeah, it's like whoa his next level sick Yeah, we can't let's not tell him that's not telling what I did that's what you get That's you're gonna get run you got a pay you wouldn't get on a you just sign up 14 days for free free. Did you clean the wall? Not really. Yeah, I had a bit of a go, but you get caught like I don't really have disinfectant in the house Don't give it away. I got scared. I had like I was really high the other night And I got like paranoid because of all the glass that's in my foot Walking around and I was gonna have a feces infection Fucking got in my own head literally thought I was gonna get like gangrene Yeah, I was like so high I was like fuck I'm gonna get at the hospital Bullshit really no, I just got it Me to be like fucking hell man. You really get stressed out. I can't if I get too high. I just go Into a void of Fucking anxiety. Wow. That's yeah, it's hot. It sounds horrible. Anyway. Yeah, I shout on the ground Basically everyone to make me laugh, but yeah, anyway, you got you got to watch the episode It's not on the website. Yeah, but it will be in the coming weeks. All right, Matthew Brown Gregory Gregory Gregory Matthew Gregory fucking brown. He's a comeback this week and he came in extra early To try and redeem himself from And again, so so sorry everyone that you guys had to hear that fucking piece of shit that he come up with last week What did what was it? I can't remember it was like it was it was no effort Like, you know what I mean and like we were furious with your last day We were a bit crossed with you. Yeah days after like I keyed his car. I was like, yeah Yeah through bricks at your mom's house like I haven't even told you that but I did that You hate her. Yeah So he's coming a bit earlier and he's come up with these Well risen and what I must say well researched Matthew you have redeemed yourself very Well, we said stand up man stand up mate. Yeah, thanks. Come on Stand up there. He's actually standing. You are so good right now, dude. You're a fucking hero on this day In 1964 Neil Armstrong developed a way to communicate with the moon over the next few years He even developed a relationship with the moon and was often spotted at night staring up at the sky and wanking during full moons Years later when he landed on the moon He bent the moon over earth and started slamming the fucking thing from behind Which caused hundreds of tidal waves back on earth because the moon affects the tide or some shit Dude, I love it when you said spotted Spotted spotted spotted spotted spotted Spot the dog. Yeah. Yeah, I loved his books man. He was like So he was popular. I thought I was the only one knew about it that author man Informus my childhood like deep man Like he doesn't even know shout out to the spot the dog author man because you fucking pulled me out of some holes some emotional holes Let me tell you what about it. Was it spotty or spot spot? Okay spot the dog. There you go I like the way you said spotted and that's fucking insane how the fuck He fucked the moon like And like earth would have been just the water would have been gone like this All over earth because he's fucking the moon. He's got the moon bent over earth Very like sickening very evil man by the sounds of it. Wow Anyone out there knows Neil Armstrong. He's an evil evil man. Okay. I don't want you to go near him There's a power to do this something like that to something so big I'll just imagine what he could do to you and your family. So please stay away From Neil Armstrong everyone to spread the word. I'm not joking. I like tell everyone What if it throw shit at him like judge duty or what no just I just People need to know so no one goes near him. Okay. No one stay away from him. Don't even look at him He's very very dangerous Matthew Brown On this day in 2003 Robin Williams was seen walking down Hollywood Boulevard repeatedly saying Robin Williams It was reported that before long there was at least 50 Robin Williams's all walking together and chanting Robin Williams They were told to move on by law enforcement when the chance became too loud and aggressive It is not known what happened to the other 49 Robin Williams's But scientists think that they could be hiding in your closet Waiting for you to fall asleep so that they can peel your skin off with a potato peeler Or gently whispering Robin Williams Oh Robin Williams That's a deep dark one that one and that's really gonna Like imagine hearing that now. I loved Robin Williams, but now imagine hearing that You'd always be thinking is that him is that one of hymns How the fuck how do you know so many of him? We should do that We're gonna peel my fucking skin off a potato peeler very specific very specific journalism Matthew That's what we wanted. Hey, it was all we fucking wanted that is fucking specific down to the teeth down to the teeth of the beast On this day in 1997 Lady Gaga revealed her most controversial costume yet at a music event in LA She became pregnant nine months earlier and timed it so that she was in labor for the event And had half of an actual baby hanging out of her while she dressed as a big red goose She called the costume the big red goose with a baby hanging out of it Lady Gaga's commitment to costumery is impressive. I will say that I will say that That's on record me saying that isn't that right? That's on the records She was fucking crazy with her shit, but that doesn't surprise fashion I don't remember seeing no one in the papers, but like I'm I'm definitely going to google that after and you all should Google Lady Gaga Big red goose with a baby hanging out of it might give it inspiration on this day in 1978 John Travolta was addicted to massaging He was being massaged 24 hours around the clock Even while he slept and would start throwing wild haymakers if there was ever a pause in his massages At his most addicted he had 15 masseuses hired to massage him full time and even Bit a nose off of one of his masseuses when she fell asleep during an 18 hour massage shift John Travolta's addiction came to an end when he started fucking planes Wow, he's got his pilot license. Yeah. Yeah, I know so that must have been the change. Holy shit What do you think of John Travolta? Yeah, he's a very like crazy by the sounds of it. He was addicted to massaging like oh, they're good But I can't it'd feel like it'd get annoying after a while. Why did you go over there? No one could see me they might have seen me for a second. Why did you go over? No, don't do that Michael always takes the podcast equipment Which is Matthew's for our twitch streaming after this and he just takes it and without any regard for Matthew's feelings And then I'll say please Michael. Please go and put them back after and he'll say no Well, it's only podcast It's only those twitch streaming is what I want to do says shit like that. It's really like Isn't it have been upsetting Matthew? Yeah, our relationships on the down. Yeah, it's like really it'll come back taking a nasty turn But they always work it out Like Michael just buys something nice or like some big gesture And then Matthew Brown will be um, we'll be friends again Yeah, they love yeah I feel too happy Oh, shit They're fully trying to create a rivalry between Because of fucking twitch and twitch and podcast battles Oh, man. All right. Next fucking segment has been Oh That hurt and it's a segment where um, you guys just sending questions And we just answer them on the on the fucking this is a fucking we answer fucking questions here. Can't I'm feeling it. I'm feeling it in. Oh I'm feeling it in I'm feeling it in You're like a flaccid dick trying to force it in the vagina with your head. I'm feeling it in Imagine saying that to a girl. I'm I'm I'm feeling it in Even feeling I'm feeling it in is even fucked Whoa, I'm feeling it in Okay, that's ridiculous I'm feeling it in this one's from messy dot world wide. Oh, no, that sounds like a fucking name already Are we here? Oh my god That is a good Yeah question. Hard to tell. Yeah, that is that is the question that is the question That is like you've just asked the question to the questions who are always questioning the question Do you know what I mean? It is like a question mark. Yeah, you know, and that's what we are in a way. We are questions So, I hope we've answered that for you. Yeah, that's a hard one, but I really like that That's very very mystical. Yeah Seth Underscore Hansel 524 A used plan and on making another magpie video Yeah, we want to but um Like every time we do it. It's all we always get all these animal people like You know having a girl with us because it's like stresses the bird out and also um facebook and youtube all that shit's instantly demonetized now Yeah, so like probably not Probably not unless like we come up with a good science experiment for it. Yeah, but like yes It's just a good idea to stay away from animals in videos because you never fuck you can't ever win remember the b video as well Yeah, people fucking blow up about that everyone gets a bit sad We got stung like 50 bees and then we're like, oh you killed 50 bees even though we're promoting a b farm trying to like Help it to get some sales which we did but anyway. Yeah Should we cut that? No that must stay okay That's the palette cleanser Andrew It says active now so I can't see his actual tag so it's just Andrew That was his question Andrew exclamation mark Can you fire Matthew Gregory Brown from hossam because if he's Appealing efforts, I think he means appalling On the fourth fact last episode. I have also contacted him directly about this issue. Yeah, I know yeah Andrew we know, okay He's where he was severely reprimanded after last last week's episode I'm telling him grabbing him and trying to really get our fingers into his flesh So yeah, we really made him uncomfortable there for a good four or five hours And uh, you know, he's redeemed himself tonight. He has so I'm fucking Fucking, you know, we'll put our fucking issues to the side now boys and we'll fucking move forward. There's one unit There's one fucking strong unit boys We're fucking a team can't ain't nothing come between us It looks so cute. All right. I he he I he When it comes to life, how many is worse? When it comes to life Is worse Fucking hell, that's a deep deep Mathematical question. Fuck think about it. Imagine if you got if life was You fucking what's it called reincarnation? Imagine if you were reincarnated every time but you had like 100 fly lives Oh, yeah So how many lives are worse? Come on, dude. Give us something. I need something out of your mouth Bitcoin I want to hear it. I'm like that thing's bitcoin. I want to hear you say a word. Can you just say a word for me? Google ag oh That's so different to gulag. Oh, he's trying to be cheeky and mixed it up a bit spicy Anyway, the boys are twitching tonight. Make sure you get on it. Yeah. Whoa. He sounds hot He sounds hot. Did you like that segue? Yeah, that was hot. Okay Sarah Kate irons What was the thing marty put on michael's arse in the website? So I guess they're talking about yeah cigarette So if you sign up to the website you get to watch that you get to watch me put a cigarette out on his arse You were a foul mom. Yeah. Yeah, I called a deep bitch. I was a deep sea bitch Oh Fucking deep diving bitch Oh, look clang clang We're just filming the podcast clang clang Oh, what is that? He wants to hear it again Again tell him again Yes, sing it to him We gotta go dude Cut that Connor Was that not a good map? It's pretty good. I don't know that's a normal phone call Yeah, that's just I think we should let them see what our fucking phone calls like without friends We've got to leave it all in who was that? Locky. Oh, okay. If I xxx I If I xxx one I need glasses Yeah, I can't fucking see. You're right. You probably do need fucking glasses. Can you guys make tennis ball destruction part two? Um, yeah, we can't okay. We will done. Yeah, we're gonna do a lot of the old live streams. I reckon we Even It's gonna be so painful. But yeah, we will The as the squash ball would be the squash ball. We are gonna be like fucking so bruised up It was so horrifically painful the squash balls remember the the slingshot the marble slingshots. Yeah, they were quite They took some chunks off didn't they? Oh, I don't want to do it again Thinking about it. Maybe not. Maybe we won't do these videos. We're older and softer Tennis ball one memories of our friend James throwing fruit at you I come in what maybe oranges or something and I remember Marty getting hit in the face And it was like he was rocked in a boxing match and walked off around the corner Because yeah, that's right. He was badly hurt. Oh man. Those oranges fucked us up Oranges sucked together with it. So apples are way better because they just disintegrate But the oranges just fucking stay whole and they just dig in and such a deep bruising I don't ever want to do that again. Oh, I don't think we can we might we'll try I don't fucking help We'll do it. We'll do it all in one day All right, this is Alec Kavagino When the fuck are you or Matt or Bosley starting an only fans When we have decided we've discussed it as a as a three And there's a four with Bosley But no, we have decided not to start an only fans yet Didn't we say don't you know, we did say never say never and Matt had your shirt off So things got kind of hot and heated It was after his reprimand at the end of last episode. Yeah, he was all sweaty And he was being a little like sultry and sexy and Twisting his body in ways that I've never seen before Like a python coiled up Oh my god, dude, you're so cute All right, oh man. Here we go. This one's from Andre with three Andre the giant When he's gonna do vlogs and why is Matthew brown from statician research not in the podcast He is No, I I am in the podcast. I just produced from behind the camera. Yeah, he twists his body But I got my own little microphone. Yeah, we got three mics now. We're growing up I'm we got three big pretty lights facing us like Jesus. We're really going all out We got a green screen fucking hell. Well, this is like a proper podcast now Isn't it put it there, man? Champion So good Oh Okay, I gotta focus on the thing trying to get through at least two more questions Shit, okay, okay, this is my fucking Oh, I can't pronounce your name I have nah If you guys could change your name, what would we change our name to? Um, I think I think I would go with um a crisp but elegant my client My client my client my client. It's powerful a bit effective. I'd have to go with clele Oh, you already have become clele is one of our faves or clang clang or clele. Yeah, so those would be our names Oh Do your best. That's what I wanted. I thought of it. This is what I wanted to talk about at the start now God do it You have to do your best clean clean clean in in song You know the I'll try first Okay, here we go Yeah, I reckon you've got it. I like that That was fucking really good Okay Oh John j underscore damn 34 All right, Marty Would you start your own dairy farm and have you guys reached the pinnacle of science and being the best? Uh, there is no pinnacle to being the best and you can always get great. I can always peak the peak So that you will never you'll die. It's infinite. You'll die peak and like you've had six caps It's like just bigger than the universe. Yeah, and that's then even then you can double it. Fuck it Yeah, you can double that then after that probably wow. Fuck it. I'll do it again thrice the double Boom now. We're at a circle now. We're at a circle and everything starts again. And here we are Holy shit dairy farm. Would you have no? Yeah, you wouldn't be able to that's what all of that means Whoa, look at boss. He's looking hard dude. He's such a sore god This wants to go home so we can sleep on my bed Because he's had he's tired because he's been taken out For those wondering why we're screaming oh my god brown randomly just aims this Toy gun at us and it has one bullet in it. We can see it. Oh my god That was my eye That was his eye man. So like you've just gone and cost the studio 15 dollars Okay land in scoffield What's your favorite series? On what we do so like rock roll out or whatever. I like the fucking what's the science experiments? Yeah, it's it's the science you're changing the world with it Yeah, then you know some of the pranks are fucking definitely hilarious not not fun for me most of the time But you know the little pranky fucking compilation ones aren't our favorite Murphy's law. I like that vid. I watched that for the like first time in ages Check that vid out. No, not Murphy's law. Don't watch that one Who's fucking no, he's gravity real his first force. Oh, yeah, yeah force first force pretty good. All right Miko Hey All right, that's it. I'm pretty sure fucking out All right next next segment and it has been renamed Yeah This is a segment where we just open shit that you guys have sent to our po box Which is Written here a po box if you want to send us something we will open it on the podcast Okay, you want to send us a your dick? You want to see your dick on the podcast? We want us to see your dick in a box Oh, it's this planting seeds. That's why we asked for shit and we got you snip it off Snip off your dick and and fucking post it to us And we'll fucking open it here live But you'll see it and we'll definitely post it if you send us your I promise you Even just a bit even if it's a little bit of your dick even if it ruins our career Even if this ruins our career Snip your dick off and send it to us Do you reckon someone would no don't snip your dick conna if that if that sounds too convincing cut some of that Now i'm literally fucking worried someone's gonna send us their dick. Do not everything We do not Want any dicks? I'll take a dick We don't condone your dick being cut off. So just please don't fucking do it. Okay Just a yeah four skins. All right They can sacrifice a bit of that it'll heal Oh, they're gonna we're gonna hear this getting read back to us in in court one day Oh, no, it's just jorgen. We're just jorgen guys. All right, what's the fucking what's this mean by the way? Oh, yeah, here we go. Someone has sent us a letter and it says kentucky popsicle. I'm worried that that's blood I wouldn't even touch that. Oh, fuck me period. We got fucking tampons. So you don't know it could be something Oh, fuck me So there's a bit of blood that it's sealed with which is creepy. So Who's it from? No, you don't think it's used bloody No, let's say oh, i'm scared Oh What what I think it's Oh I thought it was a bag I seriously thought that was a bag. What is it? It is lube quite hard becomes my dickie as I watch martin and mickey That's I lube up my palm Go to meatspin.com Oh And play till hand gets all sticky. That's very interesting. Well, it's something different to fucking getting hairspray in your face Thank you very much Quite hard Becomes my dickie as I watch martin and mickey. Yeah, I know that one got me too That makes me not want to touch that just that sentence Imagine people batting off Don't put that out there. Do not send us your cum No, just your digs Um, all right, well there you go. That's the fucking experience we all had I keep all the things by the way that you guys send us. Yeah, it keeps him up. He's bum. It pops him up. He's pops it It pops him right up his bum So thank you. It looks like meatspin is a shock site. So, you know crazy. Remember like rotten.com with all that shit All right, I think it's very similar to that. Well, there you go. So all right. Well, that's all right Then I guess Yeah, meatspin. There you go All right next segment Stunt time and for this week, you know Stunt time is a segment where we both very equally equally both do very very dangerous Scary thing where one of us could get really really hurt We both do the exact same amount in this segment Saying for this week, Mike is going to cut through an electrical cord. Yeah Stand up, please, man. Matt. He's going to cut through a fucking electrical cord Where is the cord? No, no, no, dude Oh, stay there. Stay there, boss Guys, that is a fucking joke that was not plugged in please We fucking pranked is all right. He's just fucking joking with his we fucking pranked you dogs Didn't we that was all a joke, okay? It was all us acting. That's not plugged in. No one ever do that. Okay. No one Okay, yeah, you're right. I'm just being paranoid. I'm just being paranoid. Can you tell the the story of your uh knife? Oh, yeah, oh Fuck it makes me sick. Oh Yeah, I was there We were in the kitchen And I was like hi or something. I was making some food and I put the cheese over the cord So I couldn't see the cord and started cutting with a fucking knife cut through the cheese and into the cord and the knife just Boom exploded out of my hand and into the sink And we looked at the knife and there's a huge chunk of steel blown out of it. Yeah Oh, man, it just like exploded like Like an explosion. It was disgusting Oh, you could have died that day. Yeah, you nearly died Oh man, that's what that's have a diet a safety switch a safety switch saved me, man A safety switch saved me, man That's such a bogey thing to say a safety switch saved my life I was cutting with some scissors Geez the giggles have returned It's like Jean your name's Jean if you laugh like that Hey Jean. Um, all right, so that was a stunt time. That's prank call time I see it was your the next segment our next segment has been renamed to This is a segment where we prank call We prank you guys send us your friends and families numbers and we prank call them and like really scare them and and Make them feel very uncomfortable. I start really nice and then I gradually get really angry Yes, that's great Someone is asking how they help you. Hey, I was just wondering if I could please um get do it just a pick up order. Thanks Yeah, what would you like? Um, so I've got a few uh pizzas coming. Sorry. There's still just people coming through the door. Um, but I'll look I'll start with a um a pepperoni. Thanks on um, what are the bases again? Sorry Uh classic deep and thin. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Um, I'll go classic. Thanks. Thanks so much And um and look my my partner's going to have um a meet lovers Yeah, and and that is also on the on the classic. Was it you said? Yeah, yeah, I thought so. Yeah, just on the classic. Thank you Uh, no, sorry, there's a few more people just coming through. Um, so I'll also get a um a ham and pineapple Yeah Um, and um, I'll have that on the on the on the whatever you said the the classic Yeah, yeah and um Do you guys have like isn't there some sort of deal or something? Surely you guys have a deal ordering This many pizzas There's three pizzas a garlic bread and a drink for 24 95. I thought so. Yeah, okay Yeah, look, I'll get I'll get one of those deals. Thanks to the whatever the one with the garlic bread or whatever Yeah, so let me just put that through for you. Okay Um, and then there's a few more pizzas as well. There's a few more coming God, um, I want another two meat lovers. All right two meat lovers on the classic again barbecue meat lovers And one of a massive pepperoni Don't you guys have those like new york slice size? You know, there's massive ones I've wanted like the massive pepperoni ones. God No, no, I want drinks. Okay. I want like seven. Give me seven fucking One liter and 2.5 whatever the fucking shit is. All right. You know what? I'm sick of this I'm sick of this conversation Oh I'm not to laugh at the edge. You would have been so good. Oh my god Fuck we should call back and apologize Really? Fucking bipolar It's so nice for the start And then just switch instantly the voice changed as well. Yeah, I made my voice a bit deeper on purpose So I was like I've turned from a woman to a man and she doesn't fucking say anything Oh, I feel so sorry. Shout out to the dominoes girl. Yeah, I'm so sorry But I always feel so terrible after but like it's for you know, it's someone's slight Bit of pain is making hopefully a few people laugh. So, yeah, and it's like maybe she enjoyed it. Yeah. Yeah, let's go with that. She would have loved that Yeah, you're right. Fuck you guys But one thing's for certain We are the best I was fucking sparks came up at the end. I think they're actually make that happen. Please Yeah, we have fireworks going off in the background fireworks and like big shit Big spray shit