 I just realised I need my phone. My hair's nice and short and I love it. Did I clap? I'm gonna use them on microphones connected to my camera. My hair's nice and short and I love it. Did I clap? I'm gonna use them on microphones connected to my camera. Hey what's up you guys, welcome back to my channel. If you're new here, hi, hello, my name's Lydia and I make mental health videos pretty much every day. I do other subject videos but my primary focus on this channel is mental health. Today I'm doing a tag and it was a tag sent to me by the wonderful Louise, LuluBee before if you don't know. Her channel is linked in the description down below. She made my end card for me. She's an amazing YouTuber. She's Scottish. So today we are doing the BPD tag. And anyone doesn't know, I have BPD, I do tag videos. So let's jump into this. When did you first learn what BPD was? Right. So here's a fun fact. The first thing by polar disorder was BPD. I thought that's what the abbreviation was for. I didn't know it was a separate condition when I was younger. I was like 12 or 13 when that so please don't... And no one in the character makes my family don't talk about mental health. What BPD was? Around the time I was diagnosed, I knew of it before then because I studied health and social care now for a long time. Currently doing a level 3 counselling course as well which I'm excited about. I'm starting that in January, which is exciting. So I found out in what? 2014? 2015? When did you get diagnosed? I got diagnosed when I was 17. Just about to turn 18. I got diagnosed the year before I went to uni. So that was interesting because I have so many stories that I could tell about college. It's unbelievable. I'm going to start telling them slowly and stepping back into the story time world because it was when I was around 18. So it's been nearly 5 years now. Did you have any other mental health issues? Yes. Which is one symptom you struggle with the most. A symptom I struggle with the most has to be the self-destructive patterns. When I say that I mean self-harm and suicide. Are you in therapy or on medication? I take medication and I'm not currently in therapy. But I have tried therapy. I have done DBT. How do your loved ones react to your BPD? Not great. They don't understand it very well and they don't listen to me when I try to explain it. The best example would be two years ago. I tried to kill myself and I didn't reach out for help. My mom found out about it through the hospital and said if you wanted to talk to me you could have just text me that you need to try and kill yourself or I didn't try and kill myself because I wanted to talk to you. I tried to kill myself because I wanted to be dead. BPD or EUPD? BPD. Please don't use EUPD with me. Oh my God. I don't like being called emotionally unstable. No, I prefer being called DBT. Describe yourself slash your identity in three words. Tragic, dysfunctional, random. What emotion is the most difficult to handle for you? Happiness. That sounds really backwards. I can manage my depression a lot better than I can manage when I am frigging running around doing everything that I just can't keep up with myself sometimes. Do you know anyone else that has been in real life with this disorder? Our best advice is to just be yourself. Here's a tag video for you. The BPD tag. Let's get it moving and break the stigma. That's the worst and weirdest outro I've ever done. I'm never doing that again. Oh my God. I don't know how to. Wait, actually. Ow, that's hot. Don't hold lava lamps.