 Welcome to how do I identify if he's right for you? I'm Matthew coast and with me today is Joe Amoya from GPS for love calm And Joe is Joe's an expert in helping women identify Emotionally unavailable men how to find men who are ready for a relationship and how to create a healthy relationship with them Once you've found those those types of men that you're looking for So thanks for being with me today, Joe. Thank you for having me mad. It's an honor and privilege to be here with you Awesome. So just to get started. Can you tell us a little bit about why? You started helping women. What what what got you started in this? Okay, so because we're limited on time I'll give you the cliff note version basically I My occupation was a chiropractor. I went to school and I practiced chiropractic for about 20 years and Struggled in my love life and ultimately got engaged to a woman who was completely wrong for me Was literally 28 days away from getting married and we both realized we were making a huge mistake We pulled the plug and I did a lot of work on myself to say, you know, what happened I thought I was a smart intelligent guy yet. I was in a relationship where I was absolutely miserable And yet I was still willing to marry that person So as a result of doing that inner work and getting to the truth I realized that and there was a huge hole in my life There was a huge void my dad died when I was 15 years old had a great relationship with my dad And ultimately what I was trying to do is create a family of my own and quite honestly She was the meal ticket so realize that you know what that relationship sucked I never wanted another unhappy and unfulfilling relation. I didn't care if I had to be single never had a son of my own I never wanted to be in another crappy relationship So then I started asking myself some questions Well, what is it that I need because in that relationship I did everything to make her happy and make the relationship work And I was miserable so as a result of that I created something I called a checklist for love and got clear on what were those important qualities and characteristics that I needed from a potential Mate once I define those and I simply started dating and really would literally screen people to say are you this person? Do you have what I need? You know didn't go for the chemistry that I used to go for and you know the hot factor that a lot of Us guys do I started focusing on the outside But also the the inside those intrinsic qualities and as a result I met my wife and from the get-go from day one It was just this easy natural relationship. We've now been together 16 years married 14 have not only one but three sons and it's that relationship that we all want and Altly in my journey I realized that this was my purpose in life is to help others create this because at the end of the day We're all wired to love and to be loved and so what do we need to create that relationship? We really want and and that we deserve in life. So that's kind of the clip-built version Awesome. Yeah, that's that's that's amazing and and it's great that you figured out when you did You know that that the relationship that you're in just wasn't going to work for you because I know You know, I know for myself a lot of the women in our community will contact me after being in a relationship for three five seven years with someone who just isn't isn't looking for the same things that she's looking for who just isn't compatible really and and and having a healthy relationship and She's constantly Attempting to turn this guy who she's with into mr. Right and and it's real interesting because I see a lot of information like that out on the internet where The advice is to just turn the guy that you're with into the right guy You know, don't don't go out and screen anybody make sure you know make him into fit the mold of who you want to be So so why do you think it's so important to to screen out men? What? What would this help women do? Wait a minute really I'm a simpleton I like to break things down into its simplest easiest components and to me it really comes down to do you want to be happy? You know, do you want a relationship that is easy? That you don't have to turn somebody to make him into who you you want him to be But who is naturally that person that you're looking for from the get-go and so I believe that there's one person on this earth At least one person that can naturally give you what it is you're looking for and you know You and I have spoken before and that it really is this fear that I'm never gonna find what I really want So I'm gonna have to take this guy this square peg and make him fit in the round hole Where and that's why you know the majority of people struggle in their relationships because they don't believe there's that one guy out there Or you know, they want the guy. That's really hot that makes them feel special in the bedroom But who makes them makes them miserable outside so it's really about getting clear and Focusing on finding that one guy and I believe and I've learned is that when you operate from that place and you're not afraid And you're willing to give up the good to go for the great that the universe kind of takes care of the detail And that guy will show up. However, he's meant to show up in your life Yeah, so one of the big concerns that I get from a lot of women is that is that they really don't think that there's there's a great guy out there for him and and that every man that they meet is a commitment foe or or that Ever you know when he when he says something to her like he wants to be with her and gets really excited and and you know Talks about marriage and then all of a sudden he disappears on her Are men really all commitment foes? Well first of all what we need to do is we need to differentiate because I believe that there's a difference between men and boys So the way I explain that is boys are the ones I have three boys, you know They're 11 9 and 7 and you know they want what they want what they want when they want it That's kind of what boys do and ultimately there's a maturation process and it's my job as their father to teach them That's not how it worked that your choices and decisions ultimately affect other people So there's some guys who never get the message and they live the rest of their life that way You know it's all about what they want on their terms and a lot of these guys quite simply You know you're a guy are just looking to get late and so those are the kind of guys They could be amazing the chemistry can be awesome. They could be great lovers not the best relationship partners So you got to realize if you want to have some fun go ahead and knock yourself out But if you think you're going to turn one of those guys into a relationship material You're wasting your time and I know a lot of people listen to this and you have been there done that So you got to start off with that and then differentiate that they're also men who get those are the guys who? Emotionally available who are responsible who are unselfish who know how to be good relationship partners And who are willing to do so so you've got to be able to quite quickly be able to differentiate Look and at this stage of the game every woman should know that a guy is going to some guys the boys They're going to tell you what you want to hear and they might even think that their relationship material But ultimately their actions are going to show you that they're not so the beauty of life in screening You just have to sit back and allow them to show you one of the biggest mistakes women make is they jump into relationships and They get involved with these guys who say and do all the right things in the beginning And then as you say they disappear and the women like you know What the hell he said all the right things in the beginning. Yes, just because he said it doesn't mean he's going to live up to it So how does how does a woman know that a guy is looking for a relationship? And what what's what is it that tells her that that this guy might actually be worth Pursuing or or allowing him to pursue her The biggest thing and again to make it real simple is a guy shows you that having a relationship as a priority to him So when I met my wife, I didn't play games. I incorporate her in all aspects of my life You know if I went out with friends, you know, I invited her to go out to friends If I had a family function I invited her to a family function if I wanted to be with her I called her and I showed up and I took her out again and again I didn't call her every three months I didn't call her only when it was convenient for me and I had an opening in my schedule I moved my schedule around because I wanted to be with her because being with her was important to me So when a guy is looking for a relationship and here's to here's the key for it He's going to consistently show you by his actions Not just his words, but by his actions that being in a relationship is a priority and is important to him Okay, so is there a timeframe that women should Wait in order before they end up getting physically intimate with a guy. What what? You know, how can a woman kind of protect herself? Sure, and it's a great question and I say there you know the time frame as far as five dates five weeks two months six months That's really an individual decision that each woman has to make but always when I work with my clients what I teach them is that You know because when you create your list like okay What are the things that I need is this guy consistently showing up and giving me all those other important things and once you see that he's Giving you those other things and that he's showing you consistently by his actions that it's a priority to be with you Then give up the goods because part of the challenge is you give up the goods in the beginning and the oxytocin and the estrogen And all the hormones kick in you tend to miss the other red flags And you tend to ignore them because you don't want to see them You don't want to accept the fact that he's a good guy, but not the right guy And so it's you've got to really go in with some trepidation as far as saying you know I'm gonna go there, but I got to make sure that's the last place I go and kind of save that you know for a guy Who's really earned that right you know one of the biggest things I see with women all the time Is they give that privilege to a guy and then the guy takes advantage of it and then they get pissed off It's like well You know you got him kind of make him earn it not to play games because I'm not an advocate of for that at all but just showing up they're saying look I'm looking for a relationship and I'm looking for a guy that wants me for Something else other than what's in my pants and so a guy who's looking for that will show you consistently It's he looks it as an investment that he doesn't mind investing a little time Altly if he knows it's gonna pay dividends down the road and he's kind of clear on what that is So when I work with women I try to say you know look let a guy know upfront look if you're looking to get late It's not gonna happen tomorrow. You know it's not gonna take three years But I've got to be comfortable I've got to be confident that we're on the same page and we want the same things out of life And once I get to that point Then we'll go there and I promise you that it'll be it'll be worth the wait and most guys who are looking for a relationship Don't have a problem with that. You know those are the men the ones who hey, you know come on. I've got needs It's all about me and you know, that's just a part of the relay those are the guys you got to be wary of Okay, so when do you have this Conversation with them is it the first date is it the you know before you sleep with them? Is it what when when should a woman have this conversation about what she's looking for and and and You know whether this guy is relationship material or not Well, I believe a woman should have that conversation as soon as she wants to you know part of the fear as well If I say that he's gonna get scared away. Well, guess what if he gets scared away He's showing you he was looking to get late So it's a matter of you don't just come on. Hey, you know my name is Mary You know, I'm not gonna sleep with you to the you know sixth week. It's it's just a natural conversation You know dating is simply an interaction between two individuals trying to get to know each other So you don't have to bring it up. Okay 45 minutes into conversation now We'll talk about it. It will just naturally emerge, you know in relation with my wife We never even spoke about it. It just happened naturally in organic organically But I knew based on the kind of person she was that she wasn't gonna give it up And nor was I looking to get in her past and I'd done that and very none of those relationship led to the result I wanted so it's like okay I'm gonna go there, but I'm gonna make sure these other things that are important that are important are there first Okay, great. So if One of the big questions that a lot of the women had when I posed this Interview with you was was where to find these men, you know Is there a specific place that a woman should go? Is there you know a magical spot that? You find all the quality men that are looking for relationships. Yes, there's there's about five acres off I 95 and in southern Florida where they all hang out No, the reality is is they're all over You know just like they're good women good women all over and so and that's why I kind of alluded to earlier It's when you're out there. You're living your life and you're just being you you will attract that guy into your life There's something called and I'm not a big fan of it because it's a lot of woo-woo stuff the law of attraction You know like put up your vision board say your affirmations and the guy's magic gonna show up in your backyard I don't believe in that at all. I believe in who you're being energetically and how you're living your life and By putting yourself out there will put you in position to find that guy I mean everybody knows I mean I I've got friends and family that have met their spouses in Multitudes away from bowling to the beach to on a bus to in a park in New York City from dates to online dating You know blind dates, so that's the beauty of life is that you don't have to go Where do I go? Just sit back live your life and if you're being energetically who you need to be the universe will kind of fill in the details great, so Um What about online dating is there you know? I have a Sometimes I get women that will come to me and they'll say that you know they met this guy and they she thought he was great and and they had this great conversation together and and then He he disappeared on her is there a you know and many times It'll be like off a craigslist or off a pof.com or match calm is there is there a good place to go online Yeah, first of all, I'm a huge fan of online dating Primarily because that's how I met my wife now if you would have told me that 17 years ago I would have met the love of my life online I would have laughed at you I've called you every name in the book and I would have bet everything I own against it But again, that's what I talked about just putting yourself out there and kind of universe filling in details Why I'm a huge proponent of online dating is because you get to connect with someone you get to screen them By reading their profiles by talking to them by interacting you talked about a woman who says she met a guy and he disappeared My response is great. You didn't waste a lot more of your time This guy showed you right from the get-go. He wasn't interested in a relationship. So he was a boy So that's why I love online dating another reason is that you know, I say you pay for what you get You know if a lot of these people who are on free sites, you know, you call plenty of fish I call it plenty of feces, you know, there's there's a lot of crap out there and let's be honest You know, there are a lot of guys that are emotionally unavailable who don't really care about relations and are looking for you know, Cindy Crawford, you know, who's five to 95 pounds 34 24 36 and it's just unrealistic So those guys are pretty obvious. So if a guy's not willing to invest, you know, 25 30 bucks to find the love of his life and For a relationship. What does that say about where he's at? So, you know, the old mantra you pay for what you get. I'm a big proponent of Paid sites that being said the best sites to me are the ones where a person actually writes their profile Because they you know profiles like a written advertisement and You know ladies who are doing advertisement pay attention because if you say the same thing that everybody's saying I love the beach I'm a good person. I have a big heart. I love my dog guys are like who cares You know a guy is reading a profile going are you the kind of woman that I'm looking for? And so you want to write about those things that make you unique and that make you stand out from the rest So a well-written profile works wonders and what I find people who say I hate online dating It doesn't work just really aren't good at it because they just don't know because everybody nobody ever showed them Or taught them how to do it right. It's like going to a gym. You can go to a gym That doesn't mean you're gonna get in shape. You've got to go and utilize the equipment properly and have the knowledge and the skills to put Yourself in position to succeed Great. So so what should a woman look for when she's Searching for a guy on an online dating site. Is it you know that you have the typical stuff? Which is the you know how tall he is and how much money he makes and you know all the different like Matching algorithms and stuff. What do you think about that stuff, right? So first of all, I don't want an algorithm picking my mate and I hope anybody else wouldn't want an algorithm picking theirs So it's a matter. Are you the person that I need that's gonna make me happy? So you know the first thing is the premise of understanding, okay? This all sounds wonderful Is this really you because again? We all paint a wonderful wonderful picture that we've all got it together that we've got no baggage And that we're emotionally available and we these we're these great relationship creatures when the reality is it's really not true So going off with the premise that okay, you look nice Okay Now do you seem to be the kind of person that I'm looking for and I think that's why having that checklist is real important When I was looking for my wife. I knew what I was looking for so as I read her profile like hmm Seems that she seems like the kind of girl that I was looking for now. Did that mean she was hell? No, she could have been you know a lunatic for all I know But as I talked to her as I engaged her as I dated her the more I went out with her the more I saw that she was the kind of person that I was looking for so online dating is simply a forum to meet men and That's how you have to look at it. Okay. This is a great way of it You know of getting an introduction you can really meet somebody today You know with smartphones you could be on a bus and you could interact and find someone But that's simply the introduction now. You've got to go screen. You've got to do the like work You've got to ask the questions in a way So that you can differentiate is it the kind of guy that you're looking for and that's what dating is for Dating is simply a process to get to know someone to see if you want to have a relationship with them Well and a lot of a lot of the men who email The women in our community at least Tend to use these like cookie cutter Emails and and they don't really say anything about themselves and many times even when one of the women replies back He won't reply back to her again. Do you have any tips for how to you know get this? Get a guy's interest or or get a conversation starting right? Well again that the first thing is to differentiate if these guys are using cookie cutter responses Okay, they're not responding when you say back. They're showing you that they're either boys or They're guys who aren't serious about having a relationship with you So one of the best ways is to engage a guy is to find something because remember a lot of people are doing this online Dating thing and most of them are doing it wrong It's high you know wink at this and wink at that and you know check this out or call me and As you say, it's just something they cotton pick cotton paste and send to everybody Where you want someone who takes the time to not only look at your picture? Let's be honest. That's what's going to attract them first, but then looks at your profile and says hmm It's interesting. I want to know more about you. So it works both ways of just starting to pick something of common interest Where you say hey, you know I see that you know you like Bon Jovi and you know what I'm a huge Bon Jovi fan What's your favorite album and now you're starting a conversation and now the guy will come back Oh, well, I like you know Slippery when wet and he starts talking about the oh, I do too. What's my what's your favorite? And then you just start going back and forth. You have a natural dialogue And it's opened up and so it works to a guy who's interested will do the same thing He'll ask you questions as if he's interested in getting to know you you know a lot of times What happens is oh, you know, you're so beautiful. You're what are you doing? Why are you still single and it's like come on really, you know, that's your opening line You're saying that to everybody what makes me so and not saying you're not attractive But if that's what a guy's starting off with he's showing you the focus is on the external Where you want someone who says who doesn't address that because he's gonna be if he's interested in you You would hope he's attracted to you So now is he interested in you as the whole person and does he engage you and want to know does he ask you questions? Or is it all about him? It's like, okay. Well check my stuff out. You contact me. It's not how it works so What what about? Guys who are who are just What are some telltale signs that a woman might have that that a guy just isn't what she's looking for is it? You know is it the way that he? Is it what he says it is it how he acts? You know what what what could give a woman a clue that that this guy just just isn't what she's looking for Well get Matt. This is where getting clear on what a specific woman is looking for will help her understand that This guy isn't first. So for instance one of the women I'm working for she's very into health Okay, she's you know, she's impeccable with her diet She's impeccable with her with her fitness routine And it's not that she's picky where she won't take a guy who's a little overweight But she just wants someone who shares the same lifestyle who values the same thing that she wants So if she's talking to him and the guy doesn't exercise and the guy has no interest in the guy lives and eat some McDonald's every day Well, she sees that you know what they're incompatible. I've worked with other women who you know Having a family is very important to them So if they talk to someone and he's got a poor relationship with his family or he can't stand this family member And he's saying well I don't know if I want to get married and she's clear that she wants to get married It's a waste of time, you know at this stage of the game a guy should know if he wants to get married if he wants to have a family And so this is where a woman has to be clear on You know, this is what's important to me and if we're not on the same page I'm not going to try and you know manipulate you and trick you into being who I want you to be I'm gonna be honest with myself and move on to find that guy who naturally is on the same page So you don't think that Maybe after a while a guy might Feel like he loves her so much that he'll change his mind about marriage or kids or one of those topics I didn't say that what I said is that if you want to roll the dice You can But it's a very risky proposition Because people are who they are and if you understand human behavior when a guy says something it's usually true So I say it's kind of like you can run across the highway without looking and There might be one person who gets across but for everyone who gets across 999 get smashed So I'm a big believer and just go find the person who naturally Gives you and who naturally is on the same page from the get-go. It's just a lot. It's just a lot easier journey What about women who attract all the wrong kinds of men all the time? Is there a reason why why women do that? What do you think? What there's always there's reasons for everything that happens in life any time you see a pattern in life There's a reason you know if you have rats showing up in your house. There's a reason why and So if you attract certain types of guys There's a reason why and that's where a woman has to really do I call it mirror time is really take a good Look at herself and go what's going on? Why am I attracting these guys who? You know we call the bad boy syndrome, you know, there are these great guys They say all the right thing the chemistry is amazing, but then they're douchebags You know there's reasons why and that's where a person has to really like get honest with themselves and get real You know part of the challenge and I see it a lot of time in our community We've got all men this or all men that I said until you've dated every man man on the planet You cannot use that statement Okay. Yes. Are there a lot of boys out there? Hell. Yeah, you know you're a guy on this planet You know all the tricks that men use you know, you're a good-looking dude I'm sure you've you know you've had your way back in the day But also you get to the point where you're like hey, you know what there's a difference between these men and the boys And so now let me let me find guys who naturally from the beginning show up and Show me that they're interested in having a relationship with me and they're interested in being with me And they're interested in being faithful and committed to me Those are the kind of guys that you invest there So how about when a woman goes out and she's looking to meet men Should she just wait for men to approach her? Should she approach men? How do you think this interaction should look Well again Matt a lot of this what the work that I do is helping a person get real with themselves You know it depends on your personality if you're a person who's more shy and more reserved and you know Initiating contact with the guy is going to make you break out in hives You know, I'm not a big fan of that. So go find something else that will put you in position to meet and attract Decent guys. However, if you're a woman who doesn't mind initiating a conversation Then simply go up to a guy and just engage him in a conversation You know ask him about you know, if you're at a sporting event, you know, ask him about the teams He's watching, you know, if you're out at the beach, you know, and you see him right reading a book Ask him about the book he's reading, you know Part of this thing with men and women is they were so afraid of simply having a conversation With another human being and you have to look at a man is simply another human being And so if you and there are a lot of guys out there who can be intimidated, you know Just women don't understand there are a lot of guys who are afraid of rejection as well You know, I wasn't the kind of guy to walk up to a grocery woman in a supermarket crash my car into her and start a conversation That just wasn't me But if I was at a barbecue or I was at an event there was another woman there that I found attractive I'd have no problem Engaging her in conversation and then if it went well asking for her number at the end So you really have and this is part of the problem with a lot of the you know Quote-unquote experts out there where you talk about manipulating do this to say that it's like who are you? What works for you? You know, the only rules are the rules that work for you. So you've got to find What are the rules that you're comfortable with and that will help you get the result you want? Yeah, you're absolutely right and one of the things that That I've noticed a lot is a lot of women kind of tend to think that men are like these Just confidence machines, you know, like they're just out there and they see the woman they want and they just you know Go approach, you know immediately and and and I've definitely You know my background and and anybody listening to this probably knows a little bit about my background but was of I used to be a men's dating coach initially and the biggest concern that a lot of Men had was the approach because just about everybody's scared of the approach and and the only guys that I ever met that Weren't that would just you know immediately walk up. We're guys who approached all the time, you know, and so Yeah, you're absolutely right and and I think that's another reason why online dating is a great a great vehicle It's just because it it makes that interaction so much easier And and you don't have to put yourself out on the line as much and and I've noticed actually Facebook has been getting a lot of people Attracting men on Facebook as well. Do you know anything about? Facebook and and what's going on there? In what regard I mean we do Facebook my wife's a big for I don't spend a lot of time on it We don't do a lot of a lot of dating stuff on Facebook, but again, it's simply another vehicle You know, I think Facebook is a great avenue for people to connect You know, I've met a lot of people who were able to connect with old flames With people that they knew when they were younger and as a result of engaging each other It they allowed to start that process So I'm for anything and everything that's going to bring a man and woman together To allow them to then take the process from there But you know, I want to add something you talked about, you know, I said I met my wife online My wife actually reached out to me simply because I didn't even know she was out there online dating is such a numbers game And I was so distracted, you know interacting with others that I didn't even know she had a profile online And my wife is the most laid-back easy-going like that's so not her nature And I said to her I said, you know, that's so unlike you. Why did you and if she's like, you know I was at that point in my life where I had nothing to lose and So she's like, you know, I've read your profile I liked it and I figured I'd send you an email if you responded great. If not, no big deal So you've got nothing to lose by simply sending an email now once she did that I took over took over the role of the man and Pursued her and show her that I was interested in getting to know her Okay, and so Would you suggest then that because a lot of times what ends up happening is is when a woman if a woman Starts initiating things she kind of takes over that that role and starts leading the interaction and starts pushing for different dates and pushing to You know take them out here and hey, let's go there. Are you saying that a woman shouldn't do that? What I'm saying is a woman. It's kind of like this. It's like hey. I'm over here. Check me out Okay, once the guy realizes that then it's his role as the man I believe is to initiate to follow up because again if you're doing all the work you're asking him out You're making all the plans. He's kind of showing you. It's not a priority to him Where you want the guy to be the man and say, okay, look, I've got this. I'll take the lead Not because you're subservient to me, but because that's what us men do We're the pursuers and every woman loves to be pursued She loves to know that a guy's interest and you know Matt we're men We love to pursue a woman and know that she's interested in us that that's great for our egos Yeah, absolutely You know so one thing you talked about before was this this checklist for love right and and whenever I talk to a woman about What it is that she's looking for in a man. I'll either get one of two things I either get this long shopping list of Every single trait and aspect that a man could possibly have that she wants and she's you know very stuck and rigid on that Or I'll get that she hasn't really thought about it. Um, so so are you think are you saying that these? this checklist that you know what's What's something that a woman would look for is this you know should she just take that list that she has of everything she wants and and Go up to every man and she meets and you know check one thing off at a time Right see and again, that's great question because you need to differentiate because the magic word is one There's a lot of things that we want But a one is simply a preference So the way I look at it in this process I think my clients do is that it's cool that you want that but what is it that you need if you're gonna spend the Rest of your life with someone what are those important qualities and characteristics that you absolutely positively must have and if you Don't have them you'll never be truly happy and fulfilled So it's what I call the essential needs so the items that ultimately wind up on the checklist And that's really different for each individual or called essential needs So you've got to learn to hopefully define that and from my experience most individuals have anywhere from 7 to 12 Essential needs so once you identify now the process is easy because now you date and go okay Do you have these things? Can you give me these things that I need and either does or he doesn't but it's not you know I totally get what you're saying is I've got 362 criteria, and if he doesn't meet everyone I Can't be with them. I'm like well. You'll never find a man that does that so go buy some cats and get ready Okay, so So let's say that a woman's met this amazing man that she's looking for You know Mr. Wright and she wants to start a relationship with them one of the big concerns that I get is that a lot of women feel like relationships need to be as Just this magical easy going you know flow with thing where everything it happens perfectly And then they freak out when whenever an argument comes up You know is that a major concern? If when starting a relationship is is to make sure that there's no arguing there's no fighting There's none of that kind of stuff and and if it does come up Is it some kind of clue that that things are going to go sour? Well again Matt It's very indicative the two people in the relationship because the reality is when you get two people from two completely different backgrounds Even if they have the same morals values and goals, they're going to be things that they disagree on So it's how they communicate during those times how they resolve conflict How they do agree to disagree sometimes that hopefully will determine The state and the quality of their relationship. So I'm just a big proponent of finding someone where you're not just going like this all the time Now I know there are some people who actually enjoy that. I'm not one of those people I want someone that you know is because there's this thing called life that happens after you get each other and Life is going to throw a lot of stuff at you and if you don't have the right person By your side and you're not able to work together and to communicate that stuff that life throws at you will very often destroy your relationship So it's really important that you find the right part. It's not all pixie dust. You know, it's not all sunshine and rainbows that's unrealistic and so finding the right partner that can help you have the most enjoyable and Stress-free life as possible or relationship as possible So do you think that a woman should avoid getting into a conversation or an argument where there's an address where there's a disagreement? No, because you're gonna have disagreement again It's how you resolve those disagreements if one person is making the other person wrong Guess what? That's what gonna be doing throughout their relationship But if they say okay, well, you know, why do you feel like that? Tell me I see it differently. Tell me help me to understand why you see it the way you do Okay, that's very healthy. You're gonna be there with times in 16 years when my wife and I saw things different ways and We were able to communicate and say, okay, why do you see it this way? And it's like, well, I didn't see that You know, I agree or it's like, you know what? Maybe we'll just agree to a disagree But that doesn't mean I love you doesn't mean I don't want a relationship It's just in the big scope of things. It's not worth arguing over awesome well, um, I appreciate everything that you've had to say today Joe and I really It's really been an honor to have you here on our show. What's the best way to? Get ahold of you if if somebody wants to contact you if they want to check out your stuff if they if they want to Find out what you're all about. Sure. Well first of all Matt I want to thank you for the opportunity of being here and I want to acknowledge you for the work You're doing you know, I know us guys We got a bad rap sometimes and so the fact that you're spending your time and energy You know dedicated to helping women improve their love life and find that great relationship I you know, I want to acknowledge you for that Secondly, you know if they want to find me simply go to GPS for love calm I mean, it's really the simple easiest way just go there You know we put out blogs, you know several times a week just like you and you know Just check it out if it resonates with you great. If not, that's okay, too awesome well, thanks a lot for being on the show and Everybody I will speak with you again soon great. Thanks a lot man. I appreciate it