 I think it's often very much misrepresented in the media today. Hopefully, you'll walk away with a different understanding of what self-care is and why it matters, why it's necessary in each of our lives, and why we need to make time for it. Just to begin, the very beginning point is how stressors today differ from stressors decades and centuries ago. And there is a very drastic difference in the way that they present themselves. Now, the way that our body was designed was for self-preservation. So the maximization or the minimization of harm and the maximization of benefit. And harm really was in the form of predators and animals and about survival. And that's how we were wired to be able to protect ourselves from a fight or flight perspective. So we either confront the stressor or we flee from the stressor. And what happens is, centuries ago, the way that the world was designed was in a way that you would just flee from the threat in your environment. You wouldn't necessarily. Or you could face it, but you could also flee. But there was some type of physical response from the body. And today, the stressors drastically differ in the sense that there isn't necessarily something that you're going to flee. There isn't something that you can run away from. And not many people actually confront or face their stressors. And so stress today looks very different in the sense of relationship dynamics, the relationship you have with your spouse or if you're trying to get married or the relationship you have with your children, the relationship that you have with yourself and with your creator and with your community. And so all of these different relationship dynamics are actually add on immense stress to one's load. Also the stress of traffic. And right now, we may not necessarily be experiencing that head on. Everybody's working from home, online schooling. All of the events, such as the one today, are taking place online. And so that also plays a role in added stressors. Your work and degree deadlines and responsibilities, I really believe that these times that we live in, irrespective of the pandemic, we're being tested with ease as opposed to being tested with adversity. Because previous generations were more about survival. We have to be able to get food on the table. I have to provide the best education for my children. It really was about how to make ends meet in a country that is not necessarily my country that I grew up in. And so this is a country that I have to transition into, an environment that I have to acclimate to and adjust to. And so that triggers very much survival. I'm just trying to survive in this new place. I'm trying to learn the language, trying to get accustomed to the different ways in which I can navigate the system. And so that is a test that is different. Our test today is very different than our past generations in this country. Because we're not so much about survival now. We're more about thriving. And thriving also comes with a certain type of awareness of what we need to unlearn from past generations, but also the incredible strengths that we can take from past generations. Because we don't want to unlearn everything. And there are many incredible strengths that we can draw from past generations that we need to learn from today. So today, our test is very different, again, in the sense that it is one of ease. We have a plethora of options. We have many different degrees that we can choose from. Food options, housing options, options of friends, and where you want to live, and where you want to travel. All of these are different types of tests, or afflictions, or tribulations, or trials that we are presented with. And again, they're very different in nature. And so there isn't necessarily, in any of these examples that I have mentioned, when you're stuck in traffic, you can't exactly get out of the car and flee from traffic. You actually sit in traffic for hours and hours on end every single week, 365 days a year, minus weekends, perhaps. But that is an accumulation of stressors that take a toll on the body. And that's just traffic as one example. Imagine that you're sitting in your workstation in the workplace, in your work environment, and you're being bombarded with emails and deadlines, and you need to change this. And I need to request that from you, and you need to submit this. And so these are also another form of stressors that you can't exactly flee from, and you can confront them. But we will talk about when that stressor is over. Let's say you submit something for a deadline that you had. What ends up happening to the stress in your body? So the stressor is gone, but the stress is still residing. And this is actually something that we need to address and talk about in the context of self-care. Now, our stress response, again, today differs. And we often can't run from them. So they end up accumulating to a degree of overwhelm. No self-care without self-concept. When you look into research studies that talk about this concept of self-care, and I think that's really important to present, because I don't want to just present the average perspective on what self-care is. What I found in many research studies is that individuals who really don't understand this concept of self-care or resist it, and I found that to be very often the case in past generations, the reason for that is it's not because they don't like the idea, but they just don't find utility in the idea. They don't really understand what it's about. What does it mean to take care of myself other than just eating and sleeping and taking care of my very basic needs? But they don't really see much beyond that. And I found the reason is that the first and foremost reason that I come across is that that individual doesn't really know themselves. You don't know yourself as someone who has agency who is autonomous, who has your own identity. And the reason for that is that our cultures have really driven this concept of enmeshment. And part of being in a collectivistic society is a beautiful thing, because your struggles are shared, your joys are shared and multiplied. However, at the same time, you are functioning so much as one body that you don't necessarily know how to separate from that body at times. And who am I in the absence of that society or that community or that family unit? And so oftentimes, this is a struggle, because when we talk about self-care, we're not necessarily talking about community care, and that is an aspect of it. But self-care is really, for me, as an individual, caring for myself to ensure that my basic needs are met, but also a little bit beyond my basic needs. Because I think our understanding of basic needs is just, again, food, sleep, and intimate connection. However, there's a lot more to it than that. And so the first and foremost reason for why I don't place value in this concept of self-care is because I don't necessarily know myself. I don't necessarily know who I am. And so therefore, I just view myself as part of a unit. And when I view myself as part of a unit, I don't really think about, well, what do I need? And this is really a type of programming that is missing from past generations that I have encountered. Also, this concept of how can you care for something which you don't know? So I cannot care for something or meet the needs of something that I actually do not know I have no familiarity with. So again, when I don't know how to break away from that family unit or from that community unit, then I don't really know, me as an individual, what do I need? What am I in need of that I can provide or cater to or address? And so this is where much of the resistance lies. Also, what is your identity rooted in? And so we all wear multiple hats. And there are studies that allude to this fact that the more hats that you wear, the more happy you are. And that, of course, goes back to this concept of we all have a need to belong. We all want to feel like we're needed. And this is oftentimes why if you are a parent listening in, then you will really understand this concept of when your children grow up and they move on, then this is really a big part of this empty nest syndrome that you feel. I no longer feel needed. And I want to feel needed. I need to feel like there is some utility for me. I need to be utilized for something. Someone needs to rely on me for something. Someone leans on me for something. And so a lot of individuals, when their children leave the house, they find volunteering. They have careers. They have things that they can turn to to continue the cycle of feeling needed because that is necessary to thrive. But you need to identify what your core identity is. And for us as Muslims, I think we tend to forget this ayah. And so it's understanding that our purpose is really rooted in this concept and that I am first and foremost before I am anything else to anyone else or to myself. I am a servant of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. And I'm here being utilized, whether I realize it or not for the sake of something, for the purpose of something. And so knowing that that is my first identity and then everything else is kind of a ripple effect that follows. Then you are a daughter or a son. And then you are a spouse or a sibling and then a spouse and then a parent. And then you are an engineer or a caretaker or a housewife or you are a teacher or a clinician, whatever it is that you might be, everything else follows. But we must understand our root identity. And when I understand that root identity, I also understand the obligation that comes with that because that identity is one that I will be held accountable for. How did you take care of this amenah? How did I take care of my body? And how will I return this body back to the Creator when my time is up? What condition will it be in? What state will my mind be in, my soul, my body? And so the dimensions of a human being, according to Imam An-Ghazali is that he broke it down into really four things, right? And that was the ru'ah, which is the soul, which here is the spiritual. Then he has the qalb, which is the emotional, right? Which is the ihsaz. That's where all the ihsaz stems from or the sensations or feelings or senses. And then you have the aqal, which is the mind, which is the psychological. And then you have the nafs, which is the physical. And we know that there are two different, I guess, nutrients that we were created from. One of them being the soul, which is the divine. And then the body, which is really from the earth. And that is what our body will decompose back into, which is the earth. And so we cannot care for ourselves if I do not deposit something into each and every single one of these dimensions on a daily basis, on a daily basis. This is when we talk about being whole and complete as a human being as much as possible. These are really the dimensions that we have to look at. These are the dimensions that we have to tend to. And just like we deposit amounts in our bank accounts, we also have these accounts with Allah's panawatata that we actually have to ensure that we are making deposits into on a daily basis. Now, where did this concept of self-care really come from? So we have it in our faith. It's embedded in our own faith. However, there's been such an increase in hearing about this concept everywhere you go. And it's almost as though it's like this new found awareness. However, it's not. There were initially substantial deficits in professional medical resources in North America and Western Europe after World War II. And this led to the rise in the development and investment in healthcare. And upon investing in healthcare, right? It came to defining the role of the medical practitioner who is servicing the patients. And when they talked about primary prevention, right? An author with the last name of last, he documented that for every category of disease, what physicians saw was only the tip of the iceberg. So whenever you have a patient that is coming in with a complaint or reporting certain symptoms or symptomatology, you would look at their case and what you're seeing is only the tip of the iceberg because the experience is so much deeper than that for the patient. So they're not necessarily, and sometimes actually what I've encountered in the mental health field, forget the medical field itself, is that a lot of individuals don't know how to put terms to what it is that they're feeling or thinking in their body, in their mind, and in their soul because each one senses different things. And this is oftentimes what leads to a state of overwhelm. And when you're overwhelmed, you don't know how to really describe or put a name to the feeling or to the type of experience that you're having. And so part of being a practitioner or a medical clinician is that you are able to help empower your patient or your client in understanding the different terms to be able to understand what is happening to them. Now, Horder and Horder found that less than one third of illnesses experienced were treated by healthcare professionals. It's of no surprise that there's approximately 85% of symptoms that individuals never go to see a doctor for, right? Or they never go to see a mental practitioner for. And I think the statistics vary between mental health and then the medical profession. But this is telling. This is telling because this shows you the necessity as well for self-care because if there are so many things that we experience in our body and in our mind and in our soul that we actually do not talk to anyone about that is equipped to be able to help us or give us the tools to deal with or to treat or heal from, then that means that there is so much that is untended to. There is so much that is being neglected because we tend to minimize things. We come from a culture that it greatly minimizes things, right? And so these studies are not talking about our cultures in particular, but it is talking about a general picture of the human condition. Is that, and especially for us as Muslims or anyone who happens to be non-Muslim also who's listening is that, we tend to minimize things as human beings because we don't want to feed into things. We don't want to think that something is wrong with us. So instead of empowering ourselves to deal with whatever it is that we have or whatever it is that we're facing, we actually want to just sweep it under the rug and we don't want to deal with it. So many of the symptoms that an individual's experience are actually untended to. Now, initial descriptive self-care research concern the types of actions taken in response to illness, right? Now, our nature as human beings, according to Dr. Kelly McGonagall, she's a health psychologist with Stanford University. She's done extensive research on stress and health and wellbeing, et cetera. And she wrote the willpower instinct, which I highly recommend for everyone to read because our biggest muscle that we need to develop as Muslims is our willpower muscle. And this also relates to self-care in the sense that the biggest act of self-care is strengthening my willpower muscle because upon that, the tenets of my faith rely. So according to Dr. McGonagall, she said that when given a choice of anything, you're presented with multiple choices for anything. People tend to choose over and over what's against their long-term interests. So we're not wired to think about our short-term benefits. We generally think about, or long-term benefits are, we generally think about our short-term gain. So what can I gain from this? In this instance or in this moment, as opposed to how will this affect me if I go ahead with this a year from now, six months from now, five years from now, we don't generally think this way. And this is a big problem when it comes to our willpower. Now, we're also often what she found, it doesn't relate necessarily to being weak. Even though we know that in the Quran, Allah SWT tells us that he has created the human being as weak. Now, one of the side effects of being weak is that you will experience exhaustion and fatigue. And so Dr. McGonagall talks about from her studies is that we're often too fatigued to act against our own worst impulses. So we will have many tendencies and inclinations that are not positive. And if we were to feed into them and follow them, they could actually be very detrimental and harmful for our health and our wellbeing, whether it be psychological, emotional, physical or spiritual. So she's saying that we're often too tired to be able to act against those impulses that are actually not good for us. So we can't also control everything. And this is the paradox of willpower is that we can't control everything because we know that Allah SWT is the master controller. But we also need to increase our self-control by stretching our limited capacities. And she alluded to this fact that the only way to do this is by pacing ourselves. And it's really interesting because we have built into our faith this concept of Salah, which comes from Silla or connection with Allah SWT and we're wired for connection. But we are primarily wired for connection with our Creator. And this actually is what she is referring to pacing yourself, right? We have this embedded in our faith because Allah SWT helps us to pace ourselves by strengthening our willpower by praying five times throughout the day. And I'll talk a little bit about this in a little bit. We have a willpower muscle is what she also expounded upon. And she stated that you either use it or lose it just like the muscles in our body when they're not used, right? They kind of dwindle and they become, you know, very, you know, you start to sag in all areas because there's no toning, there's no muscle toning. And so it's exactly the same thing that you have a willpower muscle that you need to strengthen. And the only way to do that again is by pacing yourself and doing small acts that strengthen your willpower on a daily basis. Now, this relates to self-care in many ways. Our three needs as human beings are safety, satisfaction and connection. And when I talk about safety, primarily what I'm really talking about is psychological safety. And it's that feeling that you get when you're with someone and you actually feel like you can talk to them about what is really paining you, what is really causing you so much pain and anxiety and overwhelm. And you feel like you don't have to have your guards up with this person. You can actually lower your guard and connect with this person. And that I actually feel psychological safety with this person. And so we have this with a lost panel with that because we can actually talk and communicate with Allah all the time, all day, every day. We don't need an appointment. We don't need to schedule anything. We can actually just connect with our Creator at any moment of the day, which is the utmost mercy if you think about it. So psychological safety with Allah, but also we need safety with other human beings, other human beings who I share space with, who I actually feel safe in the company of. Now the second one is satisfaction. And that is when I feel a sense of fulfillment with what I'm doing, with my purpose, with how I spend my time. And the third is connection. And that is really connection with our Creator and connection to ourselves because you can dissociate from self. This is what trauma does if it quantifies as trauma. And then also connection with other people with other loved ones, which really triggers oxytocin or activates oxytocin to be released in the brain. And that's known as the bonding hormone. And that is how you thrive. Now when the brain senses that all three of these needs are actually being met, you actually find yourself in the green zone. And the green zone, green was actually our beloved daddy, his thoughts was the favorite color, but it's also the safe zone. So when you're surrounded by nature, you feel a sense of safety, you feel a sense of comfort, you feel a sense of peace and tranquility and serenity. And that is what the color green does, right? But it also is your brain's default mode. This is the mode that you need to be in as often as possible. And this is the sustainable mode as well. This is how I can actually thrive, not just survive, right? And this is my resting state. Your body has the rest and digest nervous system, but it also has the fight, flight or freeze nervous system. You wanna be in the rest and digest nervous system, that aspect of the nervous system. And that is where you will feel peace, satisfaction and love as a result of the need for safety, satisfaction and connection. Now your stress response is the red zone. And this is the area of great discomfort. This is the area of fear, anxiety, shutdown and overwhelm. And this is also where your body burns internal resources much faster than it can actually intake them. So whatever resources that you actually have internally, you are burning them off very quickly to a point of complete extinction. You actually don't have any more of it. And your system is actually greatly disturbed. So it's not in a state of homeostasis or equilibrium. It's in a state of being all over the map, right? So one minute you're feeling anxious, the next minute you're terrified, the next minute you're feeling stomach upset because the stress response triggers your digestive system. Hence why a lot of individuals experience stomach upset. They crave carbs. They find themselves perusing the bathroom frequently. And this is also relating to the hadith in which we are told that many, all diseases lie in the gut. And so there is a stress and gut connection that actually many medical providers or hekems can discuss and often do in their material and their content that relate to this fact to that stress wreaks havoc on your system. And this is another reason why self-care becomes mandatory in order to restore balance, restore homeostasis and just push your body in a state of restoration. Now the brain reacts in non-sustainable bursts. So it's not continuous, but it tends to be in the form of bursts of stress that you feel that in the short-term, there is positive stress, which is called eustress, which was termed by Hans Selle, who was a physician, but also eustresses is positive in the sense it could be marriage, it could be having a baby, it could be getting a promotion, it could be buying a home. And all of these are great things. However, they do come with a sense of stress to them because for example, with a baby, you have many sleepless nights, you're no longer your own person in that season of life, your baby may have many needs, many demands, especially if your baby has special needs, there's another added layer of stress to the mother. Now, when we talk about negative stressors, what I'm really talking about is transitioning from a eustress, a positive stressor into a negative stressor, and that means that I've passed the two week mark usually. So if I've been experiencing immense stress and overwhelm, every single day for a period of two weeks, you go past the two weeks, this is typically identified as prolonged stress, and this is when it begins to really impact your immune system. Now, there's a concept known as allostatic load, and that really refers to the wear and tear on the body as a result of prolonged stressors, not necessarily use stress, positive stressors, but negative stressors that take place in small bursts every single day or larger bursts on a daily basis. You're not tending to yourself, you're continuing to produce and exert yourself and expend energy, and eventually what that leads to is a pile up, almost as though you are piling up garbage, one on top of the other. What ends up happening is it starts to mold and starts to rot, and there's a lot of toxicity in the air as a result of that load of garbage. So it's a very similar effect internally, is that it all adds up, piles up, and then it starts to lead to a collapse in the body in which the body signals to you that I can no longer do this. And this is when you begin to shut down, which necessarily sometimes can be freeze mode, which is depression. Now, stress response has a beginning, and this is what we often don't think about, and this is what we often don't address, is that your stress response cycle in your body has a beginning, middle, and an end. We are very good at addressing the beginning, so what's the immediate stressor? I have this deadline. I didn't complete it. I don't know what I'm gonna tell my boss, my supervisor, my intern in my assignment, my professor. This is gonna be a really big issue. Maybe I'll get kicked out of the college or the university or the program. And so these are all very legitimate stressors. However, we think that when we address the stressor that the stress is now gone. However, that is far from being the case. Now, we'll transition into what self-care is, and then we'll talk about completing the stress cycle. What is self-care, and why does it matter, and why is it absolutely critical and necessary, and not selfish? It's actually a form of mercy and displaying self-compassion for each and every single one of us. Now, self-care is a form of slowing down reactivity, because when we are stressed out, we're highly emotionally reactive. So you will feel constantly, like you are at the edge of the cliff, and every small wind or any car passing by, or any individual walking very calmly past you, not triggering you, you will identify that as a trigger. And everything will start to bother you and everything will start to irritate you. And I know that many people can relate to this experience, especially in the pandemic, when everything changed suddenly for everyone. But also, self-care is also a restoration of body to a state of balance, because when you are exposed to a stressor again, we said that you are knocked out of state of equilibrium. And so you are no longer feeling balanced and at peace within yourself, you're not grounded. And so restoring balance is a part of self-care. There is a disconnect in modern life today between what activates the stress response cycle and completes it, because again, we said that we're no longer being chased by animals and lions or predators that we can actually run away from. And that process of running helps your body to de-stress and restore itself back to a state of equilibrium and homeostasis. We're not running. And we are not fleeing from things in order for that homeostasis to be restored. We are sitting at desks. We are at home. We are dealing with issues and stressors and flooded and being rebarred with them from every angle. And so therefore, how are you actually completing your stress response cycle? And so this is critical to complete the cycle because the stressor is there. You are trying to meet the stressor in some ways. You are making phone calls. You are typing things. You are sending emails. You are communicating. Perhaps you're not doing any of those things as well. You're in a state of freeze and you have just shut down because you don't know what to do. And so therefore, running or physical activity is necessary. Any type of physical activity is necessary in order for you to complete the stress cycle response. And so another way of completing the stress cycle, right? According to Emily and Amelia Nagoski who have actually researched this concept of completing the stress cycle is a 20-second hug. And that is something that potentially all of us can do. You can hug a friend. You can hug a parent. You can hug a loved one. You can hug a spouse or a child. And if it's 20 seconds, then I really hope it's somebody that you like because that's a very awkwardly long time to be hugging anyone that you don't like. And so it actually has to be someone that you feel a sense of psychological safety with. Someone that you actually like in order for it to signal to your brain that, hey, I'm no longer in a state of danger. I'm no longer exposed to a threat. It is safe now. You can calm down, right? You can restore yourself back to a state of balance and peace. Also, the third thing that is definitely not necessarily the third in its order is getting a good night's sleep. And when people tell you to sleep on things and you'll feel better in the morning, that could not be more true because the more that you understand sleep and the benefits, and there are way too many benefits for us to even address, but sleep is related to a lack of sleep or sleep deprivation is related to cancer, autoimmune diseases, right? Prolonged stress in the body that is actually not alleviated or mitigated in any way. And so you will continue to feel stressed out because you're sleeping late. The liver is not properly detoxing from the cortisol, which is related, which is the stress hormone. And so therefore you wake up and you still have cortisol running your bloodstream and you still don't feel much better. You don't feel rested. You don't feel relaxed or balanced in any way or grounded. And so getting a good night's sleep, preferably, maintaining the same time in which you sleep every day is critical. Also sleeping by 11 or before 11 p.m. is also critical for many reasons. And sleeping for approximately seven to eight hours is also very important. Now, some individuals say, well, the Prophet Ali s.a.w. actually did not sleep very often, but we also know that the Prophet Ali s.a.w. mirrored the cycles of nature in the sense of that they slept. The Prophet Ali s.a.w. slept after Asha prayer. So Asha prayer comes in fairly early. And so when you sleep right after Asha and you wake up in the last third of the night, that's a significant portion of sleep right there that can actually help you maintain balance and well-being in your body. Now, when we talk about also self-care, self-care is not just one type of self-care. And so when you think about self-care, this concept, you think about painted nails and massages and relaxation. And of course, relaxation and all of these things are critical. However, it's not just those things because we are much more than just a body which has emotions and physical, biological needs and psychological needs as well, but we also have a Rooh or a soul that actually has many needs as well. And this is something that is greatly overlooked because you will meet many individuals who are in a state of agitation, who are in a state of anxiety, who are in a state of internal stress, but they actually do not recognize that this stress and this anxiety and this depressive states at times, there's definitely a biological component, but at times is not related to anything biological. And this is the thing because individuals will oftentimes go to the physician, they will go to the doctor, they will investigate and explore every avenue to figure out what is it that is actually wrong with me? I can't figure out what is wrong. Now, sometimes there is actually something biological but the doctors are not really doing their part to figure out what is wrong. They're not administering the right tests to be able to decipher, is there actually a condition here or is actually constructed in the mind, which is very possible because we know that somatic pain is a very real thing. So what I mean by somatic pain as well as anything felt in the body in the form of pain. So individuals, for example, who experience fiber, myalgia, fibromyalgia is a heightened sensation of pain in the body. And sometimes you feel like that pain is traveling to different parts of the body. So one day you'll feel like it's your appendix and another day you'll feel like it's your liver and another day it will be in your back. And you're gonna be very confused because you're like, am I dying? What is actually wrong with me? Why do I have pain in all these different parts of my body? So this is usually an indication that it could be something psychological but it could also be something biological and you need to visit a practitioner or medical practitioner in order for you to be able to run all of the appropriate tests as a form of self-care to be able to distinguish is this something biological? Is this something psychological? Is this something emotional or also is this something physical? And once you've done all of that, there are some individuals, there's a category of individuals who do not find anything. And so they are met with one, one no after the other after the other and it's like, you don't have this, you don't have this, you don't have that. So by process of elimination, you've actually ruled out many conditions. And so the big things are, you don't have anything worrisome in that sense, anything biological. Now there is a type of spiritual agitation that the soul experiences as a result of being disconnected from Allah's panohatana. And this must be also addressed and thought out and really reflected upon because we have to assess what is my relationship like first and foremost with my creator? How am I applying self-care practices in this area? Because there's a great disconnect today in as a result of modernity, as a result of our lifestyles as a result of being extremely distracted and on the go all the time. And I think one thing that heightened issues for everyone to a degree is the pause that came with the pandemic. So the pandemic came along, but then also our lives greatly slowed down. And for many people that's problematic because they were on the go every single day for a reason. And that reason perhaps is they don't want to face something, they don't want to think about something, their thoughts haunt them and they greatly perturb them. And so they don't want to think about their past. They don't want to think about where they're headed. They don't want to think about all the problems that they have at home or with their loved ones or within their own selves. And so they tend to just distract themselves and busy themselves. And we know that we have a disease of being busy with modernity. And it doesn't really allow room for us to face ourselves in a very real and authentic and genuine way. We don't really want to look at the person within because that will require making certain realizations. That will require having to face things head on. And that will require a lot of heart work, a lot of inner work. And that is the hardest form of work that you will ever have to do in your life. And you will know this because children, if you have children, children will also be the biggest trigger for that. And I use the word trigger intentionally because there will be friction in a sense that will bring to the surface a lot of your own childhood wounds and in issues and unresolved emotions and unresolved needs, really. That's really what it comes down to is your inner child had a lot of needs that were perhaps unmet. And so you may be an adult, but you still have a child. It's still a child within that adult body. And this is what we must understand is what are the needs of that child that were unmet? Because this could be the greatest act of compassion that you can do for yourself. And also for your soul, for your emotions, for your biological well-being as well. Now, spiritual self-care. Ignore the right-hand side image. And I'm sorry, it's quite blurry. I tried to fix that. It didn't really fix itself. But when we talk about spiritual self-care, it's really contemplation to dabbur. It's this concept of, and Allah tells us, اَفَلَا يَتَدَبُّرُونَ الْقُرْأَنْ Do they not reflect and contemplate on the meanings within the Quran because that is a form of spiritual self-care? I can draw many nutrients from that which I'm reading, from the gems within the Quran that it can actually enrich me and broaden my perspectives and do a lot of cognitive restructuring because this is really what the Quran does. Because what we believe is not based on what we see. What we see is actually based on what we believe. And this is why we have the Quran because the Quran teaches us how to see the world. So when we invest in spending time with Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala, dedicating time to the Quran, dedicating time to being able to understand what is obligated from us. What are we supposed to do and why? Why are these things necessary? So understanding that is critical. So that is Tadabbur. Tadabbur allows for you, it's a vehicle that allows for you to attain this type of understanding. Now, muhaasabah is also critical in the sense of holding ourselves to account before we are held to account. And that is really, what kind of person am I? You know, what type of impact do I have on people around me? Perhaps I'm narcissistic. Perhaps I am too intense. Perhaps I'm too demanding. Perhaps I'm very neglectful. Perhaps I am very too optimistic that I actually dismiss and invalidate the emotions of other people. And if I don't take time to hold myself accountable and also do muraqabah, incorporate muraqabah, which is self-observation, being able to zoom out of myself and view myself from a bird's eye view and take notes, take actual notes about what you realize from things that are said by your loved ones, you know, remarks that they make, whether harshly or gently, that's not the matter. That's not the issue here. The issue here is what is the content of what is being said? And that is critical for us to take into account before Allah's panawatana takes us into account. Because I think the more, the lighter one is when we take ourselves into account because then we can actually rectify, enhance, polish, repair, and make right. And if we don't incorporate muraqabah and muraqabah, we're in big trouble because we're just on the go, we're cruising and we think that everything is okay, but everything can really not be okay, but we would have no idea because we're not holding ourselves accountable. Now I alluded earlier to this concept in Saleh and its connection to self-control. Research findings point to the fact that Saleh is not coincidental, is not haphazard, it's not just these motions that we go through. They're similar to moves in yoga in a lot of ways, but also, of course, they also touch upon certain acupressure points, which is found in Chinese medicine, but also in addition to that is this concept of self-regulation. We as human beings can become very dysregulated. A lot of the issues, a lot of the wounds inflicted upon children in their childhood are as a result of dysregulated adults in their lives. Adults that did not know how to regulate their emotions, they were never taught it's not their fault, but this is a really big concept and Saleh helps us to regulate ourselves in a sense that in the morning, when you wake up, you have the highest amount of self-control, right? And as the day goes on, your self-control, ability to self-regulate your emotions and states or emotional states decreases. It greatly diminishes because you're more tired. And so if you think about it, in the morning we have Salat al-Fajr, right? Which starts off our day. This is a keystone habit. When we talk about habits and then science of habits. And I highly recommend everybody to read. Sorry, I forget the name, but it's by James Clear. And he talked the atomic habits, right? And it's really downsizing our habits to a very small size in order for us to be able to incorporate them into our daily routine. And then you can build upon them. And we talk about keystone habits. They're really a type of habits that you can actually build other habits upon them. And so for example, making your bed could be a keystone habit because when you make your bed in the morning, you can actually do other things because I was able to make my bed. So I can go and make my coffee. I can make breakfast. I can do all these other things. For us, it's Salat al-Fajr. And for every act, we also have a dua that mentally prepares us to engage in that act. So we don't jump into anything if you really think about it, if it's done right. But do we maximize upon the potential and power that our faith actually gives us? Do we actually know these things? And do we implement them? So there's a dua upon waking up, right? There's also a certain area that the Prophet Isaal said we used to make. And then there's a dua, right? When you get up and you make wudu. And then after wudu, right? Then you enter into the kingdom of your Lord. You are now ready to enter into the kingdom of speaking to Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala and communicating with Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala. And so this is a form of mental preparation, which is what dua does. But then physically, I can then engage in the act. So we have Salat al-Fajr, which is a keystone habit upon which after I pray Fajr, I can technically do everything else. I can start working. I can go downstairs. I can make coffee. I can make breakfast. I can clean. I can organize. I can do that, which I am responsible to do as part of my different responsibilities and duties for the day. But there's a big gap if you think about it between Fajr and Doha prayer. Now why is that? This really relates to this concept of self-regulation and self-control because you don't need as much adjustment or attunement or tuning, sorry, you don't really need to tune up. You don't need to tune up your self-control and self-regulation because you already have high amounts of it in the morning. Now then you have Doha, and then you have a gap, and then you also have Asr and Maghrib, which tend to be in close proximity, and then you have Aishat. So you have several Salat in the evening that you actually have to partake in. And that is because, again, our self-control diminishes as the day goes on. We are more and more tired, so we need more check-ins. With Allah SWT, we need more tune-ups. We need to fine tune so that we can up our self-control, not fall into sinning because there are also studies that show that crimes and technically sins are committed more in the evenings. And that relates to self-control and self-regulation, your ability to do those things. Now Tahajjud as well leads, if you really want to increase your capacity to be able to handle stressors and things that happen to you, it's engaging in Tahajjud, which is waking up, even if it means 10 minutes before Fajr comes in, Fajr then comes in, you can actually just wake up 10 minutes and pray two rakahs, four rakahs, your Shafa and Wittra, and then you have sealed your prayers for the evening, and then you're ready to engage in the next state and what you will find is that your capacity to be able to handle stressors greatly increases. And that is because you're tapping into the reservoir of your spiritual capacity directly from Allah SWT and anything directly from Allah SWT, equips you with the ability to be able to handle much more than you think you can handle. So whenever you're in a state of worry or anxiety about not being able to handle that which is coming your way or you know that you have a sick loved one and the inevitable is happening, especially due to COVID or other sicknesses and ailments, this is one great way of maximizing your capacity to be able to handle the emotional stressors that are coming your way, as well as tapping into professional help and support. Now this image is from a group of clinicians that have institutionalized different strategies and techniques in mental health. And so they have come up with this infographic which talks about four strategies for managing stress and anxiety but they also are very applicable to self-care. Now you can do meditation, you can do deep breathing and I really encourage diaphragmatic breathing, really learning how to breathe properly which is actually part of it to benevolently the medicine of the prophet. It is discussed how you need to utilize the lungs capacity for breathing because many people just breathe in a very shallow way. And when you learn how to tap into diaphragmatic breathing, diaphragmatic breathing triggers your rest and digest and takes you slowly into a state of safety in which you're now in the green zone. You're taken out of the red zone and into the green zone but you still need that physical activity or that sense of activation of safety in some way. You can also do visualization, visualization is extremely powerful in the sense of visualizing yourself in a place of safety because you may not be in a physical place of safety. You may not live in a household in which you actually feel safe. So Allah SWT out of His infinite mercy has given us the ability to imagine things and you can actually imagine yourself being in a safer place in a place that is more serene, that is perhaps more calm. Maybe you live with many children and you aren't really able to escape very often. So you actually can imagine yourself being by a beach or in a very serene place in nature somewhere. And that gives you a sense of peace and safety. Also, you have expressive and creative strategies in order to arrive at a place of balance. And that is gardening, art and physical movement. And we talked a little bit about physical movement especially hiking and research studies that point to the fact that hiking can actually help in rewiring the brain. So hiking is very healthy for you, especially during this time in which people are homebound. You can actually go out in nature and hike and make sure that it's not a crowded location. And being around nature that glorifies Allah SWT can only bring you peace and serenity. Now the third is reflection and exploration strategies. And this is derived from our own practices of muraqaba and muhassaba and mujahedah and all these different concepts of really observing myself and journaling and making observations about myself and how I impact other people. And what is my presence like? What does it feel like to be in my presence and being in touch with that? So self-monitoring communication is key as well. Learning how to communicate is the biggest skill that you can learn in your life because upon that every single relationship will rely. Number four, we can't neglect this of course as part of not spiritual healthcare but physical self-care, sorry. Is learning how to eat well and not just learning how to eat well but where do I purchase my food? Is it ethically sourced? Is it organic? Is it nutritious as much as I can? And of course I understand individuals who say, well that is a very expensive lifestyle. However, your sickness is much more expensive. It's much more expensive to cater to and maintain and paying all of those bills is much worse than investing in healthy food that is actually nutritious for your body that can actually sustain your body and keep you going. And this is part of our wedged. This is part of our responsibility in front of Allah SWT is being able to learn this because it is a science in and of itself. I'm blessed to have my sister who's a holistic nutritionist and she really guides a lot of my information regarding this and enables me to be able to help clients as well in this area through connecting with her. But I highly recommend that every single individual creates some type of awareness around this topic as it's very critical for our wellbeing. And there is a gut and brain connection through the vagus nerve. So I'm not going to feel well if I don't eat right. And if I'm consuming carbs and sugars and toxins, there is no way that I will mentally feel well because my gut is signaling to my brain through the vagus nerve, the largest nerve in the body that I'm actually, the fuel that you are receiving is not top notch fuel. And so you actually need better fuel sources in order to feel better. And of course, relationships, connection, it's huge. I kind of mentioned that earlier and exercise. And then last but not least, understanding, and I hope through this presentation that we have all collectively come to understand that without self-care, there is no health and wellbeing. And this is actually a necessity. This is not a luxury. It's not about painted nails and massage parlors and going to just get a treat for myself. That can be part of it, but it's much greater than that. It's actually much bigger than that. And so self-care is a necessity. It's not a choice in order to fulfill the rights of the amenity that we were given. And then self-care is never a selfish act. It is only good stewardship of the only gift I have. The gift I was put on earth to offer others through the different types of contributions and services that we are each mukellef with, that we are each responsible to fulfill for others through us. We are just the vehicle. I think everyone for listening and if anybody has any questions, I would be happy to respond to them at this time, inshallah. Peace be upon you. Peace be upon you. Peace be upon you. Peace be upon you. Peace be upon you. Peace be upon you. I have doubt about, you talked about three things that make us feel that we are having self-care. That was safety. Fulfillment, fulfillment and satisfaction and connection. Yeah. What if we don't have it? How do we build it? Yeah, so I'm guessing you have one or two of them but you don't have all of them. Yeah. And if you have one or two of them, human beings are very resilient in the sense that you don't necessarily have to have every single one of those in order to thrive. But for example, if I live by myself and I don't really have many connections with other people, then I can maximize on my relationship with my creator in order to overcompensate for the physical relationships that I actually don't have with other people around me, for example. And I can ensure that I'm eating well and I can ensure that I'm exercising, taking care of myself. But also, I think sometimes individuals don't want to put themselves out there to be able to create a sense of community for themselves, which is really important in the sense of finding platforms and especially now with us being online, there are many different support groups, many different platforms in which we can come to know about and then we can, even if it's a Quran halafa that you are a part of and the women in this Quran circle all check in on one another, that is a sense of connection. And I get a sense of safety that I am cared about. And of course, primarily we get a sense that we are loved and cared for by our creator because we were created. We would never have been created if we're not loved and cared for and nurtured by our creator. And so that is the first sense that we can connect to. And then other than our creator, we do our part in a sense of trying to create ways in which we can be connected to other people in order to maximize on the benefits of connection in our body and in our mental states and mental wellbeing. And then also spending time in nature is very healing, much more than I can cover today, but just being in nature, being in the sunshine, getting a good night's sleep. And even if it's really the perceived support that you have, it's not about having six to 10 people who you are close to in your life. It's really about my sense, do I feel like I have support? That's really all that it comes down to. So even if you only have two people, then that's all that you really need. You don't need anything beyond that because I feel like I'm loved and cared for by those two people. So I don't need a whole tribe. I don't need a whole community. It's really perceived support that I have. And if I perceive that I have support, then that's good enough. I hope the answer is your question. Okay, yeah. Jazakallah al-Akhir. Wa'iyakum, wa'iyakum. Jazakallah al-Akhir, Heba, for a beautiful talk, my Shalom. Nissa is very, very grateful. It's been recorded at Hamd-e-Rila, so I'm hoping more, in Shalom, will benefit from listening to what you've shared with us today. And I'm hoping we will collaborate and partner with you again in the future, inshallah. Thank you so much for your time. Jazakallah al-Akhir. And thank you for everybody who joined in today. Jazakallah al-Akhir, my dear. As-salamu alaikum. Wa'iyakum As-salam. Thank you so much. Wa'iyakum As-salam. You're welcome. Wa'iyakum As-salam. I take everyone.