 Hello everyone, I am Narc Survivor, welcome to my YouTube channel. Before I begin, please hit that thumbs up button down below to show your support. If you would like to book a one on one coaching session with me, you can go to my website, it is narcsurvivor.co.uk. Why Narcissus ruin intimate moments? It's no secret that Narcissus love to ruin intimate moments. They love to ruin anything that might otherwise bring you fulfillment. A personal experience, a vacation, a birthday, Christmas, Valentine's Day or some other special occasion or event. But why do they do this? What is their motivation? That is what we're going to get into in this video. Intimate moments are personal and private. It's a moment where you may share your intimate thoughts and feelings, your intimate secrets or an intimate conversation. And this could be a moment that you are having with the narcissist or it could be something that you are sharing with someone else. Where you are having or it's likely to cause a very close friendship or personal or sexual relationship. Where you know someone and you like them a lot and you're involved with each other in a loving and sexual way. You're not flaunting or broadcasting it in the way that narcissists do with their sources of supply in a deliberate and vicious attempt to make someone envious or jealous. It's very personal and private but of course when you're intimately involved with someone there is always the risk of other people finding out about it. Where they then acquire certain information that was not previously known but this was never your intention. You didn't intend to agitate anyone or to provoke a certain response. Your intention was to get to know someone and to share an intimate encounter. A close and warm personal relationship with a partner or friend and there's nothing legally or morally wrong with that. As long as you're not being unfaithful or using the intimate or sexual act to harm or deprave the partner involved but of course that's not what we're talking about here. We're talking about an innocent interaction where you have no knowledge of the unpleasant or evil things in life so you're not intending to harm anyone but yet this seems to be a sore spot for narcissists. It's an issue which causes them distress and annoyance and it's something that they prefer not to talk about because it makes them angry and embarrassed but a lot of times narcissists really don't even believe that there is such a thing as an innocent interaction or an intimate moment. In their minds everything is corrupt and immoral and people are just getting over on each other because that's just how they think and act and they project their ideas and experiences onto other people so they don't believe that they can be another way because they're in denial. They've shut themselves off from this world of true love and intimacy and it's because a long time ago they felt rejected by someone and they never received the love and appreciation that they desired and needed so they told themselves a story in their minds that everyone is fake and manipulative and that there is no such thing as an intimate moment and instead they're just trying to gain power and control over you or another person but deep down they do know the truth. They understand that people can experience intimacy together but for some reason they are excluded from that experience as though they're unworthy or unlovable when in fact the real reason is because of their ego. Their need to feel superior and important that's what prevents them from experiencing true intimacy with anyone. They are the problem but because they were rejected a long time ago and they felt unlovable they can't even see it because the regard to gives that many people have tried to love the narcissist but the narcissist won't let them. They can't be vulnerable and because of that they will mock you and ridicule you when you're vulnerable and authentic as though it's a weakness. When really it takes strength and courage which are two things they don't have so they actually envy your ability to be vulnerable and intimate which is why they will do anything they can to take it away or destroy it because they can't comprehend how you're able to open up and be vulnerable when they could never find the strength to do that because they were rejected a long time ago and it made them feel inadequate was though something is wrong with them. So when a narcissist is sharing an intimate moment with you or they're aware that you're sharing an intimate moment with someone else they will try to ruin it because it reminds them of a time in their life where they felt unlovable and rejected and they can't find the strength to overcome it so they have to use people and situations in an attempt to regulate themselves by lowering the vibration so that it resonates with their internal condition and past experiences which is why you cannot be in the vibration of love around a narcissist. They will sense it and they will immediately try to bring you down because they can't exist on that frequency. They have too much fear guilt, anger, shame and pride and when they see your love it triggers these emotions and causes them to resurface to where it becomes too overwhelming for them to deal with and then they have to lash out at you. They have to cause some form of disruption or disorder because when everything is aligned in perfect harmony it causes them to have to reflect on their internal condition and it makes them feel worthless when everything is clean and pure. It just reminds them of how foul, immoral and corrupt they are on the inside so they can't feel what you feel. To them it feels like an attack. It makes them feel like they're garbage in contrast to this moment that you're experiencing because in this moment they're idealizing you. They're viewing you as perfect as though you're effortlessly presenting this clean angelic image and they're closely observing your lifestyle as they're examining your clothes, makeup, accessories and how you take care of yourself and it's overwhelming to them. Aside from the cost it's like how do you even have the time, energy and motivation to do all of that and then they're questioning if it's your genetics and then that makes them feel inadequate as well. It makes them feel dirty, ugly and inferior in comparison. It's too overwhelming for them to have to imagine the work that it would take for them to achieve anything like that and then they look at themselves that upbringing and appearance and they feel they could never measure up to you because they've idealized you. They viewed you as perfect until they realized that your qualities can never be theirs and then they begin to hate and resent you. This is why many narcissists strive to achieve this picture perfect image themselves because they've witnessed it on social media or television or they may have just imagined it in their heads and assigned it to you or someone else and what they envy is typically what they strive to become while simultaneously trying to destroy it in the process because you can't both be that it's either you or it's them and they are determined to be that because they hate themselves and they hate anyone who proves to be something they're not. They despise their own humanity, bodily processes and functions. They hate being vulnerable. They hate being reminded that they are human. They take that as an insult on their character because in their minds you're either perfect or flawed. So they have to manipulate, devalue, belittle and exploit you to see themselves as perfect. When the reality gives that no one is perfect we all make false mistakes. We all have flaws and imperfections whether they see it or not. The problem is that they idealized you. They projected this perfect self image onto you and your experiences until they realize that it's you and not them and then they begin to envy you. Until they then become aware of your insecurities imperfections and vulnerabilities because they're fault finding. They're looking for something to be wrong so that they can tarnish yourself image. So they will pinpoint something that they believe to be wrong and then they will exaggerate it as though it's the most important thing in the world so that you become hyper focused on it and you give it your full attention until you lose track of everything else going on around you because you're completely absorbed in what they're displaying to you. You're trying to help them. You're trying to solve the issue. But even if you do change this alleged flaw about yourself they will move the goalposts and they will find something else to be little you about. Because they're implying that there's a problem with you when there's actually no problem at all. It's just an expression of their own self-hatred which they are performing vicariously through you because they feel like they're this ugly duckling who no one cares about and you're this beautiful swan who everyone loves and admires even though you may not see it that way and they may be attracted themselves and they may have more opportunities and friends than you do. Because this is all going on in their minds and when they're training you to become hyper focused on your flaws or weaknesses it's because they're already hyper focused on you to the point where they've lost track of everything else going on around them and it's a lonely experience for them unless you're along for the right so they've got to pull you into it by pointing out your flaws because otherwise they're just going to be obsessively watching and observing everything you do or they may even be visualizing certain scenarios in their heads and you may just be eating a meal or brushing your teeth and they will stare at you intensely but you may not even realize what is going on they will just randomly insult you because all of this is going on in their minds while you're innocently going about your day and they see you performing simple daily activities and it's making them sick because it reminds them of their own inadequacy and imperfections and of how they're never going to be like you who experience life in the way that you do but this is not love or acceptance of who you actually are as a person they're idealizing you they're viewing you as this perfect innocent angelic character which is everything that they strive to be but failed and you may never have viewed yourself in this way but this is exactly how they see you and it's why they just can't get enough of you and they become obsessed and there's no limit to the abuse there's nothing they could do to you to where they would feel like you're even and you've had enough and it's because they viewed you in this way they haven't arrested emotional developments they're stuck with this black and white mentality which is typically seen in young children and people in their qualities are like toys for them to take and use as their own your qualities and possessions make them envy you it makes them want to deprive deprave immoralize and corrupt you to make you look bad and feel bad about yourself and to get everyone else to see you the same way because there is this innocent and angelic side to you and they despise that about you it reminds them of how foul and corrupt they are and that they are not good which is why they despise anything cute playful or innocent because they were traumatized at a young age and they lost that side of them they have no inner child because they didn't have a proper childhood they were forced to grow up at a young age because their parents may have been the same way narcissists despise your intelligence and how you conduct yourself communicate and articulate yourself in an autonomous and professional way they want to discredit you and caused you to lose favor and respect everything that we might love and appreciate about a person is what they envy and hate about us because as in paths were innocent and pure so we behave in a way that is morally good without extraneous and unnecessary elements we're simple and bounded and restricted downright and absolute so just like an innocent child we're not naturally subjected to any internal perceived limitations such as fear of failure pride laziness or the tendency of delaying or postponing something instead we are naturally confident active energetic attentive and modest because we are innocent and pure and we are connected to our inner child so it's natural and real while they're putting on an act and pretending to be something they're not so they resent that they had to abandon their true identity to manipulate people and get ahead in life which is why they hate your freedom and independence because although externally they may feel unconfined and unbound internally they're chained to their own lives and fabrications which is essentially a prison of their own making and yet they recognize that your internal condition is unlike theirs because you're innocent you don't have to manipulate anyone so they have to confine and contain you by spreading lies and rumors and creating this false narrative about you while at the same time they live in my curiously through you but the last thing they want is for you to view yourself vicariously through their eyes because then you would see what they see and you would realize that it's very different to how they've been portraying you to yourself or to other people it's like the movie Cinderella your Cinderella and they're the jealous and desirable stepmother or step sisters they know that you're beautiful they know that you're meant to naturally outshine them but they can't stand it because it's you and not them so they hide you from the world and they create a false reality they steal your character while keeping you down and hidden away and they pile all these duties and responsibilities on to you to tire you out and to make you feel miserable because it's the opposite of how you naturally are well for them it's their natural state which is why they want to put it on to you and have you deal with it and when you finally get fed up and you say no more they go behind your back and they tell everyone about you they start a smear campaign to prevent you from sharing your wonderful qualities with the world and it's all because of their emotions it's because they're envious and jealous if they had thought logically and rationally they never would have done those things to and you would be the person who you're meant to be thank you for watching if you found this video helpful please give it a thumbs up share your thoughts in the comment section hit the subscribe button to receive the notifications if you would like to support the channel you can donate at paypal.me slash NARC survivor you can book a one-on-one with me on my website it's NARC survivor.co.uk thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon