 All right. We're cooking. We are rolling and take three. What's up, guys? Drew here that anxiety guy dot com as always with Billy Cross from anxiety united dot com. Good to be back again again for the third time this morning. It's a yes, we have all kinds of newfangled technology this morning. So I hope everybody notices it and loves it. Yeah, if you don't stuff, we're sticking with it anyway. So it's another Saturday morning and we're back to do the next and our extended anxiety one on one series. What are we talking about today, sir? We are talking while I recommended doing something about like restaurants and social situations like going out for a drink in a bar, you know, maybe parties stuff like that. I think it's a good idea. I think you're going to have to run with this one because I just don't do it. But interestingly, like I'm going out for my birthday. So it's less than two weeks away. So give me some tips, man. Give me some tips. Some tips. All right. So I guess we're going to entitle this one like how to deal with restaurant slash social situation. We haven't figured it out yet. We'll figure it out, man. So it's all about like going out to eat and probably hit on a couple of different things because there are people who have multiple issues with regard to going to a restaurant or a pub, a bar, whatever. We can almost put in concerts and any kind of public situation. Yeah, yeah, that's it. So that's that's something you do on a regular. You're saying it's been a while. I mean, I did it. I went out. Wow, Jesus Christ. I went out for breakfast a few times recently. But that was kind of, you know, but it was way emptier. The place was than it would normally be like a peak dinner times and stuff. So sure, sure. But I haven't been out for my birthday for many years. So I just want to do it, man. I should celebrate it. Jesus, it's about time. You should be out for your birthday. You know that. I'm with you, I don't know. Instead of going to McDonald's drive through the drive through. We talked about that last week, though. Yeah, yeah. Being stuck in the drive through. But so, you know, my own personal experience with this, it's not something that I mean, you know, I wasn't a fan of being out, you know, in my worst times. But I didn't have a specific problem with, you know, like with restaurants. It was just in general for me. But I think the most common things that I hear with people in a restaurant is going out to eat is the feeling trapped, like that's it. You sit down, you they feel they can't just leave. I think I mentioned it maybe on a video before where it was like it's a battle getting in the place. But then when you've given your order, like, you know that you've got to sit now. And that's when it always used to be for me, like I'd make that decision. I'd sit and think about what I'm having. And then it's like, I know as soon as I order, I've got to stay. That's it. Because a lot of the places over here, like the pubs and restaurants, you would go up to the checkout and you'd pay. Yeah, like there's no waitress service or the reason places. But the places I used to go, like the dark and dingy bars, you know. So you'd go up and pay, you'd order your food and then you've got to sit. Otherwise you're wasting 20 quid. Right, right. You bought, you know, you bought fish and chips and just not going to eat them. Exactly. Exactly. It's all we eat, maybe. Bangers and mash. It's all I know. And I'm out now. I'm done. So yeah, but once you'd made that decision, I'm ordering like we're sitting, then that becomes the tricky bit. But then I used to get a thing like when I'd eat as well, because there's obviously changes in your body when you're eating. Like I'd always get hot and sweaty and feel a bit dizzy, maybe. I don't know whether it was me overthinking or whether it was actual physical changes that are happening in your body when you're eating. It's probably both. I mean, you know, if you're feeling anxious, then you're going to get those anxiety symptoms, the hot and the sweating and all that stuff. And then when you're eating, let me think, I mean, there are some physical changes, you know, when you're eating. There's no doubt about that. But and then probably they just get magnified by the fact that you were saying, yeah, that's it because you concentrate on it. Yeah, exactly. So I think so there's that thing where, okay, now you're trapped. People always say, well, I feel trapped now because I have to sit, especially if you're with a larger group of people, you know, it's just you and your significant other or you and a friend. That's one thing. But if it's you and, you know, there's 16 people because you're at a birthday party or something like that, it gets even tougher. People feel even more trapped. So there's a thing that says, well, I can't leave. If I have to leave, I can't leave now sort of trapped. The second thing that I've heard was the is the what if everybody's looking at me, you know, so that's that fear of embarrassment or being judged. I don't know if that's if that's kind of a thing for you. But and then the third thing is that whole eating people who, you know, what if I choke, what if I they're actually get anxious about eating in front of people, which isn't, I don't know if it necessarily. It's weird because there's so many different ways that you can go at this. Like that for me, like a fear of choking has never been an issue. But yeah, you're right. You're right. There's some people out there that that is the big thing. Yeah, they're terrified to eat in front of other people. And I think that could be that's almost like a phobia by itself. Somebody who's afraid to eat in front of other people doesn't necessarily develop panic disorder and agoraphobia. They would just avoid eating in front of other people. And then the third one is people who have the emidophobia. They're afraid of being ill of throwing out the vomiting. And so the eating just plays right into that. That's a tough one. Like, you know, I have never dealt with that myself. Yeah, how do you expose yourself to that? You don't. And so we'll have to talk about it. Yeah, yeah. Some of these things you cannot really expose yourself to. So, you know, what do you do with them? But so you have you ever the choking thing is not a thing for you. The getting sick thing is not a thing. No, no, with me, I was talking to somebody yesterday talking about this very subject, and it's like it doesn't matter where it is for me. It could be anything like I went to the doctors yesterday and experienced major anxiety. I was telling you yesterday, weren't I? Yes, yeah, you know, so I went through that exact same process that I would if I was going to eat a restaurant or if I was going to a supermarket, it's exactly the same process. But for me, it's not it's not a case of where it is. It's a case of what it is. That's what I think. Does that make sense? Yeah, no, no, no, I get it. So it doesn't matter that you're in a restaurant or the office. Yeah, it makes a difference. The same thing I would bet for the majority of people who are watching and listening. That's probably that, you know, eating out is just another. It's just another thing, another challenge for them. It's probably based primarily on the what if I panic and I am trapped and I can't escape and it's not safe here. So that stuff you can you can certainly address in just about everything we've ever talked about. Yeah, yeah, well, that's it was perfect yesterday. Like that was it was exactly the same process of what you would do with any of these things. Like I was freaking out when I was in the car park outside, went in, walking around like I was pacing around the waiting room, you know, the nurse called me in, I went in. It was like just a health check thing. And when I came out, I'd accomplished everything and I felt great and I was just pacing around the waiting room, like just chilling out. I wanted to stay in there until it was zero on the anxiety level. And I did and it was that feeling again, the same as when I walked around the castle, the same as when I did anything when you see it through the same principles of Lyman. Right, right. So it didn't matter, you know, in the end. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And the takeaway from that, right. And I killed a pheasant on the way to the on the way to the doctor's surgery, which freak me out. So I was feeling really dodgy. I had to go and pick my little up from school. Yeah. And I was feeling like tired and just questioning. I don't want to go to the doctors like I was arguing with myself saying like, I don't even need to go to the doctor. It was just a health check because I've signed up to a new surgery like. And I was just thinking, I don't need to go. I'm not going to go. Then I hit a pheasant and all of a sudden I swear. I woke up and it was like, shit, like concentrate on what you're fucking doing. Pay attention to the road. I felt way better, way more alert, but I was still freaking out. So yeah, I killed a bird. Well, my condolences to the pheasant and his family. Funerals next Tuesday. I'll make a charitable donation in the name of that person. Whoever she or a couple of turkey drumsticks. So did that put you in a more anxious state? Or did that kind of like snap into like, oh, I got to focus on some shit now. Yeah. Yeah. So it woke me up. So I was more focused, but I was still feeling the physical shit. Yeah. And it was like the upsetting thing, too. Like, yeah, it was weird. It was weird because my daughter was in the car with me. And she was like, did we just hit that? And I was like, yes. Yeah. Yeah. Can't sugarcoat it. Yeah. Yeah. It's dead. The circle of life and all that. Doesn't usually involve a diesel engine, but that's OK. Well, OK, so that's fine. So I think in the end, so your story about getting to the doctors yesterday and, you know, having that initial panic and losing it in the waiting room. But then once that was over, you just you were good. Took over. It's exactly the same as I would feel if I was going to a restaurant or I will feel on my birthday. I'm going to feel exactly the same. I'll freak out on the way there. I'll get in there. I'll do that ordering thing. I'll probably have the peak of the anxiety then. And then it'll start to subside. If I sit with it, if I run out of there, then it's game over, isn't it? You did a video a while ago. It's probably over a year or two ago now where you did that. You went out. I want to say you went out to breakfast. Yeah. Yeah. Do you remember that one? Yeah. I did it a few times. Yeah. Yeah. I remember that one. And I remember one of those two. And it was that is exactly what happened. Like when you that thing, and I remember you narrating it like, well, you know, when you placed your order, you were at that peak of like, you kind of feel like I want to leg it out of here. But, you know, but then by the time that the food actually came and you're eating, it was. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was nothing. It was fine. That's it. That's it. Always subsides. You just got to sit with it. Yeah. Yeah. So that's I think in terms of like, if you're just having a problem with there's nothing specific about the act of being in a restaurant or a bar or a pub, it's just the fact of being out out of your safe area or whatever the heck it is. And you think you have to escape. That's again, the lesson is you just have to sit with it. Yeah. Don't add to it. It will subside. It might not go to zero. I mean, for you, it went to zero because you're you're quite experienced now. Just a bit. Well, that's okay. But that's normal because you've been at this for quite a long time. Yeah. You're new to that whole thing. Like it might not go to zero. And you you may spend the entire evening, you know, feeling agitated and uncomfortable in that restaurant. Yeah, you read that pub. But but the bottom line is if you just let it be there and don't react to it, it might not be the most enjoyable evening of your life of your life. But the next time you do it, you know, it'll be a little bit easier and a little bit easier. And I would say so if if a restaurant or a bar or a public place like that, it's just part of the bigger picture as you're working on everything better at the supermarket, better at going to work, better at all of those things. A restaurant and a bar will naturally become easier to do. Yeah, yeah. Although if you're primarily working on driving and work in school and like those life things and and the restaurant is something you haven't done in two years, you'll likely fear it because I haven't done this. What if I can't I could drive now, but what if I can't sit in the restaurant? You'll have those are natural thoughts to have, but it'll be easier than it would be if you went from completely house bound to, you know, yeah, yeah, it's not for three hours. So yeah, I think it's just like anything else. As far as the other stuff, this is the tough stuff, like fear of choking or fear of vomiting or just the fear of just being in social situations. Have you been social anxiety isn't really necessarily? It is now. Oh really? Yeah, yeah. Really? Okay. I don't know why. Maybe it's just because it's through not doing anything. That's what it is. It's just the unknown now. It's becoming the unknown. Right, right. That could be, that could be. But I think people- Doing stuff like this is helping though. Like taking live calls on the stream and- Sure. I'm talking to way more people now off stream. Yeah. Like just from the group in there. Yeah. Chatting to people properly and so that's helping. So I do- It's just the face-to-face thing. I don't do it enough. Yeah. But do you find that as you communicate with more and more people that social anxiety thing is starting to feel a little bit less? Yeah, I guess. It's weird. I'm just weird, man. I'm just weird. Like if I am face-to-face with somebody then I can hold a conversation and all that, but I do tend to go inside my own head and start thinking like oh, I feel a bit giddy or so I'm just questioning myself. But I'm fine. I'm fine socially. Like I can hold a conversation. I'm a master of small talk. You know? You are. You're very witty. I mean, obviously as we could do, you know. We could ban that. I'm a little funny so that's cool. Yeah. I'll take that. Yeah, you should take it. It's good. But I think that social anxiety thing and I think that like people who are afraid to eat in front of other people. There may be specific fear of what if I choke and there are specific things they're afraid that might happen that are food related. What if I get sick, what if I choke? That I get. But just the general feeling of like, well, I'm anxious being around other people or in a crowd. I don't want people looking at me. I mean, eating, it's crazy it sounds. And I have, I mean, do I look like I miss a meal? So I've never. Say nothing. I've never had a problem, you know, with that thing, eating in public. I didn't really have social anxiety, but everyone, even for me, that's never been part of the anxiety complex. Every once in a long while, I was sitting there with somebody, whoever it is, you know, you're eating, you're sharing a meal or something. And the thought occurs to me, like this is the strangest thing that we do. Like we, you know, we put stuff like in us. Like it's just. Feet, feet. Right. It's just the strangest. Like if there was an alien came down and it was like watching us. What are these, what are these things doing? It's crazy. Like there was a thing. And now it's not there. What happened? Yeah. That thing, yeah. Sometimes they do think that. And I can understand then maybe why people would view eating in public as especially vulnerable. Yeah, yeah. You could maybe, what if you get like food on your face or you drop something on your shirt or like you look awkward. I can see where if you're socially anxious or you have social anxiety. So it'd be more of what other people are thinking when they're looking at that gravy on your chin or. Right. That's what it is. Yeah. It's an embarrassment thing. If it's that fear of being embarrassed or judged, you know, if you're not terribly confident or you're feeling that people are judging you, I would think that eating in public is probably a super vulnerable place to be. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah. Because we can look silly when we eat, but everybody looks that way. I don't know. Nobody looks cool necessarily when they're eating. Which it's so interesting too, because well, now you're kind of back in that world now a little bit. But if, you know, especially on a date, I love hearing people talk about like their date restaurant strategies. Yeah, yeah. That's a bad idea. Well, right. A lot of people, I'm gonna say women, I hate to say this, this is just my own personal experience. Women tend to say that. Like, I don't want to eat the first time I meet a guy. Yeah, yeah. Or for a drink, but I don't really want to eat anything. Just in case, because I guess it's that thing where you can't look cool eating. Nobody ever does. So that's all right. Because we all look the same. So what's the difference? Yeah, yeah, what's the difference? So I don't know in terms of it, how do you get over the fear of being in a restaurant? If it's just part of the overall anxiety complex, you just have to work on everything. Say all the time, you work on all of your issues and the rest will kind of come along. But I think it's just something you have to just start doing. I think I was thinking about this morning, like, cause we said we was going to talk through the steps of how you would do it. Yes. So I was thinking like it's the same rules for like the supermarket. You'd perhaps just get in your car the first time, be prepared, think about it, then go and maybe sit in the car park there. Then the next time go to the doors. Next time go in, maybe go to the bathroom. Next time go in to have a drink, maybe. If you can do that, you're not going to just build up to it if you need to take those steps or just go straight in. I think, yeah, I think that's an individual call, depending on how terrifying it is. Yeah, that's it, that's it. But yeah, you could probably do that. Just go and sit in the parking lot, the car park. Or maybe go first to a takeout, where you could go in and stand there and just stand in the anxiety, order your food, wait for it to be prepared, then you're leaving. So that's a good intermediate step also. Takeout, takeaway, whatever you call it, where you live. Takeaway, takeaway. Takeaway, is that a thing there? That's takeaway, we call it takeout. But that's a good intermediate step. And it forces you to kind of stand there and wait for the food to be prepared. You have to stand there to wait to order, you have to stand to wait. You can't just run out unless you want to pay and then leave without your food, but. I've got a question. Yeah, go ahead. Like who goes to the takeaway anymore? It's all I'm just eating it. Jesus, they've even ruined that. Wait, all right, let me think about that. Who goes to takeaway? Here, I think a lot of people do. Oh, really? I'm not sure, I mean, you know, what's takeaway for us? Takeaway is like a fast food, if you're not driving through and like shipping a hamburger in your face while you drive, but a fast food. And then there are, like for us, we have delis, delicatessen is in New York, at least in the New York area, big deal. And our supermarkets, like all of a sudden our supermarkets have become like full blown catering, like. Yeah, yes. I don't know if you guys have that there, but you walk into a supermarket here now on Long Island in New York area. In a lot of the rest of the country in the US, they have that already, which is now getting it. Like we're behind in supermarket tech here, I don't get it. But it's amazing the number of people I see that walk into a supermarket now and actually go right for that section. And they're buying dinner already prepared like they're in a restaurant and they're just putting it in a bag and taking it home. So, you know, I think that's a decent intermediate step. It forces you to sit and wait a little bit. Take away here is like a Chinese or an Indian or... Oh, sure. Sure. We have that too. Yeah, but now, you know, at least if you live in a more, you know, urban or even a suburban area, like, do you have Uber Eats? I don't know if we do one. I don't know. We have Just Eat, that's what I use. Oh, whatever. Right. So at least here, you know, in Uberville in the US, like now we have Uber Eats and an app called Door Gas. So you just sit, you can sit on your sofa on your phone and decide to order some poor Uber driver to get you a pizza and it shows up. Pizza. Pizza is takeout. Yeah, yeah, definitely. Dominoes. Dominoes. With that, we can agree on. Well, we can agree on pizza. I can't, I'm contractually obligated to not agree on dominoes by my ethnic heritage. I can't do it. There are dominoes and like Papa John's here in New York area. I don't know why anyone would go to them. We have like the best pizza in the world here. And people, yeah. So anyway, but that's neither here nor there, but pizza is take away. So I would think, okay, let's, you know, maybe take away where we're just talking about food. Sorry, sorry about that. I forgot how many people are watching us. So take away, take out probably a good intermediate step. Then like you said, find a place that maybe has a bar you can go and just have a drink and not eat. Maybe you can sit at the bar and just get a little appetizer or a snack of some kind. There are definitely intermediate steps you can take, but I'm gonna repeat what we should repeat every time. Like expect to feel badly. If that's a problem for you, then success in that trip to the restaurant or the pub or the bar is not, oh, I went and I felt great. That's not success. Success is I went and I felt like shit. I was in a panic when I stayed. Right, but I stayed and nothing bad happened. You need to create a memory and a story in your head that ends with and I was okay. It has to always end with I was okay as opposed to making up a story. Cause you didn't do it saying, well, I almost, you know, I had to run out of there because they almost passed out. No, no, you need to create stories and memories that end with and it was okay. I think that's interesting you say that cause when I've done something like that, like I would always remember the part where I didn't feel okay. Even if I successfully do it and come out feeling great, like the next time I was gonna go and do it, I'd always think back and think, shoot, like do I really wanna go through that? So it is about challenging that and trying to remember the positive, like you did it. Well, that's a good point. That's a super, I mean, I think that's pretty normal. Like who the hell wants to say it? I can't wait to go and have a panic attack, you know, in a restaurant again, nobody does. But what you should really be thinking is I can't wait to go and feel the way that I did when I just nailed it. More positive thinking, yeah. Right, I can't wait to feel the way I did after the panic started. I felt like, you know, invincible and happy. But even if you do that, I mean, that's a powerful thing. It's why we develop panic disorder and agoraphobia. The memory of the bad is like really strong. So you just have to, but that's the crux of this whole process that you and I talk about continually. Like it sucks, but you got to do it anyway. But as far as the other stuff, I guess we're just gonna sort of guess and we'll have to wait to see what kind of comments. Like you can't expose yourself to throwing up and vomit. You can't like this. So if you have eminophobia, there's really, there's no way to expose yourself to that. If you have social anxieties, there are ways to expose yourself to that, but social anxiety and that fear of eating and looking silly in front of people, you can put yourself in those situations. But that's where you get into the realm of the difference between more behaviorally based stuff, which is stuff you and I talk about all the time. You know, get out on a drive, walk to the castle, go to a restaurant, go to the supermarket and more cognitively based stuff. Uh-oh, there's someone in your window. No, I'm not kidding. Shit. You scared me then. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Bastard. So, more cognitively based things. So if you have social anxiety or if you're afraid of vomiting or all those things, I freaked out, didn't I? Why did you do that? Poor Billy went off the rails. Jesus, I'm gonna beat a blocker. Holy shit, there's someone in your window. Oh my God, did you see that? I'm gonna guess that's your daughter. I knew it. Dude, that is so funny. Did you see her before? No, I did not see her before. I was just making a joke. Hey, Lola. I cannot believe that you ended up looking in the window. That is one of the funniest things ever. Holy shit, there really is someone in the window. I'm gonna watch it back to see if she was there. She was not there. I completely popped it in my head because I started to notice the window and then 45 seconds later, there she was. That was like, it reminded me of Scream, the film Scream. I was like, oh, shit. Because I could sort of see an outline in the window. Where is it? Over there? Jesus. That is hilarious. We might put this bit back in. I'll do a bit of editing. We'll make it look good. That's fine. We'll put up any way you want, I suppose. That's really funny. What the hell are we talking about? I can't remember. Oh, we were talking. Okay, so let me see if I can get back on track. She's just grabbing something, then she's going again. Oh, that's fine. So we can just chill out until she goes. I don't care. Yeah, I'm good with that. Yeah, let my t-shirt soak up the sweat. Wow. Rough. That was rough. Yeah, I made a joke and it kind of freaked you out. It looked like it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So we were talking about the difference between the behaviorally based shit where you can get out there and expose yourself to things and the cognitive shit, which is there's still exposure built into it. But if you have eminophobia or you're afraid of choking or you have social anxieties, these are things where you really have to work on identifying those thought patterns and challenging them, changing them. It's part of CBT. So even if you just have panic disorder and agoraphobia, you would do that. But you can't get off the window, can you? I'm just looking. I'm sorry. Carry on. Carry on. But even if you're dealing with just your run of the mill panic disorder and agoraphobia shit, you're going to deal with some of those things, thought changing. You've been through some sort of thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Going through those exercises. But if you're dealing with social anxiety or that sort of thing, things you can't really readily expose yourself to, you really got to take some time and start working on those things, whether you're using a workbook or you're actually with a therapist or whatever those things are, you have to take an active role. Like it's really difficult to change because thoughts or behaviors too. So if you have social anxiety and so being in a crowded restaurant seems like your worst nightmare, just night white knuckling your way through the crowded restaurant isn't enough because in that situation, you're not going to find like, well, I didn't die. You're not really afraid of dying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your panic disorder might be. You're afraid of people looking at you and what are they thinking? And are they judging me? Am I fitting in? Or do they like me? Or do they hate me? Yeah, yeah. Those are, that's all happening up here. So you got to really work on being in that situation and being able to identify and modify those thoughts. Yeah, yeah. And learning what you're in control of because you're not in control of it. Like people don't look at you. Right, right. Especially if you're handsome like us too, you know. You know, what are you going to do? It becomes an issue, yeah. It too becomes an issue. I'm so tired of it. It's so hard to walk down the street. I mean, my scraggly beard. It's so funny. I have people just coming up to my windows looking through, you know what I mean? Obviously, how do you keep up with Apparazzi is what that's all about. Usually shut the curtains. It's you and Lady Gaga, same problem. Yeah. Shut the curtains. I do have a dress made of meat, so you're right. So there you go. A dress made of meat. In the next episode we're going to wear his meat dress. Oh my God. So anyway, that is probably, I think, the best. I don't know. I think we have a whole lot of advice other than eating out or going to a bar or restaurant. The same as almost everything else. But if you're dealing with some of those other more cognitively-based things, you really got to take an active role in working on that. Like, yes, I'm afraid of being judged or I'm afraid of looking silly and I'm afraid of vomiting or I'm afraid of choking in front of people. You can't expose yourself to things, so you got to just take an active role in working on the cognitive part of that. You just have to. I don't think people forget, you know. Yeah, yeah. I suppose because we talk a lot about just doing it, but that is some, yeah, that's a different aspect in it. Because people do ask about social anxiety a lot, but I don't really have major experience because my social anxiety is purely linked to a fear of doing something rather than I don't really care what other people think. Like I never really have. So I guess, you know. So it doesn't matter. I know. Which I'm guessing for somebody with social anxiety, it must seem so foreign. Yeah, yeah. Like I could sit in a restaurant. I might spill soup in my lap, but I couldn't be less interested. Look at me, don't look at who cares. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But so I think we were talking about just doing it. If you're dealing with those more cognitive related things, just doing it means you got to start taking an active role in that work. You could do that work too. You could change your thought patterns. So it's a thing. It's an actual real thing. And I'll just add to that. It has nothing to do with going and just laying on a therapist sofa and talking about mom and dad. Like that isn't it. There's specific types of therapies that are designed to identify, help you identify. Well, now, oops, I'm thinking that thing again. You know, follow it through. And you work on those things when you're not in a restaurant in sort of high anxiety mode. You work on it, you know, when you're feeling good. You have worksheets. You follow your thoughts through to the logical conclusions. You play out the worst case on paper. And then you can challenge that. Well, the worst case is somebody doesn't like me. OK, what does that mean? And you can work through all those things in a logical way as opposed to when you're being fueled by fear and anxiety. So when you get into that actual situation of being in the restaurant or the bar, you can fall back on those techniques that you taught yourself while you, in the comfort of your own home, feeling OK. Yeah, yeah. All right, I'm thinking this. So that means I have to do this, this, this, and this. And it's super uncomfortable in the beginning. But as you get better, like anything else, you start to put those tools in practice, you better. So people do overcome things like social anxiety. They do. It's not a life sentence. And there you go. So I don't know. What else do we got? I think we could apply this to restaurants, concerts, bar, almost any public situation. It is, yeah, yeah. And like I keep saying, the doctors think really reinforce that for me yesterday. Yeah. Because it was just like, I know that I'm feeling like this. And I know that I'll feel that exact same thing whatever it is that I'm doing. So for me, that's my condition. My condition is, well, my issue, my disorder is being in these situations. It doesn't matter what it is. It's when I'm out of the car or out of the house. That's when it's an issue. So it doesn't matter what it is. Yeah, yeah. Like even walking around the castle, that was an issue. Like it completely different. It's not even in a building. No. But it's the same exact issues. Yeah, yeah. And my guess would be that if you went and did that castle walk 16 times in the next two weeks, so it became boring to you and you're no longer anxious. It would actually improve your restaurant situation. Yeah, yeah, definitely. Like some measure. Yeah, yeah, it would. So, you know, there's that. We want to take a look at some of the comments that people had posted about this in the forum. Let's do it. I'm just starting to stop sweating a bit now. I see that. I'll look. Let's see. How do I? Laura Karnarski, my friend Laura, how do I get through being in a heavily crowded place without seeing an exit in sight? Like the mall or yesterday? Oh, Laura's in my neck of the woods. Yesterday she was in New York City at Rockefeller Center. And there were so many people. And you're just sandwiched between them searching for how to get out, made my anxiety so much worse. I think the answer to that question is kind of the same as anything else. Like, why do you think? So, Laura, why do you think you need an exit? Yeah, yeah. Why do you have to? What do you need to get out from? You need to get out from how you feel and what you think. So the object of the game here is to be in that situation where you do not exit. Or if there's no exit, so be it. There's always an exit. There's no place we can't get out unless you committed a crime and you're in jail and you can't get out. But otherwise, without seeing an exit in sight, like you must put yourself in those situations where you cannot see an exit. Because if you think you still need an exit, why? Why do you need an exit? Yeah, yeah, still fearing that. Right. The same thing happened with me. And I'm going to go back to it because I'm just a broken record. No, it's totally fine. Like when I was halfway round the top of the castle, there was only one way back down. And I reached the halfway point and I had that flash in fear. It was like, shit, whichever way I go, I've got the same distance. Yeah. And I was thinking to myself, I need to go. I need to like rush and get out of here. But then I challenged it. And it was at that moment that it all just disappeared. Like it was mad. Because we've talked about that so many times. Like if you have that flashing fear and if you act on it, then it just gets worse until you're out of the situation. Right. I made a different decision. It was just, I ain't running. Like I'm just going to slow down, in fact. Yeah. Nothing happened. You did the opposite of what your initial instinct told you to do. And so much of this. First time in a long time. First time in a long time that I've challenged that thought. Usually I would act and speed up and get out. Yeah. No. And you know, do the opposite is like something we've talked about in the past. It's almost the best advice you can give yourself at any given time. What should I do? The opposite of what I initially think I want to do. So Laura, if you think you need to find an exit, do the opposite. Stop looking for the exit. And like panic if you must, because the object of the game is have a panic attack at rock. And I understand, believe me, I've been in Rockefeller Center, especially now at Christmas time, it is just jam packed with people all want to see the Christmas displays. And especially put the giant tree up. It gets crazy. So I understand that. But the object of the game is if you're going to put yourself in that situation, just then do it. Like don't do it and think, well, I'll do this, but only if I know I can get out. Because why do you need to get out? If you panic, then panic. Who cares? You need to learn that even panic. It's not the end of the world. It won't hurt. You won't kill you. And if you just let it happen, it'll subside after seven, eight, nine minutes. And you're fine. Go and look at the tree some more. So be prepared. Be prepared to panic. Right. Be prepared. Like you want to feel that way. I mean, sometimes, let me back up a little bit. Sometimes it's not about, sometimes you just want to go out to talk about restaurants. So we'll bring it back to that. But Laura, how do I get a crowded place like a restaurant where you think there's no exit? Once you've ordered the food, there's no exit? I get it. It's not always exposure. So sometimes, and maybe in Laura's case, like that that was just what the family was doing. So she wasn't treating it necessarily as exposure. And I get that. It's not always exposure. Sometimes it's just after your daughter's dance recital and you're going for ice cream, and that's it. So I get it. Sometimes it's difficult to always think of everything as like having a plan and exposure and doing this on purpose. Sometimes you don't want to do that. Yeah. Anyway, how do I think we should have a how do I fly? How do I ferry? How do I go on the two hour Eurostar tunnel? Yeah, I need help with that one as well. How do I fly? You know what? We could do that. That's another good one. How to travel. I could definitely speak to that. I could definitely speak to that. Because from like a little bit afraid to leave the house, sometimes a lot afraid to like go anywhere now or come see you at a passport. And Laura says, yes, or how do I go on vacation? We'll do that. Maybe we'll do that next week. That'll be the next one. How do we travel? Let's see. That was about all we got. Is that it? We had no love in the comments today. It's too early for these people. We did. We had love, but it was early. It was early in the US when you posted for sure. That's fine. So next week, we'll do travel. I think that's a good idea. Yeah, yeah, definitely. I like the experience with that. Anything else you want to add on this? Not that I'm enjoying this. Me too. It's working out great. It was. Yeah, yeah. You were until the whole window episode. Yeah, yeah. That's kind of threw me off of it. It was good exposure. It was. Honestly, I would have had no idea. If you didn't say that it kind of freaked you out, I would have never known. Yeah, yeah. Never known so much. Nobody could know and would have ever known that you got a little flustered over that. Yeah, yeah. But that's OK. We'll have edited that. My master of disguise. You are. You are. You're like a chameleon. So I guess next week, we'll do travel. This is pretty good. We're 37 minutes in and we're going to take some edit, take some footage out, so it'll be less than that. But we're like, if you're watching this now with us, like we're having a watch party. So if you're watching it after, then I apologize. But yeah, hello. Hi. It's not fucking live. OK, everybody thought it was live. Oh, that is so funny. Everybody thought it was live. I was getting messages after saying, oh, I thought it was live. It was like, no. Yeah, I'm sitting here watching you. Why aren't you answering my question? You're not acknowledging. What are you vaping? What are you vaping? Let's just this is Billy's not going to tell you what he's vaping and I'm not going to tell you about dying my beard. So that's the internal. I'm going to put like a frequently asked questions thing on my website. Well, number one, what am I? Q A none of your business stuff. Keep fighting. All right, I think we're good. I think that's it. Yeah, man. Yeah, yeah, I'm going to kill the recording. We kind of we kind of we kind of got it. Yeah, I'm pretty. Wait, wait, wait, before you go, before we go. Yes, subscribe on YouTube. You're going to upload this to YouTube. You know, I am. I'm going to do both of them. I'm going to upload next week, last week's now. So OK, so we'll be a week behind. Yeah, that's cool. So whichever place you're watching this, whichever channel minor Billy's, hit the subscribe button. Damn it. I'm not going to put it on mine. Oh, you're not going to put it on yours. You are. You are quite. You are quite the good friend. Please help me out. Get to that magic house. We're getting you there. So like you hit the thumb. What are you supposed to do? Hit the thumbs up button. You got to like it and subscribe. Yeah, like, comment, leave a comment. Hit the subscribe button, but hit the little bell icon and then you'll be notified every time Drew uploads on his channel. See, there you go. See, I'm going to hire you. You can be my YouTube marketing consultant. But like really, no, truly, like wherever you happen to be seeing this, whether it's YouTube or Facebook or whatever, my website or wherever, just and you have a question, leave it. Like we'll always see it jump in. We'll try to answer it or suggestions for different topics. Yeah, yeah. If you have a question, you have a topic suggestions, throw it in there. But we're both going to see it no matter where it is and we'll jump in. No matter how late it is next year, we'll still answer the questions. Exactly. Awesome. All right. I'm going to end it here. See you guys later. Ta-da. Get the stop recording button.