 Alright, a ton of you begged me to watch this show you over on Netflix, so that's exactly what Tristan and I did last night, so let's talk about it. What is up everybody? This is Chris from the Rewired Soul, where we talk about the problem, but focus on the solution. And if you're new to my channel, my channel is all about mental health and what I like to do is pull different topics from the YouTube community or pop culture in general like Netflix to try to teach you how to improve your mental and emotional well-being. So if you're into that stuff, make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell. And quick announcement for all of you beautiful patrons out there, make sure you go check out the Patreon page because there's some updates on there. I'm trying to get in the rest of the questions for this month's Q&A. So if you haven't yet, go over there and ask your questions and do the other stuff I posted. But anyways, anyways, so yeah, I've gotten a ton of requests, a ton of requests to talk about you on Netflix and I'm an addict and once I start watching something I get into it so I binge, so I have to like dedicate blocks of time. But anyways, there won't really be too many spoilers in this. This is more so going to be me using examples from Episode 1. So Tristan and I are like Episode 4? I think, I think we're on Episode 4, so don't you spoil it for me down in the comments below. But anyways, I want to intertwine this with a topic that's also very fascinating to me, which is nice guys. So any of you who watch channels like Q-Star or Sorrow TV, you know exactly what I'm talking about, but I want to relate one of the main characters, Joe, to nice guys, right? So those of you who don't know what nice guys are, you've probably run into them, okay? You've probably run into them. I made a video a long time ago about confessions of a former nice guy, right? And real quick disclaimer, real quick disclaimer, I in no way shape or form am saying that nice guys are dangerous. But I've been meaning to make videos about this because there's a potential there. Like, and once you see what I'm about to read, you'll explain why, or you'll see why. So anyways, for those of you who don't know about nice guys, I went over to Reddit and just pulled up one of the top posts. And here's an example. Guy, do you want to date me? Hey, frickin' answer, B-word. And she says, please never contact me again. And he says, what the F? All I asked was for you to date me. You didn't answer. And she's like, I already have a boyfriend and you know that. And he's like, you mean that blank guy? He's such a jerk. I don't get why you like him. You deserve someone better. And she says, LMAO as in you. You keep insulting me. Do you really think it makes me want to date you? And here's where it gets good. Dude's like, I'm a nice guy. I would treat you like a princess. No, you just have to go with that other dumb guy. And she says, yes, because that's totally what someone nice would say. I'm blocking you. And he says, effing not nice girl. I censored it, but you guys can see it up on the screen. But anyway, it's like something about nice guys is there's delusion. There's a huge, huge lack of self-awareness. What fascinates me too is this. This is just something I'm thinking about. I'm imagining how many nice guys are watching this show over on Netflix. And they're in complete denial. Like they're watching and they're like, well, this guy, Joe, he's really creepy. I don't get it, right? Like it reminds me of back when I was in my active drug addiction and alcoholism. And I would watch that show Intervention. And I'd be like, whoa, those people are messed up, right? There's this huge lack of self-awareness. By the way, that's one of the reasons why I use YouTubers as examples to talk to you. Because some of you are watching YouTubers thinking about how messed up their life is when you're living the exact same way, all right? But anyways, Joe is similar to a nice guy. And those of you who haven't watched the show yet, again, no real spoilers. There's kind of the synopsis of it. From the start, first episode, Joe works in a bookstore. Beck is the female main character. She comes in and he's just, boom, infatuated with her. He's love at first sight type of thing. And it gets just kind of creepy. And he starts stalking her, right? But it's an interesting show because it's pretty much all from the perspective of Joe, right? The stalker. And it's just super creepy and all these other things. But anyways, like I said, we're on episode four. It's really good so far, just real quick critique. There's some major plot holes and stuff where you're like, oh, come on, really. But anyways, it's a good show so far. And Tristan and I are going to watch more episodes after this. But looking at the first episode, like Joe definitely seems like a nice guy. And don't get me wrong, they're a nice girls too. So in this video, I just want you to kind of look for the signs or even understand some of the thought process and psychology of this other person. Not saying it's right because like I said, a lot of it is delusion and lack of self-awareness. So when they first meet in the bookstore, you hear Joe's narrative, right? And what nice guys tend to do is they look for signs where there are not signs, all right? So Joe, as he's talking to Beck, he's like, oh, you're doing this, like, you know, to flirt with me or to do this or do that, like you want me to notice you and all of this. And then when Joe actually goes and like starts his like stalking and finds out where she lives and he goes through like her social media and he's like, oh, you want this, like that, right? And like, this is part of the psychology of nice guys. They're sitting there and they're turning, they're turning very small, insignificant things into signs. Like you're doing this for me. Like Donna from Psych IRL actually just did a video the other day about the whole James Charles stalker situation and how it's happened to other YouTubers. I forgot what term she used for it, but like there's this thing where people like see signs where like, oh, they're sending like messages straight to me, right? And that's really not the case. And this is what a lot of nice guys are doing. And it's totally unfair to the other person, right? Because especially in the culture that we live in today and you know, whatever it is, like there's a lot of people out there who are like, oh, well, you know, like victim blaming, if you will. Like, oh, well, if you didn't want me to notice you, why would you leave your Instagram profile public? And like all these other things, it's like, what? Really? What's actually interesting too is if you watch my video about Jenna Marbles and Julian, is that I talked about the experiment from Dr. Daniel Simmons, which is selective attention, right? And in that video, I discussed how it's been proven that our brain sees what we train it to see. So if you are infatuated with somebody or somebody's infatuated with you, if they are purposely looking for signs and trying to look for those signs, what they're doing is they're rewiring their brain in a negative way to only see the good things. So by the way, if this happens to any of you and I know I have many viewers who struggle with like borderline personality disorder and things like that, like if you struggle with any of the issues that I've just talked about, this is why you need a support group and this is why you need to talk to people, right? Like you need to like ask your friends like, yo dude, you think she's flirting with me or hey girl, you think he's flirting with me or whatever you're into, all right? But like that's why you bounce things off because somebody can say, no, I think she just doesn't know how to put blinds up on her window. You know, like you need other people to kind of offer you that clarity because if you're training your brain to see these signs, that's all you're gonna notice and it puts you in this delusional state. All right, so another common symptom of nice guys is when Joe finds out about Benji. So also in episode one, we're introduced to the character of Benji. Benji is this kind of dumb rich guy player or whatever when we first meet him, he had just like been cheating on Beck or whatever. And you know, so what nice guys do, like Joe in this scenario, he keeps thinking about like, why are you dating this type of guy? Why are you doing this? Like a lot of guys who get quote unquote friend zone, they're thinking about that. They're sitting there watching all the times you've been hurt or whatever it is, right? So he's sitting there seeing how poorly Benji's treating her and he thinks that he's gonna come in and save the day. Like here's the thing, this is partially a sign of codependency too. Like it is not your job to run around saving anybody. And let me tell you like, I, like I said, I made a video confessions of a former nice guy, like from what I learned, like for those of you who have seen my video about why you date who you date, like I was looking for people to save. That's what my brain was focused on. And that's not healthy. That is not healthy. When I met my beautiful girlfriend, Tristan, she didn't need to be saved. You know, that's how you start a healthy relationship. So if you're looking for someone to save, be careful. Be very careful about that. Like humans are not projects. People don't need to be saved. We're actually watching that show, Love After Lockup. Tristan, is the new episode of Love After Lockup on? I don't know. Okay, we're gonna find out after that. But there's a guy on Love After Lockup right now and his whole thing is like, he wants to save this girl. I'm like, oh dude, you are whoo, whoo, whoo. That is no good. Actually most of the guys on there are like that. Really weird. But anyways, this is another symptom of nice guys. But they also create this imaginary world in their head where they're going to just make this girl's life perfect and they obsess on that, right? But again, like I showed you from that Reddit post, there's a lot or there's a huge lack of self-awareness where they don't balance that, where they can't see that. Like something that I've noticed about nice guys is this issue with not only self-awareness but emotional regulation. So I wonder what would happen if a bunch of nice guys started to meditate and strengthen their prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for self-awareness, impulse control, and emotional regulation. You know what I mean? Because they fly off the handle, they start off being nice, then they start name calling and all these other things. So that's the other thing that's interesting about Joe is like for any of you watching or wondering or wanting to make videos about this, like this is just a fictional TV show. Like Joe, he's a psychopath, you know what I mean? Like most people who have the same symptoms as Joe would not be able to keep it together like that the way he is. So he's pretty psychotic, all right? But anyways, anyways, if you would like me to do more videos about nice guys or nice girls, let me know down in the comments below because I think there's a lot that we can learn and warning science to look for if we're out there in the dating world or whatever it is, all right? And let me know if you're watching you. But if you do, don't spoil the show for me or anybody else, all right? Anyways, that's all I got for this video. If you liked this video, please give it a thumbs up. If you're new, make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell because I make a ton of videos. And a huge, huge thank you to everybody supporting the channel over on Patreon. You are all amazing. And if you would like to become a patron, click the tap right there, all right? Thanks so much for watching. I'll see you next time.