Sam Hyde stand-up - Nov. 29th, 2012 (single mothers, your baby, girl pigs, kick my ass)

The bit about the license plate in the beginning--there was this shit-piece couple in the audience talking on their phones ("yea gurl, you know wassup, at some comedy show watchin' some lame niggas try an be funny") and eating Chinese food, and just generally being two rude eyesores. I saw them outside hotboxing their car with Newports (to really enjoy the second-hand smoke I guess) and used the threat of towing to get them outta the room. I kinda wish they'd stayed because my backup plan was to say: "hey dude, would you mind putting a muzzle on your ho?"

This time around I got banned for good, ostensibly for going one minute over time but I think it was because when I said "you fuckin' pussies" I was looking right at the event organizer. He sent me a bunch of weepy messages on Facebook about what slime I am. I will be back for at least one more stand-up, and this time I'll bring with me screenshots of our conversation and air our dirty laundry for all the cool comedy fans to see. Stay tUnE-d.

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