 Hello and welcome to Understand Men Now. I'm Jonathan Asley of JonathanAsley.com and I'm so excited to be doing this live stream for you today. Our topic, the seven hot ways to kiss a guy to drive a guy wild. I'm excited about this one. All right, really quickly, if you're brand new to my YouTube channel, please hit the subscribe button, hit the bell so you can be notified of new videos. And if anytime during this video, the content resonates with you, please hit that like button so I can be seen in the YouTube algorithms. Really quickly, my coaching style is called heart-centered radical honesty. It's direct, a little tough love and a lot of heart. And occasionally I use expletives to enhance a sentence. So if an F bomb or two isn't your cup of tea, I suggest logging off right now. Lastly, these are my thoughts, my perceptions, my opinions, by no means do I suggest this is the truth. You have to decide the truth for yourself. I'm a bit of a contrarian, so quite a bit of my advice is contrary to public opinion, so you have to sip through it to find out what feels true for you. All right, let's talk about those seven hot ways to kiss a guy to make him drive you or drive him wild. So I gotta be candid with you. What the heck am I doing talking about kissing? Because this isn't my area of expertise. My area of expertise isn't about, per se, sexuality or that sort of thing. And I wanna be very candid up front. I saw this title on one of my contemporary channel. And I noticed it got a lot of views, so I thought, well, maybe my audience would be interested in this. So I wanna share with you today that the content I created today is actually something I just copied and pasted off the internet. So I wanna be very transparent with everyone here. What I'm about to share, well, I do believe is very true for men. I just didn't write this content on my own. So I just wanted to be transparent about that. And I also started to think about kissing in general. I don't know about you, but I love kissing. Oh my gosh, in fact, it's been a while since I, well, it's been a while since I've really had a passionate kiss with someone. And I don't know if you're in the same boat, but I know it's been a while for me. And I'm a guy who loves kissing. I love PDA. I know many men don't like PDA stands for those who are not familiar. PDA stands for public display of affection. I know a lot of men don't like that. I know a lot of men don't like kissing. And I know a lot of men do like kissing. In fact, when you go on a first date with something, guys, one of the things we want at the end of a date, well, it doesn't have to always be at the end of the date, but during a date would be a kiss to know that there's some affection between two people. So, and I'm gonna assume many of you are like me that you love kissing, you like PDA, you like that sort of thing. So we're gonna lean into some ways to kiss that might make a difference in the future for you. And certainly if you aren't actively dating someone, hopefully this will rev up your juices to go, I wanna go out and get out on a date because I wanna have a kiss. And let me just say this, I don't mean this in any disingenuine way or nefarious way. I'm just saying much like, I mean, and kissing is actually a very intimate thing. So I get that on some level, kissing can be more intimate than other acts of affection. So I get while that, many people might be some hesitant, might be reluctant. And with what I just said a moment ago, and at the same time, I go, what's the point of dating if you're not going to wanna be affectionate with someone? What's the point of dating if you're not going to explore the physical side because then you might as well just accumulate a bunch of friends in your life. And I know if you're like me, I don't need more friends in my life. And I don't suggest that it wouldn't be beneficial to have good friends in my life. But at this point in my life, it's hard to make time for the ones that I do care about. I don't mean the making time, just everybody making time. So, okay, I'm going off on a tangent here. So I wanna read you a couple quotes I found on the internet to kind of lean into our conversation today. So I'm gonna put on my trusty glasses. I'm gonna show you my show notes right there, seven ways to kiss a man that drives him wild. And I wanna share with you one of my favorite quotes on kissing. This is something I read probably a decade ago. And I'm just gonna share it with you and I hope it resonates with you as well. So, and this is the quote. A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. Let me repeat that. A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. And that's by Ingrid Bergman. Now, I didn't fact check that, but I'm pretty sure she did say that, but I did find that on the internet. And I love that quote about kissing. It's when words become unnecessary, they become redundant. That's the time to kiss when it, like you've got nothing to say, and yet you're feeling a connection with another human being. That's the time to lean in and kiss. And whether it's the man taking the initiative or the woman taking the initiative. Certainly, I would hope that it's two people that feel a level of safety for one another. They feel a level of attraction for one another. They feel a level of familiarity with one another. I just don't mean to randomly go out and French kiss someone. Although, in many European cultures, it's very common to kiss someone on both sides of the cheek. So, what I'm really talking about the more sensual way of kissing, and that's what we're gonna lean into today. There's two other quotes I wanna share with you. The second, and I thought this was kind of interesting. This quote says, I think heaven will be like a first kiss. I think heaven will be like a first kiss. I just love that quote. The idea that when you're in heaven, it's like that first moment you kiss someone that you genuinely interested in that yet you're excited about and you just wanna just wrap yourself inside of them. To me, maybe that's what heaven is all about, that newness, that sensation of feeling connected with another human being or being connected to yourself. Whatever that description is, I just love that quote. And that was by Sarah Addison Allen. So, I'll repeat the quote. I think heaven will be like a first kiss. Sarah Addison Allen. And last but not least, I'm gonna take a quote from a song. I can't go across this on the internet. And I thought I'd share that before we dive into these seven hot ways to kiss a man to drive him wild. The quote, it goes like this. Close your eyes and I'll kiss you. Tomorrow I'll miss you. And that is by Paul McCartney. I'm gonna sing it again, but now I'll just sing the song. Close your eyes and I'll kiss you. Tomorrow I'll miss you. Oh, and I just went braindid on the balance of the song. Remember I'll always be true. So, love that quote by Paul McCartney or at least the lyrics by Paul McCartney. Close your eyes and I'll kiss you. Tomorrow I'll miss you. Great song, I love the Beatles. Hope you do too. And I hope you get a kick out of these quotes that I just shared. All right, let's talk about those seven ways to kiss a guy that drive him wild. So, number one, and again, these aren't mine. This is what I grabbed from the internet and I wanted to share with you. But number one says, prepare your lips beforehand. Prepare your lips beforehand. I know many women use lip gloss. You use chapstick, that sort of thing to glossen up your lips and make them a little bit more inviting. So it might even be the lick of lip like that. That is a very sensual thing to do to a man. And it certainly, it makes it more inviting and more enticing for a man to wanna kiss you when you do that little lip rub or you put on that gloss and that sort of thing. That's very sexy and I know it drives many men wild. Now it might not be all men because for some men are quite frankly crude. Some men are unconscious to even physical intimacy. I'm talking about those red-blooded males that are genuine into wanting to kiss. Very sexy thing to do is prepare your lips ahead of time. Number two, give subtle hints. You are ready to kiss them. I remember once some years ago, I was on a date with a woman and she just point outset. I mean, it wasn't a subtle hit, it was a blatant hit. I just wanna kiss you. And she just leaned in and gave me a kiss. I, we were sitting at a bar and this was our second date and she was sitting across from me and she just said, and she just goes, I just find you so attractive and she just leaned in and wanted to kiss me. And while that was subtle or blatant or not, boy, was that a huge turn on for me. I really liked that woman. I was actually kind of bummed out. She was going through a lot of emotional stuff in her life and she would admit that she was a train wreck at that time. And I was a little bummed. We couldn't see each other more frequently. But I will tell you, I remember this to this day. This was a couple, three or four years ago. She just leaned in and said, I wanna kiss you. So subtle, not so subtle, but I think that's a great clue. Okay, and here's the third one. It says, start kissing your guy softly and slowly at first. Softly and slowly at first. So, you know, some people maul each other when they kiss and that certainly can be attractive. And then there's those that are gentle, soft, kind, loving, affectionate. I think if you're like me, you like all variations and my hope is you are as well. But there's something very sexy when it's soft and slow to get started and there's a little bit of buildup, you know, maybe even touching of the face. You know, I find it very attractive to do that. I need to bump someone off the live stream here. So, because we got a spammer. Okay, so thanks for letting me do that. Number four, switch things up while you're kissing. In other words, switch up the tongue, move things around. Maybe it's body movement, stuff like that. Is switch things up. That's a very sexy and hot way to drive a guy wild. Kissing his neck, kissing his ear, that sort of thing. That's certainly when you switch things up and kissing. And by the way, everything I'm sharing here, I wanna say men should be doing the same thing too. This isn't singular to women doing this for men. My hope is that you feel that this is equally wild for you. So let me set that stage that it's a two-lane street in this capacity, okay? Number five, and this is one of my favorites. You use your teeth softly while kissing. Use your teeth. I love when someone bites the bottom of my lip and just uses their teeth a little bit, not from a dominant perspective and not something from a masochistic perspective, but something from a sensual perspective. Even a little bit of domineering perspective in there certainly has some sensuality and some sexuality associated to it when we use a bit of our teeth and just a little bit rough. And I mean it in the softest, gentlest way, rough, okay? Oh, this is one of also my favorites as well. This is number six, is tilt your head to the side during a kiss. I love that, I love that. Just the tilt of the head, just a little bit of a head movement. That is very sexy. So, sorry, we gotta block someone who's spamming my channel right now, so please forgive me. Gosh, we are really having a hard time here with someone who is spamming my channel. Okay, and last but not least, number seven, number seven, let the guy kiss you and lead. Let the guy kiss you and lead. I think that's a great way to, certainly men wanna take the lead, women, I think it's sexy when a woman takes the lead, when a man takes the lead, but certainly when they take the lead, just let the guy do it some, okay, I wanna be clear. Listen, if you have no intention of kissing a guy, then I certainly would create enough space so he doesn't feel like there's an opportunity to do that. However, if you are actually, it's like in that scene hit pitch. If a man leads in, he should come in 90% of the way, then you come in 10% of the way when the man is taking the lead, and that's only if you genuinely want to kiss that person. So allow him to take the lead. I'm actually thinking of a time when I went to go lean in to give a woman a kiss and I got that cold shoulder, if you will, and it felt very discouraging. So I certainly would, if you're not intending to kiss a man, keep your space so he doesn't feel like it's okay to do that. But if he does lean in 90% of the way, then come 10% of the way to him, okay? All right, so those are seven hot ways to kiss a man that drive him wild. I hope you had some value in this year today. I'd definitely like to hear your thoughts. I'll certainly post a comment. This is gonna now begin our Q&A portion of this live stream. So for those who are familiar with my work, if you have a question to ask me, post the word question, write the question there after, or you can purchase a Super Sticker or Super Chat for those who are in live right now on YouTube. At the bottom of the chat box is a dollar sign. All the monies collected from the Super Sticker, Super Chat goes to a scholarship fund in the name of my son, Connor Asley. That's a picture of him right there. That's my son who passed away a few years ago. We started a scholarship fund in his name to defray of cost of personal development for folks who are seeking help in the area of personal development and also giving to the personal development charities I most care about. So again, purchase the Super Sticker, Super Chat in the name of Connor Asley. And again, you can post the question, write the word question, then post the question thereafter. Now, before I begin, I do have some, oh. So we do have one quick question. Question is, is light lipstick a turn off? Is light lipstick a turn off? I'm actually glad you asked this question, Nina. So I am not a big fan of lipstick. And what I mean to say is that bright red lipstick that looks almost painted on. I'm just saying for me personally, I can't speak for everyone else. When I see that, it looks like it's been quite frankly, really thick. And I also have a resistance of wanting to kiss someone that has bright red lipstick because of smearing, getting on my clothes, that sort of thing. I'm just sharing with you my personal experience. I'm not a big fan of it. I also believe, I think part of, I'm gonna be candid with you with my hangup. I think I tend to associate that bright red lipstick I really feel ashamed to say this. I'm having a real struggle saying this out loud. I think in my psychology, it feels like some, and I know a lot of women wear this lipstick. So I'm having a hard time saying this out loud. I think of someone who might be a stripper or something like that. I know that doesn't sound rational, but there is some conscious feeling. I think maybe that's been indoctrinated with all the print ads and things like that. I just know that I find that unattractive. I can't speak for other men. Certainly other men might feel different about that. I'm only sharing my experience this way. But I certainly don't like kissing women that have heavy lipstick on because it smears, it gets on my clothes. I just know this is my personal opinion here. I don't know what women, what you women experience in this area. Some of you might feel one way about it. Some of you might feel other way. I'm just being authentic here. It was very vulnerable for me to share that because I feel like I might get attacked for that. And I'm here to just share with you my experience. So I hope there was some value with that. And thank you so much for that question. I really, really appreciate it. Okay, let's keep going here. All right, question from River Chick 23. Can you tell a guy has feelings for you through a kiss? Can you tell a guy has killings? So that's a great question. You know, here's the thing. Kissing is a very intimate thing. So we can agree on that. And I certainly am a big proponent of kissing. The thing is we have to look at feelings and stages. And so let's get clear on something. There are three stages to love. There are three stages to love. Stage one is I need my needs met. I need my needs met. Every human being operates from a place of selfishness. Now, I don't mean selfishness in the sense of being unkind to another human being. I'm talking about having our own needs met first. Ladies, you do it, men do it. We are focused on going out with people that meet our needs. So we operate from that place, okay? So going back to the question, does kissing make a guy give feelings? In the moment, that can be true. He can have feelings. Now, the feeling is, you know, sexuality, eroticism, all of those feelings, it doesn't necessarily mean feelings for you. Okay, stage two of love is genuinely caring about the other person's feelings. Genuinely caring about the other person's feelings. So let me give you an example. And I've shared this before and I'll share this many times. So my ex-girlfriend, who I was in a significant relationship with, used to want to, anytime we went out to a restaurant, she would want me to yelp the restaurant and read the reviews from the five star to the one star, because that was important to her. And I would do that for her. And the only frustration I had with that is every time we would read a one star review, she would never wanna go to that restaurant. It could have been a premier restaurant. But that was important to her. So I wanted to accommodate her feelings. Stage three of love is the person's feelings become your feelings. The person's feelings become your feelings. So interestingly enough, it got to the point where no longer was I yelping it for her, I was yelping it for me. Her feelings became my feelings. So going back to the original question about this kissing create feelings, it certainly creates feelings of sexuality, of sensuality and that sort of thing, but can it actually mean that they care about you? Well, you have to go through the layers of love, the stages of love to reach that point of actually having genuine feelings. And I always say, folks, it takes about a hundred hours of face to face time, face to face time to build the first layer of trust, the first layer of trust with another human being. This is why I'm not suggesting waiting a hundred hours to kiss, but I'm certainly say it takes about a hundred hours to genuinely develop real feelings for someone that isn't just surface level feelings that go beyond the surface into actually caring about that person's feelings and maybe even that person's feelings becoming your own feelings as well. And if you need some help and support with that, I highly recommend you all checking out my book What the Heck Is Self Love Anyway? What the Heck Is Self Love Anyway? There's a link below to get my book. Why I'm bringing up my book right now is when we love on ourself, it doesn't matter how someone else feels about us, we feel strong about ourselves. And that's what I invite everybody to do because it's not about whether the man is catching feelings for you. What matters most is, are you catching feelings for him and is this a reciprocal arrangement and not a one-sided streak? Does that resonate with you? I hope it does. And that was a great question. So I wanna thank you so much. All right, I wanna thank Suzette right now for the super sticker. And her question is, just like high school, I'm still at a loss as to what to do when a guy kisses with the tongue down your throat technique. About 50% still do this at my age. I am probably guilty of that. I'm probably guilty of that. So the question was, what to do? You know, this is a very tricky thing. I'm thinking back to a time, now I'm gonna share the opposite of this. I once, I remember this was right after my divorce. I met a woman and we actually had some mutual friends. We went to high school together and I'll never forget our first kiss. It was almost as if there was no tongue coming from her. It was like, I don't know if you've ever kissed someone. It's the opposite of the tongue driving through. It was like no tongue there. And it was almost like, I thought I was kissing a high school girl. I mean, that's how I felt. Like someone naive at the time, although she was a grown adult in her 40s. And so I actually, and I was really turned off by it until we actually went out on a second date. And our second kiss got a little more passionate and the third date, third kiss became more passionate. And what I mean to say is, sometimes people start off one way, but they get the hint when you start to shift, like going back to some of the things I laid out before, when you start to shift the way you are, there's a chance that they may accommodate you. I certainly wouldn't shame the person by telling them that their kissing was awkward or bad. I certainly wouldn't do that. And at the same time, I invite you to be open and forthright. Coming back to my book, chapter one in my book, what the heck is self love anyway? Speak your truth, do it with kindness. And if it's sincere and from the heart, you can't really say the wrong thing to the right person. So you might want to speak up or might want to talk about it, maybe not in the moment that you're doing it, maybe the later date, be inquisitive. Just say, hey, can I share something about you in the way I kiss? So come from I statements, the way I kiss and I tend to kiss this way. And I just wanted to know how you feel about that. So come from I statements and then invite the question. That's one possible way of approaching it rather than shaming the person or telling them they're doing something wrong. Just like that woman who turned her cheek on me, that the minute she did that, I was literally so embarrassed, so ashamed. I really had no interest in asking her out because again, because I felt so embarrassed and so ashamed. Invite you not to shame a person for their behavior. Just share with you from your I statements how this felt and maybe you can create a conversation around that. That's just one way of approaching it. I'm sure there's multiple ways of approaching it but that's what comes to mind right now. So real quickly, Suzette, thank you so much for that question and I appreciate the super sticker as well. Connor Asley Fund appreciates that. And again, if you like to purchase a super sticker, super chat, there's a little dollar sign at the bottom of the chat box. And again, all those funds go to the Connor Asley Scholarship Fund. All right, Suzette followed up with thank you. I've never said anything just focused on lips and mouth, backing up for the error. Thank you so much, I appreciate that. All right, let's see what else we have going here. If you have a question, write the word question and post the question there after. I'd really appreciate that. So let's see, let's go swim men, let's go swim men. Vivian says, do you demonstrate kissing in your master classes? Oh, you know what, folks? I'm gonna tell you a quick story before I take the next question. I had a friend of mine. So most of you know I'm single and looking for love. And I find it interesting that here I am as a dating coach and I'm struggling with finding a life partner just like many of you. And I was actually talking to my therapist about this. And when I say my therapist, I'm blessed to have many people in my life who are therapists, who are coaches, who are counselors and that sort of thing. So let me retract that. Someone who's a dear friend of mine who happens to be a therapist. And she said something very interesting to me. She said, Jonathan, what if on your spiritual path, you are actually meant to be single right now to actually experience all of the frustrations that your clients are experienced. So you actually come from a place of understanding, from a place of compassion, from a place of empathy. Unlike many of your contemporaries who got married when they were in their 20s and 30s, you're actually at midlife going through, you went through divorce, you went through alimony, you went through child support and visitation rights, you even went through the loss of a parent and then eventually a loss of a child. And so your life experience, you actually come to the table quite a bit different than many of your contemporaries. And she went on to say, look, what you're experiencing is so you can actually have greater empathy when you're working with clients. And I actually leaned in and said, wow, you're right. Maybe this period of time in my life isn't meant to be in relationship. It's meant to learn to craft my work so I can continually be a better coach for you all. And so I share this with you because this is what I'm experiencing. And I know many of you experience the same frustration. Now, thankfully, thank God, thank God, thank God, thank God, my clients who work with me and I just got another call from a client who has just reached out and said, she just met a great guy and she can tell the difference. And I had another client who was literally, their relationship is official and my clients seemed to the minute they make the investment in my private coaching program, it's like all of a sudden the floodgates open. They literally begin to attract great guys. And so I'm grateful that while I'm suffering like many of you, and I say suffering with a little bit of tongue and cheek, also those who do work with me are actually reaching amazing results. So if you need some help with that, check out the link to a free discovery call to see if working with the coach is right for you. So let's jump into our next question. All right, Liana says, question. If a man lightly kisses you on the forehead, does that generally mean he's starting to form an emotional attachment? We've been dating about three weeks. Well, that certainly could mean, that certainly could mean a level of affection for you. I certainly could see that as a level of affection and some attachment towards you. Again, I'm a little bit, I'm a little bit of a, I was just about to use the word old school. And that's not true, I'm very new school. But I kind of rush in while the iron is hot. I honestly hope by the second or third date, there's an actual some affection for one another that includes kissing, that's me. I'm a very demonstrative, I'm very effusive, I'm very sensual, I'm very sexual. And my hope is to find a partner that feels the same way. Does that mean I wouldn't hold space for when they're ready to kiss? Absolutely I'd hold space. The only problem is, if I feel like there isn't, if I feel like I've been put into the friend zone because there isn't any real physical touch or amorous intentions going on, a lot of times men put women in the friend zone or women put men in the friend zone. So this is where it gets tricky. This is why many of my contemporaries talk about having a kiss on the first or second date as a way to progress the relationship forward. So you're not actually put into that position of being in the friend zone. So does that mean he's forming an emotional attachment? Here's the thing about emotional attachment. If you're not familiar with the book, Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller, I highly recommend reading this because a lot of times emotional attachment is coming from an unhealthy place of trying to meet an unmet need in your life. And I know what you meant from emotional attachment is actually from a healthy place. I also wanna say there's a lot of unhealthy attachment out there, which oftentimes is also the result of something called the Amago. And if you're not familiar with the work of Harvelle Hendricks and Helen Hunt, Getting the Love You Want, I highly recommend reading this book so you can understand why people choose unhealthy relationships in their lives with the wrong partner. So definitely check out those two bucks. But going back to you, certainly that is an affectionate thing, but it could also be affection in the area of friend zone and not sexual affection. So you might have to just lean in like that woman did I shared with you before. She just leaned in and gave me a kiss and boy, ah, I still, I still viscerally remember that. I remember the outfit she was wearing because it's so turned me on and I'm a red-blooded guy. So I'm just speaking from the heart here. So I hope that helps a little bit. All right, let's see what other questions we have. Oh, Jennifer says, you are such a Leo. Folks, I am a quintessential Leo. My birthday's on August 1st. The world revolves around me. Bum, bum, bum, just kidding. But I am very passionate. I'm very demonstrative. I like my main stroke. I did a video once talking about how men love their hair stroke for the men that do have hair. And thankfully, thank you mom and dad. That's a picture of mom and dad. Thank you for giving me the two most important qualities women look for in men. I happen to be six foot two and a full head of hair. Oh, I wanted to share something with you that was suggested to me by a friend of mine. This piggyback's what I was sharing earlier about being single. So one of my friends said, Jonathan, you have this amazing YouTube platform. Why aren't you meeting women on YouTube? And I'm like, well, first off, YouTube isn't like Facebook or isn't like Instagram. I can't open pictures and see a person's life. And he goes, well, why don't you do a bachelor audition? You're like one of those auctions, I mean, he said. And why don't you put up a questionnaire? Women will post pictures and then you auction off a date. And I thought that was, well, first off, I'm not going to do it, but I just thought it was so funny and so fun. But I wonder how I can use this medium to connect with my soulmate. And I think first, and why I'm sharing this with everyone is I want to invite you all to think of ways of how can you be seen by single eligible people? How can you find ways to be seen by single eligible people? Because the number one challenge today for most singles who are looking for love is being seen by single eligible people. When we're in our 20s and 30s, it's easy. Usually we're surrounded by single eligible people, at least from my days back in the 80s and 90s, it was much easier today, it's a lot harder. And sadly, these days, mostly the internet is the way we're connecting. But what are other ways? Facebook is another way, Instagram's another way. How can we be seen by single eligible people? It might be simply, you know what I'm going to do, I'm probably going to post my online date profile essay in my YouTube community channel with a photograph. But what I'm here to say is start telling people out loud that you're single, say that you're looking for love, start putting it on your Facebook page, start putting it on Instagram, put it out to the universe, say, hey, I mean, actually put it out like a message in the bottle, put it out there saying I'm single looking for love. Do you know of any? You know, I got a phone call last night from a friend and she said, Jonathan, I met this gal at a public event and she's single and I thought about connecting the two of you together. And I went and looked at the person's Facebook page and while she wasn't a fit for me, which is code for saying I wasn't attracted to her. I appreciate the effort because my friend knows I'm single, folks, we should be reaching out to our friends and saying, hey, do you know someone single and eligible that would like to meet me? I want to encourage everybody to start making more effort in this area so it's no longer a guessing game, you're actually taking control of your relationship destiny. And so I might put that bachelor auction on Facebook, I mean YouTube, well, we'll see about that. Anyway, just a fun thought that a friend shared with me. All right, I hope you got a kick out of that. Let's start taking more questions. Let's shift the conversation from kissing to something else. Lisette says, how young are you? I'm assuming that's for me. I'm just gonna say I was born at the last tail end of the baby boom generation. So I'll leave it at that. Oh, I'm always perpetually 49, I'm perpetually 49. All right, let's see what other questions we have. Let's go swim in. Adriana says, I'll go on a date with you. Would you, first, okay, you know what? And I appreciate that Adriana and I just want to say something. We have to be real folks. Physical attraction is an important part of this equation. I am sure ladies, you've had many men reach out to you interested in dating and they weren't your type. And just like myself, I have my own type. And what I mean by type, I don't mean that from a pigeonhole perspective. But certainly we have what's physically appealing to us. So when I say this out loud, and I said before, one of the challenges is with YouTube is there aren't any photographs and multiple photographs to see if there's mutual attraction, mutual chemistry. You're getting to visually see a video of myself. That I encourage you all to shoot a video for your channel, you all have a YouTube channel, shoot a video, and why not make it a dating video? Why not make it a video saying I'm interested in meeting single eligible men? Put a video out there of yourself. Why not? What's the harm in that? Now, lots of people can see it, okay? Now you might be private and you go, well, I don't want to put myself out there. Folks, listen, unless someone has your home address or telephone number, I mean, almost everybody has a social media footprint out there. You're on Facebook, you're on other forms of social media. So why not use YouTube as a platform? I'm just suggesting, why not shoot some videos, sharing a bit of your life, put it out there? You know what, I don't want anyone to live in fear and at the same time, I'd like you all to be safe. So don't be irresponsible, don't put provocative, don't have your, listen, I think a real big turnoff for a lot of men and women who have provocative online dating profiles because that screams low hanging fruit. I'm not suggesting that, I'm suggesting, show your sophisticated, self-sexy, self-love self out in the world. And who knows, the right guy might see it and go, I want to meet you. And then who knows what can happen? I'm just putting it out there. What do you think of that? Tell me what your thoughts on what I just suggested. Post a comment below. If this live stream is resonating with you, please hit that like button so I can be seen in the YouTube algorithms. I'd really appreciate it. All right. Sam says, it's a risk. I agree, it's a risk. Adriana says, thank you. I appreciate that. Someone says, but a good idea. Thank you, I appreciate that. All right, if you have a question, post the word question, write the question there after or purchase the Super Sticker Super Chat. Again, all the monies from the Super Sticker Super Chat goes to a scholarship fund in the name of my son Connor Asley. Oh, I'm looking at the picture right there. I remember taking that picture. He was such, I told him, give me your gang sign kind of thing. And I remember that lunch specifically. In fact, reminds me of a conversation I was having with a client who told me, and by the way, what I'm about to share is something I've heard more than once. I've heard this dozens of times, but she's been in communication with a man for several years, a long distance communication where they've just been on the phone talking. Now, in her world, they're in a relationship with each other. In my world, they're just pen pals. And most likely he communicates with her because he's feeding off of her female energy. He's feeding off of her female energy. And she's in belief that she's in a relationship with them and sure it's a virtual relationship. Here's the thing, ladies, men, nor do women remember any telephone call you've ever had. I have thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands of hours of telephone calls. I can't remember, well, actually no. I can remember one telephone call I've ever had in my life. It was the phone call I received from my ex-wife telling me my son had passed away. That's a phone call I'll never forget. And yet the tens of thousands of hours I've been on the phone and probably 20, 30, 40, 50,000 hours of phone calls I've had in my life, I can't remember one. But I can tell you with any woman I ever was in relationship with but I can remember the time we took a hike up to the Hollywood sign. I can remember that time we took a trip to New York. I remember that burning man party we went to. I remember that wedding we went to. I remember the time we took a trip to Chicago. I remember the time we took a trip to Vancouver. I remember the trips to San Diego. I can remember even what they were wearing on some of these trips. Folks, men do not bond through the telephone. Men do not bond through the telephone. In fact, we need to kiss you. That's how we bond through the physical connection with another human being. It's through social activities. It's through hobbies. It's through mutual interest. That's how we bond. We do not bond through the telephone. So so many of you are delusional thinking telephone calls count. They count for almost nothing until you actually physically spend time together. And yes, that includes kissing one another. Is this sinking in? I hope it is. All right, I just had to throw that out there. All right, bum, bum, bum. Vicki says Connor was so cute. Thank you, yes he was. Oh, I appreciate that. Let's see what else we have. Question, what are your thoughts on a 13 year age gap? Okay, hey, I'll be candid with you. I recently was flirting with a woman who's 15 years younger than me. My ego loves that, my ego loves that. I've also been in relationship with a woman who was 10 years older than me and I was also in relationship some years back with a woman who was 12 years older than me. So what do I think about age gap? Look it. One of the challenges I had with the woman that was older than me is generationally, the music we liked was quite a bit different, the way we view the world was quite a bit different. I do believe generationally, sometimes that can be a hang up, sometimes when it's a younger man, older woman, sometimes it can be the other way around. But I don't think it's a deal breaker, folks. Let's not get hung up on the trivial things. What matters most is how do you feel about each other? Do you enjoy each other's company? Are you intentional in the process? And rather than focusing on some of, I think that's trivial, let me backtrack. That's not fair to say it's trivial because it can be important. I'm just here to say, you know what? Don't get hung up on it at first, see where it goes, and then if there is some complications from it, then address those and see if they're fixable or if not. Because if you can't fix it because of an age gap, then move on. But anyways, maya feeling, go for it. Don't get hung up on, don't get blocked. All right. Oh, Sammy says, that's pen pals. Yes, I just quit a pilot between he offered me to marry him and come to his country. I declined to meet him. He has to be physical. Folks, any guy that says, fly out, come to my country, I want to marry you. That's such a crock of shit. It's just hyped up bullshit. Guys can't help. Then here's the thing. When a man is feeling lust or limerence, limerence is extreme infatuation. The shit that comes out of our mouth isn't real until you've spent at least 100 hours of face-to-face time over a period of six weeks. Minimum of six weeks, more like three months, spend 100 hours of face-to-face time to build the first layer of trust with another human being. So any bullshit that comes out of a guy, like my mom used to say, I always take what your father said with a grain of salt. I take what your father says with a grain of salt. Just remember what guys sometimes say, it's the actions over time that matters most, versus what's said in the immediate moment. And sometimes we can say all kinds of shit in the moment that we don't live up to later on. So I hope that helps. Thanks so much. All right. All right. Jane says, I've had a pen pal for months. He lost a family member recently and working all the time, meant to meet up in a couple of weeks. He's gone quiet for a week now. I'm going no contact. Well, that's not a question, but if you're asking me about that, listen folks, relationships are built through proximity, through proximity, the closer to people to live, the easier it is to get to know one another. Like I said a moment ago, it takes a hundred hours of face-to-face time, not telephone time, not texting time, not messaging time, not even FaceTime. It takes a hundred hours of face-to-face time to build the first layer of trust and you have to do social activities, hobbies, mutual interests, spending time with family and friends to build that trust with another human being. Trust cannot be built over the telephone. Can someone write that in the chat box? Trust can't be built over the telephone. Trust is built through actions. Being there for someone, for example, the woman I dated some years back, she was about to drive to do a radio show and she was gonna go to an unsavory part of town and I lived 30 miles from her. She calls me up, says, Jonathan, I've got a radio gig in two hours. Is there any way you can drive out here, pick me up and take me? Dropped everything I was doing and went there. I could do it in a blink of an eye. That demonstrates care, that demonstrates love, that demonstrates trust. She trusts enough to say, can you come out and help me? Folks, that's how trust is built through the tough times, not through the telephone calls about all the great things, all the great. Most of you guys are doing all these bullshit phone calls. It's like, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk. And it's not even real talk. It's talking at each other and not with each other. And I'm not, listen, I'm not speaking for everyone. I'm just noticing a pattern and I'm just drawing attention to it. A lot of bullshit rhetoric is going on. And if you're not vetting someone in a healthy way, you're setting yourself up for failure. This is why if you know my relationship iceberg, just remember this, the tip of the iceberg is chemistry. That's attraction. Below the iceberg is compatibility, shared values, blendable lifestyles, and emotional maturity. And that can only be discovered face to face. You can't discover these things over the telephone because it's not real until you're actually physically in someone's presence. Is this sinking in? Please let me know. All right, thank you for letting me rant there again. Jeanette says, trust cannot be built over the telephone. I know it can't. I'm glad you've said that, by the way. Thank you for writing that. All right, Nima says, so good this call. Video is gold. Thank you so much. I appreciate that Nima. All right, let's see. What other questions do we have? You know, we're gonna take, you know what, I'm gonna be wrapping up in a minute. If you have any more personal, today, I'm gonna take one more personal question. If you have a personal question for me, post it there. I'm gonna just take personal questions for the balance of this, and we're just gonna wrap up in a few minutes. So if you have a personal question for me, shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot. All right. Carolyn says, the representative versus the true self. Just like Chris Rock says, people show up as the ambassador of their best selves over the telephone. Can't build trust over the telephone. Shane Bernstein says, how to stop being jealous? Just stop. I, you know, I can't, that's something. Okay, most likely you have a childhood wound or trauma or an adult trauma that needs healing. I would highly recommend getting the book, The Hoffman Process, The Hoffman Process. Okay, this is a book to heal childhood wounds and traumas. Childhood wounds and traumas. Highly recommend getting this book. All right. Lisette asked me, Jonathan, what was the age of your first kiss? Okay, I'm gonna share my first kiss story. So I was 15 years old, the first real French kiss I had. I was 15 years old, my father and I were camping and we stayed at one of these KOA places. It was a father-son trip, but the place had a rec room where we were staying in a swimming pool and everything. And I was hanging out in the rec room with a bunch of young people. I was 15 years old at the time. And I met this girl named Gigi. Oh my God, she was like a netful of cello. Do you remember a netful of cello? For those of us that remember the Mickey Mouse Club. And she and I were, we had so much chemistry going on and she was 15 and I was 15 and a quarter. And we were just went swimming and we were hanging out in the rec room. And then we walked out to the campgrounds and I had a towel with me and I laid the towel on the ground and we sat down. And that was my first kiss. And I still to this day remember it and I've got a wacky story to tell you that goes with this. So I was enamored with her, but I was a kid. There was no cell phones. There was no business cards or anything like that. And I didn't, I don't recall if I got her number or whatnot or I gave her my number. We never connected. And a year later, I convinced my dad. I was so, all I thought about her was for a year I thought about her. And I convinced my dad the following year. I said, dad, we should do another father-son trip. And he goes, really? And I go, yeah, let's do it. Now I'm 16. And we went to this. I go, let's go to the same place we went last year. He goes, okay. Well, my motivation was because I wanted to meet Gigi again. So we went to the same campground and I hung out there for three days and she never showed up. Of course not. And she lived in Reno where this was at. I think it was Reno or something like that. Anyway, that's my first kiss story. It was Gigi. I'll never forget it. My first real kiss, French kiss anyway. So thank you for asking that question. I hope you got a kick out of me sharing that. All right, one more question. Oh, Vivian asked, when did you lose your cherry? Okay, this is gonna be the last question of the evening. All right. So, what was her name? Oh, Connie. So, when I was 16 years old or 15 years old, I used to go ice skating with friends. I used to, my mom got me into ice skating lessons. I tried hockey and then I got into figure skating. Now that's a very feminine kind of sport, but I just saw nothing but young girls and cute little outfits. And I'm like, I wanna do a sport where it's all young girls and cute outfits. And keep in mind, I was a below 18 years old. And we used to, and then what happened is, one of the things we used to do on Friday nights was go to the ice skating rink and go hang out with, and there was more women, as a guy, there was more women at the ice skating rink than men. Great environment to be in. One of those target-rich environments, as Tom Cruise said in the movie, Top Gun. And I met this gal, Connie, and she and I were about the same age. And anyway, his long story short, we connected, we lived near each other. We had sex a couple of times. That was the first time I popped my cherry. She ended up, I ended up introducing her to a friend of mine for some reason. We were out together. And next thing they knew, he swooped in, took her from me, which was okay because I wasn't that into her. I'll be candid. And I think they eventually got married. So my first, again, if you date me and it doesn't work out, there's a good chance you get married thereafter. I'm a good luck chuck. Anyway, that's my first, when I popped my cherry. It was the night before my 16th birthday. And that's my story on that one. So anyway, I really appreciate all the fun and the love on this one. I hope you found value in this livestream about the seven ways to kiss a guy that makes him wild. We're gonna repeat that and we're gonna wrap up for the evening. Number one, prepare your lips ahead of time. Number two, give subtle hints. You are ready to kiss. Number three, start kissing your guy softly and slowly at first. Number four, switch things up during a kiss. Number five, use your teeth when kissing a little bit. Tilt your head to the side and lastly, let the guy kiss you and lead by giving them the clues that you wanna be kissed. All right, I hope you've had some fun here today. I hope you enjoyed the personal questions. Thank you so much. If you found value, hit that like button. Share this with your friends. Tell people about my channel. And if you have any comments or questions, post them below and certainly purchase the Super Sticker Super Chat. And again, if you wanna purchase my book and all my recommended books, it's listed below. And if you wanna schedule a discovery call with me, check out the link below to a free call to see if working with a coach is right for you. All right, I'm gonna wrap up this video as I always do. First off, giving myself a big gigantic shot at the barrog of self love. I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay. I'm gonna ask you to turn to someone, a pet, a teddy bear or pillow and give it or them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love. And let's face it, we could all use more love in our lives. I wanna thank you a bunch. Bye now. I wanna say goodbye to Lisette and Didi and Jennifer. Let's see, Sam, Vivian, Lisette. I said that Sherry, Nima, Elaine. Good to see you Elaine, Sherry, Jeanette, Vivian, everyone. Thank you so much and big hugs. Have a great evening. Bye now.