 There are many differences between narcissists and psychopaths, but today I'm going to focus on a very important distinction which should make it into any differential diagnosis. Before we proceed, there are narcissists, people diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder, there are psychopaths, people diagnosed with an extreme form of antisocial personality disorder, although the label psychopath is much disputed and didn't make it into any of the additions of the diagnostic and statistical manual. And there is a malignant narcissist, which is essentially a cross between a narcissist and a psychopath. It's a narcissist who uses psychopathic techniques in order to secure narcissistic supply, psychopath who has traits, especially reactants traits, reactive traits, psychopath who displays behaviors, all in order to secure narcissistic supply. And as I said, there are many differences between psychopaths and narcissists. For example, the psychopath couldn't care less about narcissistic supply. He doesn't suffer from cognitive distortions. Psychopaths could be grandiose, but their grandiosity is more inward-looking, internalized. They do not externalize their grandiosity, they don't try to coerce or convince people to provide them with supply. So psychopaths are much less dependent on people than narcissists and are likely to be much less prosocial or communal than narcissists. Additionally, psychopaths are defiant, they are reactant, they are contumacious, they detest and hate authority, they are reckless, much more reckless than narcissists, and above all, they are goal-oriented. Everything is focused like a laser beam on obtaining a goal. The goal could be sex, money, power, anything, connections, access, entertainment or accomplishment, whatever the goal may be. The entire being of the psychopath is focused on obtaining the goal and he becomes ruthless, callous, merciless, tramples on everyone on his way and destroys everything possible just in order to obtain the goal. But the narcissist's only goal is narcissistic supply and he is pretty happy. When he does obtain supply, the narcissist is malleable, gullible, pussycat, cutie pie. Okay, Shoshenim, so what is the difference between these two that I've promised you to discuss today? Cathexis. Cathexis means emotional investment in something or someone, it could be a place, it could be an occupation or a vocation, usually it is another person, it could be anything, literally. Any investment of emotions in something or someone is called cathexis. Well, cathexis is often channeled through processes of attachment and bonding, including by the way trauma bonding. So when you get attached to another person, when you bond with another person, then you develop emotions and inevitably you invest emotionally in the dead person and it's called cathexis. So there's a big difference between narcissists and psychopaths. Narcissists are always emotionally invested in shared fantasy. Whether it is a friend, a spouse, a mate, an intimate partner, an abstract concept such as a nation or a religion calling anything, the narcissist is always emotionally invested in it. These are rarely emotionally invested in other people, but they are very, very invested in their own fantasies and cognitive distortions. Even in the phase of devaluation and discard, the narcissist is emotionally invested in it. It's negative investment, this is negative cathexis, but there's still no process of dick-affectis with drawing the emotions. So the narcissist is always emotionally there and he is unable to experience or to access positive emotions. So he is invested with negative affectivity, with negative emotions, including possessiveness, envy, hatred, rage, anger, and so on and so forth. The psychopath, however, and the malignant narcissist, the psychopathic narcissist, who is essentially indistinguishable from a psychopath, at least behaviorally, if not psychodynamically, but both these types, the psychopath and the malignant or psychopathic narcissist, they are not emotionally invested in anything, in anyone, ever. The first to observe this was actually Harvey Clackley in 1942. He was shocked and amazed by how psychopaths couldn't care less. They couldn't care less about their careers, about their intellectual property, about their spouses, about their children and parents and the community and public opinion and the court system and law enforcement and they just couldn't care less. Psychopathic narcissists do not affect and they don't get attached. The psychopath has what I call flat attachment. He is unable to attach. He also has flat affect. Flat affect simply means that he has reduced affect display. He has poker face. Most psychopaths have poker face. So you can't really tell what's going on behind this glass over eyes. You can't, behind this glass, darkly, there's a human form, but it doesn't emit any human signals. Nothing emanates from it. That is the psychopath. So the psychopath doesn't really care if, you know, he loses his spouse to another man. He couldn't care less if his work is stolen by someone. He couldn't care less if he's at risk. He couldn't care less if he's accomplished. He is not invested, for example, in his career. It's not a big Lebowski type thing. It's not someone who is deprived of ambition. The big Lebowski is actually a very healthy character. He is not invested in ambition, in competition, in pursuit of happiness. He's just happy. He's a slacker, wakes up in the morning, and he has fun throughout the day. Healthy, very healthy. The psychopath is not a big Lebowski. The psychopath doesn't care about his profession, about his job, about his career, about his reputation, about his renome, about his resume, about his academic degrees. He couldn't care less about any of this, about the intellectual property he generates, let others take it. He couldn't care less because he is not attached to anything. He's not invested in anything. Now, you could say that the psychopath is anticipating loss the same way the borderline is anticipating abandonment and the narcissist is anticipating devaluation and discard. So you could say that all three cluster B types, history only is a cross between them. You could say that all three cluster B types anticipate discontinuities. They anticipate an end, so nothing good lasts. It's going to end soon, and it's going to end badly, and I'm going to feel bad, I'm going to feel hurt, and I'm going to feel devastated if I don't protect myself. So each one of these types is a different kind of protection. The borderline protects herself by switching to a secondary psychopathic self-state and acting out. The psychopath protects himself by simply not caring. It's a see if I care attitude. I couldn't care less. Do whatever you want. Do whatever you want to my wife. Do whatever you want to my work. Do whatever you want to my property. Do whatever you want to my freedom. I couldn't care less. That's the psychopath's protection. Psychopaths are very basic devices. I feel good. I feel bad. I'm afraid. I'm not afraid. There's no nuance there. And because there's no emotional canvas, there is no cathesis. And because there's no cathesis, the psychopath cruises through life as if it is sliding off its back. The narcissist's defense is preemptive to initiate devaluation and discard as a way to separate from the significant other. That's why narcissists love bomb. Psychopaths groom the big difference. Narcissists love bomb because they are emotionally invested in the shared fantasy. They do believe the fantasy. They don't lie. They don't future fake. They are fully immersed in the fantasy. And they consider it a reality. The psychopath, on the other hand, stands apart from his own deeds and misdeeds. He knows them well what he's doing. He's manipulative. He's cunning. He's scheming. He realizes the difference, fully realizes the difference between reality and the fantasies that he is selling to others. He future fakes. He lies. He manipulates the psychopath, not the narcissist. And of course, online, all the self-styled experts make a god-awful confusion. They say that narcissists gaslight, not true. They don't, the psychopaths gaslight. They say that narcissists groom. They don't. Psychopaths groom. I mean, it's a bloody mess. But here you have one very important tool to tell them apart. If your intimate partner or significant other suddenly dumped you, shows no interest in you, goes no contact overnight and over a dime, simply vanishes and couldn't care less what's happening to you, that is a psychopath or a psychopathic narcissist. The narcissist, on the contrary, is liable to stalking and hoovering. We'll try to re-enter your life somehow with very possessive, paranoid, watchful, and so on. Psychopaths just vanish, evaporate as though you had never existed. And what you, what you had believed to have been a relationship was nothing more but goal-oriented. The goal could have been sex, could have been fun, could have been money, could have been access, could have been power, but you were just an instrument. You were a tool on the way to obtain obtaining the goal. And once the goal has been accomplished or once the psychopath had reached the conclusion that you are useless, your gun, your history, and your ancient history, the next day, it doesn't take millennia. The next day you're erased, deleted from the psychopath's mind. You have never existed. This transition is harrowing for the victims, harrowing. And it's very uncommon with narcissists. So analyze your past relationship. If the, if your ex intimate partner still somehow interact, is interacting with you, interacts with you, still wants to be in your life, still wants to know what's going on with you, is still jealous, still tries to hoover you, suggests to meet and to talk and didn't block you anywhere, et cetera, et cetera. That's a narcissist. The psychopath called bloodedly erases any trace of you and of what you've had with him. And it takes him on a slow day, three minutes.