 The Jack Benny program presented by Lucky Strike. Be happy, go lucky, be happy, go lucky strike, be happy, go lucky, go lucky strike today. Stop fiddling folks when buying smokes, join in the swing to pleasure. These luckies are a richer blend with mildest for good measure. Take away my diamond clips, the pearls that I adore. For luckies are a girl's best friend and right in every store. Be happy, go lucky, be happy, go lucky strike, be happy, go lucky, go lucky strike today. Enjoy your cigarette. Enjoy truly fine tobacco that combines both perfect mildness and rich taste in one great cigarette, Lucky Strike. For only fine tobacco gives you both real mildness and rich taste. And LSMFT, Lucky Strike means fine tobacco. So friends be happy, go lucky, try a carton of Lucky Strike. Be happy, go lucky, be happy, go lucky strike, be happy, go lucky, go lucky strike today. Lucky Strike program starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston, Phil Harris, Rochester, Denison. Hold it Don, Don, hold it, hold it, hold it, wait a minute Phil, hold it, hold it, hold it everybody. What's the matter Jack? Look it will be on the air in a few minutes and the opening is still not right. Now rehearse it again. But Jack, I read the opening like I always do. Oh it isn't you Don, it's the music. And what pray tell is wrong with the music? The same thing pray tell has been wrong with it for 15 years. Phil is too loud, nobody can hear Don. I can tell you now Phil, you'll never get anywhere with that kind of blast. Look Jackson, now listen to me, I've got a cat like a yacht and a mansion and Encino. Show me one Claire DeLune man who can top that. Phil, I know you have a cat like a yacht and a mansion. What did your music have to do with getting all those things? My band played Here Comes the Bride. I looked at that little blonde standing beside me said I do and they were mine, all mine. He admits it yet. Jack, we'll be on the, we'll be on the air in a minute so why upset yourself? But Mary. Well Phil has a lot of bad musicians, is there nothing you can do about it? Wait a minute. Hold it a minute may company may see. Let's get something straightened out. What do you mean about bad musicians for your information live? My strength section used to be with Whiteman and some of my boys were with Dorsey. Well I'm talking about the fellas who worked with King. Wayne King? No Waste King, they used to install them. That I believe and I like that Mary. Now Phil, let's take the opening theme again. Jack we have in time for that now the audience is coming into the studio. Oh, yeah, I hope we have a good crowd. I'm going to peek through the curtain and see. Looks pretty good. One, two, three, four, five. Jack, Jack, stop counting the tickets are free. Oh yes, I keep forgetting. Next aisle over please. Next aisle over. Don't crowd please, don't crowd. A lamb, lamb. Coming Ellie. I almost lost your place in line. What took so long? I got into a big argument in the lobby. Why, what happened? They wouldn't let me hitch my horse to that statue of Mr. Paley. I just can't understand what... Keep moving please. Now see here, don't push me around sonny. Mr. Benny mailed me my tickets personally. Come on Ellie, let's sit down here in the front row. Okay lamb, I'm glad we got you on time. Yeah, good thing we turned the rooster back in our last night. Let's sit down and open the lunch basket. Here's a banana. A banana? That'll hold you until I get out the sandwich just in part of the coffee. Okay. You know, I heard in Mr. Benny's program last week and it was really a dilly. Almost as good as Spade Cully. You know, when he came out and said... Oh look lamb, the curtain is opening. We strike program starring Jack Benny with Barry Livingston, Phil Harris, Rochester, Dennis Day, the sportsman's quartet, and yours truly, Don Wilson. And now, ladies and gentlemen, we bring you a man who is loved, admired, and respected by millions. And here he is, Jack Benny. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Hello again, this is Jack Benny talking. Hi. What? Thanks for the tickets. You're welcome, you're welcome. This is Jack Benny talking and Don, your introduction... Where did the show last week laugh so hard I fell off my milk and stole? Now look. Now if it hadn't been, if I hadn't had a good grip on that cow, I'd have broke my nose. If you hadn't mucked that line, you'd have gotten a bigger laugh, too. Now why doesn't he keep quiet? Jack, Jack, Jack, the show. Oh yes. Hello again, this is Jack Benny talking and Don, it gives me great pleasure to announce that tonight we're going to do a sketch to celebrate a great event in California history. This event happened on September 9th 100 years ago. Now kids, who knows why Californians will always cherish that wonderful day. I do. Why? No smog. I mean another reason. Don, do you know what California is celebrating? No. Don, you mean to tell me that you are a college man, a radio announcer? Don't know California history? That's disgusting. Now just a minute. Why should I know about California history? I was born in Colorado. Well, some of you must have flabbed over into California. But since none of you seem to know, I'll tell you, this month, in fact, all this year, we're celebrating the California Centennial. Centennial? What's that? What's that, Phil? 100 years ago, California joined the Union. The whole state? Certainly. That patrolor really is on his toes, ain't he? Yes, Phil, yes. Ain't he? What English? You know, it's a shame. Once in a while, I get into a mood where I try to discuss a subject of national importance. There isn't one member of my past that I can talk to intelligently. Hello, Mr. Benny. Dennis, you can go and sit down. Yes, sir. Now, Don, as long as there's no one here who knows anything about this subject, we might as well try and do something else. Oh, Mr. Benny. What? Did you know that this month we're celebrating the California Centennial? Yes, yes, I know it. I just said it. Now, Don... It was just 100 years ago, September 9th, that the state of California was admitted to the Union. I know, I know. Of course, California was discovered in 1542 by Juan Rodriguez Cabrillo. That gave Spain the right of discovery. However, Spain at this time was busy with affairs in Europe and neglected the territory. But in the year 1769, Carlos III of Spain sent forward the Port de la Serra expedition. This was the beginning of the building of the missions and the conversion of the Indians on the Port de la Serra. Then colonization followed. The colonists were sent from Mexico. Then in 1822, California became a territory of the Republic of Mexico. At the close of the Mexican war with the United States, February 2nd, 1848, by the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo, California passed into control of the United States. Two weeks before this, January 24th, a mill was being built for Sutter of Sutter's fort at Coloma. Sutter? John Sutter. John Sutter? John A. Sutter, his wife's name was Mildred. Oh, oh. The California territory was especially desirable to the United States because of its strategic position and its natural resources, such as gold, silver, oil and timber. At Sutter's mill, as I mentioned before, gold was discovered. Culminating on one of the greatest gold rushes in history, and so on September 9th, 1850, California was made a state and admitted to the Union. Dennis? Dennis, that was wonderful. I mean, how do you get your information? I dial 113. You dial? I've got more information in my little finger than you have in your whole head. Well, Dennis, it's hard for me to get my head in the dial. Anyway, Dennis, it's not important how you acquired your information. The mere fact that you were able to retain it is an accomplishment in itself. I sing, too. I know, I know. Now, let's have your song because we have a very important sketch to do. I hope this is funny as last week. Oh, be quiet. What are you going to sing, Dennis? Well, I'm going to sing a little bitty corridor. Dennis, don't quarrel! The heart belongs to whoever let me go Who'll give you all let me go By Dennis Day, and Dennis, you sang it beautifully. California was the 31st state admitted to the Union. What? I forgot to mention that before. Oh, well, thanks, kid. And now, ladies and gentlemen, for our feature attraction tonight, we are going to present... The first governor of California was named Peter H. Burnett. Dennis... His wife's name was Mabel. Dennis, we don't need any more information, so drop it. Yeah, if you're going to do a play about California, you better get started. Mary, I'm trying to. Ladies and gentlemen, tonight in honor of the California Centennial, we are going to present a play based on this historical event. All right, Don, let's get started with our tribute to California. Am I going to be in the play? Dennis, you're going to be technical advisor. Yeah, yeah. Go ahead, Don. Introduce the play. Okay, Jack. Oh, Don at the phone. I'll get it. Who threw that banana peel on the stage? Hire! What? California got its first shipment of bananas in 1864. I don't care when. Okay, okay. Hello? Rochester, what do you want? Have you been shopping lately? Shopping? Yes. Last Wednesday, I bought some clothes. Why? There's a man here from Sears Rogue up with your new suit. Well, you can tell a man it's about time. It sure is a nice suit, boy. You really like it? Yeah, I hope it looks as good on you as it does on him. Rochester, you mean he came from the store wearing my new suit? Yeah, he said for the price you paid, they couldn't afford to put it in the box. Well, look, tell the man. I hold it, boys. What? Here comes Roebuck wearing the extra pair of pants. Well, look, Rochester, I'm in the middle of the program. Hang up the clothes and I'll see you later. Okay, goodbye. Goodbye. Oh, say, boys. Now what? You got a letter from Alcatraz. Oh, from my agent. Oh, what does he say? Open it up. It's already been opened. Oh, yes, yes. Well, what does he say? I'll read it to you. Dear Jack, next Friday is my birthday. And if you want to send me a monogram, search my initials at 9-3. Ah, good old nine. What else does he say? He asked. I can't wait to see you on television, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to. Yeah, I guess so. Well, I'll answer them when I get home. So long, Rochester. Goodbye. All right, Don. Start the play. Okay. Ladies and gentlemen, tonight to commemorate the centennial of California, we bring you our version of one of the historic events that took place in this great state, curtain music. My name is Slim Benny. Here, 1849, we found ourselves in the sleepy little Mexican pueblo of Nuestra Sonora Larina de Los Angles de Porque Nútraco. This is the first stop here for plant inspection. Been a pretty exciting evening here at Pedro's, eh, Tex? Sure has, Slim. Yes, we better get going. Wait a minute, Slim. I want another drink. Now, hold on, Tex. I know it ain't none of my business, but you've been drinking a little too much. Well, it take my fault, Slim. I only drink to forget. What are you trying to forget? All the years I went around sober. Well, I'll drink with you, but stand up for this one. Oh, bartender. Bartender. What will you have, senor? I'll have a double tequila. And what for you, senor? Well, I'm kind of hungry. I'll have a sandwich. Okay, but you will have to go outside and eat it on your horse. This is a drive-in. Then don't bother. You know, Tex, I like this little town. I think... Move over, you hombres. I want a drink. Stop shoving, mister. I said move over. I'm a warning you. You better... Slim, be careful. That's Wendy Wilson, the toughest man on these parts. Oh, he is, eh? Well, I'll take care of that. I shot him in the stomach. Now, look, Slim, which one is she talking to? He's a talking to me. Now, what do you want here, anyway? Well, wait a minute, pardon. I didn't come here to fight. I came here to see the singer at this here saloon. Got a new song for her by Stephen Foster. No kidding. How does it go? Be happy, go lucky, be happy, go lucky, strike Italy Poo Poo Poo Poo Poo Poo. Italy Poo Poo was by Stephen Foster. Yep, it's called Jeannie with a light brown tobacco. Oh. Well, look, look. Here comes the singer now. Yeah. I watched her. She made five-inch waist. How was never without... Hello, girly. Are you the singer in this saloon? Si. You sing her every night? Si. Are you single? Si. What's your name? Sue. Sue? Si. Well, say he's Sue. After your show tonight, how about going out with me? We could have a lot of fun together. Do not get fresh with me, senor. The bartender, he is my brother. Ah, you're kidding. Hey, bartender. Si. Can I talk to you a minute? Si. Are you her brother? Si. What's your name? Si. Si? Si. Well, look, Si. I want to go out with your sister. See? She's Sue. I know she's Sue, Si. I heard Sue say so. What did you say, senor? Reading that line again. So, what's your name? Sue. Sue. Sue. Sue. Sue. Sue. Sue. Sue. Sue. Sue. Sue. Sue. Sue. Sue. I am not going to get married. Sue, I think you and I ought to get married. But why, senor? Should I marry you? Because now you're alone. I just killed your brother. I love you, Sue. If you marry me, you will make me the happiest man. Gold. Gold has been discovered abroad. Gold. Do you hear me? Gold! Gold! Goodbye, Sue. Come on, Tex. We're are gold. Fuck about that. I got the title already. Good night, Irene. I become happy on my knee because I always welcome lucky strike breakup. I can't go on the more slim. I'm quit. Let's keep digging Tex. I'm sure we'll find gold soon. Oh no I can't go on to tell you I can't go on this digging is breaking my back. The shoveling is killing me. Look at my hands. They're raw and bleeding. And the sun is ruining my hair. That's good acting Tex, but you can't give up digging now. If we hit gold we'll be Tex. Look I just hit it. I've ain't a gold. We've done it. We've done it. That's dead it. Come on Tex, let's get to work. There's a lot of gold here and we are going to find it. Down Tex down. We're being attacked by Indians. There'll get you Tex. Tex, Tex speak to me. Tell me you ain't hurt. That's isn't. Tell me you isn't hurt. But I are worried Tex. Look look the chief of the Indians is coming toward us. Yeah you stay here. I'll go and talk to him. Use good English. How? How? Me he big Indian chief. Indian chief? What tribe? Sue. Sue? See. Let's not go through that again. Who you pale face? That pale face is that statue in the lock. My name is Slim Benny. What you pale faces do here? We just found gold. Gold? Then me take them. No no it's our gold. We work for it. We dug for it. We slave for it. Indian no care. I take him your gold or I take him your scalp. Well all right here. Slide right off him head. Indian chief left happily taking my 2P to his TP. What's the difference when you're rich you can say anything. We got a cool minion. The next day we begin to break camp and leave. Well I'm ready to go Slim. Me too Tex. We got all the gold we need. Let's leave before we're ambushed. Wait Slim. One last thing. I'm going to go down to the spring and fill our canteens with water. There's nothing I like better than nice cold sparkling clear pure water. What did you say Tex? Reading that line again. Be happy. Go lucky. Be happy. Go lucky. Strike. Be happy. Go lucky. Go lucky. Strike today. I parley vu. I speak nine tongues. The linguist great am I. No matter how you say it brother lucky strikes the by. I am the leader of the band. I know what tunes you like and favorite on your hit parade is milder lucky strike. Be happy. Go lucky. Be happy. Go lucky. Strike. Be happy. Go lucky. Go lucky. Strike today. Yes friends. Be happy. Go lucky and enjoy your cigarette. Puff by puff you'll find luckies always give you perfect mildness. In fact scientific tests prove lucky strike is milder than any other principal brand. But mildness is only part of the enjoyment luckies give you. You get rich taste to all the deep down enjoyment that comes from truly fine tobacco because LS MFT lucky strike means fine tobacco. So friends be happy. Go lucky. Try a carton of lucky strike. Be happy. Go lucky. Be happy. Go lucky. Strike. Be happy. Go lucky. Go lucky. Strike today. Ladies and gentlemen the crusade for freedom offers every American an opportunity to play a personal part in a great moral crusade for freedom, faith and peace throughout the earth. In Berlin on United Nations Day October 24th the freedom bell will peel out this message of hope inscribed on its rim that this world under God shall have a new birth of freedom. So please don't forget to enroll in the crusade for freedom. Thank you. Good night. Stay tuned in for the new Howl Parry Show of College immediately. This is CBS The Columbia Broadcasting System.