 Hi, and welcome to How to Get Him Excited about You by Being Sexy. I'm Matthew Coase, and today I have Alana Pratt from alanapratt.com that's spelled A-L-L-A-N-A-P-R-A-T-T dot com. And Alana is an intimacy expert and the host of intimate conversations live. And I'm really excited about having her on our interview today because I actually first heard about her a few years ago from an interview that she did with a dating expert in the men's dating space. And everything that she really has to say is a lot of fun and exciting, and I know she's got a lot of really good insights for you, so thanks for being on the interview today, Alana. I'm grateful to be here and a couple things about you. You've got like the best radio voice, dude. It's really a nice voice. And I'm curious, which guy did you hear me on in the male dating world? I think it was David D'Angelo's interview, one of his interview series, and so yeah, that's where I heard about it. Some men had said they listened to that interview like 12 times or something. It really like healed a part of their heart, and I hope that in all the things I can share, I can also share what it's like to have a lot of male clients that I talk to, kind of like a man whisperer or something. Some insights scoop into how much men really want a profound deep relationship with women. I think a lot of women think, oh, they're only after one thing, and maybe some guys are. But I'm just saying I know a lot of them that are great noble men who want to bring women great pleasure, and I can help the ladies to invite that behavior out of the guys. Awesome. Yeah, and just to give you a little bit of background, and most people have probably heard a little bit about my story by now if they're watching this interview, but I used to be a men's dating coach as well, and it's one of those things where I definitely agree with you. There are some men out there. There are definitely some men out there who just want sex, and that's all they care about. But there's definitely another, and the majority of men who are out there that are looking for something deeper, and there's definitely a lot that you can do in order to help kind of bring that out in a man. And so, yeah, that's awesome, and thanks for being here. And can you talk a little bit about how you became an intimacy expert? Yeah, there's a course at Columbia University where I went, and I wish I didn't set out to be an intimacy expert. I went to Columbia University in New York City for art history, and I was just being like the smart girl, and yet I went through two divorces, and the only one in common was me. And so I'm like, okay, what can I do different here? And I began to take a lot of courses, but then I started to be asked to be the coach, or the head coach of all these different programs. I really had this sort of capacity to coach, but more than that, a capacity to make people feel safe and not judged, and be able to go and look at those blocks that we can't heal on our own. Excuse me, I'm sure a lot of the women on your program are smart, successful women, and they can probably handle 9 to 9.5 out of 10 things on their own, but nobody can find their own blind spot, nor can I. And so it really takes a very intuitive, safe, non-judgmental, unconditionally loving person to be able to kindly, tenderly, and potently show them something that's in the way. And most of the time these issues, at least the ones I deal with, have to do a shame, a closed heart from betrayal or abandonment. Something really owie that's happened from a parent, from a past lover or husband, something where you've been made wrong for your body or your sexuality, something where you think your natural, erotic state is somehow dirty, bad, or wrong. And a lot of shame has happened and shutting down. And those tend to be the clients that I have that want to be free in their sensuality. And yet they wanted to also have a flavor of sacredness. And that seems to be my niche with women. And it's beautiful to help them be free in their sacred eroticism and also learn how to navigate and manage men's attention so that they still are honored, safe, they can be discerning, connected to their intuition so they can trust a good man and open their heart all the way to be splayed wide open and ravished and claimed to the core, the way I believe most women desire. Yeah, well that sounds really exciting. So there's a lot of different terms out there, you know, sensuality, sexuality, intimacy. Can you explain a little bit about what intimacy is exactly and how that relates to sexiness? Sure, sure. I think there's a lot of definitions out there. I'll just give you mine. So I like intimacy. Into me I see. When you go inside, are you in denial avoiding, judging, making wrong different parts of you? Or have you come to peace? Are you home? Are you free inside your heart at rest? Not needing to prove or be good enough or manipulate the situation to be safe? It's really a sense of presence and centeredness and freedom within your heart and within your pelvis, within your body, within your sensual creative center. If we go on to a few other words, sensuality, senses. It's your ability to really drink in what it is to be alive, feel. A lot of women live from the chin up. It hurts frankly to be in their heart and so they're very analytical. They might like look sexy on the outside but they don't embody it. And so that sensuality sort of escapes them and they might get a first date but they're not going to get a second or third date or they might just be used for their body or arm candy. Sexuality is an interesting word to go a little deeper into because we could just think of that sexual energy just for genital copulation, right? But I like to think of sexual energy as life force energy and the first time this happened to me when I realized it was more than just for the bedroom. I have a boy, he's 12 and he was like maybe 2 years old and I was looking at him and the sun was coming through the window and it was illuminating his eyelashes and the little bangs on his hair and I had this feeling of being turned on and I thought, well that's inappropriate, that's my son. I'd never experienced being turned on in life other than in the bedroom and as I began to explore what in the world was going on with me I realized that sexual energy is life force energy. It has on the one spectrum a very healing, tender, caring, nurturing quality to it and as it expands in its dimension it becomes very creative and generative and expansive which could be very useful in business or thinking of a new vacation for the kids or it could be thought of as a very businessy creative energy but it's alive and your vibrance and your radiant and then as it expands even more it can move into the orgasmic and erotic and naughty and kinky and all those kind of energies as well which are obviously for the bedroom but I think a lot of women only have their sexual energy this much so they have the experience of being exhausted, cut off, empty, crunchy and overwhelmed because they're only allowing this life force energy to co-create with them help them, revitalize them like a small percentage of the time but if they could expand their understanding of sexual energy to let it be everything from caring for the children, caring for themselves listening to a friend, showing up at work and being creative writing their next book as well as when they get dressed into their lingerie and they go out on a date and they flirt and appreciate a man all the way to being fully expressed in the bedroom if they could have this be their life their whole life could be radiance itself and aliveness itself and it's not possible if the heart is shut down and it's not possible if there's shame in the pelvis because it's an embodiment of energy, not an analytical idea it's a true embodiment Yeah and so that's really interesting that you say that and thanks a lot for that so the idea of shame and the idea of having your heart closed down and a lot of that sometimes has to do with different things that have happened in the past and different types of trauma and situations that have closed the heart down and created this feeling of shame can you talk a little bit about how a woman can kind of get over that whole issue of her past trauma so that it doesn't prevent her from opening herself up and being more vulnerable and connecting more with her sensuality and her sexuality and her intimacy Go ahead Sure, sure Yeah I don't think there's a woman on the planet who hasn't been hurt, betrayed, used something, you don't get out of life scot-free, you just don't it's part of our growth, it's part of our evolution on some level we could even say it was meant to happen so that something in her could emerge a new confidence, a new strength, a new humility, a new compassion, something these events don't happen because she's done anything wrong or she's bad however a closed heart will not attract a noble man and a closed pelvis will not have an intuition turned on so you won't see a bad man coming or an unkind man coming you won't have a sense of the red flags these instincts are off, they're shut down so the how is not a quick fix it's not a pill you take, it's a willingness to do the work sit in the fire and feel and I suppose if you go to a cave and sit there for 10, 20 years you could probably process all of this on your own but I think that's very inefficient I think it's the magic of partnership with a coach like yourself for a coach like me is you can't be the banks of the river and the river at the same time, you know, choose and when there are deep places of pain what's required is surrender what's required is letting go what's required is sitting in the fire with a trained professional, safe, unconditionally loving non-judgmental professional so that you can literally feel through, process through and underneath once you process through the feelings there's a nugget in there, a gem there's some wisdom, literal energy that wants to come out and be you like I said before, strength, compassion, softness, boldness whatever that pain was inviting you to embrace in yourself that is what a coach, a therapist, a mentor holds space for so that's the how the how is courageously with humility ask for help it's what strong smart women do they don't do it all themselves if we think about a queen and she has her whole queendom she's not going to do everything herself she's not going to go train horses and buff up the armor and help the kids and go cook in the kitchen and talk to the legislature she can't do it all if she tries she will fail so what's important if these women are thinking of themselves like a queen and they recognize there's a wound in their heart where they're shut down in their pelvis in their sexuality or sensuality they've been betrayed is to think like a queen and to bring a team of advisors into her world so that she can heal efficiently, effectively, tenderly, safely so that she can live and create the best life for herself with relationships so the how comes down to partnering with someone masterful to sit in the fire and heal it and know that that doesn't mean you're broken or wrong that's important as well yeah and I totally agree and I love that you brought that up because it's part of my journey actually and I used to back when I was a men's dating coach when I was a first men's dating coach I was kind of in the whole like gamey you know like how to manipulate type space and one of the things that I found was that I was just attracting all of these women into my life that were really not who I wanted and part of what I found out I went on a long, long journey for myself and I actually did kind of a lot I didn't go sit in a cave or anything but I spent, I joined a Zen temple and I spent literally years meditating until my first transformational experience actually occurred when I first kind of got in touch and faced a lot of the demons that I had in my heart that were preventing me from opening up to true intimacy that were preventing me from attracting people that were really awesome into my life and then what I found after that after going on another search after that was that you don't need to sit and meditate for years in order to do that you can actually find people that have gone through those experiences that have different processes that you can go through to help you heal to help you open up to help you find where those blocks are that you don't really know where they are and I'm really glad you brought that up because that's a very, very important point so how about intimacy with men? What if you say you're seeing a man and you want to get more intimate with him and maybe there's some resistance there do you have any tips on how to kind of break through that and get more in touch with him? I've got a couple tips for the ladies but first I want to really honor you for the journey you've been on to go and sit in your own fire and to face those demons I believe in, well, it's science quantum physicists tell us that 99.9% of the world is unseen and only .01 is what we see and so when you sit with a trainer a coach like myself or yourself there's literally an energy that people can train into without doing anything it's a vibration that they align with and it allows for healing to be spontaneous, quicker, more effective and lasting so I really honor the work that you've done and I can't believe you look so young I've been doing this for a long time I'm like I look twice your age and I've definitely been doing this for a long time but it pays off and it's sure fulfilling to help other people be free so back to wanting more intimacy with gentlemen I would always go inside first this is my order, into me I see and then once you're there I believe that's where we connect with Source, God, the universe this oneness that we've been seeking with him this whole time we find within our self, it's like a click that occurs and all neediness needing to prove yourself concern if he texted you back or not, you know all those things they don't matter anymore because you're home inside and instead of going towards him with that neediness which actually pushes him away you instead are so at rest so in your body, you become this invitational vortex for him to come even closer to you so intimacy becomes kind of normal, natural, it's just how it goes down because of how you're being so at home in your body and invitational and when you don't need him to be a certain way you're not looking for how he could hurt you you're not focusing on what he didn't do, you're being far more playful, far more the temptress, far more courageous to ask for what you desire and far more appreciative of catching him in the act of doing things that really turn you on, so one tip is simply to well, the first tip is to do the deep work I know that isn't the easy way but it's for long term joy, happiness and bliss, it's the most efficient use of your time, energy and money I promise you, so that's step one, step two being her, and you can't do this as you've learned from being a coach of men with the player, you can't intellectually pick up a woman of quality, she gets it, she senses it she can smell a rat, well men are very intuitive creatures too they can smell it if you're just saying something nicey nice to manipulate him he'll say, what do you want he'll get it, so it has to be authentic, but just start to tell him what turns you on start to tell him what makes you happy start to appreciate him, it makes me so juicy when you X, Y, Z I bet you he'll start listening and doing a little more of that oh my god, it makes me so alive when you do X, Y and Z, oh okay, I'll do that again, it's really pretty simple just set him up to win and praise him and let him see your joy in not just your words from the chin up but in your shoulders in your breath let him see what it is for a woman to be alive and turned on and he will want to do more of that and in terms of more intimacy we can define that as a vulnerable, honest intimate, I guess that word's already there trusting conversation, perhaps about things that you might have in the past been nervous or embarrassed or judgmental about a three part question series that you can do with your partner and you can do it totally face to face light a candle, really like an exercise, you can do it side to side as you're driving someplace so it's not quite so much pressure you could do it out for dinner there's a lot of different ways to do it and the only rule is you don't get to comment you just get to say thank you so this isn't about agreement this is just about understanding and listening and the first question is tell me something you like about me and you go back and forth, just one thing just Matthew, tell me something you like about me I like your I like your your energy and how you, in your awesome shirt, that shirt is really, really nice and oh wait we're only supposed to say one thing, okay so then my job is to say thank you, Matthew and then you would say tell me something you like about me and then I would say thank you, you're totally handsome I had no idea you did the deep work inside which I so honor about you because I know that takes great courage and I know those are two things that I cheated to, I said two things that I liked about you, so that's the first question and what it does is it builds affinity between two people so maybe you appreciate your guy but you just haven't really told him lately like even last night at dinner my girlfriends get this her husband of 20 years makes her coffee morning, 365 times 20 years he's made her coffee so she kind of stopped saying thank you about 15 years ago but recently he's like how's that coffee and she's like the coffee is great, the coffee is always great well that's not what he wanted to hear so she took a beat and she's like the coffee is, when I go away on vacation and they don't make coffee like you make coffee, I don't even want the coffee your coffee is the best coffee and he was like thank you for the coffee comment so anyways what you like about your partner is important second question is tell me something you think we align on sometimes we think we're on opposite teams and that we have to fight each other or make each other agree or manipulate each other but if we're on the same team that's not required so Matthew tell me something you think we align on I think we align on wanting to wanting to get to kind of the core essence of what's going on to help women really feel better about themselves and create deeper relationships with men thank you so I would say thank you not that I agree but that I heard you, I happen to agree but I'm just saying it that way so then you, if this was the dialogue you would then say Alana tell me something that you think we align on walking our talk you sound like a man that does his inner work himself and provides that for others and I'm somebody certainly that can't see my own blind spots I can see yours or someone else's but not mine so I'm willing to do my work as well and then you would say thank you and so here's the last question and so here's the last question that you would use to build more intimacy with your partner and after this first two the third would be tell me something you want me to know or it could be something like tell me something you think I don't understand or it could be tell me something about you and oral sex, you could go right sexy, it could be out at a really sexy restaurant, you could go straight for that tell me something about you and your sexual fantasies it could be something more heartfelt like tell me something about you and losing your parents tell me something about you and money Tell me something. I mean, it could be anything, but if you keep this practice going with your partner where you create a safe space to talk about more intimate things, and you maybe put a time limit of like 30 minutes on this little exercise, you'll find that if the other person only says thank you, they don't get to say, well, why did you say that? Because last week, blah, blah, blah, you don't get to do that. You just get to listen impeccably with honor and say thank you. That, excuse me, creates safety in the relationship, so it's safe to be vulnerable. When you're vulnerable, you're going to be honored, and that is so delicious for couples. You could even do it like after having sex, and you're in that spooning, snuggling place and tell me something you've always wanted to tell me, or tell me something you've never told anybody, and all you say to each other is thank you. It's exquisite. Wow, that was outstanding. So thank you very much for sharing that with us. So there's a lot of women in our community who are really shy, and so what could a woman do if she's kind of embarrassed, or shy, or something like that in order to feel more confident in bringing up conversations like this with a man? Well, actually, somebody the other day just signed up for some sessions with me who had this exact same issue, and I say start practicing in an environment where you're guaranteed to win. It's totally safe doing this with me, and we go through all of these intimate conversations in a way that she recognizes she's not going to die. She's on the playing field, showing up vulnerably and being honored. So that part of her brain that's like, I can't do this, no, yes you can, yes you can, you just did. So that's part one, part two. The part of her that's shy is the part of her that doesn't believe 100% she's worth as she is. It's the part of her that's outside going, am I enough? Do you prove of me? Is it going to be okay if I'm myself? So that part of her is defining her worth from the outside in, not the inside out. So that's the deep inner work to do with a coach like yourself or me, so that that shyness dissolves into like a calmness. She doesn't have to be an extrovert if she's not an extrovert, but shyness is saying that other people's opinions of her are more important than her own. And that means there's inner work with her little girl inside or her wounded heart that needs to be healed. And when it is, she might not become the most boisterous woman out there, but she'll have a calm confidence about her and it will be natural and organic for her personality and her soul. So there's, how about when like a woman's feeling jealous or she's having some type of negative emotions going on around her man and let's say like her, the man she's with is like looking at another woman. How can a woman kind of feel sexy when things like that are going on? Well, she can carry a gun and I'm just totally not so funny, isn't it? But it's what we want to do. Okay, so first off, don't make yourself wrong that you're jealous. You're probably accurate that he's looking at another work of art. And let's look at that. He's looking at and hear my words, another work of art. Women, we are works of art. We want to be looked at. We love it. It feels good to be seen and adored and appreciated. Same with guys. They're no different. They might be a little quieter about it, but they love, you know, that we see their vice-veps and all and we see their new car or whatever it is, right? So first off, don't, it's not, he's not a bad person because he's looking at another work of art. And if you have two choices, you can shut your heart down or you can keep your heart open, your choice. No one's making you choose. You are. And so when you look at another woman, what do you say about yourself? I'm not enough. He'll probably cheat on me. Just like the other guys will notice where that train of thought came from. Go heal it. Go do some inner work with your coach and heal it because you're going to be right about it. If you think about that long enough, your behavior with him, maybe you'll withhold sex that night. Maybe you'll be a little snarky with him sooner or later. Look at that. He had an affair. Look at that. He broke up with you for her. You created it yourself based on how you respond. No, probably reacted as a better word, how you reacted to that moment. You could choose. Instead, as he looks at this beautiful work of art going by, notice that, get into a bit of your coy temptress. Lean a little forward, maybe move your boobs up a little more as you lean in to see him and go, she was pretty hot, wasn't she? And he's like, oh, he's busted, right? But he's not made wrong. He's not made wrong. And like, oh, you're a bad boy. You're still going to get in trouble tonight, right? Like, so you see it. You acknowledge it, but you embrace it. You go with it. And a man that sees a woman who can be real and confident and coy in the face of that. And you can't pretend that. You've got to mean it. And the underneath work to really meaning it and being able to do that with your man is a sense of worthiness within yourself. That, yes, there are always going to be women more beautiful than you. There will. And there will always be women probably less beautiful than you. It's just part of life. And if you want your whole life to be a comparison thing, you will be afraid and insecure the rest of your life. You need to start healing that inner place where you know that you are all that is without even trying. Sexy exactly as you are. And own that. And come what may, circumstances on the outside, you're OK. And thus, you will choose a man that believes that to and sees that to. And that's that inner confidence work that if you don't do it, you're just going to keep being hurt. And lastly, lastly, I would say a lot of women get very comfortable in a couple of their personas. Maybe you do cute really well, or you do smart really well, or you do naughty really well. But you sort of don't do all the flavors. And there goes somebody, a woman walking by, and she's got soft down. And you're not very soft. You might be naughty, or even like dorky, or like whatever. But you don't have that one. And he's looking at that quality that you're not. Now that doesn't mean you're not enough, because every woman has all the flavors of the feminine inside her. So you could, as you go to bed that night, notice what was it about her that caught his eye? And how can I cultivate that within me? Not to keep my guy because I'm so scared and insecure. No. To do it because I choose to be the fullness of the feminine myself for my own joy and for my own fulfillment, which will also, his eyes won't stray so much because he'll be able to see it in you and enjoy it within you. And it will improve your relationship. Yeah, that was really powerful. And I just want to take a second and just thank you for one of the things that I noticed that you do a lot of is talk about a lot of things that a lot of women are kind of feel ashamed about and embarrassed about. And this is really, really important, powerful work. And so I just think it's awesome. And thank you for doing that. One of the things that I'd like to kind of switch the topic over to is the idea of orgasms. And I know that this is another thing that a lot of women are embarrassed to talk about. But some women don't experience orgasms. Some women don't really know how to control when they experience orgasms. Or there's kind of this, I've noticed that some women have this kind of goal set mindset going on about reaching orgasm. How can a woman experience an orgasm? Like what does it take to experience and feel that? So I'm not a sexologist and I have a lot of wonderful sexologist colleagues to refer you to if it's like a biological thing. However, on an emotional level, I can help you. My experience with orgasms and with my clients is they're very connected to your capacity to feel safe in your body, safe on the planet, and your capacity to surrender to the unknown. A lot of women that have been hurt in the past, or men for that matter, excuse me, live from the head up, strategizing, how can I be safe? Really, that's all that life has become. How can I be in control and never be hurt again and be safe? And as a result, they don't have a connection in their body and orgasms don't occur in the mind. It's way down here. So you need to be able to go down and heal the fear and find that safety and a sense of control, not of the world, but of your capacity to respond to the world and also that connection to God, to source, to knowing, to discernment, to awareness of like, come what may, I know how to respond, I can be safe. When all that inner work is done and you can surrender to the sunshine, surrender to going out on a date and not knowing what's gonna happen, surrender to the day. I mean, I remember back when I was 16 and my friend was about to come over and visit me and they died. I'm like, what? I didn't think that could happen in life. So that sense of like, everything's okay in life. You know, we get blindsided in a lot of different ways and we go whoop and live from here up. But the key is in the place of pain, can we keep our heart open? And if we shut it down for a decade or two or three, opening it up again and feeling through that with a coach like myself or you and they can process that through and release decades of stuffed fear, it'll leave and you'll have this sense of eternal safety, eternal oneness. And that capacity is absolutely required to let go and have an orgasm. When that energy builds, when you're out of control, that's how an orgasm happens. It's not a strategic step-by-step plan in your mind. It doesn't work like that. Orgasms are not goal-oriented. Quite often, if the harder you try, the less they'll happen. So it's the complete opposite to what a lot of women have as their skill set. Focus, goal, work, hard, result. It's not that way, it's the opposite. It's let go, be out of control, surrender, allow, receive. And it can be terrifying. And so the inner work that I do with women to heal those wounds inside allows them to have an experience of safety. And then the next one would be playfulness. Like go outside and say, okay, life, have your way with me today. I dare you. Or go for a walk in nature like the beautiful forest behind your head. And just say, nature penetrate me. I mean, you're not gonna get in much trouble having the nature penetrate you because it's beautiful and it's amazing. But you start to practice receiving, honoring, penetration. So that by the time you choose a partner that honors you, your body's ready, your heart is ready, things have been cleared away and you can enjoy the unknown. And go from in orgasmic to orgasmic or orgasmic to multiple orgasms or non-ejaculatory to ejaculatory. There's so many wonderful places of bliss and pleasure to explore. And yet you first need to do the healing work, like anything in life. It's not gonna be from here up. That's a short-term strategy of survival. The thriving and the pleasure is found when you heal deep within your body and receive all that's waiting for you. So what about, how about when, if you want to kind of talk to a man about what turns you on more? Do you have any specific tips about how to approach that conversation in a way that doesn't seem awkward or strange or weird? Yeah, I call it the sandwich and it's praising him for something that he does well already. Like I said before, oh, it turns me on so much or it makes me really wet when or makes me juicy when. So set him up to win of what you want more of and then put the other side of the sandwich on. I'm just so lucky that I have the most amazing boyfriend in the world. So for example, in the actual love-making moment, you can say, oh, I just really love it when you touch my arm. What would make me so happy is if you touched it 1,000 times slower while looking at me in my eyes. Ah, you are the most incredible man I've ever met. That would be amazing. And you can use that template for anything that you want. Note that if you get curt or crunchy or judgmental and go, oh, don't do that or stop that or hey, when you do that, he's gonna go whew. And the intimacy, the connection is gone and he's gonna be more timid in trying new things and there's always gonna be sort of something in this space there. So it takes great courage when you're vulnerable and open and out of control to be kind and to be tender and invitational. It takes practice, but the outcome is so worth it. If you could just take a beat. Hear my voice going, sandwich girl, do the sandwich. And you're like, okay, say something kind because he wants to please you. And every woman is different and every woman is different during different times of the month. So there's no proper way to do it even if you got it right on Thursday. Next Thursday, her body's different. She's in a different part of her cycle. It's probably not gonna work or she had something go bad at work that day or we're different all the time. So for him, I always coach him to see women as a mystery and that you never know how to do it and to be very aware and ask her questions. And then for the ladies, I say, be verbal. Be verbal in your moans. Be verbal in the way you express in your body what works for you and praise, praise, praise. And then even the next day, you can text him or say something like remember last night when you did such and such? And just walk away. He'd be like, okay, okay, note to self. All right, she likes that. So there's just a plethora of ways to praise him to do what you want. You just have to have the courage to start talking about it. That's awesome. So do you have anything for how to turn a man on or how to figure out what a man likes? I mean, I was just gonna say, you. He just likes you. I mean, that's pretty simple. Most of my male clients say, I love, I'm so turned on by a confident woman. And what they don't mean is, yes, I'm very accomplished from my chin up but I'm very smart and I have, that's not what they mean. They mean a woman whose heart is all the wide, way open. And she's still, she's vulnerable, but she still dares you. Like that's the kind of confidence they mean. Like comfort in her skin, comfort in her body, comfort in the unknown, comfort in the mystery to still from fullness say Adaria. That's really what turns guys on. So there's no tips or techniques or what to wear or what to say. It's more about cultivating that sense with yourself. And that's just joyful to be that way as a woman. And you can get everyone to take your guard here. I have, these guys always wanna take my garbage out. I don't know why, but they're just like, I praise them so much. I tell them how much it makes me happy. And I've always got someone doing that for me. Always got people carrying my groceries for me because I'm this radiant woman with all this love and juiciness to gush on people authentically. And guys are just happy to receive that. They don't get a lot of that in the world. So just be juicy and grateful and appreciative and authentic about it. Do your inner work so it can be authentic and don't hold back. Like love being a woman and love showering that on your man. And even though he's like, oh, don't say that. That embarrasses me. Say it. Say his biceps are hot in front of his friends. Like just be a goofball. Be your sensual self. Be free. Be authentically free. And that for your guy, for a guy that's a great match for you, that's gonna turn him on. And if it doesn't, he's not your match. Let him go. Bless you, release you, move on. Because for every pot, there is a lid, right? So keep showing up. Even if you've had a string of losers, don't give up, don't give up. You're just being trained. You're just being trained to keep that heart open. And then boom, you're being yourself in there he is. And you're like, oh, I'm so glad I did all that work. I'm so glad I did those coaching courses. I'm so glad I did that inner work. I get to be with my beloved, you know? Let yourself have that. Keep going. Awesome. So I knew this inner view. So you said that you have a gift that you wanted to share with our community. Can you talk a little bit about what that is? Sure, sure. It's a series of six audios. It's actually three for women and three for men. But I want you to, ladies, download the men ones as well because the more you understand about how guys work, the more you can have an edge above women who don't. So there's some good insights into the men ones as well. And the three for women, I'll just talk about one. And it tends to be the most difficult one. As, excuse me, we age as women. We feel less worthy, less beautiful, less valued than somebody 20 years younger. So this particular audio is about how to feel sexy as you age, like a fine wine. Like those leather couches that have been sat on for years and years and it's just like, oh yeah. You've got to be able to let go of any beliefs that as you get older, you're somehow less of value and shift that one on its ass and really own your grandeur and your beauty and your lusciousness as you grow older. So that's just one of the three. All of them are basically about turning any beliefs or myths on their heads so you can embrace a new way of thinking, a new point of view, a new way of being so that you can more effortlessly attract the love and attention you deserve being exactly who you are. And you'll give them the link to that. Yeah, so there's a link underneath this video right here. You can go and download that whenever you'd like. And so thanks a lot, Alana, for being here and doing this. It's been a treat and I love everything that you have to say and it's great, great advice. So if you're watching this, you should listen and do exactly what she said. So thanks again for being here and I really appreciate all your advice. Oh, you're so welcome. Thank you for having me. And one thing I just feel inspired to share if it's okay with you, Matthew. Sometimes you find a mentor and it's Matthew and you know it and you sign up because you've been waiting all your life to find that perfect teacher. Maybe that perfect teacher is me. And so what I'd like you to do is tell me that Matthew sent me, send me an email. Matthew sent me and send it to my manager which is manager at alanaprat.com, A-L-L-A-N-A-P-R-A-T-T.com. So I know that Matthew sent me. And normally my strategy sessions are $597 but if there's one of you out there, the first lady to email me that goes, you know what? This lady resonates with me. I want to explore more with her than I would love to meet you. But I want to know that you came from Matthew. So just say Matthew sent me and let's connect absolutely for free. Thank you who has this video and I hope you've learned some really awesome insights into yourself and how you can connect with men and lasting love that you want in your life. So thanks a lot and I'll speak with you again soon. Wow.