 11. A regular piece super by Jove, said Lord Peter. Parker grunted and struggled irritably into an overcoat. It affords me, if I may say so, the greatest satisfaction," continued the noble lord, that in a collaboration like ours all the uninteresting and disagreeable routine work is done by you. Parker grunted again. Do you anticipate any difficulty about the warrant? Enquired Lord Peter. Parker grunted a third time. I suppose you've seen to it that all this business is kept quiet. Of course. You've muzzled the workhouse people. Of course. And the police. Yes. Because if you haven't, there'll probably be nobody to arrest. My dear whimsy, do you think I'm a fool? I had no such hope. Parker grunted finally and departed. Lord Peter settled down to a perusal of his dante. It afforded him no solace. Lord Peter was hampered in his career as a private detective by a public school education. Despite Parker's admonitions, he was not always able to discount it. His mind had been warped in its young growth by raffles and Sherlock Holmes, or the sentiments for which they stand. He belonged to a family which had never shot a fox. I'm an amateur, said Lord Peter. Nevertheless, while communing with Dante, he made up his mind. In the afternoon he found himself in Harley Street, so Julian Frecky might be consulted about one's nerves from two till four on Tuesdays and Fridays. Lord Peter rang the bell. Have you an appointment, sir? inquired the man who opened the door. No, said Lord Peter. But will you give Sir Julian my card? I think it possible he may see me without one. He sat down in the beautiful room in which Sir Julian's patience awaited his healing council. It was full of people. Two or three fashionably dressed women were discussing shops and servants together and teasing a toy griffin, a big, worried-looking man by himself in a corner, looked at his watch twenty times a minute. Lord Peter knew him by sight. It was Wintrington, a millionaire, who had tried to kill himself a few months ago. He controlled the finances of five countries, but he could not control his nerves. The finances of five countries were in Sir Julian Frecky's capable hands. By the fireplace sat a soldierly-looking young man of about Peter's own age. His face was prematurely lined in one. He sat bolt upright, his restless eyes darting in the direction of every slightest sound. On the sofa was an elderly woman of modest appearance, with a young girl. The girl seemed listless and wretched. The woman's look showed deep affection and anxiety tempered with a timid hope. Close beside Lord Peter was another younger woman, with a little girl. And Lord Peter noticed in both of them the broad cheekbones and beautiful gray, slanting eyes of the Slav. The child, moving restlessly about, trod on Lord Peter's patent leather toe, and the mother admonished her in French before turning to apologize to Lord Peter. Mais je vous en prie, madame," said the young man. It is nothing. She is nervous, pauvre petite, said the young woman. You are seeking advice for her? Yes, he is wonderful, the doctor. Figure it to yourself, monsieur. She cannot forget poor child the things she has seen. She leaned near so that the child might not hear. We have escaped from starving Russia six months ago. I dare not tell you she has such quick ears. And then the cries, the tremblings, the convulsions, they all begin again. We were skeletons when we arrived, mon Dieu. But that is better now. See, she is thin, but she is not starved. She would be fatter, but for the nerves that keep her from eating. We who are older, we forget. Enfin, on apprend de ne pas y penser. But these children, when one is young, monsieur, tout sa impression trop. Lord Peter, escaping from the thralldom of British good form, expressed himself in that language in which sympathy is not condemned to mutism. But she is much better, much better, said the mother proudly, the great doctor. He does marvels. C'est ton homme, Précius, said Lord Peter. Ah, monsieur, c'est ton sang qui opère des miracles. Nous prions pour lui ne tâcher moi tous les jours. N'est pas chéri? And consider, monsieur, that he does all sa grande-homme, cet homme illustre, for nothing at all. When we come here, we have not even the clothes upon our backs. We are ruined, famished. Et avec sa que nous sommes de bon famille. Mais, last, monsieur, en Russie, comme vous savez, ça ne vous vaut que des insultes, des atrocités. Enfin, the great Sir Julian sees us. He says, Madame, your little girl is very interesting to me. Say no more, I cure her for nothing. Pour ses beaux yeux, a-t-il ajouté en riant? Ah, monsieur, c'est ton sang, un véritable sang. And the Natasha is much, much better. Madame, je vous en féliciter. And you, monsieur, you are young, well, strong. You also suffer? It is still the war, perhaps? A little remains of shell-shock, said Lord Peter. Ah, yes, so many good, brave young men. Sir Julian can spare you a few minutes, my lord, if you will come in now, said the servant. Lord Peter bowed to his neighbour and walked across the waiting-room. As the door of the consulting-room closed behind him, he remembered having once gone disguised into the staff-room of a German officer. He experienced the same feeling, the feeling of being caught in a trap, and mingling of bravado and shame. He had seen Sir Julian frecky several times from a distance, but never close. Now, while carefully and quite truthfully detailing the circumstances of his recent nervous attack, he considered the man before him, a man taller than himself, with immense breadth of shoulder and wonderful hands, a face beautiful, impassioned and inhuman, fanatical, compelling eyes, bright blue amid the ruddy brush of hair and beard. They were not the cool and kindly eyes of the family doctor. They were the brooding eyes of the inspired scientist, and they searched one through. Well, thought Lord Peter, I shan't have to be explicit anyhow. Yes, said Sir Julian. Yes. You had been working too hard, puzzling your mind. Yes, more than that perhaps, troubling your mind, shall we say? I found myself faced with a very alarming contingency. Yes, unexpectedly perhaps. Very unexpected indeed. Yes, following on a period of mental and physical strain. Well, perhaps. Nothing out of the way. Yes. The unexpected contingency was personal to yourself? It demanded an immediate decision as to my own actions, yes, in that sense it was certainly personal. Quite so. You would have to assume some responsibility, no doubt. A very grave responsibility. Affecting others besides yourself? Affecting one other person vitally, and a great number indirectly. Yes, the time was night. You were sitting in the dark? Not at first. I think I put the light out afterwards. Quite so. That action would naturally suggest itself to you. Were you warm? I think the fire had died down. My man tells me that my teeth were chattering when I went into him. Yes, you live in Piccadilly? Yes. Heavy traffic sometimes goes past during night, I expect. Oh, frequently. Just so. Now, this decision you refer to. You had taken that decision? Yes. Your mind was made up? Oh, yes. You had decided to take the action, whatever it was? Yes. Yes. It involved perhaps a period of inaction. Of comparative inaction, yes. Of suspense, shall we say? Yes, of suspense certainly. Possibly of some danger? I don't know that that was in my mind at the time. No. It was a case in which you could not possibly consider yourself. If you like to put it that way? Quite so. Yes. You had these attacks frequently in 1918? Yes. I was very ill for some months. Quite. Since then they have recurred less frequently? Much less frequently. Yes. When did the last occur? About nine months ago. Under what circumstances? I was being worried by certain family matters. It was a question of deciding about some investments, and I was largely responsible. Yes. You were interested last year, I think in some police case? Yes. The recovery of Lord Attenbury's emerald necklace. That involved some severe mental exercise? I suppose so, but I enjoyed it very much. Yes. Was the exertion of solving the problem attended by any bad result physically? None. No. You were interested but not distressed. Exactly. Yes. You have been engaged in other investigations of the kind? Yes, little ones. With bad results for your health? Not a bit of it. On the contrary, I took up these cases as a sort of distraction. I had a bad knock just after the war, which didn't make matters any better for me, don't you know? Ah. You are not married? No. No. Will you allow me to make an examination? Just come a little nearer to the light. I want to see your eyes. Whose advice have you had till now? Sir James Hodges. Ah, yes. He was a sad loss to the medical profession. A really great man, a true scientist. Yes, thank you. Now I should like to try you with this little invention. What's it do? Well, it tells me about your nervous reactions. Will you sit here? The examination that followed was purely medical. When it was concluded, Sir Julian said, Now, Lord Peter, I'll tell you about yourself in quite un-technical language. Thanks, said Peter. That's kind of you. I'm an awful fool about long words. Yes. Are you fond of private theatricals, Lord Peter? Not particularly, said Peter, genuinely surprised. Awful borers rule, why? I thought you might be, said the specialist Riley. Well now, you know quite well that the strain you put on your nerves during the war has left its mark on you. It has left what I may call old wounds in your brain. Sensations received by your nerve endings sent messages to your brain, and produced minute physical changes there. Changes we are only beginning to be able to detect, even with our most delicate instruments. These changes in their turn set up sensations, or I should say more accurately, that sensations are the names we give to these changes of tissue when we perceive them. We call them horror, fear, sense of responsibility, and so on. Yes, I follow you. Very well. Now, if you stimulate those damaged places in your brain again, you run the risk of opening up the old wounds. I mean that if you get nerve sensations of any kind, producing the reactions which we call horror, fear, and sense of responsibility, they may go on to make disturbance right along the old channel, and produce in their turn physical changes which you will call by the names you are accustomed to associate with them. Dread of German minds, responsibility for the lives of your men, strained attention, and the inability to distinguish small sounds through the overpowering noise of guns. I see. This effect would be increased by extraneous circumstances, producing other familiar physical sensations—night, cold, or the rattling of heavy traffic, for instance. Yes. Yes. The old wounds are nearly healed, but not quite. The ordinary exercise of your mental faculties has no bad effect. It is only when you excite the injured part of your brain. Yes, I see. Yes. You must avoid these occasions. You must learn to be irresponsible, Lord Peter. My friends say I'm only too irresponsible already. Very likely. A sensitive nervous temperament often appears so, owing to its mental nimbleness. Oh. Yes, this particular responsibility you were speaking of still rests upon you. Yes, it does. You have not yet completed the course of action on which you have decided. Not yet. You feel bound to carry it through. Oh, yes, I can't back out of it now. No. You are expecting further strain? A certain amount. Do you expect it to last much longer? Very little longer now. Ah. Your nerves are not all they should be. No? No. Nothing to be alarmed about, but you must exercise care while undergoing this strain, and afterwards you should take a complete rest. How about a voyage in the Mediterranean or the South Seas or somewhere? Thanks, I'll think about it. Meanwhile, to carry you over the immediate trouble, I will give you something to strengthen your nerves. It will do you no permanent good, you understand, but it will tide you over the bad time, and I will give you a prescription. Thank you. Sir Julian got up and went into a small surgery leading out of the consulting room. Lord Peter watched him moving about, boiling something in writing. Presently he returned with a paper and a hypodermic syringe. Here is the prescription. And now, if you will just roll up your sleeve. I will deal with the necessity of the immediate moment. Lord Peter obediently rolled up his sleeve. Sir Julian Frecky selected a portion of his forearm and anointed it with iodine. What's that you're going to stick into me, bugs? The surgeon laughed. Not exactly, he said. He pinched up a portion of flesh between his finger and thumb. You've had this kind of thing before, I expect. Oh, yes, said Lord Peter. He watched the cool fingers, fascinated, and the steady approach of the needle. Yes, I've had it before. And you know, I don't care frightfully about it. He had brought up his right hand and it closed over the surgeon's wrist like a vice. The silence was like a shock. The blue eyes did not waver. They burned down steadily upon the heavy white lids below them. Then these slowly lifted. The gray met the blue, coldly, steadily, and held them. When lovers embrace, there seems no sound in the world but their own breathing. So the two men breathed, face to face. As you like, of course, Lord Peter, said Sir Julian courteously. I'm afraid I'm rather a silly ass, said Lord Peter. But I never could abide these little gadgets. I had one once that went wrong and gave me a rotten bad time. They make me a bit nervous. In that case, replied Sir Julian, it would certainly be better not to have the injection. It might rouse up just those sensations which we are desirous of avoiding. You will take the prescription then and do what you can to lessen the immediate strain as far as possible. Oh yes, I'll take it easy, thanks! said Lord Peter. He rolled his sleeve down neatly. I'm much obliged to you. If I have any further troubles, I'll look in again. Do, do! said Sir Julian cheerfully. Only make an appointment another time. I'm rather rushed these days. I hope your mother is quite well. I saw her the other day at the Battersea Enquest. You should have been there. It would have interested you. Tore your throat and ravaged your eyes. You could not see your feet. You stumbled in your walk over poor men's graves. The feel of Parker's old trench coat beneath your fingers was comforting. You had felt it in worse places. You clung on now for fear you should get separated. The dim people moving in front of you were like broken specters. Take care, gentlemen! said a toneless voice out of the yellow darkness. There's an open grave just hereabouts. You bore away to the right and floundered in a mass of freshly turned clay. Hold up, old man! said Parker. Where's Lady Levy? In the mortuary. The Duchess of Denver is with her. Your mother is wonderful, Peter. Isn't she? said Lord Peter. A dim blue light carried by somebody ahead wavered and stood still. Here you are! said a voice. Two Dante-esque shapes with pitchforks loomed up. Have you finished? asked somebody. Nearly done, sir. The demons fell to work again with the pitchforks. No. Spades. Somebody sneezed. Parker located the sneezer and introduced him. Mr. Levitt represents the home secretary, Lord Peter Wimsey. We are sorry to drag you out on such a day, Mr. Levitt. It's all in the day's work, said Mr. Levitt hoarsely. He was muffled to the eyes. The sound of spades for many minutes. An iron noise of tools thrown down. Demons stooping and straining. A black-bearded specter at your elbow introduced. The master of the workhouse. A very painful matter, Lord Peter. You will forgive me for hoping you and Mr. Parker may be mistaken. I should like to be able to hope so too. Something heaving, straining, coming up out of the ground. Steady men, this way, can you see? Be careful of the graves. They lie pretty thick hereabouts. Are you ready? Right you are, sir. You go on with the lantern. We can follow you. Lumbering footsteps. Catch hold of Parker's trench coat again. That you old man. Oh, I beg your pardon, Mr. Levitt. Thought you were Parker. Hello, whimsy. Here you are. More graves. A headstone shouldered crookedly a slant. A trip and jerk over the edge of the rough grass. The squeal of gravel under your feet. This way, gentlemen, mind the step. The mortuary. Raw red brick. And sizzling gas jets. Two women in black. And Dr. Grimbold. The coffin laid on the table with a heavy thump. Have you got that there, screwdriver-bill? Thank you. Be careful with the chisel now. Not much substance. These are your boards, sir. Several long creaks. A sob. The Duchess's voice. Kind, but peremptory. Hush, Christine. You mustn't cry. A mutter of voices. The lurching departure of the Dante demons. Good decent demons in Cordroy. Dr. Grimbold's voice. Cool and detached, as if in the consulting room. Now, have you got that lamp, Mr. Wingate? Thank you. Yes, here on the table, please. Be careful not to catch your elbow in the flex, Mr. Levitt. It would be better, I think, if you came on this side. Yes, yes, thank you. That's excellent. The sudden brilliant circle of an electric lamp over the table. Dr. Grimbold's beard and spectacles. Mr. Levitt blowing his nose. Parker bending close. The master of the workhouse peering over him. The rest of the room in the enhanced dimness of the gas jets and the fog. A low murmur of voices. All heads bent over the work. Dr. Grimbold again, beyond the circle of the lamp light. We don't want to distress you unnecessarily, Lady Levy, if you will just tell us what to look for. The... Yes, yes, certainly. And... Yes, stopped with gold. Yes, the lower jaw, the last but one on the right. Yes, no teeth missing. No, yes. What kind of a mole? Yes, just over the left breast? Oh, I beg your pardon, just under. Yes, appendicitis? Yes, a long one, yes, in the middle? Yes, I quite understand. A scar on the arm? Yes, I don't know if we shall be able to find that. Yes, any little constitutional weakness that might... Oh yes, arthritis, yes. Thank you, Lady Levy. That's very clear. Don't come unless I ask you to. Now, Wingate. A pause. A murmur. Pulled out? After death, you think? Well, so do I. Where is Dr. Colgrove? You attended this man in the workhouse? Yes. Do you recollect? No. You're quite certain about that? Yes, we mustn't make a mistake, you know. Yes, but there are reasons why Sir Julian can't be present. I'm asking you, Dr. Colgrove. Well, you're certain. That's all I want to know. Just bring the light closer, Mr. Wingate, if you please. These miserable shells let the damp in so quickly. Ah! What do you make of this? Yes, yes. Well, that's rather unmistakable, isn't it? Who did the head? Oh, frecky, of course. I was going to say they did good work at St. Luke's. Beautiful, isn't it, Dr. Colgrove? A wonderful surgeon. I saw him when he was at Guy's. Oh no, gave it up years ago. Nothing like keeping your hand in. Ah! Yes, undoubtedly that's it. Have you a towel handy, sir? Thank you. Over the head, if you please. I think we might have another here. Now, Lady Levy, I am going to ask you to look at a scar and see if you recognize it. I am sure you are going to help us by being very firm. Take your time. You won't see anything more than you absolutely must. Lucy, don't leave me. No, dear. A space cleared at the table. The lamp light on the Duchess's white hair. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. No, no. I couldn't be mistaken. There's that funny little kink in it. I've seen it hundreds of times. Oh, Lucy. Ruben. Only a moment more, Lady Levy. The mole. I—I think so. Oh, yes. That is the very place. Yes. And the scar. Was it three-cornered, just above the elbow? Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Is this it? Yes, yes. I must ask you definitely, Lady Levy. Do you, from these three marks, identify the body as that of your husband? Oh, I must, mustn't I. Nobody else could have them just the same in just those places. It is, my husband. It is, Ruben. Oh. Thank you, Lady Levy. You have been very brave and very helpful. But I don't understand yet. How did he come here, who did this dreadful thing? Hush, dear, said the Duchess. The man is going to be punished. Oh, but how cruel, poor Ruben, who could have wanted to hurt him. Can I see his face? No, dear, said the Duchess. That isn't possible. Come away. You mustn't distress the doctors and people. Oh, no. They've all been so kind. Oh, Lucy. We'll go home, dear. You don't want us any more, Dr. Grimbold. No, Duchess. Thank you. We are very grateful to you and to Lady Levy for coming. There was a pause while the two women went out. Parker collected and helpful, escorting them to their waiting-car. Then Dr. Grimbold again. I think Lord Peter Wimsey ought to see the correctness of his deductions. Lord Peter, very painful. You may wish to see. Yes, I was uneasy at the inquest. Yes, Lady Levy. Remarkably clear evidence. Yes, most shocking case. Ah, here's Mr. Parker. You and Lord Peter Wimsey entirely justified. Do I really understand? Really. I can hardly believe it. So distinguished a man. As you say, when a great brain turns to crime. Yes. Look here. Marvelous work. Marvelous. Somewhat obscured by this time, of course. But the most beautiful sections. Here, you see, the left hemisphere, and here, through the corpus striatum. Here again, the very track of the damage done by the blow. Wonderful. Guessed it. Saw the effect of the blow as he struck it, you know. Ah, I should like to see his brain, Mr. Parker. And to think that— Heavens! Lord Peter, you don't know what a blow you have struck at the whole profession, the whole civilized world. Oh, my dear sir, can you ask me? My lips are sealed, of course. All our lips are sealed. The way back, through the burial-ground. Fog again, and the squeal of wet gravel. Are your men ready, Charles? They have gone. I sent them off when I saw Lady Levy to the car. Who's with them? Sugg. Sugg? Yes, poor devil. They've had him up on the mat at headquarters for bungling the case. All that evidence of thipses about the nightclub was corroborated, you know. That girl he gave the gin and bitters to was caught, and came and identified him, and they decided their case wasn't good enough, and let thips and the Horrocks girl go. Then they told Sugg he had overstepped his duty and ought to have been more careful. So he ought. But he can't help being a fool. I was sorry for him. It may do him some good to be in at the death. After all, Peter, you and I had special advantages. Yes, well, it doesn't matter. Whoever goes won't get there in time. Sugg's as good as another. But Sugg, an experience rare in his career, was in time. Parker and Lord Peter were at 110 Piccadilly. Lord Peter was playing Bach, and Parker was reading Origen when Sugg was announced. We've got our man, sir, said he. Good God! said Peter, alive! We were just in time, my lord. We rang the bell, and marched straight up past his man to the library. He was sitting there doing some writing. When we came in he made a grab for his hypodermic, but we were too quick for him, my lord. We didn't mean to let him slip through our hands, having got so far. We searched him thoroughly and marched him off. He is actually in jail, then. Oh yes, safe enough, with two warders, to see he doesn't make a way with himself. You surprise me, inspector, have a drink. Thank you, my lord. I may say that I am very grateful to you. This case was turning out a pretty bad egg for me, if I was rude to your lordship. Oh, it's all right, inspector, said Lord Peter hastily. I don't see how you could possibly have worked it out. I had the good luck to know something about it from other sources. That's what Frecky says. Already the great surgeon was a common criminal in the inspector's eyes, a mere surname. He was writing a full confession when we got hold of him, addressed to your lordship. The police will have to have it, of course, but seeing it's written for you, I brought it along for you to see first. Here it is. He handed Peter a bulky document. Thanks, said Peter. Like to hear it, Charles? Rather. Accordingly, Lord Peter read it aloud. End of Chapter 12. Read by Kara Schellenberg, www.kray.org, on February 15, 2007, in Oceanside, California. For more information or to volunteer, please visit www.librivox.org. Reading by Kristen Hughes. Whose Body, by Dorothy L. Sayers. Dear Lord Peter, when I was a young man, I used to play chess with an old friend of my father's. He was a very bad and very slow player, and he could never see when a checkmate was inevitable, but insisted on playing every move out. I never had any patience with that kind of attitude, and I will freely admit now that the game is yours. I must either stay at home and be hanged or escape abroad and live in an idle and insecure obscurity. I prefer to acknowledge defeat. If you have read my book on criminal lunacy, you will remember that I wrote, in the majority of cases, the criminal betrays himself by some abnormality attendant upon this pathological condition of the nervous tissues. His mental instability shows itself in various forms, an overweening vanity, leading him to brag of his achievement, a disproportionate sense of the importance of the offense, resulting from the hallucination of religion and driving him into confession, egomania, producing the sense of horror or conviction of sin, and driving him into headlong flight without covering his tracks, a reckless confidence, resulting in the neglect of the most ordinary precautions, as in the case of Henry Wainwright, who left a boy in charge of the murdered woman's remains while he went to Colicab. Or on the other hand, a nervous distrust of aperceptions in the past, causing him to revisit the scene of the crime to assure himself that all traces have been as safely removed as his own judgment knows them to be. I will not hesitate to assert that a perfectly sane man, not intimidated by religious or other delusions, could always render himself perfectly secure from detection, provided, that is, that the crime was sufficiently premeditated, and that he were not pressed for time or thrown out in his calculations by purely fortuitous coincidence. You know, as well as I do, how far I have made this assertion good in practice. The two accidents which betrayed me, I could not by any possibility have foreseen. The first was the chance recognition of Levy by the girl in the Battersea Park Road, which suggested a connection between the two problems. The second was that Thipp should have arranged to go down to Denver on the Tuesday morning, thus enabling your mother to get word of the matter through to you before the body was removed by the police, and to suggest a motive for the murder out of what she knew of my previous personal history. If I had been able to destroy these two accidentally forged links of circumstance, I will venture to say that you would never have so much as suspected me, still less obtain sufficient evidence to convict. Of all human emotions, except perhaps those of hunger and fear, the sexual appetite produces the most violent and, under some circumstances, the most persistent reactions. I think, however, I am right in saying that at the time when I wrote my book, my original sensual impulse to kill Sirubin Levy had already become profoundly modified by my habits of thought. To the animal lost to slay and the primitive human desire for revenge, there was added the rational intention of substantiating my own theories for the satisfaction of myself and the world. If all had turned out as I had planned, I should have deposited a sealed account of my experiment with the Bank of England, instructing my executors to publish it after my death. Now that accident has spoiled the completeness of my demonstration, I entrust the account to you, whom it cannot fail to interest, with the request that you will make it known among scientific men, injustice to my professional reputation. The really essential factors of success in any undertaking are money and opportunity, and as a rule the man who can make the first can make the second. During my early career, I thought I was fairly well off. I had not absolute command of circumstance. Accordingly, I devoted myself to my profession, and contented myself with keeping up a friendly connection with Rubin Levy and his family. This enabled me to remain in touch with his fortunes and interests, so that when the moment for action should arrive, I might know what weapons to use. Meanwhile, I carefully studied criminology in fiction and fact. My work on criminal lunacy was a side product of this activity, and saw how in every murder, the real crux of the problem was the disposal of the body. As a doctor, the means of death were always ready to my hand, and I was not likely to make any error in that connection, nor was I likely to betray myself on account of any illusory sense of wrongdoing. The sole difficulty would be that of destroying all connection between my personality and that of the corpse. You will remember that Michael Finsbury, in Stevenson's entertaining romance, observes what hangs people is the unfortunate circumstance of guilt. It became clear to me that the mere leaving about of a superfluous corpse could convict nobody, provided that nobody was guilty in connection with that particular corpse. Thus the idea of substituting the one body for the other was early arrived at. Though it was not till I obtained the practical direction of St. Luke's Hospital that I found myself perfectly unfettered in the choice and handling of dead bodies, from this period on I kept a careful watch on all the material brought in for dissection. My opportunity did not present itself until the week before Sirubin's disappearance, when the medical officer at the Chelsea Workhouse sent word to me that an unknown vagrant had been injured that morning by the fall of a piece of scaffolding, and was exhibiting some very interesting nervous and cerebral reactions. I went round and saw the case, and was immediately struck by the man's strong superficial resemblance to Sirubin. He had been heavily struck on the back of the neck, dislocating the fourth and fifth cervical vertebrae, and heavily bruising the spinal cord. It seemed highly unlikely that he would ever recover, either mentally or physically, and in any case there appeared to me to be no object in indefinitely prolonging so unprofitable an existence. He had obviously been able to support life until recently, as he was fairly well nourished, but the state of his feet and clothing showed that he was unemployed, and under present conditions he was likely to remain so. I decided that he would suit my purpose very well, and immediately put in train certain transactions in the city which I had already sketched out in my own mind. In the meantime the reactions mentioned by the Workhouse Doctor were interesting, and I made careful studies of them, and arranged for the delivery of the body to the hospital, when I should have completed my preparations. On the Thursday and Friday of that week I made private arrangements with various brokers to buy the stock of certain Peruvian oil fields, which had gone down almost to waste paper. This part of my experiment did not cost me very much, but I contrived to arouse considerable curiosity, and even a mild excitement. At this point I was of course careful not to let my name appear. The incidents of Saturday and Sunday gave me some anxiety lest my man should after all die before I was ready for him. But by the use of saline injections I contrived to keep him alive and, late on Sunday night, he even manifested disquieting symptoms of, at any rate, a partial recovery. On Monday morning the market in Peruvians opened briskly. Rumors had evidently got about that somebody knew something, and this day I was not the only buyer in the market. I bought a couple of hundred more shares in my own name and left the matter to take care of itself. At lunchtime I made my arrangements to run into Levy accidentally at the corner of the mansion house. He expressed, as I expected, his surprise at seeing me in that part of London. I simulated some embarrassment and suggested that we should lunch together. I dragged him to a place a bit off the usual beat, and there ordered a good wine and drank of it as much as he might suppose sufficient to induce a confidential mood. I asked him how things were going on change. He said, oh, all right, but appeared a little doubtful and asked me whether I did anything in that way. I said I had a little flutter occasionally, and that, as a matter of fact, I'd been put on to a rather good thing. I glanced round apprehensively at this point and shifted my chair nearer to his. I don't suppose you know anything about Peruvian oil, do you? He said. I started and looked round again and, leaning across to him, said dropping my voice. Well, I do as a matter of fact, but I don't want it to get about. I stand to make a good bid on it. But I thought the thing was hollow, he said. It hasn't paid a dividend for umpteen years. No, I said, it hasn't. But it's going to. I've got inside information. He looked a bit unconvinced, and I emptied off my glass and edged right up to his ear. Look here, I said. I'm not giving this away to everyone, but I don't mind doing you and Christine a good turn. You know, I've always kept a soft place in my heart for her, ever since the old days. You got in ahead of me that time, and now it's up to me to heap coals of fire on you both. I was a little excited by this time and he thought I was drunk. It's very kind of you, old man, he said. But I'm a cautious bird, you know, always was. I'd like a bit of proof. And he shrugged up his shoulders and looked like a pawnbroker. I'll give it to you, I said. But it isn't safe here. Come round to my place tonight after dinner, and I'll show you the report. How do you get hold of it? said he. I'll tell you tonight, said I. Come round after dinner, any time after nine, say. To Harley Street. He asked, and I saw that he meant coming. No, I said, to Battersea, Prince of Wales Road. I've got some work to do at the hospital. And look here, I said. Don't you let on to a soul that you're coming. I bought a couple of hundred shares today in my own name, and people are sure to get wind of it. If we're known to be about together, someone'll tweak something. In fact, it's anything but safe talking about it in this place. All right, he said. I won't say a word to anybody. I'll turn up about nine o'clock. You're sure it's a sound thing? It can't go wrong, I assured him, and I meant it. We parted after that, and I went round to the workhouse. My man had died at about eleven o'clock. I had seen him just after breakfast and was not surprised. I completed the usual formalities with the workhouse authorities, and arranged for his delivery at the hospital about seven o'clock. In the afternoon, as it was not one of my days to be in Harley Street, I looked up an old friend who lives close to Hyde Park, and found that he was just off to brighten on some business or other. I had tea with him and saw him off by the 535 from Victoria. On issuing from the barrier, it occurred to me to purchase an evening paper, and I thoughtlessly turned my steps to the bookstore. The usual crowds were rushing to catch the suburban trains home, and on moving away I found myself involved in a contrary stream of travellers, coming up out of the underground, or bolting from all sides for the 545 to Battersea Park in Wandsworth Common. I disengaged myself after some buffeting, and went home in a taxi, and it was not till I was safely seated there that I discovered somebody's gold rimmed Ponsnay involved in the astrakhan collar of my overcoat. The time, from six fifteen to seven, I spent concocting something to look like a bogus report for Sirubin. At seven I went through to the hospital, and found the workhouse van just delivering my subject at the side door. I had him taken straight up to the theatre, and told the attendant, William Watts, that I intended to work there that night. I told him I would prepare the body myself. The injection of a preservative would have been a most regrettable complication. I sent him about his business, and then went home and had dinner. I told my man that I should be working in the hospital that evening, and that he could go to bed at 10.30 as usual, as I could not tell whether I should be late or not. He is used to my erratic ways. I only keep two servants in the Battersea House, the man-servant and his wife, who cooks for me. The rougher domestic work is done by a charwoman, who sleeps out. The servant's bedroom is at the top of the house, overlooking Prince of Wales Road. As soon as I had dined I established myself in the hall with some papers. My man had cleared dinner by a quarter past eight, and I told him to give me the siphon and tantalus, and sent him downstairs. Levy rang the bell at twenty minutes past nine, and I opened the door to him myself. My man appeared at the other end of the hall, but I called to him that it was all right, and he went away. Levy wore an overcoat with evening dress and carried an umbrella. Why, how wet you are! I said. How did you come? By bus, he said, and the fool of a conductor forgot to put me down at the end of the road. It's pouring cats and dogs and pitch dark. I couldn't see where I was. I was glad he hadn't taken a taxi, but I had rather reckoned on as not doing so. Your little economies will be the death of you one of these days, I said. I was right there. But I hadn't reckoned on there being the death of me as well. I say again I could not have foreseen it. I sat him down by the fire and gave him a whisky. He was in high spirits about some deal in the Argentines he was bringing off the next day. We talked money for about a quarter of an hour, and then he said, Well, how about this Peruvian mare's nest of yours? It's no mare's nest, I said. Come and have a look at it. I took him upstairs into the library, and switched on the central light and the reading lamp on the writing table. I gave him a chair at the table with his back to the fire and fetched the papers I had been faking out of the safe. He took them and began to read them, poking over them in his short-sighted way while I mended the fire. As soon as I saw his head in a favourable position I struck him heavily with the poker, just over the fourth cervical. It was delicate work calculating the exact force necessary to kill him without breaking the skin. But my professional experience was useful to me. He gave one loud gasp and tumbled forward onto the table quite noiselessly. I put the poker back and examined him. His neck was broken and he was quite dead. I carried him into my bedroom and undressed him and cleared up the papers in the library. Then I went downstairs, took Levy's umbrella and let myself out at the hall door shouting, Good night, loudly enough to be heard in the basement if the servants should be listening. I walked briskly away down the street, went in by the hospital side door, and returned to the house noiselessly by way of the private passage. It would have been awkward if anybody had seen me then, but I leaned over the back stairs and heard the cook and her husband still talking in the kitchen. I slipped back into the hall, replaced the umbrella in the stand, cleared up my papers there, went up into the library and rang the bell. When the man appeared I told him to lock up everything except the private door to the hospital. I waited in the library until he had done so, and about ten-thirty I heard both servants go up to bed. I waited a quarter of an hour longer and then went through to the dissecting room. I wheeled one of the stretcher tables through the passage to the house door and then went to fetch Levy. It was a nuisance having to get him downstairs, but I had not liked to make away with him in any of the ground floor rooms in case my servant should take a fancy to poke his head in during the few minutes that I was out of the house, or while locking up. Besides, that was a flea-bite to what I should have to do later. I put Levy on the table, wheeled him across to the hospital, and substituted him for my interesting pauper. I was sorry to have to abandon the idea of getting a look at the latter's brain, but I could not afford to incur suspicion. It was still rather early, so I knocked down a few minutes getting Levy ready for dissection. Then I put my pauper on the table and trundled him over to the house. It was now five past eleven, and I thought I might conclude that the servants were in bed. I carried the body to my bedroom. He was rather heavy, but less so than Levy, and my alpine experience had taught me how to handle bodies. It is as much a matter of knack as of strength, and I am in any case a powerful man for my height. I put the body into the bed. Not that I expected anyone to look in during my absence. But if they should, they might just as well see me apparently asleep in the bed. I drew the clothes a little over his head, stripped, and put on Levy's clothes, which were fortunately a little big for me everywhere, not forgetting to take his spectacles, watch, and other oddments. At a little before half past eleven I was on the road looking for a cab. People were just beginning to come home from the theatre, and I was easily secured one at the corner of Prince of Wales Road. I told the man to drive me to Hyde Park Corner. There I got out, tipped him well, and asked him to pick me up again at the same place in an hour's time. He assented with an understanding grin, and I walked on up Park Lane. I had my own clothes with me in a suitcase, and carried my own overcoat and Levy's umbrella. When I got to number nine there were lights in some of the top windows. It was very nearly too early, owing to the old man's having sent the servants to the theatre. I waited about for a few minutes, and heard it strike the quarter- pass midnight. The lights were extinguished shortly after, and I let myself in with Levy's key. It had been my original intention, when I thought over this plan of murder, to let Levy disappear from the study or the dining-room, leaving only a heap of clothes on the hearth-rug. The accident of my having been able to secure Lady Levy's absence from London, however, made possible a solution more misleading, though less pleasantly fantastic. I turned on the whole light, hung up Levy's wet overcoat, and placed his umbrella in the stand. I walked up noisily and heavily to the bedroom and turned off the light by the duplicate switch on the landing. I knew the house well enough, of course. There was no chance of my running into the man-servant. Old Levy was a simple man who liked doing things for himself. He gave his valet little work, and never required any attendance at night. In the bedroom I took off Levy's gloves and put on a surgical pair, so as to leave no tell-tale fingerprints. As I wished to convey the impression that Levy had gone to bed in the usual way, I simply went to bed. The surest and simplest method of making a thing appear to have been done, is to do it. A bed that has been rumpled about with one's hands, for instance, never looks like a bed that has been slept in. I dared not use Levy's brush, of course, as my hair is not of his color. But I did everything else. I supposed that a thoughtful old man like Levy would put his boots handy for his valet. And I ought to have deduced that he would fold up his clothes. That was a mistake, but not an important one. Remembering that well thought-out little work of Mr. Bentley's, I had examined Levy's mouth for false teeth. But he had none. I did not forget, however, to wet his toothbrush. At one o'clock I got up and dressed in my own clothes by the light of my own pocket torch. I dared not turn on the bedroom lights as there were little blinds to the windows. I put on my own boots and an old pair of glashes outside the door. There was a thick turkey carpet on the stairs and hall floor. And I was not afraid of leaving marks. I hesitated whether to chance the banging of the front door, but decided it would be safer to take the latch-key. It is now in the Thames. I dropped it over Battersea Bridge the next day. I slipped quietly down and listened for a few minutes with my ear to the letterbox. I heard a constable tramp past. As soon as his steps had died away in the distance, I stepped out and pulled the door gingerly to. It closed almost soundlessly. And I walked away to pick up my cab. I had an overcoat of much the same pattern as Levy's, and had taken the precaution to pack an opera hat in my suitcase. I hoped the man would not notice that I had no umbrella this time. Fortunately the rain had diminished for the moment to a sort of drizzle, and if he noticed anything he made no observation. I told him to stop at fifty over-strand mansions, and I paid him off there, and stood under the porch till he had driven away. Then I hurried round to my own side door and let myself in. It was about a quarter to two. The harder part of my task still lay before me. My first step was to alter the appearance of my subject as to eliminate any immediate suggestion either of Levy or of the workhouse vagrant. A fairly superficial alteration was all I considered necessary, since there was not likely to be any hue and cry after the popper. He was fairly accounted for, and his deputy was at hand to represent him. Nor, if Levy was after all tracked to my house, would it be difficult to show that the body in evidence was, as a matter of fact, not his. A clean shave and a little hair oiling and a manicuring seemed sufficient to suggest a distinct personality for my silent accomplice. His hands had been well washed in hospital, and though calloused were not grimy. I was not able to do the work as thoroughly as I should have liked, because time was getting on. I was not sure how long it would take me to dispose of him, and, moreover, I feared the onset of rigor mortis, which would make my task more difficult. When I had him barbed to my satisfaction, I fetched a strong sheet and a couple of wide-roller bandages, and fastened him up carefully, padding him with cotton wool wherever the bandages might chafe or leave a bruise. Now came the really ticklish part of the business. I had already decided in my own mind that the only way of conveying him from the house was by the roof. To go through the garden at the back in this soft wet weather was to leave a ruinous trail behind us. To carry a dead man down a suburban street in the middle of the night seemed outside the range of practical politics. On the roof, on the other hand, the rain, which would have betrayed me on the ground, would stand my friend. To reach the roof it was necessary to carry my burden to the top of the house, past my servant's room, and hoist him out through the trap-door in the box-room roof. Had it merely been a question of going quietly up there myself, I should have had no fear of waking the servants. But to do so burdened by a heavy body was more difficult. It would be possible, provided that the man and his wife were soundly asleep. But if not, the lumbering tread on the narrow stair and the noise of opening the trap-door would be only too plainly audible. I tiptoed delicately up the stair and listened at their door. To my disgust I heard the man give a grunt and mutter something as he moved in his bed. I looked at my watch. My preparations had taken nearly an hour, first and last, and I dared not be too late on the roof. I determined to take a bold step and, as it were, bluff out in alibi. I went without precaution against noise into the bathroom. Turned on the hot and cold water taps to the full and pulled out the plug. My household has often had occasion to complain of my habit of using the bath at a regular night-hours. Not only does the rush of water into the cistern disturb any sleepers on the Prince of Wales roadside of the house, but my cistern is afflicted with peculiarly loud gurgling and thumpings, while frequently the pipes emit a loud groaning sound. To my delight on this particular occasion the cistern was in excellent form, honking, whistling and booming like a railway terminus. I gave the noise five minutes start, and when I calculated that the sleepers would have finished cursing me and put their heads under the clothes to shut out the den, I reduced the flow of water to a small stream and left the bathroom, taking good care to leave the light burning and lock the door after me. Then I picked up my pauper and carried him upstairs as lightly as possible. The box-room is a small attic on the side of the landing opposite to the servant's bedroom and the cistern-room. It has a trap-door reached by a short wooden ladder. I set this up, hoisted up my pauper and climbed up after him. The water was still racing into the cistern, which was making a noise as though it were trying to digest an iron chain, and with the reduced flow in the bathroom the groaning of the pipes had risen almost to a hoot. I was not afraid of anybody hearing other noises. I pulled the ladder through onto the roof after me. Between my house and the last house in Queen Carolyn Mansions, there is a space of only a few feet. Indeed, when the mansions were put up, I believed there was some trouble about ancient lights, but I suppose the parties compromised somehow. Anyhow, my seven-foot ladder reached well across. I tied the body firmly to the ladder and pushed it over till the far end was resting on the parapet of the opposite house. Then I took a short run across the cistern-room and box-room roof and landed easily on the other side, the parapet being happily both low and narrow. The rest was simple. I carried my pauper along the flat roofs, intending to leave him, like the hunchback in the story, on someone's staircase or down a chimney. I had got about half way along when I suddenly thought, why this must be about little tips' place, and I remembered his silly face and his silly chatter about vivisection. It occurred to me pleasantly how delightful it would be to deposit my parcel with him and see what he made of it. I lay down and peered over the parapet at the back. It was pitch dark and pouring with rain again by this time, and I risked using my torch. That was the only unconscious thing I did, and the odds against being seen from the house's opposite were long enough. One second's flash showed me what I had hardly dared to hope, an open window just below me. I knew those flats well enough to be sure it was either the bathroom or the kitchen. I made a noose in a third bandage that I had brought with me, and made it fast under the arms of the corpse. I twisted it into a double rope and secured the end to the iron stanchion of a chimney stack. Then I dangled our friend over. I went down after him myself with the aid of a drain pipe, and was soon hauling him in by Thipse's bathroom window. By that time I had got a little conceited with myself, and spared a few minutes to lay him out priddly and make him ship-shape. A sudden inspiration suggested that I should give him the pair of pants-snays which I had happened to pick up at Victoria. I came across them in my pocket while I was looking for a pen-knife to loosen a knot, and I saw what distinction they would lend his appearance, besides making it more misleading. I fixed them on him, and faced all traces of my presence as far as possible, and departed as I had come, going easily up between the drain pipe and the rope. I walked quietly back, recrossed my crevasse, and carried in my ladder and sheet. My discreet accomplice greeted me with a reassuring gurgle and thump. I didn't make a sound on the stairs, seeing that I had now been having a bath for about three quarters of an hour. I turned off the water, and enabled my deserving domestics to get a little sleep. I also felt it was time I had a little myself. First, however, I had to go over to the hospital and make all safe there. I took off Levy's head, and started to open up the face. In twenty minutes his own wife could not have recognized him. I returned, leaving my wet glashes and macintosh by the garden door. My trousers I dried by the gas stove in my bedroom, and brushed away all traces of mud and brick dust. My papa's beard I burned in the library. I got a good two hours' sleep from five to seven, when my man called me as usual. I apologized for having kept the water running so long and so late, and added that I thought I would have the cistern seen too. I was interested to note that I was rather extra hungry at breakfast, showing that my night's work had caused a certain wear and tear of tissue. I went over afterwards to continue my dissection. During the morning a peculiarly thick-headed police inspector came to inquire whether a body had escaped from the hospital. I had him brought to me where I was, and had the pleasure of showing him the work I was doing on Sir Ruben Levy's head. Afterwards I went round with him to the thipses, and was able to satisfy myself that my papa looked very convincing. As soon as the stock exchange opened I telephoned my various brokers, and by exercising a little care was able to sell out the greater part of my Peruvian stock on a rising market. Towards the end of the day, however, Bios became rather unsettled as a result of Levy's death, and in the end I did not make more than a few hundred by the transaction. Trusting I have now made clear to you any point which you may have found obscure, and with congratulations on the good fortune and perspicacity which have enabled you to defeat me, I remain, with kind remembrances to your mother, yours very truly, Julian Frecky. POST SCRIPTUM My will is made, leaving my money to St. Luke's Hospital, and bequeathing my body to the same institution for dissection. I feel sure that my brain will be of interest to the scientific world. As I shall die by my own hand, I imagine that there may be a little difficulty about this. Will you do me the favour, if you can, of seeing the persons concerned in the inquest, and obtaining that the brain is not damaged by an unskillful practitioner at the post-mortem, and that the body is disposed of according to my wish? By the way, it may be of interest to you to know that I appreciate your motive in calling this afternoon. It conveyed a warning, and I am acting upon it. In spite of the disastrous consequences to myself, I was pleased to realise that you had not underestimated my nerve and intelligence and refused the injection. Had you submitted to it, you would, of course, never have reached home alive. No trace would have been left in your body of the injection, which consisted of a harmless preparation of Strychnine, mixed with an almost unknown poison, for which there is at present no recognised test. A concentrated solution of S... At this point, the manuscript broke off. Well, that's all clear enough, said Parker. Isn't it queer, said Lord Peter, all that coolness, all those brains, and then he couldn't resist writing a confession to show how clever he was, even to keep his head out of the noose. And a very good thing for us, said Inspector Sugg, but Lord bless you, sir, these criminals are all alike. Frecky's epitaph, said Parker, when the inspector had departed. What next, Peter? I shall now give a dinner party, said Lord Peter, to Mr John P. Milligan and his secretary, and to Mrs Crimplesham and Wicks. I feel they deserve it for not having murdered Levy. Well, don't forget the Thipses, said Mr Parker. On no account, said Lord Peter, would I deprive myself of the pleasure of Mrs Thipses' company. Bunter My Lord The Napoleon Brandy End of Chapter Thirteen And End of Whose Body By Dorothy L. Sayers