 Keep tuned now for Father Knows Best tomorrow evening you'll enjoy the fine comedy programs of Phil Harris and Alice Faye and Bob Hope Bob special guest tomorrow will be two folks long familiar to all fans of the Bob Hope show for tomorrow night Miss Vera vague and mr. Jerry Kelowna will be in the Hope spotlight It'll be like old times to have these three fund makers back together on one show So be sure to tune to the NBC radio network tomorrow for laughs galore on the Bob Hope show Then stay tuned for Phil Harris and Alice Faye and another mirth-filled 30 minutes of comedy. That's tomorrow on NBC And now it's Father Knows Best on NBC Now listen to Father Knows Best transcribe starring Robert Young as father Springfield and another half hour visit with the folks in the white frame house on Maple Street Sit back and enjoy life with the Anderson Kathy Bud Betty Margaret and Jim has the head of this typical American household Again sets out to prove that father knows best The most Americans a bank is a fairly familiar institution. It's the place where you keep your money It's the place where the guard and a uniform rocks back and forth on his flat feet and watches you with a suspicious Eye while you try to find the line that will move the fastest never do However, there is one American with the name of Jim Anderson living in Springfield who feels that his particular family Holds the national if not the international record for knowing less about the functions of a bank than any other group of humans on the face of the earth How did he reach this conclusion? It all started one Saturday morning when Jim was at his desk in the den going over his checkbook like this 62 50 less 12 that was on the 23rd 975 to snows drugstore on the 24th 2480 for groceries 650 to AG Clark Bud Yeah, stop that count founded racket. What does it sound like? It sounds terrible and I'm trying to work down here Does it sound like a duck? I don't know what it sounds like. Just keep it quiet That's what it's supposed to sound like a duck. All right. I'm a lard duck All right a mallard duck, but it's lonesome All right But it was I are you in here dear? Yeah, what is it honey? What are you doing? I'm trying to balance the checkbook to the accompaniment of a flock of lonesome ducks Ducks, I don't know buds upstairs making strange sounds. I swear. This is the noisiest house sounds fairly quiet to me I'll wait till the next flight of mallards go over. Oh What I came to tell you dear we're going out tonight and the cleaner is bringing your suit back today You'd better give him a check the check what for you paid the cleaning bill just last week. I did Honey, don't you keep track of these things? That's what a checking account is for so you have a record of what you've paid I know I just didn't remember paying it Well look right here in your checkbook the stubble show when you paid it It'll be right in here with the Hey, what's this these two are blank? Oh, there were a couple of checks. I wrote must have been in a hurry I I didn't take time to write on the stub what they were for you didn't put down the amount either Well, no date either. Well, I was in a hurry dear. Oh Margaret how are you going to tell who you paid and how much if you don't write it down on the stubs? Well, I wrote it on the check, but we don't have the check Well, the bank can tell us they keep records of all those things honey They can't keep track of who you give your checks to then. I think we should go to another bank Margaret Can you keep it quiet bud? Well, stop it bud. You'll have a wild father Anyway, you're familiar enough about banking Margaret to know that your check stubs are your only record of what you've paid I know dear so I forgot to write it down on the stubs Look on the back of the checkbook. I sometimes jot things down there back of the checkbook Yeah, what's that written down there? Call Alice about the prunes. Oh I've got to do that Margaret But you don't have to come down I just I swear I'm gonna take those stairs out and put in a ladder How do you like this one dad? But what in the world are you doing? Does this sound like a moose? It sounds like a cow with her tail caught in the barn door Joe and I are going into business moose calls Well, that sounds like a nice practical enterprise Must be literally thousands of people with a burning desire to call a moose Yeah, we're gonna make all kinds of calls. Good. Why don't you make one down the street somewhere? I'm trying to do a little work. The idea is you make a noise like an animal and then another animal hears it Yes, I get the idea like the moose for instance Now a moose he hears that and he says to himself. Hey man, I thought this was a moose Yeah Well, he says to himself. Hey moose What have we here? Yeah, I know bud. So he comes running to take a look Understand the principle, but now why don't you go down to Joe's house and we're gonna sell kits Kits. Yeah, you buy a kit make your own moose call duck call or whatever you want to call We're gonna make kits for calling anything you want. Well, that's fine But I would you like to invest some money in the company dad? Not right now, but we've got a good name for it. We're gonna call it the irresistible noises corporation well fine When I see irresistible noises preferred on the stock exchange, I'll consider it We only need about 20 bucks to get started dad Not today, but but gee you you got your checkbook right there. All you have to do is write out a check I can see that a certain innocence about the cold facts of checkbooks tends to run in his family Huh, but you don't just write out a check when you want money. I know you got to cash it It's true, but there is also another factor involved trivial I grant but nonetheless to be accounted for that is the little matter of having money in the first place I just remembered one of those checks in my book. I wrote for Kathy's dress. Well good. How much was it? I think it was 785. All right. We'll put that down or was it 875 Honey, there's a difference these amounts have got to be exacter. I can never balance my books Why do you have to balance them? So that my figures here in the book coincide with the amount in the bank I have to know how much money we have left in the account Why don't you call the bank and ask them But banking doesn't operate that way. Oh that other check was to the milk man. I just remembered. What was the amount? I think I have it written down on the telephone pad in the kitchen. Oh, this would make a bookkeeper's hair turn gray How about the 20 bucks of the company dad? It's a guilt-edge investment. Not today, bud I could give the money right back to you. Oh, how do you figure that easy? I'll get a checking account for the company and I'll give you a check for 20 bucks But if you give me the $20 back again, you're out of business. Why? Because you don't have any more money. Sure. I do. I gave you a check. I still have the 20 bucks You don't either. I take your check down to Snow's drugstore and cash it and I have the 20 back again Not my 20. Then where did I get it from Snow's drugstore? But look Yes, I'm busy right now princess. What is it? I'm up there. I can't come up there But will you tell her he's busy? Dad, maybe I could get along from the government. Yeah, drop a line to the Treasury Sent me for my birthday $25. Well, that's fine princess try to hold on to it at least until this afternoon. I don't see any $25 She didn't send it in cash stupid. It's a money order money order. It's much the same thing as a check Hey, that's pretty good. Where do you order the money? You don't order the money. You said it's a money order. Where do you get the money? Well, you Where do you get the money for this father? Well, let's see. That's a postal money order You can get it from the post office who sent it to the post office. Nobody sent it to the post office Then how you gonna get it? But this is like a check as I said, it's a promise to pay It's the same as cash if I went to the post office and promised to pay would they give me 20 bucks? No, bud and Harry had bought this money order in Chicago That means that the post office there promises to pay to the bearer $25 So she's got to go to Chicago to get the money What you kids don't understand is that the transfer of funds in business is managed on a credit basis Like a charge account. Well, something like that. I'll explain it to you sometime Hello kitten, what's going on? Nothing shrimp. We're talking about money. That's good. Can I have my allowance daddy? Well, I don't have the change with me right now kitten. Why don't you give her a check? What's a check? I'll take a check for my allowance. What do I do with this money order father? Why were you I'd put it in the bank? I thought you had to go to the post office Now just take it to the bank open a savings account, and they'll take care of the whole thing now run along kids I have a whole stack of book work to do here. What about my allowance? I can't go to the bank today father They're closed if you're looking for a place to put your money. I've got a red-hot proposition I can imagine It'd be better than putting your money in a bank you give it to them And it just sits down there in an old safe. No, bud. That's not true in the first place Betty If you deposit that money order in a bank account the money is never actually in the bank. Where is it? They just tell you it's there, huh? If you put the money in then why isn't it there? It's there if you want to draw it out But the money isn't actually there Oh, that sounds like a cook a deal But I'm trying to explain well I took bookkeeping in school And I never understood why if you put money in the bank that the money wasn't really there. It's very simple you see well Wait a minute. I know what we'll do. I don't think you can explain it father I'm not gonna try to explain it princess We're going to open a little bank right here so you kids can see how it operates. Who's gonna run it? I will I'll be the bank. We'll call it the Anderson first national trust and savings. Hey, how can you do it father? What's this about someone being a bank father's going to do it and you're going to be the banker? Certainly all it takes is a few minutes of bookkeeping And I can't think of a better way for the children to learn the basic principles of banking I think this family circle bank idea is a real good thing Wouldn't be surprised if it caught on around the country might even make a national magazine When do you want to start father? Why wait let's begin right now the doors are open Ladies and gentlemen the Anderson first national trust and savings bank of Maple Street is as of this moment officially in business Act two of father knows best in just a moment There's wonderful radio entertainment all day long when you keep your dial tuned to this same NBC station You'll enjoy such fun packed programs as the Bob Hope daytime show Tommy Bartlett's welcome travelers Jay Stewart with it pays to be married and a host of others be sure to keep your dial set to the NBC radio network You'll hear your favorite daytime dramas on NBC too such perennial favorites is the road of life Pepper Young's family the right to happiness backstage wife Stella Dallas the woman in my house and young widow Brown All of these well-liked daytime programs are yours for the listening Monday through Friday on the NBC radio network Well, there's a new bank in Springfield It's called the Anderson first National and is the brainchild of Jim Anderson who is also president vice president chief teller and head bookkeeper At present moment the assets of this novel financial institution amount to exactly $30 $25 deposit by Betty and Kathy and Buds respective allowances minus one check for Accounts written by bud. It's Saturday evening now Jim and Margaret are in their room dressing for an evening out This is a tie look. All right, honey fine. Just straighten it a little You seem to be enjoying something oh just laughing over the way the kids responded to the bank idea Did you see bud when he came upstairs walking around with his checkbook in his shirt pocket? Oh, he's a big operator now They're gonna learn more out of this than they could get in the month of Sundays at school By the way, dear, do you have money enough for tonight? Oh, I have 15 or $20. Is this your money or the banks? It's mine That's the only thing wrong with the bank at this point the depositors haven't put in any cash I just have Betty's money order and bud and Kathy's allowances on the books and Speaking of the books. I wish you could remember that other check you wrote who you made it out to and what it was for I've been trying to recall Oh, I'll think of it you'd better hurry dear. We're supposed to meet the Williams is at 6 30 plenty of time Father, I just talked to Ralph and he wants me to go to the church bizarre with him tonight. Well good for Ralph I'll need some money. All right make out a check put it through the bank I left my checkbook down in the den are you coming down be there in a second now? You see how much better this is honey with the children writing checks on their own accounts They're going to think twice about spending money Could be though. It didn't seem that Betty devoted much thinking to the matter. Well, just give her time Coming princess I'll go down and handle this financial transaction. You come down when you're ready, honey. I'll just be a minute. I Haven't seen it princess the bank is only responsible for the depositors funds not his checkbook. Oh here It is up on the bookcase These little books are cute father. Why'd you get them? Oh, there's some old ones. I had kicking around in the desk Now how much do you want to draw out of your account? Oh? Five dollars all right, but remember it's a lot easier to draw money out of the bank than it is to put it in I know Cash Betty Anderson there, how's that? Hmm, it looks all right. Hey is the bank open for a few minutes You'll have to get in line There you are miss Anderson five dollars. Thank you now. What can I do for you young man? I want to get a loan from the bank Loan Joe and I are starting a business. We need some capital not to make more of those moose calls No, we gave up that idea. It's only good during hunting season. We got a real practical business It's good all year round. Well a bank is always interested in aiding any new and constructive enterprise What sort of business are you planning mr. Anderson? We're gonna buy up old automobile inner tubes and make hip boots out of them I Boots out of inner tubes not a bad idea. Yeah, if you can find enough people with curved legs We figure we can make ten thousand dollars the first year with no trouble at all Hmm, how much do you think you'll need to get this hip boot factory off the ground? About ten bucks Well, this is the way a bank operates we take the capital placed with us by our depositors and put it out in good interest bearing loans You'll have to pay interest on this loan. You know mr. Anderson. That's about six percent per annum. Oh I don't want any annums That means six percent a year dopey. Oh Well, that's okay. Do I get the loan? Well, wait a minute father Do you mean you're going to lend him the bank's money for that silly business? Well, that's the way banking operates, but you'll be lending him my money That's all right. It isn't either. All right. I'm not gonna let him buy old inner tubes with my money Now just a minute the loan is going to be secured By the way, mr. Anderson when a bank lends money this way it has to have some collateral. Oh Do you have any collateral to put up? I don't know. What is it? Collateral lane brain is something you put up to guarantee that you'll pay the money back What do you have in your company that you could put up? Well, all there is in the company is just me and Joe I could put Joe up Brother it isn't customary to put up one of the partners of a company is collateral for a loan We'll have to have something tangible. What's a tangible? What's a tangible? Father it seems to me this bank is catering to an extremely illiterate clientele Oh, he's learning princess. That's the whole purpose of this idea Now tangible collateral mr. Anderson is something of real value Joe's pretty valuable To his folks no, I I mean something like a camera or a bicycle. I Guess I could put up my bike. All right now. You just sign this piece of paper here This says that you agree to pay back the ten dollars plus interest and that the bank becomes the legal owner of the Bicycle until the loan is repaid. Okay Now are you getting the idea how a bank operates bud? Yeah But what happens if? Well, I mean in case I can't pay back the ten bucks then you lose the bicycle Yeah I have to take over that old beaten up bike of his for my ten dollars No princess the bank takes it over you can still draw out your money anytime you want it But how can I draw it out if you've loaned it to bud? Well until the bank liquidates the bicycle your deposit is secured and payable from other deposits What other deposits? Well, I'll get it Hello, oh hi, Janie Yeah Do they have to have it tonight? Gee, I'll try Maybe I can borrow it from father. Oh Don't let her do it dad make her put up some collateral tangible Yeah, well thanks for reminding me see you tonight Problems princess father. I need fifty dollars. It's for our glee club tripped Omaha next month And they have to have the cash in advance. Don't do it dad. You'll have to take over Omaha Well, you have twenty dollars in the bank that means you'd have to borrow another 30. That's pretty big loan I could pay it back out of my allowance. Where's the collateral? Look, you've done your banking get out of line Daddy, I want to cast a check get in lines for him. You'd better close the doors of the bank Your mother and I have to leave here in a couple of minutes I have to leave to father, but I have to pay Mrs. Lacey for my glee club tickets tonight All right, you need a loan of thirty dollars. I want to cash a check for my two dollars and a half Will you wait? I want to get my money before it's all gone Now just a minute Kathy, what do you have to put up as collateral, mr. Betty Anderson? Oh father business is business All right, I'll put up my record player that beat up old thing Don't lend my money on that dad mine either. You don't have any money left in the bank Hey, I do too my allowance. I still got 250 in the bank. I want to write a check dad now look You can't just draw your money out. You said we could yeah You said we could write checks any time as long as we had the money in the bank. Yes, but father I have to leave all right Sign the paper the bank becomes the legal owner of the record player until the loan is paid back get the records to Father tell him to stop it bud stop it Players no good without the records. Look, I'm running the bank boy. I want to get my money out Here's my check dad. Give me 250 cash. All right. All right Don't grab it out of my hands, please father I've signed all your stingy old papers a $30 loan and my $20 in cash Princess, I don't have $50 in cash. In fact, I don't have any cash left I'm sure glad I got my money out of this I'm not broke, but you've cleaned out all the cash I had with me. I'll give you a check princess On what bank? On the bank downtown. Oh Okay, you think you kids didn't trust me. All right, there you are princess. Thank you father Well, I'm ready dear. Are you I guess so but we'll pick you up over there when we come home angel Well, are you finished mr. Banker? Yes, I'm finished by everybody. I have to meet ready just a minute Where is that record player? Over a Janie's it is unless she loaned it to Marsha. Bye Dad, I'm going over to Joe's. I'll see you bond hold it. Yeah, where's the bank's bicycle? I think Fred Cleaver's got it. So now wait Something wrong dear Margaret. I've been swindled My own children. I take it the bank isn't doing too well. I can't understand it It was such a good idea How much capital do you have on hand? Capital on hand. Are you kidding? The bank is broken. I'm out $40 of my own money. I don't even have any collateral Well, it was a good try dear but possibly you're not cut out for the banking business I just can't figure out how they did it. It wasn't intentional. I know but they clean me out I haven't a nickel We can't even go out tonight. Yes, we can How may I ask I remembered what I wrote that check for it was for cash yesterday, and I still have $20 left Well, bless you shall we go mr. J. P. Morgan The Andersons will be back in just a moment Every weekday evening. You'll want to set your dial to this same NBC station for America's number one comedy family Fiber McGee and Molly and it all adds up to fun-filled listening Be sure to make it a regular habit to listen to the mirthquaking adventures of Fiber McGee and Molly every night and Keep up to the minute on the news of the world by tuning to Morgan Beatty as he reports the latest happenings from throughout the globe Also a five times a week feature on NBC is one man's family the intriguing adventures of mother-and-father Barber and their bewildering offspring listen to all of these programs every weekday evening on the NBC radio network Well due to circumstances beyond the control of the president the Anderson first national bank has raised the white flag and gone out of business And this evening a few days later Jim is still nursing a few lumps suffered in the big financial crash of Maple Street I don't mean to keep harping on it honey, but you'd think the kids would have understood what I was trying to do and Given me a little cooperation. Well, don't worry about it Let's just chalk it up as a noble experiment and let it go at that, but they got nothing out of it Absolutely nothing Maybe not but think how much you learned about trying to teach children Went right over their heads completely is that you bud? Yeah, it's me what in the world Do you have in that box? Well, here's Betty's record player. She wanted me to bring that home for well good and my bike's outside good for you But what's all the other junk in the box? Well, this is collateral Joe and I gave up the hip-boot business. We took the 10 bucks and started a bank Well, you see honey, like I said they learned a real lesson Join us again next week when we'll be back with father knows best starring Robert Young as Jim Anderson Father knows best is an NBC radio network production in cooperation with Cavalier Enterprises In our cast where Helen strome is Kathy Jean van der Pyl wrote a Williams and Ted Donaldson Father knows best based on characters created by Ed James is written by Paul West and Roswell, Roger Directed by Arthur Jacobson and transcribed in Hollywood. This is Bill Foreman speaking I play two for consequences with Ralph Edwards on the NBC radio network