 When you do the personal development work, when you understand the mechanics of a healthy happy relationship, you become a man. And I believe it's because the vast majority of human beings, as I said earlier, are struggling because they, all right, let's talk about how guys fall in love when a woman does this. Well, let's face it. Today it's getting really, really, really hard to fall in love with people. And what I mean to say, if you're single and looking for love and you're in midlife, which is after baby-making years and before retirement, it's becoming increasingly hard to meet people whom you're compatible with. And more importantly, people who are emotionally mature enough to be in a healthy happy relationship. In fact, most folks are suffering in the inside in some way, shape, or form of not feeling good enough, not feeling lovable, not feeling likable, which causes them to actually be dating today to fill the void inside of them. That whole inside of them. So what they're seeking oftentimes is connection and physical sex without that real understanding of what does it take to make a relationship work? And furthermore, what is a relationship all about? A relationship is about commitment. It's about agreeing that we're going to explore something for the long-term rather than the current dating process, which is short-term. In fact, many people these days, men and women alike are only capable of a casual relationship. And in many cases, these casual relationships are more like a situation ship or what I call a friends with benefits, but you just don't know about it. And what I mean to say, and I'm laughing, but sadly laughing, what I mean that you don't know about it is you guys are really just marginally, socially friends and you're having physical sex, but you're not really aware that that's all that the other person wants. And so this is one of the reasons why in my private coaching, I talk about the need for radical honesty. I talk about the need of genuine vulnerability, authenticity and transparency, because the reality is today, most people are flaky in the dating process. And this is true of men and women alike. Their communication is flaky. Their behavior is flaky. It's inconsistent that because of these devices now, it's ruined practically the, well, it's ruined in the sense that there's all this perceived choice. And it's true because of these devices, we have access to people that we wouldn't otherwise meet in our daily life. And yet it is causing so much information overload that human beings are becoming rather flaky. And what's worse, they're becoming very, they lack courtesy and they lack care. Let me repeat that they lack courtesy and they lack care about someone else's feelings. And by the way, I know ladies, you will scream at the top of your lungs saying, I get it, I get it, men are bad, men are bad, men are bad. Folks, I experienced the exact same thing that women experience. So this isn't a one-sided coin. This is true of men and women like. And I believe it's because the vast majority of human beings, as I said earlier, are struggling because they don't feel good about themselves. They don't love themselves and they don't like themselves because the reality is is most of us were wounded in our childhood or in our adult experiences. And these wounds have gone unhealed. Let me repeat that. The majority of the population is wounded on the inside, whether it's childhood wounds and traumas or adult traumas that have gone unhealed. And the vast majority of the population does little or no personal development work on a daily basis. And I mean a daily basis, I mean a daily basis. They could have a Deepak Chopra book sitting on their nightstand and you go, wow, they're so evolved. And yet it's never been opened. It's not highlighted and scratched and pages are all folded over like most of my books. And so I share this with you all. It's because we have to get real with what's happening out there. And there's this hyper focus on chemistry as being the indicator of relationship success without the recognition that it's important to share the same values, to have lifestyles that are blendable with one another. And as I said before, emotional maturity. In fact, I believe the vast majority of the population, a significant percentage of the population is actually rather dysfunctional, dysfunctional in their relationship skills, in their emotional maturity. This is why I continually recommend to my audience checking out the book, The Hoffman Process, The Hoffman Process. This is a deep dive into healing childhood wounds and traumas that cause negative patterns and limiting beliefs in one's life. And the minute you begin the exploration of personal development, let me tell you your life actually becomes even more chaotic because of awareness. And the beauty of awareness is that it's an opportunity. You get the choice now. Do you wanna be a victim or do you wanna be a victor? I'm gonna repeat that. Do you wanna be a victim or do you wanna be a victor? And sadly here in the United States, the majority of the population is sucking on the nipple of victim consciousness. It's always somebody else's fault. It's always the guy's fault why the relationships don't work out. It's always the woman's fault why relationships don't work out. You know, it's interesting. I was watching, I've been watching a show on show time called couples therapy, couples therapy. And these are real life couples therapies with hidden cameras. And then the beginning of season two, what's so fascinating is the therapist says most couples go to therapy thinking that the therapist must fix their partner. They're pointing the finger at their partners. Fix my partner, fix my partner, fix my partner without looking inward. I mean, that's the way human beings operate. So is it any wonder? It's a cluster fuck out there in the dating realm. And you know, it kind of cracks me up because I have many contemporaries who got married in their 30s, you know, and they spout all this, what's the word I'm looking for? They spout all this perception around dating when they have no fucking clue what it's like to go through alimony, child support, visitation, brides, family court, erectile dysfunction, elderly parents in assisted living to name a few. And I say this because if you haven't experienced what it's like to date in your 40s, 50s and 60s and you're giving advice in this area, you're coming at it from only half of the coin. You're looking at it from the vantage point of how you met your mate without any understanding of what it's like today. And it is a mess. It is a mess. Okay, so I just laid out no hope, right? And yet people falling in love most every day in some way, shape or form. And not everybody is gonna have a juicy, delicious, healthy, happy relationship. In fact, the vast majority of people are going to have dysfunctional relationships. And many people will settle on dysfunctional relationships because it's better to have something rather than nothing. I'm here to advocate. When you do the personal development work, when you understand the mechanics of a healthy, happy relationship, you become a magnetic attractor for people like yourself. This is why folks, whenever I say before the penis goes inside the vagina, you should be reading the book, Eight Dates by Doctors John and Julie Gottman because this is the mechanics to a healthy, happy relationship. This is the blueprint. This is the roadmap. This is the conversation you should be having if you want to explore something deeper. But Jonathan, I'm just told to sit back in my feminine energy and all the magic will work out by just being in my feminine. Ladies, that's not how it works. It's not about leaning back in your feminine energy. It's about leaning into your sovereignty, your self-worth, your self-esteem and being intentional in the process. This is why I can't stand masculine feminine rhetoric because it's a bunch of garbage setting us up for failure. It sets up relationships as a one up, one down type of thing. The man is here and the woman is here. And then you get frustrated the minute you assert any boundary because you gave your power away to a man. This is why I continually recommend the book if the Buddha dated, if the Buddha dated because this throws out the bullshit gender rhetoric that's setting up everyone, setting most people up for failure. Folks, I'm a big proponent that the dating process is a two lane street. Men and women equally making effort one another, equally investing in one another, ideally from a place of compassion and care for the other human being. And yet most humans operate from a selfish place. Women operate selfishly, men operate selfishly. And then the minute they operate selfishly they get labeled a narcissist. And now every video out there is all about narcissist, narcissist, narcissist and gaslighting and this thing and that thing. It's not narcissism. It's just called the, it's really just dysfunctionality. That's it. It's dysfunctionality. So how do we shift this? How do we shift this narrative? And I'll get to why men, what men fall in love with in a second. I invite everybody to fucking be radically honest on that very first phone call. Why the fuck should I date you? Give me a good reason why I should date you. Why are you worthy of my time? Why are you worthy of my time? Now I say this a little tongue in cheek. I don't mean it that crass or cavalierly, but at the same time, why should I consider investing any time with you? You know what? I think people, men and women should be spending time not proving themselves from the Chris Rock perspective of showing up as the ambassador of them best selves. I rather by showing up as our authentic self, our authentic self. So that's gonna tee us up for the conversation about where and how men fall in love. So if you watched my video this morning, it was a short about men love creativity. I talked about Elizabeth Gilbert, who wrote the book, E Pray Love. She also wrote a book called Big Magic. And in the book, Big Magic, she encourages everybody to explore their creative side because our creativity gets us out of our head and into our hearts, out of our head and into our hearts. And so this is where we're gonna lean in today is leaning into your heart of what makes you unique, what makes you special, what's your superpower, what makes you weird. And so I'm gonna share with you a little bit about my private coaching for a second because there's an exercise I work with my clients. It's called What's Your Weird? What's Your Weird? Now I wanna read you a poem really quickly. It's a short little quote, I should say. And in this quote, it says, we are all a little weird and life's a little weird. And when we find someone who's weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love. Can anyone guess who wrote that? I'll read it again and I will share, but can anyone guess who wrote that? And the best illustration of weird to me is the movie when Harry met Sally, when Harry met Sally. And Sally, but these are, this is a couple who met on a trip from I believe, Michigan to New York. And it was, they were graduated college and they couldn't stand each other at the end of this trip. And little by little over the years they began developing a friendship. And Sally was very unique, especially in the way she ordered food, in the way she ordered food. And this is my version of it, but she was very neurotic in the way she ordered food. And what made this so special was the two of them did have a fight. And at the end of the movie, at the end of the movie, Harry realizes he was in love with her and he rushes over to her and he says, I love it that it takes you an hour and a half to order a ham sandwich. I love it that you think 71 degrees is cold. I love it that you're the first person I think of when I wake up in the morning and the last person I think of when I go to bed. And when I realized I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, I rushed over here to tell you. He didn't fall in love with her good qualities. He fell in love with her unique qualities. So I wanna share a little story I mentioned before about a client of mine. And she went through my private coaching some years ago and one of the exercises I shared is the weird exercise. And she loved it so much that she called me out and said, can we take a break from coaching for one week? And by the way, she gave me permission to share this. And in that week, she created a book. And I wanna share it with everyone in this book. It's called Welcome to My Weird, the Peculiar Corks of Alexandra Watkins. And you can see that's a picture of her right there. Now she's a creative type. So coming back to creativity and what she did is she's a photographer as well. So she took all her photographs and wrote little captions about her, about herself in here that made her unique, peculiar, weird, different than everyone else. And she created this little coffee table book. In fact, that's my signed copy of it right there. Let me read you what she says. She goes, Jonathan, thank you for inspiring this book. You are an amazing dating coach and I am forever grateful for your guidance. There she is right there, Alexandra. While I'm sharing this with you is after doing our work together, literally a month later, she was fixed up on a blind date with someone. And on their third date, she gave him a copy of this book. Now Glenn, the man that we're talking about was a man who gave his kidney to a total stranger. He gave his kidney to, gave one kidney to a total stranger. I mean, a real mensch of a guy. And on their third date, he gave a copy of, I think third or fourth date, she gave him a copy of this book. And as he's thumbing through it, he goes, I'm in love with you. Now, he didn't mean it literally, but just that peculiarity, peculiarity, those, the uniqueness within her, also her creativity, is what actually helped bond him with her, which helped him bond him with her. And they eventually, they lived in San Francisco, they eventually got a place in San Diego. They moved down together about a year after meeting and they've been together ever since and I'll share this video with them. And I share the story because they illustrate, and Alexandra is a beautiful lady. I mean, she's gorgeous on the outside, but she is absolutely peculiar. And Glenn appreciates her uniqueness, her peculiarity, her weirdness. So I wanna read you that quote one more time and I'm gonna share the author with everyone real quick. We are all a little weird and life's a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love. This is Dr. Seuss. And I think it's a great illustration to recognize folks, the old pattern, old way of dating, is it working? What's gonna require, if you want to find a juicy, delicious, healthy, happy relationship, it starts by finding that juicy, delicious, happy relationship within yourself. This is why I continually recommend my book. What the heck is self-love anyway? What the heck is self-love anyway? It's a journey of personal development, self-help and spiritual work so you can heal on the inside so you can have a vaccination to emotional chaos. By the way, there's a link to all my recommended books in the description below. And why I say this is when we actually work on our shit, we actually open ourselves up for that beautiful, delicious relationship. And it's not gonna work. By the way, and your dating life is gonna even become progressively harder because you gotta sift through a lot of needles in the haystack. This is why radical honesty is meant to be done over the telephone. I literally want you to interrogate guys before the first date so you can actually see if you're a fit with one another. And again, I teach all these techniques in my private coaching. There's a link below to schedule a free discovery call with me because through this experience, through radical honesty, you're going to avoid, hopefully, the wrong guys and start teeing it up for the right guys. Because when you're with the right guy, just like Glenn and Alexandra, he's gonna appreciate those things about you that you might not even appreciate about yourself. So I invite you all to explore what your weirdness is. And before I wrap up today's content segment today, I'm gonna share with everyone a weird thing about me. I'll share a weird thing about me and I invite you to post a weird thing about yourself in the comments. So something weird about me is I can't stand condiments. I can't stand condiments. Ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise and relish are the grossest thing on the planet to me. I literally cannot have them on a table. When I go to like a coffee shop restaurant, I ask the waiter or waitress to please remove it because it grosses me out. I'm okay with high quality mustard. I mean, really, really high quality, kind of like it, but I can't stand the garden variety, something that comes out of a plastic thing. Oh, it grosses me out. I barely can walk down the aisle of a grocery store. So that's something unique and weird about me. We all have something unique and weird about us. So I invite you today to explore those parts of you that's both creative, unique, different, special and weird because that's, and most importantly, when we can honor our uniqueness within ourselves, maybe just maybe you can do the same for another human being. We are riddled with judgment here in the United States in particular. And it is through judgment and intolerance that's making this process even harder because the reality is, is we are all a little weird and life's a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them in mutual weirdness and we call it love. And that's how guys fall in love when you reveal that part of you that is unique. And that's my invitation for everyone. Are you in agreement with me? If you are, give me an amen. All right, folks, you know, this is going to be a great place to wrap up today, folks. I want to thank you all for your love, kindness, care. I want to thank this beautiful lady who gave me this Dory cup. Just keep swinging, just keep swimming. I really appreciate it. I hope you found value in this. If you did, please purchase a Super Sick or Super Chat before we wrap up. I'd love to collect more funds for the Connor Asley Scholarship Fund. And if this has been a value to me, to you, please share this with your friends. Please check out the links below to a discovery call, my podcast, my membership program, or follow me on Instagram as well. I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart. I want to wish you a super duper wonderful evening. I'm going to wrap up as I always do. First off, giving myself a big, gigantic job at the Marig of Self Love. I'm going to reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay. I'm going to ask you to turn to someone, a pet, a teddy bear pillow, and give Iter them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love. And let's face it, we can all use more love in our lives. I want to thank you so much.