 Okay so this is the Valentine's Day special. I hope I didn't overdress at all. I hope I did. So you know what? I got nothing to do. It's Valentine's Day. I'm not going out anywhere of course. So what do I do? I ask you guys, what are some of your worst date stories? And you come through very well. So thank you for that. I will share with you some of those later on. But first, I need to let you know some of the Christian pickup lines that I will definitely be using and ones that I will never use. So before we get into that, I just want to give a huge shout out to everyone on Patreon. Thank you that I can make serious content that is more thoughtful and that kind of thing. And also some fun content as well. So thank you to you guys on Patreon. Now on to the video. Okay, apologies for my facial expressions and tone of voice going into this. But look, I got to give it a good old college try. So I got to be authentic and do a good job at acting. This is acting. If you feel too uncomfortable, that's okay. Skip over this part to the bad dates. But I'm going to give it my best shot here. So these are some Christian pickup lines that I would use in an alternate universe. But you know, pretty good. Your name must be Malcolm Honey because I think you were something I was promised. I didn't know angels flew this low. Did you say your name was Esther? Oh, because I was just thinking you were chosen for such a time as this. But now some Christian pickup lines that I will never ever use. Did you say you need a prayer? Because I'm willing to lay hands on you. Oh my goodness. That's so creepy. God just told me to break my vow of singleness for you. I just want to give you a heads up. I put the stud into Bible study. Okay, those made me feel so icky. I had to shed my coat. I'm sorry. We're toning it down less formal for this portion of the video. Now it's on to worst date stories. Once again, I'm so sorry for what you had to witness before. And if you skip to this point in the video, welcome. You guys always come through on Instagram. So thank you for these stories. It is a blessing to have read them. And now you are blessed as well, my friends on Valentine's Day. So let's get into it. So this is somebody. A guy broke up with me on my birthday. Strike one. We hiked an hour back to the car in silence. Okay, I'm going to set this up. Okay. Okay, imagine this. You're going on. It's your birthday. You're going on a nice hike with your boyfriend. You're in the car. You're driving to this nice location. You're thinking, Oh, man, you know, I don't know what happens at scenic locations on your birthday. Lots of cool, you know, maybe he's going to propose or something like that. I don't know. And you get to the top and you're kind of like, Oh, man, you know, this could happen. And he's like, So Maria, I need to tell you something. I know we were going to take it slow with this whole relationship thing and all that. But you know, it's a perfect opportunity and perfect time and and all that kind of thing. And and I just can't help myself. So Marie, will you get away from me? No, seriously, like get away. Like I'm done. Like this relationship is over. The guy started making reptile noises in the middle of Starbucks. What's a reptile noise? Hey, future Isaac, make sure to put some reptile noises here. I think that'd be a funny bit. Okay, here's another one. Guy said, I love you on like third or second date. That was definitely a no for me. Yeah, that was a little hasty on my part, I guess I have to admit. Little encouragement for all you single people. I just want to let you know, I got so many, so many, so many messages on Instagram and replies to this prompt saying stuff like, y'all go on dates or like, never been on a date and all that kind of thing. So if you're feeling like you're behind in somewhere, you're like, man, all these people are in relationships, getting married. And I feel that way sometimes too. Just know there's a whole bunch of us that are losers as well. 90% of these replies were from women, by the way. So I don't know what it is with guys, maybe we go on bad dates or we create the bad date. We don't know it's a bad date. I don't know. But this is this another one first date with a guy who spent the whole evening telling me that he what he expected from his wife, a little much on the first date. Like I know some people have the style like they want to lay it all out there, but laying out like your beliefs and all that kind of thing is a little bit different than going, hey, I just want to give you a heads up if you're going to be my wife. I need cookies on Mondays, homemade brownies on Fridays. On Wednesdays I need homemade toaster strudel, the strawberry kind it's my favorite. My friend didn't realize it was a date date and invited two friends along so awkward. Y'all we got to be, we got to be clear. We got to be clear. You got to be 100% sure that they know that this is a date date because if you're setting up a get together or some kind of like friend thing, you're going to be very confused. So just call it a date. Like I don't, if you use the word date, like, hey, would you like to go on a date? If you're getting confused by what that is, that's your fault. But if you're saying, hey, would you like to hang out sometime, then that's a little confusing. You're like, what are we hanging out for? Like, let's just be clear here. Coming from a guy, this is advice from a guy who's never been on a date. And you're welcome. You're welcome. Oh, I love this one. Okay. Met a guy online and had had never heard his voice before. He came to pick me up and the moment I heard his voice, I wanted to go back inside. He was very nice but sounded like Kermit the frog. I feel so, he can't help that. He can't, guys, I'm just here defending the boys here. I'm just gonna, he can't control his voice. Let me just say it was a boring eight hour date. Most of the conversation about him. Eight hours? An eight hour date, guys? That is too long. I'm sorry. If I was in an eight hour date, it would be like an hour and a half in. And I'm like, I'm sorry, I gotta go. I gotta make my afternoon nap. Like, come on. I don't got time for an eight hour date. An eight hour date? Like what? Glad to be single. Oh man. This is so dumb. See ya.