 What the narcissist needs most from you. What the narcissist needs most from you to live a healthy life To keep them functioning There are many things that narcissists need from you. They might need money They might need sex They might need a place to stay They might need whatever conveniences you can provide to them But what the narcissist that needs most from you is for you to be their emotional tampon They need you to be their shoulder to cry on They need you to provide them with emotional support Like a baby They need you to soothe them They need to be constantly burped or fed They need you to calm their feelings They need you to relieve their pain They need you to regulate their emotions This is what the narcissist needs most from you Because narcissists are very sensitive people They are easily distressed They are easily offended and upset But they cannot deal with their own emotions They have the emotional development of a two-year-old child Which is why they will often throw temper tantrums They will get very angry. They will shout and scream because they're not emotionally developed They're not able to control their emotions Which is why they need someone to soothe them They need someone to carry their emotional baggage They lack the emotional strength to deal with it. They cannot be vulnerable Because they're very weak Being vulnerable takes strength and courage Which is something that narcissists don't possess When you are having a conversation with the narcissist You will notice that it quickly becomes a debate It quickly becomes an argument about a certain subject But it is not a formal argument that is based on logic or reasoning They're always using their emotions to argue Whatever they feel becomes the truth And they feel like you can't understand where they're coming from Because you're trying to use logic and reasoning Which means nothing to them All they're really concerned with is their emotions And they want you to regulate their emotions If you start speaking about what is right or true It may conflict with how they feel This is why the narcissist always has to be right They always have to be the bearers of truth They have to write the narrative They have to do all of the talking Because then they can use the conversation to manage their emotional state It's only when you start expressing your views That they then begin to lose control of their emotions Because they're using the conversation as a crutch They're using it to support their emotional instability Which is why they really have no interest in anything you have to say They will talk for hours without requiring any input from you They are completely self-absorbed They are preoccupied with their own feelings, interests and situation All they need from you is for you to listen to what they have to say They just needed to witness the illusion And validate their false self As long as you agree with everything they say There's no problems But even if you do become their proverbial doormat That's not really solving the problem They're just sweeping it under the rug And that rug is you And while they're sweeping all this stuff under the rug And walking all over you Eventually something is going to come up But it's not going to come from them It's going to come from you At some point you're not going to be able to take it anymore The dirt will be exposed But the narcissist is not going to look themselves And realize that this is the result of their actions They're not going to see it as though this is the result of things that they never took responsibility for Things that they never resolved At some point you become an emotional wreck You become more like the narcissist While they become more like you You become anxious and stressed You become paranoid and hyper-vigilant While they're more calm and relaxed It's like a personality swap Because they've dumped all of their baggage onto you They've managed to hold you responsible for all of their stuff And now you haven't even got the time or energy to take care of yourself So even if you do spend every waking moment soothing the narcissist Catering to their every need It's not going to make a difference You're just prolonging the inevitable Because at some point you're going to burn out It's going to ruin your health Because you cannot continue operating at that level For long periods of time It's going to have a detrimental effect on you But even if you do slow down The narcissist is not going to see it the same way They're self-absorbed and they lack empathy They do not share your experience They can't put themselves in your shoes All they see is someone who has given up Someone who is not doing what they expect them to do And it's just going to make the narcissist even worse It doesn't matter what you've done for them up until that point It doesn't make any difference Because in this moment they are dysregulated They cannot manage their emotional responses Because they need supply They need you to do things for them They need you to regulate their emotions They don't acknowledge your deteriorating condition Because they have this magical thinking that everything will work itself out Without them having to do anything But of course, they don't expect the same thing for themselves They expect you to fix things They expect you to solve their problems While you're just working on your own While you're just running yourself into the ground And if you do continue operating at that level Despite the effects that it is having on yourself You're just going to work yourself into an early grave And even then The narcissist is not going to see it as though they did anything to you They're just going to see it as though you were weak As though you lacked the power to perform physically demanding tasks They're never going to look at themselves And realize that they were the problem They're just going to move on And do the same thing to someone else Thank you for watching I hope this video resonates with you Please like Comment Share and subscribe If you would like to donate My PayPal link Is in the video description Coaching Inquiries You can email me at CoachingAtNarcSurvivor.co.uk Thank you for watching And I'll talk to you soon