 Do you often wonder why you feel broken, why others seem to easily enjoy the simpler things in life? If so, maybe you're experiencing signs of unresolved emotional trauma. In this video, we'll cover additional signs that were not included in Part 1. We hope to help you gain insight into some of your thoughts and behaviors and offer some steps you can take towards healing. 1. Conditional Love Sometimes, trauma can show itself as a need for perfection. You may think you're not good enough if you're not just perfect. For example, you may think, will my friends think I'm boring if I decide to stay at home this evening? Or will everyone think I'm a bad student if I don't get the highest scores? Worrying like this may be a sign you were once loved only conditionally, only if you were perfect. Were you praised only for being the best and berated for even the smallest mistakes? A 2019 research study found that childhood trauma and family dysfunction are associated with fear of showing imperfections. When those fears come, try to challenge them, allow yourself to make mistakes, and remind yourself that you are human, not a robot. Others are allowed to be imperfect, and so are you. 2. Boundaries Do you often bend and mold yourself to make others comfortable? This can mean sacrificing yourself for small things like letting others make decisions for you, or maybe letting them comment on things you're not comfortable with, like your looks or weight. This means you're not setting up healthy boundaries. This problem often goes far back into a difficult childhood. If you were abused or neglected, you may have learned to do everything for others out of fear of being abandoned. According to 2020 research, blurred boundaries are linked to unhealthy lifestyle and lower levels of happiness, so they shouldn't be taken lightly. How do you learn to set healthy boundaries? First, try to self-reflect. Sally Baker, a licensed therapist, says, Take some time to be a detective of your own psychology. What are the situations when you need boundaries the most? Next, learn how to communicate your boundaries. One way to do it is by practicing assertive communication. To get some more strategies, check out this older video of ours. 3. Conflict Another sign of emotional trauma could be running from conflict. Are you afraid of any type of confrontation? Whether it's standing up for yourself in front of somebody or telling a waiter that they got your order wrong. Instead, you always agree with everyone on anything. Nervously laugh or simply freeze, not knowing how to react. According to Healthline, conflict avoidance is a type of people-pleasing behavior that typically arises from a deep, rooted fear of upsetting others. Maybe you've been through some kind of traumatic situation, like an abusive family or an abusive relationship in which your abuser reacted angrily or unpredictably. To help yourself face your fear of confrontation, try to analyze it. Which problems does confrontation bring you? Where you thought that standing up for yourself is wrong or impolite? And after you understand your fear, practice by speaking up little by little in various situations. That way, you may gradually feel more and more comfortable with conflict. 4. Validation Do you feel like you need to constantly be reminded that you matter? Maybe you always keep asking your partner if they still love you, or you obsess over likes on social media. You feel like your achievements don't matter if someone doesn't recognize them, or that nobody likes you if they don't make it clear. According to Dr. Preeti Kochar, a counseling psychologist, this could mean at some point in your life you didn't get the emotional validation that you needed. You may have felt unhurt, isolated, or unsupported. So now, you lack sense of self-validation. A good way to start healing is to implement some habits into your daily life, such as positive affirmations or meditations. A 2011 study found that 8 weeks of mindfulness meditation could physically change your brain. Increasing gray matter in areas of the brain related to decision making, empathy, and emotional regulation. And if you struggle with self-worth, check out this uplifting video. 5. Avoidance Trauma can sometimes make you withdraw from your feelings completely. All you want to do is escape from your head and your emotions. According to a research article published in Journal of Abnormal Psychology, emotional avoidance is a common trauma response seen in people with PTSD. They might avoid talking about their trauma, deny their feelings, such as anger or sadness, and sometimes even turn to alcohol or other harmful behaviors to numb their pain. Does this sound a bit like you? If so, it could mean your trauma was too much for you to handle. If you're out of touch with your emotions, learning about them might help you accept them. Check out the description to find some great resources, like Emotion Wheel, Emotion Journals, Workbooks, Textbooks, and even a cute movie. 6. Isolation Finally, you may be suffering from emotional trauma. If you often find yourself withdrawing from others, you keep cancelling plans, making up excuses not to go hang out with friends, not answering your texts, or staying in your room all day. You may be afraid people don't understand you, or you're just having trouble connecting with others. Social withdrawal is associated with trauma, and it's also commonly seen in people with PTSD. A 2019 research study found that loneliness can be detrimental to our physical, emotional, behavioral, and mental health. That's why it's important to deal with this problem as soon as you recognize it's happening. You could try reaching out to friends and family, even if you don't feel like it at the moment. Well, especially in those moments. Make a list of people that you love and that are dear to you. Imagine how good it would feel to hang out with them again. Did you recognize some of these signs in yourself? Do you feel like you're ready to try and work on them? Feel free to comment your story if you feel like sharing, and send support to others who feel the same way.