 Hello everyone, welcome to another Narc Survival Live video. I tried to put this video out last night and the local time here in the Philippines as many of you may have seen. Unfortunately in my hotel, the Wi-Fi wasn't working. Even my own Wi-Fi on my phone wasn't working as well. And then I got in the car. I still couldn't get any signal there. So then I just gave up and now tomorrow I've come back. Ready to put out this message. Possibly one of the most important videos on this channel. Every survivor of a narcissist needs to see this right now. Because yes, this is a very important message. And you do need to hear it. When you treat someone like a king or a queen they're going to treat you like a peasant. When you treat someone like a celebrity they're going to treat you like a fan. And this goes for anyone in life, not just narcissists. I mean when you're constantly there for someone you're giving them everything that you are, everything that you have, you're serving them. As you're not expecting anything back from them in return in that exact moment maybe they're lying to you, they're future faking, they're giving you a false character. By doing that, you are already putting yourself in a position where you are about to lose because they're just going to see you as this object that exists to serve them. They're not going to see you as anything more than that. And yet you may see it as a relationship, like you have this connection, something that you're trying to build together. But they are not seeing it in that way at all. Narcissists do not think that way, neither do toxic people or anyone who is self-absorbed. The way that they're looking at it is what can I get out of this person in this moment and once I get what I want, that I'm on to the next and I'm not going to think anything of them. Because all I care about is myself. I don't care about anyone else. It's how they think. And this is something that you really need to be aware of from the very beginning. Instead of just holding it off and hoping for the best. Because things rarely work out in that way. A lot of people in this world, when you put yourself out to them and you give them everything that you've got, they're just going to take it and run off to the next situation. And they're not going to think nothing of you. They're not going to think that they've got to reciprocate back to you for your time, energy, effort, money or resources. So what I'm saying is that you need to hold back. You need to stop giving so much of yourself so soon. Because by doing that you're putting yourself in a position where you are bound to fail. You're giving things of value to people who cannot reciprocate that back to you. And yet they're giving you this illusion, they're making you believe that maybe they can. And anyone can do that. Whether it's with their words or some false display. Anyone can make you believe something. But what about when they're actually going to go out and do it? Yes. This is what gets you caught up in this mess. Because it's like you're entering this relationship, this agreement, this contract and you're fully able to provide to them the things that they want to need. But what about them? What can they do for you? What can they do for you? And many of you, your empaths, your co-dependents, people-pleasers you're not even thinking about that. All you're thinking about is yes, I'm capable, I have potential. I can give them whatever they want if only they would let me. And you're not even thinking about what it is that they actually have to give to you. You're not even thinking about that at all. You were thinking about that. Instead of just holding it off and relying on their lies and future faking then you probably would have walked away at the very beginning. That's probably what you would have done. But you didn't do that and why didn't you do that? The reason why is because you were mainly focused on what you could give to them. You learned this dynamic from childhood. It's all about what you can do for another person. Maybe in your childhood it was for your parents. You were always trying to please them, you were always trying to achieve. You were always trying to do whatever you could to make them happy. At the expense of your own health and well-being. At the expense of your own feelings and needs. 101 live viewers and only one thumbs up. Please show your support down below. Hit that thumbs up button. It will take you two seconds. And it will help to get this message out there to other survivors. There's something you need to understand about people. As I've said in past videos, statistics show only 1-2% of the world's population are empaths. And that means people who have the ability to feel what you feel. People who can share and understand your feelings and experience. Other than that, most people in this world are just going to view you as a mirror. And if you look back at your past interactions, I'm sure you will notice that. You will notice that they portray themselves in a certain way to you. And they do certain actions and behaviors. So that they get this mirror reflection back from you. Of how they want to see or feel about themselves. And other than that, you are just an object, a tool and appliance. You have no value other than that. And I know it's a difficult thing to accept. But this is the reality of the situation. The reality is that yes, you are just a mirror to most people. They can't even connect to you. And I know that may be a difficult thing to cure or understand. But I'm sure if you look back at your past interactions, you will realize that. You will see it. It's very rare that you come across a person in this world who does something out of the goodness of their own heart without expecting anything back in return. Yeah, it's very rare that you find someone like that. Of course, that doesn't mean that there's no one like that out there. There is. But it's very rare. It's like a needle in a haystack. And what gets us caught up in this mess for a lot of us? What gets us caught up in this? It's the fact that we look at the other person as though we're dealing with an actual human being who actually cares about us and has our best interests in mind. Yeah, that's how we look at it. We see it like that as though they actually care about us. As though they're actually connected to us. As though they actually feel what we feel. If that was actually the case, if that was actually the truth, then we wouldn't be in this predicament. It never would have got to this point. We wouldn't have been used and exploited for everything that we are, everything that we've got that never would have happened. But it did. Because we were dealing with people who lacked empathy, people who could not feel what we feel. If that was not true, then we would have been okay. We wouldn't have been used, we wouldn't have been exploited. So what am I saying here in this video? What is the point that I am trying to get across? I guess what I'm trying to say is that many of us are too trustful. And the reason why I guess is probably because in our childhood, we were always to blame. No one else took accountability. No one else stood up and said that they're going to correct the situation. So we're constantly looking at ourselves. And we're never too cautious, we're over trustful. We're never hyper-vigilant. And yet it's like people are very hyper-vigilant around us. They're always suspected that we're thinking to do something to them to manipulate or exploit them. And that is why we're running endlessly on a hamster wheel trying to please them. We're always doing more and more. Sometimes you just got to stop and look back and realise that you were the one who was doing all of the work. You were the one who was putting in all of that effort. You did everything for this narcissist. And I know myself and I look back in my situations in the past. I was doing all of the work in my job as a life coach and as a CEO. And not only that, I was taking care of my daughter who was one years old at the time even while I was doing the work. I was going to the supermarket to get food every other day. I was doing the laundry, washing the dishes, sometimes even doing the cooking and cleaning up. Yes, I was doing all of that. I was doing everything and despite that in the end I was still blamed. I was still looked at as though I was the one who was at fault. And in the end the narcissist still had this grandiose sense of entitlement. As though I was the one who owed them. I don't know many of you who are watching this, listening to this right now. I'm sure you'll be able to relate. I'm sure you will understand exactly what I am saying. Because I'm sure you've been through that yourself. I'm sure you know exactly what it's like. And if you do, I am very sorry for that. Because no one deserves to go through that. It isn't right. It isn't fair. After all of the work that you put in, everything you did to try to make them happy. But no matter what you did it was never enough. And despite everything you gave, everything you lost. Everything they took from you, everything they took for granted. Despite all of that in the end you still felt like you needed to do more. Sometimes we project these good qualities about ourselves on to other people. And we hold them up as someone who is so great. So angelic. So innocent. So perfect. Yes we hold them up to be in that. Because we project these qualities about ourselves on to them. And they see that and they reflect those qualities back to us. As though that's actually who they are. When they haven't even done the work. They haven't even done anything to be that. It's just like one day they wake up and it's like yeah I'm right on that right now. That's exactly how they think. Like they can just be whatever they want, whenever they want to be it. All they have to do is step in the character and be that. Without actually doing anything. And this is how we end up getting exploited. This is how we end up getting tricked. And why? Why does that happen to us? What you need to realise is it's because you have a lot of value. I hate to refer to it but it's kind of like that Disney movie Cinderella. That's kind of like who you are in this situation. Even if you are a man. Because that's how you're being treated, you're being kept down. You deserve so much more than what you get. You're giving out so much value but you're getting back very little in return. Because for a long time you've been gaslighted. You've been led to believe certain things about yourself that aren't true. You've been minimised, you've been kept down. And I can tell you right now those are the wrong people to be around. You want to be around people who help you to realise your worth. People who validate you. People who remind you of what you deserve. Rather than people who make you doubt yourself. And make you believe that you're not as great as you actually are. But yeah that's exactly what those types of people will do to you. But this is just how it goes a lot of times. Just like I said. Most of you were not dealing with someone who actually saw you as a real person. You're more just like their little toy, their little play thing. Their little doll. An object. Sometimes not even that. Just a mirror to reflect back to them. How they want to see or feel about themselves. Yes that's all that it was. I don't know sometimes it can be difficult to accept that. Because we want to believe that it was something more. We hold on to this fantasy, this ideal love. Because yes that may be what you want. But that is not what you're going to get. You might get that from someone else. But you're not going to get that from them. That is never going to happen. They are never going to be that for you. They are always going to be the same. And by this point you should realise that. Because you've only got to look back at how they've been treating you this entire time. How long has this been going on for? How many months or years? How much progress have they made? And are you willing to wait around for that amount of time again to see the same amount of progress? Are you willing to wait around that long? Because I know I'm not. I know I'm not willing to wait around anymore. And some people may look at us and think what a jerk. What an asshole. But to be honest at this point I don't really care. Because it's like how many more times you have to be hurt and betrayed. How many more chances do you have to give? That's what I'm saying. You need to become less trustful. You need to stop giving in. And instead trust your intuition. Because when they manipulate and gas like you that's what they do. They get you to doubt your intuition. And you can't be doubting yourself anymore. You can't be doing that. Instead of doing them you need to be doing you. Because for so long and as they wanted of course your attention, your focus, your gaze was always on them. You were constantly watching what they were doing. Where they were going, who they were with or trying to figure out what they were about to do. Whether it was with someone else or with you. Yes you were constantly worried about that. At the expense of worrying about yourself. And I can tell you that at this point in my life I'm a 35 year old man. I've got a lot of experience. At this point in my life I can tell you no one is going to care about you as much as you care about yourself. So in many ways because remember there is a spectrum. You've got codependency on one end and then on the other end you've got narcissism. Many of you are on the far end of codependency. You need to move more in the middle. So in many ways you need to take a leaf out of the narcissist's book. You need to become more narcissistic. Yes that would be much better for you. Because up until this point you have been used and manipulated and exploited. And that's because you were too given to trusting especially to the wrong people. And that is why you need to stop doing that. You need to start giving and trusting in yourself. And when you do that you will begin to feel a lot better. You will notice a positive change in yourself and your life. That's what you've got to do. You need to pull back in a lot of interactions until you find someone who can reciprocate what you're giving out. And not something where you have to wait around or believe in some stupid illusion where you have to fall for this future faking and wait for a few years. That's not what I'm talking about. What I'm talking about is someone that you need to be with. That is the type of person that you can believe in and trust. Because here's the thing and this is a very important point that I am about to make in this video. If someone has something to lose and they have something to invest they're investing something in you. That type of person is not going to play around. They're not going to make a fool out of you. Because by doing that they could lose something as well. And if they do have something they're not going to invest it into you if they do plan on doing that. So if you're with someone and they are investing something of value into you of significant value that suggests that maybe you can trust them. That suggests that you may have found something that is very rare. Quite possibly something that you may not find again. So in that type of situation you may want to give a bit more of yourself. You may not want to hold back too much because otherwise they're going to be thinking that you're the narcissist. They're going to be thinking that something is wrong with you if they're already giving to you and you're holding back. But narcissist nope they can't do any of that and they will never never do any of that. But we will we will continue to strive forward. But not in an arrogant way. And so we just don't care about anyone. We just give it up on ourselves and our lives. We don't do that. Instead what we will do is we will strive forward with everything that we are and everything that we have this value that we hold within ourselves and we will continue on our path until we find others of like kind. But until that time we will continue to become the best versions of ourselves. We will continue to live our best lives until we find someone else who is able to reciprocate what we're giving out because that's just how it works with that valuable with that special with that important we want to be able to maintain everything that we are so that we can continue to provide this value for many years to come. But of course we can't do that unless we have someone who's going to be there to help to sustain it instead of just breaking it down and trying to destroy it because that's not going to be good for anyone what are people going to do when it's gone and that is why someone needs to be there to sustain us but until that time you must learn to sustain ourselves 213 live viewers please hit that thumbs up button down below to show your support it will take you two seconds to help to get this message out there to other survivors as well but yeah as you can see I'm just out here at this park spitting the truth giving you game giving you the information that you need to know so that you are better able to protect yourself you know what I'm really tired of is seeing people getting used, abused and exploited because that seems to happen so many times in this world so many times you see people with so much value so much love in their hearts so much light and what happens to them where does it all go you know that's really one thing I do not like what I do like is when there's an equal exchange of value when there's reciprocation when someone may be giving something out but they're getting something back and return as well yeah I like that and why do I like that well the reason why is because you've got to think in narcissistic relationships it's just one person giving everything what happens when it's all gone what happens then if it's two people who are exchanging an equal amount of value back to each other where they're both able to grow then by doing that they are better able to produce for and provide to this society that we live in so that we can grow as a whole and of course that's bound to be good for everyone and that's why I support that that's why I'm so against any form of exploitation I don't like the idea of people being used if you're giving something of value as well then that's fair enough but in many situations it's not like that at all and that's the problem with a lot of us we're too over trusting we believe too much in other people and we don't believe enough in ourselves we need to start to believe more in ourselves we need to value more what we have and then by doing that we will begin to expect more from other people what I'm really saying is that we need to raise our standards because all of these people that you've dealt with in the past all of these people who manipulated and exploited you your standards were too low you deserve so much more than that but we've been raised in a way where it's like we're just willing to accept whatever someone is willing to give to us without realising just how great we actually are and that's a problem a lot of times because of course the more people that we encounter like that we're just going to end up becoming more and more depleted and then maybe finally when the right person comes along then we've got nothing to give to them and then we are the ones who need their help and I'm sure most of you if you're like me you don't want to be in a position like that you treat someone like a king or a queen they will treat you like a fan like a peasant you treat someone like a celebrity they will treat you like a fan and that's just how it goes a lot of times that's just how it is a lot of people they just view other people as objects that exist to be their needs they view us as mirrors to reflect back to them how they want to see and feel about themselves they're not even thinking about you they're not even looking at you connecting to you it's just all about them and I'm sure none of you wanted to end up in a situation like that that was never what you wanted you wanted to be loved you wanted to be appreciated and you wanted to be with someone who was able to receive your love as well someone who is also empathetic someone who could love the way that you love just take a moment close your eyes imagine this right now imagine someone who could love the way that you loved the narcissist someone who could care about you and the way that you cared about them someone who could give you even a fraction of what you gave to them just imagine a match that would change your life and then you will realise just how valuable you really are just take a moment close your eyes and imagine that and then you will realise just what you were given to them just imagine someone there who cares about you the way that you cared about them someone who listens to you like all of those times you listen to them then you may begin to realise why they were so hooked on you so addicted so obsessed maybe then you will realise why if you just joined hit that thumbs up button down below let's get this message out there to other survivors as well who may need to see it sometimes I just got to get on here and just spit this truth I got to put this shit out there so that other people will finally realise it and understand it other people will finally get it and then they will stop making the same mistake again and again because of course I know in myself I've done that so many times I've done that so many times so many times I've given the best of myself to someone and I did even get a fraction of that back in return so many times I was depleted of my love, my energy everything that I am I ended up hurt broken and confused in the process and of course yes that is very sad and I feel for you those of you who have been through that I know what it's like and I wouldn't wish that on anyone what I would wish is the best for you in your future and in your relationships I thought you do find someone who loves and appreciates you just as much as you love and appreciate them yes that is what I wish for you and although I will admit that a person like that is like a needle in a haystack there is a chance that you could find that for real if you just stop giving yourself to the wrong people people who lie, they future fake they manipulate, they exploit notice the red flags early on before you get too deep into it yes that is what we have to do and I hope that this message has brought you comfort I hope it has helped you to realise the truth about what you went through yes everything you went through with the narcissist I hope it brings you some closure I hope it helps you to realise the worth in yourself and if this message was helpful for you you can show your support by giving it a thumbs up down below I would really appreciate that as it will help to get this message out there to other people who may need to see it as well and also let me know your thoughts in the comment section I read your comments every day I'd love to hear from you hit subscribe and click all notifications so that you will be notified when I upload a new video and also if you'd like to donate you can donate through the super chat or the super thanks in the comment section and you can also go to my paypal it is paypal.me.narchsurvivor and if you'd like to book a one on coaching session with me you can go to my website it is narchsurvivor.co.uk and you can also follow me on Instagram it is narchsurvivor youtube I have new pictures and videos of my travels which I upload to my stories every day on there and you can also DM me and I will respond I'd just like to thank you all for joining me on another one, my youtube family I do appreciate you all and as always I look forward to speaking with you in another narchsurvivor live video very soon