 Whereas if you'd just come over and plonked yourself down and said hello to me Hey, man. How are you? Then you would have been out actually chilling to the set and to figure out what the dynamic was where I was adding the Conversation with it then I could have introduced you and I could have moved it around and could it would have rolled fine yeah, so Being able to go up to a girl Throw something out there and expect that when two strangers meet often it's it's strange Yeah, it's a little bit awkward and particularly in somewhere like London where people have their guard up You know, I've noticed that in going and chatting to girls that they're certainly not as receptive as say they are in Sweden Or in Australia But that's not that's that's just a minor cultural difference That's just them responding to the stimulus of a massive impersonal city at the heart of it They're still women they still like men They still want to meet new and interesting and sexy men And you just need to allow for the slight variations in the way that they're going to respond so What I'll do is I'll just throw out a couple of words And then I shut the fuck up and see how she responds because sometimes when you go up and I say something like that Oh, they left you to clean up They may have just opened immediately. Oh, yeah, no blah blah blah, you know We're always the ones left behind In which case I would have been able to adjust to the energy of the situation and bring it up to where it was But instead if I'd gone in with some long convoluted Opener about horses and puking on girls and stuff like that Firstly they don't hear half of it because they're just still reeling from the fact that strangers come up to them and Secondly, I'm not actually taking an opportunity to gauge where they're at what energy they're at Where what their mindset is at that time how open they are and receptive they are to be being talked to So instead I wait and I see the girl go like this Okay Now get used to this Actually, I actually much prefer dealing with a girl who's who throws attitude at me straight away Then I do dealing with a really pleasant nice girl because if someone who's really really friendly to everybody There's not much to lean against there's not not so much you can create tension off Whereas a girl who gives a little bit of attitude. I enjoy that So in that situation she went like this and I said, oh, this doesn't happen often does it? And again, I just wait and I am deliberately ambiguous with what I'm saying because I want her to question me and to come out of a shell If there's if there's awkwardness between two people my definition of awkwardness is two people pretending something's not awkward Yeah, you know, you've been a situation say you're you've gone to a party You both you know the host, but you don't know anyone else you go up and say hey man Hey, go on and he's like, hey, yeah. Hey, this is my friend and then he leaves you with some other dude And you like standing like hey, so man, how do you know the host? Yep? Cool, and um And what do you do? Yeah, all right, you're in a field that I know nothing about and cannot not at all about yeah, awesome and both of you are dying inside and You know trying to be print friendly and polite and feeling this negative tension because there are different types of tension The easiest way to get over that in any social situations is to call it out Yeah, things getting a little bit awkward just say is it getting awkward in here? Is it just me? Because immediately what that does is it releases the tension Because then we don't have to play the game anymore There's no more expectation of us pretending to be something we're not or pretending to enjoy a situation that we don't like or whatever else It is Yeah, so that's one thing you can you can do if you go up to a girl and it is awkward That's totally fine because when strangers meet there is this there is often a period of cloudy kind of awkwardness Which if you sit in it and allow it to be what it is or you just call it out It'll dissipate and then you can move on to being relaxed and normal What I want to talk to you guys primarily today about is is three aspects that I that I coach guys on Three huge that they're massive areas and I run a 12 week 80 hour course on this I can't go through all of it obviously, but I want to touch on each of these areas Because if you only learn and they are okay, so the nuts and bolts of seduction and in my case what I'm teaching is natural style seduction internal change Which includes confidence charisma state control mindset beliefs whole range of things and then lifestyle design Which is your ability to and this includes your career your health the way that you dress The interests that you have the people you have around you and your mission in life is the primary thing Because if you don't focus on all of these three things you'll be very lopsided human being if you only focus on seduction And I know this because I did this I reached point where I had an incredibly interesting life You know I was a musician. I was a martial artist. I was a massage therapist I had a whole range of friends in all sorts of social areas because I'd spent most of my time building my lifestyle and When I got into seduction I got into a fucking hardcore and I was with three other guys who were all very very good naturals and we trained each other and That's all we did, you know for money all I did was I massaged like one or two people a day we used to seduce rich girls so that we could eat and That's pretty much all we did and What I found was that after about a year of this I was I was dating a girl Who I'd been seeing in a in an open relationship for about a year It was a fucking really cool girl and she came to me one day and she said Jamie you're dumped I said, but we're in an open relationship. You can't really dump me. Can you and she said well, whatever it is we're not having sex anymore and I always like to interview people like if I get blown out from a set I'll go back to the girl and say Before I before I leave your life forever I was wondering if you just might be able to give me a little bit of honest feedback and please make sure it's honest I don't I won't be offended. Just tell me what what made you what what repulsed you and This is this can be a really cool thing to do is if you guys go into a set and doesn't work just go back and Ask her to give you some feedback Often they won't they'll just say I don't know. I'm weird But if you reach but if you meet a switched on on a skull she'll just tell you Yeah, when you came up to me You stood way too close and you smell a bit funny and you asked me a weird question about a horse I didn't like any of that and I'm like all right. Take note So same thing when you're in this situation. I was being I was being dumped and I was like, all right. Well that that stings Do you want to tell me why she's like? Yeah, of course when I met you you're incredibly interesting person You were focusing on spiritual development as well as being you know into music and travel and all this interesting stuff and You know I she was she was working with us in the company. She she had no issue with it She said, you know, I support what you guys do. I think it's really interesting I think guys need to learn this stuff, but all you guys do every day all day is think talk and do game and it's just fucking boring and That's why I'm done here because you become boring and That's the only thing that ever hurts me like That's that's a real insult to me. I don't mean mind being called a fucking cunt If it's appropriate, but I do mind being called boring And so I took that on board because it was really important because I had focused all my energy For a long period of time on seduction and I got very very good at it And I could get very consistent results But I'd done it to the detriment of my lifestyle and to my health and of keeping my friendships with people and my My family life and all that stuff as well There was another point in my life where I was very deeply into spirituality into self-development Building myself up from the core and I remember I used to have a job as a bouncer at a bar And I love that job because I got to stand there and meditate all day I would sometimes accidentally let 12-year-olds into the bar because I wasn't focusing on the other part of the job Which is stopping young people going into the bar During that time I didn't really have a social life so much. I was quite austere and stoic person and I was very at ease with myself. I was very comfortable. I was very confident, but I wasn't putting myself out there Yeah, so just working on that is not gonna Is not gonna fix everything yet either there was also another time in my life where I was primarily a musician and Being a musician, even if you're playing like jazz flute Is a good way to meet girls for sure. There's a reason why skinny guys start bands. There's nothing to do with music and So there was a time where the only way that I met girls was like getting up playing a gig and then when a girl went like this to Me I'd walk over and go. Hi. Did you like my gig and then she might kiss me and that was kind of my game And I reached a point where I realized that I was scared shitless of ever losing that like if I didn't have a band What would I be? Yeah, if I didn't have an unknown Australian band that was never gonna get famous. Who would I be and So just engineering engineering a lifestyle just to get girls was also not the thing that was gonna make me feel at ease overall When you combine these three aspects and you're working on them at Even levels then your results go through the roof and There is something to be said for a different period you need to become Reasonably obsessed about something. Okay, there's gonna be points in life when you guys are if you're studying You have to buckle down and study and your social life may suffer for a while There will be times where as you guys are now focusing over these last four four days You put everything else aside and come here and gone All right. I really want to get this area of my life sorted I've come to source the the experts in the field. We'll just you know, drop everything else and we'll wear the same underpants for four days and Deal with the washing on Monday That's what I'm doing Dear pity the girl I'm going on a date with tonight. Oh, I laughed at my own joke. See not funny anymore Bad. Hey She'll love it. She will learn to like it Okay So what I want to do is I want to give you guys some some Concepts as well as some very practical tools On each of these areas that we can go through so they're things that you can think about because I think it's really important to look at All of this stuff from a macro and a micro level at once If we get two into our head and two into the like a existential esoteric meaning of it all then it becomes just sort of Pontification but you do need to look at the bigger picture And asking yourself questions like why the fuck are you doing this? And what is the outcome that you are really after and is it your outcome or is it an outcome that somebody has sold to you? Is really important to do and it's important to check in on that at various points along the way because what you actually want It's going to change over time When you first get in this I know when I first got in it. It was kind of to get revenge against the cool chicks at school Yeah, if I'm honest with myself, that was really why I was doing it Because they made my life miserable the cool guys got the chicks. Fuck you. I'm gonna Fuck you as all and then I'll feel good about myself Which is it was not a great motivation, but at that was my motivation to start with and over time that shifted to okay I want to push my limits. I want to understand myself as a man. I want to engage with more interesting beautiful challenging women and Then that kept on shifting so I encourage you guys to to step back fairly regularly and look at what is the big picture of This are you still on track heading towards your actual goals at the same time as we have the same time We need to look down at the micro level to the actual practicalities of how to do this