 the power of Plan B. And that- I'm not using Plan B until we can have a conversation. I use Plan B. You don't notice I use Plan B with her all the time now. Yeah, does it work? Yeah. You don't think so? This video is sponsored by Squarespace. Branding, marketing, e-commerce, made simple and stunning. Go to Squarespace to have your website, your email marketing campaign, your online store, your members only community and get amazing plug and play templates with the perfect fonts and mature colors. Allow yourself to be presented in the way that you truly feel on the inside about the creative work that you are doing out there in the world. I use Squarespace for all of my marketing, e-commerce and analytical needs. All you have to do to join me is go to Squarespace.com slash Shan Booty. Go try it for free for two weeks. No credit card required. Take a look around the back end, see if you like it. And if you are loving what Squarespace is putting down, pick up 10% off the purchase of a website or a domain at Squarespace.com slash Shan Booty. All right, Rae. You gonna be a big girl? Use a nice big girl cup. Rae. Let's see you be a big girl. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. What was that? Are you ready? One take. Yeah, I'm ready. No edits. Let's do it. Hi, Jared Brady. What's going on, Shan Booty? Thank you for having, no, thank you for being here. So I originally recorded this video by myself. Yeah. You only have the mantra, save the drama for your mama. I was like, save the drama for your therapist. I can no longer be that good and patient parent for you. I have to stop this behavior. And down the line, you are definitely getting to hire a therapist and tell them that your mom didn't allow you to express your emotions. Your mom didn't allow you to cry. And I would have a conversation with a therapist and say, yeah, because it was just too overwhelming. It just became the narrative in our household. It became the thing that we had to organize our whole day around, like this, this moodiness. And that's not okay. Yeah, I don't, I want my daughter to save the drama for her mama, you know? I like want that. I want her to feel like at the end of a really hard day, like I'm the person she can come home to and find her peace and I'll understand. And afterwards, I just kind of felt like it was something that would better her both of us. I really appreciate your time to sit and chat with me. I actually know what you feel, but I don't quite know how you feel. So I'm interested to hear as well. But first and foremost, the reason why I thought it was important to make this video, period, is for any parent who has a child like Ryu who I would describe as not very flexible, not very adaptable, and very easily frustrated. Yeah, strong-minded, strong-willed. Yes. Once she has her eyes set on something, memory strong. Yeah, and fixing, and not fixing, maneuvering her to something else is a problem. So nose caused tantrums, any type of thing that she has to do she doesn't want to do causes tantrums. And unlike, I think a lot of other kids, she doesn't take to routine as a result of that. Like bedtime is always a surprise. Food is always a surprise. Brushing your hair, brushing your teeth, anything that she does every single day, every time it's as if it's the first time she's ever had to do this terrible thing before. Yeah, yeah, yeah. As soon as you lead her to go in to brush her hair or brush her teeth, it's like, what? Yeah. Why am I having to do this? You want me to eat? What? Yeah, so she's strong-willed. She doesn't like to do things she doesn't want to do. And I think as a parent, it can cause a lot of social embarrassment. It can cause a lot of questioning about your own parenting. And what really stood out to me is I did, I listened to a podcast a couple of weeks ago and the host was saying, there's two kinds of parents. There's parents who enjoy the phase that their kid is at and there's parents who are always waiting for their kid to grow into the next phase. And then he said, I always find I don't really enjoy hanging out with the parents who are waiting for their kid to grow up. And that kind of pissed me off because I was like, maybe you have a couple of Ziya's at home. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like that pissed me off because I felt like when you have a kid where everything is a struggle, we've always wanted her just to keep growing. Cause when she was a baby, we're like, when she stops teething, when she starts crawling, when she starts walking, and now we're in terrible twos and I'm like, when she grows out of this. And as much as that pissed me off, it was also a wake up call for me to be like, I think we have to re approach or reimagine our parenting dynamic and so that we can actually enjoy her at the age she's at. Yeah. I mean, for me, it's like, I don't think it's a bad thing to be waiting for the next phase. That guy didn't piss me off. It's like, yeah, that's your opinion. That's cool. But for me, I understood like when she was a baby, she was really frustrated because she wanted to go and move and touch the things that she wanted to touch. As soon as she was able to crawl as soon as she was able to walk, her mood improved. And so for me, I'm looking at it like, yes, right now it's hard to talk to her. It's hard to reason to her. It's hard to get her to understand why brushing your hair, why brushing your teeth is good for you. And so I already know once she gets to the level of being able to understand, then there's able, I think there's wiggle room for more enjoyment. Yeah, but then I guess then you just keep waiting for them to be somebody different rather than finding ways to work with who they are at the present moment. And I think that that was, it pissed me off, but it pissed me off in a good way. Because sometimes when you get mad, you have to really assess like, what about this is bothering me? And what was truly bothering me is that I don't have the capacity to truly enjoy my kid right now. And that hurt. Because the truth is there was, especially I think in the past, two weeks, things have gotten a lot better. But two weeks ago, it was just like, it's hanging out with her was draining. Yeah, yeah, it still is. It still is. It still is a lot of emotion and a lot of drive out of you because you have to do everything exactly the way she wants it or you're gonna get pushed back. And so it is draining. But I thought that was just parenting. I thought it was just like what it is. Like this is just, this is just a shitty time. Like every parent that I've talked to who had two year old, one year old, it's great. That's not to take away great times. But at the end of the day, there's a reason why certain friends come over for an hour. They did. Because she is alive. I think that's the gift that having two has given us though. Two has given me hindsight to be like, it doesn't have to be like this for everybody. Because Ryu is a particular way and Ziya is extremely different. And then I was saying this to you which I really want to second this is that we have what you might call a good baby and a challenging baby. But good is only in context of the environment that we're trying to raise them in. In the wild, I think Ryu would be an incredible baby. She'd be the perfect dream kid. And Ziya might be too timid, not aggressive enough. She might get forgotten a lot because she's not very vocal. But in this North American, Westernized world, Ziya is quiet. She is easy to get along with. She's easily flexible. She's not very frustrated. She chooses happy. She chooses happy. So in this environment, she's a good baby. Not that there's a good and a bad just in this particular way that we live. Yet the world isn't best suited for Ryu's personality. Right. And that's the one thing that I used to always say about Ryu. Like even when she was younger than she is now, she is, those characteristics in her are tough right now as a kid. But when she becomes an adult, if it's shaped the right way, those things are gonna take her to have an enjoyable, long, amazing, frugal life. So I'm always just kind of like, yeah, this is just like the bear that we have to carry with having a really successful, awesome, aggressive, opinionated of someone who pushes the world forward, kid. I love that you said, too, if it's shaped the right way because that's also something I want to talk about, too. Some of the things that I have found that have worked, and especially in light of that book that I just read, The Explosive Child, which you were like, why are you reading that book? She's not at that age yet. Yeah, no. But I think everybody, the book was really talking about seven year olds and people who are past the two and three phase, but a lot of the parents who were talking in that book reflected and had very similar experiences to us when their kids were babies. So that to be said, I think if we don't get on top of it now, and don't get me wrong, it doesn't mean that she won't naturally grow out of it. I just know that I definitely want to enjoy parenting and being around my kid a lot more and there's things that I think that I've started to do that have helped me to do that. What are some of the things that you think that you saw a difference in her? Before we jump ahead, I wrote a list of questions. There you go. When did you know that Raiu would be a challenging kid? I knew when we started getting around other kids her age and I saw the way that she responded to, hey, come here, versus other kids, other kids would kind of just go to their parent. Raiu is on a mission and when she would run away from us, like if we would go to the park and she runs into the park, she looks back to see if we're around a lot further than any other other kids. So I was like, oh, she's a soul rider. She's gonna go, she's not gonna listen to anything that we're gonna have to say until she gets hurt and then she's gonna come to us. But that's kind of one of the first things that I noticed was comparing her to other children. Other children were a little bit more timid, a little bit more kind of not really getting away from their parents, whereas Raiu would be on the move. Yeah, super social, which I love about her. Not afraid, very adventurous, loves to try stuff, loves to climb, but likes to do what she likes to do. I actually feel like I noticed on the way home from the hospital. I don't know, it probably wasn't that early, but I look back at the picture that we have, I think it was like Raiu was one month old. Remember we shot it outside of the house? It was for our anniversary. So December 23rd, we shot this picture, this video of us in front of the house with Raiu. So she was probably like a month and some change at that point. And I don't know if you remember how awful shooting that was. Oh yes, I remember now. She cried constantly, and we were just like, give us three seconds. And I remember at that point Googling how much our kids supposed to cry. So I just knew really early on, and because I was, I lived with my sister and her kids. So I've been around babies before, and this was not a normal amount of fussing. And we knew she wasn't colicky from the doctors. There was nothing developmentally wrong with her. There was just something about Raiu. She was getting more than enough food. We were freezing breast milk. So it wasn't as if that she was starving. So it was just, and as she's grown up, it's like that trait. And I love when I read that book, it was like the three characteristics of being easily frustrated, not very adaptable, and not flexible. And that's her to a teen that's always been her. Is there a particular story that you remember where you lost your cool with her because it got really challenging? So many. I can't even think of one, but I just, I can. I can think of a few in particular. I can share mine and you might remember yours. I have one overriding story, which makes me like sad to the state to think about is Kyra and Zara were over, and she loves being around them now. But back then she just cried kind of all the time. So they were over and I was trying to hang with them and trying to hang with Raiu. And I wanted to have a great time. And I had like this dinosaur show on the TV and we couldn't watch it because she just cried constantly. And I remember them leaving and it felt like an awkward thing when they left because it was like, we just didn't have a fun time. We were just around this crying baby the whole time. And then they left and I was just so mad at Raiu. And I was like, why can't you just enjoy life? Like, why can't you just be happy for once? And like, that's a memory I have. Yeah. Yeah, the only times that I remember, I remember two blow-ups on her and usually it's connected to bedtime. And I just remember she just kept moving to fuss and she wasn't in and I raised my voice and I was like, Raiu, it's bedtime. Like really scary. And she just started crying. And that's the one thing that I would give Raiu every time as soon as I get stern with her or if she can sense that I'm not happy with the way she's acting, she usually breaks down. And then I was like, hug daddy, hug daddy. So I will say that like I know she cares a lot about the way that we view her. And as she gets older and realizes that, oh, when I listen or if I'm able to communicate why I don't like something, I'm gonna choose that route rather than like a tantrum. Yeah, cause I was gonna say like, sometimes that crying thing, I don't actually look at it as in a positive way because if you get to the point of needing to yell at her, you're probably already really frustrated. And then she starts screaming and tantruming. So it doesn't help her mood and it doesn't help our mood. So that balance, I think sometimes- She stops doing what she's doing. Yeah, because she's focused on throwing a tantrum. It's a pretty all consuming task. Yeah, I can take the cries. I can take the cries. But if you're not listening when I say stop, I'll take the cries all day. Has there been feedback from others that has affected you? No, it's never happened. Never, never got under my skin. I'd be annoyed with something if somebody's like, oh, right, it's just bad. I've got to do this or you got to, you know, do that and this and that. This is how you're supposed to parent. I'm always just like, that doesn't matter to me because she's too. So it'd be one thing if she's 14 and she's doing crazy things, then we can have a conversation of like, what's her parenting style? Like, why are you allowing her to do this? So, but until we get there, right now it's just like, I don't want to snuff that out. I don't want her memory to her being strong-willed and curious to be connected to me, to me like forcing her not to do something. And I grew up in a household that was like that. I got to a point where I was a, you know, a teenager when you're supposed to be connecting with your parents, kind of adult-like. They're supposed to know your personality. They're supposed to know what you think is funny. They're supposed to know like your corkiness that you have. And I remember being in the car with my dad and not being able to express myself when I like the song and not being able to sing along, not being able to show a certain type of my side of my character that I just wasn't accustomed to showing because every time I was around my dad I had to be quiet, sit, don't manage this, that and the other was very robotic. So my entire personality was kind of hidden from my dad because of that. So I'm just like, right now, let me just allow her, she knows when I'm frustrated. As she gets older, we'll be able to shape it and have her give her better tools to be able to route herself when she does feel frustrated. So I'm not worried. And whatever anybody else has, it's cool. Yeah, I get impacted by the- I know. I know. I'm grateful for you for that. It's a gift that you gave me because I had come home from a day of particular judgment. And then you just kind of just gave me the freedom just to be like, we're in this together. We're consciously choosing this parenting style. And as we now know since having Ziya, it's not just all because we're not strict parents or too easy going or we're pushovers. Like it's not just that. I mean, there's a big part of it. I'm definitely a more relaxed parent. I definitely choose my nose wisely. I'm not a no, no, no parent. And I never wanted to be that. I want you to explore. I want you to try. I want you to learn the natural way. And sometimes that even means allowing you to be in managed risky situations. Where I'm like, could you get hurt? Yes, but is the lesson of you getting hurt going to be impactful for you? And is the pain going to be long-term? No, I'll let you do that thing. So I do know that I do have a more relaxed style, but I also know now that we have Ziya, that that's not 100% why Ryu is the way that she is. A lot of it is her natural personality. So she gets called feral in my family a lot. I know behind our back, she's just kind of looked at as a kid who has no discipline, no structures, allowed to run wild. And yeah, that can definitely get to me sometimes, because I know that's not the truth. And I also know that there are particular challenges that she has that may be why she is not the way that their kids or other people's kids were or responded to critique or criticism or even discipline. Yeah, I mean, and the thing about it is she could be. If she was under a different household and a different parenting style, she probably would be a more looked at as a good kid. But at the end of the day, you're stifling the things, the natural characteristics that she has that can make her great. I grew up in a household that was, all of us were exactly like Ryu, we were wild. And they were good as in a kid and they listened and they did their chores and they were, they didn't, they were really nice to parents and really good to bring around other adults. But at the end of the day, as they became older, they didn't have the characteristics to really go for things in the world. And it stifled them as an adult. So I'm not really like, I think that I'm a pretty strict parent. I think that I don't just let Ryu do whatever she wants. I think that I'm also a really lenient one as well. But I'm not the type of person that's gonna be grabbing her, taking her away from people, you know, letting her, I don't know, I just don't have that parent style and I know it didn't work. So I don't really care what other people say. You know, whatever you guys think our parenting style is against Ryu, that's cool. But I already saw firsthand what doing that to a child who's naturally the way that she is. And it doesn't end up good. I agree. Yeah. And I love the fact that we align on that value system. I think that that's a gift because we could have a very different experience if we felt very differently about letting her be exactly who she is. What has not worked with trying to manage Ryu? Oh, I think all of the things, I think about when we send her to her room, that works. She calms herself down in the mail. I strongly disagree. Really? I don't think any of that works. What? What parent, what household are you living in? I just don't, I just know in terms of changing the behavior. Yeah. I do not think yelling worked. No. I do not think sending her to her room worked. I do not think that telling her to stop it worked. And I definitely think something that I do a lot or used to do a lot, which is just being like, stop crying. Don't do that. Don't behave its way. Like not even, just not even, just like, don't even do it. Like you don't even have the option to cry. No more crying. Like that doesn't work. Yeah. This morning, someone showed her yogurt. And she really wanted yogurt, really bad. And I was on the way to taking her to school. And I put her in the thing. She was crying. She was crying. I was like, she kept trying to go for the yogurt because it was in the bag that she was sitting next to. And then she kept crying and I kept saying no. She kept crying and I just like yelled. I was like, you are not going to have yogurt today. You will have it later on another day or at school. But right now you're not having yogurt. And she just like looked at me and stopped crying. And then I started riding the bike. She forgot. So I don't know. It's like sometimes she, I don't know. It sometimes works. To me, for me, it sometimes works. If she's crying and she's already having a fit, then maybe you're not going to be able to 90% of the time, but sometimes. Well, that's actually a good point. So the book that I read talks about three styles of parenting. Plan A, plan B and plan C. And plan A is I'm the adult. I'm the authority. This is what you're going to do. Like it's my will. It's your compliance. Then plan B is let's work through this together. What do you want? Here's what I want. How can we meet in the middle? And furthermore, how do I understand what you want? And like actually understand it before we try to come up with a compromise. So I'm not making a compromise. It's actually just plan A. Then plan C is just drop it. Like I'm not even going to take this B phone with you. And so I think to your point, yes, plan A can work sometimes, but I do think that plan B, and that's what the book was really about, is the power of plan B. And that- I'm not using plan B until we can have a conversation. I use plan B. You don't notice I use plan B with her all the time now. Yeah, does it work? Yeah. You don't think so? I don't know. I haven't seen it. I don't know when you use it. You haven't seen her mood change drastically? I don't know. This is interesting to me to talk to you about, but I do know- I haven't seen her mood change drastically, but I haven't changed the way I approach it. I don't know, that's true. I think you have. Okay. Maybe you haven't done it like manually. I thought you were, but like, if she gets upset now, rather than saying like, don't cry or stop crying, or know where I you, or trying to reinforce- No, we ask her questions. We ask her questions. Like I'll be like, and even today, actually interestingly, I heard her say something because whenever she cries, because she doesn't have the capacity to even explain, oh, I'm upset because da, da, da, da. So rather than saying, why are you upset? What's up? What's going on with you? And like, not in a judgmental way. Like, why are you upset? Like genuinely like, what's up? Like what's going on with you? I give her options. Are you upset because this person said no? Are you frustrated right now? Are you feeling angry? Are you feeling exhausted? Are you feeling like no one's listening to you? And so this morning, I went to go ask her, you know, because I didn't know why she was crying. I said, why are you what's up? Why are you crying? And she said, daddy said no to me. And I was like, oh, because every time she cries, I'll always be like, are you frustrated because someone said no to you? So I do think it's, it's working. Yeah. It's working, yes. She's still crying though. She's still crying, but I feel like the mood changes quicker. Yeah, it switches over. And we can get to a place of resolution. And maybe to your point, a big part of it is necessarily even changing her behavior. It's changing my attitude towards her behavior. When I feel like I have more control or I feel like I've got an approach that is getting us closer to a better outcome down the line even. It makes me feel better and gives me more patience. Yeah, I agree. I also think I'm pretty big on plan C too. Just give it to her. Just drop, like, yeah, like, and that was a big part of the thing of the book too. It was saying that when you have an explosive child who's not very flexible and adaptable, choosing your battles is really important. And so I really do think long and hard before I, like, enforce something on her. Like, is it that important? And also, I know me. I like having my way done. So, like, if she has a way, why isn't she allowed to do that? And then even little stuff, like, it was saying in the book that adults are really bad at impulse control. Of course. So we're trying to tell this kid, like, no to the yogurt. But the real truth is if I wanted the yogurt, I would have it. You know what I mean? Like, so if I'm packing her lunch, I'm gonna snack on a few crackers, you know, before I put it away. And if she's gonna wander over and be like, can I have some? Why am I gonna tell her no? When I just couldn't even stop myself from snacking on them. You know what I mean? So that's what I mean about choosing your nose. Yeah, exactly. Reminds the yogurt, because we just got her dressed. So I was like, you can't eat yogurt right now and not get it everywhere. That's the thing. Once in a while, I think plan A is what you have to do. But knowing long term that if the parenting style is just like this is our way, basically the only thing we can hope to do is to break her spirit. Yeah, no, we're not doing that. Don't wanna do that. We're just, I think we're doing fine. That's just me. I think we're doing fine. She's two and a half. Like, she's gonna cry over yogurt sometimes. She's gonna cry over spilled milk. She's going to. It's just what it is. You know? She's gotta ride it out. I'm not worried at all. No, I guess maybe that's the difference though between you and I. Like, I don't, I'm gonna try to do something now. You might try to do something a little later. Yeah, when I can have a conversation and whatever I'm doing is not in vain and it's effective. When we can actually have a conversation. You know, I see her. She's somebody who learns off of other kids and the daycare that we had her out at the kids were crazy and they cried and they yelled and they screamed to get what they want. I understand you think that that's how she was when she was a baby, but she wasn't that screamy when, before she started going to play. Oops, sorry, sorry to play. But before she started going to that daycare, she wasn't as screamy as tantrumy. I remember the time that I saw her start to throw herself on the floor and I went to go pick up a kid and there was a kid who threw himself on the floor when he would cry. And so I was like, oh, you got this from this person. Cause you definitely have your moments, but you never threw yourself on the floor before. There's new daycare. The kids are a little older. They listen a little bit better. The teachers are a little bit more engaged with the kid. And I think that she's gonna pick up a lot of different habits. So I am not worried. So you think that her behavior can be impacted socially, but within the house, you're like, don't put pressure on it. Just wait till she grows out of it. What's the big deal? Socially with other kids at her age, she's watching them listen. Okay, maybe a dual approach works, where we're also changing. I'm doing your approach. I know. I'm doing it. But you're also not in purposefully knocking it. Well, you read a book for some years. She's two and a half. It wasn't four seven-year-olds. It was four explosive kids. A lot of the examples that they gave in the book were children who were like at homework age, but it was also talking about kids who showed explosive tendencies from the time that they were one years old. Yeah. Yeah. That's just me. This is my cousin, Ian, was an explosive kid. Yeah, no, don't. I'm not saying that she's the most explosive. The riot was not no Ian. I'll tell you that. You're just being the typical parent right now. I'm just, I'm here. I am here. I am here. I want her to be a little bit explosive. I want her to be this way. And I don't know, I find that I'm, yeah, she might cry or whatever, but I find that she does listen. I find that she does. No, I mean, it's getting, there's moments. We had people over yesterday. It's getting better because you never mentioned the book. No, I'm not saying that. I mean, I do think it helped a little bit. You do. And I'm not, let me rephrase. I'm not even saying that it's necessarily helping Ryu. I know it's definitely helping me in my experience and me feeling like I can be happy parenting my kid today. And I'm not waiting for her to be or to grow or to adjust. I'm just accepting, embracing and enjoying where we're at today. That's beautiful. And if that's what this parenting technique does, maybe it doesn't help Ryu at all, but it helps me and that makes a difference. It helps Ryu and yourself. It's beautiful. It's a great way to look at it. It's very inspiring and motivational. And like, I think every parent should have that outlook on her. Let's just enjoy this shitty kid now. Are you using it sarcastically? No, I'm serious. It's good to be like, I'm gonna enjoy this no matter what. And if she throws tantrum, I'm gonna enjoy this time and try to reason with her. I think it's important. I mean, I think like even having a kid like Ryu could be really a big strain on the relationship. It can be a big strain in the household overall, which is the last question I wanna ask you is, how has Ryu's temperament impacted Ziya, the younger one? Oh, I already see Ziya picking up her screams. She has learned that, oh, this is how you get mommy and daddy to do it. I want them to do it. It's gonna yell. So she's picked that up and that's for sure. And I'm kinda happy about that. Ziya needed a little bit of edge in her. So I think Ryu's gonna like, I think they're gonna help each other. You know, rub off on each other like, and you know, Ryu, let me show you how to really get what you need out of mommy and daddy. You gotta just be nice, be good, make a bed, you know, say something sweet before you go to bed. And I promise you'll get that thing that you want. And then Ryu's gonna give Ziya a little bit more edge, a little bit, no, I'm gonna show you how to take what you want. So I think they're gonna work it out. It'll be good. But I have seen a little bit of Ryu influencing on Ziya. The thing that I have seen is Ziya is not very trusting. And I do think a lot of that has to do with her experience with Ryu. Yeah. Because she does have somebody in the home whom is not very gentle with her. Yeah. And then as parents sometimes, like we're trying to encourage that relationship and not get in the way a lot, which often leads to- Someone getting hurt. Someone getting hurt. Someone is Ziya. Yes. So I think that that's actually, I noticed with me, Ziya didn't have a lot of trust for me. I felt like that. Like- Oh, interesting. Yeah, like she didn't trust me as her mom. I think it's starting to change now. Maybe Ziya was just naturally born, not very trusting. I know a little stuff with her. Like if she's choking on something, she'll fight you before she lets you help her. Yeah. And Ziya doesn't let you feed her. She's like, give me, I'll put it in my own mouth. I don't know what you have going on. And now I noticed like, yeah, if she's in danger or she feels threatened, she comes to me and she does look to me to help her with stuff. It's like something stuck in her mouth. So I think it's slowly starting to change and transition. But that's also, I'm trying to be more mindful when they're playing together and make sure that I have Ziya's back. Because the thing that I never wanted is because Raiju gets frustrated easily, I never wanted her to associate her sister with jealousy or with being pushed off or being neglected. So I would try to overcompensate and like make sure that Raiju felt comfortable and Raiju felt happy, which sometimes led to Ziya getting hurt. So I'm trying to find that balance a little bit more. No, that makes sense. I mean, I definitely noticed in Ziya that she is becoming a little bit more just spunky and maybe I'm just looking at it only positive. I never really noticed Ziya to be not trusting of you or not trusting of me. I have noticed that whenever she hears Raiju, she's like, she's like trying to make sure she's not around her back. So I do know that she noticed that Raiju is dangerous and I need to like be on my pees and cues. But I also noticed that she just loves Raiju. She looks up to Raiju so much. She wants to be next to her. She wants to get into whatever she's getting into. And so she wants to be Raiju. So I could see that early on. So I think that they're gonna have a really good relationship. Me too. Yeah. All right, that's the end of this video, I think. For any parents out there who has, who's struggling, because you have a kid that's a little bit of a struggle, I think you're not alone. And I think that there's definitely ways to find beauty in it. I can not put enough money and value on having a parent, a co-parent who's there with you. That's how I was actually saying, I was talking to a group of women about when you have a partner who's not in it with you, when you're going through it, you look at that person and it makes you even more mad. You're already frustrated and you're already exhausted. What I love that we have is when we're going through something crazy, I can look over at you and be like. Yeah. And you're like. Yeah, it's nuts. And we know that we're in this together. Yeah. And that just means the world to me. Yeah, no, for sure. And even just like your attention to detail with Ryu is very inspirational because you're always searching for better ways. Which I can't always, you know, I'm not the best at that per se. I'm down to try new things. I'm down to move and find, you know, different avenues for Ryu. But I do struggle with like, well, my upbringing was like this and I think I'm trying to stay away from being so opinionated on what you're doing in the morning and what you're doing right now. But I can step up in that area and help out in that realm. But even down to the food, you're like searching middle placements. You're searching different preschools. You're searching so many different ways to put Ryu in the best position, even with the given explosiveness that she has, which is cool. It's awesome. Thanks, Ryu. Thank you for watching this video and thank you to Squarespace, a one-stop shop for your e-commerce, branding, website and email marketing campaign needs. Squarespace is an amazing form that I've been using since 2017 to bring my branded vision to life, to bring my company to life. It's where I host my quizzes and where you can learn about my book and my business and our production company. We have four different Squarespace websites and they're all housed in one place, which is extremely convenient as well. It's also where I have my blog. So what will you build? What is your next big idea and can Squarespace make that idea bigger, splashier, more efficient and more stunning? And you will be surprised at how affordable Squarespace is, especially on the email marketing campaign. I can't even tell you all the day and night difference that I got from working with previous email marketers to working with Squarespace. And I actually find the templates much more simpler to customize and a lot better looking. So do yourself a favor. Go and check it out for yourself. Go to squarespace.com slash Shan Booty and sign up for a free two week trial and it's like genuinely free. No credit card required. Play around, poke around. And if you like what it is that you're seeing, bring your vision to life with Squarespace and get 10% off at squarespace.com slash Shan Booty. Thanks for watching. I'm in the back. Pull up a sun. I'm into your trap. I didn't want to go get into that. Sit in my lap. Get into that. Running and gunning and dropping the stack. I'm gonna do it with you in the back. Show me what you're gonna do for the road. What you trying to do, girl?