 The Jack Benny program. At five to say. I'm not a bit of a. American find tobacco is what counts in the cigarette. And a less MFT lucky strike means find tobacco L S. M F T no doubt about it. Lucky strike means fine tobacco. That's one thing you can be sure of always year after year at auction after auction. Independent tobacco experts. Men who really know tobacco can see the makers of lucky strike consistently Select and buy that fine that light that naturally mild tobacco fine light Naturally mild tobacco real lucky strike tobacco fine tobacco that means real deep down smoking enjoyment for you So smoke that smoke a fine tobacco lucky strike so round so firm so fully packed So free and easy on the draw Oh Ringing Jack Benny with Mary Livingston Phil Harris Rochester Dennis day and yours truly don't will Ladies and gentlemen last Friday February 14th with Jack Benny's birthday Jack celebrated the occasion with the dinner party at his home So let's go back to Friday and out to Beverly Hills where we find Mary and Rochester helping out Rochester's mr. Benny's still upstairs. Yes, ma'am And they say women take a long time to get dressed You've been up there two hours already. Well with mr. Benny's physique dressing isn't so simple What do you mean by the time he pulls in what sticks out and pass out what sinks in it's a new day Well, he ought to be down pretty soon. Now, let's see the tables all set. Oh by the way Rochester You're gonna serve our dues. Yes, ma'am. Oh, that reminds me. I'd better take the caviar of the frigid air caviar Did mr. Benny by caviar? Well, yes indirectly. What do you mean indirectly? Well, once a week we have fish for dinner Uh-huh and before I go to the market mr. Benny tells me to pick out a sturgeon with that maternal look I'm all dressed how's everything going? Oh fine Jack and while you were dressing these telegrams came I already opened them You did well read them to me. Okay, dear Jack. Sorry I won't be able to attend your birthday party as I have a touch of flu sign Jane Wyman Here's another dear Jack. Sorry, I won't be able to attend your birthday party as I have a touch of grip Signed Claudette Colbert. Oh, here's another dear Jack Sorry, I won't be able to attend your birthday party as I have a touch of the stamper signed lassie Then we can leave the bone in the soup is That all and no there's one more. Oh, this one's from Leo de Roche. Oh Leo. Yeah, he says that dear Jack I'm sorry. I can't bring my wife to your birthday party as I'm a single man in California See that's a shame Anyway, I'm sure the party will be a success. I'm having Isaac Stern and mr. Mrs. Coleman Rochester. What are you doing? I'm putting the champagne labels on the seven up I'm not serving that tonight. I'm having still wine. What do you think would be better Mary red or white wine? Oh, I don't know. What are you having for your meat course? Oh, I'm having a month's debauch Bordeaux saute. What's that hamburger? We're not having it as patties. We're having it as meatballs and Rochester when it's time to serve the meatballs do it with a spoon Me don't put three holes in them and roll them down the center of the table Very after everybody arrives Wonder who that can be much too early for any of the guests. I'll get it How do you do mr. Benny my name's brown I represent the lifetime pop pan and kettle company now I come in for just a minute. Thank you Look, this is my assistant Joe Davidson. Oh glad to know you that goes double Now look fellas honest of any as you are one of the leading citizens of Beverly Hills We have selected you as the man who should have our first post-war demonstration given by the lifetime pop pan and kettle company Well, that's very nice But I'm gonna show you beyond the shadow of a dog the superiority of our product over every other competitor in the field What about it Joe that goes double look the purpose of our visit is to come into your home and put on a dinner The like of which no king has ever eaten look gentlemen. I'd like to talk to you about this some other time You see today is my birthday, and I'm having some guests over for dinner. Did you hear that Joe? What a coincidence Mr. Benny in one hour we can have ready for you a complete seven course dinner a primary roast baked I'd hope potatoes carrots peas and everything to go with it you you fix all that for me What will it cause not a dime mr. Benny not a dime this dinner is well Absolutely free through the courtesy of the lifetime pot pan and kettle company Well, well that sounds reasonable Jack quiet Mary fellas. What do you get out of mr. Benny after you have tasted food? That's been cooked in a lifetime pot pan or kettle. You'll never want to be without them. Isn't that right Joe? That goes double Mary I answered for Joe he fell asleep. Oh Well, Mary, what do you think about it? Oh Jack? You can't do a thing like this You're having important guests like Isaac Stern one of the world's greatest violinist and mr. Mrs. Ronald Cole there's nothing to worry about we drive our truck around to the back door We prepare and cook the food in your kitchen and your butler will serve it you see Mary There's nothing to it go ahead fellas the kitchen is your good. Good mr. Benny You're a man with a head on your shoulder that goes double What come on Joe we got a job You know Mary this is going to Jack Benny you ought to be ashamed of yourself Mary What are you worried about? We'll be getting the best food possible and nobody'll know after all nothing's too good for the Coleman's they're probably getting dressed for my birthday party right now In a moment, Benita, I'm just looking through this medical book. Let's see arthritis asthma athletes foot blisters very very Crooked colic erycephalus fever gout goiter gang Oh darling, we've used all those excuses this time. We'll have to go Yes, I guess we'll we'll have oh, oh wait a minute wait. Here's one. I overlooked this temper No, no knowing Benny's friends one of them must have used that By the way, Benita, what birthday is Benny celebrating? He's 38. 38 Indeed imagine him saying he's only two years older than I am Stop wasting time and get ready. They're expecting us. I told mr. Benny would be there early You saw Benny today. Yeah. Yeah, he dropped over here. You remember about two weeks ago. He borrowed your fountain pen Oh, so he finally returned it. No, he came over to fill it Imagine that when we go on our vacation we ought to leave a bottle of ink at the back door We did that last year and that Harry's fellow drank it Come on put on your tie. All right. All right. Oh, what a wasted evening this will be Which I could stay at home and listen to them good music. By the way, you know that new record I bought I almost know it by heart. Really? How does it go? Open the door Richard? Richard opened that door. Come on darling. Help me out wrap on the table You know as long as we're going to Benny's party, I think I ought to change my shirt What's wrong with the one you have on it's clean then why change it? Oh my dear you ever seen Benny eat soup He puts a spoon in each hand and goes after it like a mix master All right darling. Let's go. We must try and be pleasant. I do hope you remember mr. Benny's friends Let's run over them once more. Who is Don Wilson? He's the fat one And um Phil Harris the one with the blue lips Yes, yes ink was indelible Dennis day. Oh, he's the silly one. That's right and Mary Livingston. She's the normal one good Now she ever got mixed up with that bunch of schlemeles. I'll never Come on Ronnie. Come on. We mustn't keep them waiting any longer Hello fellas welcome to my birthday party. Hi Jackson many have a return. Hello Jack and congratulations. Hello, mr. Benny I'm glad you all got here early kids and don't forget Dennis. You're going to sing happy birthday to me Aren't you? Oh, yes, sir. Good. Happy birthday to you. Happy. No, not now. Not now. I'll tell you when oh now Come on. Come on in the other room Well, I can hardly believe my eyes. What's the matter Jackson the way you're dressed patent leather shoes white tie and tails Yeah, and get a load of these white gloves and that cane over my arm. Yeah, but Phil Where'd you get that black eye? I never should have passed that pool room dressed like this Well anyway, Phil you do look nice. Shall I serve the cocktails now mr. Benny? Not yet, Rochester We'll wait until every down don't mess around the table. We got everything said just right. I was just admiring it jack It looks wonderful. What's the idea of having that bed sheet over those four chairs? Those aren't four chairs What that's a bench we lifted from the bus stop Jack you did it's only for a little while and anyway kids We're gonna have a fine dinner and lots of fun at well Dennis, huh? I noticed you brought a little package to my birthday party Dennis you don't have to blush. Come on open it up. That's it. We get to the table. What is it my lunch? It is my birthday. It seems that somebody could have brought me something. I brought you something look birthday cake, huh? Well, isn't that beautiful a birthday cake with 38 lucky strike cigarettes on it Isn't that wonderful down? What's the cake made out of? It's made of that fine that light that naturally mild No, no down. They're so round so firm so far. I know about the lucky strike. I mean, how about the cake? No, thanks. I'm on a diet And it was nice you to put 38 cigarettes on it. Hey Jackson who you're trying to kid with that 38 stuff You're a lot older than I am and I'm 35 happy birthday to you Dennis quiet What'd you say Phil? I said that I'm 35 years old and I don't even show it What are you talking about? You've been studying music for over 35 years. He doesn't show that either I agree with you 35 what is your birthday Phil? Well, I was born April the 21st that comes under the sign of Boris the bull What does that mean people born under Taurus are usually handsome popular and have nice stable manners Oh Harris with material like this you better make money fast You're not kidding Taurus the bull Mary. What would you what were you born under Elsie the cow? Elsie the cow it happened in a boarding house Babe nearly took your job away from you Marry another joke like that and you'll be asking babe for autograph and this is nothing a kid about The zodiac is a very interesting subject. It most certainly is Jack You know, I was born under the sign of Leo the lion you were Dennis. What sign were you born under a picket sign? My mother was out on strike Dennis stop being silly and that goes for all of you and I'll watch it tonight. Will you kid? You know, I'm having some very important people who's all gonna be there Jackson only a world famous violinist Isaac Stern and Mr. And Mrs. Ronald Coleman Ronald Coleman gee I like the way he talks if I were king I'll love if I were king. What tributary nations would I bring to stoop before your scepter? swear allegiance to your lips and eyes and hair Then if you sounded just like him that was very good. Thank you, Benita That's all right. That's enough now kid remember what I told you Rochester seals at the door, please Good evening. Oh, Manchester. Oh, I didn't wear it. It's a warm-up. How about your hat, Mr. Coleman? No, I didn't bother with the hat living so close. Oh, well, would you like a dollar worth of nickels? Nickels, I think the slot machine is about ready to pay off By Ronnie Vanita, welcome to my birthday party. Well, congratulations Jack. Many happy returns. Thank you. Thank you Come on in the other room. You know my associates It ain't the kid from Shangri-La. Hello Ronnie. What do you hear from the high llama, bud? Well, the party just started control yourself Here's Mary and Don Wilson. Nice to see you again. Hello, Mr. Miss Coleman. Hello. Well, Ronnie You don't know how happy I am that you and Benita came to my party. It's a pleasure. I'm sure it's a pleasure I'm sure Well, what's that? Do I hear an echo? What's that? Do I hear an echo? Dennis, cut that out. You know, you know Ronnie Ronnie, you'll have to excuse Dennis. He you know, he always likes to imitate famous people It's really it's amazing, but sometimes it can be embarrassing. Mrs. Coleman here have a piece of Jack's birthday cake. Oh, thank you Yes, yes, and here's an ashtray. I mean a fork a fork It's very good. No, ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Isaac Stern Well, well, mr. Stern, I'm sure glad you got here. Come on in and sit down. Thank you I'm so tired of standing standing. Yes, somebody lifted the bench from the bus stop If that she's got a hole in it with dead Why Roger sir, and it's a stern, you know my gang Mary, Phil and Don. Oh, yes. Hello. I Don't believe you've met Dennis Dennis. This is mr. Isaac Stern. How do you do Dennis? I've listened to you many times on the air and I've enjoyed your singing very much Dennis Dennis the man paid you a compliment. Huh? Say something happy birthday. No No, not yet. See uh, I think he's a little excited because it's my birthday and now mr. Stern I want you to meet two very charming people Very very close friends of mine. In fact, we're neighbors mr. And Mrs. Ronald Coleman. Well, this is indeed an unexpected privilege Thank you. I feel the same way. In fact, had we known you were going to be here We wouldn't have hesitated about coming I mean we would have come earlier. Yes, yes Mr. Stern, we haven't seen you since your last concert at the Los Angeles Philharmonic and it was really thrilling Yes, it was really wonderful. Mr. Coleman and I were there that same evening and we were simply carried away Yes, mr. Stern, I particularly liked the way you played the Mendelssohn Concerto. I never heard anyone else do the Allegro Well, I think the that particular movement called for moto a passionato rather than a more reserved approach Well, I thought oh shut up Mary that's no way to talk to mr. Stern Mr. Stern, you know, I thought that the Mendelssohn Concerto could be played moto a passionato or Allegro con moto. I mean it could go either way. It's alright like a stupefaker I mean one has the moto in the front and the other has the moto in the back Mary we're having a serious discussion now. Mr. Motto. I mean mr. I Mean mr. Stern. Oh, I'm Mr. Stern Mr. Stern, I've heard Mr. Stern, I've heard some violinists play the Mendelssohn Concerto moto a passionato and others play it and Dante Well, mr. Benny that has been a controversial subject Mr. Harris as a colleague and a fellow musician, what do you think look Bob? Don't let this monkey suit. I'm wearing fool. Yeah Well, please oh, mr. Benny there will be served in a few minutes. Thank you. Thank you, Rochester And don't forget to serve the caviar first. No caviar tonight boss. Why that sturges name was Louie not Louise. Oh Well, then we'll we'll just have cocktail Mr. Stern, would you consider it an imposition if we asked you to play a number for us before dinner? Oh, that would be wonderful I'd be happy to play for you as a matter of fact the sheer coincidence, of course I just happened to bring my violin and accompanist with me tonight My birthday they could have at least asked me I would have refused anyway. Who's gonna take that chance? I Never mind is there any composition you care to hear? Mr. Sten in your repertoire. Do you happen to know open the door Richard? Mr. Sten that one number I always loved with you on the violin. It's the enough to concerto. Oh, that's my favorite number, too How about a mr. Stern? Oh, I'd be very happy to play that as I should have known You know it's a stern. It's wonderful how in pictures they can always get somebody to do something for somebody else in Lost weekend Phil Harris did the drinking for Ray Milan For that they gave him an Oscar The blue lip no no no red eyes and by the way, Ronald Ronnie speaking of pictures You know, I saw the preview of your new one the late George aptly and it was simply wonderful Thank you Jack just recently I saw one of your pictures, too. Which one the late horn blows at midnight When did you see it? He went to the funeral quiet And now folks with a little encouragement. I'll be glad to play a violin solo dinner, sir. Thank you, Manchester Well, as long as on the table we might as well go in come on everybody come on Action, this is the best grub you've ever had at your house. Yes, Jack. I've never tasted such good food Yeah, what food these things melt in your mouth Dennis. Those are ice cubes Anyway, I'm glad you're all enjoying it after all. It's my birthday and I thought I'd go all out. You're not out of dying Mary Hey, Jack, this roast beef is simply delicious. Isn't it beneath us? Yes? I wonder if I dare off to some more certainly certain is more where that came from Rochester more roast beef, please Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Anybody want more butter for their baked potatoes? Yes. Yes, bring in more butter Yes, get the sugar bowl in your pocket. It's ours Anybody want more bread carrots peas? Ronnie, what are you doing? Emptying the sugar out of the bowl. Oh, you needn't bother. That's ours, too Mr. Stern, why don't you put down the violin and eat something? I thought somebody might ask me for an encore. Oh, we'll We'll have that after dinner You know I think we've had any wrong all the time this dinner simply wonderful Oh, come on, don't stop now eat some more eat some more. No, Jack I couldn't eat another bite and I'm not one to make speeches, but if I were king Love if I were king. Oh, I'm sorry Jack after this marvelous dinner. I want to tell you how much we appreciate your inviting us here My pleasure. I'm sure and Jack this being your birthday I want to take this opportunity of wishing you many many happy returns Well happy that you could all be here tonight on my birthday I'm glad you enjoyed the dinner And I hope that next year You've all had a chance to taste the food now listen to me. What is this demonstration dinner was put on here tonight free of all Demonstration dinner the lifetime pot packing a price from a dollar and a half to 475. Come on, Benita. Let's get out of here Don't you dare this is an outrage. We're going Demonstration you block yourself on free crop then you want to leave Joe like the wind now wait a minute. I knew this deal It's sturdy. I'll show you. It's a strain. You can't go. Don't go, please. What bill, you know, I Look here to answer me Somebody say something happy birthday to you and for the future and welfare of us all It is important that we continue to build financial security for ourselves And for our children Protect your future by extra bonds now Thank you Mr. Isaac Stern was accompanied at the piano by mr. Alexander Zakin Now Jack will be back in just a minute But first here is my good friend mr. Basil Riesdale as you listen to the channel of the tobacco auctioneer remember LS MFT Lucky strike means fine tobacco And in a cigarette, it's the tobacco that counts here are the words of a man who's been an independent tobacco buyer for 29 years Carl Hartfield of Greensburg Kentucky. You said I can report what I've seen with moan eyes At auction after auction, I've seen the makers of lucky strike by fine tobacco Good right primary tobacco that's got real smoke and quality. I smoke luckies for over 28 years Yes season after season Independent tobacco exports like Mr. Hartfield can see the makers of lucky strike Consistently select and buy that find that light that naturally mild tobacco fine light Naturally mild tobacco real lucky strike tobacco LS MFT lucky strike means fine tobacco for your own real deep down smoking enjoyment Remember LS MFT lucky strike means fine tobacco So smoke that smoke a fine tobacco lucky strike so round so firm so fully packed so free and easy on the draw Never so embarrassed in my life. It's certainly what's humiliating. Yes What an evening but you know beneath her that was a delicious dinner and I was just thinking you know that little party were getting excited Yeah, do you think those men would Ronnie you wouldn't dare?