 Lux presents Hollywood. The Lux Radio Theatre brings you Bing Crosby, Joan Caulfield, James Dunn, and Elizabeth Patterson in Sing You Sinners. Ladies and gentlemen, your guest producer, Mr. Mitchell Lysen. Greetings from Hollywood, ladies and gentlemen. Our hearts tonight are on the other side of the Atlantic, and so quite properly, if any news of importance should develop, this performance of the Lux Radio Theatre will be interrupted. Here on our stage tonight, we have a rather unusual combination. First and foremost, the winner of this year's Academy Award is the outstanding motion picture actor. Second, the man who combines his thespian talents with such business projects as the cattle ranch, an airplane factory, and a Hollywood producing unit. Finally, we have a genial performer who plays Hollywood's best golf, and wears the most outrageous shirts and screened them. These are not three men, of course, but one. Bing Crosby. He appears tonight in his original screen role in Sing You Sinners from my home studio, Paramount. The Bing has just finished his forthcoming picture, Road to Utopia. Co-starred with Bing on our stage tonight is another veteran, an ever-popular performer, James Dunn. While in behalf of romance, we present the fresh and glamorous Joan Caulfield, who will soon be seen in her first starring role in Paramount's Miss Suzy Slaggles. Also in tonight's cast is the lovable Mrs. Beebe as Elizabeth Patterson, who played the same role on the screen. Sing You Sinners is the story of a happy-go-lucky family before the war, their trials and laughter, fortunes and misfortunes. A family perhaps not quite like yours in mind, but typically American in their loyalty, romanticism and good humor. I don't know whether they use Lux Flakes or not, but if they're typically American, it's certainly a safe guess that they do. Maybe that's what keeps them singing, and maybe that formula will have the same effect on you. For a song in your heart as you wash those dishes and wash those precious fabrics clean, try Lux Flakes. And now the curtain rises on Act One of Sing You Sinners, starring Bing Crosby as Joe, James Dunn as David, Joan Caulfield as Martha, and Elizabeth Patterson as Mrs. Beebe. When a good mother is good for hours over a hot stove so that her three sons may have a helpful and appetizing dinner, and when those three sons are late as usual and the dinner is slowly being cooked away to nothingness, the good mother has a perfect right and privilege to bang the pots around. Uh-oh, Mrs. Beebe is banging her pots around right now. It won't even be thick for the dog. I ought to know better, but now, try and fix something decent for... Is that you, Dave? That's me. Hello, Mother. Hello, Mother, my eye. I suppose it'll never mean a thing to you that when you say you want supper at six o'clock, I expect you'd be here to eat it. I'm sorry, Mom, but a fellow came in late with a break-relining job. What's for dinner, Mom? Don't touch that pot. Oh, it's hot. I told you not to touch it. Oh, pot roast. Why can't we have macaroni sometime? Because as long as I'm cooking, we'll eat for our health around here. You know macaroni makes Joe fat. Yeah. But it's not macaroni, it's lack of work. There's Michael. Every time he comes in, the pictures fall off the wall. Hello, Mom. We hear you. Hi, Dave. Hello, Mike. Hello, Mom. What are you doing lately, going to night school? Hey, what's for supper, Mom? Ouch! Ouch! Pop roast, huh? Joe's favorite. Why don't we ever have hot dogs? I love hot dogs like my own life. Take off your hat. Go wash your feet. Okay, okay. What were you doing, Michael? Why were you so late? Oh, I was studying at the library. Studying? Studying what? Oh, about the world, stuff like that. You know. Yeah, you know. Here I am, Mom. About time, too. Hi, Eman. Hi, Joe. Hello, Joe. Hello, Mom. How are you? Well, where were you? Looking for a job? Yeah, at the pool room. Dave, that is not kind. Mom, what goes on the menu tonight? Don't touch that guy! No! Don't you boys ever learn? Well, fill my mouth with spot roasts. Yes. Sit down before it dries up and blows away. If we don't get a little more order around here, I'll never cook another bite, so help me. Sunday, you and I would come home and find me lying on a shaved lounge eating chocolate bonbons. Michael, where are you going? I want to get the ketchup. Grab some chili sauce. Bring the mustard, too, Mike. I already got it. Here. What's the use of cooking a decent meal? Watching a bunch of idiots splatter it with junk. Take some of that cauliflower, Marshall. Oh, Ma, it smells like old laundry. I said take some cauliflower. Okay, okay. Gee, I see. Well, Dave, I was walking down the street today seeing what would turn up, happened to catch sight of you and Martha driving along. Nobody talking. Look pretty dull. Two of these stippers of poker there. Contest rolls, will you, Joe? You know if I had a little number like that dogging my tracks for three years, I'd turn in my suit. Joe, be quiet. Yeah, you keep your yaps shut about Martha. What's the matter with you? All I keep saying is, why don't you marry the girl? You know downwell why I don't marry her. Because you haven't got enough vinegar to pitch in and help keep this family going. Listen, can I help it if there's nothing in this burg for a guy with ideas? What ideas? I'll smotting some chump at the pool hall for a couple of bucks, swapping the shirt off your back for a brass doorknob. All right, all right, go ahead. Put me on all you want about swapping. But you can't show me a big man in this country today who didn't get where he is by swapping something for... for something. Or something. Dave, you shouldn't lay into Joe that way. Why don't you go ahead and do what he tells you? Sure, get married and then find out you can't take care of yourselves after I'm set. No, thanks. Well, now... Let's quit talking about it. Well, I'm only trying to tell you what I did this afternoon. What? Well, I... I got us a job at a dance in Pleasant. You got old! Listen, Joe, how many times do I have to tell you I don't want any more of that trio stuff? Well, it's a job, ain't it? Is that the only kind of a job you can get? One way you have to drag Mike and me in on it? All right, all right. I don't like it any more than you do. But what am I going to say when a man offers us 15 bucks? Yes, what should he say to that? Now, look, Joe, I work in a garage. See, I've got a decent job and I like it. And if you expect me to spend my nights blowing my brains into a clarinet while you sing a lot to a lot of schoolboys bouncing around a dance floor, well... I'm a man, Doggone, and I want to stay one. Me, too. I build up a tough reputation working out horses at the fairgrounds all summer, and then, bang, you shove an accordion into my hands and turn me into a Buster Brown. You keep crying. Now, listen, Dave, I know how you feel. You feel the same way as I do about singing. Oh, is that so? After I've spent every last cent your father left us to teach you music, you all go around blabbing you won't play or sing because you're men. What's the matter with you? Men sing? I don't care, Mom. I won't do it. All right. The whole thing's off. It is not off. As long as you can earn a nickel by opening your trap or squeezing the music box, you're going to do it. When's that dance? Tonight. Now, listen, Mom, I got a date with Martha tonight. Take Martha to the dance. No, I won't do it. Well, you'll see about that. Joe didn't... I can't show you. I can't show you. Where are you going? I don't want to do it anymore. I say you're going, all of you. So you might as well shut up about it and start getting ready. I'm no millionaire but I'm not the type to care. I've got a pocket full of greens. It's my universe even with an empty purse. I've got a pocket full of greens. I wouldn't take all the wealth on Wall Street for a road where nature tries and I calculate I'm worth my weight in gold and rock. Lucky, lucky me I can live in luxury. I've got a pocket full of greens. Oh, I'm no millionaire but I'm not the type to care. I've got a pocket full of greens. It's my universe even with an empty purse. I've got a pocket full of greens. I wouldn't take all the wealth on Wall Street for a road where nature tries and I calculate I'm worth my weight in gold and rock. Lucky, lucky me I can live in luxury. I've got a pocket full of greens. Oh, thanks Martha. I hate it to drag you out this way. Oh, don't be silly Dave, I liked it. Yeah, but look, you may not like what's coming next. Well, what's the matter darling? Well, a fella called from town and there's a truck stall out on highway number nine. You mean you've got to go out there? Well, I could pick up ten dollars pretty easy Martha and every nickel counts on that house we're going to build some day. We'll build that house all right. You wait and see. Go ahead darling. I'll need that ten dollars for drinks. Oh gee darling. It's like sort of a dream isn't it? Oh yeah. But that truck isn't. Hurry up and get it on stall. Okay. I'll get Joe to take you home. Hey Joe, Joe. There you are Dave. Here's the loot. Oh boy, you know that's that's pretty happy scratch for two songs, isn't it? Yeah. Hey Joe, do me a favor. Will you take Martha home for me? What's the deal? Well, I've got a job to do. I'll take Michael on to help and you can have the car. And here, here's a buck. You can buy her sandwich and coffee on the way. Well, thank you. Thank you. Say you're getting kind of liberal with your little girlfriend, aren't you? Well, if you can't trust your own brother, what do you say? Sure. If you're willing to let her go out with me, I'm not going to knock it. Now give me the keys to the car, will you? Here. And take it easy. Kind of a rough roll, isn't it? Having the boyfriend walk out on you? Oh, I don't mind. It's all for a good cause. Dave and I will make up for it some day when we're married. Whenever that may be. Don't tell me, I know. As soon as I get a job and hold it. Why don't you, Joe? You could easily. I could, but it breaks up my whole day, really. When money comes my way, it's going to come fast and plenty. You wait. I am waiting. And don't seem to be exactly on your side of that, do I? It's too bad you aren't my girl. What? I'd worry about the family until after the wedding. Then you'd be mine. Nothing else would matter anyway. I wish Dave felt that way. I mean, sometimes I do. But unfortunately, you're not my lily, except for tonight. Well, here we are. Here we are where? Well, Dave told me to hit you with some groceries, didn't he? You mean we're going to that joint over there? What do you mean joint? It's the finest roadhouse in these parts. The old straggle in. Hmm, straggle in and stagger out. Listen, I don't even come here with Dave. All the more reason why you should see it. Such a night life, you've got to mix. Yeah, mix. Good for you. Do you think Dave would mind? What mind? It's only his girl and his money. Come on, let's go. What do you think of it? Where do all these people come from? They come from some of our finest families, practically. Well, I still say we shouldn't be here. Listen, what's wrong with this place? It's quiet and restful. Oh, brother. Well, don't you think so? You're good people, all right. Now, I really think that with a little bit of applause, we might be able to bring about a little bit of extra added attraction here this evening. Now, sitting right over there is that Stokesbury flash himself, Master Joe Beebe. What kind of a hustle is this here, huh? We'll go on, Joe. I guess you mean it, but I'm going to hold it against it. Step right up, Joe. Thanks, Miles. Well, other people. Why don't we take a little whack at that song, Don't Let That Moon Get Away, and wait for me on the curves, huh? I'll be with you. One, or two. It's one of those nights for adventure. We ought to be recklessly gay. Who knows what we'll find? So if you're inclined, don't let that moon get away. Your eyes have a way of revealing the thoughts that you really should say. It may be romance, so while there's a chance, don't let that moon get away. And don't let this meeting adjourn. And don't be so ready to go. It's the right time to learn. These moments don't happen so often. Doesn't seem right to delay. You feel it too, whatever you do. Don't let that moon get away. And don't let this meeting adjourn. Be so ready to go. It's the right time to learn. The young hearts should know. These moments don't happen so often. It doesn't seem right to delay. If you feel it too, whatever you do. Don't let that moon get away. Compliments to the bartender. Thanks, bartender. I can't drink this stuff. Oh, you have to drink it. Compliments to the bartender. Yeah, miss. Hey, Art Joe. Whose birthday is it? That's the compliments of the family. And there's another round coming up to one of the couples. Oh, my. Well, I'm beginning to see where music has its good fun. What are you breaking up about? Oh, you. For a fellow who hates music, do you know how many times you sang at that place? Those are for you. Oh. As a matter of fact, if you weren't Dave's girl, it'd make a big play for you. I'd tell you I love you. Oh, you don't love me. You're just feeling good. The same thing. How do you feel? Fine. A little excited. I'd love. But it is not. Compliments of the house. You know what I bet? I bet we'd get along like a million bucks, you and I. What do you like that's Dave for, anyway? Oh, I don't know. Lots of reasons, I guess. You better give me a little stumble. I'm a barrel of monkey. You. You see, there, I haven't even opened my trap and I'm a rat. Yoo-hoo! You're paid. All in, all in. I'm in beef steak. Yeah! I'm safe and sound. You been waiting up for us there? Where were you? We've been on the town, old boy. Taking in the sights. I was showing the little woman what she's going to miss by marrying you. You're drunk. He didn't buy the drinks, Dave. They just kept giving them to him and asking him to sing. All right, Papi. It's on lips. I'm fractured. Fractured. Fractured. I took your girl out. I showed her the first good time she's had since she started going away. So what? If you weren't my brother, I... Yeah, you're America's big brother. Honest, hard-working, and you're stupid as a duck. Don't you get wise yourself, you big chump. Why, you! Dave! Oh, Dave. Hi. Oh, I didn't mean to do that. All of a sudden, I... Go inside, Martha. William, I'll see you tomorrow. He didn't realize what he was saying, Joe. I know, I know. But go in, William. I'll take him home. Good night. Good night. Oh, come on, Joe. Come on, get up. I didn't mean it, Joe. Come on, kids. Stand up. Take it easy. Now we don't want to wake Mom. Why didn't you hit me harder, Dave? Why didn't you really tag me? You should have nailed me. You know what I'd do to a guy like me, Dave? I'd shove my fist right through his chest. Why didn't you hit me harder, Dave? Well, I'll be quiet. I tell you, you really should have, now. Shut up, William. Go inside and I'll get you to bed. I can't think of anything. Well, the bed's over here. Quiet! Dave! Joe! What's the matter? Mike, get out of here. Gosh, what happened to you, Joe? I got what was coming to me. Did somebody slug you? Are you okay, Joe? Oh, boy. Mike, get out of here. William, before you wake up, Mom. But he's in trouble, ain't he? I gotta help. We don't need you now, Mike. Get out of here. Go on. Get. Okay, okay. Gee. Come on. Get your clothes off. Dave, sometimes I turn into such a heel that I surprise even myself. You know what I was trying to do to a man? Move in on your girl. Ah, give me your foot. I'm glad you clunked me, Dave. And you don't have to worry about Martha. Buckeye sees all for you. And I'm all for Buckeye. Give me your mother's foot. You think I'm no good, but I'm going to surprise you. I'm going to fix it so you can marry Martha. You watch me, Dave. But I think of what you've done for me and this family, never squawking unless somebody gets away out of line. So you're the kind of fellow I want to be, Dave. Yeah, I know. I know. Now come on. Get under the covers. Dave, did I tell you? Yes, you told me. Good night. Good night, Dave. Good night, Patrick. Good night, Joe. I heard him opening and closing the drawers. He can't be going. Where would he go? All right, Mom. I'll speak to him. Hello, Paul. Joe, you packed a grip. Yeah, I'm leaving, Mom. Bye, Joe. You don't have to ask me that, Mom. I'm going to go to Los Angeles. I'm going to prove that I can amount to something. I'll send for you and Mike the minute I get set. But we want you here. Please, now, don't ask me to sit. Joe, not even for dinner. It's pot roast left over. Sorry, Mom. Give us a kiss, huh? Oh, Joe. Well, Dave, I'm going to ask you not to leave, Joe. Me too. Well, thanks, but this is what I want to do. Whatever you say. Dave, you know, I don't fit into this town. I'm going to go where I can do the family some good. You're going to be surprised one of these days when I send for the folks. And I give you that OK on marrying Martha? Well, if that's why you're leaving, Joe, you don't have to. Oh, I know what I'm doing. Well, you need some money. No, thanks. This is on me. Go along, Dave. So long, Joe. See you soon, Mom. Oh, Joe, I wish you wouldn't. Oh, I got to. Bye. So long, Mike. Dave. Gee. Well, he finally made his break. I'm sorry he did, but I'm glad, too, because he'll bring out the fight I know he's got in him. His father was the same way. Just drifted along without a worry in the world till you boys started coming. Then he dug in and worked without stopping until the day he died. Goodness, I'm going to stay. Good night, Mom. You know, Mike, you don't realize until he's gone just how you feel about him. Good night, Mike. Good night. Gee. This is a darnest family. In just a moment, our stars will bring you the second batch of senior singers. Hey, come out from behind that magnifying glass and hunting cap. I hardly recognize you. Mr. Kennedy, I'm a detective. Oh, and what kind of a mystery are you detecting? A murder. Ooh, give us the gorgeous details. The pale, lifeless body was found in a trash can in an alley. One shoulder was broken and the sides were torn and mutilated. Oh, horrible. Did Sally Sherlock find any clues as to the perpetrator of this foul deed? Mm-hmm. One Monday morning I saw a girl hanging out her wash. The colors were faded and the print dress she had on looked drab. She was drying nice lips and nighties that should have been hung indoors right out in the bright sunlight. So that made her a suspect? A very good one. I followed her to market and what do you suppose she was buying? Poison? With a box of strong wash day soap. Although there was a package of ruckslakes staring her right in the face. That clenched it. I knew I had to act quickly then to prevent another murder. I hope you've caught her in time. Yes, I burst into her kitchen after she was about to torture her latest victim. She was putting a lovely satin slip into hot water and strong suds. Did she plead guilty? Of course all the evidence was against her. The hot water and strong soap rough handling and the faded clothes on the wash line and poor discarded slip in the alley. Oh, so the body was a slip. Yes, its color was lifeless. Its shoulder straps frayed and its side seams pulled out from careless washing. That girl was guilty all right. Guilty of murdering her nice undies and robbing them of the long life she had. What was the sentence? Life. I sentenced her to give her undies long life with gentle luxe care. But that's no punishment, Sally. With luxe care, her nice underthings would stay lovely three times as long as they did with hot water, strong soap and rough handling. Tests prove it. Well, I figured she'd had enough punishment already, Mr. Kennedy. Always having to buy new lingerie only to have it fade and wear out too soon. So from now on, she'll use nothing but gentle luxe slakes and lukewarm water. And her undies will stay color bright and new looking throughout a long and useful life. Back now to Mitchell Lysen and our stars. As I said in the beginning of the program, we will interrupt this broadcast in the event of any important news bulletin. And now act two of Sing You Sinners, starring Bing Crosby as Joe, James Dunn as David, Joan Caulfield as Martha and Elizabeth Patterson as Mrs. Beebe. Long months to pass and nothing has been heard from Joe since he left home. At last comes the telegram for Mrs. Daisy Beebe. Dear Mom, pack Mike's other shirt and hurry to Los Angeles. I'm in the swap shop business and cleaning up. Tell Dave to get married before Martha realizes her mistake. Love, Joe. Mike! Mike Joe's got a swap shop. He wants his women. We're going to Los Angeles. There he is, Mom. There's Joe. Hey, Joe! Yeah, I thought you'd never get here. Hiya, Mom. Oh, Joe, I'm so glad to see you. Oh, Joe. Hiya, Mike. Well, you sure did it, didn't you? Look at that suit. Oh, you look good. Oh, you betcha. We're in the chips now. Hey, red cap. Hey! Get a hold of those bags, will you? Yes, sir. Want a cab? Well, certainly. Why not? A cab, oh boy. Come on. Come on. Say, Mom, why didn't Dave get married before you left? Well, he just wanted to be sure that everything was all right here first. All right. Are you kidding? Oh, Joe, I'm so happy. Where do you live, Joe? You got a swimming pool? Well, no, not yet. Give me a couple of weeks. I'm so anxious to see the house, Joe. Well, we're not going home right away, Mom. We've got to make a stop first. You better get ready for the biggest surprise of your life. Oh, Joe. Just take your little turn right over there, driver. Pull up in front of that barn, huh? OK. Joe, what is this place? It's a race track, ain't it, Joe? Hold your hats, folks. OK, driver. You can wait, huh? Yes, sir. Come on, Mom. What in the world? Come along now. Right over here, Mom. Howdy, Mr. Joe. Morning, Felder. How's the big boy today? Oh, he's just fine, Mr. Joe. Hear that? He's getting to know you already. Hi, Gus, old boy. Joe, will you please tell us? Folks, I want you to meet Uncle Gus, the grandest race horse that ever peaked through a bridle. Race horse? Mm-hmm. Oh, God. Mom, if you ever looked your fortune in the face there it is. There's the horse that's going to carry the three of us right into that field of clover. You mean it's hours? Really, hours? Front and back. Oh, boy. Why, Joe, you mean to tell me that you can afford to keep a race horse out of what you take in at the swap shop? Swap shop? Oh, I have some news for you, Mom. I swapped it. You swapped it? Mm-hmm. For what? Uncle Gus. But where are you working? Right here, training Uncle Gus. You get paid for it? No. Well, where do you make your money? Well, I'm not making any right now, but as soon as Uncle Gus starts racing there will only be a couple of months before we can kill him. Joe, do you realize that you've sent for us, told Dave to get married, told us to sell the house? Nothing to worry about. Mom, things might be a little tight for a while, but we're loaded. I've got a nice little house two months rent paid, credit at the market, credit for Uncle Gus's feet. Sure, he don't need a job. We've got a race horse. Sure. Can I ride Uncle Gus Joe? Can I be a junkie? You've got your trap. Joe, are you crazy? What are you going to do when your credit runs out? Are we all supposed to move in on Dave and Mom? Never happened. Never happened. Now believe me, Mom, you've got to take a chance if you're going to amount to something. And my chance came. Yes. Your chance came and you traded yourself right out of it. Just the same as you've done ever since you were old enough to have a thought in your head. Now, don't worry. Whatever you do, Mom, don't worry. Say, you've got a dollar so that I've got to keep the meeting. Oh, dear. Just a buck will be in there. Thanks, Mom. Here you are, fella. Pork chops tonight, boy. Thank you. Keep Uncle Gus in good shape. Stay right under them hind feet. Yes, sir. All the time. Come on, Mom. Don't you want me to stay here, Joe? Don't you think I ought to stay with Uncle Gus? Oh, no. We're going home. That is if Mom's got the cab fare. Now listen here, Joe. Now stop worrying, Mom. Come on home. We'll top it over. That's the dining room over there behind that screen. I know there's much of a place that... Will you stay, Mom? Please. There's nothing else we can do. And remember this. I'll say we'll stay. Look at me, Uncle Gus. I'm coming around the turn. I'm coming like a house fire. I'm way off. It's Michael. I say remember this. As far as Dave and Martha are concerned, you still have the spot shop and you're earning money. They mustn't find out the truth. You understand? Yes, Mom. Because no matter what happens to us, you're not going to ruin things again for them. Can you imagine that? All upset when we got us a racehorse. Mom, if I didn't know you so well... Yeah, that's quite... Yes. I'm afraid we all know each other too well. We're back. Hiya, Mom. What's the supper, Mom? Ouch! There's a stew for supper, as usual. Did you get that fool horse enter in the race yet? Fool horse. That's fine talk. Only today he breathed three quarters and won 14 flat-hired hell that would have blown out of mass. I asked you a simple question. When is Uncle Gus going to run? In a couple of weeks he shall parade postward. We've got to wait for our spots. Yes, it's been a couple of weeks for the last two months. Michael, I told you not to clean those jockey boots in the kitchen. We're going to leave this house like we found. Oh, my. Oh, that's right, isn't it? We get kicked out of here in three days. Yes, in three days. And you sit there like a king reading that crazy horse paper. Do you realize we won't even have a roof over our heads? Yes, maybe so, but in a couple of weeks we'll be right back on top again. Yes, on top of the bread line. Oh, that's right, Michael. Tell him we'll pay him next week. Okay, I'm getting good with that yarn. There's just one thing I can be thankful for. That Dave and Martha don't know what's happening here. Dave ever found out? Oh, Mom, now wait a minute. Nobody's going to find out about anything. Hiya, son. We're lucky here. Oh, hey, Mom. Oh, hey, Mom. All right, Mom. All right. I don't know. Well, I mean, act just like those letters you wrote. Everything's fine. Get it? Don't wake him, Mom. All right, thank you. Hiya, Joe. Hiya, Dave. Hello, mother, baby. Well, are you married? Are you on your honeymoon? Better yet, we're going to be married right here. Oh, that's so sweet of you. I don't want to see the wedding. Well, that's what we thought. The whole family, you know. Hey, Dave, have you heard the news? Joe's got himself a wife. Up to him, Dave. Ouch! What's the matter? Michael, go, go, straighten up your room. Oh, he's so darn fidgety. Go on, go on. Okay, okay. Well, how do you like the house? Oh, it's quite a place. Nice, isn't it? Yeah. We're going to build a house ourselves pretty soon. When do you have to go back? Only four or five days. Oh. What's wrong? Oh, uh, nothing, only, uh, we are moving in three days. What's the matter with you? Well, it's kind of small. Say, you must be a one-man riot around this town. Doing what? Say, how about getting married right here, huh? Throw a little feed somewhere so nobody will have to cook. Wine with the grub, maybe, huh? That sounds great. Yeah, it'll kind of be kind of nice being all together again. Oh, say, Joe, I got a laugh for you. What's that? It's all instruments along, so you can dump them in the swap shop. Oh, you did? The accordion, the clarinet, and your guitar. Ha-ha. Sure feel good to know they're gone, huh? Yes. Come on. Ha-ha-ha. Mmm. Hey, look at me. Our own color. Hey. Michael. What's the idea of the jockey suit? Look, Dave, I'm coming into the stretch. It's Uncle Gus by a head. Uncle Gus by a length. Uncle Gus pulling away. Look at me go. Hey, what is this? What's the idea? Well, that's what I wanted to tell you. I'm a real apprentice jockey now, and I'm going to ride Uncle Gus after Joe traded for his swap shop. And I'm going to win on him, too, because we've got to win on him on the kind of getting kicked out of this place. Can you stay and see me ride, Dave? Can you... Shut up! Well, Joe, what's this all about? There's nothing much to tell except that we've got this Uncle Gus into the swap shop. We've got a chance to make a lot of money, though. And you're going to get kicked out of here. David, I... I don't think we ought to burden Martha with any family trouble. This is a great thing to walk into after planning like we did. Martha, you step outside for a few minutes, will you? Well, certainly. But, Dave, no matter what happens... Please, Martha. All right, darling. Now, David, I think... It was nice reading your letters how well Joe was doing. Well, I thought it was better. Yeah, better to lie instead of telling me the facts, that Joe's no better than he ever was, that he can no more take care of the family than he can fly. Well, what are you using for money? Well, there's a fellow down in the pool. We have credit. Yeah, sure. We got... Well, and who's going to pay off? I am. Well, who starts the running? Joe, if I thought I'd do any good, I'd sock you right in the kisser. All right. Now, where do you stand and how long can you hold out? Well, it's like this. Bad news. Can you imagine a guy like that sending for his family? They're broke, aren't they? They're $400 in debt and not a chance to pay off. And mother and the kid living on beans. What are you going to do about it? Well, there's only one thing to do. Stay here and get them straightened out. And me? Well, maybe it won't take long, Martha. If you'll only wait. Oh, but why? Let's be married tomorrow, just as we planned, and I can stay here and help. Drag you into this mess? Marry you into a family that won't even have a place to hang attached? I'll get a job here. That'll help some. Can't you understand, Martha, that the one thing I want to do is to give you that house and everything we've talked about. But marrying you now, moving you into a lot of trouble, I'm not going to do it. Oh, Dave, you don't think the way I do and never will. Because if you did, you wouldn't care what was happening. You'd only know that you loved me and nothing on earth could stop you from marrying me. Martha. Oh, they'll never change this family. And I love them for it. I'm going home now, Dave. And I don't want to hear from you until you realize that they're going to be just as much a part of our future as we are. Trouble and all. You'd better find that out in a hurry, Dave. Goodbye. Martha. She's gone. And I don't blame her. Why? After what you've done, you pull that. Joe, if I did half what I wanted to do, I'd kick you all the way back to Stokesbury. I've lost Martha. I'm losing my job on account of you. And now I'm almost losing my mind. Now, I'll grab that guitar and stand up. Go on. You two might get your accordion. What did I do? It's not what you did. It's what you're going to do. Now, play. Play what, Dave? Play anything. Joe, you sing. Sing before I ram this clarinet down your throat. Now we're going to rehearse, Dave. And we're going to get a job. I'll put this family back on his feet if I have to break everybody's leg doing it. Now, out! My, my, put down that cigarette. You ain't a grown-up high and mighty young. My, my, you just listen here to me. You ain't your biggest catfish in the sea. You practice packing all day long to summer rain. You better listen to your father. Someday practice the law. And then you'll be a re-kiss the neighbor's garden. Back in the shallow water. Seems that I should take you across my knee. You ain't the biggest catfish in the sea. You've got your feet all soaking wet. Then you'll be the death of me, yes. All me. Every night I work on this joint, I feel more like cutting my throat. Oh, yeah, but for not till Gus wins tomorrow. Before I will we be loaded. Win. Well, it's a short thing. I hope. What do you say, Mike? Well, Joe, I've been excited so long thinking about riding up to Gus, but now I'm kind of shaking. But I'll be all right tomorrow. Where are you going? Well, that manager guy said he wanted to see me. I'll be right back. What would the manager want to see Mike for? Yes, sir. I want to meet a friend of mine, Harry Ringmer. How are you, son? Glad to know you, sir. Mike's the kid I was telling you about, Harry. He works for me here, and he has his jockey papers to ride his brother's horse. You're not scared. What's the matter? You're nervous? No, sir. Just, you know, riding my first race tomorrow. Mr. Ringmer's got a horse in that race, too. Mr. Banks. Oh, Mr. Banks is a good horse, but I just bet it. I think you'll win, eh? I got to. Why? Well, we already caused my brother David a lot of trouble, and his girl, and just family reason. Oh, that's too bad. How do you mean? Well, you're plenty green, kid. Lots of things can happen out there to spoil your cake. For instance, the rail. Well, what about the rail? Well, when the other boys start crowding, it's tough going. I've seen a terror kid's leg right out of the socket, throwing him under the horses. Well, I ain't afraid. Well, they need that dough, don't you? I sure do. Well, there's a way of turning a race into a sure thing sometimes. You know what I mean? That's what my brother Joe likes, the sure thing. He's got a smart brother, kid. He knows what he's talking about. He's smart, all right. Sure he is. We can help your family out by taking your brother's tip. No worry about losing the race. No risk. No nothing. Just play the sure thing. Huh? Now look, you've got $400 coming to you. If you win, I suppose another horse crouches. What if you get pocketed and shoved up against the rail? What have you got? Nothing. Now look, have you ever seen one of these before? No, sir. $100 bill. Well, that's yours. And three more like it tomorrow if you don't win. If I don't win? Hey. Yeah. Like your brother says, the sure thing. You want to help your family, don't you? Yeah, sure I do. Okay. Al, would you mind stepping outside for a minute? Not at all, Harry. Not at all. Thanks. Now look, sir. Do you see Mike in place? Mike? Oh, yeah. Joe, wait. Huh? How do you think Uncle Gus will do it tomorrow? Oh, he'll win. Of course. If you were a gambling man, I'd take yep on that. I'm sorry, Al. I don't bet. What kind of odds? Two to one. As good as you get at the track tomorrow may be better. Oh, okay. Al, Al, boy, you ought to be a little more careful with your Joe. This Uncle Gus. It's your thing. Well, that's the way you feel. Go on. Put your hay in the bank. Anyway, I wouldn't bet a... Couldn't bet. No chance. I haven't got a dime. What difference does that make? You're working, aren't you? You can pay it every week. Al, you serious about this? Sure. I want to bet against your Uncle Gus. I'll put up plenty, too. Al, I wouldn't do this only. You see, I'm sort of on my good behavior, if you know what I mean. Well, sure things are sure thing. Okay. You got to bet. We pause now for station identification. This is CBS, the Columbia Broadcasting System. We'll be back in just a moment with Act 3 of Sing You Sinners. Meanwhile, listen to this. Butter, 24 points a pound. Lot of pork, 12 points. And a porterhouse steak. When I can get it, it's 10. We've been margarines up to 12 points. Well, remember when that's all butter cost. I just don't see where I'm going to get enough points for it all. Cheer up, ladies. There are extra red points waiting for you at your butchers. Two points for every pound of used fat you turn in. I know it's hard to save more fat when you're getting less meat, but it can be done. Here's how. First, keep your salvage can handy near the stove where it'll be ready to receive every drop. Then, after you've poured fat into the can, scrape the roaster, broiler, or frying pan with a spoon to get what's left in the corners. And don't forget to melt down those scraps of fat left on plates at the table. If you like boiled ham or frankfurters, set aside the water you've cooked them in and let it cool. Pretty soon you can skim quite a bit of soft white fat off the top. Postry, too, yields a lot of fat. A point-free source of extra tokens if you don't use it in baking. All these things mount up. Help you get more red points, and at the same time, help supply the government and industry with thousands of necessities for the war and homefront. But do they still need so much fat? The war seems to be going so well with victory in Europe so close. But don't forget the jets still hold many of the oil-producing Pacific Islands. And even on the ones we've just liberated, it'll be quite a while before they get into production again. So this year, it's up to us at home to turn in 100 million more pounds of fat than we did last year. Surveys show that six out of seven women aren't salvaging all the used fat they could. And only if everyone does a hundred percent job will there be enough to meet the demand. The government especially urges housewives in small communities or rural sections to ask their county or home demonstration agent where to turn in the fat they've collected. Remember, our country needs every drop from everyone. We return you to Mitchell License. As I mentioned before, we will interrupt this broadcast for any important news bulletin. Be sure to join us after the play tonight and we'll take you backstage for a brief talk with Bing Crosby and his co-stars. And now here's Act 3 of Sing You Sinners. With Bing Crosby in the role of Joe, James Downers-David, Joan Carfield-Ismartha, and Elizabeth Patterson as Mrs. Dee Dee. The afternoon of a big race. Three minutes before the horses go to the post. Just outside the jockey's dressing room, the gambler ringman waits for Mike. As the ball comes through the door, ringman grabs him quickly. Mr. Second. Oh, hello, Mr. Ringman. How do you feel, kid? Fine. Another 300 bucks is waiting for you? Yes, sir. You know what else is waiting for you? They're trying to get funny. What do you mean? Be the last pick you ever try on or off a track. Now, remember that. Yes, sir. All right. I'll beat it. Yes, sir. Hey, boss. Hey, did you get the bet down? Oh, sure. I got the whole three grand covered at two to one. Nobody got why it was my money. Ah, we got six grand and suck the money the minute Mr. Mike wins. Hey, you sure that jockey and Uncle Just won't cross you? I'm scared to death. Even if he does try to pull on anything smart, my jockey will take you. Come on, let's go. Hey, this is the only way to bet on the bet. Looking OK, Mike? I guess so, Joe. Listen, don't get excited. You just pretend it's a regular workout, see? Of course, don't go forgetting it's a race now. It's sort of, you know, just relax. Yeah, Joe, sure. What's the matter with you? You feeling funny? No. The only reason we want to win is the money, ain't it, Joe? We sure need the money, don't we? We need the money all right. More ways than one. How else do you mean? Well, I wasn't going to tell you because I didn't want to get you upset, but I bet our next ten weeks pay against $2,000 if we win it. Sure, this is awful. All right. I know it's wrong, but I was only trying to do like you always said. The sure thing, Joe, you know. The sure thing. How did you do? The man that owns Mr. Bank has given me $400 to lose the right. What are you talking about? It's terrible, ain't it, Joe? But we needed the money, and like I said... But you're telling me what I said. Shut up. Waiter's up. Come on. Get up there. Look, Mike, I've done some wrong things myself, plenty of them. What you've done is... that's cheating. You see that, can't you? I got mixed up, Joe. I know, Michael. Whatever we do, we can't do anything crooked. We mean too much to each other. There's family and everything. If one of us gets in the jam, why it's going to hurt all of us? What if Mom found out, Mike? I see what you mean. I just didn't have it straight. What you meant about the short thing? It's all my fault. Here I am trying to tell you what's wrong, and I'm out betting yours and Dave's share a 10-weeks pay. You were just trying to make money for all of us. Well, I wish you wouldn't feel that way of mine. Mike, about me, because I'm wrong lots of times, but I gave you this bad steer without meaning to. Maybe it'll be better if you figure these things out for yourself in the future, huh? Whatever you say is okay with me, Joe. All right, then. Now, let's go on out there and win this race, huh? But I already got that $100. Here, I didn't know where to hide it. I'll take care of it. You just go out there and win the race. You'll stick with me if anything happens. You're dying, too. That's swell. You just watch me. We'll show you. How's everything, Joe? Oh, everything's great. Fine. Don't like it if you're sitting up there all alone. Yes, I hope you don't finish that race. Hey, Dave. What? Dave's the... Come here, man. It says it's liable to be troubled if our horse wins. Are you coming out to barn after the race? Why? Well, ringman's paying Mike $400 to lose the race to Mr. Bank, and I just told Mike to go on up and win it. From where in the world? Oh, my fault. Now, he thought he was doing what I'd do. He's trying to get some money for us. Now, look, what's so important about this race? The first money doesn't amount to a hill of beans, and we haven't got any bets. Or have we? Well, yes, Dave, we have. How much? Look, Dave, I hate to tell you this. How much? Well, ten weeks' salary. Ten weeks'... I don't get sore. Don't get sore. I ought to break you a bit. No, I know, Dave. What are you two talking about? Oh, nothing, Mom. I'm nothing at all. We just... We did... Oh... Oh, to the right of the starting gate. It looks like a start. And there they go! Mr. Bank and Funti have a win for the inside. That's the man on the outside. He's got the right win for the outside. Of course, if they're not, I tell you, he's trying to win. I'm gonna cross the sack. Shut up. He won't cross us. If he does, I'll break everybody. They're coming into the stretch. Thanks, Mr. Bank and Funti. They shoved me into the rail, so I shut my eyes. But I won, Joe. Didn't I, huh? That was great work, Mike. Great. Hey, look. There he is, Joe Ringler. He's got a guy with him. Come on. Now, you got nothing to worry about, so you just... just keep going. Hello, kid. Nice race. My brother's gonna give you back your 100. I'll take care of this, Mike. Here, Mr. Ringler. This belongs to you, doesn't it? The next time he gets some extra money, you'll have to find a better way to spend it. We don't go for that. Yeah? That's right. Glad you liked the race. Come on, Mike. Come back here, you little... Hey, let's get along. Grab this guy, Pete. No, you don't. Listen to you. Let me go, let me go. All right, run, Mike, run. Dave, Dave, hold. Shut up. Hey, Mike, where are you? Over here, Dave. Come on, take him. Get in there. Take your hands off that kid. All right, sucker. You ask. All right. Keep after him, Dave. Work on him, boy. Ten of your own cooking. Well, Dave... Dave, I guess we took him over. Yeah. We sure did. Yeah. We sure... Get up. What's the matter with you? What do you want to go and do? Figure this out. We won $2,000 on the best. Uh-huh. That's right. $2,025 on the win. Uh-huh. And $37 that we had saved up before. Uh-huh. That's $7,500,000. $2,462. Oh. Wow. We're millionaires. And you're still earning $100 a week with your music. Oh, that's out. We're quitting tonight. What for? Well, Dave's pulling out to see if he can get set somewhere. And I figured we'd take Uncle Gus East to the big races. We don't need music anymore. I see. Keep moving. That's the ticket. New faces. New places. Mix. Maybe buy another horse, huh, Joe? It's got a big time stable. It's got a bad idea. We'll be in that winner's circle in Kentucky one of these days. Well, suit yourself. You're on your own now. Oh, it's a sense. We're really going to town, huh? Yep. Oh, quick money, Joe. You haven't asked me what I'm going to do yet. What do you mean? Well, you're quitting your music even though it pays you the best steady money you'll ever earn in your life just because you've had one lucky day. Dave's going one way and you're going another. Oh, but with you and Mike. Not with me? Huh? I'm telling you. I've raised the three of you, and I know you'll never amount to anything unless you stick together. Now what happens? David's trying to run away from himself just on account of a little trouble with Martha. And you're going hogwired in a silly business that'll break your platter than a pancake. What if Uncle Gus gets a stomach ache? Got a sick voice. What if he got thin? Even Michael can't talk about anything but resources and tracks and sure things. What's he going to grow up to be? Now, I mean, if you boys work out on your job, I'm working out on this family. Oh, Mom, you're crazy. Thank you. Well, I don't mean you're crazy, Mom. Of course I don't mean that, but we know what we should do, Mom. All right. I'm leaving. Oh, but Mom. Mom, you shouldn't act like that. You need someone to take care of you. I'll take care of myself. Don't worry. Oh, but listen. Maybe we can figure this thing out, Mom. Not the way you're figuring it out. I'm going upstairs and practice. Well, gee, I wonder what's come over her. She sure acts like she means business. Well, I guess there's only one thing to do. Telegram, Miss. Sign here. Oh, thank you. Dear Martha, we and our music are going to stay in Los Angeles. Please come back and marry the four of us. Love, James. I couldn't take all the wealth from Wall Street For a road where nature tries And I calculate I'm worth my way I can live in luck Because I... Here's that, Libby. A new boss? Uh-huh. He's all of three months old. A little too young for the army yet, isn't he? Yes, but the world depends on his life, too. Just the other day, his mother said, Oh, honestly, Libby, you have no idea the time I'm having getting diapers for my offspring. Well, I've combed every store in town, and I still can't get enough. What did you tell her, Libby? Right that the army needs 136 yards of cotton material per year to equip every soldier from his overseas cap to a sock. Now, that's enough to keep three babies well-dressed. So wartime infants just have to get along with less. Hasn't the government done anything about it? Oh, they're even investigating the situation in Congress. But there just doesn't seem to be enough cotton to go around. What's the poor girl going to do? Well, I gave her one tip that'll help her stretch the supply she has. I told her to luxe them so they'll stay soft and comfortable longer. That way she can use the same ones over and over again. Get along with two dozen instead of three. Sound advice, Libby. These days, when so many things babies wear are hard to get, it's extra important to take care of what you have. Use safe, gentle luxe suds for everything that touches his tender skin. Never use harsh soaps that may leave a film of irritating alkali. Lukewarm luxe suds keep babies pretty colored dresses and sweaters new looking longer, too. Use gentle luxe flakes for all babies' things. Here's Mitchell Lysen, our guest producer. As a producer, I'm going to venture a prediction. But in the future, you'll hear a lot about one of the young stars in our cast. Supported by Elizabeth Patterson, Joan Caulfield, and James Dunn. You know, he's shown real promise on our stage tonight. Bing Crosby. Mitch, you think this might open up something from the in the Dr. Gillespie series? Well, Lux has a way of making stars and flakes. You mean, Mitch, that for Crosby there is hope. And for hope is Kelowna. Well, Bing, I can give you some encouragement so far as pictures go. Last time I left this stage, I got a call from Fox to take the part of Johnny Nolan, and a tree grows in Brooklyn. And, Jimmy, when you leave this stage tonight, I hope you get another phone call for his big apart. Just speak for me, too, won't you, Barry? Actually, Mitch Bing doesn't have to worry whether he clicks in radio or pictures. He has other entries. You mean horses, Elizabeth? Oh, Bing's horses are on an interest. They're a liability. Elizabeth means Bing owns part interest in a fighter. Oh, I get it. You mean his company made the great John L. Tell us about the picture, Bing. Well, I'm afraid Mitch people might misunderstand. I wouldn't want to stoop to crass commercialism on this. Well, if that's the way you feel about it. First, if you're going to press me, I might press you. Oh, no, no, no, no. You have a right to your high principles. I bet you have a winner in that picture, Bing. If he hasn't, he's back in that same old betting groove. James, you know I never bet. No? Of course, I occasionally see a chance of parlaying a handful of greenbacks into an acre of lettuce or two. I take bite, I flange, I sail, I go. That's not betting? No, that's double-tip. But tell me, what do you have in the way of a winner on Luxe? Next Monday night, Mitch. Next week, we bring you from 20th Century Fox the story of a great man and a great dream. Alexander Graham Bell. June Dupre and Don Amici. Among the many colorful sagas for America, few have as much suspense and romance as the life of the great inventor who enabled man to speak to his fellow men in every corner of the globe. I wouldn't miss it, Mitch. Thanks and good night. Good night. Good night. Good night from all our thanks. Our sponsors, the makers of Luxe Place, join me in inviting you to be with us again next Monday night when the Luxe Radio Theatre presents Alexander Graham Bell with Don Amici and June Dupre. This is Mitchell Eisen saying, good night from Hollywood. Senior Sinners was presented through the courtesy of Paramount Pictures whose current production is Salty O'Rourke starring Alan Ladd and Gail Russell. Mitchell licensed next picture to be released for Paramount as Kitty. James Dunn appeared through the courtesy of 20th Century Fox. Our music was directed by Louis Silvers. Lynn Crosby appeared through the courtesy of the Kraft Cheese Company. Join in again next Monday night to hear Alexander Graham Bell with Don Amici and June Dupre. It's strawberry time. Now, treat your family to luscious strawberry chiffon pie. Tender, delicate shortcake. Made the spy way. Clip sugar-saving recipes from spy's ad in leading women's magazines for May. And remember that big word for baking and frying success, spy. That's right. Pure all vegetable shortening at its creamy best. S-P-R-Y. Be sure to listen in next Monday night to the Luxe Radio Theatre presentation of Alexander Graham Bell with Don Amici and June Dupre. This is CBS, the Columbia Broadcasting System.