 I2-540V thank you for still keeping us company here at Why No Morning This being on Wednesday where we get to do women crush Wednesday that is WCW and strength of a woman and particularly on this segment of strength of a woman we are tailoring our conversations to both men and women because of course we know empowerment women has been done but we also need to consider that this conversations also need to have men inclusive in them so today we are shifting gears a bit we want to talk about online sexual online sex exploration and social media influence on the young people when was the last time you took a break on social media when was the last time you just put your phone aside and said I just need to take a break from social media when was the last time you posted something on your social media and do you know the mental implication that is the mental health implications on your usage of of social media that is the conversation we are going to be having right now with Juliet Gikunda who is a child psychologist and counselor Karibusana Juliet thank you so much do you have a social media account let's start from there oh my goodness yes how often do you use social media at first I used to be an addict because of course as a teenager you're growing up so many things are happening and you want to post a picture now and then and sometime when you don't get so many likes you used to feel mmm what's not happening yeah but later on as times grow up I don't know how many times do I check unless I'm just viewing something I have a Facebook account I have a YouTube account I don't have an Instagram account you do have a Instagram account no oh my goodness I don't know one time I signed up and then I checked everything that's going up and the next time I just felt you know I don't feel to be here do you know research says that Instagram is the most used application by young people I agree followed by TikTok yes because I was I was reading the statistics and I was like people use Instagram this much there was a time personally I'm not big on Instagram I just perused through to see oh okay but now there was a time I will stay for two weeks without opening Instagram but then again I think with time I don't post a lot but you just go through I just go through to see do I have a TikTok account I don't know I think I do but I don't what I want don't you see yes so what I do I just go through conversations so let me let me let me let me let me let me give you a statistic here that that will actually be I don't know if I should call it interesting amusing because that's the conversation we are talking about so that we it sets the pace for this conversation where is it there was there was statistics I was preview this morning to see the average user yeah here I have it the average user of social media spends at least one hour 22 minutes a day one hour 22 minutes a day and those who use the social no this is the average this is Ulemonya Akotu Chini Akotu so if this is the average user and I spend one hour 22 minutes on social media meaning someone who is spending a lot more time how much time are they using on social media we have people who are in social media for 24 hours or 23 hours depending you are these are these amnakami jobs that you hear people saying they are doing online research they are doing online jobs but literally you come to know there is legit work and there is some other online jobs that are not legit so this person 24 hours they tell you they have to have an internet because there is a tik tok account open you will find someone having three machines of three phones this tik tok open is this open is this open learning at the same time their life depend on that and as you talk about statistic I was going through a research that was done by United Nations on online standards practitioners and they say as we talk at the moment 67 percent of the children from the age of 12 to 17 are only on the social media 67 percent of the children in Kenya 12 to 17 years 12 to 17 years interesting so that means how many children one in or one in let's say like three in five children yes are on social media in every family you find even a child we have already started creating account for our children even when they are very young so let me ask you let's just start this conversation from that point here what is online sex sex exploration wow what a good question because I think now things and are in on involving issues and matters that have already changed so many things have changed and before we used to hear perpetrators of victims from the community lab cases defilement but I see as environments as so many things are changing up and the one is growing up our perpetrators also want to change their ways so if our focus and the technology has focused so much on the technology everything is revolving around technology even our abusers and perpetrators focus on the technology so let's on online sex exploration there's involved where by you find a perpetrator will have a name of a victim let's say this is Juliet Juliet as an account and let's say let's use the name of Joseph Joseph no Juliet and because of the community issues that this person doesn't even want to be well known and even this is a stranger that doesn't know well then able to have it's us just like agrumi called it agrumi whereby you get you get gift you hook up so you have dates by the time you know what is what something is happening because it's us from sex testing and so many other things that comes with you know the social media and some are strangers that are not able to meet but later on because now you hook up in instagram nime ku like kumeni like you know send me your photo some of them become you become so close that even they start asking for your new photos in online sex exploration we have we have was online streaming and this is where it's done in tiktok here the other time government was asking about the burning of the tiktok because you find the children between other teens and the youth just go tiktok in one of these crazy days there's no regulations and live streaming of sex online activities happening there you find a teenager is in form one in form two they're exposing their body that is online sex exploitation and some of them becomes too hard to gather because once the perpetrator is up to you and there's some favors they've been able to give to you money gift dates you're not able to go off because now that is now in blackmailing camps it's either you do what i want or like expose you find there's so many account that will be hacked and so many expressions will be done because you didn't be able to agree on what they had a partner they are the perpetrator i wanted you to do that's sexual exploration now when we talk about social media influence i don't want to assume that everyone knows what social media influence is you know we use the word oh mimini influencer mimini social media influencer especially i have seen a lot of the movies i have been watching i love watching afrosinema and i know oh my god yeah thank you i love watching afrosinema those are good movies and i have seen even directors of films films movies not just um not just uh no you would but all around they are addressing the issue of social media influence because it's it's been a big discussion out here what is social media influence so let's even underline the one the influence there what does one influence means it's something that is able to change who you are your perspective or you are living to a different person you are trying to buy an ideology or an idea that is is not you some are good and some are bad depending on how they positively or negatively affect your life because your positive impacts with the social media and we have negative influence with the social media so this is a society whereby we are living like in a competition if i see glaze is wearing a very nice clothes and clothes shoes that i like i want to be like kwa i want to maintain a certain class like kwa but literally don't i know that maybe despite my small earning grace is earning more even than me we want to maintain a certain social class because our friends has also changed and everything we see on social media sometimes we think it's little and because we want to see a sense of belonging which this happen when there is lack of identity from a self person as in glas usipoji juwa mini nani nanata ka nini that this is me and this is my kapa kapa ability and capability never is the ones you you are easily gone but if you have a self understanding and self awareness who i am you cannot your your character cannot easily be influenced by your standard cannot be easily influenced by some but because our society and the technology and everything that is growing we want to feel a sense of belonging somewhere so we are pushed to want to be like them behind the back loud but literally we know even some of them we don't even know the source of their income so it's become a bit crazy for young people you understand yes and that the greatest challenge we have even because of us the young people and the teenagers as we are growing up like having an organization whereby you see an intern and they tell you i don't want to volunteer i want a job as in nile sasa nikama maiai chemusha maiai kula you get it we want things to be microwave generation thank you but we don't understand that always it's a plosess for grace to be where grace is there was a plosess 14 to be where he is there was a plosess for vera sindika to be where she is is a plosess and there's a cost of what she is paying but the questions happen where now it affects us mentally is are we willing to take their costs you know because there's a lot of sacrifice that these people do the social media inferences behind the curtains that we don't know but we want to live like them but we are not able when we are not able to meet their needs and have that standard then our mentors start getting affected yeah so what are some of the implications of social media on because you deal with children yeah teenagers and young people yeah so as a psychologist what what are some of the impressions or rather what are some of the implications of social media on the self expression and self identity of young people so it has positive and negative attitude on the same on impacting on their life dealing with children um in a positive way there is a way technology is able to open up a sharp mind of a child to be able to learn different things because you're able to let's say for gumbus means it is for so many other things like you see a child who is one year old with with with kakamera on cartoons ongoing by the time they are going to klazua and they are only saying a to zand one to ten you see so if you wonder you a child that is below even two years they have been able to say one to ten and you wonder but it's because of the coco melons the social media influence you know the cartoons and many other so it has a positive impact there are other skills that technology skills and innovation skills that our young people can learn from the social media we are baking classes we have fashion designs we have so many other things that we can learn from the social media and someone is able to gain most of these skills but also we don't forget that also it has a negative side effects mostly for the children when they are so highly exposed like now uh i don't know how perpetrators or the technology i don't know what i can say but they have come up to different sometimes when you find yourself grace on the social media and um your phone is on wi-fi so many haps that popping up and they want you to install and if you're not said to you are you are um as in um ujaya kaila ni ni hako ya not to install any help your phone you find that so many haps are being installed often it's so easy that light now as your pilot even as a pilot i was asking some parents question on monday we have this culture uh i for myself almost caught in that culture we get home and because we are so tired and clays and we don't want the children to disturb us the first thing we do we give them our gadgets hello hello and we're like sika and that teenager or your child was saying a certain kitty or close them self in their bedroom with your phones and they are on the tiktok or the social media i was very shocked yesterday to see um i have a young boy standing too soon and i gave him my phone and i put the koko melon and i went to cook but the time i'm coming back to see what he's doing i found him on tiktok he's not even two he's not even two okay he's one you understand he's one almost two years on 20 januari and i was like wait a minute and then i turn back i clip it i put it to koko melon he's not crying yes at two years at two years i asked what you want he gets the phone i put all the haps back and he's closed it up to where he's seeing the tiktok anafina so he starts crawling funny clips and laughing and i was like wait a minute you're barely two years and you can be able to scroll and find where this hape is and you're comfortably watching it what next so so and the palant we have on the to blame who is to blame because i mean how early is too early to introduce social media to children that the conversation we are having now whole around all the children protection that that how early ya like no you people you're a psychologist you deal with children enlighten us how how is too early to introduce social media to children according to the currently fact that has been done actually and that was the government was burning the use of social media of an opening account to children who are below 18 years or 17 years the minimum age they used to say was 17 years because if you see a research that was done even in uk they say by the time by 2020 2022 1.3 millions of the children in uk have earned their hand the account of the tiktok so let us ourselves let us take it the statistic of kenyans we are so quick like by the time my town is born your town is born you're opening an account for them we have celebrity who have account it's good for them but how far is far because they tend to ask a question that i asked myself buying the curtains and also skin some pollen how often do we monitor our children all our teens all our youth we have them at home that i've done even inform for you've already bought them phones do we monitor what they watch do we monitor when they close their doors and go to those bedrooms what they do do you monitor those accounts it's so funny that i was talking about the apps right now as even achand is using as an account or even watching anything in youtube something will click up something will click up that is even have sex content in it and i was so shocked to see that some of them have games it is a game but it's a sex game you see like it's not a candy clash his is a kufkuzana you see it yes but this is a sex game it's even appealing like an app and i've seen i've seen a child who is seven years bring it in church and i was like what are you doing can i see what you're praying and you see i ask him do you know what you're doing yes he says this man is doing one two three to this a seven year old a seven year old what do we do if this is where we've gotten to what we do we need to put a limit the question we ask ourselves how far is far what are the damage implications let's talk about the current case may i so less to peace they met in social media the luisambo case yeah the instagram and you see the perpetrator was very keen not to reveal his details by the time this person demand for some money from the family is only having a bio that of who is this girl she is 20 years old very young so to go by the time they are meeting is only having all the bio that of this family why is this bio that i found in the social media i like i come to understand why because my mom is this kind of a mom who says top post team whatever you are because we have made it very easy to be trapped to be trapped yeah hi guys niko hapa um kbc hi guys i'm a team all see jam doing what when towards it's become so easy for us every details we leave it on social media even child adoption let me ask you a question what is the need um because i feel like there is an underlying issue for um do you think that young people are seeking approval there is the need for approval thank you and that's why saying the first thing i'm saying when we lack an identity and a self awareness that is now when we are easily influenced by anything comes up because something is broken somewhere from the foundation and to amend it we live in a family setup so we need to say that we are so busy looking for basics needs which is okay the economy is a bit tough for all of us but also do we have time for our children when was the last time maybe as a mother you spend with your teenager and find out what are their challenges we are in the longest holiday with our children did we sit down with them and find out let's talk even about the youth they are done with school let's talk about the high school apart from when the time exams were held as a parent when did the last time did you sit down with them and find out what do you want to do in life we have even i'm praying that i bless the dress con of my dress my choice in that house how well do you know as in kunaile picture to make such that you may find your child is dressing well in the house but buying the cutting order going to what is the culture that we have in pride because when even we look at the Bible it says teach your child the ways of God and even when they go up they will not go astray and even when they go astray grace elitiza point whereby there is a turning point that comes back even as parent as we are growing these children have to become big people in the society and the youth what are the ones that you are speaking do you speak of a mission once these children what are the ones that we speak even to the youths in the church in the house because if this sense of belonging lack and then the society and the influence of the social media find them a sense of belonging hapa kanyumba kuna monyata kiva na mombiuna kapua aki post facebook a kuna comments gapi 20 20 niki dogo handle and 50 a kuna over 300 likes zina mombiuna kapua you're beautiful your dress imeku kapua for kasiaka ita ndawapi enanziakita ndawapi in the social media because that is why she feel only feel appreciate nda so learn if we we cultivate the culture of even telling them you do good before even the post on the social media then you don't need any other affirmation you don't need any other ones by the time even you're shelling it there you're able to know that how can you know i look good yeah you get it i want you to hold on to that yes as we come back to talk about uh the effect of social media on mental health but in the meantime i want us to take a very short break we're coming back with more thank you