 Chapter 23 of Quit Your Worrying by George Wharton James This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. Recording by Gillian Henry How our worry affects others? If worry affected merely ourselves, it would be bad enough. But we could tolerate it more than we do. For it is one of the infernal characteristics of worry that our manifestation of it invariably affects others as injuriously as it affects ourselves. An employer who worries his employees never gets the good work out of them as does the one who has sense enough to keep them happy, good-natured and contented. I was lecturing once for a large corporation. I had two colleagues who spelled me every hour. For much of the time we had no place to rest, work or play between our lectures. Our engagement lasted the better part of a year and the result was that during that period where our reasonable needs were unprovided for we all failed to give as good work as we were capable of. We were unnecessarily worried by inadequate provision and our employers suffered. Henry Ford and men of his type have learned this lesson. Men respond rapidly to those who do not worry them. Governor Hunt and Warden Sims of Arizona have learned the same fact in dealing with prisoners of the state penitentiary. The less the men are worried by unnecessarily harsh treatment, absurd and cruel restrictions, curtailment of natural rights. The better they act, the easier they are liable to reform and make good. Dr. Musgrove in his Nervous Breakdowns tells a story of two commanders which well illustrates this point. In a certain war two companies of men had to march an equal distance in order to meet at a particular spot. The one arrived in perfect order and with few signs of exhaustion, although this march had been an arduous one. The other company reached the place utterly done up and disorganized. It was all a question of leadership. The captain of the first company had known his way and kept his men in good order, while the captain of the second company had never been sure of himself and had harassed his subordinates with a constant succession of orders and counter-orders until they had hardly known whether they were on their heads or their heels. That was why they arrived completely demoralized. End quote. In war, as in peace, it is not work that kills so much as worry. A general may make his soldiers work to the point of exhaustion, as Napoleon often did, yet have their almost adoring worship. But the general who worries his men gets neither their good will nor good work. A worrying mother can keep a whole house in a turmoil from father down to the latest baby. The growing boys and girls soon learn to dread the name of home and would rather be in school, in the backyard playing in the attic at the neighbors or in the streets anywhere than within the sound of their mother's worrying voice or frowning countenance. A worrying husband can drive his wife distracted and vice versa. I was dining not long ago with a couple that, from outward appearance, had everything that heart could desire to make them happy. They were young, healthy, had a good income, were both engaged in work they liked. Yet the husband worried the wife constantly about trifles. If she wished to set the table in a particular way, he worried because she didn't do it some other way. If she drove one of their autos, he worried because she didn't take the other. And when she wore a spring day flowery kind of a hat, he worried because his mother never wore any other than a black hat. The poor woman was distracted by the absolute absurdities, frivolities and inconsequentialities of his worries. Yet he didn't seem to have sense to see what he was doing. So I gave him a plain practical talk as I had been drawn into a discussion of the matter without any volition on my part and urged him to quit irritating his wife so foolishly and so unnecessarily. Some teachers worry their pupils until the latter fail to do the work they are competent to do. And the want of success of many an ambitious teacher can often be attributed to his or her worrying disposition. Remember therefore that when you worry you are making others unhappy as well as yourself. You are putting a damper, a blight upon other lives as well as your own. You are destroying the efficiency of other workers as well as your own. You are robbing others of the joy of life which God intended them freely to possess. So that for the sake of others as well as your own it becomes an imperative duty that you quit your worrying. End of Chapter 23 Chapter 24 of Quit Your Worrying by George Wharton James. This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. Recording by Gillian Henry. Worry versus Indifference. The aim and object of all striving in life should be to grow more human, more humane, less selfish, more helpful to our fellows. Any system of life that fails to meet this universal need is predestined to failure. When therefore I urge upon my readers that they quit their worrying about their husbands or wives, sons and daughters, neighbors and friends, the wicked and the good, I do not mean that they are too hard on their hearts and become indifferent to their welfare. God forbid. No student of the human heart of human life and of the Bible can long ignore the need of a caution upon these lines. The sacred writer knew what he was talking about when he spoke of the human heart as deceitful and desperately wicked. It is deceitful, good never blind people as it does to the inutility, the futility of much of their goodness. A goodness that is wrapped up in a napkin and lies unused for the benefit of others rots and becomes a putrid mass of corruption. It can only remain good by being unselfishly used for the good of others. And to prove that the human heart is desperately wicked, one needs only to look at the suffering endured by mankind unnecessarily, suffering that organized society ought to prevent and render impossible. The parable of the lost sheep was written to give us this needful lesson. The shepherd, when he found one of his sheep gone, did not sit down and wring his hands in foolish and useless worry as to what would happen to the sheep, the dangers that would beset it, the thorns, the precipices, the wolves. Nor did he count over the times he had cautioned the sheep not to get away from its fellows. Granted that it was conceited, self-willed, refused to listen to counsel, disobedient. The main fact in the mind of the shepherd was that it was lost, unprotected, in danger, afraid, cold, hungry, longing for the sheepfold, the companionship of its fellows, and the guardianship of the shepherd. Hence he went out eagerly and sympathetically and searched until he found it and brought it back to shelter. This then should be the spirit of those who have heeded my caution and advice to quit their worrying about their loved ones and others. Do not worry, but do not under any consideration become hard-hearted, careless, or indifferent. Better by far preserve your interest and the human tenderness that leads you to the useless and needless expenditure of energy and sympathy in worry than that you should let your loved ones suffer without any care, thought, or endeavour on their behalf. But do not let it be a sympathy that leads to worry. Let it be helpful, stimulating, directive, energising in the good. Overcome evil with good. Resist evil and it will flee from you. So long as those you love are absorbed in the things that in the past have led you to worry over them. Be tender and sympathetic with them. Surround them with your holy and helpful love. Jesus was tender and compassionate with all who were sick or diseased in body or mind. He was never angry with any, save the proud and self-righteous Pharisees. He tenderly forgave the adulterous women, justified the publican, and never lectured or rebuked those who came to have their bodily and mental infirmities removed by him. Let us then be tender with the airing and the sinful, rather than sensorious and full of rebuke. Is it not the better way to point out the right? Overcome the evil with the good, and thus bind our airing loved ones more firmly to ourselves. Surely our own errors, failures, weaknesses, and sins ought to have taught us this lesson. In the bedroom of a friend where I recently slept was a card on which was illuminated these words, which bear particularly upon this subject. Quote, The life that has not known and accepted sorrow is strangely crude and untaught. It can neither help nor teach, for it has never learned. The life that has spurned the lesson of sorrow or failed to read it a right is cold and hard. But the life that has been disciplined by sorrow is courageous and full of holy and gentle love. End quote. And it is this holy, gentle and courageous love that we need to exercise every day towards those who require it, rather than the worry that frets still more irritates and widens the gulf already existent. So reader, don't worry, but help sympathetically and lovingly and above all don't become indifferent, hard-hearted and selfish. End of chapter 24. Chapter 25 of Quit Your Worrying by George Wharton James. This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. Recording by Gillian Hendry. Worries and hobbies. Though these words are much alike in sound, they have no sympathy one with another. Put them in active operation and they rush at each other's throats far worse than allies and Germans are now fighting. They strive for a death grip and as soon as one gets hold he hangs on to the end if he can. Yet as in all conflicts the right is sure to win in an equal combat. The right of the hobby is absolutely certain to win over the wrong of the worry. Webster defines a hobby as a subject or plan which one is constantly setting off or a favourite and ever-recurring theme of discourse, thought or effort. But the editor of The Century Dictionary has a better definition more in accord with modern thought namely that which a person persistently pursues or dwells upon with zeal or delight as if riding a horse. Are you cursed by the demon of worry? Has he got a death grip on your throat? Do you want to be freed from his throttling assaults? If so, get a hobby the more mentally occupying the better and ride it earnestly, sincerely, furiously. Let it be what it will it will far more than pay in the end when you find yourself free from the nightmare of worry that has so relentlessly ridden you for so long. Collect bugs, old China, Indian baskets, Indian blankets, pipes, domestic implements, war paraphernalia, photographs, butterflies make a herbarium of the flowers of your state collect postage stamps, old books, first editions go in for extra illustrating books pick up and classify all the stray phrases you hear do anything that will occupy your mind to the exclusion of worry and let me here add a thought the more unselfish you can make your hobby the better it will be for you perhaps I can put it even in a better way yet the less your hobby is entered into with the purely personal purpose of pleasing yourself and the more actively you can make it beneficial, helpful, joy-giving to others the more potent for good it will be in aiding you to get rid of your worries he who blesses another is thrice blessed for he not only blesses himself by the act but brings upon himself the blessing of the recipient and of Almighty God with the oft-added blessing of those who learn of the good deed and breathe a prayer of commendation for him in San Francisco there is a newspaper man who writes in a quaint peculiar simple yet subtle fashion who signs himself K.C.B. during the Panama-Pacific exposition one of his hobbies was to plan to take there all the poor youngsters off the streets the news boys, the little ones in hospitals the incurables, the down and outers of the workhouse and purr farm and finally the almost forgotten old men and women of the Amshouses I saw strong men weep with deep emotion at the procession of automobiles conveying the happy though generally silent throngs on one of these occasions and K.C.B. must have felt the showers of blessings that were sent in his direction from those who saw and appreciated his beautiful helpfulness there is nothing to hinder any man, woman, youth or maiden from doing exactly the same kind of thing with the same spirit and bringing a few hours of happiness to the needy thus driving worry out of the mind putting it or the combat so that it need never again rise from the field every blind asylum children's hospital, slum old ladies home, old man's home Amshouse, purr farm, workhouse insane asylum, prison and a thousand other centres where the poor, needy, sick and afflicted gather has its lonely hearts that long for cherishing aching brows that need to be soothed pain to be alleviated and there is no panacea so potent in removing the worries of our own life as to engage earnestly in removing the positive and active ills of others people occasionally ask me if I have any hobby that has helped me ward off the attacks of worry I do not believe I have ever answered this question fully as I might have done so I will attempt to do so now one of my first hobbies was food reform and hygienic living when I was little more than 12 years of age I became a vegetarian and for 9 years lived the life pretty rigorously I have always believed that simpler planar living than most of us indulging more open air life sleeping, working, living out of doors more active physical exercise of a useful character would be beneficial then I became a student of memory culture Professor William Stokes of the Royal Polytechnic Institution became my friend and for years I studied his system of mnemonics or as it was generally termed artificial memory then I taught it for a number of years and evolved from it certain fundamental principles upon which I have largely based the cultivation of my own memory and mentality and for which I can never be sufficiently thankful then I desired to be a public speaker I became a hobbyist on pronunciation enunciation, purity of voice, phrasing and getting the thought of my own mind in the best and quickest possible way into the minds of others for years I kept a small book in which I jotted down every word its derivation and full meaning with which I was not familiar I studied clear enunciation by the hour indeed as I walked through the streets I recited to myself aloud so that I could hear my own enunciation such poems as southeast cataract of l'odor where almost every word terminates in ing for I had heard many great English and American speakers whose failure to pronounce this terminal ing in such words as coming going and so on used to distress me considerably other exercises were the catches such as Peter Piper picks a peck of pickled peppers or Selena seamstitch stitches seven seams slowly surely serenely and slovenly or around a rugged rock a rugged rascal ran a rural race then too, Professor Stokes has composed a wonderful yarn about the memory entitled My M Made Memory Medally mentioning memory's most marvellous manifestations this took up as much as three or four pages of this book every word beginning with M it was a marvellous exercise for lingual development he also had the far-famed fairy tale of Fenella and these were constantly and continuously recited with scrupulous care as to enunciation my father was an old time conductor of choral and oratorio societies and was the leader of a large choir I had a good alto voice and under his wise discipline it was cultivated and I was a certificated reader of music at sight before I was ten years old then I taught myself to play the organ and before I was twenty I was the organist and choir master of one of the largest congregational churches of my native town having often helped my father in the past years to drill and conduct oratorios such as the Messiah, Elijah the creation and so on when I began to speak in public the only special instruction I had for the cultivation of the voice was a few words from my father to this effect stand before the looking glass and insist that your face appear pleasant and agreeable speak the sentence you wish to hear listen to your own voice you can tell as well as anyone else whether its sound is nasal, harsh, raucous disagreeable, affected or in any way displeasing or unnatural insist upon a pure clear natural pleasing tone and that's all there is to it when you appear before an audience speak to the persons at the further end of the hall and if they can hear you don't worry about anyone else later when I had become fairly launched as a public speaker he came to visit me and when I appeared on my platform that night I found scattered around on the floor where none could see them but myself several placards upon which he had printed in easily read capitals don't shout, keep cool, avoid ranting make each point clear don't ramble and so on when I was about 14 I took up phonography or stenography as it is now known this was an aid in reporting speeches making notes and so on but one of its greatest helps was in the matter of analysing the sounds of words thus aiding me in their clear enunciation at this time I was also a Sunday school teacher and at 16 years of age a local preacher in the Methodist church this led to my becoming an active minister of that denomination after I came to the United States and for seven years I was as active as I knew how to be in the discharge of this work in my desire to make my preaching effective and helpful I studied unwirably and took up astronomy buying a three inch telescope and soon became elected to fellowship in the Royal Astronomical Society of England then I took up microscopy buying the fine microscope from Dr. Dalinger president of the Royal Microscopical Society with which he had done his great work on bacilli and which by the way was later stolen from me and I was speedily elected a fellow of that distinguished society a little later Joseph Lecont the beloved geologist of the California State University took me under his wing and set me to work solving problems in geology and I was elected in due time a fellow of the Geological Society of England a society honoured by the councils of such men as Tindall, Murchison, Lyall and all the great geologists of the English speaking world just before I left the ministry in 1889 I took up with a great deal of zeal the study of the Port Browning I had already yielded to the charm of Ruskin whom I personally knew and Carlisle but Browning opened up a new world of elevated thought to me in which I am still a happy dweller in seeking a new vocation I naturally gravitated towards several lines of thought and study all of which have influenced materially my later life and all of which I pursued with a devotion accorded only to hobbies these were, one, a deeper study of nature in her larger manifestations as the Grand Canyon of Arizona the petrified forest the Yosemite Valley the big trees the high sierras with their snow-clad summits glaciers, lakes, canyons, forests flora and fauna the Colorado and Mojave Deserts the Colorado River the Painted Desert and the many regions upon which I have written books two, the social conditions of the submerged tenth which led to my writing of a book on the Dark Places of Chicago which was the stimulating cause of W.T. Stead's soul-stirring book If Christ Came to Chicago Here was and is the secret of my interest in all problems dealing with social unrest the treatment of the poor and sinful and so on for I was chaplain for two years of two homes for unfortunate women and girls three, a deeper study of the Indians in whom I had always been interested and which has led to my several books on the Indians themselves their basketry, blanketry and so on four, a more detailed study of the literature of California and the West and also five, a more comprehensive study of the development of California and other Western states in order that I might lecture more acceptably upon these fascinating themes Here then are some of the hobbies that I've made and are making my life what it is I leave it to my readers to determine which has been the better to spend my hours, days, weeks, months and years in getting my livelihood and worrying or in providing for my family and myself and spending all the spare time I had upon these many and varied hobbies some of which have developed into my life work and I sincerely hope I shall be absolved from any charge of either self-glorification or egotism in this recital of personal experiences at the time I was passing through them I had no idea of their great value they were the things to which something within me bade me flee to find refuge from the worries that were destroying me and it is because of their triumphant success that I now recount them in the fervent desire that they may bring hope to despondent souls give courage to those who are now wavering uncertain and pessimistic and thus rid them of the demons of fret and worry now that I have come to my final words where all my final admonitions should be placed I find I have little left to say I have said it all reader in the chapters you have read or skipped indeed I have not so much cared to preach to you myself as to encourage, incite you to do your own preaching this is by far the most effective permanent and lasting improvement can come only from within a seed of desire may be sown by an outsider but it must grow in the soil of your soul be harboured, sheltered, cared for and finally beloved by your own very self before it will flower into new life for you that you may possess this new life a life of work, of achievement of usefulness to others is my earnest desire and this can come only to its fullest fruition in those who have learned to quit worrying End of chapter 25 End of Quit Your Worrying by George Wharton James