 Hey friends, you're watching behind the scenes divine intimacy radio today. We're gonna be talking about the futility the danger the stupidity I guess of Resisting God's will and the blessing of embracing it. I need that the blessing of embracing it so that you receive his blessings and you're not fighting him and He's suffering without merit Which is an important topic well before we jump back before we get into that I want to tell you about a few things that are going on out there That can help you with your faith in your life. We have a new course Called the mystical wisdom of the Desert Fathers at the Abba Institute one of our favorite professors doctor Michael Gamma if you wanted to expand your wisdom insight into What it means to follow the Lord through the? Eastern Eastern mysticism Desert Fathers that's that's in conformity with the Catholic Church, of course This is this will be a great course. You can check that out at avaladash Institute calm The let's see humble of heart Advent study, which is December 6 13th and 20th, so that starts tomorrow With father Altair, I think yes father Altair is leading that spiritual direction calm forward slash events That to sign up for that What else do we have going on? We have something that's really important. Yeah, what's that especially because the Christmas season is right here It's right around the corner, and that's the divine intimacy and marriage retreat that's coming up in February Oh, we still have seats for that. I didn't know we do and and so guys. This is your opportunity husbands Fathers out there. This is your opportunity to gift your wife something that will be life changing for your marriage life changing for your family And you are one and done for both Christmas and Valentine's Day I'm telling you so go and and go to spiritual direction calm forward slash events and You'll see the divine intimacy marriage retreat. I believe it's the 9th 10th and 11th of February of 2024 2024 it will fill. Yeah, so grab there grab your seats now for your spouse get your housing in order Print that off put a ribbon around it throw it under the tree. You are done and you are golden It'll be the best gift that you give your marriage and your spouse. I promise you this and wives if You're the one listening do this for your husband. Do this for your marriage. This is something you would love to do with your spouse Don't be afraid Don't be afraid ask the question. Hey, would you mind going to to this with me? I promise nobody's gonna make you stand up and share your feelings and sing kumbaya or even hug You know, it's a it's a guys retreat. It's it's a gals retreat We didn't base it on anything else you've ever experienced. It's not just another marriage retreat It is absolutely different than anything else out there Catholic mystical tradition is the foundation. Yep, come and join us and honestly, I wish we could get up all the All the feedback on it that's been so amazing. I wish we could capture it and put it all up We've we've we need more marketing people to do this. Yeah. Yeah is what we need So it's for and it's for pre-marrieds Marrieds married who are struggling in marriage. We're doing well all We've had everybody from 18 year olds to 80 year olds At all different levels of the marriage. So great I think That will do it for right now. We'll we'll tell you about a little bit more of what's going on at the first break but let's go ahead and jump in on On your mark get set go Welcome to divine intimacy radio. This is Dan Stephanie and Jordan Burke that the I don't know I almost said holy trio and I Thought that were radio haven of rest blah blah blah. You want me to do that? Don't we have to normal? I thought we had to I was gonna do that But I sort of got caught in this thought that I thought I shouldn't say that because we're not all that holy Which is we're trying to be all right. Well, you are I'm sorry I have no idea what you're talking about. Okay start over All right, we'll start over that's why it's behind the scenes right right and your market set go welcome to divine intimacy radio Your radio haven of rest your hermitage of the heart your monastery of the mine Where we lift our hearts and minds to heaven to draw upon the wisdom of the saints to help us to navigate the tumult of this life and today I'm happy to be with Stephanie and Jordan our son to talk through This great work by St. Alfonso Seguri. It's my latest book But it's really mostly written by Alfonso Seguri. I just write the reflections and try to help readers understand some of the archaic language or ideas or not stumble on This Alfonso's style. There's nothing wrong with the content of the doctrine, but the style can be a little difficult at time So I wanted to get this book out. I really it's Jordan's fault that it got into my hands in the first place because he read it when he was going through a very dark time in his life and it's an originally was just a letter to someone that Alfonso's was caring for spiritually and Unfortunately because of that the books don't have a spline. They sort of disappear their little booklets. I thought this needs wider coverage and so I More than doubled the size of the book in terms of the reflections So that it wouldn't disappear into bookshelves and people could go deeper into the wisdom of Laguri, so it's called Finding Peace in the Storm Reflections on St. Alfonso Seguri's Uniformity with God, God's will and I promise you if you pick it up and read it it will change your life and your perspective and and it really even this book has become a mainstay in terms of Formation in the community of a possibly VA. It's a required Reading now in terms of understanding the sovereignty of God and coming to peace. So Excited to jump in today. So today we're we're focused on We're not reading the book to you chapter 4. God's God wills are good and This is a challenge, you know, one of the one of the ways that we Are willing to trust and submit to the advice the direction the guidance of another is If they we know they will our good, you know, so the people I listen to the most in my life although my wife would Dispute this is my wife and my son in particular there are two people because They I know they will my good and your director my spiritual director. Yeah, I know that for a fact Yeah, I know that for my spiritual director. Yeah. Yeah, so I know they will my good But this is a barrier for a lot of people. Yeah, is is trusting that One we know the circumstances we're in are either allowed or caused by God, right? Trusting that he wills are good which allows us to rest in it Even though we don't like it because the presumption is it doesn't feel good. So I mean, I'm curious like from you Jordan you stuff what has hindered your trust in in the past that you've had to overcome to Related to how you relate to God in terms of He's willing your good in this and so you can rest in it. I mean, what what are the common barriers you guys think to this? Well, there's lots of barriers, but you know What what hindered me I think the primary thing and it kind of depends on whatever your Your primary sin is like your your predominant fault I'll just state it here. I think I'm in good company, but my my predominant fault is pride, right? And so what is the Lord? What's the Lord's desire for me then that I reach the perfection of humility? Because if my root sin is pride He wants the opposite for me because that's his design for me. That's where my battleground is and that's hard, you know, so What has happened is I have received humiliations after humiliations after more and in every moment that that happened then I had to get to the point where I was understanding and Then ultimately get to the point where I would thank God for that humiliation. It hurts. It stings. It's it's painful but ultimately the Lord wants me to receive it To be humbled to underneath it and then to respond in thanksgiving and love and It's it's extraordinarily hard. In fact, I want if I could I know we're not reading the book folks But I would like to share this in relation to what I just shared because I think it's so important And it says the supreme folly of those who resist the divine will of God, right? It's it's folly to resist it in God's providence. No one No one can Can escape hardship? Who resists as well a person who rails at God in adversity suffers without merit? Moreover by his lack of resignation He adds to his punishment in the next life and Experiences greater disquietude of mind than in this life. I Mean it when it really gets down to it. Who are we railing against in our circumstances? It isn't the other person. It's not the trial. It's not what's happening. It's ultimately against God Yeah, it's against God because we're saying you know what I don't like your will I don't like your it doesn't feel good. This doesn't feel good. It hurts Stop it. Let me just go and act like a petulant child and fight against this and think that I'm actually gonna change you Lord Right, I'm gonna force you to conform to my will and make this feel better. Yeah, and and I mean we've all seen Toddlers throw a hissy fit. I once watched Ariel get so mad in a Walmart Our daughter she yeah that she held her breath and turned blue and and she was mad Right and I I got down on my knees and I you know, I'm just like what's going on with you But it was at that moment. She didn't like here and no now she's too When you're 54, it's no longer pretty It's no longer cute, you know, nobody's gonna hug you and say it's okay, darling You know, everything's gonna be okay. Mommy's here. That's not gonna happen So, I don't know if I think we have to understand that who we're ultimately railing against is against the Lord Yeah, you know, so and I want to go back to the original question for you. Yeah, because Everything you said is dead on the there's psychological barriers To the way we think about God that are formed in our life That hinder us from having that instinct of trust. So I don't know Well, the big thing for me and you kind of touched on this but to put it in kind of a layman's terms is The misunderstanding because I had to go through correcting my understanding. I had a misunderstanding that all Suffering is all bad and has no purpose. That's a lie And that's the predominant lie of our culture, right society all suffering is all bad and has no purpose right, but when you but I mean you can take that argument on its own and Compared to what we know about God outside of this book Just what we know from scripture. Yeah, and that it doesn't stand up to that, right? It's like, well, what are we reading scripture? God is a good father Yeah, you know who why would he give you a snake when you you know that was that Matthew? I forgot what yeah, it's in the Bible right scripture. So that argument doesn't stand up, right? So then you have to ask yourself a deeper question. Okay. Well if God is good Then why would this be allowed to happen? It can't be that it has no purpose It can't be that it's all bad and that's where we find the answer in this book Which is exactly what you just said. So, you know, there's there's a purpose. Yeah God may not will this for you necessarily even may permit it or whatever But there's a purpose and there's good that's gonna come from this But that's the initial barrier that most people I see they're kind of banging their heads against the wall, right? So that's an intellectual barrier that can be overcome by and in this Alphonsus in this chapter Repeats over and over believe think this way believe this way affirm these things So that you begin to combat the lie in your head Well, I want to go to answer the question I've been asking you to and just to be really transparent with my own difficulties and why I've had to study this topic Very deeply for a long time is I experienced nothing but betrayal From the core people in my life as a child every single one of them And I hate to say this even my own father my own blood father who was a good man But he was a workaholic his dad was an alcoholic. So we play replace that with work You know, he would say I'm coming to get you and I was you know being tortured in one place In terms of like emotionally and I'm dying to leave and he doesn't show up and I'm my hopes are dashed, right? So so so that was the worst of what he did. I mean, he was a good man But the others were like actively so we had a gun fired in my home We had, you know beatings and hospitalizations emergency room stuff like violence and so When you live in that context of betrayal greater or lesser and I was a sensitive kid I mean, I'm not, you know, I'm not I'm I became tough But you know if you're a sensitive kid in a far less abusive environment, you can pick up these messages like The ones who are above you so ie God are not trustworthy. They're not safe They're not safe. They're not safe. And so you enter into like a dark circumstance Yeah, and what happens you're overwhelmed with I There's no way out that and then the devil speaks to you, right? This will never end. You'll never overcome this sin You're never gonna be happy. You're always gonna be sick. There's no purpose for this and then the ultimate message I heard at 20, you know 1920 years old You need to end your life because this isn't you can't escape this, right? And then the re the whole reprogramming God be praised coming to Jesus Coming to hope and then studying and immersing myself in this began to gave give me a Sense of just slowly over time. Yes. He is trustworthy. No, the other she wasn't gonna drop Wow, he is working all things together for good. He is healing me, you know Yeah, and I think back to your to your core question against is is what are those Circumstances and whether it's the abuse of parent the divorce where you feel abandoned, right? Your parent leaves if there's the horror of Death untimely death Just all kinds of things that happen in our in our lifetime We can look at that and and we're going like, you know, where were you Lord? Yeah, where were you in this? Where were you in this? Where were you in this circumstance when my dad walked out the door? Where were you when I was being paraded and and and and spiritually abused emotionally abused physically abused Where were you when my mom was drunk on the floor? Right and you know where where were you in these things and and so we can look at that and we can go God was absent. He was absent But but he's not He didn't cause the sin. He didn't will the sin. He didn't desire the sin We chose that in the garden or they the day we in the in the garden of eating sure right the ultimate Yeah, so I think when we come back From the break, you know, let's let's talk about these barriers to how do we get from being able to accept that? To to get to the point of even being willing to look at the brokenness in our lives and say How is that affecting my ability to accept God's will and where was God the question you asked? Yeah, in the middle of all that storm. Yeah, when we didn't we didn't see him. We'll be right back All right, so before we jump back into the to show want to tell you about a few other things that are Can help you out spiritually one is we have new homeschooling courses at the Aval Institute for the Last year of homeschool the hardest year for homeschoolers typically in parents And if you want to learn about that head out to spiritualdirection.com forward slash homeschool Mary Queen of the Home Academy And when those do it's a brand new offering that'll come this winter So if you want more information on that then the last thing I'll tell you about we'll jump back into the show is We have a new YouTube page and it's dedicated to helping you to deepen your Union with God to learn the things like we're talking about now It's called Dan Burke on the way of contemplation. I'd love for you to head out there Dan Burke on the way of contemplation and Sign up and share it and help us to spread the word. We created the page Real quick. He said sign up. It is free. It is free. It doesn't click to subscribe Just click subscribe and share but it's it's it's it's a way We're just trying to break through some of the algorithms and do some different things to get the word out that we we already do spiritualdirection.com has a YouTube page as well, but love to have you out there and tell me what you think about the content and Dan Burke on the way of contemplation is the YouTube page So we'll head right back into the show and your market set go welcome back to divine intimacy radio Dan Stephanie and super J Jordan Burke St. Wave extraordinaire. What's that shirt you're wearing same way it's from a company called same way To St. Wave they make some of the best Catholic Awesome, it's great. So before the breaks Stephanie was talking about How do we get past these barriers? I don't know if you want to jump right back in and well I think it's really important that we consider that those barriers are so often the wounds that we experience Growing up, you know, if in my case if my biological father was not a safe place for me Mm-hmm, and we know that we often You know, we we transpose that to who God the father is right, right? Then then God's not safe, right? And I don't even know that I'm making that decision in my brain, right subconsciously But I've learned that from a little kid and that's why I think healing is so important, you know, because you have to Delt if you if you want to get where God is calling you I don't think there's any other way than dealing with where you came from Well, and what are you rendering that to the Lord? Just coming to grips with your past your childhood with with the circumstances of how you grew up What was expected of you how you retreated the circumstances of your life and your home life and how it How you transitioned and your own bad decisions, you know, all of that You know, I I spend the majority of my time in deliverance work or spiritual direction this is the bread and butter of that work of How do I reconcile all this junk and these these wounds inside with me with My desire for God But often my own ability to accept his will for me. Yeah, right? I have to deal with those with those questions so to to Jordan's experience and Nobody can figure out who your mother is who your birth mother is through this and you've given freedom to talk about certain things But you had you had some pretty deep trauma with that situation Did that affect your ability to accept the goodness of God? Do you think? I mean, I you know, that's a great question. I'm sure that on some subconscious level When we're talking about safety and trust and you know, quote-unquote authority figures God in this case I'm sure that that had some impact Though I think I came to realize pretty quickly and that's what this chapter specifically gets into which is You know, we can say all these things which are good and true But the the issue is that people are gonna hear them and they're gonna say, yeah, I should do that But they put it off the reality is and what I came to understand is that was really powerful Well, let me break through these things is well, what happens when when you reject these things What happens when you start fighting back against these terrible occurrences that you might be experiencing? And the reality is when you reject them and you respond to them poorly You're rejecting God's will right and that's that's what we open with this whole And then you're suffering without Mary then you're then you have then you're sinning in a sense, right? You're sinning let's just say it and then you're paying the price for that sin Right, and you're sort of just staying in the cycle of sin and suffering and nothing heals and the wounds get deeper, right? Yeah, yeah, can I can I quote St. Augustine here? Yeah, yeah, that's Santa Fonz's does where's which page? We're on page 52 Top of the page I mean this like encapsulates all of this, right? So say and this is St. Augustine speaking little man Grow up What are you seeking in your search for happiness? Seek the one good that embraces all others Who do you seek friend if you seek not God seek him find him Cleave to him bind your will to his will with bands of steel and you will live always at peace in this life And in the next God wills only our good God loves us more than anybody else can or does love us His will is that no one should lose his soul that Everyone should save and sanctify his soul Not willing that any should perish But that all should return to penance which is a this is the will of God your Sanctification, and that's a direct quote from the New Testament I want to go on and the next piece is very good too. God has made the attainment of our happiness his glory Since he is by his nature infinite goodness and since the st. Leo says goodness is generous in self-giving God has a supreme desire to make us sharers in his goods And his happiness, and I think this gets down to it is that are ununder To Jordan's point our understanding of happiness is is Misconstrued it's it's not the absence of difficulty Happiness peace joy is not the app is Absence I'm having trouble talking today The absence of trials difficulties challenges It's rather our will being united to his will brings peace Yeah in the midst of storms finding peace in the storm. Oh wait, there's a theme, right? There's a theme here that our will united to the Lord's will is what brings us Freedom true freedom, and that's what brings the ultimate peace and joy, you know I'm still wrestling with with all this is I'm just I'm the guy out there going yeah, but You know how you're not you keep you're exhorting me. This is Liguri. You're exhorting me to not rail against his will You're exhorting me to you know look at things differently, but I'm like raw as hell Right like the old me Like I've been had the snot beat out of me meaning I walk into the room. I have bruises head to toe Right, and you're going Embrace this and I'm going You're crazy like I I want to But did you see what just happened to me? You know and so I think that's the difficult That's the struggle I have with this. I totally believe it This has transformed me and and what I've had to do is listen to it over and over I mean I listened to sacrament of the present moment the recording For years of that book I read every translation of that bite by jumpy or decos odd which is the same basic message But I'll find this is harder hitting But I think this the secrets are in the book by the way we're talking about them through this show But I just don't want to miss Those people out there going you don't know what I've been through and my answer is yeah, maybe So you don't know what we've been through, but it's not necessarily helpful But I you know it's this isn't a great answer, but it is an answer Which is what other option do you have? It's a good answer. I mean, it's really black and white Right. It's either you're gonna continue to cycle down with those wounds, right? You're gonna get worse and you know or you can seek a higher purpose You can follow what's clearly laid out in Scripture and the doctors of the church and these other things So so I do I do have a not an exhortation Necessarily, but it's the advice of St. Teresa of Avila. Yeah, and she says that through the entirety of our lives We should meditate on the passion. Yes. Now you're getting somewhere. This is good, you know, if we think about Why would God allow this, you know all this stuff? Can we only just look at his own son, right? Yeah, he didn't avoid the cross. Now you didn't avoid the scourging the the berating, you know I had this moment Years and years ago when I was first going through my purgation We were married newly married. We're trying to figure out how to make this work and like all of hell is Breaking up inside of me and coming out like almost through my pores. Yeah, I remember as I'm As I'm going to prayer every day and I'm working with my spiritual director and all that, you know It was just so difficult the purging. It was painful. It was hard. It was ugly. It was messy You know, and then I had Jordan It's like throwing a hand grenade into a barrel of gasoline Yeah, the Lord says, okay, you want to be pure you want to be holy here? I'm gonna give you the circumstance go for it girl Um, so anyway, you know, I'm I'm praying the litany of the of humility and I am focusing on the passion of christ, right Letting of humility over and over again And I at the end of it of this 40 days of praying this I had this huge breakthrough And I won't go through all the circumstances But there was a circumstance That drove me to my knees and what I wanted to do Was take my kids because you and I are the Brady Brady bunch So I wanted to grab Ariel and our and my youngest And I want to put it put them in my car Pack my bags put them in the back of the car and drive away. I made a terrible mistake. Why did I do this? What a mess this is, you know Nothing's going the way that I think it should go and everybody's just lost their mind, right? And so I'm so I I'm saying nothing so I go the route of prudence I keep my mouth shut and instead I go to prayer And I pull out that humility prayer If you want to be transformed pray the humility prayer Litany of humility the litany of humility. Yep until the lord breaks through And at that that prayer I slowly read through it And I felt like a volcano was going off in my in my gut in the core of my being And I started to tremble head to toe. I'm shaking that prayer in my hands Like I'm trembling because the rage in me is coming through every pore And as I'm praying it the prayer as I get to the end I'm shaking so hard and I'm grasping it so hard that the the paper rips and it rips into three pieces The lord breaks through I find myself Experiencing the road to Calvary. I can smell the dirt the sweat. I can hear the cursing I am experiencing the lord walking by he's dragging his cross behind him. He's bleeding from every pore My lord and my god is carrying my cross my sin on his back in front of him And what I hear is and he loved them Despite what they were doing to him anyway, he loved them No, he just loved them. Yeah, not anyway. He just loved them No matter what they were doing to him He loved them and he was doing that for them And then I realized that's my sin And he loves me Yeah And if he can do that for me, can I not allow this scourging that's purifying me To transform me and transform my family Can I not withstand this for love of him? Yeah And so I didn't leave and I went up to you And we reconciled and it was transformative in our marriage. It was a moment where everything changed huge grace huge grace and so the secret really Is immersing ourselves in the humanity of jesus and the suffering of jesus and recognizing what he did for us instead of Saying oh, how how could you do this to me and we're impure? We deserve hell Wait, how could we do that to him? changes the whole Flips the whole narrative on its head You know and and makes us it turns us to gratitude It turns us it turns us to toward humility. It turns us to toward acceptance But that's the ultimate answer. I was looking for At the from the beginning when I started asking this question. How do you How do you face these things when It's gaining that perspective of what god did for us in him turn your eyes upon jesus look full in his wonderful face And the things of earth will grow strangely dim In the light of his glory and grace with that You've been listening to divine intimacy radio talking about finding peace And the storm reflections on st. Alphonse's lagerty lageries great work uniformity with gods will pick it up Designed to work in small study groups. I got questions that you can use very powerful It'll change your life And until next time may the god of peace make you perfect in holiness May he preserve you whole and entire spirit soul and body You're reproachable at the coming of our lord jesus christ amen All right