 Sometimes we just got to swallow our pride and ask for help. What is up everybody? This is Chris from the Rewired Soul where we talk about the problem but focus on the solution and welcome back to another video. With this week we are diving into the topic of how to be a better person and today the problem that we face is our pride and the inability to get humble or the inability to surrender and realize that we can't do this thing on our own and that we need help. Whether that's your mental health or just other aspects of your life we got to buckle down and just tell ourselves like it's okay to ask for help and I used to struggle with this a lot. So if you know somebody out there who is suffering and it's because they aren't asking for help please do me a favor and share this video with them or just share it on social media in general so people understand that it's okay and it's to their benefit to just ask for help. So from my experience I never asked for help. I never asked for help and it's important to kind of like analyze your life and your upbringing or your childhood and realize like what led to this. How did you get into this place where you don't like asking for help right? So for me being the child of an alcoholic mom and kind of having to raise myself like I had to do everything on my own right and even if I asked my mom for help she was too drunk to help me with anything. So from a very young age I learned how to handle my business you know what I mean and that carried on through middle school through high school and at the age of 17 I left. I left home I went out started working full-time started providing for myself then when I was 23 years old and my girlfriend got pregnant with my son I worked full-time I made the money she was a stay-at-home mom and I provided so everything that I needed I provided for myself it was all me and you know part of this was too I didn't like asking for help because people constantly let me down. Why even ask for help when people are gonna let you down? I was very very pessimistic I was even nihilistic I was just in a dark place I wanted to do it was me against the world it was me against the entire world and then when my son was born and my girlfriend was there you know it was like us against the world right? Like I don't need nothing from nobody now this isn't necessarily a bad quality but we all get to a point where we hit that brick wall we hit a brick wall and it takes a lot of us some time to just admit like this isn't working the way I'm trying to do it I can't do this by myself I need to ask for help so the first thing I want to talk about is what what I struggled with I was surrounded by people who let me down now if you watched my last video and if you haven't go watch it next it's about getting better friends okay it's about getting rid of the toxic friends getting better friends see I was causing my own problem I was surrounding myself by flakes I was surrounding myself by people who wouldn't come through for me I surrounded myself by people who wouldn't help me out if I needed it but as I started to start hanging out with like better people better people who are very selfless other people who live a life of like altruism when I started surrounding myself with those types of people I started seeing that people would help me out even if I didn't ask for it you know what I mean and like a lot of this had to do with my pride I remember when I was first starting off on this mental health journey I was flat broke I had like three pairs of clothes no money my mom was giving me a 40 dollar a week allowance right like I had nothing and my friends would like want to take me out to the movies or take me out for coffee and I remember one day I just snapped I just snapped I'm like no I don't want you to pay for me I don't want you to keep paying for me like I felt so guilty and ashamed and I felt like I'm not a man I felt all these things and the reality is is that it was my pride right like my friends were were trying to do these things for me to just help me out and not wanting anything in return and one of my friends like broke it down for me and they're like and he's like Chris like don't feel like you're indebted to us like we want you to come because we like hanging out with you like they were almost like paying me to hang out with them you know but that's not something I was used to I used to surround myself with people who only kept me around because they wanted something you know whether it was money a place to say uh maybe it was back in my addiction days where they wanted you know drugs or alcohol or something like that I wasn't used to people just wanting to be around me for me you know what I mean so this is another reason why you gotta find better friends you know but as time goes on you know I had to keep asking for help and the first thing is just getting honest with people see my depression works in this crazy way right well I'm great at putting on this plastic smile walking around smiling being all upbeat and stuff like that but on the inside I'm dying right then I have this brain that tells me why doesn't anybody ask me how I'm doing why doesn't anybody ask me if I need help why doesn't anybody be there for me right well they're not psychic they're not telepathic they can't read my mind so I had to learn this and this is what I want to teach all of you close mouths don't get fed I just started going up to my friends my close inner circle people who I trusted and saying like yo I'm hurting today is a bad day today is a rough day and sometimes they didn't have the right words to help me out but the fact that they were there to listen meant the world to me so start getting honest with the people around you and say yo I'm struggling right now I need help I need assistance I just need you to be there I need you I need somebody in my life to just tell me that everything's going to be okay all right and like we have to humble ourselves we have to get rid of the pride and the ego the ego is that voice that inner narrator in our head that uses the word should all the time or shouldn't I shouldn't need help I should be able to do this on my own I should should should should should all these other things that's our ego talking and we need to break down those barriers and just get vulnerable and open up and ask for help like I work in the addiction field you know what I mean and I tell everybody anybody who is in that room anybody who is at my facility like they made such a crucial first step by just picking up the phone and calling somewhere and saying yo I can't kick this addiction on my own so even if you're not an addict in recovery or an addict trying to get clean if you're struggling with anxiety depression PTSD bipolar borderline personality sort of whatever it is talk to somebody I know a lot of you reach out to me on Instagram or Twitter or on Facebook or you email me and that's awesome but sometimes I get a little busy like the channel's growing my social media is growing and I try to get back to everybody as soon as possible I'm a little behind right now but like start finding more and more people like I always say this you don't got to dance with everybody but you got to dance with somebody I might not be that somebody for you but find somebody that you trust right but this only works for a little while you got to start to broaden and cast a wider net you need to get more people in that support group more people you can turn to and ask for help the last thing I will say on this subject is though don't use and abuse people don't only call people when you need help okay like I talked about in the last video about uh getting better friends you got to be a better friend too okay start having mutual relationships based on providing value to one another and when I say value I mean like emotional support to one another call your friends up ask them how they're doing like one of the reasons that I realized nobody called me to ask me how I was doing is because I wasn't doing it when I started calling more people and asking them how they're doing more people started calling me or texting me and asking me how I'm doing it's crazy how that works so don't use people don't manipulate people don't use what I'm saying as this weird kind of thing to borrow money um like don't wreak havoc in your life and then go begging for help like don't cause problems that make you need to ask for help but life circumstances always come up things happen um so real quick last story like last night I was gonna make a video right when I was about to make a video my power went out boom and I thought it was gonna be up and the local Nevada Energy kept saying it's gonna be up it's gonna be up and it wasn't and like it was burning hot in my house I live in Las Vegas it's the summer it's the desert right but like I was I was about to ask my girlfriend if I can go over there and just like spend the night you know and ask for help you know I don't need to prove myself as a man and that and that and that right but anyways the only reason I didn't go over there is because I kept saying the power was gonna be back on but it took three hours instead of like an hour but anyways don't be afraid to ask for help humble yourself and sometimes this help is professional help there's nothing to be embarrassed about by getting professional help and some of you who have been around here you know that this channel is supported by better help online therapy if you like to check that out go ahead and check out the link in the description or in the comments and basically it's affordable online therapy you fill out a questionnaire about your past your struggles with mental illness and it matches you up with a therapist or a counselor who are licensed and you can start getting your counseling done today all right so check that out if you need professional help and again please do me a favor and share this video share this video with people so they know that it's okay to ask for help all right but anyways if you like this video please give it a thumbs up and if you are new here I'm always making videos to help you out with your mental and emotional well-being click that little round subscribe button and a huge thank you to everybody supporting the channel over on patreon and if you would like to help me spread a message of hope for anybody struggling with mental illness you can click or tap on that patreon icon right there all right thanks so much for watching be humble get rid of that pride and ask for help and I'll see you next time