 You're listening to highlights from The David Feldman Show, heard nationwide on Pacifica Radio, or as a podcast on iTunes, Stitcher, and now YouTube. Please subscribe to this channel. For more information, go to davidfeldmanshow.com. Thank you for listening. The David Feldman radio program is made possible by listeners like you. You sad pathetic humps. The David Feldman Show. Larry Bubbles-Brownholz, the record for longest gap between Letterman appearances. I believe it's 22 years. 21 years. He's starring in two movies. Three still standing, which is streaming on Amazon right now. It's a documentary about comedy in San Francisco. His latest movie is Hey Monster, Hands Off My City. This philini-inspired comedy film directed by Michael Min features a large comic cast and stars San Francisco comedians Johnny Steele, Reggie Steele as SFPD, homicide detectives who find half-eaten bodies turning up all over San Francisco. Welcome back to the show, Larry Bubbles-Brownholz. Big, big acting career. You got to make changes in life, right? As we approach our 80s, I am looking forward to a big acting career. Well, you were picked by several directors. I was picked by C-Pholyn Parker and Birdie. When were you picked to be in Birdie? How many years ago was that? That was 84. That was God, that was unbelievable. When that movie runs, they just have a close-up of me. I don't have any lines or anything, but every time that movie runs, I get calls. Were you in Birdie? What movies have you been in? I've been in The Kite Runner, picked by Mark Forrester, who's kind of a big director. Yeah. I had three lines in that. And that's it. Really? The Kite Runner, Birdie. Robin didn't put you in any movies? No. Son of a bitch. Yeah, let's spill the dirt on that guy. Dana didn't put you in any movies. Dana's not in movies anymore, I know. Your friends never put you in movies, you know that. And they can't. Why not? Because they don't even have the, you know, the directors and casting people do that. They don't want to get involved in fighting over a little bit part in a movie. And what good is having a movie, being in a movie, if you can't wave it in front of your friends, have them smell it and then deny it to them, right? Look at the back end I got on this one. Let's talk about Three Still Standing. It's directed by Robert Campos and Tim Didion. It started out as a series of interviews with David Feldman back in 2010 about comedy. See, I didn't see this is the part I'm missing. I knew you were originally going to be in it. This is the story of my life. I was going to be in a movie, a documentary about San Francisco comedy. And they filmed me. I was working a club in San Francisco. And then I started introducing them to all these other comics. And suddenly I end up on the cutting. And we like these guys better. Am I even in the movie? Uh, you are. I think there's a still picture of you. Really? Uh-huh. I cannot get in a documentary. You know Eddie Pepitone? Mm-hmm. I'm not saying I'm responsible for Eddie's career. I have nothing to do with Eddie's career. But I was one of the first people to exploit him and use him and ring him dry. I was one of the first people to say, hey, this guy is really funny. I should try to build my career off his sweat. So now he doesn't return your call. Well, yeah, they did a documentary called The Bitter Buddha about him. And they, yeah, they filmed all over my radio show at KPFK. I fed the director and I opened up my heart and my blood and all these people. They filmed, filmed, filmed all the sketches we're doing, my interviews with Eddie. I'm completely cut out of the documentary. He didn't make the final cut. I didn't make the final cut. Tim Diddy and Robert Campos, they start filming me. We had some tough decisions. What? We had some tough decisions. He didn't make the final cut. It's pretty amazing the number of documentaries Gilbert Godfrey. I traveled all over the city with Gilbert in a cab. We were laughing hysterically. They're filming everything. Oh, good. This is good. I'm opening up. I'm crying in front of the camera. I'm talking about how important Manhattan is to me. This will get into the documentary. I made up some stories about health issues and mental illness. I mean, I'm in the Gilbert stock. Nothing. Nobody's interested in me. It's been a cruel life and a cruel kick in our ass, I think. I can't get in a documentary. I think I've shot 10 documentaries in the past five years. Nothing. I couldn't even get in a documentary about David Feldman. But you, people see Larry Bubbles Brown. They instantly walk up to you and say, you'd be great in my movie. You'd be great on my television show. The number of people who've walked up to you, I've been standing next to you and people from the Tonight Show, from Letterman, from movies, walk up to you and say, hey, give me your phone number. I think you'd be great in this project. And then, of course, 90- And nothing ever happened. And nothing. You were there the comedy day 84 when TV was big and the guy from the Tonight Show came up to me. Jim McCauley. Jim McCauley. The late Jim McCauley. Yes. You'd be great. Get our, we get our hopes up. It's like the beautiful woman that smiles at us and then we find out she's a hooker. And a man. You know Louie Katz? Louie, no. Great comic. He's got this great joke. He said Mark Twain said, the hottest woman I ever fucked was a man in San Francisco. Okay. First of all, that's so funny on so many levels. And I realized, first of all, I realized Twain didn't say that. It's a play on the hottest, what was it? The coldest winter I ever spent was. Was it summer in San Francisco? You got to know that line. Who would get that? I didn't even get that. I didn't think about that. It's hysterical. Who's Louie Katz? Louie, he's been around for a while. He's a very funny comic. He, I met him like 50. He used to book a one-nighter in Berkeley. Now he's back in New York. He's great. I think he works with a towel a lot. Well, I have to check him out. What's happened to the San Francisco scene? Let's talk about three still standing, because it features Johnny Steele and Will Durst. It's about an 8x10 of you. Am I? There's an 8x10 of me. Yes. And it's going to be, it's actually going to be on KQED Friday. KQED, the local PBS station. Right. Oh, we, we've had a love affair with, with that PBS affiliate, haven't we? So close to comedy tonight. Oh, I did comedy tonight. You did it. Yeah. With whoopee. With whoopee? You loved you. Yeah. She's going to put you in movies. I kept calling. She gave me her number. She loved me. And she said, here's my number. And I kept calling and nothing ever happened. She was going to get me in. I know what it was that we can't mention names. Okay. We cannot mention names because I don't want to get anybody in trouble. And this was years ago. This was the late 80s. 88. 88. So I do comedy tonight on PBS, which was a big thing back then, right? TV was big. And yeah, I was very. We all loved to get that. It was a locally produced comedy show. By Frank Zamacona. Frank, the great Frank Zamacona. They had replaced a friend of ours as hosts. They decided to go big. It was locally produced, but they decided Whoopee Goldberg should host it instead of our friend. And our friend said to me, don't do it. They fired me. And I said, the only reason I was asked to do it is to rub it in your face. There are a million comics in San Francisco. I'm just starting out. I'm not going to mention the guy's name. He said, well, I want you to be loyal to me. And I said, loyalty, of course, but this is an opportunity for me to be on a national comedy show hosted by Whoopee Goldberg. And he kept saying, don't do it. Be loyal to me. Uh, but I did it. Was I disloyal? You got to take the opportunity. Yeah. They fired me. Right. And I'm gaining from that because they hate you so much. They want to take your prodigy and put them on the show. Firing you is not enough. Who's your best friend? Don't you think that's why they asked me? Did we put your ex-wife on? I was convinced that the only reason they asked me on that show was to get even with them. Anyway, so that's not the story. The story is Whoopee kind of thought I was funny. And like six months later, I get a call from Comedy Relief. She wants me to do Comic Relief and they need a tape. So I had a local, don't mention names. I had a local. Do you remember this? No. So this was Mayberry. We were Mayberry. So HBO calls and says we were considering you for Comic Relief. Whoopee Goldberg thinks you're hysterical. Can you send us a tape? And I'm, you know, Mr. Professional. Well, I'll have to go through my manager and my local manager in San Francisco. And it wasn't Amy Glenn who I love. It wasn't Amy Glenn. So my manager sends a tape of all her clients. One of whom was a male stripper who had just appeared on Love Connection. So his tape, his promo tape for Comic, what was it called? Comedy Relief was him stripping and then being on Love Connection. I know who you mean. Yeah. And I didn't get Comic Relief. Luckily, there's still a homeless problem. So fingers crossed. Well, you know, you always had, San Francisco always had big time agents and people floating around here. I'm surprised they made that kind of an error. Got it. Effing Mayberry here. Jesus. I was thinking, well, HBO will be impressed that I have a manager. Close as I came to Comic Relief one night, they had the basketball coach Larry Brown on. Are you on Comic Relief? Oh, yes. Closest to you and I ever got to Comic Relief was when they did a remote at a homeless shelter and we were getting some free food. Didn't we perform at homeless shelters? Wasn't there a period where Robin asked us all to go do comedy at homeless shelters? Do you remember this? No, I remember we did something for Barbara Boxer and it didn't go well. You didn't do it. I did it. But I went with you. You had bought a new pair of Capizios. My Capizio. I think we're giving my Barbara Cassidy. Yes, I was looking very stylish. Was Barbara Cassidy the girl who had a crush on me? Yeah, yeah. This was what year? This was 86 and I called you up and said Barbara's got a crush on you and your response was good. Now I can fuck with her. I didn't realize, but I was joking. Obviously, I joke. Of course. She was very attractive, but I don't think she was ever going to be my girlfriend. I think that's why I said that. Well, women loved you back then. Oh, yeah. Sure, sure. You put more legs in the air than a dead centipede. You know we're coming up on the fourth. I know you're very patriotic. It is the fourth. It is the fourth. Our parents were from the greatest generation, right? I know my dad and your dad during World War II served on a small island in the Pacific, Alcatraz. It's such a bad joke. It's hilarious. When did you come up with that? I'm not even sure it's mine if I heard. Oh, it just seems so obvious. It's a classic. Mr. reaction. Oh, my God. The one I have. I'm getting a little feedback. Oh, we're good. Okay. I my joke is that I apologize to my audience because I've done this joke a million times and it's not even a joke. It's just horrible. Yours is clean. Mine is just reprehensible. My father was part of the greatest generation, the silent type. They never never bragged. Never talked to my father. Killed 70 Japanese during World War II. Never talked about it mostly because it was inside a California internment camp. That's good. The strong silent type. Dad never talked about it. You know, the thing about that joke is I don't even think it's a joke. It's just offensive. I think if you're a Japanese American, you're not going to be as offended as just regular people. Now you'd be offended. It's offensive. It's pretty bad. You're always writing. You're a savant. Always writing jokes. You've got to be a shark like Bobby Slayton. Always searching for jokes. We've offended crowds in San Francisco over the years, haven't we? Yes, mostly when we did Bobby Bitter. Should we talk about your age joke? The age joke? It wasn't even that. It wasn't even like that was given to me. And that was, he had really not talked about it. Well, no, it's kind of interesting about the political correct movement because we were there was ground zero. We were there at the beginning of the politically correct movement, which was 1989. I remember it vividly. I remember George Herbert Walker Bush became president. We had just gotten through eight years of Reagan. The liberals in San Francisco thought they were finally going to take over. They couldn't. They lost. Dukakis lost. So they decided, well, if we can't run Washington, we'll control the way people speak to one another. And thus the politically correct movement was born. We were there, right? It was 89. It was 1989 when it all started. It was a Saturday. It really was 1989. When the liberals realized they couldn't organize to beat George Herbert Walker Bush, so they'll bully everybody else in conversation. And they're right. I agree with them. So at the height of the AIDS epidemic, we were there during when AIDS reared its ugly head in San Francisco. Do you remember this? People were dropping like flies. And it was sad, right? Yeah, I was like, the death count was, god, I shouldn't know what it was, but it was high. And I was working at KRON answering phones for the assignment desk, thinking I was going to be a journalist. I can remember when it was called Gay Plague. Do you remember that? You had some joke book where some guy had some lame joke about it. I have that book somewhere. It was written by a guy named Peretti. He's like a renowned comedy writing coach. I think he worked on the Carol Burnett show. And I bought a joke writing book like how to write jokes. And he said there was a chapter. Homosexuals are funny. And there was something, you know, what do you call a queer with gay plague on a unicycle? Right? I don't remember this. I don't remember with a punch. So I have to find it. But it was something like, what do you call a queer with gay plague on a and you and I found this like five years later when it was called AIDS and nobody was using the word queer anymore. And we lost it. Yeah. Yeah. Well, when tragedy strikes, it's our responsibility to laugh at it, right? You got to laugh at it. So we thought we were going to be rich with Bobby Bitter. Bobby and Bitter. Explain who Bobby Bitter was. Bobby Bitter was, it was based a lot on, I found an old penthouse interview with Jerry Lewis. So violent and vile. We thought it was, do you remember this? No. But some of us based on that, but it was just based kind of the old, everyone does the old comic, the bitter old comic and and this was the one we came up with, Bobby Bitter was particularly vile and it was kind of funny, actually. And I would interview the great Bobby Bitter. You would interview me on stage and it would be, it would have historical references and like really crude sexual jokes. So we'd, we'd have half the audience would like some of the material, half would like the other material, but I never managed and and we were on a local radio show. Uh-huh. And it got kind of a following off that. And Bobby Bitter was big in the 30s. He had a hot radio show. Then he transitioned to television as I recall. Yes. And he, when he went to TV, his wife announced that he was pregnant. He couldn't ever pregnant on TV. So he flew her down to Tijuana for a vacation, got her drunk and hired the Dr. Escobar to perform a back alley abortion. Yes. And there was a great line. I think I played Dr. Escobar, right? You were Dr. Escobar. And Bob, Bobby handed you $50 for the abortion and because they'd been drinking and Dr. Escobar said, Oh, it's $75 and you said that Bobby said that included anesthesia and look, she's already passed out. Uh-huh. And what was the thing about I needed a lighter or something? Oh, the lighter was to the heat, the hangar or something eating up the code hang. He passed the lighter. I got to heat up the code hangers because you want it to be sterile. So, so this, yeah, this is a, this is how stupid we are. How can we not get famous? And it was, I believe Michael Snyder who does movie reviews here was the announcer. And there was a, we had a sponsor of the show. Okay, hang on. Let me just explain to you what I did is I took music and sound effects from like a George Burns, Gracian Allen episode from the 30s. I took all the laughs, all the music, all the sound effects. And I built this old time radio show starring Bobby Bitter, you. And the idea was that they got great news. They're making the transition to television. His wife friend, she says, I also have great news. I'm pregnant. And Bobby Bitter says, you can't be pregnant. We're going to TV. The camera adds 20 pounds. She says, but I want to keep the baby. So Bobby Bitter says, okay, no hard feelings. And just to celebrate that we're having a baby and I'm moving to television. We're going to Tijuana, right? He got a great memory. Yeah. That's how we went. So they go down to Tijuana and they're, we're going to Tijuana. Then it plays mariachi music and he gets his pregnant wife drunk. And then he, she says, I have to throw up and they go into a back alley and he sees Dr. Escobar and you say, you got the money. And I go, I got the money and then she passes out and then she wakes up. Bad news. You lost the baby. He just, right? Yeah. And then she, then she says sweet 16 because she'd lost 15 before. Wait a second. So, but it always ends where Bobby says, why me? Why me? Didn't they say, didn't the, didn't Bobby's manager come into the room and say, great news that it's all set. You're going to be on TV. And yeah, and Bill Paley from CBS thinks it's great that French is pregnant. We want to have a real family situation. Why me? Music and the applause. And do you remember what it was called? It was, it was sponsored by some vacuum cleaner. I'll suck it out with Bobby. Remember that? Yeah. Hoover vacuum cleaner presents. Hoover vacuum. Suck it out with Bobby. Suck it out with Bobby. Now here's the thing that I've learned. Okay. What you, I'll tell you in a second. So this was going to go on a local radio show. Which had a huge audience at the time. Huge was huge. And we were having these discussions. But we're going to offend everybody. It's going to, it's a career render. My wife at the time or girlfriend, whatever was saying, you can't put this on. It's offensive to women. This is San Francisco. You're trivializing abortion. They're going to run you out of town. And we brought it to our friend. He said, I'll put it on and you and I come in. We get up at five in the morning to get down. There's our big day. And we're thinking this is either going to destroy our career or make history. Do you remember? Yeah, I was, I couldn't believe he was putting it on. I was just stunned. Just to be clear, this is a radio sitcom from the 30s where a guy tricks his wife into a back alley abortion with a vacuum cleaner, right? So it doesn't screw up his TV show. And we put it on and we're nervous and I'm thinking, well, I'm probably going to have to get a day job after this or move to Hollywood because we're going to be huge. And what happened? Absolutely no response. Nothing. We go down. We're sitting there. I got a few laughs in the studio audience and we're looking around and we're okay. Waiting for that phone board to lie. Nothing. Nothing. And I'm running around the radio station going, is the signal down? Is everything okay? Yeah. Like nobody cared. Nobody cared. Well, it turns out we were ahead of our time. Abortion now is normal that that feminists and women believe that abortion can be joked about. It's a part of life. It's natural. It wasn't offensive. Well, I guess it was offensive to pro-life people, maybe. But the women in San Francisco who we thought we were offending by trivializing abortion, they think abortion already is trivial. They were on our side. Yes. We thought we were pissing off women and we weren't. Ahead of our time, Roe v. Wade, very interesting, you know who Wade was. No. Henry Wade was the district attorney who would have, in Dallas, who was, he would have been the one that would have tried Lee Harvey Oswald. So he was against abortion. Why didn't he just have one of his sheriffs escort the fetus out through the garage? That's a joke, see? They're bringing Lee Harvey Oswald's embryo. Seriously, his name was Wade? I didn't know this. Henry Wade, yeah. Also, yeah, that would have been his big case, Oswald. So instead he tried to stop an abortion? It wasn't, yeah, it wasn't a federal crime then. So Kennedy's murder would have been tried in Dallas. I know that. I'm talking about Roe v. Wade. I never knew this. So why was he named in the Supreme Court decision? Was he's trying to stop Roe from having? Again, I can see, well, Roe must have, maybe she was in Dallas. Something must have been there and where it happened. Let's look that up. Yeah. Wiki that. Yeah, it's more fun to figure it out. And it's interesting, Roe, like an egg, right? Sam and Roe? Still like Fisher, I guess. Maybe that was your, maybe that was your nickname. All right. Are you looking it up? No. But he tried to prevent the abortion, Wade. Well, he was the, yeah, I guess. Interesting stuff. Interesting stuff. Interesting stuff. Everyone's tuning out. April 9th, 1990. April 9th, 1990. You did horribly last time. I should mention that Larry has a photographic memory on certain things. Oh, I know. I've got a good memory for airplane crashes. April 9th, 1990. Was it a commercial crash? Let's see. Northeast Alabama Regional Airport. That doesn't sound like a big one to me. All right. Let's go with L'Express Airlines Flight 508. See, that's an express flight. That's been count. All right. I've got to have at least 100 deaths. How many? At least 100. Okay. September 4th, 1971. That was at the Alaskan Airlines. Very good. Yeah. Did you know? No, I don't know, but you knew. How did you know that? I remember that wasn't a big one. That's a horrible airport up there. Yeah, it's Juneau, Alaska. Yeah. That was Alaskan Airlines. And I'm trying to remember it. There was slightly over 100 or killed, isn't that? Yeah, 101. In the Christ of... 111. They had that airport is right up against a mountain and it's real foggy. I think they hit in the mountain. They just need Wiley Post flying that nobody gets that joke. Do you know who Wiley Post was? Wiley Post from didn't you fly with Will Rogers? Will Rogers. He crashed the plane. He killed... Oh, here's a pilot? He had one eye and Will Rogers got in a plane with him. And we never found Will again. We'll never get on board with a one-eyed pilot. By the way, Will Rogers, according to Mort Saul, was an anti-Semite. Really? Uh-huh. I will see Mort soon and ask him about that. I never met a man I didn't like unless his last name was Feldman, Zimmerman, Alderman. Tell that to Mort. Well, if you're a Jew, never trust a man with a lasso. Nobody knows who Will Rogers is. Tell that to Mort. I just came up with that. When do you see him? I'll see him Thursday. There's a new book out about him, Mort. The book is great. It's amazing. So I went to Mort's house a couple weeks ago and he... Mort Saul. We're talking about Mort Saul. Mort just turned 90 and still sharp as ever. And he's got... You know, I like... You don't like cars, but he had... He's got this picture of him driving a 1969 AC Cobra off the lot. And that car then was $4,500. Now they're worth over a million. And you know who took the picture? Let me guess. Steve McQueen. Wow. They went down together to buy it and he just... Yeah, he knows everybody. It's unbelievable. Loves you. I love him. My fantasy is to come out to San Francisco, go up to Mill Valley and sit with him for 20 hours, and go over the book page by page. You remember we used to go to... We could do that. Come out. We'll go to dinner. It'll be fun. I won't let him go. I love Mort. He was my hero. Remember we used to go to the Berkeley library and look up stuff? Oh, I remember. Do you remember what we used to look up? We were trying to... Look at the Bob Crane murder. The Bob Crane murder, but it's somebody else. An even bigger murder. Who was that? Oh, you're going to lose it. I can't believe you don't remember this. We laughed for three years. Three years. There was a bigger murder than the Fatty R Buckle, Virginia Rapay murder. A great comedian was responsible for the death of somebody, and we were going to crack it. Do you remember? God, no. Paul Lind. Oh, okay. Do you remember that? 1965 happened in San Francisco. Young man fell out of his hotel window. Fell out of Paul Lind's? Fell Lind's hotel room, yes. Oh, I have the joke. I swear to God, I just made this up. I swear to you, but I can't do Paul Lind. I need Gilbert to say it because Gilbert does Paul Lind. Tell me that a man fell out of Paul Lind's hotel window. Some kid fell out of a Paul Lind's room on the 40th floor. And you know what Paul said to him before he died? What? Bye-bye, Bertie. He threw him out. He thought he could fly. Paul Lind was in bye-bye, Bertie. That would have been a great Colombo. You're going to read me my ride. Excuse me. I don't mean to be a bother. But you know the window in that room? Just doesn't make sense. It doesn't really open all the way. Well, so a guy fell out of Paul Lind's window. What hotel was it? I've looked that up and I can't find it. We were at the Berkeley Library researching that. When everybody... Before the internet. Before the internet. We were going on... Pouring over. Well, Jake Johansson was getting his letterman set ready. Well, Ellen... Paul Lind's murder. Ellen was getting her tonight show set ready. Tim Amini was getting ready for a sitcom on CVS. Uncle Buck. Uncle Buck. You and I went to Berkeley to the library because we were going to crack the murder of Paul Lind's lover. And Bob Crane. Everybody else was working on their act, writing jokes, moving to Hollywood. And I would come home to my then girlfriend and she'd say, did you work on your act? No, but I think we know who killed Paul Lind's girlfriend. We were... Remember talking like Bogart? No one knows who killed Bob Crane. Well, I... The Bob Crane autofocus was amazing. Did you ever see that movie? Yeah. Greg Keneer. All right. Juneau, Alaska. Why don't we talk about one of our other get-rich-quick schemes when we were on Make Me Laugh? Do you remember this? Yes, we... I did... I used to do these old Bob Bill jokes with Johnny and we were doing... Johnny Steele. Johnny Steele. And we were doing them in the green room. And the guy said, those might be funny. So we did a set on Make Me Laugh and they went over so well. They can't... Remember they had us do like three or four tapings? We were Bub and Dave. Bub and Dave. And they said... You... You... Didn't the producers say, but you guys are going to get something out of this? Oh, my God. No. This was the closest I ever got to actually believing that we were going to be huge superstars and fill auditoriums and arenas. I was already a comedy writer. I'd given up on stand-up. You know, I was doing it, but I knew I wasn't going to make it big. You come down to LA. We're doing Make Me Laugh. We start doing, hey, I understand you were in Idaho. Pocatella? I poked her everywhere. That's maybe not the best example. What was the leaf blower? What was the biggest stretch imaginable? Bought my girlfriend an electronic leaf removal device. Blower? Not till she rakes the yard. My girlfriend has a horrible substance abuse problem. Liquor? Not till she stops drinking. So we did these on Make Me Laugh and I have the tape somewhere. The screen literally is shaking because the cameramen are laughing so hard. Do you remember this? I remember the audience going nuts, you know. To the point, it was the filthiest thing that had ever been on Comedy Central at the time, but they couldn't edit it because it was clean. And I remember we did three or four and I think the second time we did it, they didn't think it was, they didn't think we could repeat the success. And the second time was even funnier. And you carried a suitcase. I remember I talked to you into carrying a suitcase. And the be-up suitcase, I would bring that out and I'd just lay it down and then we'd... No, no, you held it. I made you hold the suitcase. I thought I put it on the floor. Well, let's review that tape. And we had a big fight about this. You were saying, why do I have to bring the suitcase out? No, it was brilliant. Because that's funny, no comedy. It's a comedy team and you're this paranoid guy. It looks like I'm always on the road. And do you remember the brilliant introduction? The... oh, we're always looking for fresh new talent. We're scouring the clubs and colleges. Scouring the clubs for fresh new talent. Here's the hot new team of Bub and Dave and these two middle-aged fucks come out, broken down. I hear you were in Maine. Got a girlfriend in Maine. Don't go that far for a kiss. Steele and I still do them and Steele's got a... He's... actually, they look great because we dressed up like two old 40 detectives and they're called Steakout Cops. He's got those on Facebook, so... Oh, you recorded them. We're still hoping for... oh, we're writing them all at a time. Let's see. We had like five the last time. Went to... drove down to a football game in New Orleans, Tulane. No, took the expressway. Went to a poetry slam in Washington State, Spokane. No, Ritten. Got a... Who wrote that one? That's the best one. Who wrote that? That's Steele's. Oh, that's brilliant. Got a... I saw a sick elephant at a zoo in Alabama, Tuscaloosa. No, I think it's a gum infection. And they're just so... they're funny because they're so stupid. Yeah, so I remember we walked off and this segment producer used to work the Ed Sullivan show. Do you remember this? Yeah, I remember... I don't know that. I remember he was just gushing. He grabbed me by the lapels and said, look at me. I'm looking at you. I promise you, big things are about to happen. This is going to be... And I go home, I'm thinking, well, do I really want to partner up with Larry and do movies in a sitcom and chore with Larry? He's kind of undependable and do I really want this? Well, you know, maybe I'm just a straight man. Maybe I'm never going to make it as a comedian and this comedy writing isn't fulfilling. All right, I'll do Bub and Dave and get famous. Apparently, this is going to be my ticket and my curse, but there'll be a lot of money and I can support my family. All right, I guess I'll answer the phone. I get up the next day. I've resolved that Bub and Dave is going to be huge. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Not one call, nobody. Not one call, nothing. I just remember how hard the audience was laughing at those. I just thought this is it. We finally found it. Remember, you were staying in our house. My son was three. This is really horrible, but I guess we should tell the audience. How old was he then? Because this is not your son. Don't mention his name. But how old was he? He was about five. He was pushing five. So I'll tell the benevolent side of your staying with us. He was not allowed to drink Coke or Diet Coke or anything. You're addicted to Diet Coke. Is that correct? Probably the eight to 10 cans a day. Are you still addicted to Diet Coke? Absolutely. And he wasn't allowed to drink that stuff at an early age. I told him it has formaldehyde in it. There's some kind of chemical that it bombs you and will kill you and to stay away from it. You came back from the store with a Jeroboam of Diet Coke, which you proceeded to drink in front of him. And he was in awe of you. I want to cry. It was so sweet. He knew about the bones too. Really? Because he said you have bones like a bird, I bet. And I didn't even know that later on I found out. Yeah, it leaches the calcium. I hear bones. There was a genius. I'm going to cry this beautiful four-year-old. Just loved me. Innocent boy. Innocent boy. I could take him anywhere. He was like a dog. You want to go see comedy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was in awe of all my friends until he turned about 16. But tell him what you used to do in front of me and my wife and him. Don't mention his name. Let's give him another name, Buster. Buster. Well, one day Buster was about five and his mother was late. And he comes up and he goes, do you know where my mom is? And I said, Buster, there's been an accident. Jesus Christ. A bad accident. And I start laughing hysterically. You lost it. I start laughing hysterically. There's been an accident. A bad accident. And I apologize to the listeners because it's really dark. It was horrible. It was horrible. But I'm laughing so he knows she's OK. So then it became this thing. You'd come down to stay with us. And I'd be standing there that my son would see me and you go, Buster, there's been an accident. And I go, bad. It was so horrible. I don't even know what prompted that. It's horrible. This little kid, I'm sitting there drinking Diet Coke, eating your food. Hey, we're getting a little low on M&M. The world's worst house guest. He's never going to leave. But you'd come home from a set. You'd come home from a set. He's hitting on the maid. You'd come home. I'd be sitting there with my arms wrapped around my little Buster. Watching Nickelodeon. Just idyllic setting. My lips never left the top of his head. I was just sniffing the top of his head and just so pure and perfect. The door would open and you'd look at me holding my son and you go, Buster, I have bad news about your father. There's been an accident. And I would just start laughing hysterically. I don't think he was traumatized. The kid turned out perfectly. People used to say to me, aren't you worried? And I go, we'll see. Let's see what happens. It's like the Skinner Box. It made him tougher. Made him tougher. Well, I don't know. I don't recommend it. We were lucky because he had like 50 cousins and it was free wheeling. And there was a lot of noise in the house and a lot of joking about everything. And he was safe. He's now a serial killer. Yeah. But he's good at it. Oh, my God. I miss those things. Well, the min is a flown by. Let's see. Okay. Flight 1420. I need a date. Okay. June 1st, 1999. June 1st, 99. Oh, you know what? I'm sorry. I only 10. It's a four letter. It's a four number. That means it's like a, it's not a main airline. Yeah. No, it was American Airlines, but not enough people died for you to peak your interest. That's me. It's a contractor to American Airlines. And they have four. That's those are the planes you don't want to get on. What? What? If it's a guy, if it's got a four number, four digit flight number, that means it's contracted out. It's one of those small planes that don't have much experience. Really? I'll point those. Yeah. And if it's three, it's owned by the airline? Yeah. What's the worst flight you were ever on? Oh, I remember that one. That was November of 87 coming back from Denver with you and Johnny Steele. Oh, we talked about that already. Yeah. But that was, that was just takeoff. Well, the fact there'd been a crash the day before and that the plane was still in the runway upside down didn't help it. Yeah. That was kind of disconcerting. Did you ever fly and think this isn't going to happen? We're not going to land? I used to think I was convinced that every flight I took I was going to die. I was just horrified of flying. I flew so much back then. I don't know how I did it. And you flew gliders? I was a glider pilot, yes. Why would you do that? I did that to get over my fear of flying, which only made it because I actually made it worse. I found out everything you can bring a plane down and there's a lot. But I was okay when I was a pilot, I was probably a control thing. When I was flying, I was fine. I loved it. As a passenger, I hate it. You would take a glider. You would attach... Fly over for him. Fly over for him, Art. And how long would you stay up in the air? It depended on the wind. You could stay up all day. Not very high because the wind was blowing. And then... The thermals. Thermals. One day we had a thermal that took us... They were going up to 20,000 feet. I got up to... We got... I was with my instructor. We ended up to 14,000 feet. We were above the area where you were supposed to have oxygen. So we kept asking each other questions. How many fingers am I holding up just to make sure we were clear? We were actually... We were above planes that were landing at San Francisco. It was incredible. Are you relaxed while you're doing this? Yeah, I was then, yeah. But not as a passenger. So if you're in a glider... You would love gliding. It's amazing. Well, in San Francisco, glider means something else. Yeah? Yeah. No, with... What are you afraid is going to happen if you're in a glider? That the engine's going to start? There's no engine, right? There's no engine. There's no engine. You get towed up by another plane. You get towed up. So what can go wrong? Being... You could run into another plane. You can... It's pretty safe. Once I almost got too far from the airport, I barely was able to get back. And I would have had to land in a field, which is no big deal. They'd have to come out and disassemble a plane. That would have been a pain in the ass, but it was not a safety issue. What happens if you do a nosedive? I mean, could you crash it if you were suicidal? Oh, absolutely. Yeah, you stall. We used to practice stall. You stall a plane. You're flying straight down. What do you mean, stall? There's no engine to stall. There's no engine, but the stall is the lift. The wind coming over the wings gives you a lift. And if you pull a nose of the plane up high enough, there's not enough lift coming over the wings, and then it goes into a dive. Tell me about Michael Meehan's movie because he's on the show today. Oh, he is. He's great. He got this movie done. It looks great. It's got this look like it was shot in the 70s. He's got great photography and used every comic in town, I think. And I think you'd like it. Got a good review from Nicholas L. I noticed. I noticed. And who do you play? I play a medical examiner looking at this body. I'm taking pictures. He just loved me. He just make up your own dialogue, which I did. So I take pictures. I think I said, this one's going on my Facebook. I got a laugh. I've seen parts of it. He got a good review, so I don't know. Check it out. Yes, I'm Vimeo right now. But it had a record run at the Four Star Theater in San Francisco. Yes. And the Four Star Theater, which I think they might want to steam clean those floors. Great little art theater. San Francisco, the comedy scene. What happened? It collapsed. When? It collapsed in 1991. Right after Saddam Hussein invaded Kuwait. No, no, he invaded in 1990. The war was in 1991. He invaded in August of 1990. August of 1990, we went in in January of 1991. And I heard some guy saying that was the, that was the start of the ISIS and everything. That was the biggest military blunder in history. I'm not that one. Going back in in 03. They said what they should have done was let, if they'd let Saddam take Kuwait and then Saudi Arabia, we'd have been better off. That's interesting. Yeah, because that would have, right, been all the high. I think women would have, I think women and gays might have been better off. I think Saddam Hussein had women in his parliament. They weren't allowed to vote. But I mean Kuwait, what was so great about Kuwait? Right? Yeah. This guy has some interesting points about that, but he said it would have stopped a lot of the, that that's just screwed up everything over there. Or maybe just staying out of it. Yeah, we should have stayed out, but if we'd stayed out, he said Saddam would have taken Saudi Arabia. That would have been worked for the better. No, Osama bin Laden. Exactly. Here we are solving world problems, talking about back alley abortions. Well, so in August of 1990, our ambassador to Iraq, I think her name was Gillespie. You would know better than I. I think she said to Saddam Hussein, yeah, go in and invade Kuwait. What do we care? So he invaded Kuwait and then he became a tin pot. Dictator, this will not stand. Adolf Hitler. And the comedy boom died, right? It did die in the start of good end of 91, but. And when did it come back? Did it come back? Or it never came back. There was there was interest came back in comedy, but the money never came back. I think maybe this is in three still standing. I didn't see it because I'm not in it. Because your picture's in it. Watch it. Somebody's got to fill me for a documentary and use me. I'm not doing documentaries anymore, unless I'm. If I'm going to be in it, you've been used. Yeah. As I understand it, and maybe this is in your movie three still standing, comedy became like everything else. You could make a killing. Just a handful of people could sell out arenas and theaters. And then the rest were consigned to poverty. Yeah, a few people get got hugely rich and still do. And then they're still paying opening and middle acts what they were 30 years ago. Yeah, it's pretty incredible. It is incredible. And ticket prices have quintupled. Ticket prices have quintupled. Are they still making money? Are these big comedy clubs still making money? They wouldn't be in business if they weren't. It is pretty amazing that comedy clubs pay middles and openers what they paid 30 years ago or less. Yeah, or less or is the problem also that more people want to do comedy than see it? That's it. There's so many people that want to do it now. So they got a buyer's market. So if you if you don't want to take what you're getting paid in 1988, there's 15 people that will. Is there an explosion of people wanting to be comedians in San Francisco? There is. Do they stick with it? I don't know. I don't know why. A lot of they seem to stick with it. Yeah. And where do they do it? Where do they do it? Well, there's only two main clubs left here now, but there's like several little open mics and cafes where they do it. And you know, they're comic. I'll say one thing. They'll find a place to do it. They will find a place to do it. They will find a place. Yeah, they'll drive 50 miles. They're getting up in front of five people, three of them whom are their friends. That's why New York City is so much better. Yeah. Well, you got like 14 million people in a 10 mile radius. So if you want to do stand up like you're describing, you can leave the house at seven and be home by 8 30 and get your stand up fix. Whereas in San Francisco, it's so inefficient. You got to get in the car. I can remember, as you said, driving 50 miles to get five minutes of stage time. But if you want to get up every night, can you do it in San Francisco, in the city proper? Not try it. Not drive to Oakland. No, you could. There's places where you could do sets every night here. And do you do that? No, I do like I do like I was looking my old in 1984, I did 300 350 sets last year. I did like 110. So I just go out primarily if I'm getting money because I'm a whore. How do people reach you? Through the district attorney's office. You know, I sent to one of my idea. I took a DNA swab and sent it to ancestry.com. Yeah. And get this, I'm 5% German, 50% British, and apparently I'm tied to five homicides and that's it though. Always right. You got a right, don't you? I'm surprised Alex Jones isn't on the ancestry.com thing, where it's just a plot to get everybody's DNA. Who is that guy? I don't know. I'm a stay at home kind of guy. What you might call an ankle bracelet. That's good. Is that new? That's new. Yes. I'm writing again. Had like 10 minutes of new material this week. It was great. Roostertea feathers. I love roosterteas. They love you. I got to go back there. Tell him I said hello. Why don't you come out and do a set? In fact, you should do the Throgmorton and we'll hang out with Mort. Yeah, the problem is Mort loves me until he sees my set. Well, I don't think there's another comic that Mort likes anyway. Yeah, he's right. Why should he like it would be like asking Yo-Yo Ma to listen to OMD, you know, orchestra maneuvers in the dark. How could Mort like any comic? Nobody's at his level. Nobody realized. I know he just I'm in his apartment. He's got that. There's this plaque there from Jim Garrison's office, you know. Yes, I remember Jim Garrison. He used to produce the Dean Martin roasts. Nobody gets that. And it was Greg Garrison. That'd be funny if you say to Mort. All right, forget it. Go ahead. So this is the you probably know this. John Hinckley. Yes, the guy who whose heart was broken by Jody Foster. And his his family. Best friends with Neil Bush. The night before that Neil Bush. This is like I tell people in Colorado. In Colorado, the night before Hinckley shot President Reagan in 1981, Neil Bush. At dinner with Hinckley's parents. Right. So this is if you look this up on the Internet, they have a they mentioned this on ABC the day after Reagan got shot and it was like it looks so obvious like people are even afraid to talk about it. So I I brought that up to Mort. He just give me this little wink. What do you think? He knew about it. Oh, yeah, explain to people and don't feel bad if you don't know this. I've accepted the fact that I'm old. Explain the significance of that to our audience. What? More never forget anything. No, no, explain the significance of George Herbert Walker Bush's son having. Oh, the Bush and Reagan hated each other. So if. And who was Bush? Explain who he was at the time. He was Reagan's vice president. Right. So let's see if Reagan were to die. The president would be Alexander Haig. Nobody nobody gets that. That's the problem. As Mort said in his book Heartland, at least Stevenson complained as you get older. There's nobody left to talk to because nobody gets your references. That's the great line. What you know and get your references. Oh, I used to say to Dennis Miller near the end of the run with him. You can't fire me. I'm the only one who gets your jokes. Not because I'm smart because I'm old and he'd lose it. He thought that was so funny. This was 12 years ago. Now look. Yeah. So explain what explain the significance of George Herbert Walker Bush was the vice president to Ronald Reagan. They had a bitter, bitter, bitter primary fight. He referred to Reaganomics as who do economics. Then he picked Bush to be his vice president. And his was and his chief of staff was James Baker, who was a Bush man. Right. So where was George Herbert Walker Bush on November 22nd? Same place. Nixon was leaving, but he doesn't remember it. What did Nixon say on November 21st when he was flying out of Dallas? He's leaving Dallas. It's all shit. Nixon was there. George Herbert Walker Bush was from Texas. That was the old Bobby Bitter bit. Remember like Bobby said, where do the shots come from? Where do the shots come from? Oh, the book depository, the grassy knoll, the sewer. Hell, I squeeze off a couple of rounds myself. It was a festive day. It's like the 4th of July. 4th of July. I squeeze a couple of months. I quoted the telethon, Barry Lang's line. So about the Bobby Bitter telethon. Hilarious. Do it. You know, folks, cerebral palsy ain't as funny as it looks. How much money did you raise for that telethon every year, Bobby? 35 million. Would have doubled it. Yeah. I took it to the casino, put it all on red. Great time for old double O to come up. So how much money was left for little Timmy? Well, after my cut, we had $15 in a cake with Timmy's name on it. How could this not make us famous? I never told you the story. What was the perg, what was the perg roll bit? That was your bit about his, his wife gave birth to a litter and they all died except Bruno, who had, who had a tail. Yeah, you had a wife named Frenchy who couldn't conceive. So you won a fertility drug perg roll. Dr. DeBakey in a poker game with Dr. DeBakey is hard. These references are so stupid. You were in a poker game with Dr. DeBakey and he ran out of money. So he bet with perg roll, which was this powerful for a drug that was not yet tested by the FDA. And so you slipped it into Frenchy and how many, the bitter, the bitter litter, the bitter litter. Seven of them died. Then there was one that survived my son Bruno who had a tail. And Bruno, your son is a stutterer. Yeah, he stutters. The only time he doesn't stutter is when he negotiates with a hooker. No, no, no, you're doing it wrong. Jesus Christ. The only time he doesn't stutter is when he's singing Ave Maria or negotiating with a hooker. Your son Bruno was kidnapped, right? He was kidnapped. The kidnappers have sent a ransom note and his thumb. No, his ear. His ear asking for $100,000. So you wrote back. I said that I'm a great negotiator. All right, back. That's damaged merchandise. Mark him down. After several more limbs, we got him back for $15. God, that's funny. You know what the problem is now? Now I'm going to want to do it on the show. I've never wanted to do Bobby Bitter with you on my podcast because I get obsessed with it. And now I want to do it. I love the idea that Bobby Bitter gets an ear in the mail as proof that they have his son Bruno. And he'll go, well, he's damaged merchandise now. Mark him down. How many times have we thought Bobby Bitter was going to make it? And I guess there was Tom. People were interested in doing a cartoon with three years ago. Let's this guy up here, Jim McGarr, we thought we'd sell to the cartoon. Great guy. So we go down, he set up a meeting with Film Roman. They do the symptoms and the king of the hill. I'd never been in a meeting before down there. So apparently it'll be usually that's 20 minutes, 30 minutes stops. We go down there. This woman that runs Film Roman is just swooning. We're in there an hour and a half. She goes, we just out. We want our own project. This is it. We're going to make a trailer and sell this thing. I come out of there on the govro. My God, we're rich. I'm thinking, do I want a house in the Hollywood Hill? Should I keep my apartment up here? And yeah. So then two weeks later, oh, she's been replaced that quickly. All right. How do people reach you? LarryBubblesBrown.com. Oh, you have a website now? I do. How many miles did you run yesterday? I'm running six today. I run every other day. Where are you going to run? Getting my Fort Mason. I got to the Golden Gate Bridge. Do you still go to Strawberry Canyon at Berkeley? No, I don't go. There's so many Uber drivers. You can't get over the bridge anymore. Seriously? There's they're saying 30 to 40,000 cars a day driving Uber and Lyft in San Francisco. There's a big medical building. You have 450 Sutter. There's so many cars dropping people off there now that people can't get in. That's why you're supposed to have regulation. Yeah. They just Uber just does what they want. Didn't they introduce self-driving cars even though? Yeah, they said you can't do that. And they just did it anyway. And one of them almost, one ran a red light. The tech companies just do what they want. They're above the law. Nobody seems to care. But you love San Francisco and you love the people. I love San Francisco. In fact, I keep taunting that guy in Korea. You can't hit us. You wouldn't dare. It's ironic that the most iconic building in the most liberal city in America looks like a KKK member, not the trans-american building. You're absolutely right. How liberal is San Francisco? The Grand Wizard. You know, liberals love the electric car, but yet they hate the electric chair. I'm writing again. So I suggest we compromise and execute people in Tesla's. That's funny. When they're dead, the sunroof opens up. They pop out like toast. Next. I dare you to aim one of those meals so that you don't have it in you. Oh, I just came up with a joke for you. Do it tonight. You know why it's called the trans-american building? Because there's a penis and a vagina. Trans-american. That'll piss the audience off. Somebody must do that joke, right? Trans. Trans. Has anybody ever done that joke? I haven't heard it. You're always on the cutting edge. Trans-america. San Francisco is so liberal, so self-actualized. The tallest building has a penis and a vagina. That's what it's called. The trans. Even their skyscrapers are transitioning. Isn't there one that's a great joke if nobody's doing that? That will really piss off. Used to be called the tranny America building, but we learned we can't say that. Yes, we're much more polite now. Yeah. I guess that is offensive. Is it? Probably. Everything's offensive. But if somebody in San Francisco who's gay were to do that joke, I'm being serious. Then it's fine, right? I don't know. Would it? I read Ferling Gettys still alive. 98. City Lights. Yeah. He's 98, a friend of ours. When we first started college, a friend of mine dated his daughter. Betty. Julie. No, Betty. Betty Ferling Gettys. I think it's Julie Ferling Gettys. I'm just being a douche. Betty Ferling Gettys. Get it? I know. It rhymes and he's a poet. Betty Ferling Gettys. See, you're so... I can't keep up with you. Oh. Cocktail, addled brain. You... When's the last time you had a drink? I haven't had it 20 years ago. I don't drink. I love San Francisco. But as has been said, who said this? There's no there there. Was it Virginia Woolf? Who said there's no there there? Or was she talking about Oakland? Gertrins-Stein talking about Oakland. That's like the most brilliant thing I've ever heard in my life. But it's also about San Francisco. There's no there there. I never felt... Like I understood San Francisco or the Bay Area. But there are people who do. You know, me and Duz, you obviously do. Durs does. Pritchard. Ma Erwin. Some people love this town. I just never found a core to it. I just found things just drifted slowly away in San Francisco. Relationships. Any social structure just kind of disappeared. And people were slaves to their lifestyle. They wanted to be happy and not necessarily productive. Well, it used to be a... There was a part of this town used to be working class. Now it's just all... There's so much money here. It was incredible. It's all white. It's all white millennium. All white tech money. Millennium is right, right? Yep. So you hate San Francisco? I always hate it. It's kind of that Sony liberal. It's very cold and windy. There's nothing really to like about it here. I get into all the occasions while I'm jogging. It's always been a city of carpet baggers and carpet munchers. No, it's always been... It's always been a city of carpet baggers like me. You come through. You take the money and leave. You leave. It's like the tech people, the comedians. They come in here. They buy a house on Broadway for $20 million. Next year they sell it for $30 million. They leave. But there are people who will still be there when all is said and done who aren't going anywhere. Well, I don't know. I think people like me with rent control eventually die and then we'll all be gone. Who's the mayor now? Ed Lee. Looks like the monopoly, man. Is he good? He's just... I heard he's just totally in the pocket of the tech companies. And the tech companies are ruining San Francisco because they don't believe in mass transit. They believe in Uber and Lyft and buses for their employees. Yeah, they've got these enormous buses that use the muni stops and they take their employees down to San Jose. You know, you're not allowed to park in a bus stop. No, we're going to pick up our employees in the bus stop. So nobody does anything about it. They're above the law. And they don't pay taxes. No. In fact, they give them... I think they gave Twitter a big tax break to put their building up here. They don't pay taxes and they don't make money. These tech companies all run deficits in the hope that Google or Apple or Facebook will buy them. And then, you know, Facebook buys the tech company and everybody thinks Mark Zuckerberg is a genius. They think he invented this. And, you know, like Oculus, the virtual reality company that Facebook bought. Everybody thinks, well, Mark Zuckerberg is a genius. He invented virtual reality. No, he has venture capital behind him and they tell him you're going to buy this company. And they present a very socially liberal viewpoint. Everybody thinks they're wonderful people. They're the most rapacious capitalists in the planet. They're rapacious capitalists who are good on social issues because it makes them look good. That's always been the problem with San Francisco. Yeah, that's exactly what it is. The social issues are the things that divide us when we should all be united to take on the 1 percent. But instead, you have dykes marching in Chicago holding up the Star of David being told that's a trigger. You got to take the Star of David. Did you hear about this? No. Some Jewish dyke, and that's what she called herself. It was a dyke march for gay pride. For gay pride, she held up the Star of David and they told her to take it down because it was triggering anxiety among the other. Anxiety. Among the other lesbians that the Star of David represented Palestinian oppression. Well, this is, you know, as old as the 60s divide and conquer. As long as the Jewish lesbians are fighting with the lesbians who are sympathetic to the Palestinians. As long as we're fighting each other, Walmart can destroy Main Street. The enemy is Walmart. But that's what San Francisco does. San Francisco has always been a banking town, a money town that is good on social issues as long as African Americans are living in Oakland. Exactly. Very racist town. They kept Will Chamberlain tried to buy a place here in 1963. I got an old newspaper and they, we're keeping Will out of this area. We may have the newspaper. There's an old newspaper story about Will Chamberlain tried to buy a place in San Francisco and everybody's gonna be able to deny he's not buying a house here. Yeah, and the racist comments that people said about Will Chamberlain. Well, you know, it has nothing to do with the fact that he's African American. He's just going to be having sex night after night after night. What a, what a- $20,000. What a horrible thing to say. Just because he's Will Chamberlain, it's because he's black, you automatically assume he's just going to have sex night after night after night. It's horrible that people would say that about him. Did he really, how many women did he have? He claimed $20,000. Yeah, could not shoot a free throw. That's right. He didn't have any, he didn't have any trouble zeroing in on a smaller hole. Getting his ball into the smaller. That wouldn't even go out of the rim. How many women do you think you've had in your life? Not nearly as many as you. We were coxswain back in the 80s. Are you open? I have cash. I'm open, I have cash. The thing that I thought was going to make as big was the Hooker songs. That's for another show. All right, those were huge. And that's the other thing now. Here's the other thing that I'm discovering. So jokes about abortion are politically correct now because it normalizes abortion. That feminists, this new wave of feminism says abortion is normal. So the jokes that we made are acceptable. So Hooker songs, you and I in the 80s used to joke about prostitution. Yeah, and it was as you know, we both thought song parity was the highest form of the art. Yeah, we'll get to that. That's the whole other thing. We'll do it next time. But I was told by the woman I was living with at the time that you shouldn't joke about prostitutes because it's very sad and it's trafficking of humans and it's not to be laughed at. It's economic oppression. But I've been told now that there are sex workers who should be licensed and taxed and it's not oppression and that strippers don't have daddy issues. They're not exhibitionists. It's power over men. It's a great way to make money and they're not being exploited. Everything changes, doesn't it? Yeah. Have you heard that? No, but if you keep it like more salt said, if you keep a consistent political view, like you'll eventually be tried for treason. Well, I was seeing that. That's the difference. That's why he's more salt. My I was thinking if you keep telling me that prostitution isn't exploiting women, then it's no longer a turn. What is it? What are you trying to kill my boner? Some woman came up to me once and said, don't do jokes about prostitution. It's degrading to women. And I said, yeah, I was really uplifting for men. We just marched out of the brothel. Hello, America. I just paid for sex. I've got money and power. Larry Bubbles Brown. I love you. I miss you. This was come on out. I'm going to set up a dinner for you and Mort. Oh, that nothing would make me happy. Can you get dirty in front of him? I would I'd be afraid that something would slip out of my mouth like your like your cock. I've cleaned my I'm pretty clean these days. But yeah, he does not. Did you make him walk in the rain? Oh, 30 years ago. No, I didn't make him walk in the rain. You and I picked him up in my trans am. Which had a penis and a vagina, as I recall. Trans. That's why it was called a trans am. Yeah, we we took him to Cobbs where he was. It was called a trans am because it was bought by men who were insecure about the size of both their penis and their vagina. Yeah, so I was first in line. Go ahead. So we took more to Cobbs. There's a parking lot next door that happened to be an open space. I pulled into it and we walked in. It wasn't that far and he got a little testy because it was raining. Every time he brings that up, I said it was David Feldman. Does he remember that? No, he probably would. I wouldn't bring it up. Hey, go on YouTube and watch him. It is amazing. His stuff is so amazing. It's another level. It's it's not even stand up. It's yeah, he he performed every Thursday. He's always good. It is another level. It's he wants to see you again. Better get out here. He's 90. I'm afraid I would offend him. Does he laugh? I mean, does he laugh at mean stuff? What is he? No, he hates mean stuff. He he liked he kind of like Johnny Steele. That makes sense. Johnny turns a nice phrase. Yeah, Johnny did this thing about liberals and conservatives. How like the both coast people are like museums and find restaurants and believe in science and have six figure incomes live in these areas or people like farm animals and sex with their cousins. But more told him more. He didn't like the thing about the six figure incomes. He thought that was a little mean. So he definitely doesn't like mean humor. Well, he's not going to like me. Oh, you're very mean. Well, if you're my political enemy in comedy, I believe in the politics of personal destruction. I do. I I think that we can talk about things. But when it comes to the Koch brothers and Mitch McConnell, I think you, you know, save the worst things about them. Short of what? I don't. Mitch Buck, I think if you look at the leadership of both parties, it just is some very pathetic people. But you love Pelosi. Isn't she your congresswoman? Not for long. Is she your congresswoman? She is. We'll end on the battered women's benefit with your new Kapizios that we did at Wolfgang's or I did it. You accompanied me to a battered women's benefit. I believe it was 1985. Was it 1985? I think it was August. Paula Poundstone saw you. Huh? It was you and Paula. Was Paula there? Yeah. She recommended me for this because through the corner of her eye, she heard me do a Reagan joke that she liked. She's not knowing. Not knowing that 99 percent of my act was talking about taking a dump in my cat box. Battered women, battered children, batter up. So you're in your new Kapizios and all these. Right. We're trying to help you with jokes before you go off. And you're eating the call cuts. And you start going, this is great. These battered women, the women really prep a meal for us. These battered women, they know how to feed their man. And you're slathering on mayonnaise and mustard. Turkey and mayonnaise. Wow. These women, I think he said something like they know how to cook for their man. They know when. I don't remember that. You're going, you're going, these battered women are making sure supper is ready. I'll tell you that. And then you go, like everybody can hear this. You're eating your sandwich. You're going, these battered women benefits are great for picking up chicks. Look, I remember that joke, but I don't remember the. So you gave me a joke that I did. Barbara Boxer shows up who, by the way, still is a beautiful woman. Right. Very, very sexy one. Right. Found out why they call her boxer. Yeah. Get a look at this broad. Woof, woof. We're sitting there talking horrible jokes for an hour to each other with battered women in earshot or cauliflower earshot. And nobody gets that. Then there was hang on. So you made me do that joke. I'm going to tell you, I'm going to tell you, I'm going to tell you, I'm going to tell you, I'm going to tell you, I'm going to tell you, I'm going to tell you, I made you. You made me do the boxer joke. I did. It's a benefit at Wolfgangs to raise money for battered women. I open up with ladies. I'm reaching for the microphone. Don't flinch. Do you remember that? Boo. And Barbara Boxer introduced me and I thought this was 1985. I did the joke. Found out why they call her Boxer. Can't look at that broad's face. I can't believe why they didn't like you. They didn't like me. Yeah, that didn't go well. Did we open for Warren Zeevon or did you open for Warren Zeevon? And I went up with July 3, 1986, a Thursday. That was amazing. And like schmucks, we didn't stick around to watch the rest of this show. Can you imagine? Yeah, I watched some of it. Yeah, but we were young and we wanted to go do sets elsewhere. That was the only guy, the only music guy I've ever owned for was him, twice. I do remember that, yeah. Did he request you? I doubt it. I think Bob Fisher probably got it. Bobby Bitter, you opened for the Pope, didn't you? 1964, Yankee Stadium. Pope's making his first visit to America. Lyndon B. Johnson asked me to open for him. I said, I'll do it as a favor. I normally headline Yankee Stadium, 80,000 people. I goes out. The place is going nuts. Stucco's coming off the ceiling. They had to bring out a high school band from New Jersey just to calm the crowd down. I go backstage. The Pope's waiting to go on. I walked up to his whole innocence and said, follow that, motherfucker. Hard to believe this didn't become a cartoon. Now, do you know where follow that motherfucker comes from? I just remembered. I do. Who came from another comic. Went on to become very successful. He did very well. Yeah, Chris Titus. I don't think he meant it in a hostile way, do you? He was just very amped up when he was young and it was kind of funny. But I think he was, he gets so caught up. Follow that. He'd come up and say, follow that, motherfucker. And then that became the thing. Whenever we were introducing a friend of ours, like you, please welcome Larry Bubbles Brown. You'd come up and we'd whisper and teach others. You follow that motherfucker. Follow that, motherfucker. Oh my God. And then we all mentioned his name, but there was a very successful young comic who's no longer with us. We were sitting one night at the punch line on Walnut Creek and he was young and attractive and he was on his way up. And do you remember what he said to us? No. If I find myself your age and at that stage of a career, do you remember this? This is like 25 years ago. He would say. I remember someone saying, I don't want to be doing this at your age. At your level, at your age and your level. Oh boy. Anyway, where are you going to perform tonight? Where am I? Uh, I am not performing. Okay. Larry Bubbles Brown.com. Yes, I've got a website on I'm on dial up. It's Larry Bubbles Brown.com and people friends you on Facebook, right? People friend me on Facebook, send me nasty. Somebody sent me a message. I don't know. Someone said, uh, you're a nosy little bastard. We just got out. We just got bail and we're going to get you. And I thought, oh, that sounds like a threat. So I, I send that the faith. So I send this a report at the Facebook. This is not against our policy. No. Really? All right. So after this show, there's going to be 10 more of those type of letters. If you want to visit Larry Bubbles Brown, he lives on Claremont Avenue in San Francisco, 1513 Claremont Avenue apartment to be. That's it. All right. Yeah. Do you have any more? Uh, can we try one more plane crash? Okay. You're not doing. Are you still good with baseball stats? I haven't followed. I can name every world series of results since 1920, but I don't follow the game anymore. So boring. All right. So the numbers have to have three, not four in them. Right. Uh, let me look for a good one. A lot of dead people. Oh, well, this is interesting. Flight 1713. That would be another express flight. That was the continental airlines flight that we saw in Denver, Colorado, November 1st, 1987. Do you know where it was heading? Um, I think it was heading to the Bay Area. Close. Boise. And okay. And we all love Boise in the Bay Area. Who doesn't, who doesn't need some Boise in the Bay? Okay, uh, let me find you a good one. Buy me a good one. I want to make sure my brain's still working. There hasn't been a, hasn't been a commercial crash in here for since 01. The big one. Really? Yeah. There's that, uh, right for 9-11, there's one in November that crashed in New York City. Very suspicious. Let's see. Uh, oh my God. I didn't know this. Here's talking about suspicion. Oh my God. Yeah. This can't be right. April 5th, 1991. April 5th, 1991. That was not many people died. Right. Was an entertainer involved? This is why it's strange. No. A politician. Oh, uh, that was, uh, it was one of the, it was a senator. It was Heinz or Tower. Tower, yeah. Who was supposed to be Bush's defense secretary, but he was kind of a pig when it came to women, right? He was a sex machine. Well, he's a senator, they have to be. He's a powerful man. He's a powerful man. He died? That was it. Yeah, go ahead. And Heinz died in, uh, playing cries like a, within a month of that too. And John Kerry married his widow. Mm-hmm. Thank you. You know how they got him out of, uh, the fuselage? You, you said. Well, I did the joke. Come on. Kerry put a little catch up on the fries, if you know what I mean. Pop, pop, pop. No, Heinz, Senator Heinz of Pennsylvania died in a plane accident. They couldn't get him out of the fuselage. They had to keep tapping the bottom with a knife. That is the bottom of the fuselage. We always got him. Here you go. Ah, that's so stupid. I don't think I've ever, I don't think I've ever made a good joke on this show. But John Tower, I didn't know that John Tower was killed in a plane accident, along with astronauts. Those two were like, within a month of each other, yeah. And who was president in 1991? Yeah. It was George. George Herbert Walker Bush was president. Bush. Yeah. Hmm. Interesting that he would be president. Two Republican senators? Wasn't Heinz a Republican and John Tower was a Republican? Yeah. Interesting. Interesting. How did E. Howard Hunt's wife die? She died in the December 72 plane crash at Midway Airport in Chicago. With, she had over $10,000 in cash on her, which was a lot of money at the time. And who was head of the CIA at the time? I'm making crap up. I think George Herbert Walker Bush was ambassador to China at the time. That was E. Howard Hunt's wife. And who else was on that plane? A reporter for CBS. Cheryl Sutton. Very, very good. Michelle Clark. And was she investigating Watergate? I believe she was. Really? More. Do you think there's a connection? Wink. What do you think? E. Howard Hunt. Suddenly, this is turning to the parallax view. This more talk conspiracy? I don't think he believes in, well, we should ask him, right? Yeah. Larry Bubbles ran one more. Okay. Got a good one. One more we won't get. So it's got to have three numbers in it. Gonna have three numbers and a lot of death. April 21st, 1958. Geez, I'll pay for my time. Need more information? Need more information. United Airlines Flight 736, April 21st, 1958. Yeah, I wouldn't know that one. I'll give you some more hints. A F-100 Super Saber fighter. So it was a collision. Las Vegas. Never heard of that one. United Airlines Flight 736 collides with U.S. Air Force F-100 Super Saber fighter on a training mission near Las Vegas on April 21st, 1958. 47 on board, passed away. Cause of... Walk out again. Cause of crash? George Herbert Walker Bush. He's... Not gonna do it. Is there a black box on a glider? No. It'd be very expensive. All right, buddy. We ended on a high note. Let me get one more. We ended like the Bobby Bitter Show I did. Just kind of tailing the nothing. People pissed off. Oh, tell the one we did at the Holy City Zoo. For New Year's Eve. Don't you remember that? Yeah. Night Rikki Nelson died. In a... Blank crash. That was owned by George. Ha ha ha ha. Wasn't there like a rumor... Where did he crash? Did he crash in Texas? I don't know where it was. I thought there was a rumor that might have been some drugs. The rumor was, and even back then I knew it couldn't possibly be true, that he was free-basing on a flight and the plane caught fire from free-basing. Yeah, that didn't happen. Remember, but that's what we were told. Yeah. But, you know... What year did Rikki Nelson die? December 31st, 1985. And we performed at the Holy City Zoo then the ha ha go go. And the audience hated us. We did a double act, right? Well, they had... It was a New Year's Eve show and they thought Bob Fisher was managing Bobby Bitter. Thought it would be a great idea to have me and you come on at midnight. So they bring us on at midnight. And they handed out the... They gave the noise, man. Yeah, they handed out the noise. So everyone's going crazy, nobody else. No one's listening. We're playing Viva Las Vegas. We come out. We're eating it for like five minutes. I think I'd had enough. So at one point I just said, fuck you people. Happy fucking New Year. I walked off stage. And you dropped the mic. Dropped the mic. I started a trend. Usually you're supposed to do that when it's going well, I hear, but... We walk off stage, nobody cared. Bob Fisher put up Viva Las Vegas again to play us off. Oh, don't you remember what I said? No. Oh, you were laughing for years after that. We do five minutes. The crowd won't stop waving those noise makers. And you go, fuck this shit. And you throw the mic down and go, happy fucking New Year. And don't you remember what I said? No. Bobby Bitter, everybody. Wasn't he great? Bobby Bitter. I try to get you an applause. Bobby Bitter, everybody. Like it's all part of the act. Yeah. So we got into trouble, right? People won their money back. Nobody was happy. Nobody was happy. You can't go on at midnight on New Year's. God, that was a bad call. We've ruined a lot of people's. Evenings. Absolutely. Including our own. And you went with Feldo the Clown. You said I played a doctor's house once. The private party, a birthday party for some doctor. The really probably Los Altos, some nice expensive place down there off 280. And you started doing, God, you're doing politics and. In the clown suit. In the clown suit. Smoking a cigar and drinking. He didn't like it. I remember, I mean, I'm in a kitchen. I think I'm in a kitchen eating. One of the women come in and go, this is not going. I remember that I needed, I needed the money. I needed the, I just, I remember the guy hated me and I was drinking his scotch and smoking a cigar. And I'm in the bozo suit and he's got these rich doctors. And I'm attacking Reagan thinking, I need this money. I got to keep going. And they just, they go, what the F is this? And what happened? I'm looking for the M&M's. Huh? I'm looking for the M&M's. I forget how I just remember driving down there with you and we left, we got paid. So it worked out. It worked out. I also remember doing Feldo the Clown with my girlfriend who became my wife. I did somebody's house in Berkeley as the clown. Mm-hmm. That didn't go well, right? That didn't go well. But you coined a great phrase. You kept telling my then girlfriend that I was impotent. You're impotent and then I felt guilty on the way home. So I said, but even impotent, you're better than most guys are hard. You can just put it in soft and grind your head. You'll be happy. You, this became the catch phrase. Davey's better soft than most men are hard. For three years, we would just walk around going, Davey is better soft than most men are hard. I would be introduced. Our next comic is better soft than most men are hard. Please put it together. Please put your hands together for David. That was you trying to smooth things over with my girlfriend, telling her I'm impotent. And then you apologize. Be going, Davey's better soft than most men are hard. Like this is going to make it better. Stay on the line for one second. You're listening to highlights from the David Feldman show, heard nationwide on Pacifica Radio, or as a podcast on iTunes, Stitcher, and now YouTube. Please subscribe to this channel. For more information, go to davidfeldmanshow.com. Thank you for listening.