 To a skull and she was like flopping all about a little bit. It was pretty good Episode 24 we've just come back from Los Angeles We haven't done a podcast for about three weeks and we sort of forgotten how to do it You wouldn't believe this shit that's happened in LA hectic hectic hectic with this week We have a we have a special guest waiting in the in the shadows. He's behind a curtain right now getting ready He's naked. Yeah, he's Saw his willy and he'll be coming on later. I'm not even gonna tell you who it is, but he'll be coming. It's Nigel month Oh, yeah. All right on this day in 1692 Five people were hanged for witchcraft We've got a in Salem and guaranteed if Michael was alive during that time he would a hundred percent have been hung I wouldn't have died though. Yeah, we've we've tried to hang Michael before I've come into his room in the morning and He's just been hanging there and I was like, what are you doing dude? And he's like, oh man, apparently like this like kills you. Yeah, I was a rough Well, you know that week was pretty rough for me, but yeah, his face was a bit red But it was fine. Yeah, and then he just sort of pulled himself out of it slivered out of it The snake that he is Matthew Perry the actor from the TV show friends. Happy birthday. He's a regular viewer of this So happy birthday Matthew. It was good to catch up in LA mate. I hope you enjoy the gift We left you on the on the front porch Don't don't eat it all at once Don't don't eat it all Happy birthday Matthew. Oh Shit and of course Bill Clinton. So he has watched a few episodes as well He's commented on our on your YouTube yet murderer. So president Bill Clinton Bill Clinton's a murderer mad respect brother Mad respect and happy fucking birthday. My man. All right. So yeah, we've been in LA We we got back about a week ago and LA was pretty nuts But we're gonna save the bulk of the stories for story time, okay But all you need to know about LA is that things take time. Oh America everything takes time you fucking go to buy a beer it takes time you go to pay for something It takes time you fucking want to go on a tour it takes time You just have to fucking do like all these computer work for every time you want to pay for something And then you've got to tip them they bring another receipt back and then you got to sign that it's 2019 get your shit together you go to a restaurant they instead of just like bringing you the bill and then You pay and that's it They bring you this leather-bound thing with three bills in it the customer copy their copy and Something else and then they leave that there and then they walk off again Even though I have my card ready to give to them so that they can take the card put it in the Leather-bound folder and take that away. No, they don't do that They drop it and walk away straight away for 10 minutes So you're sitting there with the card looking at the bill and then they come back and then they take the card And then they come back again, and you have to sign and say how much you want to tip What the fuck do I have to sign for everything I go to 7-eleven buy a four-dottle bottle of water And I'd they'd hand me a receipt and I'd have to sign it and hand it It's a it's a bottle of water ridiculous. Yeah, I don't know. I was pretty good though There were some pretty cool things about LA and overall we we gave the trip a 6.5 out of 10 which brings us to our second segment which has been renamed Of course in this segment we just answer fan questions, so Michael pull out the fan questions. Let's have a read this one's from to greedy alex underscore He's asked how are you able to deal with the pain? It's it's it's simply because that we're really tough manly men, and we don't fucking Like pains just fucking nothing a and if you show weakness and crying shit, you're a fucking pussy Can't don't fucking crying shit if you feel a bit of pain just fucking ignore it Pussies that's what I've learned in my short time on the earth. Just if you feel pain just fucking fucking ignore You fucking dumb cunt physical pains temporary because you just fuck save you get hit with a golf ball It like hurts for I know 30 seconds, and then you're back to normal He's have a like a massive bruise there for like five days after Which hurts a little bit, but don't touch the bruise Leave it alone, and you're fine We're just some of the best entertainers the world has ever seen so we're able to Put up with more pain. I think that's the uh I'm the scientific reasoning I'd back that up. Yeah Jerick co underscore with a double o on the end. He's asked have you guys ever went to each other's dicks? Well, I don't know There was a time in germany when we were touring around with our with our friends that in germany There's just 24. There's just a porn channel on tv and we were upstairs in my grandmother's house On the margar and it was dark and we all had our own little separate beds And we just had the porn on And we're all just we all just will be watching porn and one of us I just have a wank every now and then and if I can walk out and come back in It was a lonely week like there was we're in a time. It wasn't lonely. We chose to do that Yeah, yeah, well, we didn't have any girls because it was like a 200 population town. There's no people there. No bars. Nothing. Yeah, that's no excuse No, no group of grown men should do that, but we did and we called it batfest Yeah, we we should have saved this for a story. I don't think so many batfest. No, there's no way we should have saved that for a story Saunders are your podcasts the best Well, obviously if he's asking that he knows yes, they are the best We might not get the most views and listens or good positive feedback or anyone saying anything nice about it But at the end of the day, we know that they're the best you the person was that probably know that it's the best We are the best So it's just natural like whatever we do it really is the best So of course the podcast is going to be the best The the fame will come later. Maybe any of even if it doesn't we're doing this for the love of it We're not it sucks. We're not getting any money next question All right next one is from orbs underscore priv dot two Do your neighbors get concerned for your well-being when they hear the sounds that you make or are doing In a challenge or prank or podcast We have had some Fuck off fights with neighbors. Oh, yeah My god and fair enough for things they would hear there's been times when Jackson and Michael have been playing Fucking Xbox in here and the doors are all open the neighbors are like three meters away and the profanity Oh, so So much hatred just threatening each other's lives and and and just hardcore hatred Really really like insulting words. We have had yeah like and because we're renting Like the landlord see the videos and it's just fucked The neighbors hate us everyone just everyone who lives in like a Half a kilometer radius just fucking hate. Yeah, like we take the dog out like walking and like we don't use a leash for Bosley because he's a human being pretty much He walks on his two hind legs and like people get so mad at us because he we never have him on a fucking leash Fuck off. We'll do what we want with him Next one's from sizzle led underscore underscore. Who is youtuber? They want to collab with I don't mind I'm fucking a massive fan of willam power feet. Yeah, there's a funny looking up on instagram He is probably the funniest dude in australia. There's there are there are very funny people That we would like to collab with but there's no one that really sticks out brandon dot willams What are the thoughts of your parents where you are our parents? I guess have come around more than they used to they didn't understand they don't understand Well, I think they've just given up really like yeah, but mum is still very resistant still wants me to go to university that's sick That's sick man. Yeah, tell me about it. Yeah, she would prefer that I went to university and finished my primary school teaching degree Jesus, but yeah, it's it's I guess it is hard for her to explain to her other old older friends and yeah Mum's embarrassed of me. She doesn't tell anyone what I do Sometimes mum just pretends that she only has one son my older brother. Yeah, or she says on I only have one son All right, the next segment has been uh, renamed Oh man, my right eardrum hurts and basically in this segment We just tell an old story to this one since nigah's on the show We'll tell the story of the first time we met Nigel fucking month. All right, so um, nigel used to work for uh, logan law And he was doing uh, you know some social media work for them and working with some other influencers and filming like some Just some social media videos and basically they were trying to find like it was like logan's got talent or something What was the premise of it was like? Yeah, well, well jacob jacob, uh an old friend of ours Uh teed this up and I remember him calling me and saying hey, do you guys want to be involved in this? You can literally say and do whatever you want and then I said to him What do you mean? Whatever we want like surely there's got to be some sort of comedic boundary And he said no, dude And of course our eyes lit up. I'm like holy shit. We can say and do whatever the fuck we want That was like heaven. Yeah, and he was just like so Enthusiastic and was just so persistent and saying we can do whatever the fuck we want So you go up and you perform for a couple of minutes as a panel of judges one of which was nigel And then you like and then you know, they judge you or whatever So we had in our minds that we were going to do a a rap So I was like a weird song dance thing about selling Pingers, which is ecstasy pills. I I I was just fucking clicking spoons with our pants like up to our tits But we had some surprise props as well. I had a um, was it you had the knife? You had the knife I had a knife and michael had um previously before we went on stage put a condom on his dick And I put pump soap into it to look like I'd blown in it So like I'll play you through the song I I don't show my dick, but I ripped the condom off and like just fling it on the ground Anyway, we started performing michael slapping his spoons. I'm singing about pingers and then michael rips his um Used condom off and slaps it onto the ground. I'll pull a knife out and you got did you get aggressive on me? Yeah, I push you. Yeah. Yeah, you pushed me onto the ground. I don't know you on me like threatening We could see that the the judges were like, what the fuck is this? But I thought it was all part of the show. So we remained in character Yeah, yeah, yeah, and like I just remember I had a tolly I spilled beer everywhere all over the fucking carpet And I felt terrible about that after but this is all because like I was just I just because jake had said Do whatever you want and and you were so convincing by saying yeah Do whatever you want that I thought that everyone knew that we were going to be super super offensive Yeah, we were we were very disgusting. There were kids in there. I'm pretty sure and I'm pulling out condoms off my dick You know, you've done an offensive thing when justin ryan comes up to you after and um and praises you and was he was really impressed So that's that's the first time we met justin ryan. I think the first time we met I'm at nigel first time we met justin ryan first time we met tray anderson and first time we met jamie zoo Yeah, and then we put on that show in front of all of those people the women judges I remember were they your friends they fucking hate it was yeah, it was like We were disgusting when we realized that we all we done was just offend a whole room of people We were it's pretty embarrassing, but now you live you learn and then you live you learn and you're rapping You do bloody drugs and ping and here we are fucking condom on And that's that um that's story time for our next segment It has not been renamed segment for Nigel munt cunt in brackets, which of course is the guest Nigel munt on our show quick introduction Nigel munt a lot of you probably know him he's been in our videos very uh smart clever man who was wrongly imprisoned for sexually assaulting a bus driver in brisbane and he's come out and he's made uh the broncos team he's fulfilled his lifelong ambition he's he was imprisoned for eight years he came out kept training proved his innocence while he was in jail got out actually made the broncos played professional football for another four years and now he's homeless welcome Nigel munt hello mate i'm so good what have you been doing uh just keeping keeping things moving along living the dream we we see you filming some cheeky new little videos now mucking around a little bit more again yeah i had about a year off yeah we missed you everything why why how can we get a year off just had a few other things going on and i just sort of thought it was uh better to uh be under the radar for a while so i just stopped doing videos and just sort of went off social media for the last year but happy to be back mucking around again but now yeah now you're out from underneath the radar yeah and you're on it yeah i'm in the radar you're on the blip you are the radar you are a radar exactly exactly Nigel munt the radar the radar we like to um you know do the um the swipe ups and shit like that and a lot of people are like oh you fucking because a lot you've you fucking Nigel knows like every single influence in Australia and they all do it and um a lot of people message you know is this a fucking scam what is this shit but really it's not a scam it's the smartest fucking everyone oh my god remember all this shit you got when you started doing this like what i like about the way we do what we do now is you get to talk to people who wouldn't engage with the lawyer so they don't you know the people that wouldn't do it so i mean what i like more than anything is finding somebody who's got a claim uh i'll be meaning to do something about it and they don't actually ever get around to doing it so they see this and they can find out what it's about and um yeah that's that's what's good we've babysit your kids yeah yeah that was good yeah do they still like do they talk about yeah yeah they had a great night they're fun they're doing really well we did have fun yeah they're gonna yeah they could be social media people if they want to yeah on the call he's a uh a real character the little girl she's very funny yeah what do they think of the social media yeah they like it i think they get they don't get too carried away with it you know like jackson came to liam's footy game on saturday and you know it's sort of like few of the other kids are like staring like they'd seen a ghost but like you know those kids don't get too excited about it they kind of find it funny yeah do they get like do they get are they like more popular in school i don't think so not so oh i don't know i some of the kids you know know know about the connection but i don't think not so much you know yeah fuck yeah which is a shame yeah well that's why you do it oh for fame and fortune so fuck mary kill um me michael jackson who would you fuck who would you marry who would you kill jackson i would kill i definitely everyone says that i mean i got a long hair again he's so he's so he's so he's definitely fuck michael again he's so petite and elegant i can picture that yeah what about the hair yeah i know it's something to grab a hold of some of the bloody grab a hold of just thrusting your hips forwards and kill oh no i'm killing jackson yeah yeah so was that a marry michael marry mary mary sorry mary we should do a video let's do that would you get would you get married to mary for a vid like legally yeah i think that'd be a great idea yes that would be a good sign because now you got like the whole gay wedding stuff why not does it affect you legally if you if we got married would there be any repercussions we got married one week then the next week we got divorced i don't think so just stay married but like what's not really married but don't you have to be like separated for a year or some shit and then oh to get divorced yeah i think you have to be separated for a year so yeah because if we wanted to marry someone else we would we would have to be separated yeah yeah otherwise but other than that there's no legal problems no we need like that you guys could get married you guys should get married marty and michael get married we'll livestream the wedding or even just change our names as well there's definitely some legal repercussions there though what do you mean if you change if i change my name to the best they're like if i wanted to travel overseas or you know renew my license and shit like that that fucks you up wouldn't i reckon no because you have to you have to prove like your old name in your passport you'd have to get a new fucking license you'd have to get all the new shit it just cost a bit but yeah that's a great idea we're doing that totally known as hey i'm the best yeah what's your name other other names the best yeah you don't yeah you cut your last name out you've just got one name and it's yeah all right so some questions for nigel this one's from willam power fish he's asked i want to know how many men nigel has endured in his lifetime thank you i want to know that too can i just answer by saying not enough although i had a wonderful time with willam down by the main after fishing i can see you guys are you gonna be like really powerful fucking sex yeah like be really like really short powerful bursts of fuck and like and twisting each other's heads around and tongue in each other's faces oh really really passionate short bursts of fuck i would i would pay to see that so what you know when your grandma whose grandmother was at the house wanking my grandmother what did she think well she didn't know i hope she didn't know we were in the attic is she a fat does she watch the podcast no no thank god if she is she thank god she's dead i know yet but she's she's hanging in there but i would never tell her what we're doing that no one tell anyone about batfest if you're listening to this don't tell anyone that that's germany didn't happen god and it's just a group of group of close mates sitting in a room with their blankets over him it there's the lights are on how old were you 21 and then just point we just put porn on because we thought it was funny what else we there was nothing to do with that stupid yeah but they think about it all the cartoons would have been in german yeah exactly they couldn't they couldn't fucking understand a word exactly i was the only one who could understand because you don't need to speak german to understand what is happening when a man is plowing a woman and so we just be all sitting on our separate beds it was a big attic and yeah we all had different beds we turned the lights off so we couldn't see why i watched a few of you's come because i just wanted to quit but we couldn't see each other fucking coming and then like yeah you just once you finish you go to the bathroom clean yourself back up and then come and do it again i'm not sure about this this will hurt our brand our image will be tarnished have you had one podcast not one podcast is monetized on youtube not one so well every single one is struck where every single one is demonetized uh instantly as soon as i upload before it's even live so they can't possibly have watched it i think it's because all of our previous videos are demonetized so the default setting is demonetized now hey do you know when i became a kind of powerlifter and i started posting me doing powerlifting videos fuck it was bad for my mental state you know i had like 28 000 followers on instagram and every time i would post a video of me powerlifting one i'd go for like 28 to 26 you'd lose that many ah they were i was like i remember that block of muscle i meant to unfollow that fuck no it's because they they're expecting fucking you to bloody shave your eyebrows or to tattoo jackson's dress and walk down the fucking street or to tattoo jackson's face on your shoulder that's what they're expecting you got the reputation of just i still even remember jackson like just raving and being like there's nothing that you won't do and it's so impressive because now i don't know now we've got a bit to lose i'm so i sort of hold back a bit i don't want to i don't want to fucking go blind you know no i don't do that yeah because now there's just we have so much money and cash and fame and fortune for followers and that yeah marty was going to cut his pinky off for 50 10 grand no it was 50 there was a there was a time i i started a go fund me i was going to cut my pinky off live for $50,000 but as soon as i posted the idea on our facebook on our old facebook page it got so much hate and everyone was like this is too far man this is disgusting nothing's too far quickly deleted it when's your birthday 6th of may i'm the 7th of may i'm the 19th of may oh my fucking god we should totally have a joint party it's Nigel's 50th next year so we'll definitely be there can you believe it that's fucked Nigel's 50 years old 20 years ago no one would have expected you to make it to 50 hopefully 20 years ago i was not a big drinker big bad eater i don't know when did you stop drinking i haven't drunk haven't had a single mouthful for i know two years now oh so i still got ages i quit drinking the first time ever when i was about 45 46 and then i went a year without drinking and then i started reminisce on my drinking days more fondly than perhaps was accurate and i was thinking you know i wasn't that bad maybe you should you know what are you doing get back into it son but alcohol was never your your main yeah but it was not good terrible mind you i have shocking addiction i have massive yeah yeah like i i sort of quit coffee there a few weeks ago and i thought well i won't drink coffee i'll stop that all together and i'll start drinking green tea i remember he said and i was drinking fucking green tea like i was drinking by the later by the later and i was getting in there and i was walking out the box of gaviscon and i was just gobbing them and drinking green tea and what's gaviscon about that hard drink green tea so much green tea might be such a bad yeah i was going to a coffee shop you know near our old gym and i'd say i want to buy an hour's worth of green tea because i don't want to fucking pay by the cops or keep fucking coming and i'll be here for an hour see what else i know it's about Michael today he's a very um he's a solid eater isn't he i'm about michael's eating that's worth it michael is going through a stage where enough no no food will satisfy him he'll order he'll always been like this haven't you no yeah but now like i know that you're rich no no yeah now that he's rich now that he has a disposable amount of money things have changed he'll order some food if he doesn't like the first few bites he'll discard it and order something else anyway orders a handful of meals it's not the money it's just like okay i've abused food so bad because i like only eat like 10 meals in life you know pizza fucking chicken snitzels and now when i have made the other seven fucking pizza did i say pizza so there's really probably only four well i had to reschedule today okay it's five and okay i also enjoy pasta i love pasta six garlic bread six and a half i wouldn't even call that a food um it's fucking more or less a reschedule without the fucking tomato and yeah but now since i've had every meal so many times the ones that i can eat i've abused them so much that i can't enjoy them but so if it's not like a 10 out of 10 version of that meal then i am over it no you're not gonna come any shit but but it's also the main thing that's why you're having fucking bruschetta it's 100% also because we used to be super poor and you used to starve yourself for two days and then you get a pizza and it didn't matter if it tasted slightly off you'd fucking eat it because you only had five dollars in your wallet now you know if you don't like something 100% you have the option to discard it it's nice to know that i can like buy another meal like you saw today i had a few bites and it was shit so then i bought another one i had a few bites it was shit then we went the tomato wasn't cut thin enough yeah yeah you know god did you give you a fucking taste it's like you know people have their fucking OCD things and that's my thing is i fucking food if it doesn't look good or the way i want it to look i don't want to fucking eat it yeah yeah i'll eat dog shit like that yeah human piss yeah i've actually eaten my own shit we did we said that in a story he has eaten his own shit eating dog shit eating drink give him a bruschetta with thickly cut tomato and you got yourself a problem fella yeah we'll cut like don't just cut a baby cherry a baby cherry tomato cherry that's pretty fucking baby cherry all right i'm gonna fuck off now we're gonna go and get on the train yeah all right catching the train home no you know you really oh yeah why not you know i imagine if you go on joe rogan you're probably gonna fucking glimmo but i'm not expecting a lot here tonight ladies and gentlemen i don't be fucking lucky to get home i'm hoping not to get stabbed at this sleeping with me i'm just hoping not to get stabbed no we can we can hundred percent order an uber for you we're going to order an uber for you we're not gonna cut this part out we're not yeah catch a fucking train i run out i love you all right that's that nice your month nice you nice you nice yeah next segment and it has not been renamed it is just prank call and for this week's prank call i will be disagreeing with the domino's worker whatever they say i'll be i'll be just flat out saying no that's not right and we'll see what happens yeah it's it's good it's a good idea it's it's it's a it's a great idea series call fucking you know domino's um hey can i just um or uh place a pickup uh order please um there's there's this value range pieces you guys have is there is there's a pizza called the um the beef and onion or something how much is that pizza again uh no that's not that's not correct i'm just after that beef and onion pizza but that's not the the price you said that's not correct what's the price uh the price is five dollars oh it's only five dollars yeah no it uh it didn't uh it didn't change still it's still five dollars do you have a code for that no no no i don't have a code but i just i just know that it hasn't it hasn't changed yet all right is that the price hasn't changed it's changed you know it hasn't it hasn't it hasn't changed is there like a um some sort of special guys have like with the sides can i get a um like a a drink a drink and a and a side two sides for seven ninety five no that's that's uh that's not correct oh that's just not the um that's not the price um i think it was about five dollars or something didn't you know that that wasn't the um correct price it hasn't been that for for ages so that's not right um sorry what was your name no that's not that's not your name kyler come on come on that's that's not your name can i can i speak to someone else if you're gonna if you're gonna play games kyler is not kyler is not your name if you want to play games can you put someone else on please thank you hey mate um i'm just um after the uh value pizza the um the beef and onion and i'm also after the um the drink and the uh the garlic bread the um the sides deal that you have uh no that's that's that's not correct the the um the price and just just the words that you use then is not correct no i don't have any vouchers but i just know that um what you're saying is isn't right um the um the system is wrong it's not it's not right and um if um excuse me excuse me ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha oh they got me hard dude they got me hard well done glad that they hung in there for a while because usually they fucking hang up we've pranked that girl before kyler yeah kyler we've pranked kyler many times i've heard i'd say two or three other times she's answered and we've she's had to deal with that shit all right guys that's the end of episode 24 make sure you tell your fucking friends about this shit otherwise get fucked you fucking dogs don't ever fucking watch your shit without fucking liking and commenting and fucking sharing your fucking dog fuckwits don't fucking come around our joint and fucking talking shit like you fucking own the joint i'll fucking leave you i'll fucking own it cunt don't fucking come around here and dog off my mom you nutbag bitch fuck it up cunt we're the best we're the best we're the best we're the best we're the best we're the best we're the best we're the best