 I was in Europe and I just had this urge to show surrogates where they refused to sell us. It was kind of like some of these classic virtual reality things about where they have human beings and basically decided to stay in the comfort of their own home. They have surrogate bodies that do everything for them. Basically the whole world is populated with surrogates. No humans go out, everyone, humans just stay in. The whole world is just surrogates. Surrogates go to work for them and interact. They always can pick younger versions and more fit versions and stronger versions. They don't have to be concerned about catching diseases or getting in fights or anything like that. They just get their surrogate repaired. It's a way to escape fear really without letting it go, to minimize fear. It's a trend a lot of times when technology develops to try to use technology magically to minimize fear but don't let it go, which is what all defense mechanism is. That's what makes it such a seductive trick because minimizing fear seems like a good deal. You have the mind that if you think it's a good deal because as long as you don't let it go then he goes okay with minimizing it. So anyway, I thought of this movie recently and this one, The Hero of the Dream, he's in this game and he has a faint memory of a life outside the game which triggers back to this memory of his wife and I think it's his daughter, maybe, his wife and his child. So there's a memory of love that kind of keeps him going because it's very, very difficult for him in this game. He's like a great warrior so people watch the game, the game of the world because they like to see him in combat and how he keeps going. But it's really his determination to get back to the love that keeps him going because he gets very exhausted in the game which has a lot of parallels with this world where if you get all caught up in the game and you forget that it's a game then it just gets exhausting, it gets repetitive, it gets heavy. It just feels like you know that it's not reality but there's no contact, there's no direct contact with reality so the frustration is there to go. But there's a tension with forgetting it's a game and trying to play out the game because then you try to play out the game and play a perfect game or be a good game player or a good participant. There was a line, I remember watching surrogates there. There was a line where I just froze the movie when I was over in Amsterdam because it was like when there's a fear of looking within then you try to escape the fear through the puppet. And that's really how the game seems to start was the attempt to escape from fear and underneath that escape from fear is this huge fear of love, of divine love which is way out of awareness. Humans are not aware of it, none of the religions are aware of it, it's just an enormous fear of love and then it's like trying to use the puppet to escape from the fear. That's what surrogates was really all about. And in this sense, same with this movie, he's trying to use the puppet to escape from fear and the memory of home kind of keeps calling him and he just has a strong, strong determination to actually somehow escape the game but he just doesn't know how and of course he's going to need collaboration and mighty companions to do it. So that really relates to all of our methods of joining and collaborations and that's the only way he's got a chance of getting out of this game. So at some point he's going to start to be open to the science. Also, this is a very, very, very graphic movie and it's good, sometimes after you've watched some meditation movies like the one we watched earlier, it's good to have some really heavy-duty graphic mind-washings and you know, just take Matrix and knock it up about five levels in a Matrix and then you get a mind-watcher of a good caliber. So that's what I particularly like about this one. It's a great mind-watcher. So, okay. He's literally being played, literally being played. Yeah, almost like that kind of feeling of not being able to escape. He's being played and he knows it. Like he can't even make his moves. And yet, it's still possible. And it's like I was saying to David earlier, it's like focus, so we talked about focus but this is even going beyond the focus to the desire. That like in the end, that's just going to speed it up and then the desire. It's like that's all. Yeah, he's got the big heart. Yeah, yeah. And it's intense but it's like there's something that keeps... It's like even when he's in the game and he's being played, there's something even stronger than that. It's like much, much stronger. And it's a violent game. Yeah, it's a game like hardcore violence. So, yeah. But he's rugged. He's very rugged. Okay, I guess we'll go for it and then maybe we'll have a nice discussion afterwards. Right, right. If we feel to pause then... Yeah, if there's any points, if anybody feels to... Like whoa! We can always try it. It's a trip. Yeah, it's kind of like a little bit like the born identity or born ultimatum. And so he's going for it like really, really, really. And yet there's still like a program running. But yet there's something even deeper. Yeah, it's good about that. Like he's being played so there's symbolic of like a subconscious mind. No matter how determined you are as a human being, as long as you have a subconscious programming running underneath, you're not going to really be free. You're not going to have a free mind until that comes up. So this is all just a backdrop for his really subconscious mind coming up. That's the journey through the darkness to the light. Yeah. Sounds good. Yeah, it all sets up the final scene for the desire part. Yeah. Truth will be returned to your awareness by your desire. As it was lost by your desire for something else. It's like everywhere I look it's just like it's... I don't know it's just everywhere like we just talked the other day. It's just everywhere. It's coming that it's like kind of... I was saying that for a while there was this... I think there was a bit of letting go of kind of like got to go fast or like I think there's like a going of got to get there. Right? And then there's almost like it's like actually it's backwards. So it's like even the idea of like got to go forward. It's like forward where it's like it's almost like backwards or stop, stop, stop and stop like completely stop. It's like there's nowhere to go. Right? And so even like the thought of speeding something up. It's like who wants to speed anything up? Like it just has to like almost like there was this space of non-compromise with that and whatever it is, whatever it's given. It's like slow, slow for hope. Like slow, what is fast then? And then yeah, compared to what? Since when do you like slow? Like since when do you know anything? It's like it's so linear. It's just like such a like it was such a deep wash of linear. And so it felt like it was almost like it felt like that idea of fast or getting there. It just like was just gone and there's just a natural settling. It was just gone. Like even in my mind it was like I forgot about all about it. And all of a sudden I keep kind of like everywhere like in my mind like everywhere what's been reflected like now, now that that's gone. Now the real way to speed it up is getting in touch with the desire. Like beyond it all like even like beyond the steps, beyond, beyond everything. It's just it even beyond the focus. It's getting in touch with the desire. It's just like that's what truly is going to speed it up. And then otherwise it's like yeah, like I was just saying this like spirit is artistic. I'm every day I just see this artful show the way the guidance, the way it's led. It's just like you can't comprehend it. It's just like that ego has no chance. And it's like if like if there's just willingness to follow the guidance, spirit knows how the way to do it. Even like things that I need to play out. Like I was saying it's so generous. It's like have it all be, but it's all for forgiveness. For the mind to learn something. And so well still that's what there's one, sometimes there's a process still happening and things like are still seemingly playing out. That's okay and spirits got it. And yet if there's like if like in terms of speed up it's like it's the it comes down to that desire beyond it all. That's the only way. Like to really almost like to put an end to it in a way. So yeah, I think in this one it's like yeah, the desire. Yeah, it hits that desire. Yeah, it's cool. There are those that teach you know you have to you have to maximize you still desire in the world. But it just like flips it and it does the big flip on it. Because it's not really that. You know it can't be that you maximize anything desiring of the world because that's still like a mastery through fear. Trying to do that. But it's only mastery through love that works. So it's yeah. You're asking the course workbook which my mind holds only what I think with God or the truth is true. Only the truth is true. All those lessons I'm as God created me. You know it's a real focus in the course with those lessons. It's like it gives you all these undue, undue, undue. And then it says now rivet in what you want. And really rivet in that that's where those lessons are there. You know that's really what's given over to really go for it. The focus part is more like just watching your mind and attentiveness but this is more of a just turn your full desire to what it is that you truly want. The name of God is my inheritance. Those lessons too where you can safely use the name of God to replace all the nameless names that were made to take the place. That's the same kind of thing. It's just turn it to that. So then it becomes more a path of devotion to only that or be only that is even better than to only that, be only that. It's good with this movie because he just kept going, going and going and going and going but then that scene where the character is singing I've got you under my skin almost always gets back to the chamber of the one that seems to be pulling the strings. You have to go beyond that too and say do I want that? Yeah and it's almost like it feels like I must say like these days it feels like the one that's singing that song I've got you under my skin it actually feels like it's powerful whatever that is and it's powerful. It's almost like I've been feeling that almost like yeah it's like something takes over and it's dark and it just will do what it wants. It's almost like there's a bit of awareness still like oh my god like hanging there but then it's kind of like oh shit I don't even know what it's going to do and then that's where it was like it came started to come in it's like the desire it's like in my dreams I started to hear like I would get like you know at night I would get like a text message from you like I love you and I'm like I take it as hang in there like you'll say something I love you I'm there with you like I'm even I'm like there like I'm there even there like in that place of like almost like no control it under something else's control I'm still there with you and so it's like almost like but like how do you activate it's like the desire you have to like desire that more than that and it's just almost like it was almost a bit almost like a bit disheartening and shameful it's almost like what is this weird thing like control power like darkness and and it's just started coming in like it's actually invited and well it's actually desired it's actually desired and then the way out it's like after desire that something more than that and it's just like more than that like it's like something's like it's got to be true and so it's yeah like there's I don't know almost like there's a war happening in the way and I'm like I don't know which one's winning half the time it's like bye because it's like even like you know letting go of the game and then yeah how do you feel it's like reminds me of like that inception like last scene not one of the last scenes it's like oh this and that and he's talking to me but how do you feel like you're saying like I'm not real this is not real like almost like darkness not real but how do you feel it's like I feel guilt I feel like and he's like I feel guilt and that's what it feels like I feel I feel guilt feel darkness what's that like the dominant experience not not always the light it's like like like in honesty not no like not it like not the light that's where it's like how much do I really know of this like we're talking about extending the message and it's through you know it's it's through the heart it's not has anything to do the world it's like but what what is being extended truly how much of it is the true experience like all like we'll believe it will be it will be leave all or not at all so it's kind of like comes down to that and it's like most like how much of it is like almost like makes you not question but like look at it how like how do you feel how much of it is truly believed or desired and even like you know like even if it's this heartening to be able to look at that it's like what's then it's like you can tell by how you feel it's like and it's like well yeah not all that great and there's nothing in the form that even reflect that it's like what's yeah what's that like we we use projects but projects are still with the tweaking of the focus and so what would be the end of all projects but I have no need for this at all and this would have to be an all-inclusive inclusive all the images of the world that would have to be the only end of the project so projects are just tweaking towards the focus to keep your own track you know to keep you in the groove so you're not really spinning out like you know like in in that movie Sandra Bullock Gravity when she's when she just spins she goes off and from her space and she's just spinning that's what the projects are keep you from this going out and spinning into into lost and and unawareness of dreaming just spinning in the game like Sandra Bullock spinning upside down just off into space it's good that people watch that movie because people told me that brings up fear and they when she just goes spinning off into space you know it seems like that's this is a lone feeling and everything but the but the the projects are just a little tweaks to focus to keep the keep from spinning but then but there has to be an end to the projects has to be an end and that and that has to be I have no need for this at all which would be the end of the projects in the end of the world because only by valuing something of the world is what keeps it in place it keeps your mind in chains but that that's a valuing placing value where there isn't a value that's that's what keeps the mind in chains yeah and it's crazy because it's been shown you know showing up in the way like for a moment you think this is the value actual value it's like a spin anything has actual value like actual value and I was like I'm like cheeky because it's like it's so I was like I was just kind of like I was in this place like the other day I'm like oh this is like ultimate good as a like you can't possibly like like even a little bit anything of the world like even like for a moment you think this is nice this is great it's like you think you like community it comes with responsibility you think you want to be teacher like actual teaching dependency you know you think you want like like relaxing experience like some kind of pleasure pain right away just like comes in like all these like good things like all good things and then next you know it's kind of like it's like right away it just comes like right away all these like yeah and it's crazy it's like for a moment it's like it's and it's it feels like again it's shown quickly without there's no time in between so it's kind of like pain comes in right away pressure right away and it's kind like whoa whoa what's going on you don't even know and it's like but there's some kind of desire for something like that is seemingly the opposite of it and so it's so subtle and it's constantly like yeah yeah I don't know it was like like a lot of it like yeah like just shows up a lot like in a very in a way that like it just in the almost like you know like I said the other day like almost like a little like it could always it could even seem a little cruel like like spirit how can you like let me how can you let me ask for this then but it's like it's experience like I'm not going to protect you from your desires like from the power of your mind like not like so not the job I will join with you for you to see what is it that you're desiring to protect you like not the job and again it's just like comes down to like what are you desiring and it's almost like spirit's not joking anymore almost like some kind of like baby gloves have been taken away or something and now it's like this is it like as like as it is like learning almost like almost like the hardware of something I don't know but just this way that's why it's just like I'm like sometimes I don't know if there's this feeling like oh it's a minefield out there but it's like out there like in the mind like what when these areas gets exposed it's like minefield you know like not like not a feel-good experience necessarily but then yeah but something clicks somehow always there's some kind of home run with it and so kind of like trusting that too so yeah the fireworks last night but then we got the movie in our own fireworks right in here instead of the rain clouds came and no not that yeah yeah going out out for fourth of July fireworks it's not the celebration someone someone wrote me a letter I need me all about the quantum forgiveness weekend like something about it and I'm like wait I'm like what is what is he even saying I couldn't even understand and then I keep hearing like celebration celebration isn't like the key word I'm like oh my god so I wrote the email back I'm like you're probably the word celebration is confusing it's like it's not that kind of similar celebration it's a celebration of devotion and stillness and like dedicate dedication like life like to to God it's it's like like it's that kind of celebration so and they're like oh thank you for clarifying that yeah that was that's it that was the key it was like yeah that's like celebration when we celebrating all nothing of this world and even like probably celebration in itself doesn't look like probably me look different yeah I feel like fear has been playing me I've been here for a while and like it's death or it's like a death now I don't know it's weird to even say that but you know like what is the point in being afraid of anything because I want the peace of God like that's the only goal how can how can anything how can I let anything hold me back from that from that experience what can I really be afraid of I don't know it's just like I love that you are talking about desire because I feel like that's what this weekend was about up there with the little group of us and like the doubt thoughts kind of just disappear when I get really clear with what I want like I can I can feel like there's fear still like wait even with that seeming decision like yeah this is now the thing like I am going for the peace of God and I am afraid because I feel things are going to be exposed and well I can't let that stop me so like what's better like staying hidden or feeling alive I don't think it's like a choice just like the choice has gone expressing a little bit before moving the last few days or the last few days just feeling this and a deep fear and disorientation I'm not sure what to say about it just like I can hear my mind sometimes very funny question like am I going to make it yeah there's a sense of panic that comes up sometimes deep I don't even know where it is the only way to put this fear seems to build up right here I feel like just like watch my mind what is this about is this specific is you know typically comes to my mind it feels kind of abstract but then I'm like is that true? I feel like I don't want to feel this I feel like when I'm feeling this it's like it really tests my trust and visions to keep stepping forward in a sense it only feels like whiplash like when this stuff comes up like everything is telling me to just like dive or stop I'm actually being bashful just keep stepping forward I'd say in my mind don't stop just it comes up periodically I'm not sure what to do with it it's good practice because it does get to go that way just the fears are more more non-specific and that's actually a good sign that the ego always tried to make them about something some form or some memory that's not really it's more of a sense that you're not giving into the desire to project which is a good thing you can't project the error and accept the correction different people it comes in different ways and one friend I went through this one whole day this is periodically just felt like a death wish just she felt like she was just dying but nothing specific just this feeling that's just it has to go that way it has to go to seem more abstract it's part of facing it and allowing it as part of the releasing of it I've never seen the gravity I've always kind of like I wanted to see what would go up but like I can feel like I can feel the movie is yeah just like the only memory that really pops up and this starts happening is when I was at college and then I emailed you just because that's what was happening to me like just very intense like I didn't even know it was about just straight hair and deep fear and feeling completely alone yeah it's like whatever lesson of that day I just had to like it was almost like a I don't know I had to really watch my mind I almost used it as a lunch for a certain time then like to release and then we'll come back it was just so intense I thought I'd like never step out of it I was at this fear of just straight panicking I almost just thought like yeah like what are we going to do like why now why are you coming with that to allow it fully to not have messages of trying to diagnose it or fix it or give advice to it or whatever but yeah it's just getting yourself full of allowance and permission to let it up in a sense of safety yeah some really good songs there's a Sarah McLaughlin song I haven't heard it for the longest time but she just repeats it over and over this line where she sings it with all her heart but it's just a very intense song I won't fear love it's just imagine her singing it with all her passion and intensity it's just that you know you can just feel that the mind is just shaking and she's just you know you know giving everything to basically try to strike that one down for the groups Jude made this for me with treats because it feels like I'm in a squirt of blood I'll have her step out of me fully and I'll question my mind like how do you allow I can almost hear the answer at the same time how do you allow the mind to accept the abstract and that fear when it builds up feels like it's almost unbearable because I mean not projecting I can make seconds start to see like why there's such a temptation to protect it's unbearable yeah the question that you're right is how do you allow but the how is the Holy Spirit so and that's the Holy Spirit's function is that that's why the Holy Spirit is the memory of that love it's been kept it's been saved and kept that means it's like a letting go of all hows in terms of time which is really a defense against the abstraction so there's no person that does the how and there's no doing and there's no formality to it and that's all part of the defense so it's like that surrendering, yielding to the Holy Spirit or just saying help because that's always the shortest prayer