 Okay, Vin, we need to talk. Ooh, that's a hot mug, guys! Hey guys, this is my review for Fast X. I had quite a bit of hesitancy going into, especially after how Fast 9 just was so silly. Also, it was the first film in a while that hadn't been written by Chris Morgan. This guy probably lived off of Mountain Dew Doritos when he was younger and well into his adulthood. But he actually did have a good center of how to make an entertaining script for a brain-dead movie. The last one was written by Justin Lin, who had been a director for quite a few of the movies, bringing it back from death, making some of the best movies of the series, including 5 and 6. Writing wasn't his forte. Even then, he still wrote the script for this one. The thing that's probably more interesting about this movie than the stupidity of itself is actually how the film got made. For those of you who weren't following the production, you would have noticed there was a video that Vin Diesel put up on his Instagram, and if I'm correct, it's still there. He did a selfie video with Justin Lin after the first week of filming, and you can just see the fucking kill me look on Justin Lin's face. It is clear as day that he does not want to be anywhere fucking near Vin Diesel at that moment. Fair to say that this will be the best one? In my heart, yes. To the point where after that video, like a couple of days after that video, Justin Lin announced that he was leaving, and as far as I can tell, he has almost nothing to do with part two. Which at first I was like, okay, maybe we're gonna have better writers, and then I saw who were the writers for the next one. Well, let's just say that the writers of Birds of Prey, then one of the co-writers for The Flash, as well as the writer for Escape Room 2, Cloverfield Paradox, Mortal Kombat. Both of these writers have done one good movie. In the mass majority of what they've done, it's not that great. The fact that the writership is being handed off to someone entirely different is crazy. But now let's actually talk about the movie itself. This film follows Jason Momoa, who is apparently the son of the bad guy in the fifth movie and has been waiting ten years building his fucking Joker on steroids, cocaine, and Doritos plan to take down Dom and his family. He's by far the best part of this movie. There's a few interviews that he's done, just talking about how kind of silly he wanted to be in this movie. He fully dedicates himself to this crazy, silly persona. To the point where he appears at one point, I'm gonna get the color wrong. I think it's fuchsia. He appears in that color, both with car, clothing, and nails. Nail, like nail polish. All because it's the color his mom hated the most. So he did that purely just to fuck with his mom. He's the only good part about it. For the most part, Vin's already showing his childnessness about it because he and The Rock had a feud, right? And The Rock wasn't gonna come back. Now that The Fast Nine did terribly and Fast X is looking like it's not gonna make more money than Fast Nine along with The Rock having an absolute butchery of a failure with Black Adam. It's like that scene from Endgame where Thanos is like, where did that bring you? Back to me. But that's both of them saying it to each other at the same fucking time because neither of these two can get their egos out of the way. The film starts off with them going to Rome with this mission being run by Roman, who, Tyrese Gibson is just fully enveloped that I'm an idiot kind of persona. To be honest, the rest of the crew doesn't matter after the first 30 minutes because that's when Jason Momois begins his craziness and then there's this globetrotting of what they've got to do. All the while, Michelle Rodriguez is captured by the agency because for some reason, despite the fact that Scott Eastwood is there, the agency now is like, oh yeah, these guys are all bad. So this is kind of like a tongue cruise Mission Impossible Element 2 now. Overall, probably the part that's the most discerning about the whole film is just its complete dip into CG. Now, I'm not saying that these movies were condoned for their realism, but at least for the most part, if they can try and do it for real, they do it. There's a lot of CG elements in this, especially with the big opening action sequence in Rome. The amount of times that it's very, very clear that the car is fake. Now, admittedly, I know they probably couldn't have done that. It's Rome, Rome would have been like, you want to do what? No. Considering this movie had a huge budget, I heard something around 300 million, don't quote me on that. It really doesn't show when it comes to the amount of special effects. Certain sequences, yes, certain sequences, no. There's a bit at the end that just is the dumbest thing of the whole movie. Honestly, they really toned it back in terms of the silliness, probably because of the amount of criticism they got for the last movie. For fuck's sakes, they went into space. There's a sequence involving a dam, and I thought, you know what? It's actually not as silly as it should be, but it's just how the flow of the movie goes. The flow of the action pieces, the flow of the characters, each one's story, really the only one that matters in this movie is Jason Momoa and Vin Diesel. Maybe you could say Michelle Rodriguez, who, by the way, she has a fight scene with Charlie Staren, which I had heard had apparently had no director on set, so they did, they choreographed it themselves with the stunt coordinators and everything, which it actually is probably the best part of the movie, that fight scene, because it's the most cohesive, it's the most well-shot, it's the most well-coordinated. But really, that part of the story doesn't mean anything either. I just felt so bored watching this movie. I felt energy whenever Jason Momoa would appear, and even John Cena a little bit. They tried to mimic the relationship kind of funny story that Jason Statham had with the baby in the eighth film. They tried to mimic that with John Cena and Vin Diesel's kid in this movie, basically the greatest ever Make-A-Wish Foundation adventure with John Cena. It's hard to say anything more about this movie because there's just not that much substance to it. Jason Momoa just keeps having a backup plan for a backup plan, for a backup plan, for a backup plan. Got a lot of that ADHD kind of editing to it. There's a lot of like snap, snap, snap, snap, snap, snap. You get that with the establishers. Super fast drone shots, super fast coverage shots, super fast established shots. It reflects into how the film is just trying to make you care, but the fact that it's two and a half hours long almost with nowhere near enough substance to actually warrant that amount of time spent, that's probably the most crucial killer to this film. And I'm very curious to see how the second one goes because I know Vin was talking about, oh, we're going to translate into three. Fuck that they are. Universal's probably absolutely teething right now that this movie has not made as much money as it has. It's barely going to be a fucking profit, but the fact that they've brought a lot of people back, even more fucking people back for the last one, which I guarantee you part two is the last one. I bet you the only person who thinks it's going to be three is Vin, but in the end, my final rating for fast X, it's a three out of seven, but that's a very generous three out of seven. A huge point of that is just Jason Momoa. I just want this series to end. I'm done. I'm very curious to see what the behind the scenes is for part two because if it's anything as dramatic as it was for this movie, that will probably be much better than the film itself. Anyways, guys, I hope you enjoyed this review. If you did leave a like and if you're interested in more, subscribe. Have you seen this movie yet? What did you think about it? Are you at all excited for the next one? Let me know in the comments below. Until then, guys, see y'all next time.