 Mother, is Maxwell House really the only coffee in the world? Well, your father says so, and your father knows best. Yes, it's Father Knows Best transcribed in Hollywood starring Robert Young's father. A half-hour visit with your neighbors, the Andersons. Brought to you by America's favorite coffee, Maxwell House. The coffee that's always good to the last drop. The first of April, some do say, is set apart for all fool's day. But why the people call it so, nor I nor they themselves do know? It's Sunday in Springfield, but that isn't all. It's the first day of April. In the White Frame House on Maple Street, the Andersons are gathering for breakfast. And while they aren't concerned at the moment about the date, they will be, and soon. Like this. May I have my coffee, please? It'll be ready in a minute, dear. Jim, you didn't persuade them to stay over, did you? Of course not. I merely... Look, Margaret, it isn't every day we have a chance to entertain the district supervisor and the general manager of the whole division. I thought we entertained them quite well last night. Dinner at the townhouse, the dance at the club. Jim, you did ask them to stay over, didn't you? Honey, this is the first time Walter Craig has ever paid a visit to the Springfield office. And if I can show him a good time while he's here... Yes. Oh, when he gets back to the home office, he's bound to say a good word for me. That's logical, isn't it? What is? Oh, good morning, dear. Breakfast will be ready in two seconds. Wasn't that ever a dance last night? You know, Margaret, that's a much more effective greeting than a plain old good morning mother or even good morning father. Good morning mother. Good morning, dear. Good morning father. Good morning, Betty. Everybody happy? Just bubbling over. Good. Wasn't that ever a dance last night? Yes, it was ever a dance last night. Does that make you feel better? No coffee yet, her. Not yet, dear. Oh, well, I better shut up till he gets it. There's one thing you don't seem to understand. Me? Your mother. What don't I seem to understand, dear? In the business world, it isn't so much what you know as who you know. And if I make an extra good impression on Mr. Craig, well, there's no telling how far I can go with the company. Here's your coffee, dear. Thank you. That's why I want the children to be especially thoughtful and considerate this afternoon. All right, dear. Why don't you... this afternoon? Mr. Craig's a very important man, and I promised him a day of complete rest. If I hear one peep out of any of the kids... Jim, did you invite them here for dinner? Naturally, if we give them a good home-cooked meal. But why didn't you tell me? I am telling you. I've been telling you for the last five minutes. But I'm not prepared. We have to go to church, and all the stores are closed, and... Jim, what am I going to do with you? What did I do now? If you'd only told me last night... I didn't know last night. It was just sort of... honey, there's always enough for two more. Oh, Jim. And that's another thing. While Craig and Buckley are here, I want Bud to stay on one floor. I don't care which floor it is, but he's not going to go up and down stairs. Good morning, everybody. Good morning, dear. Hi, Bud. This is one day we're not going to have his imitation of a buffalo stampede. Boy, something smells good. What are we having for breakfast? Pancakes. And I was here ahead of you, so get in line. Okay. Bud. Hey, look at the mouth. Hey! Oh! Oh! Oh! Look at the mouth. Where is it? April Fool. Boy, I sure scared her, didn't I? Bud. Yes, Dad? Get the mop and clean up this mess. Oh, gosh. I didn't know she was going to jump on the table. Scaring people have to death. He knows how I hate things like mice. Bud, you can pick the worst time. Okay, I'll go ahead, genius. Start cleaning up. Holy cow. Jim, this is going to be one of those days. I can just feel it. This is not going to be one of those days. If I have to lock all the kids in the basement, I'm going to give Mr. Craig the quietest afternoon of his life. Daddy! Daddy! Oh, dear. Good grief. What's the matter, Kathy? Oh, Daddy, you ought to see what's in the bathroom. A green dragon with purple spots and fire coming out of his nose. Fine. Go upstairs and ask him if he'd like some pancakes. Is this the right mop, Mom? Don't bother, dear. Let him clean it up, Margaret. It was his fault. Go ahead, Bud. Lift your feet up, Betty. Doesn't anybody care about the dragon? April Fool. Aw, Bud told you. Jim, we've got to do something about dinner. I just can't stretch a chicken to cover two more people. Well, we'll all have to eat a little less, that's all. Probably do us good. If you need another chicken, there's one in the backyard. There is? What's a chicken doing in the... Kathy, are you sure? Oh, yes, Daddy. I saw it fly over the fence. Bud, put your coat on to see if you can find... April Fool! Okay, Betty. You can put your feet back down. Thank you very much. You're welcome. Isn't this fun? Kathleen, I think we'll all be a lot happier if you'll just forget that today is the first of April. I'll get it. But everybody else sounds April Fool and they don't have to stop. How does that look, Mom? It looks fine, dear. Now sit down and have your breakfast. What'll I do with the mop? Put a little sugar on it. You can have it instead of cereal. Jim... Well, if he's going to ask those idiotic questions, what do you expect me to say? What'll I do with the mop? Father, it's for you. I'll be right there. I only wanted to know. Never mind, dear. Your father was only joking. 15 years old and he doesn't know what to do with a mop. Who is it, Betty? I don't know, Father. They just asked if you were home. Well, thank you very much. Go on back and finish your breakfast. Okay. My pancakes are probably ice cold. Hello? Mr. Anderson? Yes? This is Joe Hogan of the Springfield Herald. Who? Joe Hogan of the Springfield Fair. Oh, yes. What can I do for you? Well, I wonder if you're going to be home this afternoon. I'd like to come out with a photographer. What for? There isn't any... Oh. Well, sure, Mr. Hogan. You come right ahead. Two o'clock will be all right. Sure, any time at all. Why don't you bring two or three photographers just to be on the safe side? I think one will do fine. Well, see you later, Mr. Anderson. All right, Mr. Hogan. And a happy first of April to you, too. I don't know. A grown man and they've got nothing better to do than waste the time playing games. That's what's wrong with this world. Everybody wants to play games. Who was it, dear? Oh, some character with a weird sense of humor. I'm supposed to get all excited about an interview so people can say April Fool. Daddy! What is it, Kathleen? Mommy says I can't say April Fool anymore. Well, tell you what we'll do, Kitten. Suppose this once we don't pay any attention to your mother. June! After all, I'm the boss around here. What I say goes and nobody else amounts to a row of pins. And let's have that understood. Father! April Fool! Well, how do you like it? It sounds pretty silly when somebody does it to you, doesn't it? I wasn't going to do it to you. I'll get it. Jim, you haven't eaten a bit of your breakfast. How can I have to keep answering the phone so my friends can have fun? This is probably Harry Truman inviting me to have dinner at the White House. Hello, Harry. Mr. Anderson? Oh, let's not be formal, Harry. Old kid just called me Jim. Mr. Anderson, this is Fred Benson of International Newsreel. I see. Would you like to come out here and take some pictures of me, you know, in a bathing suit or going over Niagara Falls in a barrel? There's a matter of fact. Well, come right ahead and be sure to bring enough cameras. We want to do this thing right. That'll be fine. You won't have any trouble recognizing me. I'm the one with the three heads, win, place, and show. Characters, now it's International Newsreel. Jim, are you still on the phone? No, I'm good. Now, look. Hello, Jim. Who is this, anyway? Jim Hathaway. Oh, I thought it would be General Eisenhower at the very least. Who? Uh, never mind, Jim. What's up? Don't you tell me. Huh? Love a boy? Look, Jim, I've had just about all I can take. And if this is your idea of a joke... A joke? Would I make jokes about the tender emotions of a lonely heart? What? Haven't you seen the morning paper? No, what about it? Jim, what's all this... Hello, Jim. Jim! Oh, fine. Jim, will you please come in and eat your breakfast? Not until I've seen the paper. Where is it? It's right in here. Oh, well, if you're going to hide it like that. Jim Anderson, I don't know what's gotten into you this morning. I've cooked five batches of pancakes. Where is it, honey? The paper's right there on the stool. But why can't you wait until you've had your pancakes? It'll only take a second, Margaret. Jim Hathaway said there was... Holy chump! Margaret, look at this. Look at it. What was? What is it, Father? All over the front page, Springfield Man wins great love letter award. Holy cow, Dad. What do you want to do a thing like that for? Isn't it... Just a minute. Kathy, what do you mean we did it? Well, didn't we? I don't know anything about it. I never entered any contest, and I never wrote any love letters. Let me see it, dear. Mr. James Anderson of 607 Maple Street. It's a lie. The whole thing is a monstrous lie. Maybe it's April Fool. That's what it is. It's April Fool. This is somebody's idea of a big joke, and when I get my hands on him... Jim, this isn't a joke. Listen. Last night I sat beneath a star-swept sky, and the breeze kept sighing your name, Margaret. It picked its way through the rustling boughs, and a million leaves took up the chant, Margaret. Why, Jim, this is one of the letters you wrote to me when we were engaged. Father! Holy cow! Kathy, how did they get that letter? Letter? The one your mother was just reading. Oh, that letter! Well? I said it to him. Oh, you did. Kathy... Oh, it was just sitting around up in the attic, and I didn't think... Kathleen, suppose you and I retired to the den for a few moments. You're gonna spank me. That's right. And this time no one is going to say April Fool. All right, Kathy. Mommy, please. I'm sorry, Angel, but you had no right to do it. But I only did it because I wanted Daddy to win the $500. Well, next time you'll think twice before... What? I thought you'd be glad to win $500. Let me see that paper. If I won $500, I wouldn't get mad and spank people. Margaret, she's right. Look at it. I won $500! Jim! Boy! Creepers! Are you still mad? Kathy? Yes, Daddy? Have another pancake. Who would ever have thought a father is a great lover? It just goes to show, ladies, never underestimate the man you marry. He's so much more than just your husband. For example, he's also the world's greatest coffee expert. Well, that's a fact. The ranking authority on truly good coffee is that man of yours. Now, it's true. We're called experts, too. More people buy our Maxwell House coffee than any other brand. But when you brew the coffee and pass the cups, the only expert who counts is your husband. And tomorrow, if you'll pour him a cup of Maxwell House, we're sure he'll salute you with a smile and say, Darling, that's coffee at its best. Yes, sir. That's what he'll say. In fact, we'll return your money if he doesn't. We're that sure he'll enjoy our coffee. You see, no other coffee tastes like Maxwell House because no other coffee is made like Maxwell House. There's only one recipe for that famous good to the last drop flavor, a recipe demanding certain choice coffees blended just so, and only Maxwell House has this recipe. So tomorrow, serve Maxwell House to that man of yours. If he doesn't say best coffee ever, just send us the can and unused portion, and we'll gladly refund the price you paid. Our address is right on every familiar blue tin. Yes, let your coffee expert be the judge. Tomorrow, fill your husband's cup with Maxwell House, the one coffee that's always good to the last drop. Sunday afternoon. That's dinner time in Springfield, which makes it chicken and dumpling time for the Anderson's. Jim, Margaret, Betty, Bud, and Kathleen. Two guests, the Messers, Buckley and Craig, and one puny little chicken. It's pretty rugged going. Yes, indeed. I've eaten chicken and dumplings before, Mrs. Anderson, but never like this. Thank you, Mr. Craig. I haven't had a Sunday dinner like this since, well, it's so far back I can't even remember. How about another helping, Mr. Craig? There's quite a bit left. Well, if you're sure there's plenty of... No, no, I'd better not. I don't want to make a pig of myself, you know. Phil? Thank you, Margaret. Don't mind if I do. Make a pig of yourself. I mean, try some of the biscuits, Phil, while they're still hot. Thank you. What's the matter with you, Bud? You've got an appetite like a bird. Oh, Daddy says... Excuse me, I... something went down the wrong way. What were you saying, dear? Daddy says that insurance is the best policy. Well, that's very good. Did you hear that, Buckley? Insurance is the best policy. Oh, yes, yes. Very good indeed. May I have the butter, please? Here you are, Mr. Buckley. Thank you, Betty. You know WC. I was saying to RL just the other day... I'm worried about your son, Jim, growing boy like that. I'll eat more. Oh, he's all right, Mr. Craig. Don't you like chicken, Bud? Oh, sure. I'm just not hungry, that's all. Well, I had a big dinner yesterday. Betty? Oh, no, thank you, Mr. Craig. I'm on a diet, sort of. That's very strange. The way you went through your food last night. Well, this is a different kind of a diet you eat every other day. I see. Makes it very handy on the budget. Doesn't it, Margaret? Yes, it's very handy. Would you care for another cup of coffee, Mr. Craig? That's a wonderful idea. There you are. Thank you. Phil? Don't mind if I do. All right. Thank you, Margaret. Of course, I don't have to ask Jim. There you are, dear. Thank you, honey. You know WC, it's like I was telling RL the other day. Your people have the right idea about living, Anderson. Settle down in a small town, own your own home, raise a family. That's the way to live. We like it. Well, you should, shouldn't they, Buckley? What do you mean? Why, just the other day, I was saying to RL... Oh, take me, for example. Rushing around from one city to another, always on the go. Never a chance to take it easy and relax. Now, that's what I like about a small town. It's peaceful and quiet. Uh, I'm going to let you in on a little secret, Mr. Craig. With three children in the house, there's mighty little peace and practically no quiet, no matter how small the town is. Well, I wouldn't say that. Would you, Buckley? Why, no, WC. I was telling RL just the other day. I've seen a lot of views in my time, but I've never seen three that behaved any better than yours. All right, children, you may tip your halos. No, no, no, no, I mean it very sincerely. How about you, Buckley? I've met them before, Ed. I know exactly what Phil means, and I find it a little hard to believe myself. I have the strangest feeling that a gremlin is going to pop out of the middle of the table and shout April Fool. Jim, they aren't that bad. No, they aren't that good, either. Say, uh, is today the 1st of April? That's right, 1st of April. I wonder if you'd mind letting me take a look at the paper. The paper? The newspaper. I meant to get one at the hotel, but they were out of the New York papers, and I thought that... You want to see our paper. What's the matter with you, Jim? You said it three times. I know, but, uh, we don't get a Sunday paper. We burn it up. You what? She means, if we did get one, we'd just burn it up. Or, uh, or line the garbage can with it. And what's the sense of buying a paper just to line a garbage can? Jim... Well, they're right, honey. It's bad enough for the daily papers, but why waste all that money just to line garbage cans? I could have sworn all I said was me. I see the paper. Uh, but... But why don't you run down to the drugstore like a good lad and get Mr. Craig a newspaper? The drugstore? Yes, or the market, or the cigar store, or wherever you buy papers in Springfield. You buy them at the drugstore? Well, then why all the... Not the Sunday papers, Phil. They don't carry the Sunday papers. Why not? They sell them all on Saturday. What? She means the early edition. You know how it is, Phil. They get the early editions on Saturday. But they don't have anything in them. Except the comics. And you wouldn't want the comics, would you? Why, we've got them, and they aren't even comical. Cathy... Well, some of them aren't. Somehow I get the impression that I'm not supposed to see the newspaper. Oh, no! You see, we just thought, uh... How about another cup of coffee, Mr. Craig? Oh, I haven't touched this one. That's fine. You'll have one, too, won't you, Phil? Jim, you're not helping the situation at all. What situation? Oh, dear. Well, you see, Phil, we felt this with you and Mr. Craig being here. Don't bother about the doorbell button. Did I have to answer you? No, you don't. Just, uh, sit down. But it was the front door, and I always have to see... I said, sit down. Don't answer it. Maybe they'll, uh, go away. Holy cow. Uh, how about another cup of coffee, Mr. Craig? Anderson, don't they generally answer doorbells in Springfield? Oh, yes, but, uh... We're not expecting anyone, and, uh... They've probably got the wrong house. It happens all the time. Ah, I see. I'm glad somebody does. Jim, you're going to have to do something about that door. Anybody have any suggestions? Answering it might be an idea, unless that seems too simple. Want me to see who it is, Dad? No, I, uh, better go. Probably just somebody selling something, uh, or something. You know WC, I was telling RL just the other day. April Fool. They would have to pick a day like this to call up about interviews and newsreels, and... I'll be lucky if I don't get fired. Well, hello, Mr. Anderson. I'm Joe Hogan of the Springfield. Look, Mr. Hogan, I know I told you to come out here, but... Well, things have happened in the meantime, and, uh... Oh, uh, that's okay. Come on in, Erwin. Okay, Joe. Now, just a minute, Hogan. I just finished telling you... Go ahead, Erwin. Set up in the living room. We'll be right with you. Okay, Joe. Hogan, this is a great thing for you, Mr. Anderson, and for Springfield. I'm trying to talk to the editor of doing a whole series. The great romance of history has seemed to the eyes of Springfield's greatest lover. Oh, now wait a minute. I'll be right in, honey. Is everything all right? Oh, sure. Everything's fine. No, it can't be. It's a little place, isn't it? Isn't it? Look, Hogan, can't you go away and come back later, like, next month or next year? Aren't you going to answer the door? Hogan, you're a public figure, Mr. Anderson. You can't hide your light under a bushel basket. Oh. Mr. Anderson, I'm Benson of the International Newsreel. Hiya, Fred. Oh, hello, Joe. Got here ahead of me, huh? Look, Mr. Benson. Okay, Lou, start bringing the stuff in. Pull all of it? Well, never mind the dolly. We'll shoot as plain. Mr. Benson. Fred, I'm supposed to get my copy in by four o'clock. I won't be in your way. Where are you set up? In the living room. Good background? Look, don't mind me. I just... Pardon me. I gotta get this stuff through. Hey, Joe, I'm all set up. Fred, I need a hand on those cables. I can't drag them all in by myself. Well, I've gotta talk to Mr. Anderson. Hey, Joe, how about your guy giving Lou a hand? Sure. Hey, Irwin. Jim, what? Me, Joe. What'd you say, Margaret? Come on here and give international a hand. How about my pictures? What pictures, honey? Everything's fine, Mrs. Anderson. Now, let's see. We'd like to do a quick two or three minutes, Mr. Anderson, with your wife and your kids. How about the cables? Hurry up. Will you, Irwin? Okay, Joe. And maybe a doll. You got a dog? They're great for human interests. Fellas, please. My boss is in there, and his boss is in there. Well, okay. I think a dog would be better, but if you want to stick the boss in... See here, Anderson. You told Mr. Craig... Is this him? Phil, I'm sorry about this whole thing. I had the faintest idea. You must be pretty proud, huh? Having a great lover like Mr. Anderson working for you? A what? Winner of the National Love Letter Award. That's who he is. Phil, I had nothing to do with it. I didn't even send in the letter. Anderson? What's going on out there, Buckley? WC, this is the most outrageous thing I've ever heard of in my life. Well, what is? What are you getting all upset about? Well, which one is he? Mr. Craig, I've been trying to explain to Phil... Mr. Craig, my name is Hogan of the Springfield Herald, and I want you to know that we're all mighty proud. Buckley, what are they talking about? It's Anderson. He won that love letter award. He what? Mr. Craig, you've got to believe me. It wasn't my fault. Tim, what is it? What's wrong? Honey. Margaret, do you know what your husband has done? He's ruined the good name of the Cavalier Life and Casualty Company. That's what he's done. But, Phil, it was only... Now, just a minute, Buckley. WC, I want you to know that I had nothing to do with this. I'm sure you didn't. Mr. Craig. What's everybody so excited about? Excuse me. Watch the lamp or I'll win. Okay. I'll see that a full report of this goes into the home office, and unless I'm very much mistaken... Anderson, don't pay any attention to him. I'm going to send the report in myself. But, all I did... And I'm going to recommend you for a sizable bonus. I know. Mr. Craig, but... What? What do you see? Oh, shut up. When you see what this means, we've spent millions advertising Cavalier as the insurance company with a heart. Well, of course we have. Now we can prove it. A Cavalier employee won out over thousands of lovers because of his great soul, his gentle humanity. Oh, no. Well... Well, naturally, that's what I was going to say in my report. Oh, Jim. As a matter of fact, to bind even closer the ties between this great lover and the great company he represents, I shall be glad to take my place beside him in front of the newsreel cameras. You will? Oh, that'll be great, Mr. Craig. I still say a dog would be better. Well, as long as we're all in this together... I believe. Yes, W.C. Go soak your head. Yes, W.C. Are you with me, Mr. Anderson? Absolutely, Mr. Craig. Ladies, isn't it so, when you buy coffee at your grocers this weekend, you'll be looking for the best value. And, of course, that means only one thing. The most in flavor for your money. So keep this in mind. There's one coffee famous above all others for flavor. It's our Maxwell House coffee. In the familiar blue tin with the big white cup and drop. Tomorrow, then, take home a pound of our coffee. Serve a cup of Maxwell House to the world's greatest coffee expert, your husband. When he smiles and says, best coffee ever, you'll be convinced it's Maxwell House for flavor. Then just count all the truly good cups of coffee you get from each pound. You'll agree it's Maxwell House for value, too. Yes, tomorrow, for your money's worth and more, take home Maxwell House coffee. Always good to the last drop. It's a short time later in the White Frame House on Maple Street. And for the first time all day, everything is calm and under control. Seems strange, but that's the way it is, like this. Mr. Craig, I don't know how to thank you for all you've done. I haven't done anything. My boy, nothing you haven't deserved at any rate. I'd like to apologize for all that fuss we made about the newspaper. I understand. You wouldn't have any objection to my seeing it now, would you? Oh, no. The whole story is on the front page. That's not the part I'm looking for. Here we are, page six. What's on page six? Well, that isn't bad, is it? What isn't? There were over 10,000 entries in the contest, and I came in 14th. Psychology at breakfast time. I've found a way to get the kids to eat a hot cereal in the morning. I just give them post-wheat meal and tell them it's Hopalong Cassidy's favorite hot cereal. My, how they gobble it up. Yes, ladies, tell your children that post-wheat meal is Hopalong Cassidy's favorite hot cereal, and they lead it, too. Post-wheat meal is chuck full of solid, whole-wheat nourishment. It has a wonderful nut-like flavor, and it cooks in only three and a half minutes. You'll see, you'll all agree, it's the best hot cereal you ever ate. Join us again next week when we'll be back with Father Knows Best, starring Robert Young as Jim Anderson with Roy Bargy and the Maxwell House Orchestra. In our cast, we're Rhoda Williams as Betty, June Whitley, Ted Donaldson, Norma Jean-Nelson, and yours truly, Bill Foreman. So until next Thursday, good night and good luck from the makers of Maxwell House, America's favorite brand of coffee. Always good to the last drop. Father Knows Best was transcribed in Hollywood and written by Ed James. Now stay tuned in for Dragnet, which follows immediately over most of these stations.