 Book 7, Chapter 1, The Vanishing Hopes of the Fallen Leaves. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Rita Butros. The Fallen Leaves by Wilkie Collins. Book 7, Chapter 1. Two days later, Amelius moved into his cottage. He had provided himself with a new servant as easily as he had provided himself with a new abode. A foreign waiter at the hotel, a grey-haired Frenchman of the old school, reputed to be the most ill-tempered servant in the house, had felt the genial influence of Amelius with the receptive readiness of his race. Here was a young Englishman who spoke to him as easily and pleasantly as if he was speaking to a friend, who heard him relate his little grievances and never took advantage of that circumstance to turn him into ridicule, who said kindly, I hope you don't mind my calling you by your nickname when he ventured to explain that his Christian name was Theophile, and that his English fellow-servants had facetiously altered and shortened it to Toff to suit their insular convenience. For the first time, sir, he had hastened to add, I feel it an honour to be Toff when you speak to me. Asking everybody whom he met if they could recommend a servant to him, Amelius had put the question when Toff came in one morning with the hot water. The old Frenchman made a low bow expressive of devotion. I know of but one man, sir, whom I can safely recommend he answered, take me. Amelius was delighted. He had only one objection to make. I don't want to keep two servants, he said, while Toff was helping him on with his dressing gown. Why should you keep two servants, sir? The Frenchman inquired. Amelius answered, I can't ask you to make the beds. Why not, said Toff, and made the bed then and there in five minutes. He ran out of the room and came back with one of the chambermaid's brooms. Such for yourself, sir, can I sweep a carpet? He placed a chair for Amelius. Permit me to save you the trouble of shaving yourself. Are you satisfied? Very good. I am equally capable of cutting your hair and attending to your corns if you suffer, sir, from that inconvenience. Will you allow me to propose something which you have not had yet for your breakfast? In half an hour more he brought in the new dish. Toff's a la tripe. An elementary specimen, sir, of what I can do for you as a cook. Be pleased to taste it. Amelius ate it all up on the spot and Toff applied the moral with the neatest choice of language. Thank you, sir, for a gratifying expression of approval. One more specimen of my poor capabilities and I have done. It is barely possible, God forbid, that you may fall ill. Honor me by reading that document. He handed a written paper to Amelius, dated some years since in Paris, and signed in an English name. I testify with gratitude and pleasure that Théophile Leblond has nursed me through a long illness with an intelligence and devotion which I cannot too highly praise. May you never employ me, sir, in that capacity, said Toff. I have only to add that I am not so old as I look and that my political opinions have changed in later life from red republican to moderate liberal. I also confess, if necessary, that I still have an ardent admiration for the fair sex. He laid his hand on his heart and waited to be engaged. So the household at the cottage was modestly limited to Amelius and Toff. Rufus remained for another week in London to watch the new experiment. He had made careful inquiries into the Frenchman's character and had found that the complaints of his temper really amounted to this, that he gave himself the heirs of a gentleman and didn't understand a joke. On the question of honesty and sobriety, the testimony of the proprietor of the hotel left Rufus nothing to desire. Greatly to his surprise, Amelius showed no disposition to grow weary of his quiet life or to take refuge in perilous amusements from the sober society of his books. He was regular in his inquiries at Mr. Farnaby's house. He took long walks by himself. He never mentioned Sally's name. He'd lost his interest in going to the theatre and he never appeared in the smoking room of the club. Some men observing the remarkable change which had passed over his excitable temperament would have hailed it as a good sign for the future. The New Englander looked below the surface and was not so easily deceived. My bright boy's soul is discouraged and cast down was the conclusion that he drew. There's darkness in him where there once was light and what's worse than all he caves in and keeps it to himself. After vainly trying to induce Amelius to open his heart, Rufus at last went to Paris with a mind that was ill at ease. On the day of the American's departure, the march of events was resumed and the unnaturally quiet life of Amelius began to be disturbed again. Making his customary inquiries in the forenoon at Mr. Farnaby's door, he found the household in a state of agitation. A second council of physicians had been held in consequence of the appearance of some alarming symptoms in the case of the patient. On this occasion, the medical man told him plainly that he would sacrifice his life to his obstinacy if he persisted in remaining in London and returning to his business. By good fortune, the affairs of the bank had greatly benefited through the powerful interposition of Mr. Melton. With the improved prospects, Mr. Farnaby, at his nieces and treaty, submitted to the doctor's advice. He was to start on the first stage of his journey the next morning and, at his own earnest desire, Regina was to go with him. I hate strangers and foreigners and I don't like being alone. If you don't go with me, I shall stay where I am and die. So Mr. Farnaby put it to his adopted daughter in his rasping voice and with his hard frown. I am grieved, dear Amelius, to go away from you, Regina said, but what can I do? It would have been so nice if you could have gone with us. I did hint something of the sort, but her downcast face finished the sentence. Amelius felt the bare idea of being Mr. Farnaby's travelling companion make his blood run cold and Mr. Farnaby on his side reciprocated the sentiment. I will write constantly, dear Regina resumed, and you will write back, won't you? Say you love me and promise to come tomorrow morning before we go. She kissed him affectionately and the instant after, checked the responsive outburst of tenderness in Amelius by that utter want of tact which, in spite of the popular delusion to the contrary, is so much more common in women than in men. My uncle is so particular about packing his linen, she said, nobody can please him but me. I must ask you to let me run upstairs again. Amelius went out into the street with his head down and his lips fast closed. He was not far from Mrs. Payson's house. Why shouldn't I call, he thought to himself. His conscience added, and here's some news of Sally. There was good news. The girl was brightening mentally and physically. She was in a fair way. If she only remained in the home to be simple Sally no longer. Amelius asked her if she had got the photograph of the cottage. Mrs. Payson laughed. Sleeps with it under her pillow, poor child, she said, and looks at it fifty times a day. Thirty years since, with infinitely less experience to guide her, the worthy matron would have followed her instincts and would have hesitated to tell Amelius quite so much about the photograph. But some of the woman's finer sensibilities do get blunted with the advance of age and the accumulation of wisdom. Instead of pursuing the subject of Sally's progress, Amelius, to Mrs. Payson's surprise, made a clumsy excuse and abruptly took his leave. He felt the need of being alone. He was conscious of a vague distrust of himself, which degraded him in his own estimation. Was he, like characters he had read of in books, the victim of a fatality? The slightest circumstances conspired to heighten his interest in Sally just at the time when Regina had once more disappointed him. He was as firmly convinced, as if he had been the strictest moralist living, that it was an insult to Regina and an insult to his own self-respect to set the lost creature whom he had rescued in any light of comparison with the young lady who was one day to be his wife. And yet, try as he might to drive her out, Sally kept her place in his thoughts. There was apparently some innate depravity in him. If a looking-glass had been handed to him at that moment, he would have been ashamed to look himself in the face. After walking until he was weary, he went to his club. The porter gave him a letter as he crossed the hall. Mrs. Farnaby had kept her promise and had written to him. The smoking-room was deserted at that time of day. He opened his letter in solitude, looked at it, crumpled it up impatiently, and put it into his pocket. Not even Mrs. Farnaby could interest him at that critical moment. His own affairs absorbed him. The one idea in his mind after what he had heard about Sally was the idea of making a last effort to hasten the date of his marriage before Mr. Farnaby left England. If I can only feel sure of Regina, his thoughts went no further than that. He walked up and down the empty smoking-room, anxious and irritable, dissatisfied with himself, despairing of the future. I can but try it, he suddenly decided, and turned at once to the table to write a letter. Death had been busy with the members of his family in the long interval that had passed since he and his father left England. His nearest surviving relative was his uncle, his father's younger brother, who occupied a post of high importance in the foreign office. To this gentleman he now wrote, announcing his arrival in England and his anxiety to qualify himself for employment in a government office. Be so good as to grant me an interview, he concluded, and I hope to satisfy you that I am not unworthy of your kindness if you will exert your influence in my favor. He sent away his letter at once by a private messenger with instructions to wait for an answer. It was not without doubt and even pain that he had opened communication with a man whose harsh treatment of his father it was impossible for him to forget. What could the son expect? There was but one hope. Time might have inclined the younger brother to make atonement to the memory of the elder by a favorable reception of his nephew's request. His father's last words of caution, his own boyish promise not to claim kindred with his relations in England, were vividly present to the mind of Emilius while he waited for the return of the messenger. One justification was in the motives that animated him. Circumstances which his father had never anticipated rendered it an act of duty towards himself to make the trial at least of what his family interest could do for him. There could be no sort of doubt that a man of Mr. Farnaby's character would yield if Emilius could announce that he had the promise of an appointment under government with a powerful influence of a near relation to accelerate his promotion. He sat idly drawing lines on the blotting paper at one moment regretting that he had sent his letter at another comforting himself in the belief that if his father had been living to advise him his father would have approved of the course that he had taken. The messenger returned with these lines of reply. Under any ordinary circumstances I should have used my influence to help you on in the world. But when you not only hold the most abominable political opinions but actually proclaim those opinions in public I am amazed at your audacity in writing to me. There must be no more communication between us. While you are a socialist, you are a stranger to me. Emilius accepted this new rebuff with ominous composure. He sat quietly smoking in the deserted room with his uncle's letter in his hand. Among the other disastrous results of the lecture some of the newspapers had briefly reported it. Preoccupied by his anxieties Emilius had forgotten this when he wrote to his relative just like me he thought as he threw the letter into the fire. His last hopes floated up the chimney with the tiny puff of smoke from the burnt paper. There was now no other chance of shortening the marriage engagement left to try. He had already applied to the good friend whom he had mentioned to Regina. The answer kindly written in this case had not been very encouraging. I have other claims to consider. All that I can do, I will do. Don't be disheartened. I only ask you to wait. Emilius rose to go home and sat down again. His natural energy seemed to have deserted him. It required an effort to leave the club. He took up the newspapers and threw them aside one after another. Not one of the unfortunate writers and reporters could please him on that inauspicious day. It was only while he was lighting his second cigar that he remembered Mrs. Farnaby's unread letter to him. By this time he was more than weary of his own affairs. He read the letter. I find the people who have my happiness at their mercy both dillatory and greedy, Mrs. Farnaby wrote, but the little that I can persuade them to tell me is very favorable to my hopes. I am still, to my annoyance, only in personal communication with the hateful old woman. The young man either sends messages or writes to me through the post. By this letter means he has accurately described not only in which of my child's feet the fault exists, but the exact position which it occupies. Here you will agree with me is positive evidence that he is speaking the truth, whoever he is. But for this reassuring circumstance I should feel inclined to be suspicious of some things, of the obstinate manner, for instance, in which the young man keeps himself concealed. Also, of his privately warning me not to trust the woman who is his own messenger, and not to tell her on any account of the information which his letters convey to me. I feel that I ought to be cautious with him on the question of money, and yet in my eagerness to see my darling I am ready to give him all that he asks for. In this uncertain state of mind I am restrained strangely enough by the old woman herself. She warns me that he is the sort of man if he once gets the money to spare himself the trouble of earning it. It is the one hold I have over him, she says, so I control the burning impatience that consumes me as well as I can. No, I must not attempt to describe my own state of mind. When I tell you that I am actually afraid of dying before I can give my sweet love the first kiss, you will understand and pity me. When night comes I feel sometimes half mad. I send you my present address in the hope that you will write and cheer me a little. I must not ask you to come and see me yet. I am not fit for it. And besides I am under a promise in the present state of the negotiations to shut the door on my friends. It is easy enough to do that. I have no friend, Emilius, but you. Try to feel compassionately towards me, my kind-hearted boy. For so many long years my heart has had nothing to feed on, but the one hope that is now being realized at last. No sympathy between my husband and me. On the contrary, a hard, unacknowledged enmity which has always kept us apart, my mother and father in their time both wretched about my marriage and with good reason, my only sister dying in poverty. What a life for a childless woman. Don't let us dwell on it any longer. Goodbye for the present, Emilius. I beg you will not think I am always wretched. When I want to be happy I look to the coming time. This melancholy letter added to the depression that weighed on the spirits of Emilius. It inspired him with vague fears for Mrs. Farnaby. In her own interest he would have felt himself tempted to consult Rufus without mentioning names if the American had been in London. As things were, he put the letter back in his pocket with a sigh. Even Mrs. Farnaby in her sad moments had a consoling prospect to contemplate everybody but me, Emilius thought. His reflections were interrupted by the appearance of an idle young member of the club with whom he was acquainted. The newcomer remarked that he looked out of spirits and suggested that they should dine together and amuse themselves somewhere in the evening. Emilius accepted the proposal and any man who offered him a refuge from himself was a friend to him on that day. Departing from his temperate habits he deliberately drank more than usual. The wine excited him for the time and then left him more depressed than ever. And the amusements of the evening produced the same result. He returned to his cottage so completely disheartened that he regretted the day when he had left Tadmore. But he kept his appointment the next morning to take leave of Regina. The carriage was at the door with a luggage laden cab waiting behind it. Mr. Farnaby's ill temper vented itself in predictions that they would be too late to catch the train. His harsh voice, alternating with Regina's meek remonstrances reached the ears of Emilius from the breakfast room. I'm not going to wait for the gentleman's socialist Mr. Farnaby announced with his hardest sarcasm of tone. Dear uncle we have a quarter of an hour to spare. We have nothing of the sort. We want all that time to register the luggage. The servant's voice was heard next. Mr. Goldenheart, Miss Mr. Farnaby instantly stepped into the hall. Goodbye he called to Emilius through the open door of the dining room and passed straight on to the carriage. I shan't wait Regina he shouted from the doorstep. Let him go by himself said Emilius indignantly as Regina hurried into the room. Oh hush hush dear suppose he heard you no week shall pass without my writing to you promise you will write back Emilius one more kiss oh my dear the servant interposed keeping discreetly out of sight I beg your pardon Miss my master wishes to know whether you are going with him or not Regina waited to hear no more she gave her lover a farewell look to remember her by and ran out that innate depravity Emilius had lately discovered in his own nature let the forbidden thoughts loose in him again as he watched the departing carriage from the door. If poor little Sally had been in her place he made an effort of virtuous resolution and stopped there what a blackard a man may be he penitently reflected without suspecting it himself he descended the house steps the discreet servant wished him good morning in cheery respect the man was delighted to have seen the last of his hard master for some months to come Emilius stopped and turned round smiling grimly he was in such a reckless humor that he was even ready to divert his mind by astonishing a footman Richard he said are you engaged to be married Richard stared in blank surprise at the strange question and modestly admitted the house made next door soon asked Emilius swinging his stick as soon as I have saved a little more money sir damn the money cried Emilius and struck his stick on the pavement and walked away with a last look at the house as if he hated the sight of it Richard watched the departing young gentleman and shook his head ominously as he shut the door End of book 7 Chapter 1 Book 7 Chapter 2 of The Fallen Leaves This is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Rita Boutros The Fallen Leaves by Wilkie Collins Book 7 Chapter 2 Back to the Cottage with the one desperate purpose of reverting to the old plan and burying himself in his books surveying his well-filled shelves with an impatience unworthy of a scholar Hume's history of England unhappily caught his eye he took down the first volume in less than half an hour he discovered that Hume could do nothing for him wisely inspired he turned to the truer history of the next which men call fiction the writings of the one supreme genius who soars above all other novelists as Shakespeare soars above all other dramatists the writings of Walter Scott had their place of honor in his library the collection of the Waverly novels at Tadmore had not been complete Enviable Emilius had still to read Rob Roy he opened the book for the rest of the day he was in love with Diana Vernon and when he looked out once or twice to the garden to rest his eyes he saw Andrew Fair service busy over the flower beds he closed the last page of the noble story as Toph came in to lay the cloth for dinner the master at table and the servant behind his chair were accustomed to gossip pleasantly during meals Emilius did his best to carry on the talk but he was no longer in the delightful world of illusion which Scott had opened to him the hard realities of his own everyday life had gathered round him again observing him with unobtrusive attention the Frenchman soon perceived the absence of the easy humor and the excellent appetite which distinguished his young master at other times May I venture to make a Remoxer? Toph inquired for a long pause in the conversation certainly and may I take the liberty of expressing my sentiments freely of course you may dear sir you have a pretty little simple dinner today Toph began forgive me for praising myself I am influenced by the natural pride of having cooked the dinner for soup you have crouton pas for meat you have turnedo à la sauce poivre for pudding you have pommes au beurre also nice and you hardly eat anything and your amiable conversation falls into a melancholy silence which fills me with regret is it you who are to blame for this no sir it is the life you lead I call it the life of a monk I call it the life of a hermit I say boldly it is the life of all others which is most unsympathetic to a young man like you part in the warmth of my expressions I am eager to make my language the language of utmost delicacy may I quote a little song it is in an old old old French piece long since forgotten called les maris garçons there are two lines in that song I have often heard my good father sing them which I will venture to apply to your case amour, delicatess et gait dont bombe français c'est la devise so you have naturally delicatess and gait but the last has for some days been under a cloud what is wanted to remove that cloud l'amour love as you say in English where is the charming woman who is the only ornament wanting to this sweet cottage why is she invisible a remedy that unhappy oversight sir you are here in a suburban paradise I consult my long experience and I implore you to invite Eve ha you smile your lost gaiety returns and you feel it as I do might I propose another glass of claret and the reappearance on the table of the turnedo à la poivre it was impossible to be melancholy in this man's company a sanctioned the return of the turnedo and tried the other glass of claret my good friend he said with something like a return of his old easy way you talk about charming women and your long experience let's hear what your experience has been for the first time tough began to look a little confused you have honored me sir by calling me your good friend he said after that I am sure you will not send me away if I own the truth no my heart tells me I shall not appeal to your indulgence in vain dear sir in the holidays which you kindly give me I provide competent persons to take care of the house in my absence don't I one person if you remember was a most handsome engaging young man he is if you please my son by my first wife now an angel in heaven another person who took care of the house on the next occasion was a little heart-eyed boy a miracle of discretion for his age he is my son by my second wife now another angel in heaven forgive me I have not done yet some days since you thought you heard an infant crying downstairs like a miserable wretch I lied I declared it was the infant in the next house ah sir it was my own cherubim baby by my third wife an angel close by in the edge where road established in a small milliner shop which will expand to great things by and by the intervals between my marriages are not worthy of your notice fugitive caprices sir fugitive caprices to summit all up as you say in England it is not in me to resist the enchanting sex if my third angel dies I shall tear my hair but I shall nonetheless take a fourth take a dozen if you like said amelius why should you have kept all this from my knowledge tough on his head I think it was one of my foreign mistakes he pleaded the servants advertisements in your English newspapers frighten me how does the most meritorious man servant denounce himself when he wants the best possible place he says he is without incumbrances gracious heaven what a dreadful word to describe the poor pretty harmless children I was afraid sir you might have some English objection to my incumbrances a young man a boy and a cherubim baby not to speak of the sacred memories of two women and the charming occasional society of a third all inextricably enveloped in the life of one amorous meritorious French person surely there was reason for hesitation here no matter I bless my stars I know better now and I withdraw myself from further notice permit me to recall your attention to the Rockford cheese and a mouthful of potato salad to correct the richness of him the dinner was over at last amelius was alone again it was a still evening not a breath of wind stirred among the trees in the garden no vehicles passed along the by-road in which the cottage stood now and then tough was audible downstairs singing French songs in a high cracked voice while he washed the plates and dishes and set everything in order for the night amelius looked at his bookshelves and felt that after Rob Roy there was no more reading for him that evening the slow minutes followed one another wearily the deadly depression of the earlier hours of the day was stealthily fastening its hold on him again how might he best resisted his healthy out-of-door habits at Tadmore suggested the only remedy that he could think of be his troubles what they might his one simple method of resisting them at all other times was his simple method now he went out for a walk for two hours he rambled about the great northwestern suburb of London perhaps he felt the heavy oppressive weather or perhaps his good dinner had not agreed with him anyway he was so thoroughly worn out that he was obliged to return to the cottage in a cab tough opened the door but not with his customary alacrity amelius was too completely fatigued to notice any trifling circumstance otherwise he would certainly have perceived something odd in the old Frenchman's withered face he looked at his master as he relieved him of his hat and coat with the strangest emotion of interest and anxiety modified by a certain sardonic sense of amusement underlying the more serious emotions a nasty dull evening amelius said wearily and tough always eager to talk at other times only answered yes sir and retreated at once to the kitchen regions the fire was bright the curtains were drawn the reading lamp with its ample green shade was on the table a more comfortable room no man could have found to receive him after a long walk reclining at his ease in his chair amelius thought of ringing for some restorative brandy and water while he was thinking he fell asleep and while he slept he dreamed was it a dream he certainly saw the library not fantastically transformed but just like what the room really was so far he might have been quite awake looking at the familiar objects around him but after a while an event happened which set the laws of reality at defiance simple sally miles away in the home made her appearance in the library nevertheless he saw the drawn curtains over the window parted from behind he saw the girl step out from them and stop looking at him timidly she was clothed in the plain dress that he had and she looked more charming in it than ever the beauty of health claimed kindred now in her pretty face with the beauty of youth the wan cheeks had begun to fill out and the pale lips were delicately suffused with their natural rosy red little by little her first fears seemed to subside she smiled and softly crossed the room and stood at his side after looking at him with a rapt expression of tenderness and delight she laid her hands on the arm of the chair and said in the quaintly quiet way which he remembered so well I want to kiss you she bent over him and kissed him with the innocent freedom of a child then she raised herself again and looked backwards and forwards between amelius and the lamp the firelight is the best she said darkness fell over the room as she spoke he saw her no more he heard her no more a blank interval followed there flowed over him the oblivion of perfect sleep his next conscious sensation was a feeling of cold he shivered and woke the impression of the dream was in his mind at the moment of waking he started as he raised himself in the chair was he dreaming still no he was certainly awake and as certainly the room was dark he looked and looked it was not to be denied as he was explained away there was the fire burning low and leaving the room chilly and there just visible on the table in the flicker of the dying flame was the extinguished lamp he mended the fire and put his hand on the bell to ring for toff and thought better of it what need had he of the lamp light he was too weary for reading he preferred going to sleep again and dreaming again of sally where was the harman dreaming where little soul so far away from him the happiest part of his life now was the part of it that was passed in sleep as the fresh coals began to kindle feebly he looked again at the lamp it was odd to say the least of it that the light should have accidentally gone out exactly at the right time to realize the fanciful extinction of it in his dream how was it there was no smell of a burnt out lamp he was too lazy or too tired to pursue the question let the mystery remain a mystery and let him rest in peace he settled himself fretfully in his chair what a fool he was to bother his head about a lamp instead of closing his eyes and going to sleep again the room began to recover its pleasant temperature he shifted the cushion in the chair so that it supported his head in perfect comfort but the capricious influences of sleep had deserted him he tried one position after another and all in vain it was a mere mockery even to shut his eyes he resigned himself to circumstances and stretched out his legs and looked at the companionable fire of late he had thought more frequently than usual of his past days in the community his mind went back again now to that bygone time the clock on the mantelpiece struck nine they were all at supper at Tadmore talking over the advance of the day he saw himself again at the long wooden table with shy little Mellison in the chair next to him and his favorite dog at his feet waiting to be fed where was Mellison now it was a sad letter that she had written to him with the strange fixed idea that he was to return to her one day there was something very winning and lovable about the poor creature who had lived such a hard life at home and had suffered so keenly it was a comfort to think that she would go back to the community what happier destiny could she hope for would she take care of his dog for him when she went back they had all promised to be kind to his pet animals in his absence but the dog was fond of Mellison he would be happier with Mellison than with the rest of them and his little tame fawn and his birds how were they doing he had not even written to inquire after them he had been cruelly forgetful of those harmless dumb loving friends in his present solitude in his dreary doubts of the future what would he not give to feel the dog nestling in his bosom and the fawn's little rough tongue licking his hand his heart ached as he thought of it a choking hysterical sensation oppressed his breathing he tried to rise and ring for lights and rouse his manhood to endure and resist it was not to be done where was his courage where was the cheerfulness which had never failed him at other time he sank back in his chair and hid his face in his hands for shame at his own weakness and burst out crying the touch of soft persuasive fingers suddenly thrilled through him his hands were gently drawn away from his face a familiar voice sweet and low said oh don't cry dimly through his tears he saw the well-remembered little figure standing between him and the fire in his unendurable loneliness he had longed for his dog he had longed for his fawn there was the martyred creature from the street whom he had rescued from nameless horror waiting to be his companion servant friend the child victim of cold and hunger still only feeling her way to womanhood innocent of all other aspirations so long as she might fill the place which had once been occupied by the dog and the fawn amelius looked at her with a momentary doubt whether he was waking or sleeping good god he cried am i dreaming again no she said simply you are awake this time let me dry your eyes i know where you put your handkerchief she perched on his knee and wiped away the tears and smoothed his hair over his forehead i was frightened to show myself till i heard you crying she confessed then i thought come he can't be angry with me now and i crept out from behind the curtains there the old man let me in i can't live without seeing you i've tried till i could try no longer i owned it to the old man when he opened the door i said i only want to look at him won't you let me in and he says god bless me here's eve come already i don't know what he meant he let me in that's all i care about he's a funny old foreigner send him away i'm to be your servant now why were you crying i've cried often enough about you no that can't be i can't expect you to cry about me i can only expect you to scold me i know i'm a bad girl she cast one doubtful look at him and hung her head waiting to be scolded amelius lost all control over himself he took her in his arms and kissed her again and again you are a dear good grateful little creature he burst out and suddenly stopped aware too late of the act of imprudence which he had committed he put her away from him he tried to ask severe questions and to administer merited reproof even if he had succeeded sally was too happy to listen to him it's all right now she cried i'm never never never to go back to the home oh i'm so happy let's light the lamp again she found the matchbox on the chimney piece in a minute more the room was bright amelius sat looking at her perfectly incapable of deciding what he ought to say or do next to complete his bewilderment the voice of the attentive old frenchman made itself heard through the door in discreetly confidential tones i have prepared an appetizing little supper sir said toff be pleased to ring when you and the young lady are ready end of book seven chapter two book seven chapter three of the fallen leaves this is a libervox recording all libervox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit libervox.org recording by rita butros the fallen leaves by wilkie collins book seven the vanishing hopes chapter three toff's interference proved to have its use the announcement of the little supper plainly implying simple sally's reception at the cottage reminded amelius of his responsibilities he at once stepped out into the passage and closed the door behind him the old frenchman was waiting to be reprimanded or thanked as the case might be with his head down his shoulder shrugged up to his ears and the palms of his hands spread out appealingly on either side of him a model of mute resignation to circumstances do you know that you have put me in a very awkward position amelius began toff lifted one of his hands to his heart you are aware of my weakness when the charming literature presented herself at the door sinking with fatigue i could no more resist her than i could take a hop skip and jump over the roof of this cottage if i have done wrong take no account of the proud fidelity with which i have served you tell me to pack up and go but don't ask me to assume a position of severity towards that enchanting miss it is not in my heart to do it said toff lifting his eyes with tearful solemnity to an imaginary heaven on my sacred word of honor as a frenchman i would die rather than do it don't talk nonsense amelius rejoined a little impatiently i don't blame you but you have got me into a scrape for all that if i did my duty i should send for a cab and take her back toff opened his twinkling old eyes in a perfect transport of astonishment what he cried take her back without rest without supper and you call that duty how inconceivably ugly does duty look when it assumes an inhospitable aspect towards a woman pardon me sir i must express my sentiments or i shall burst you will say perhaps that i have no conception of duty pardon me again my conception of duty is here he threw open the door of the sitting room in spite of his anxiety amelius burst out laughing the frenchman's inexhaustible contrivances had transformed the sitting room into a bedroom for sally the sofa had become a snug little white bed our hairbrush and comb and a bottle of odicolone were on the table a bath stood near the fire with cans of hot and cold water and a railway rug placed under them to save the carpet i dare not presume to contradict you sir sir toff but there is my conception of duty in the kitchen i have another conception keeping warm you can smell it up the stairs salmi of partridge with the littlest possible dash of garlic in the sauce oh sir let that angel rest and refresh herself virtuous severity believe me is a most horribly unbecoming virtue at your age he spoke quite seriously with the air of a profound moralist asserting principles that did equal honor to his head and his heart amelius went back to the library sally was resting in the easy chair her position showed plainly that she was suffering from fatigue i have had a long long walk she said and i don't know which eggs worst my back or my feet i don't care i'm quite happy now i'm here she nestled herself comfortably in the chair do you mind my looking at you she asked oh it's so long since i saw you there was a new undertone of tenderness in her voice innocent tenderness that openly avowed itself the reviving influences of the life at the home had done much and had much yet left to do her wasted face and figure were filling out her cheeks and lips were regaining their lovely natural color as amelius had seen in his dream but her eyes in repose still resumed their vacantly patient look and her manner with a perceptible increase of composure and confidence had not lost its quaint childish charm her growth from girl to woman was a growth of fine gradations guided by the unerring deliberation of nature and time do you think they will follow you here from the home amelius asked she looked at the clock i don't think so she said quietly it's hours since i slipped out by the back door they have very strict rules about runaway girls even when their friends bring them back if you send me back she stopped and looked thoughtfully what will you do if i send you back what one of our girls did before they took her in at the home she jumped into the river made a hole in the water that's how she calls it she's a big strong girl and they got her out and saved her she says it wasn't painful till they brought her to again i'm little and weak i don't think they could bring me to life if they tried amelius made a futile attempt to reason with her she even got so far as to tell her that she had done very wrong to leave the home sally's answer set all further expostulation at defiance instead of attempting to defend herself she sighed wearily and said i had no money i walked all the way here the well intended remonstrances of amelius were lost in compassionate surprise you poor little soul he exclaimed it must be seven or eight miles at least i dare say said sally it it don't matter now i found you but how did you find me who told you where i lived she smiled and took from her bosom the photograph of the cottage but mrs. pacen cut off the address cried amelius bursting out with the truth in the impulse of the moment sally turned over the photograph and pointed to the back of the card on which the photographer's name and address were printed mrs. pacen didn't think of this she said shyly did you think of it sally shook her head i'm too stupid she replied the girl who made the hole in the water put me up to it have you made up your mind to run away she says and i said yes you go to the man who did the picture she says he knows where the place is i'll be bound i asked my way till i found him and he did know he was a good sort he gave me a glass of beer he said i looked so tired i said we'd go and have our portraits taken someday you and your servant may i tell the funny old foreigner that he is to go away now i have come to you the complete simplicity with which she betrayed her jealousy of toff made amelius smile sally watching every change in his face instantly drew her own conclusion she said cheerfully don't keep your room cleaner than he keeps it i smelled dust on the curtains when i was hiding from you amelius thought of his dream did you come out while i was asleep he asked yes i wasn't frightened of you when you were asleep i had a good look at you and i gave you a kiss she made that confession without the slightest sign of confusion her calm blue eyes looked him straight in the face you got restless she went on frightened again i put out the lamp i says to myself if he does scold me i can bear it better in the dark amelius listened wondering had he seen drowsily what he thought he had dreamed or was there some mysterious sympathy between sally and himself the occult speculations were interrupted by sally may i take off my bonnet and make myself tidy she asked some men might have said no amelius was not one of them the library possessed a door of communication with the sitting room the bed chamber occupied by amelius being on the other side of the cottage when sally saw toff's reconstructed room she stood at the door in speechless admiration of the vision of luxury revealed to her from time to time amelius alone in the library heard her dabbling in her bath and humming the artless old english song from which she had taken her name once she knocked at the closed door and made a request through it there is scent on the table may i have some and once toff knocked at the other door opening into the passage and asked when pretty young miss would be ready for supper events went on in the little household as if sally had become an integral part of it already what am i to do amelius asked himself and toff entering at the moment to lay the cloth answered respectfully hurry the young person sir or the salmi will be spoiled she came out from her room walking delicately on her sore feet so fresh and charming that toff absorbed in admiration made a mistake in folding a napkin for the first time in his life champagne of course sir he said in confidence to amelius the salmi of partridge appeared the inspiring wine sparkled in the glasses toff surpassed himself in all the qualities which made a servant invaluable at his supper table sally forgot the home forgot the cruel streets and laughed and chattered as gaily as the happiest girl living amelius expanding in the joyous atmosphere of youth and good spirits shook off his sense of responsibility and became once more the delightful companion who won everybody's love the effervescent gaiety of the evening was at its climax the awful forms of duty, propriety and good sense had been long since left out of the room when nemesis, goddess of retribution announced her arrival outside by a crashing of carriage wheels and a peremptory ring at the cottage bell there was dead silence amelius and sally looked at each other and experienced toff at once guessed what had happened is it her father or mother he asked of amelius a little anxiously hearing that she had never even seen her father or mother he snapped his fingers joyously and led the way on tiptoe into the hall I have my idea he whispered let us listen a woman's voice high, clear and resolute speaking apparently to the coachman was the next audible sound say I come from mrs. pason and must see mr. goldenheart directly sally trembled and turned pale the matron she said faintly oh don't let her in amelius took the terrified girl back to the library toff followed them respectfully asking to be told what a matron was receiving the necessary explanation he expressed his contempt for matrons bent on carrying charming persons toff by opening the library door and spitting into the hall having relieved his mind in this way he returned to his master and laid a lank skinny forefinger cunningly along the side of his nose I suppose sir you don't want to see this furious woman he said before it was possible to say anything in reply another ring at the bell announced that the furious woman wanted to see amelius toff read his master's wishes in his master's face not even this emergency could find him unprepared he was as ready to circumvent a matron as to cook a dinner the shutters are up and the curtains are drawn he reminded amelius not a morsel of light is visible outside let them ring we have all gone to bed he turned to sally grinning with impish enjoyment of his own strategy what do you think of that there was a third pull at the bell as he spoke ring away mrs. matron he cried we are fast asleep wake us if you can the fourth ring was the last a sharp crack revealed the breaking of the bell wire and was followed by the shrill fall of the iron handle on the pavement before the garden gate the gate like the palings was protected at the top from invading cats compose yourself miss said toff if she tries to get over the gate she will stick on the spikes in another moment the sound of retiring carriage wheels announced the defeat of the matron and settled the serious question of receiving sally for the night she sat silent by the window when toff had left the room holding back the curtains and looking out at the murky sky what are you looking for amelius asked i was looking for the stars amelius joined her at the window there are no stars to be seen tonight she let the curtain fall too again i was thinking of night time at the home she said you see i got on pretty well in the day with my reading and writing i wanted so to improve myself my mind was troubled with the fear of your despising such an ignorant creature as i am so i kept on at my lessons i thought i might surprise you by writing you a pretty letter someday one of the teachers she's gone away ill was very good to me i used to talk to her and when i said a wrong word she took me up and told me the right one she said you would think better of me when you heard me speak properly and i do speak better don't i all this was in the day it was the night that was the hard time to get through when the other girls were all asleep and i had nothing to think of but how far away i was from you i used to get up and put the counter pain round me and stand at the window on fine nights the stars were company to me there were two stars near together that i got to know don't laugh at me i used to think one of them was you and one of them me i wondered whether you would die or i should die before i saw you again almost always it was my star that went out first lord how i used to cry it got into my poor stupid head that i should never see you again i do believe i ran away because of that you won't tell anybody will you it was so foolish i am ashamed of it now i wanted to see your star and my star tonight i don't know why oh i'm so fond of you she dropped on her knees and took his hand and put it on her head it's burning hot she said and your kind hand cools it amelius raised her gently and led her to the door of her room my poor Sally you are quite worn out you want rest and sleep let us say good night i will do anything you tell me she answered if mrs. Payson comes tomorrow you won't let her take me away thank you good night she put her hands on his shoulders with innocent familiarity and lifted herself to him on tiptoe and kissed him as a sister might have kissed him long after Sally was asleep in her bed amelius sat by the library fire thinking the revival of the crushed feeling and fancy in the girl's nature so artlessly revealed in her sad little story of the stars that were company to her not only touched and interested him but clouded his view of the future with doubts and anxieties that had never troubled him until that moment the mysterious influences under which the girl's development was advancing were working morally and physically together weeks might pass harmlessly months might pass harmlessly but the time must come when the innocent relations between them would be beset by peril unable as yet fully to realize these truths amelius nevertheless felt them vaguely his face was troubled as he lit the candle at last to go to his bed I don't see my way as clearly as I could wish he reflected how will it end how indeed end of book seven chapter three book seven chapter four of the fallen leaves this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information please visit LibriVox.org recording by Rita Boutros the fallen leaves by Wilkie Collins book seven the vanishing hopes chapter four at eight o'clock the next morning amelius was awakened by Toff a letter had arrived marked immediate and the messenger was waiting for an answer the letter was from mrs. Payson she wrote briefly and informal terms after referring to the matrons fruitless visit to the cottage on the previous night mrs. Payson proceeded in these words I request you will immediately let me know whether Sally has taken refuge with you and has passed the night under your roof if I am right in believing that she has done so I have only to inform you that the doors of the home are henceforth closed to her in conformity with our rules if I am wrong it will be my painful duty to lose no time in placing the matter in the hands of the police amelius began his reply acting on impulse as usual he wrote vehemently remonstrating with mrs. Payson on the unforgiving and unchristian nature of the rules at the home before he was halfway through his composition the person who had brought the letter sent a message to say he was expected back immediately and that he hoped Mr. Goldenheart would not get a poor man into trouble by keeping him much longer checked in the full flow of his eloquence, amelius angrily tore up the unfinished remonstrance and matched mrs. Payson's briefly business-like language by an answer in one line I beg to inform you that you are quite right on reflection he felt that the second letter was not only discourteous as a reply to a lady but also ungrateful as addressed to mrs. Payson personally at the third attempt he wrote becomingly as well as briefly Sally has passed the night here as my guest she was suffering from severe fatigue it would have been an act of downright inhumanity to send her away I regret your decision but of course I submit to it you once said you believed explicitly in the purity of my motives do me the justice however you may blame my conduct to believe in me still having dispatched these lines the mind of amelius was at ease again he went into the library and listened to hear if Sally was moving the perfect silence on the other side of the door informed him that the weary girl was still fast asleep he gave directions that she was not to be disturbed and sat down to breakfast by himself while he was still at table Toff appeared with profound mystery in his manner and discreet confidence in the tones of his voice here's another one sir the Frenchman announced in his master's ear another one amelius repeated what you mean she is not like the sweet little sleeping miss Toff explained this time sir it's the beauty of the devil himself as we say in fonts she refuses to confide in me and she appears to be agitated both bad signs shall I get rid of her before the other miss wakes hasn't she got a name amelius asked Toff answered in his foreign accent one name on the bay bay do you mean Phoebe have I not said it sir show her indirectly Toff glanced at the door of Sally's room shrugged his shoulders and obeyed his instructions Phoebe appeared looking pale and anxious her customary assurance of manner had completely deserted her she stopped in the doorway as if she was afraid to enter the room come in and sit down said amelius what's the matter I'm troubled in my mind sir Phoebe answered I know it's taking a liberty to come to you yesterday to ask Miss Regina's advice and found she had gone abroad with her uncle I have something to say about Mrs. Farneby sir and there's no time to be lost in saying it I know of nobody but you that I can speak to now Miss Regina is away the footman told me where you lived she stopped evidently in the greatest embarrassment amelius tried to encourage her if I can be of any use to Mrs. Farneby he said tell me at once what to do Phoebe's eyes dropped before his straightforward look as he spoke to her I must ask you to please excuse my mentioning name sir she resumed confusedly there's a person I'm interested in whom I wouldn't get into trouble for the whole world he's been misled I'm sure he's been misled by another person a wicked drunken old woman who ought to be in prison if she had her desserts I'm not free from blame myself I know I'm not I listen sir to what I ought to have heard and I told it again I'm sure in the strictest confidence and not meaning anything wrong to the person I've mentioned not the old women I mean the person I'm interested in I hope you understand me sir I wish to speak openly accepting the names on account of Mrs. Farneby Amelia's thought of Phoebe's vindictive language the last time he had seen her he looked towards a cabinet in a corner of the room in which he had placed Mrs. Farneby's letter an instinctive distrust of his visitor began to rise in his mind his manner altered he turned to his plate and went on with his breakfast can't you speak to me plainly he said is Mrs. Farneby in any trouble yes sir and can I do anything to help her out of it I am sure you can sir if you only knew where to find her I do know where to find her she has written to tell me the last time I saw you you expressed yourself very improperly about Mrs. Farneby you spoke as if you meant some harm to her I mean nothing but good to her now sir very well then can't you go and speak to her yourself if I give you the address Phoebe's pale face flushed a little I couldn't do that sir she answered after the way Mrs. Farneby has treated me besides if she knew that I had listened to what passed between her and you she stopped again more painfully embarrassed than ever Emilius laid down his knife and fork look here he said this sort of thing is not in my way if you can't make a clean breast of it let's talk of something else I'm very much afraid he went on with his customary absence of all concealment you're not the harmless sort of girl I once took you for what do you mean by what passed between Mrs. Farneby and me Phoebe put her handkerchief to her eyes it's very hard to speak to me so harshly she said when I'm sorry for what I've done and I'm only anxious to prevent harm coming of it what have you done cried honest Emilius an inveterately indirect way of explaining herself to him the flash of his quick temper in his eyes as he put that straightforward question roused a responsive temper in Phoebe which stung her into speaking openly at last she told Emilius what she had heard in the kitchen as plainly as she had told it to Jervie with this one difference that she spoke without insolence when she referred to Mrs. Farneby listening in silence until she had done Emilius started to his feet and opening the cabinet took from it Mrs. Farneby's letter he read the letter keeping his back towards Phoebe waited a moment thinking and suddenly turned on the woman with a look that made her shrink in her chair you wretch he said you detestable wretch in the terror of the moment Phoebe attempted to leave the room Mrs. Farneby stopped her instantly sit down again he said I mean to have the whole truth out of you now Phoebe recovered her courage you have had the whole truth sir I could tell you no more if I was on my deathbed Emilius refused to believe her there is a vile conspiracy against Mrs. Farneby he said do you mean to tell me you are not in it so help me God sir I never even heard of it till yesterday the tone in which she spoke shook the conviction of Emilius the indescribable ring of truth was in it there are two people who are cruelly deluding and plundering this poor lady he went on who are they I told you if you remember that I couldn't mention names sir Emilius looked again at the letter after what he had heard there was no difficulty in identifying the invisible young man alluded to by Mrs. Farneby with the unnamed person in whom Phoebe was interested who was he as the question passed through his mind Emilius remembered the vagabond whom he had recognized with Phoebe in the street there was no doubt of it now the man who was directing the conspiracy in the dark was Jervie Emilius would unquestionably have been rash enough to reveal this discovery if Phoebe had not stopped him his renewed reference to Mrs. Farneby's letter and his sudden silence after looking at it roused the woman's suspicions if you're planning to get my friend into trouble she burst out not another word shall pass my lips even Emilius profited by the warning which that threat unintentionally conveyed to him keep your own secrets he said I only want to spare Mrs. Farneby a dreadful disappointment but I must know what I am talking about when I go to her can't you tell me how you found out this abominable swindle Phoebe was perfectly willing to tell him interpreting her long involved narrative into plain English with the names added these were the facts related Mrs. Sauer bearing in mind some talk which had passed between them on the occasion of a supper had called at Phoebe's lodgings on the previous day she had turned her into communicating what she knew of Mrs. Farneby's secrets the trap failing Mrs. Sauer had tried bribery next had promised Phoebe a large sum of money to be equally divided between them if she would only speak had declared that Jervie was perfectly capable of breaking his promise of marriage and leaving them both in the lurch if he once got the money into his own pocket and had thus informed Phoebe that the conspiracy which was supposed to have been abandoned was really in full progress without her knowledge she had temporized with Mrs. Sauer being afraid to set such a person openly at defiance and had hurried away at once to have an explanation with Jervie he was reported to be not at home her fruitless visit to Regina had followed and there so far as facts were concerned was an end of the story Amelius asked her no questions and spoke as briefly as possible when she had done I will go to Mrs. Farneby this morning was all he said would you please let me hear how it ends Phoebe asked Amelius pushed his pocketbook and pencil across the table to her pointing to a blank leaf on which she could write her address while she was thus employed and the inventive Toph came in and with his eye on Phoebe whispered in his master's ear he had heard Sally moving about would it be more convenient under the circumstances if she had her breakfast in her own room Toph's astonishment was a sight to see when Amelius answered certainly not let her breakfast here Phoebe rose to go her parting words revealed the double-sided nature that was in her the good and evil in perpetual conflict which should be uppermost please don't mention me sir to Mrs. Farneby she said I don't forgive her for what she's done to me I don't say I won't be even with her yet but not in that way I won't have her death laid at my door oh but I know her temper and I say it's as likely as not to kill her or drive her mad if she isn't warned about it in time never mind her losing her money if it's lost it's lost and she's got plenty more she may be robbed a dozen times over for all I care but don't let her set her heart on seeing her child and then find it's all a swindle I hate her but I can't and won't let that go on good morning sir Amelius was relieved by her departure for a minute or two he sat absently stirring his coffee and considering how he might most safely perform the terrible duty of putting Mrs. Farneby on her guard Toph interrupted his meditations by preparing the table for Sally's breakfast and almost at the same moment Sally herself, fresh and rosy opened her door a little way and looked in you have had a fine long sleep have you quite got over your walk yesterday oh yes she answered gaily I only feel my long walk now in my feet it hurts me to put my boots on can you lend me a pair of slippers a pair of my slippers why Sally you would be lost in them what's the matter with your feet they're both sore and I think one of them has got a blister on it come in and let's have a look at it she came limping in with her feet bare don't scold me she pleaded I couldn't put my stockings on again without washing them and they're not dry yet I'll get you new stockings and slippers said Emilius which is the foot with the blister the left foot she answered pointing to it end of book 7 chapter 4 book 7 chapter 5 of the fallen leaves this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by Rita Butros the fallen leaves by Wilkie Collins book 7 the vanishing hopes chapter 5 let me see the blister said Emilius Sally looked longingly at the fire may I warm my feet first she asked they are so cold in those words she innocently deferred the discovery which if it had been made at the moment might have altered the whole after course of events Emilius only thought now of preventing her from catching cold he sent Toph for a pair of the warmest socks that he possessed and asked if he should put them on for her she smiled and shook her head and put them on for herself when they had done laughing at the absurd appearance of the little feet in the large socks they only drifted further and farther away from the subject of the blistered foot Sally remembered the terrible matron and asked if anything had been heard of her that morning being told that Mrs. Payson had written and that the doors of the institution were closed to her she recovered her spirits and began to wonder whether the offended authorities would let her have her clothes Toph offered to go and make the inquiry later in the day suggesting the purchase of slippers and stockings in the meantime while Sally was having her breakfast Emilius approved of the suggestion and Toph set off on his errand with one of Sally's boots for a pattern the morning had by that time advanced to ten o'clock Emilius stood before the fire talking while Sally had her breakfast having first explained the reasons which made it impossible that she should live at the cottage in the capacity of his servant he astonished her by announcing that he meant to undertake the superintendence of her education himself they were to be master and pupil while the lessons were in progress and brother and sister at other times and they were to see how they got on together on this plan without indulging in any needless anxiety about the future Emilius believed with perfect sincerity that he had hit on the only sensible arrangement under the circumstances and Sally cried joyously oh how good you are to me the happy life has come at last at the hour when those words passed the daughter's lips the discovery of the conspiracy burst upon the mother in all its baseness and in all its horror the suspicion of her infamous employer which had induced Mrs. Sauer to attempt to intrude herself into Phoebe's confidence led her to make a visit of investigation at Gervie's lodgings later in the day informed as Phoebe had been informed that he was not at home she called again some hours afterwards by that time the landlord had discovered that Gervie's luggage had been secretly conveyed away and that his tenant had left him in debt for rent of the two best rooms in the house no longer in any doubt of what had happened Mrs. Sauer employed the remaining hours of the evening in making inquiries after the missing man not a trace of him had been discovered up to eight o'clock on the next morning shortly after nine o'clock that is to say towards the hour at which Phoebe paid her visit to Emilius her resolute to know the worst made her appearance at the apartments occupied by Mrs. Farnaby I wish to speak to you she began abruptly about that young man we both know of have you seen anything of him lately Mrs. Farnaby steadily on her guard deferred answering the question why do you want to know she said the reply was instantly ready because I have reason to believe he has bolted with your money in his pocket he has done nothing of the sort Mrs. Farnaby rejoined has he got your money Mrs. Sauer persisted tell me the truth and I'll do the same by you he has cheated me if you're cheated too it's your own interest to lose no time in finding him the police may catch him yet has he got your money the woman was in earnest in terrible earnest she had witnessed to it she stood there the living impersonation of those doubts and fears which Mrs. Farnaby had confessed in writing to Emilius her position at that moment was essentially a position of command Mrs. Farnaby felt it in spite of herself she acknowledged that Jervie had got the money did you send it to him or give it to him Mrs. Sauer asked I gave it to him again yesterday evening Mrs. Sauer clenched her fists and shook them in impotent rage he's the biggest scoundrel living she exclaimed furiously and you're the biggest fool put on your bonnet and come to the police if you get your money back again before he spent it all don't forget it was through me the audacity of the woman's language roused Mrs. Farnaby she pointed to the door you are an insolent creature she said I have nothing more to do with you you have nothing more to do with me Mrs. Sauer repeated you and the young man have settled it all between you I suppose she laughed scornfully I dare say now you expect to see him again Mrs. Farnaby was irritated into answering this I expect to see him this morning she said at 10 o'clock and the lost young lady with him said nothing about my lost daughter I won't even hear you speak of her Mrs. Sauer sat down look at your watch she said it must be nigh on 10 o'clock by this time you'll make a disturbance in the house if you try to turn me out I mean to wait here till 10 o'clock on the point of answering angrily Mrs. Farnaby restrained herself you are trying to force a quarrel on me she said you shan't spoil the happiest morning of my life Mrs. Sauer looked at the door she opened the door that led into her bed chamber and shut herself in perfectly impenetrable to any repulse that could be offered to her Mrs. Sauer looked at the closed door with a sardonic smile and waited the clock in the hall struck 10 Mrs. Farnaby returned again to the sitting room walked straight to the window and looked out any sign of him said Mrs. Sauer Mrs. Farnaby drew a chair to the window and sat down her hands turned icy cold she still looked out into the street I'm going to guess what's happened Mrs. Sauer resumed I'm a sociable creature you know and I must talk about something about the money now has the young man had his traveling expenses of you to go to foreign parts and bring your girl back with him eh I expect that's how it was you see I know him so well and what happened if you please yesterday evening did he tell you he brought her back and got her at his own place and did he say he wouldn't let you see her till you paid him his reward as well as his traveling expenses and did you forget my warning to you not to trust him I'm a good one at guessing when I try I see you think so yourself any signs of him yet Mrs. Farnaby looked round from the window her manner was completely changed she was nervously civil to the wretch who was torturing her I beg your pardon ma'am if I have offended you she said faintly I am a little upset I am so anxious about my poor child perhaps you are a mother yourself you oughtn't to frighten me you ought to feel for me she paused and put her hand to her head he told me yesterday evening she went on slowly and vacantly that my poor darling was at his lodgings he said she was so worn out with the long journey from abroad that she must have a night's rest before she could come to me I asked him to tell me where he lived and let me go to her he said she was asleep and must not be disturbed I promised to go in on tiptoe and only look at her I offered him more money double the money to tell me where she was he was very hard on me he said wait till 10 tomorrow morning and wished me good night I ran out to follow him and fell on the stairs and hurt myself the people of the house were very kind to me she turned her head back towards the window and looked out into the street again I must be patient she said he's only a little late Mrs. Sallow rose and tapped her smartly on the shoulder lies she burst out he knows no more where your daughter is off with your money the woman's hateful touch struck out a spark of the old fire and Mrs. Farnaby her natural force of character asserted itself once more you lie she rejoined leave the room the door was opened while she spoke a respectable woman servant came in with a letter Mrs. Farnaby took it mechanically and looked at the address Jervie's feigned handwriting to her in the instant when she recognized it the life seemed to go out of her like an extinguished light she stood pale and still and silent with the unopened letter in her hand watching her with malicious curiosity Mrs. Sallow coolly possessed herself of the letter looked at it and recognized the writing in her turn stopped she cried as the servant was on the point of going out there's no stamp on this letter is the messenger waiting the respectable servant showed her opinion of Mrs. Sallow plainly in her face she replied as briefly and as ungraciously as possible no man or woman was the next question am I to answer this person ma'am said the servant looking at Mrs. Farnaby answer me instantly Mrs. Sallow interposed in Mrs. Farnaby's own interest don't you see she can't speak to you herself the servant it was a man a man with a squint yes which way did he go towards the square Mrs. Sallow tossed the letter on the table and hurried out of the room the servant approached Mrs. Farnaby you haven't opened your letter yet ma'am she said no said Mrs. Farnaby vacantly I haven't opened it yet I'm afraid it's bad news ma'am yes I think it's bad news is there anything I can do for you no thank you yes one thing open my letter for me please it was a strange request to make the servant wondered and obeyed she was a kind hearted woman she really felt for the poor lady but the familiar household devil whose name is curiosity and whose opportunities are innumerable prompted her next words when she had taken the letter out of the envelope shall I read it to you ma'am no put it down on the table please I'll ring when I want you the mother was alone alone with her death warrant waiting for her on the table the clock downstairs struck the half hour after ten she moved for the first time since she had received the letter once more she went to the window and looked out it was only for a moment she turned away again with a sudden contempt for herself cool I am she said and took up the open letter she looked at it and put it down again why should I read it she asked herself when I know what is in it without reading some framed woodcuts from the illustrated newspapers were hung on the walls one of them represented a scene of rescue from shipwreck a mother embracing her daughter saved by the lifeboat was among the foreground groups of women she looked at it with a moment's steady attention providence has its favorites she said I am not one of them after thinking a little she went into her bedroom and took two papers out of her dressing case they were medical prescriptions she turned next to the chimney piece two medicine bottles were placed on it she took one of them down a bottle of the ordinary size as a six ounce bottle it contained a colorless liquid the label stated the dose to be two tablespoonfuls and bore as usual a number corresponding with a number placed on the prescription she took up the prescription it was a mixture of bicarbonate of soda and prusik acid intended for the relief of indigestion she looked at the date and was at once reminded of one of the very rare occasions on which she had required the services of a medical man there had been a serious accident at a dinner party given by some friends she had eaten sparingly of a certain dish from which some of the other guests had suffered severely it was discovered that the food had been cooked in an old copper saucepan in her case the trifling result had been a disturbance of digestion and nothing more the doctor had prescribed accordingly she had taken but one dose with her healthy constitution she despised physique the remainder of the mixture was still in the bottle she considered again with herself then went back to the chimney piece and took down the second bottle it contained a colorless liquid also but it was only half the size of the first bottle and not a drop had been taken she waited observing the difference between the two bottles with extraordinary attention in this case also the prescription was in her possession but it was not the original a line at the top stated that it was a copy made by the chemist at the request of a customer it bore the date of more than three years since a morsel of paper was pinned to the prescription containing some lines in a woman's handwriting with your enviable health and strength my dear I should have thought you were the last person in the world to want a tonic however, here is my prescription if you must have it be very careful to take the right dose because there is poison in it the prescription contained three ingredients strychnine, quinine and nitrohydrochloric acid and the dose was 15 drops in water Mrs. Farnaby lit a match and burned the lines of her friend's writing as long ago as that she reflected I thought of killing myself why didn't I do it the paper having been destroyed she put back the prescription for indigestion in her dressing case hesitated for a moment and opened the bedroom window it looked into a lonely little courtyard she threw the dangerous contents of the second and smaller bottle out into the yard and then put it back empty on the chimney piece moment of hesitation she returned to the sitting room with the bottle of mixture and the copied prescription for the tonic strychnine drops in her hand she put the bottle on the table and advanced to the fireplace to ring the bell warm as the room was she began to shiver did the eager life in her feel the fatal purpose that she was meditating and shrink from it instead of ringing the bell to warm herself other women would get relief in crying she thought I wish I was like other women the whole sad truth about herself was in that melancholy aspiration no relief in tears no merciful oblivion in a fainting fit for her the terrible strength of the vital organization in this woman knew no yielding to the unutterable misery that rung her to the soul it roused its glorious forces it held her in a stony quiet with a grip of iron she turned away from the fire wondering at herself what baseness is there in me that fears death what have I got to live for now the open letter on the table caught her eye this will do it she said and snatched it up and read it at last the least I can do for you is to act like a gentleman and spare you unnecessary suspense you will not see me this morning attend for the simple reason that I really don't know and never did know where to find your daughter I wish I was rich enough to return the money not being able to do that I will give you a word of advice instead the next time you confide any secrets of yours to Mr. Goldenheart take better care that no third person hears you she read those atrocious lines without any visible disturbance of the dreadful composure that possessed her her mind made no effort to discover the person who had listened and betrayed her to all ordinary curiosities to all ordinary emotions she was morally dead already the one thought in her was a thought that might have occurred to a man if I only had my hands on his throat how I could wring the life out of him as it is instead of pursuing the reflection she threw the letter into the fire and rang the bell take this at once to the nearest chemist she said giving the strict nine prescription to the servant and wait please and bring it back with you she opened her desk when she was alone and tore up the letters and papers in it this done she took her pen and wrote a letter it was addressed to Emilius when the servant entered the room again bringing with her the prescription made up the clock downstairs struck eleven end of book seven chapter five book seven chapter six of The Fallen Leaves this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by Rita Butros The Fallen Leaves by Wilkie Collins book seven The Vanishing Hopes chapter six Toph returned to the cottage with the slippers and the stockings what a time you have been gone said Emilius it is not my fault sir Toph explained the stockings I obtained without difficulty but the nearest shoe shop in this neighborhood sold only clothes, manufacturers and all too large I had to go to my wife and get her to take me to the right place see he exclaimed producing a pair of quilted silk slippers with blue rosette here is a design that is really wealthy of pretty feet try them on miss Sally's eyes sparkled at the sight of the slippers she rose at once and limped away to her room Emilius observing that she still walked in pain called her back I had forgotten the blister he said before you put on the new stockings Sally let me see your foot he turned to Toph you're always ready with everything he went on I wonder whether you have got a needle and a bit of worsted thread the old Frenchman answered with an air of respectful reproach knowing me sir as you do he said could you doubt for a moment that I mend my own clothes and don my own stockings he withdrew to his bedroom below and returned with a leather roll when you are ready sir he said opening the roll at the table and threading the needle while Sally removed the sock from her left foot she took a chair near the window at the suggestion of Emilius he knelt down so as to raise her foot to his knee turn a little more towards the light he said he took the foot in his hand lifted it looked at it and suddenly let it drop back on the floor a cry of alarm from Sally instantly brought Toph to the window oh look she cried he's ill Toph lifted Emilius to a chair for God's sake sir cried the terrified old man what's the matter Emilius had turned to the strange ashy paleness which is only seen in men of his floored complexion overwhelmed by sudden emotion he stammered when he tried to speak fetch the bandy said Toph pointing to the liquor case on the sideboard Sally brought it at once the strong stimulants steadied Emilius I'm sorry to have frightened you he said faintly Sally dear dear little Sally go in and get your things on directly you must come out with me I'll tell you why afterwards my God why didn't I find this out before he noticed Toph wondering and trembling good old fellow don't alarm yourself you shall know about it too go run get the first cab you can find left alone for a few minutes he had time to compose himself he did his best to take advantage of the time he tried to prepare his mind for the coming interview with Mrs. Farnaby I must be careful of what I do he thought conscious of the overwhelming effect he had on himself she doesn't expect me to bring her daughter to her Sally returned to him ready to go out she seemed to be afraid of him when he approached her and took her hand have I done anything wrong she asked in her childish way are you going to take me to some other home the tone and look with which she put the question burst through the restraints which Emilius had imposed on himself for her sake my dear child he said what a great surprise I'm dying to tell you the truth and I hardly dare do it he took her in his arms she trembled piteously instead of answering him she reiterated her question are you going to take me to some other home he could endure it no longer this is the happiest day of your life Sally he cried I'm going to take you to your mother he held her close to him and looked at her in dread she lifted her eyes to him in vacant fear and surprise she burst into no expression of delight no overwhelming emotion made her sink fainting in his arms the sacred associations which gather round the mere name of mother were associations unknown to her the man who held her to him so tenderly the hero who had pitied and saved her was father and mother both to her simple mind she dropped her head on his breast her faltering voice told him that she was crying will my mother take me away from you she asked oh do promise to bring me back with you to the cottage for the moment and the moment only Amelia's was disappointed in her the generous sympathies in his nature guided him unerringly to the truer view he remembered what her life had been inexpressible pity for her filled his heart oh my poor Sally the time is coming when you will not think as you think now I will do nothing to distress you you mustn't cry you must be happy and loving and true to your mother she dried her eyes I'll do anything you tell me she said as long as you bring me back with you Amelia sighed and said no more he took her out with him gravely and silently when the cab was announced to be ready double your fare he said when he gave the driver his instructions you get there in a quarter of an hour it wanted 25 minutes to 12 when the cab left the cottage at that moment the contrast of feeling between the two could hardly have been more strongly marked in proportion as Amelia's became more and more agitated so Sally recovered the composure and confidence that she had lost the first question she put to him related not to her mother but to his strange behavior when he had knelt down to look at her foot he answered explaining to her briefly and plainly what his conduct meant the description of what had passed between her mother and Amelia's interested and yet perplexed her how can she be so fond of me without knowing anything about me for all those years she asked is my mother a lady don't tell her where you found me she might be ashamed of me she paused and looked at Amelia's anxiously are you vexed about something may I take hold of your hand Amelia's gave her his hand and Sally was satisfied as the cab drew up at the house the door was opened from within a gentleman dressed in black hurriedly came out looked at Amelia's and spoke to him as he stepped from the cab to the pavement I beg your pardon sir may I ask if you are any relative of the lady who lives in this house no relative Amelia's answered only a friend who brings good news to her the stranger's grave face suddenly became compassionate as well as grave I must speak with you before you go upstairs he said lowering his voice as he looked at Sally still seated in the cab you will perhaps excuse the liberty I am taking when I tell you that I am a medical man come into the hall for a moment and don't bring the young lady with you Amelia's told Sally to wait in the cab she saw his altered looks and entreated him not to leave her he promised to keep the house door open so that she could see him while he was away from her and hastened into the hall I am sorry to say I have bad very bad news for you the doctor began time is of serious importance I must speak plainly you have heard of mistakes made by taking the wrong bottle of medicine the poor lady upstairs is in fear in a dying state from an accident of that sort try to compose yourself you may really be of use to me if you are firm enough to take my place while I am away Amelia studied himself instantly what I can do I will do he answered the doctor looked at him I believe you he said now listen in this case a dose limited to 15 drops has been confounded with a dose of two table spoon bottles and the drug taken by mistake is strict nine one grain of the poison has been known to prove fatal she has taken three the convulsion fits have begun antidotes are out of the question the poor creature can swallow nothing I have heard of opium as a possible means of relief and I am going to get the instrument for injecting it under the skin not that I have much belief in the remedy but I must try something have you courage enough to hold her if another of the convulsions comes on in my absence will it relieve her if I hold her Amelia's asked certainly then I promise to do it mind you must do it thoroughly there are only two women upstairs both perfectly useless in this emergency if she shrieks to you to be held exert your strength take her with a firm grasp if you only touch her I can't explain it but it is so you will make matters worse the servant ran downstairs while he was speaking don't leave us sir I'm afraid it's coming on again this gentleman will help you while I am away said the doctor one word more he went on addressing Amelia's in the intervals between the fits she is perfectly conscious able to listen and even to speak if she has any last wishes to communicate make good use of the time she may die of exhaustion at any moment I will be back directly he hurried to the door take my cab said Amelia's and save time but the young lady leave her to me he opened the cab door and gave his hand to Sally it was done in a moment the doctor drove off Amelia saw the servant waiting for them in the hall he spoke to Sally telling her considerably what he had heard before he took her into the house I had such good hopes for you he said and it has come to this dreadful end have you courage to go through with it if I take you to her bedside you will be glad one day my dear to remember that you cheered your mother's last moments on earth Sally put her hand in his I will go anywhere she said softly with you Amelia's led her into the house the servant in pity for her youth ventured on a word of remonstrance oh sir you're not going to let the poor young lady see that dreadful sight upstairs you mean well Amelia's answered and I thank you if you knew what I know you would take her upstairs too show the way Sally looked at him in silent awe as they followed the servant together he was not like the same man his brows were knit his lips were fast set he had the girl's hand in a grip that hurt her the latent strength of will in him that reserved resolution so finally and firmly entwined in the natures of sensitively organized men was rousing itself to meet the coming trial the doctor would have doubly believed in him if the doctor had seen him at that moment they reached the first floor landing before the servant could open the drawing room door a shriek ran frightfully through the silence of the house the servant drew back and crouched trembling on the upper stairs at the same moment the door was flung open and another woman ran out wild with terror I can't bear it she cried and rushed up the stairs blind to the presence of strangers in the panic that possessed her Amelia's entered the drawing room with his arm around Sally holding her up as he placed her in a chair the dreadful cry was renewed and only waited to rouse and encourage her by a word and a look and ran into the bedroom for an instant and an instant only he stood horror struck in the presence of the poisoned woman they fell action of the strict nine wrung every muscle in her with the torture of convulsion her hands were fast clenched her head was bent back her body rigid as a bar of iron was arched upwards from the bed on the two extremities of the head and the heels the staring eyes the dusky face the twisted lips the clenched teeth were frightful to see he faced it after the one instant of hesitation he faced it before she could cry out again his hands were on her the whole exertion of his strength was barely enough to keep the frenzied throbs of the convulsion as it reached its climax from throwing her off the bed through the worst of it he was still equal to the trust that had been placed in him still faithful to the work of mercy little by little he felt the lessening resistance of the rigid body as the paroxysm began to subside he saw the ghastly stare die out of her eyes and the twisted lips relaxed from their dreadful grin the tortured body sank and rested the perspiration broke out on her face her languid hands fell gently over on the bed for a while the heavy eyelids closed then opened again feebly she looked at him do you know me he asked bending over her and she answered in a faint whisper amelius he knelt down by her and kissed her hand can you listen if I tell you something she breathed heavily her bosom heaved under the suffocating oppression that weighed upon it as he took her in his arms to raise her in the bed Sally's voice reached him in low imploring tones from the next room oh let me come to you I'm so frightened here by myself he waited before he told her to come in looking for a moment at the face that was resting on his breast a gray shadow was stealing over it a cold and clammy moisture struck a chill through him as he put his hand on her forehead he turned towards the next room the girl had ventured as far as the door he beckoned to her she came intimately and stood by him and looked at her mother amelius signed to her to take his place put your arms around her he whispered oh Sally tell her who you are in a kiss the girl's tears fell fast as she pressed her lips on her mother's cheek the dying woman looked at her with a glance of helpless inquiry then looked at amelius the doubt in her eyes was too dreadful to be endured arranging the pillows so that she could keep her raised position in the bed he signed to Sally to approach him and removed the slipper from her left foot as he took it off he looked again at the bed looked and shuttered in a moment more it might be too late with his knife he ripped up the stocking and lifting her on the bed her bare foot on her mother's lap your child your child he cried I found your own darling for God's sake rouse yourself look she heard him she lifted her feebly declining head she looked she knew for one awful moment the sinking vital forces rallied and hurled back the hold of death her eyes shown radiant with the divine light of maternal love an exulting cry of rapture burst from her slowly very slowly she bent forward until her face rested on her daughter's foot with a faint sigh of ecstasy she kissed it the moment passed and the bent head was raised no more the last beat of the heart was a beat of joy