 All right everybody welcome day four of the 21 convention London the men's conference of the century. Yes absolutely coming to the stage next this will be his fourth time speaking at the 21 convention great guy fun man he's gonna be speaking on the sexual life please welcome Steve El Topo Maeda. What's up what's up? All right so um once again speaking at 21 convention and I want to say that anytime I speak and I speak a lot not necessarily in terms of these settings but uh gosh like once a week it's always an honor and a privilege to speak and hopefully by the end of the speech you will realize what I mean by that. First off what I want to get into is this and I like to write things down if I misspell anything let me know because I don't want to look like too much of an idiot but I want to talk about the sexual life. All right and what this means and first we're going to get to this and a bunch of theoretical stuff and all that fun philosophical conceptual you know all that interesting stuff and then we're going to move to some material that will allow you to apply it and I think that oftentimes when you hear people talk about anything which comes to personal change there's usually an imbalance an imbalance of theory and concepts and all that sort of stuff and then application if you have too much application you don't get to the theory it doesn't quite work that well and if you have too much uh too much uh you know conceptual stuff philosophy and no theory it doesn't quite catalyze so the best way to learn is to mix them both. All right so really simply here what I want to talk about are these three things sex seduction and sexuality now one thing that I like when I'm speaking and Peter will truly appreciate this is anytime you guys want to interact just raise your hand if you know it's from a long long time ago uh when I first started speaking in fact like when I would first give like what they called layer talks nobody else was doing them and uh it it was pretty interesting it was like myself and Brad P and everybody else kind of did something else now everybody does them but one of the rules was if you have something to say just raise your hand I'll call on you you know whenever uh whenever it's convenient or whenever I'm done with whatever thought but when we get to this one of the problems that happens when we're uh working working seduction is when we're working seduction when we're working anything like pickup or or whatever it is we get a misconception of these deals and when it comes down to it a lot of the stuff that I hear from people is more about attention it's more about getting somebody's attention putting stuff on uh creating a show stepping outside of yourself and from my kind of school of thought and where I've always kind of taken things is you can absolutely be yourself and do this however in being yourself you're going to have to follow some principles and when it comes down to it when it comes down to these three things those to me are the most important of of all of this you know and when you walk away from the convention you start meeting and connecting interact with people uh whether it's with a girlfriend or whether it's whatever kind of sexual life you want uh this is going to be the most important stuff to think about and right here with kind of like my concepts and philosophies towards stuff this is sex and sex is simply inaction sex is an action we all know what it is um you know you hook up with somebody and uh you connect in all sorts of different ways and it can happen in all sorts of different ways but it's simply in action and many times what happens is is we start to define our self our person our entire being which would end up being the sexuality purely by our actions towards sex now seduction the next one here is a process okay so that's everything before that's everything during that's everything after and in fact it's you don't even need to be having sex to allow seduction to happen and uh that's that's something that confuses people all the time uh and sexuality is the result of all this so really simply an action the process and the result now what's important about this is last last year before the sweden convention i was in austin where my buddy jason savage lives and he came to the convention he did a preview speech of what the convention would be and i videotaped a bunch of it and videotaped the stuff afterwards and i was like man this is and i've seen jason speak many times in fact the the story goes uh he came and saw me speak years and years and years and years and go in austin and uh he came up to me afterwards and he was like you know talking about himself talking about himself and what was going on and then he said uh he then he said his name jason savage i'm oh man i've heard about you you slept with my buddy davis house and blah blah blah blah and he remembered this is this great thing and then about a year after that he called me up and the guy's kind of a reclusive dude he called me up and he said man you know i've gone through whatever shit and everybody goes through highs and lows and he was saying i've gone through a lot of shit and everything in the community is just like totally fucked up i want to i want to be doing the stuff that you're doing the stuff that you're saying that i'm reading about is is what i want to be doing so when can we talk and basically what happened was i came down to austin saw him speak and he gave a speech about like arousal and in desire and all this crazy shit and i'm like dude what the fuck man like you're the guy that i want to listen to and every time that guy spoke it was like i tried to soak in as much as possible and uh he came back from his europe trip in october and i picked him up from the airport and he was staying at my uh i took him up with the place stay with uh my buddy's house and he said man uh look number one thing is i agree with you now man the community is like fucking up people's lives which he never really said before and uh and i asked him why and he's like because it has nothing to do with sexuality it has nothing to do with what people are doing and how they're presenting themselves how they're putting themselves out there in the world how they're asserting themselves how they're connecting how they're how they're loving women and appreciating women and he brought up a few things he said uh he said man you know as simple as this like guys stay in the community and they stay in that kind of like pick up mindset and they they ultimately will go nowhere they'll get good at getting attention they'll get good at making friends they'll get good at not being themselves all right and ultimately they'll end up being angry and worse off and all this other crazy stuff and he said if somebody is not being sexual right if they're not asserting their sexuality then they need to get sexual as quick as possible so what does that mean you know and by then i was already kind of like messing with the concepts of the sexual life you know what is that what is it to live a sexual life what is it to have sex what is it to to uh you know fall in love what is it to get those snl's what is it to have those experiences and man i thought about it so much so much and i i ended up talking to more women than men about this in fact i've brought this up before but initially in the community what i learned was uh you know from from other instructors it was like i i went to a boot camp it was amazing one of the best guys in the world captain jack was at the boot camp he did the best out of all the instructors and he was like totally mellow and you know not all flashy did nothing about attention any of that shit and then he he happened to live in dallas and i lived in dallas as well fort worth and um you know i got good hung out with him and i listened to everything he would say you know he'd tell me to approach i'd approach and you know he'd tell me to do do certain things but mainly i watched him and then over time you know i i started to work with with clients i'd work with those clients and uh i'd see them do things you know i'd see them seduce in different ways get more sexually direct i'd see them do different things which were outside of the box of the community norm and i started to learn more from them and over time like i said i started to interact with women and and i learned by far the most from them and that's what this is all about is getting better talking to women and learning to appreciate them rather than you know waging a war against them and i in last year's speech i was kind of like the main point was that a pickup guy ends up hating women and ultimately you know kind of like downplays himself always doing kind of routines or stepping outside of himself a little bit too much and a seducer can do literally the same things all the same shit and you're seeing this more and more at the speakers coming to the 21 convention but they'll love women is their end result and that is a huge huge difference