 Chapter 46 and 47 of Don Quixote Vol. 2 This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Don Quixote Vol. 2 by Miguel de Cervantes Savedra, translated by John Ormsby. Chapter 46 and 47 Chapter 46 of the terrible bell and cat fright that Don Quixote got in the course of the enamored Altissidora's wooing. We left Don Quixote wrapped up in the reflections which the music of the enamored maid Altissidora had given rise to. He went to bed with them, and just like the fleas they would not let him sleep or get a moment's rest, and the broken stitches of his stockings helped them. But as time is fleeting and no obstacle can stay his course, he came riding on the hours, and morning very soon arrived. Seeing which Don Quixote quitted the soft down, and no wise slothful, dressed himself in his chamois suit, and put on his traveling boots to hide the disaster to his stockings. He threw over him his scarlet mantle, put on his head a montera of green velvet trimmed with silver edging, flung across his shoulder the baldrick with his good trenchant sword, took up a large rosary that he always carried with him, and with great solemnity and precision of gait proceeded to the anti-chamber where the Duke and Duchess were already dressed and waiting for him. But as he passed through a gallery, Altissidora and the other damsel, her friend, were lying in wait for him, and the instant Altissidora saw him she pretended to faint, while her friend caught her in her lap and began hastily unlacing the bosom of her dress. Don Quixote observed it, and approaching them said, I know very well what this seizure arises from. I know not from what, replied the friend, for Altissidora is the healthiest damsel in all this house, and I have never heard her complain all the time I have known her, a plague on all the knights errant in the world if they be all ungrateful. Go away, senior Don Quixote, for this poor child will not come to herself again so long as you are here. To which Don Quixote returned, do me the favour, senora, to let a lute be placed in my chamber to-night, and I will comfort this poor maiden to the best of my power, for in the early stages of love a prompt disillusion is an approved remedy. And with this he retired, so as not to be remarked by any who might see him there. He had scarcely withdrawn when Altissidora, recovering from her swoon, said to her companion, the lute must be left for no doubt Don Quixote intends to give us some music, and being his it will not be bad. They went at once to inform the duchess of what was going on, and of the lute Don Quixote asked for, and she, delighted beyond measure, plotted with the duke and her two damsels to play him a trick that should be amusing but harmless. And in high glee they waited for night, which came quickly as the day had come, and as for the day the duke and duchess spent it in charming conversation with Don Quixote. When eleven o'clock came Don Quixote found a guitar in his chamber. He tried it, opened the window, and perceived that some persons were walking in the garden, and having passed his fingers over the frets of the guitar and tuned it as well as he could, he spat and cleared his chest, and then with a voice a little hoarse but full-toned, he sang the following ballad which he had himself that day composed. Many love the hearts of maidens doth unsettle and perplex, and the instrument he uses most of all is idleness. Sewing, stitching, any labor, having always worked to do, to the poison love instilleth, is the antidote most sure. And to proper-minded maidens, who desire the matron's name, modesties a marriage portion modesty their highest praise. Men of prudence and discretion, courtiers gay and galant knights, with the wanton damsel's dally but the modest take to wife. There are passions transient fleeting, loves in hostelries declared, sunrise loves with sunset ended, when the guest hath gone his way. Love that springs up swift and sudden, here to-day tomorrow flown, passes, leaves no trace behind it, leaves no image on the soul. Painting that is laid on painting maketh no display or show, for one beauty in possession there no other can take hold. Dulcinea del Taboso painted on my heart I wear. Never from its tablets never can her image be erased. The quality of all in lovers most esteemed is constancy. It is by this that love works wonders, this exalts them to the skies. Don Quixote had got so far with his song, to which the duke, the duchess, to Sidora, and nearly the whole household of the castle were listening, when all of a sudden from a gallery above that was exactly over his window they let down a cord with more than a hundred bells attached to it, and immediately after that discharged a great sack full of cats, which also had bells of smaller size tied to their tails. Such was the din of the bells and the squalling of the cats, that though the duke and duchess were the contrivers of the joke they were startled by it, while Don Quixote stood paralyzed with fear, and as luck would have it two or three of the cats made their way in through the grating of his chamber, and flying from one side to the other made it seem as if there were a legion of devils at large in it. They extinguished the candles that were burning in the room and rushed about seeking some way of escape. The cord with the large bells never ceased rising and falling, and most of the people of the castle not knowing what was really the matter were at their wit's end with astonishment. Don Quixote sprang to his feet and drawing his sword began making passes at the grating shouting out, Avant, Malignant Enchanters, avant ye witchcraft working rabble, I am Don Quixote of La Mancha against whom your evil machinations avail not nor have any power. And turning upon the cats that were running about the room he made several cuts at them. They dashed at the grating and escaped by it, save one that, finding itself hard-pressed by the slashes of Don Quixote's sword, flew at his face and held onto his nose, tooth, and nail, with the pain of which he began to shout his loudest. The Duke and Duchess hearing this and guessing what it was ran with all haste to his room, and as the poor gentleman was striving with all his might to detach the cat from his face, they opened the door with a master key and went in with lights and witnessed the unequal combat. The Duke ran forward to part the combatants, but Don Quixote cried out aloud, Let no one take him from me, leave me hand to hand with this demon, this wizard, this enchanter. I will teach him, I myself, who Don Quixote of La Mancha is. The cat, however, never minding these threats, snarled and held on, but at last the Duke pulled it off and flung it out of the window. Don Quixote was left with a face as full of holes as a sieve and a nose not in very good condition, and greatly vexed that they did not let him finish the battle he had been so stoutly fighting with that villain of an enchanter. They sent for some oil of John's wort and Altissadora herself, with her own fair hands, banished all the wounded parts, and as she did so she said to him in a low voice, All these mishaps have befallen thee, kind-hearted knight, for the sin of thy insensibility and obstinacy, and God grant thy squire Sancho may forget to whip himself, so that that dearly beloved Dulcinea of thine may never be released from her enchantment, that thou mayest never come to her bed, at least while I who adore thee am alive. To all this Don Quixote may no answer except to heave deep sighs, and then stretched himself on his bed, thanking the Duke and Duchess for their kindness, not because he stood in any fear of that bell-ringing rabble of enchanters in cat-shape, but because he recognized their good intentions in coming to his rescue. The Duke and Duchess left him to repose, and withdrew greatly grieved at the unfortunate result of the joke. They had never thought the adventure would have fallen so heavy on Don Quixote, or cost him so dear, for it cost him five days of confinement to his bed, during which he had another adventure, pleasanter than the late one, which his chronicler will not relate just now in order that he may turn his attention to Sancho Pansa, who was proceeding with great diligence and drullery in his government. Chapter 47 wherein is continued the account of how Sancho Pansa conducted himself in his government. The history says that from the justice court they carried Sancho to a sumptuous palace, wherein a spacious chamber there was a table laid out with royal magnificence. The clarions sounded as Sancho entered the room, and four pages came forward to present him with water for his hands, which Sancho received with great dignity. The music ceased, and Sancho seated himself at the head of the table, for there was only that seat placed and no more than one cover laid. A personage, who had appeared afterwards, was a physician, placed himself standing by his side with a whale-bone wand in his hand. They then lifted up a fine white cloth covering fruit and a great variety of dishes of different sorts, one who looked like a student, said grace, and a page put a laced bib on Sancho, while another who played the part of head carver placed a dish of fruit before him. But hardly had he tasted a morsel when the man with the wand touched the plate with it, and they took it away from before him with utmost celerity. The carver, however, brought him another dish, and Sancho proceeded to try it. But before he could get at it, not to say taste it, already the wand had touched it and a page had carried it off with the same promptitude as the fruit. Sancho seeing this was puzzled, and looking from one to another asked if this dinner was to be eaten after the fashion of a jugglery trick. To this he with the wand replied, It is not to be eaten, S. Gov. except as is usual and customary in other islands where there are governors. I, S. M., am a physician, and I am paid a salary in this island to serve its governors as such, and I have a much greater regard for their health than for my own, studying day and night and making myself acquainted with the governor's constitution in order to be able to cure him when he falls sick. The chief thing I have to do is to attend at his dinners and suppers and allow him to eat what appears to me to be fit for him and keep from him what I think will do him harm and be injurious to his stomach. And therefore I ordered that plate of fruit to be removed as being too moist, and that other dish I ordered to be removed as being too hot and containing many spices that stimulate thirst, for he who drinks much kills and consumes the radical moisture wherein life consists. Well then, said Sancho, that dish of roast partridges there that seems so savory will not do me any harm. To this the physician replied, Of those my lord the governor shall not eat so long as I live. Why so, said Sancho? Because, replied the doctor, our master Hippocrates, the pole-star and beacon of medicine, says in one of his aphorisms, Omnis satirati omala perdisis autum pessima, which means all repletion is bad, but that of partridge is the worst of all. In that case, said Sancho, let senior doctor see among the dishes that are on the table what will do me most good and least harm, and let me eat it without tapping it with his stick, for by the life of the governor and so may God suffer me to enjoy it, but I am dying of hunger, and in spite of the doctor and all he may say, to deny me food is the way to take my life instead of prolonging it. Your worship is right, senior governor, said the physician, and therefore your worship, I consider, should not eat of these stewed rabbits there, because it is a furry kind of food. If that veal were not roasted and served with pickles you might try it, but it is out of the question. A big dish that is smoking farther off, said Sancho, seems to me to be an olla podrida, and out of the diversity of things in such ollas I cannot fail to light upon something tasty and good for me. Absit, said the doctor, far from us be any such base thought. There is nothing in the world less nourishing than an olla podrida, to cannons or rectors of colleges or peasants' weddings with your ollas podridas, but let us have none of them on the tables of governors, where everything that is present should be delicate and refined. And the reason is that always, everywhere and by everybody, simple medicines are more esteemed than compound ones, for we cannot go wrong in those that are simple, while in the compound we may, by merely altering the quantity of the things composing them. But what I am of the opinion the governor should eat now, in order to preserve and fortify his health, is a hundred or so of wafer cakes and a few thin slices of conserve of quinces, which shall settle his stomach and help his digestion. Sancho, on hearing this, threw himself back in his chair and surveyed the doctor steadily, and in a solemn tone asked him what his name was and where he had studied. He replied, My name, senior governor, is doctor Pedro Recio de Agüero. I am a native of the place called Tirte Afuera, which lies between Caracuel and Almadovar del Campo, on the right hand side, and I have the degree of doctor from the University of Osuna. To which Sancho, glowing all over with rage, returned, then let doctor Pedro Recio de Malaguero, native of Tirte Afuera, a place that is on the right hand side, as we go from Caracuel to Almadovar del Campo, graduate of Osuna, get out of my presence at once, or I swear by the sun I'll take a cudgel, and by dint of blows beginning with him I'll not leave a doctor in the whole island, at least of those I know to be ignorant, for as to learned, wise, sensible physicians, them I will reverence and honor as divine persons. Once more I say let Pedro Recio get out of this, or I'll take this chair I am sitting on and break it over his head, and if they call me to account for it, I'll clear myself by saying I served God in killing a bad doctor, a general executioner, and now give me something to eat, or I'll take your government, for a trade that does not feed its master is not worth two beans. The doctor was dismayed when he saw the governor in such a passion, and he would have made a tir tiafuera out of the room, but at the same instant a post horn sounded on the street, and the carver putting his head out of the window turned round and said, It's a courier from my lord the dupe, no doubt some dispatch of importance. The courier came in all sweating and flurried, and taking a paper from his bosom placed it in the governor's hands. Sancho handed it to the major domo and made him read the superscription, which ran thus. To don Sancho Pansa, governor to the island of Barataria, into his own hands are those of his secretary. Sancho, when he heard this, said, Which of you is my secretary? I am Sanyarus, said one of those present, for I can read and write, and am a Biscayon. With that addition, said Sancho, you might be secretary to the emperor himself. Open this paper and see what it says. The newborn secretary obeyed, and having read the contents, said the matter was one to be discussed in private. Sancho ordered the chamber to be cleared, the major domo and the carver only remaining, so the doctor and the others withdrew, and then the secretary read the letter which was as follows. It has come to my knowledge, Sanyar-don Sancho Pansa, that certain enemies of mine and of the island are about to make a furious attack upon it some night. I know not when. It behooves you to be on the alert and keep watch, that they surprise you not. I also know by trustworthy spies that four persons have entered the town in disguise in order to take your life, because they stand in dread of your great capacity. Keep your eyes open and take heed who approaches you to address you, indeed nothing that is presented to you. I will take care to send you aid if you find yourself in difficulty, but in all things you will act as may be expected of your judgment. From this place the 16th of August at four in the morning, your friend the duke. Sancho was astonished, and those who stood by made believed to be so too, and turning to the major domo he said to him, What we have got to do first, and it must be done at once, is to put Dr. Racio in the lock-up, for if anyone wants to kill me it is he, and by a slow death and the worst of all which is hunger. Likewise, said the carver, it is my opinion your worship should not eat anything that is on this table, for the whole was a present from some nuns, and as they say, behind the cross there is the devil. I don't deny it, said Sancho, so for the present give me a piece of bread and four pounds or so of grapes, no poison can come in them, for the fact is I can't go on without eating, and if we are to be prepared for these battles that are threatening us we must be well provisioned, for it is the tripes that carry the heart and not the heart the tripes. And you, secretary, answer my lord the duke and tell him that all his commands shall be obeyed to the letter, as he directs, and say from me to my lady the duchess that I kiss her hands, and that I beg of her not to forget to send my letter and bundle to my wife to raise a panza by a messenger, and I will take it as a great favor and will not fail to serve her in all that may lie within my power, and as you are about it you may enclose a kiss of the hand to my master Don Quixote, that he may see I am grateful bread, and as a good secretary and a good besquean you may add whatever you like and whatever will come in best. And now take away this cloth and give me something to eat, and I'll be ready to meet all the spies and assassins and enchanters that may come against me or my island. At this instant a page entered saying, here is a farmer on business who wants to speak to your lordship on a matter of great importance, she says. It's very odd, said Sancho, the ways of these men on business. Is it possible they can be such fools as not to see that an hour like this is no hour for coming on business? We who govern and we who are judges, are we not men of flesh and blood, and are we not to be allowed the time required for taking rest unless they'd have us made of marble? By God and on my conscience, if the government remains in my hands, which I have a notion it won't, I'll bring more than one man on business to order. However, tell this good man to come in, but take care first of all that he is not some spy or one of my assassins. No, my lord, said the page, for he looks like a simple fellow, and either I know very little or he is as good as good bread. There is nothing to be afraid of, said the major domo, for we are all here. Would it be possible, Carver, said Sancho, now that Dr. Pedro Recio is not here, to let me eat something solid and substantial, if it were even a piece of bread and an onion? Tonight at supper, said the Carver, the shortcomings of the dinner shall be made good, and your lordship shall be fully contented. God grant it, said Sancho. The farmer now came in, a well-favored man that one might see a thousand leagues off was an honest fellow and a good soul. The first thing he said was, which is the Lord Governor here? Which should it be, said the Secretary, but he who is seated in the chair? Then I humble myself before him, said the farmer, and going on his knees he asked for his hand to kiss it. Sancho refused it, and made him stand up and say what he wanted. The farmer obeyed and then said, I am a farmer, Señor, a native of Migaltura, a village two leagues from Ciudad Real. Another tirte afuera, said Sancho. Say on, brother, I know Migaltura very well, I can tell you, for it's not very far from my own town. The case is this, Señor, continued the farmer, that by God's mercy I am married with the leave and license of the Holy Roman Catholic Church. I have two sons, students, and the younger is studying to become bachelor, and the elder to become licentiate. I am a widower, for my wife died, or more properly speaking, a bad doctor killed her on my hands, giving her a purge when she was with child, and if it had pleased God that the child had been born and was a boy, I would have put him to study for doctor, that he might not envy his brothers the bachelor and the licentiate. So that if your wife had not died, or had not been killed, you would not now be a widower, said Sancho. No, Señor, certainly not, said the farmer. We've got that much settled, said Sancho. Get on, brother, for it's more bedtime than business time. Well then, said the farmer, this son of mine who is going to be a bachelor, fell in love in the said town with a damsel called Clara Perlerina, daughter of Andres Perlerino, a very rich farmer. And this name of Perlerines does not come to them by ancestry or descent, but because all the family are paralytics, and for a better name they call them Perlerines. Though to tell the truth, the damsel is as fair as an oriental pearl, and like a flower of the field, if you look at her on the right side. On the left, not so much, for on that side she wants an eye that she lost by smallpox. And though her face is thickly and deeply pitted, those who love her say that they are not pits that are there, but the graves where the hearts of her lovers are buried. She is so cleanly that not to soil her face she carries her nose turned up, as they say, so that one would fancy it was running away from her mouth. And with all this she looks extremely well, for she has a wide mouth, and but for wanting ten or a dozen teeth and grinders she might compare and compete with the comeliest. Of her lips I say nothing, for they are so fine and thin that, if lips might be reeled, one might make a skein of them. But being of a different color from ordinary lips they are wonderful, for they are mottled, blue, green, and purple. Let my lord the governor pardon me for painting so minutely the charms of her, who some time or other will be my daughter, for I love her and I don't find her amiss. Paint what you will, said Sancho, I enjoy your painting, and if I had dined there would be no dessert more to my taste than your portrait. That I have still to furnish, said the farmer, but a time will come when we may be able if we are not now, and I can tell you, senor, if I could paint her gracefulness and her tall figure it would astonish you. But that is impossible since she has bent double with her knees up to her mouth. But for all that it is easy to see that if she could stand up she'd knock her head against the ceiling, and she would have given her hand to my bachelor ere this, only that she can't stretch it out for its contracted, but still one can see its elegance and fine make by its long furrowed nails. That will do, brother, said Sancho. Consider you have painted her from head to foot. What is it you want now? Come to the point without all this beating about the bush and all these scraps and additions. I want your worship, senor, said the farmer, to do me the favor of giving me a letter of recommendation to the girl's father, begging him to be so good as to let this marriage take place, as we are not ill-matched either in the gifts of fortune or of nature. For to tell the truth, senor governor, my son is possessed of a devil, and there is not a day but the evil spirits torment him three or four times. And from having once fallen into the fire he has his face puckered up like a piece of parchment, and his eyes watery and always running. But he has the disposition of an angel, and if it was not for belaboring and pummeling himself he'd be a saint. Is there anything else you want, good man? said Sancho. There's one other thing I'd like, said the farmer, but I'm afraid to mention it. However, out it must, for after all I can't let it be rotting in my breast come what may. I mean, senor, that I'd like your worship to give me three hundred or six hundred dukets as a help to my bachelor's portion to help him in setting up house, for they must in short live by themselves without being subject to the interferences of their fathers-in-law. Just see if there's anything else you'd like, said Sancho, and don't hold back for mentioning it out of bashfulness or modesty. No, indeed, there is not, said the farmer. The moment he said this the governor started to his feet and seizing the chair he had been sitting on exclaimed, by all that's good you ill-bred, boorish, don't bumpkin. If you don't get out of this at once and hide yourself from my sight, I'll lay your head open with this chair. You horse and rascal, you devil's own painter, and is it at this hour you come to ask me for six hundred dukets? How should I have them, you stinking brute, and why should I give them to you if I had them, you knave and blockhead? What have I to do with migaltura or the whole family of the Perlerans? Get out, I say, or by the life of my lord the duke I'll do as I said. You're not from migaltura, but some knave sent here from hell to tempt me. Why, you villain, I have not yet had the government half a day, and you want me to have six hundred dukets already. The carver made signs to the farmer to leave the room, which he did with his head down, and to all appearance in terror lest the governor should carry his threats into effect, for the robe knew very well how to play his part. But let us leave Sancho in his wrath and peace be with them all, and let us return to Don Quixote, whom we left with a space bandaged and doctored after the cat wounds, of which he was not cured for eight days, and on one of these there befell him what Side Amete promises to relate with that exactitude and truth, with which he is wants to set forth everything connected with this great history, however minute it may be. End of CHAPTER XLVIII of what befell Don Quixote with Dona Rodriguez, the Duchess's duena, together with other recurrences worthy of record and eternal remembrance. Exceedingly moody and dejected was the sorely wounded Don Quixote, with his face bandaged and marked, not by the hand of God, but by the claws of a cat, mishap since a dental-tonight errantry. Six days he remained without appearing in public, and one night as he lay awake, thinking of his misfortunes and of Altisadora's pursuit of him, he perceived that someone was opening the door of his room with the key, and he had once made up his mind that the enamored damsel was coming to make an assault upon his chastity and put him in danger of failing in the fidelity he owed to his Lady Dulcinea del Tabasso. No, said he, firmly persuaded of the truth of his idea, and he said it loud enough to be heard. The greatest beauty upon earth shall not avail to make me renounce my adoration of her, whom I bear stamped and graved in the core of my heart and the secret depths of my bowels. Be thou, lady mine, transformed into a clumsy country wench, or into a nymph of golden tagus weaving a web of silk and gold. Let Merlin or Montesinos hold the captive where they will. Wherever thou art, thou art mine, and wherever I am must be thine. The very instant he had uttered these words, the door opened, he stood up on the bed, wrapped from head to foot in a yellow satin coverlet with a cap on his head, and his face and his mustaches tied up, his face, because of the scratches, and his mustaches to keep them from drooping and falling down. In which trim he looked the most extraordinary scarecrow that could be conceived. He kept his eyes fixed on the door, and just as he was expecting to see the love-spittin' and unhappy Altissa Dora make a appearance, he saw, coming in, a most venerable duena, in a long white-boarded veil that covered and enveloped her from head to foot. Between the fingers of her left hand she held a short, lighted candle, while with her right she shaded it to keep the light from her eyes, which were covered by spectacles of great size. She advanced with noiseless steps, treading very softly. Don Cajote kept an eye upon her from his watchtower, and observing her costume and noting her silence, he concluded that it must be some witch or sorceress that was coming in such a guy as to work him some mischief, and he began crossing himself at a great rate. The specter still advanced, and on reaching the middle of the room looked up, and saw the energy with which Don Cajote was crossing himself, and if he was scared by seeing such a figure as hers, she was terrified at the sight of his. For the moment she saw his tall yellow form with the coverlet and the bandages that disfigured him, she gave a loud scream, and exclaiming, Jesus, what's this I see? Let fall the candle in her fright, and then finding herself in the dark, turned about to make off, but stumbling on her skirts and her consternation, she measured her length with a mighty fall. Don Cajote and his trepidation began saying, I conjure thee, phantom, or whatever thou art. Tell me what thou art and what thou wouldst with me. If thou art a swollen torment, say so, and all that my powers can do, I will do for thee. For I am a Catholic Christian and love to do good to all the world, and to this end I have embraced the order of night air entry to which I belong, the province of which extends to doing good, even to souls in purgatory. The unfortunate duena hearing herself thus conjured, by her own fear, guessed Don Cajote's, and in a low plain to voice answered, Senor Don Cajote, if so be you are indeed Don Cajote. I am no phantom respect to her soul in purgatory, as you seem to think, but Donna Rodriguez, duena of honor to my Lady the Duchess, and I come to you with one of those grievances your worship is want to redress. Tell me, Senor Donna Rodriguez, said Don Cajote. Do you perchance come to transact any go between business? Because I must tell you I'm not available for anybody's purpose thanks to the peerless beauty of my Lady Delsenia del Tabozo. In short, Senor Donna Rodriguez, if you will leave out and put aside all love messages, you may go and light your candle and come back, and we will discuss all the commands you have for me and whatever you wish, saving only, as I said, all seductive communications. I carry nobody's messages, Senor, said Duena. Little you know me. Nay, I'm not far enough advanced in years to take to any such childish tricks. God be praised, I have a soul in my body still, and all my teeth and grinders in my mouth, except one or two that the colds so common in this arrogant country have robbed me of. But wait a little, while I go and light my candle, and I will return immediately and lay my sorrows before you as before one who relieves those of all the world. Without staying for an answer, she quitted the room and left Don Quixote tranquilly meditating while he waited for her. A thousand thoughts at once suggested themselves to him on the subject of this new adventure, and it struck him as being ill-done and worse advised in him to expose himself to the danger of breaking his plighted faith to his Lady, and said he to himself. Who knows but that the devil, being wily and cunning, may be trying now to entrap me with the duena, having filled with empresses, queens, duchesses, marcianeses, and countesses. Many a time have I heard it said by many a man of sense that he will sooner offer you a flat-nosed wench than a Roman-nosed one. And who knows but this privacy, this opportunity, this silence may awaken my sleeping desires, and lead me in these my latter years to fall where I have never tripped, in cases of this sort it is better to flee than to await the battle. But I must be out of my senses to think in utter such nonsense. For it is impossible that a long, white-hooded spectacle duena could stir up or excite a wanton thought in the most graceless bosom in the world. Is there a duena on earth at his fair flesh? Is there a duena in the world that escapes being ill-tempered, wrinkled, and brutish? Avant, then, ye duena crew, undelightful to all mankind. Oh, but the lady did well who they say had at the end of her reception room a couple of figures of duenas with spectacles and lace cushions, as if at work. And those statues serve quite well as to give an error for priority to the room as if they had been real duenas. So, saying, he leaped off the bed, intending to close the door, and not allow Senora Rodriguez to enter. But as he went to shut it, Senora Rodriguez returned with a wax candle lighted, and having a closer view of Don Quixote with the coverlet around him, and his bandages and nightgap, she was alarmed afresh and retreating a couple of paces exclaimed, Am I safe, sir night? For I don't look upon it as a sign of very great virtue that your worship should have gone up out of bed. I may well ask the same, Senora, said Don Quixote. And I do ask whether I shall be safe from being assailed and forced. Of whom and against whom do you demand that security, sir night? said the duena. Of you and against you, I ask it, said Don Quixote. For I am not marble, nor are you brass, nor is it now ten o'clock in the morning. But midnight, or a trifle past it, I fancy, we are in a room more secluded and retired than the cave could have been where the treacherous and darling anus enjoy the soft-hearted dido. Forgive me your hands, Senora, I require no better protection than my own continents and my own sense of propriety, as well as that which is inspired by that venerable headdress. And so, saying he kissed her right hand, it took it in his own, she yielding it to him with equal ceremoniousness. Here, Sid Hammett inserts a parenthesis in which he says that to have seen the pair marching from the door to the bed linked hand in hand in this way, he would have given the best of the two tunics he had. Don Quixote finally got into bed and Donna Rodriguez took her seat on a chair at some little distance from his couch, without taking off her spectacles or putting aside the candle. Don Quixote wrapped the bed closed around him and covered himself up completely, leaving nothing but his face visible, and as soon as they had both regained their composure, he broke silent, saying, Now, Senora, Donna, Rodriguez, you may unbuzz him yourself and out with everything you have in your sorrowful heart and afflicted bowels. And by me you shall be listened to with chaste ears and aided by compassionate exertions. I believe it replied to Donna from your worship's gentle and winning presence, only such a Christian answer could be expected. The fact is, then, Senora Don Quixote, that though you see me seated in this chair, here in the middle of the kingdom of Aragon, and in the attire of a despised outcast duena, I am from the Asturias of Oviedo, and of a family with whom many of the best of the provinces are connected by blood. But my untoward fate and the improbability of my parents who, I know not how, run seasonably reduced to poverty, brought me to the court of Madrid, where, as a provision and to avoid greater misfortunes, my parents placed me as a seamstress in the service of a lady of quality, and I would have you know that for hemming and sewing I have never been surpassed by any in all my life. My parents left me in service and returned to their own country, and a few years later went, no doubt, to heaven, for they were excellent, good Catholic Christians. I was left an orphan with nothing but the miserable wages and trifling presidents that are given to servants of my sort and palaces. But about this time, without any encouragement on my part, one of the esquires of the household fell in love with me, a man somewhat advanced in years, full bearded and personable, and above all as good a gentleman as the king himself. For he came of a mountain stock. We did not carry on our love with such secrecy, but that they came to the knowledge of my lady, and she, not to have any fuss about it, had us married with a full sanction of the holy mother Roman Catholic Church, of which marriage at daughter was born, to put an end to my good fortune, if I had any. Not that I died in childbirth, for I passed through it safely and in due season, but because, shortly afterwards, my husband died of a certain shock he received, and had I time to tell you of it, I know your worship would be surprised. And here she began to weep bitterly and said, Pardon me, Senor Don Quixote. If I am unable to control myself, for every time I think of my unfortunate husband, my eyes fill up with tears. God bless me, with what an air of dignity he used to carry my lady behind him on a stout mule as black as jet. For in those days they did not use coaches or chairs, as they say they do now. And ladies rode behind their squires, this much at least I cannot help telling you that you may observe the good breeding and fortillousness of my worthy husband. As he was turning into the cowl to Santiago in Madrid, which is rather narrow, one of the alcalds of the court, with two algacils before him was coming out of it, and as soon as my good squire saw him, he wheeled his mule about and made as if he would turn in accompanying him. My lady, who was riding behind him, said to him in a low voice, What are you about, you sneak. Don't you see that I am here? The alcalde, like a plight man, pulled up his horse and said to him, Proceed, senor, for it is I rather who ought to accompany my lady Dona Casilita, for that was my mistress's name. Still, my husband, cap in hand, persisted in trying to accompany the alcalde, and seeing this my lady, filled with rage and vexation, pulled out a big pin, or I rather think, a bodkin, out of her needle case, and drove it into his back with such force that my husband gave a loud yell, and riding fell to the ground with his lady, her two lackeys randomizer up, and the alcalde and the alga-cils did the same, the guadala harrigate was all in commotion. I mean, the eylers congregated there. My mistress came back on foot, and my husband hurried away to a barber shop, protesting that he was run right through to the guts. The courtesy of my husband was noised abroad, to such an extent, that the boys gave him no peace in the street. And on this account, and because he was so much short-sighted, my lady dismissed him, and it was chagrin at this point I convinced beyond a doubt that brought on his death. I was left to help this widow, the daughter, in my hands growing up in beauty, like the sea foam, at length, however, as I had the character of being an excellent needlewoman, my lady, the duchess, then lately married to my lord the duke, offered to take me with her to this kingdom Aragon, and my daughter also, and here as time went by, my daughter grew up and with her all the graces in the world. She sings like a lark, danced as quick as thought, foots it like a gypsy, reads and writes like a schoolmaster, and does sums like a miser, of her neatness, I say nothing, for the running water is not pure, and her age is now, if my memory serves me, sixteen years, five months and three days, one more or less. To come to the point, the son of a very rich farmer, living in a village of my lord the duke's not very far from here, fell in love with this girl of mine, and in short, how I know not, they came together, and uttered the promise of marrying her, he made a fool of my daughter, and will not keep his word. And though my lord the duke is aware of it, for I have complained to him, not once, but many and many a time, and treated him to order that farmer to marry my daughter. He turns a deaf ear, and will scarcely listen to me, the reason being that his deceiver's father is so rich, and lends him money, and is constantly going security for his debts. He does not like to offend or annoy him in any way. Now, senor, I want your worship to take it upon yourself to redress this wrong, either by entreaty or by arms, for by what all the world says you came into it to redress grievances and right wrongs and help the unfortunate. Let your worship put before you the unprotected condition of my daughter, her youth, and all the perfections I have set she possesses. And before God, on my conscience, out of all the damsels my lady has, there is not one that comes up to the soul of her shoe, and the one they call Altissadora, and look upon as the boldest and gayest of them. But in comparison with my daughter does not come within two leagues of her. For I would have you know, senor, all is not gold that glitters, and that same little Altissadora has more forwardness than good looks, more impudence than modesty, besides being not very sound, for she has such a disagreeable breath that one cannot bear to be near her for a moment, and even my lady the Duchess, but I'll hold my tongue, for they say that walls have yours. For heaven's sake, Donna Rodriguez, what ills my lady the Duchess? Asked Don Cajote. Adjured in that way, replied the donor, I cannot help answering the question in telling the whole truth. Senor Don Cajote, have you observed the comeliness of my lady the Duchess, that smooth complexion of hers like a burnish polished sword, those two cheeks of milk and carmine, that gay lively step with which she treads or rather seems to spur in the earth, so that one would fancy she went radiating hell for wherever she passed, well then let me tell you she may thank first of all God for this and next, two issues that she has, one in each leg by which all the evil humors of which the doctor says she is full, are discharged. Blessed Virgin, exclaimed Don Cajote, and is it possible that my lady the Duchess has drains of that sort? I would not have believed it if the barefoot friars had told it to me, but as the lady Donna Rodriguez says so, it must be so, but surely such issues and in such places do not discharge humors, but liquid amber. Barely, I do believe now that this practice of opening issues is a very important matter for the health. Don Cajote had hardly said this when the chamber door flew open with a loud bang and with a start the noise gave her Donna Rodriguez let the candle fall from her hand and the room was left as dark as a wolf's mouth as the saying is. Suddenly the poor Duana felt too hand Caesar by the throat, so tightly that she could not croak while someone else without uttering a word very briskly hoisted up her petticoats and with what seemed to be a slipper began to lay on so hardly that anyone would have felt pity for her. But although Don Cajote felt it he never stirred from his bed but lay quiet and silent. Nay, apprehensive that his turn for a drubbing might be coming. Nor was the apprehension an idle one one for leaving the Duana who did not dare to cry out well basted the silent executioners fell upon Don Cajote and stripping him of the sheet and the coverlet they pinched him so fast and so hard that he was driven to defend himself with his fists and all this in marvelous silence. The battle lasted nearly half an hour and then the phantoms fled. Donna Rodriguez gathered up her skirts and bemoaning her feet went out without saying a word to Don Cajote and he sorely pinched puzzled and ejected remained alone and there we will leave him wondering who could have been the perverse enchanter who had reduced him to such a state but that shall be told in due season for Sancho claims her attention and the methodical arrangement of the story demands it. End of Chapter 48 Recording by Arnold Semester Toronto, Ontario Chapter 48 of Don Cajote Volume 2 This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Don Cajote Volume 2 by Miguel de Cervantes Savedra translated by John Ormsby Chapter 48 Of what befell Don Cajote with Donia Rodriguez the Duchess's duena together with other occurrences worthy of record and eternal remembrance Exceedingly moody and ejected was the sorely wounded Don Cajote with his face bandaged and marked not by the hand of God but by the claws of a cat mishaps incidental to night air and tree Six days he remained without appearing in public and one night as he lay awake thinking of his misfortunes and of Altisadora's pursuit of him he perceived that someone was opening the door of his room with a key and he at once made up his mind that the enamored damsel was coming to make an assault upon his chastity and put him in danger of failing in the fidelity he owed to his Lady Dulcinea Delta Boso No, said he, firmly persuaded of the truth of his idea and he said it loud enough to be heard The greatest beauty upon earth shall not avail to make me renounce my adoration of her whom I bear stamped and engraved in the core of my heart and the secret depths of my bowels Be thou, Lady Mine transformed into a clumsy country wench or into a nymph of golden tagus weaving a web of silk in gold let Merlin or Montesinos hold the captive where they will Where ere thou art thou art mine and where ere I am must be thine The very instant he had uttered these words the door opened he stood up on the bed wrapped from head to foot in a yellow satin coverlet with a cap on his head and his face and his mustaches tied up his face because of the scratches and his mustaches to keep them from drooping and falling down in which trim he looked the most extraordinary scarecrow that could be conceived He kept his eyes fixed on the door and just as he was expecting to see the love smitten and unhappy Altissadora make her appearance he saw coming in a most venerable duena in a long white bordered veil that covered and enveloped her from head to foot Between the fingers of her left hand she held a short lighted candle while with her right she shaded it to keep the light from her eyes which were covered by spectacles of great size and she advanced with noiseless steps treading very softly Don Quixote kept an eye upon her from his watch tower and observing her costume and noting her silence he concluded that it must be some witch or sorceress that was coming in such a guise to work him some mischief and he began crossing himself at a great rate The specter still advanced and on reaching the middle of the room looked up and saw the energy with which Don Quixote was crossing himself and if he was scared by seeing such a figure as hers she was terrified at the sight of his for the moment she saw his tall yellow form with the coverlet and the bandages that disfigured him she gave a loud scream and exclaiming Jesus! What's this I see? Let fall the candle in her fright and then finding herself in the dark turned about to make off but stumbling on her skirts in her consternation she measured her length with a mighty fall Don Quixote in his trepidation began saying I conjure thee phantom or whatever thou art tell me what thou art and what thou wouldst with me if thou art a soul in torment say so and all that my powers can do I will do for thee for I am a Catholic Christian and love to do good to all the world and to this end I have embraced the order of night errantry to which I belong the province of which extends to doing good even to souls in purgatory The unfortunate Dwayna hearing herself thus conjured by her own fear guessed Don Quixote's and in a low plaintive voice answered Senor Don Quixote if so be you are indeed Don Quixote I am no phantom or specter or soul in purgatory as you seem to think but Donia Rodriguez Dwayna of honor to my Lady the Duchess and I come to you with one of those grievances your worship is want to redress Tell me Senora Donia Rodriguez said Don Quixote Do you perchance come to transact any go-between business? Because I must tell you I am not available for anybody's purpose thanks to the peerless beauty of my Lady Dulcinea Delta Boso In short, Senora Donia Rodriguez if you will leave out and put aside all love messages you may go and light your candle and come back and we will discuss all the commands you have for me and whatever you wish saving only as I said all seductive communications I carry nobody's messages, Senora said the Dwayna little you know me nay I'm not far enough advanced in years to take any such childish tricks God be praised I have a soul in my body still and all my teeth and grinders in my mouth except one or two that the colds so common in this Aragon country have robbed me of but wait a little while I go and light my candle and I will return immediately and lay my sorrows before you as before one who relieves those of all the world and without staying for an answer she quitted the room and left Don Quixote tranquilly meditating while he waited for her a thousand thoughts at once suggested themselves to him on the subject of this new adventure and it struck him as being ill done and worse advised in him to expose himself to the danger of breaking his plighted faith to his lady and said he to himself who knows but that the devil being wily and cunning may be trying now to entrap me with a duena having failed with empresses queens duchesses marchionesses and countesses many a time have I heard it said by many a man of sense that he will sooner offer you a flat nosed wench than a Roman nosed one and who knows but this privacy this opportunity this silence may awaken my sleeping desires and lead me in these my ladder years to fall where I have never tripped in cases of this sort it is better to flee than to await the battle but I must be out of my senses to think in utter such nonsense for it is impossible that a long white hooded spectacle duena could stir up or excite a wanton thought in the most graceless bosom in the world is there a duena on earth that has bare flesh is there a duena in the world that escapes being ill-tempered wrinkled and prudish Avante then ye duena crew undelightful to all mankind oh but that lady did well who they say had at the end of her reception room a couple of figures of duenas with spectacles and lace cushions as if at work and those statues served quite as well to give an air of propriety to the room as if they had been real duenas so saying he leaped off the bed intending to close the door and not allow senora rodriguez to enter but as he went to shut it senora rodriguez returned with a wax can delighted and having a closer view of don quixote with the coverlet round him and his bandages and nightcap she was alarmed afresh and retreating a couple of paces exclaimed am i safe sir knight for i don't look upon it as a sign of very great virtue that your worship should have got up out of bed i may well ask the same senora said don quixote and i do ask whether i shall be safe from being assailed and forced of whom and against whom do you demand that security sir knight said the duena of you and against you i ask it said don quixote for i am not marble nor are you brass nor is it now ten o'clock in the morning but midnight or a trifle past did i fancy and we are in a room more secluded and retired than the cave could have been where the treacherous and daring inaeus enjoyed the fair soft-hearted daito but give me your hand senora i require no better protection than my own continents and my own sense of propriety as well as that which is inspired by that venerable headdress and so saying he kissed her right hand and took it in his own she yielding it to him with equal ceremoniousness and here si de amete inserts a parenthesis in which he says that to have seen the pair marching from the door to the bed linked hand in hand in this way he would have given the best of the two tunics he had don kihote finally got into bed and donya radriga took her seat on a chair at some little distance from his couch without taking off her spectacles or putting aside the candle don kihote wrapped the bed clothes around him and covered himself up completely leaving nothing but his face visible and as soon as they had both regained their composure he broke silent saying now senor donya radriga you may unbuzum yourself and out with everything you have in your sorrowful heart and afflicted bowels and by me you shall be listened to with chaste ears and aided by compassionate exertions i believe it replied the duena from your worship's gentle and winning presence only such a christian answer could be expected the fact is then senor don kihote that though you see me seated in this chair here in the middle of the kingdom of aragon and in the attire of a despised outcast duena i am from the asturias of ovedo and of a family with which many of the best of the province are connected by blood but by untoward fate and the improvidence of my parents who i know not how were unseasonably reduced to poverty brought me to the court of madrid whereas a provision and to avoid greater misfortunes my parents placed me as seamstress in the service of a lady of quality and i would have you know that for hemming and sewing i have never been surpassed by any all my life my parents left me in service and returned to their own country and a few years later went no doubt to heaven for they were excellent good catholic christians i was left in orphan with nothing but the miserable wages and trifling presence that are given to servants of my sort in palaces but about this time without any encouragement on my part one of the esquires of the household fell in love with me a man somewhat advanced in years full bearded and personable and above all as good a gentleman as the king himself for he came of a mountain stock we did not carry on our loves with such secrecy but that they came to the knowledge of my lady and she not to have any fuss about it had us married with the full sanction of the holy mother roman catholic church of which marriage a daughter was born to put an end to my good fortune if i had any not that i died in childbirth for i passed through it safely and in due season but because shortly afterwards my husband died of a certain shock he received and had i time to tell you of it i know your worship would be surprised and here she began to weep bitterly and said pardon me senior donki hote if i am unable to control myself for every time i think of my unfortunate husband my eyes fill up with tears god bless me with what an air of dignity he used to carry my lady behind him on a stout mule as black as jet for in those days they did not use coaches or chairs as they say they do now and ladies rode behind their squires this much at least i cannot help telling you that you may observe the good breeding and punctiliousness of my worthy husband as he was turning into the kayak de santiago in madrid which is rather narrow one of the alcalde's of the court with two alga seals before him was coming out of it and as soon as my good squire saw him he wheeled his mule about and made as if he would turn and accompany him my lady who was riding behind him said to him in a low voice what are you about you sneak don't you see that i am here the alcalde like a polite man pulled up his horse and said to him proceed senior for it is i rather who ought to accompany my lady donya casilda for that was my mistress's name still my husband cap in hand persisted in trying to accompany the alcalde and seeing this my lady filled with rage and vexation pulled out a big pin or rather i think a bodkin out of her needle case and drove it into his back with such force that my husband gave a loud yell and writhing fell to the ground with his lady her two lackeys ran to rise her up in the alcalde and the alga seals did the same the guadalajara gate was all in commotion i mean the idlers congregated there my mistress came back on foot and my husband hurried away to a barbers shop protesting that he was run right through the guts the courtesy of my husband was noised abroad to such an extent that the boys gave him no peace on the street and on this account and because he was somewhat short-sighted my lady dismissed him and it was chagrin at this i am convinced beyond a doubt that brought on his death i was left a helpless widow with a daughter on my hands growing up in beauty like the sea foam at length however as i had the character of being an excellent needle woman my lady the duchess then lately married to my lord the duke offered to take me with her to this kingdom of aragon and my daughter also and here as time went by my daughter grew up and with her all the graces in the world she sings like a lark dances quick as thought puts it like a gypsy reads and writes like a school master and does sums like a miser of her neatness i say nothing for the running water is not purer and her age is now if my memory serves me sixteen years five months and three days one more or less to come to the point the son of a very rich farmer living in the village of my lord the duke's not very far from here fell in love with this girl of mine and in short how i know not they came together and under the promise of marrying her he made a fool of my daughter and will not keep his word and though my lord the duke is aware of it for i have complained to him not once but many in many a time and entreated him to order the farmer to marry my daughter he turns a deaf ear and will scarcely listen to me the reason being that as the deceiver's father is so rich and lends him money and is constantly going security for his debts he does not like to offend or annoy him in any way now senor i want your worship to take it upon yourself to redress this wrong either by entreaty or by arms for by what all the world says you came into it to redress grievances and right wrongs and help the unfortunate let your worship put before you the unprotected condition of my daughter her youth and all the perfections i have said she possesses and before god and on my conscience out of all the damsels my lady has there is not one that comes up to the soul of her shoe and the one they call altissadora and look upon as the boldest and gayest of them put in comparison with my daughter does not come within two leagues of her for i would have you know senor all is not gold that glitters and that same little altissadora has more forwardness than good looks and more impudence than modesty besides being not very sound for she has such a disagreeable breath that one cannot bear to be near her for a moment and even my lady the duchess but i'll hold my tongue for they say that walls have ears for heaven's sake donya redress what ails my lady the duchess as donki hote adjured in that way replied the duena i cannot help answering the question and telling the whole truth senor donki hote have you observed the comeliness of my lady the duchess that smooth complexion of hers like a burnished polished sword those two cheeks of milk and carbon that gay lively step with which she treads or rather seems to spurn the earth so that one would fancy she went radiating health wherever she passed well then let me tell you she may thank first of all god for this and next two issues that she has one in each leg by which all the evil humours of which the doctors say she is full are discharged blessed virgin exclaimed donki hote and is it possible that my lady the duchess has drains of that sort i would not have believed it if the barefoot friars had told it me but as the lady donya redress says so it must be so but surely such issues and in such places do not discharge humours but liquid amber verily i do believe now that this practice of opening issues is a very important matter for the health donki hote had hardly said this when the chamber door flew open with a loud bang and with the start the noise gave her donya redrigus let the candle fall from her hand and the room was left as dark as a wolf's mouth as the saying is suddenly the poor duena felt two hands seize her by the throat so tightly that she could not croak while someone else without uttering a word very briskly hoisted up her petticoats and with what seemed to be a slipper began to lay on so heartily that anyone would have felt pity for her but although donki hote felt it he never stirred from his bed but lay quiet and silent nay apprehensive that his turn for a drubbing might be coming nor was the apprehension in idle one for leaving the duena who did not dare to cry out well basted the silent executioners fell upon donki hote and stripping him of the sheet and the coverlet they pinched him so fast and so hard that he was driven to defend himself with his fists and all this in marvelous silence the battle lasted nearly half an hour and then the phantoms fled donya redrigus gathered up her skirts and bemoaning her fate went out without saying a word to donki hote and he sorely pinched puzzled and ejected remained alone and there we will leave him wondering who could have been the perverse enchanter who had reduced him to such a state but that shall be told in due season prosancho claims our attention and the methodical arrangement of the story demands it End of Chapter 48 Chapter 49 of Donki Hote Volume 2 This is a Librebox recording All Librebox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer please visit Librebox.org Donki Hote Volume 2 by Miguel de Cervantes Savedra translated by John Ormsby Chapter 49 of what happened Sancho in making the round of his island We left the great governor angered and irritated by that portrait painting rogue of a farmer who instructed the major domo as the major domo was by the Duke tried to practice upon him He however fool, boor, and clown as he was held his own against the mall saying to those around him and to Dr. Pedro Recio who as soon as the private business of the Duke's letter was disposed of had returned to the room Now I see plainly enough that judges and governors ought to be and must be made of brass not to feel the importunities of the applicants that at all times in all seasons insist on being heard and having their business dispatched and their own affairs and no others attended to come what may and if the poor judge does not hear them and settle the matter either because he cannot or because that is not the time set apart for hearing them forthwith they abuse him and run him down and not at his bones and even pick holes in his pedigree You silly stupid applicant don't be in a hurry wait for the proper time and season for doing business don't come at dinner hour or at bedtime for judges are only flesh and blood and must give to nature what she naturally demands of them I'll accept myself for in my case I give her nothing to eat thanks to senior Dr. Pedro Recio Cirque afuera here who would have me die of hunger and declares that death to be life and the same sort of life may God give him and all his kind I mean the bad doctors for the good ones deserve palms and laurels all who knew sancho panza were astonished to hear him speak so elegantly and did not know what to attribute it to unless it were that office and grave responsibility either smartened or stupefied men's wits at last Dr. Pedro Recio Ajilares of Cirque afuera promised to let him have supper that night though it might be in a contravention of all the aphorisms of hypocrites with this the governor was satisfied and looked forward to the approach of night and supper time with great anxiety and though time to his mind stood still and made no progress nevertheless the hour he so longed for came and they gave him a beef salad with onions and some boiled calves feet rather far gone at this he fell to with greater relish than if they had given him frankilins from Milan pheasants from Rome veal from Sorrento cartridges from Moran or geese from Lavajos and turning to the doctor at supper he said to him look here senior doctor for the future don't trouble yourself about giving me dainty things or choice dishes to eat for it will be only taking my stomach off its hinges it is accustomed to goat cow bacon hung beef turnips and onions and if by any chance it is given these palace dishes it receives them squeamishly and sometimes with loathing what the head carver had best do is to serve me with what they call oyas podridas and the rotten or they are the better they smell and he can put whatever he likes into them so long as it is good to eat and I'll be obliged to him and will requite him some day but let nobody play pranks on me for either we are or we are not let us live and eat in peace and good fellowship for when God sends the dawn he sends it for all I mean to govern this island without giving up a right or taking a bribe let everyone keep his eye open and look out for the arrow for I can tell him the devils in Cantigliana and if they drive me to it they'll see something that will astonish them nay make yourself honey and the flies eat you of a truth senior governor said the carver your worship is in the right of it in everything you have said and I promise you in the name of all the inhabitants of this island that they will serve your worship with all zeal affection and good will for the mild kind of government you have given a sample of to begin with leaves them no ground for doing or thinking anything to your worship's disadvantage that I believe said Sancho and they would be great fools if they did or thought otherwise once more I say see to my feeding and my dapples for that is the great point and what is most to the purpose and when the hour comes let us go the rounds for it is my intention to purge this island of all manner of uncleanness and of all idle good for nothing vagabonds for I would have you know that lazy idlers are the same thing in the state as the drones in a hive that eat up the honey the industrious bees make I mean to protect the husbandmen to preserve to the gentleman his privileges to reward the virtuous and above all to respect religion and honor its ministers what say you to that my friends is there anything in what I say or am I talking to no purpose there is so much in what your worship says senior governor said the major domo that I am filled with wonder when I see a man like your worship entirely without learning for I believe you have none at all say such things and so full of sound maxims and sage remarks very different from what was expected of your worship's intelligence by those who sent us or by us who came here every day we see something new in this world jokes become realities and the jokers find the tables turned upon them night came and with the permission of Dr. Pedro Recio the governor had supper they then got ready to go the rounds and he started with the major domo the secretary the head carver the chronicler charged with recording his deeds and agua seals and notaries enough to form a fair-sized squadron in the midst marched Sancho with his staff as fine a sight as one could wish to see and but a few streets of the town had been traversed when they heard a noise as of a clashing of swords they hastened to the spot and found that the combatants were but two who seeing the authorities approaching stood still and one of them exclaimed help in the name of God and the king are meant to be allowed to rob in the middle of this town and rush out and attack people in the very streets be calm my good man said Sancho and tell me what the cause of this quarrel is for I am the governor said the other combatant saying your governor I will tell you in a very few words your worship must know that this gentleman has just now won more than a thousand rails in that gambling house opposite and God knows how I was there and gave more than one doubtful point in his favor very much against what my conscience told me he made off with his winnings and when I made sure that he was going to give me a crown or so at least by way of a present as it is usual and customary to give men of quality of any sort who stand by to see fair or foul play and back up swindles and prevent quarrels he pocketed his money and left the house indignant at this I followed him and speaking him fairly and civilly asked him to give me if it were only eight rails for he knows I am an honest man and that I have neither profession nor property for my parents never brought me up to any or left me any but the rogue who is a greater thief than cacus and a greater sharper than Andradeia would not give me more than four rails so your worship may see how little shame and conscience he has but by my faith if you had not come up I'd have made him disgorge his winnings and he'd have learned what the range of the steelyard was what do you say to this asked sancho the other replied that all his antagonist said was true and that he did not choose to give him more than four rails because he very often gave him money and that those who expected presence ought to be civil and take what is given to them with a cheerful countenance and not make any claim against winners unless they know them for certain to be sharpers and their winnings to be unfairly won and that there could be no better proof that he himself was an honest man than his having refused to give anything for sharpers always pay tribute to lookers on who know them that is true said the major domo let your worship consider what is to be done with these men what is to be done said sancho is this you the winner be you good bad or indifferent give this assailant of yours a hundred rails at once and you must disperse 30 more to the poor prisoners and you who have neither profession nor property and hang about the island in idleness take these hundred rails now and sometime of the day tomorrow quit the island under sentence of banishment for 10 years and under pain of completing it in another life if you violate the sentence for I'll hang you in a jibbit or at least the hangman will buy my orders not a word from either of you or I'll make him feel my hand the one paid down the money and the other took it and the latter quitted the island while the other went home and then the governor said either I am not good for much or I'll get rid of these gambling houses for it strikes me they are very mischievous this one at least said one of the notaries your worship will not be able to get rid of for a great man owns it and what he loses every year is beyond all comparison more than what he makes by the cards on the minor gambling houses your worship may exercise your power and it is they that do most harm and shelter the most bare faced practices for in the houses of lords and gentlemen of quality the notorious sharpers dare not attempt to play their tricks and as the vice of gambling has become common it is better that men should play in houses of repute than in some tradesmen's where they catch an unlucky fellow in the small hours of the morning and skin him alive I know already notary that there is a good deal to be said on that point said sancho and now a tip staff came along with a young man in his grasp and said senior governor this youth was coming towards us and as soon as he saw the officers of justice he turned about and ran like a deer a sure proof he must be some evildoer I ran after him and had it not been that he stumbled and fell I should never have caught him what did you run for fellow said sancho to which the young man replied senior it was to avoid answering all the questions officers of justice put what are you by trade a weaver and what do you weave landsheads with your worship's good leaf you're facetious with me you plume yourself on being a wag very good and where were you going just now to take the air senior and where does one take the air on this island where it blows good your answers are very much to the point you are a smart youth but take notice that I am the air and that I blow upon you a stern and send you to jail oh there lay hold of him and take him off I'll make him sleep there tonight without air by God said the young man your worship will make me sleep in jail just as soon as make me king why shant I make thee sleep in jail said sancho have I not the power to arrest thee and release thee whenever I like all the power your worship has said the young man won't be able to make me sleep in jail how not able said sancho take him away at once where he'll see his mistake with his own eyes even if the jailer is willing to exert his interested generosity on his behalf for I'll lay a penalty of two thousand dukets on him if he allows him to stir a step from the prison that's ridiculous said the young man the fact is all the men on earth will not make me sleep in prison tell me you devil said sancho have you got any angel that will deliver you and take off the irons I am going to order them to put upon you now senior governor said the young man in a sprightly manner let us be reasonable and come to the point granted your worship may order me to be taken to prison and to have irons and chains put on me and to be shut up in a cell and may lay heavy penalties on the jailer if he lets me out and that he obeys your orders still if I don't choose to sleep and choose to remain awake all night without closing an eye will your worship with all your power be able to make me sleep if I don't choose no truly said the secretary and the fellow has made his point so then said sancho it would be entirely of your own choice you would keep from sleeping not in opposition to my will no senior said the youth certainly not well then go and god be with you said sancho be off home to sleep and god give you sound sleep for I don't want to rob you of it but for the future let me advise you don't joke with the authorities because you may come across someone who will bring down the joke on your own skull the young men went his way and the governor continued his round and shortly afterwards two tip staffs came up with a man in custody and said senior governor this person who seems to be a man is not so but a woman and not an ill-favored one in man's clothes they raised two or three lanterns to her face and by their light they distinguished the features of a woman to all appearance of the age of 16 or a little more with her hair gathered into a gold and green silk net and fair as a thousand pearls they scanned her from head to foot and observed that she had on red silk stockings with garters of white taffety bordered with gold and pearl her breeches were of green and gold stuff and under an open jacket or jerkin of the same she wore a doublet of the finest white and gold cloth her shoes were white and such as men wear she carried no sword at her belt but only a richly ornamented dagger and on her finger she had several handsome rings in short the girl seemed fair to look at in the eyes of all and none of those who beheld her knew her the people of the town said they could not imagine who she was and those who were in the secret of the jokes that were to be practiced upon sancho were the ones who were the most surprised for this incident or discovery had not been arranged by them and they watched anxiously to see how the affair would end sancho was fascinated by the girl's beauty and he asked her who she was where she was going and what had induced her to dress herself in that garb she with her eyes fixed on the ground answered in modest confusion i cannot tell you senior before so many people what it is of such consequence to me to have kept secret one thing i wish to be known that i am no thief or evildoer only an unhappy maiden whom the power of jealousy has led to break through the respect that is due to modesty hearing this the major donal said to sancho make the people stand back senior governor that this lady may say what she wishes with less embarrassment sancho gave the order and all except the major domo the head carver and the secretary fell back finding herself in the presence of no more the damsel went on to say i am the daughter sirs of Pedro Perez mazorca the wool farmer of this town who is in the habit of coming very often to my father's house that won't do senora said the major domo for i know Pedro Perez very well and i know he has no child at all neither son or daughter and besides though you say he is your father you add then that he comes very often to your father's house i already noticed that said sancho i am confused just now sirs said the damsel and i don't know what i am saying but the truth is that i am the daughter of Diego de la llana whom you must all know i that will do said the major domo for i know Diego de la llana and i know he is a gentleman of position and a rich man and that he has a son and a daughter and that since he was left a widower nobody in all this town can speak of having seen his daughter's face for he keeps her so closely shut up that he does not give even the son a chance of seeing her and for all that report says she is extremely beautiful it is true said the damsel and i am that daughter whether report lies or not as to my beauty you sirs will have decided by this time as you have seen me and with this she began to weep bitterly on seeing this the secretary leaned over to the head carver's ear and said to him in a low voice something serious has no doubt happened this poor maiden that she goes wandering from home in such a dress and at such an hour and one of her rank too there can be no doubt about it returned the carver and moreover her tears confirm your suspicion sancho gave her the best comfort he could and entreated her to tell them without any fear what had happened to her as they would all earnestly and by every means in their power endeavor to relieve her the fact is sirs said she that my father has kept me shut up these 10 years for so long as it since the earth received my mother masses said at home in a sumptuous chapel and all this time i have seen but the sun in the heaven by day and the moon and the stars by night nor do i know what streets are like or plazas or churches or even men except my father and a brother i have and Pedro Pérez the wool farmer whom because he came frequently to our house i took it into my head to call my father to avoid naming my own this seclusion and the restrictions laid upon my going out were it only the church have been keeping me unhappy for many a day and month past i longed to see the world or at least the town where i was born and it did not seem to me that this wish was inconsistent with the respect maidens of good quality should have for themselves when i heard them talking of bullfights taking place and of javelin games and of acting plays i asked my brother who is younger than myself to tell me what sort of things these were and many more that i had never seen he explained them to me as well as he could but the only effect was to kindle in me a still stronger desire to see them at last to cut short the story of my ruin i begged and then treated my brother all that i had never made such an entreaty and once more she gave way to a burst of weeping proceed senora said the major domo and finish your story of what has happened to you for your words and tears are keeping us all in suspense i have but little more to say though many a tear to shed said the damsel for ill placed desires can only be paid for in some such way the maidens beauty had made a deep impression on the head carver's heart and he again raised his lantern for another look at her and thought they were not tears she was shedding but seed pearl or dew of the meadow nay he exalted them still higher and made oriental pearls of them and fervently hoped her misfortune might not be so great a one as her tears and sobs seem to indicate the governor was losing patience at the length of time the girl was taking to tell her story and told her not to keep them waiting any longer for it was late and there still remained a good deal of the town to be gone over she with broken sobs and half suppressed sighs went on to say my misfortune my misadventure is simply this that i entreated my brother to dress me up as a man in a suit of his clothes and take me some night when our father was asleep to see the whole town he overcome by my entreaties consented and dressing me in the suit and himself in clothes of mine that fitted him as if made for him for he has not a hair on his chin and might pass for a very beautiful young girl tonight about an hour ago more or less we left the house and guided by our youthful and foolish impulse we made a circuit of the whole town and then as we were about to return home we saw a great troop of people coming and my brother said to me sister this must be the round stir your feet and put wings to them and follow me as fast as you can lest they recognize us for that would be a bad business for us and so saying he turned about and began i cannot say to run but to fly in less than six paces i fell from fright and then the officer of justice came up and carried me before your worships where i find myself put to shame before all these people as whimsical and vicious so then senora said sancho no other mishap has befallen you nor was it jealousy that made you leave home as you said at the beginning of your story nothing has happened to me said she nor was it jealousy that brought me out but merely a longing to see the world which did not go beyond seeing the streets of this town the appearance of the tipstaffs with her brother in custody whom one of them had overtaken as he ran away from his sister now fully confirmed the truth of what the damsel said he had nothing on but a rich petticoat and a short blue damask cloak with fine gold lace and his head was uncovered and adorned only with its own hair which looked like rings of gold so bright and curly was it the governor the major domo in the carver went aside with him and unheard by his sister asked him how he came to be in that dress and he with no less shame and embarrassment told exactly the same story as his sister to the great delight of the enamored carver the governor however said to them in truth young lady and gentlemen this has been a very childish affair and to explain your folly and rashness there was no necessity for all this delay and all these tears and sighs for if you had said we are so and so and we escaped from our father's house in this way in order to ramble about out of mere curiosity and with no other object there would have been an end of the matter and none of these little sobs and tears and all the rest of it that is true said the damsel but you see the confusion i was in was so great that it did not let me behave as i ought no harm has been done said sanjo come we will leave you at your father's house perhaps they will not have missed you and another time don't be so childish or eager to see the world for a respectable damsel should have a broken leg and keep it home and the woman and the hen by getting about are soon lost and she who is eager to see is also eager to be seen i say no more the youth thanked the governor for his kind offer to take them home and they directed their steps toward the house which was not far off on reaching it the youth threw a pebble up at a grading and immediately a woman servant who was waiting for them came down and opened the door to them and they went in leaving the party marveling as much at their grace and beauty as at the fancy they had for seeing the world by night and without quitting the village which however they had set down to their youth the head carver was left with a heart pierced through and through and he made up his mind on the spot to demand the damsel in marriage of her father on the moral making sure she would not be refused him as he was a servant of the dukes and even to sancho ideas and schemes of marrying the youth to his daughter son chika suggested themselves and he resolved to open the negotiation at the proper season persuading himself that no husband could be refused to a governor's daughter and so the night's round came to an end and a couple of days later the government whereby all his plans were overthrown and swept away as will be seen farther on end of chapter 49