 Hi, welcome to Sunday coffee. Nice to see you today. Oh my goodness. It's a holiday weekend here in the US and so I'm a little delayed and I'll tell you why in a bit and Also, there's probably not that good of an excuse or a reason. So I'm not really looking for that however wanted to Let me just check my sound quality wanted to check in with you today and wanted to have this conversation are on the topic of rose rage I know you're probably like what the heck are you talking about? Well We're gonna have conversation about it. It's part of why I was late today. Well, I shouldn't say late but Why I was delayed this morning a bit So let's just check this to make sure that the audio is okay The chat replay will be live. So if you pop in and you don't want to be called out or say said Hello to don't type in the chat. Just a heads up on that If you're here on the replay, just know that you're part of the conversation as well and the good energies that we have flowing through here Okay, all right, so Good morning. Well, good afternoon potentially Hi cammy. Nice to see you Okay, so I do have coffee. It's like my second one. I think it's my second might be my third I think it's my second I got a new shirt this weekend. I want to share it with you Coffee takes the bitch right out of me I don't know if that's true. It might actually add some let me say it might add some maybe Yes, it is a full moon on Monday tomorrow. I'm actually I have a plans with one of my priestess friends and we are gonna do Some clearing we both have some stuff coming up And we're gonna clear Some things some twin energy things. I think I don't know exactly. We'll have to see we'll have to see what comes up All right, so we're gonna our topic today here and above life channel on our sunday morning podcast is about rose rage So usually I do this podcast earlier in the morning, but sometimes I do in the afternoon right now I'm kind of right on that cusp and So, you know, I've been moving doing a move and I'm kind of in two places I'm going to be at the main house a couple of days a week and I'm going to be In my new place the rest of the week and kind of balancing things And as needed for appointments and to spend time with my family and stuff. I'll be here and yesterday I Worked and then I had this appointment scheduled And it was scheduled I I scheduled it once this last week and then it got rescheduled for yesterday and then She messaged me and said I can't do it. I have a migraine. I'm like, okay and my sister and I were just hanging out after I had work and we were talking and spontaneously we just went to a new place and did a walk-in and Took the design that I had and got It done So this is my new Tattoo, can you see it? I have one here that says hopeful that I got in February of 2022 right on my birthday And this one is a rose. It's a gorgeous rose. I don't know if you can see it very well I should put pictures up. I'll put pictures up on this um It he kind of took I had this design in mind that I saw that I really liked And but I wanted it to be creative and artistic and I liked the whole black and white vibe and it's hard to tell But there's a lot of shading and very Very detailed work in here. It's kind of hard to see it Can you see that it's kind of hard to see but it is gorgeous and it wraps all the way around me It's gorgeous and it looks great this way or this way Or this way when I'm standing up. It's great. I like it and it feels like the beginning Feels like the beginning And it only took like 90 minutes It didn't take that long in it But it's the biggest tattoo that I've had to date because I have words like I have love here I have piece word piece on my ankle. I have two symbols one on each foot um, and I have um, you know hope on my hopeful on my wrist and then I have a little tiny tiny little rose Which was my first one when I was 21 that I got So but this is just the start. It feels like this is a beginning here and It's I chose the rose because I wanted to reclaim the masculine This right side is the masculine side the dominant side and I wanted to reclaim it in a way With reunite it with the feminine for me personally and so the rose represents this energy of of the feminine And of this grounded rooted energy of the earth of and of the goddess And of all the aspects and attributes of beauty that I the soul love and appreciate in nature and our natural world And the rose is just so symbolic and it's just it's love. It's the goddess of love energy and I've wanted to get it. I've wanted to get one for a while and so I'm like, okay, this is perfect and The timing is it's good. I got it on july 1st And it's like the start of the month, you know, it's just it's perfect. I love it. I absolutely love it and it's not even It doesn't even really hurt or burn or anything yet. I mean, it's I just got it last night. So It's great. It was really good. So rose rage So here's the story and here's what I'm going to share with you. We're going to talk about transmuting pain and how I finally right now here in this moment understand a little bit how people can do things like get a tattoo like that Like the beautiful arm sleeves. I love body art. I think it's gorgeous, but I've never like embarked on that because I felt like The way I express myself physically matters other people Take you and your first impression of best upon how you present or look right the way you dress Maybe we've heard it for years. Haven't we? Haven't we heard it for years? We have heard dress for success Right and it matters like when you go to a job interview So, you know, my background isn't like hr, right? When you go for a job interview, you really look at somebody and are like, okay This person's wearing a sports coat. This person is dressed for our environment This person I could see doing a presentation or you look at somebody and be like, oh, they're a little too casual Do they not think this is important? Are they not trying to impress us by how they look, you know what I mean? And we do that in so many different ways. Um, in the way we express ourselves the jewelry we wear and The perfume or cologne or scent that we wear The color of makeup we wear or not wear It's it's sometimes more what we don't don't how we don't present versus how we do present Like where's the effort being made and what does it mean and where is it coming from and how we chameleon chameleon like adapt to our environment And to scenarios so that we fit in why so that we'd be long And that causes an incredible amount of conflict inside and of pain and turbulence inside Because sooner or later or eventually you start to judge yourself as you're getting ready for an outdoor wedding A garden wedding and you're like, what do I wear? Do I wear a sundress? Can't wear white? And for for for people like do I wear a suit? They just wear a t-shirt or a shirt button up shirt a polo shirt is a polo shirt acceptable What kind of shoes can I wear sandals? Um, do I have to wear dress shoes like what is the what it's going to be acceptable? Or what about church sunday church? Did you grow up going to sunday church with grandma like that? What do you wear on the sunday? Do you wear your hat and your white gloves and what would you do? and How do you choose to express and there isn't angst angst about that like an internalized Judgment evaluation and anticipation of attempting to read the room before you get to the room And understanding from past experiences and what you've been taught and told In movies on television by your family What is expected based upon that experience that place or that environment right what is acceptable? And then how you will be perceived so we're super consciously aware of that even if we're not consciously we're subconsciously and we're sabotaging ourselves We're spinning in worry and doubt and can't decide what to wear Because we don't know what's going to be good or not good or accepted or or like if you're going to go out It's really hot in here. I gotta pull. I gotta pull my sleeves up you guys. I'm freaking hot right now Poof. I'm hot. Yeah, I know right a good. Oh look great right here. Wouldn't it look awesome? Okay um Yeah, I really do like my sleeves up nowadays. Anyway, um We really do spin into a place of Like this expectation. Am I going to be good enough? Am I doing the right thing? Am I choosing the right color? Am I choosing the right shirt? Am I choosing the right? words Am I choosing the right hairstyle? Am I good enough? Am I pretty enough? Am I enough and For me This feeling of Awareness that has come through me like Raging like the rapids of a big river Throughout the last couple of years the last two years Moments of such intensity and such Disconnection and detachment co-mingled with This entangled energy of burning and Long slow pain like undergoing surgery without anesthesia Like horrific pain, but it's not a physical body pain. It's an in the heart pain It's an in the soul pain. It's a soul aching a soul cracking open To understand or just see what's really inside and what I have to do what I can do for myself To allow myself to be present to be to be seen to be known as my authentic self In my fullest integrity instead of adapting and adjusting to other people Or the old Paradigm patterns that I've I have ingrained I have chosen to accept those things. Nobody's gonna care if I wear A sundress or a great pair of flowy pants to a wedding. Nobody's gonna care But the judgment of my path self And the projections of all of the voices or the messaging that I've received my whole life Is where the caring or the concern The stress comes from and the self judgment And then and the awareness then of the need for belonging the need to belong And to be recognized And as I'm sharing this I'm feeling The question come forward about like who am I like who are you? Who are you? I know you change and adapt And and adaptability and flexibility is great Like it's a good skill, but do you hold yourself back and sacrifice? That slow burn of really who you want to be in your expression It's a slow burn It's an ache That doesn't go away with Advil or Tylenol, you know, it's this And over time there are moments where you just like Instead of being sad or instead of feeling grief you get angry instead and you're like, where's this coming from It's coming from inside from that cracked open soul of yourself And it's not about other people's approval or recognition of you or love even it's about you In this beautiful abyss of acceptance and embracing what is here what is now what is you today Not who you were when you were 21 Or 35 or in your first marriage or in your second marriage As a mom as a parent as an entrepreneur or as a a teacher or as a doctor or as a All of the ways that we identify All of the ways that we understand ourselves and we take that in it's time for us to be in the embrace Embracing ourselves and a lot of times that means internal stuff internal work And that's painful. I've been in it. It's pain filled And when there's this moment like I had last night Is funny because so my sister came with me To get my Hi patty. Thanks for she thanks for being here our mods in the chat My sister came with me obviously it was her. She was like, hey, let's go to this place. I I've had you know My niece has had worked on here and none of that was a good experience Whatever i'm like, okay, let's just let's see what's up. I'm thinking yes And it all worked out everything worked out perfectly. I mean it's like one thing after another I mean everything just lined up to make it. I don't even understand how this all happened It's just beautiful the synchronicities and the lining up and It's crazy how it worked out And my sister was like knowing she was with the person with me We know it's 21 and got my first tattoo because it was her influence that I got excited I want to get one and she wanted to get one she could come with me. Let's do it together I'm like, okay, and then I like cried laugh the whole time and it's like this long And it's this big and it hurts And they cried laugh to the whole time And so she had that experience with this. She you know, she hasn't been with me with other tattoos and so then Then she she's like thinking. Oh my god. How are you gonna do this bigger one? Like hello It's my girl tattoo now. Yeah And I'm like And it has shading and it's gonna be a thing and it's gonna take a while and I'm like, I don't know I'm not worried about it. I don't even know why I don't I'm not worried about it Like I I need this as my process right now. I need this for myself. I need this I need this and I went in and I was kind of it's weird because for the first time I actually understand how people like to get tattoos because it like the pain part of it is like a release And it symbolizes the process of it symbolizes for me the release the healing the letting go by feeling the pain and then Creating or leaving something beautiful as part of the results of the process of feeling the pain And I totally get this now. I'm like, oh my god. I could so get addicted to getting tattoos now I was like, oh my god. I'm all here for it. My sister was worried because she's like, okay. You need to make sure you eat Okay, do you have you drinking enough water and all this stuff? And I'm like, um drinking enough water I'm gonna have a drink before I go and I did and I was fine. I was totally relaxed and not not weird or goofy I was like chill and It was no big deal Like I mean did it hurt? Well, yeah, but It wasn't like, oh my god. I can't I wasn't like tensing my muscles or greeting my teeth or Um, it was not even close to what I had anticipated. It could be Even with the shading and I was that's the part. I was like, oh god the shading that's great thing. I'm like, oh my god I'm not gonna do that and uh, but I wasn't stressed about it. I'm just like whatever So what I'm here for it and I told my sister said I'm here for it. I'm here for whatever this is I'm here for it and there was only two spots When he was tracing the side of the rose retracing it and it was toward the inside I don't know. It's from the outside of my arm here and it wasn't even the shading It was like there were some pieces like right here on the inside and it was surprising and I was like, oh, I said oh I felt that and uh He was like, okay, you know, he's like, all right Like take a breath kind of thing and I was like it's I said, I'm fine. I said, it's okay I said, but I would have felt that and then I'm like, okay. He said I'm gonna do that I'm gonna keep going here and I'm like, yeah, that's fine And he was doing it and I was like I took a nice breath in and I I went Like when I let it out or like I didn't say anything out loud, but in my head I was like I literally said Oh, you guys this is I'm gonna admit this. I said, I fucking hate you I said, I fucking hate you. I fucking hate you I said, I fucking hate you and I'm like, whoa, I'm like, where the hell did that come from? I fucking hate you and I I Said it like in my head. That's what came forward. I was like, oh my god This is like a spiritual release. I fucking hate you like I'm like, oh my god There's some kind of energy that's moving through me that wants to clear Based upon past experience and past pain and all these regrets and all this Shittiness over the last couple years and all these things. I'm like I I felt like I've held myself back or I've Put other people's opinions and views for years over my own And I didn't even realize I was doing it in my personal life and I was encouraging people and coaching You know, follow your bliss be yourself and I'm like, I didn't even know that I wasn't being myself until I went through this hell the last couple years and In that moment, I'm like, I fucking hate you and I'm like and I'm just like and my sister said, are you okay? Like or she said something because she noticed because my eyes kind of squinted a little bit and I'm like, oh my god If I was by myself, I would have cried I think and been emotional To release it but she was sitting right next to me I didn't want her to be worried because I knew she was worried about me Here I am putting somebody else's, you know Awareness, which was sweet that she was there for me totally sweet, but I was like I need to feel this pain and then I said to myself. I'm like I release I release this pain. I release the pain And then it kept happening a little bit for a couple. I don't know maybe it was five minutes or something And I just kept saying I release the pain I release the pain like I'm done with it and I wasn't saying like I just want to be clear. I'm not like I wasn't like Angry at a at one specific person or anything like that. It's not like that It's just that's just what came forward And I just allowed it There's a lot of And hate is a very strong word, but there's a lot of anger there and I'm like whoa And so the pain and the anger like alchemized And there was that burn and then release and I'm like, oh my god. I totally understand this How people get tattoos and how this works So my rose rage came through and released So think of a time in your life when you have When you when you know That you have chosen Someone else's feelings or needs above your own even though you are feeling maybe even your heart is breaking but you're trying to do the right thing or Be a good person even though you are devastated you are being pummeled by energy and pain and so much emotion and loss But you are you choose you've chosen Somebody else's needs above your own Think of a time when that's happened for you. There's probably many times, right? Just think of a time As soon as you think about that as soon as that comes up to mind or even just even just the question of that You can kind of feel I'm Going to say Some of you will feel right here in your chest in your body This energy moving wanting to move forward Wanting to be present Wanting to be brought in to your awareness in a way that you can look at The past circumstances or situations without actually seeing them just acknowledge. Yes. I've done that. Yes I've experienced this and let that awareness come forward that you've experienced that Wherever it's in your body, it might be in your low belly in your gut It might be in your right hip because I do get stuff in my hip seriously that's sacrum That root chakra especially that right side for me. Oh pulley might be in your neck Might be in the tenseness in your jaw Let that awareness come in And just hold the energy I know it feels tight, right? It kind of tends and kind of like oh my god. I'm a little nervous about this Oh my god. Oh my god. It's like holding a bubble of water like oh god. I'm nervous about this In fact, let's visualize that You can put one in each hand if you'd like. Yes. Do one in each hand a little orb of water A little bubble of water to do this activity with me and synergy. It's coming in. It's being channeled Just bring it in Use your alchemy to visualize bubbles of water in your hands And acknowledge that place in your body Where you've chosen someone else's needs while you yourself are in pain you were aching You were longing for something different For something more for some kind of recognition or acknowledgement And you swallowed or pushed back your own needs so that someone else was the priority or was The center the focus So visualize these bubbles of water and let's breathe You can set them in your lap if you'd like to do that on your thighs You know your legs I'm gonna keep them right at chest level for me because I think the balancing piece of the masculine feminine for me super super important I'm trying to Give myself that union that reunion again with honoring my masculine side to reclaiming it the power of it with the sacred feminine embodied in it etched in it Like that so for me, that's what that is That's what it is It's not about retribution It's not about vengeance It's not about karma It's simply about awareness coming into balance Awareness and then coming into balance because you need two for balancing if you just hold one it's not balancing two two parts You and this other person or your circumstance today Versus your circumstance in the past Both of these Dual things are influencing you. They're impacting you Your feelings and your emotions and the energy It's right here your thoughts and your emotions And what balances your thoughts and your emotions is the energy. That's what unites it The energy unites the thoughts of the emotions Neither one is right or wrong or wrong or right Or the best choice first choice second choice When you bring them into a balance in your awareness, you can then embrace what is You can bring them together. They can hold a similar space together They don't have to be merged if they choose to merge They can if you want to bring them together to form one you can do that But you don't have to do that your life isn't about that You can't take every part of your life and put it together in a huge ball And then everything's perfectly balanced and all together all the time that feels kind of chaotic kind of confusing Too overly simplified. So we still have individualism While we also have pluralism We have two That bring us the opportunity for balance for connection for communication for inter connection So being an awareness here Give yourself permission to just Be here now with what is And you can kind of feel these getting smaller and smaller and smaller until they go into the palms of your hand The beautiful water soothes and soothes and coats the palms of your hand and the water element turns into energy Not nice breath in Then exhale out Air element to clear as well. So water and air for clearing To support the balance Now I see yellow Like a solar plexus energy very nice. You feel that? Touch your belly breathe into your belly a little bit Let your spirit your intuition your higher self guide and direct you To help you incorporate this energy as it is appropriate for you Into whatever facets or aspects of your life that you are working on or working with To bring into your awareness if you need to know you'll Know and if you don't it's okay. Just soften soften soften soften and integrate All right, my beautiful friends. Thank you so much for being here today. Thank you for listening my story share I hope you have fun or relaxing plans for the holiday weekend I ordered a bed and it's not at my new place yet I it doesn't come till right after 4th of july because it's the holiday, right? Which is fine because I got to work tomorrow and I got to work Wednesday anyway And I got clients too. So I got some things I gotta do today. So I'm gonna do that Yes, I do intend to channel tomorrow I'm kind of on the fence. There's somebody I'd like to channel But I'm not 100 sure if it's uh, if I'll if I'll do that or not. So I'm not going to share who it is yet Um But I have I have something I have something in mind. We'll say it that way Um, so yeah, I will be here on the 3rd of july As always, thank you so much for being here in the description Of this video and all my videos you can use The information in the description to schedule your own session with me If you'd like to have a private session with me, you can do that There's a link right there and it goes right to my scheduler for private session and also I am hosting another This month another group. We're doing another psychic reading group on july 20th At 6 p.m. Central time and there's a link to join that as well That is right now the current rate for that is 40 dollars a person It is a service that I offer and we're doing that again This month and so you can register for that if you'd like it's going to be limited I think I'm going to keep it to like 12 people. I'd like to have smaller groups When I do stuff like that so that we don't have to talk for like three hours, you know It's like an hour hour and hour and 20 minutes or so maybe hour and half Um, just depends on the size of the group. Sometimes we can get done in an hour and so we'll see but Yeah, thank you so much for being here. I hope I've inspired your spirit today Whoop whoop and filled you with some hope and encouraged you to live your life It's your life after all and you get to live it if you want to have the word bitch on your shirt You have the word bitch on your shirt. You want to have a rose on your arm you have a rose on your arm Be you Be you and in subtle little ways Right. It might just be a little necklace that has some kind of meaning to you might be something little Might be a color I'd be some cool socks that I have disney socks that I love and they always make me feel so good and I express myself that way And then I wear them and people are like, oh disney. I'm like, yeah, so people that have a common Connection with you. They will vibe with you and that's cool, right? Because that's what you want You don't have to change yourself or fake yourself to get along with people You want the people who are Like people who have Some kind of special energetic vibe like you do like the disney thing for me You want to be able to connect with them, you know and have some cool Conversations and stuff and share the love like that like you want to be able to do that So if you're presenting with something you love or in a way that you love and you feel feel really It feels important to you or special to you or whatever And somebody recognizes that that's a true connection. That's authentic Not fake not putting your best foot forward not orchestrating your behavior So that somebody likes you none of that not holding back because you don't want them to like be overwhelmed by you and not love you Not like that Just like some form of authenticity It just feels so good. Like it feels good. This feels so good I had no idea how good this would feel. I'm like, I think I'm gonna be addicted to this This feels really good All right. Hey have a great day and a great week and I will chat with you again tomorrow on monday Bye for now