 If your husband is a good guy but you're ready for divorce, you're not a bad person. So don't let guilt get the best of you. You're not doing him any favors by staying. If anything, you're actually gonna start building up resentment. Your relationship doesn't have to be toxic to validate your feelings of wanting to leave. Think of it this way. If he's a good guy, he deserves to be happy. That means he deserves to be with somebody who values him and wants him just the way he is. If that's not you, you gotta let him go. He may not see it like this right now, but you're doing both of you a favor. This video is a perfect example of why so many young men are scared to get married, are scared to commit. You think about all the energy, the time, the money that you put into this relationship just for the woman to decide one day that even though you're a great guy, she's just not as happy as she could be so she's gonna leave you. Like that is horrifying. Marriage in our culture today is truly meaningless. Like without God, marriage is meaningless. I don't understand why non-Christians get married. Maybe it's the tax benefits, I don't know. But ultimately when they look at any kind of relationship from a non-Christian perspective, the goal is how can I get as much happiness and enjoyment and personal fulfillment out of this arrangement as possible? And when that is no longer working for me, when I'm not happy anymore, when I'm not getting what I want out of this relationship, well of course I'm just gonna move on because that was the whole point. People have become so quick to pull the trigger when they're not experiencing the happiness or satisfaction that they want in their marriage. Take this video for an example. This is a woman on TikTok who got thousands and thousands of likes on this video because she's telling a woman to leave her husband that is quote unquote good because she doesn't like him anymore, she doesn't love him anymore, she doesn't find happiness in the relationship anymore. And this is seen as a good and almost a giving thing, a nice thing for the husband that she would leave him so he can find somebody that really takes joy in him and is really actually happy around him and really truly loves him. So in a way, this woman is encouraging other women to do their husband's service. Hey, if you're not feeling it anymore, move on. Honestly, this kind of thinking does so much damage. When gaining happiness is the supreme value in any relationship, it's gonna turn out to be toxic. It's gonna turn out to be just kind of a selfish, what can I get from this? And of course you're not gonna be in a good place. If you're constantly looking, how can I personally fulfill myself in this relationship? Of course it's not gonna be a good dynamic. Of course you're gonna run out of the initial infatuation of the relationship and as time progresses and as that love moves from kind of that initial infatuation stage into a more secure, faithful, just a steadfast love that I've heard relationships turn into as people get married and they're with each other for numbers of years. Like when you're experiencing that, all of a sudden, you're like, oh wow, I'm not experiencing the butterflies initially, as I initially experienced, so something must be wrong. I must need to find this next hit of love or I need to fall in love with somebody new because I'm falling out of love with this other person. I think this highlights not only a misunderstanding of what marriage is but a misunderstanding of what love in a relationship looks like. Look, I don't pretend to be an expert on this but I know this for sure that if your hope is in staying in love with a person which is completely based on feelings, right? I feel in love with this person right now. Your relationship is gonna fall apart because what it needs to be is a decision to choose to love this person. I choose to love this person regardless of how I feel because look, my feelings are gonna go up and down. It doesn't mean that, okay, today I love them and tomorrow I hate them, but some days, hey, you're just not gonna be all there. But what is the calling? It's to love them anyway. It's to show up anyway, to choose to love them. That is an action as opposed to being in love with somebody which is a nice feeling which is nothing wrong with that but that's a feeling that we can't be completely guided by. Now when we talk about marriage, God's definition of marriage is completely different from what the world proposes. Like I said, the world is all about, hey, how can I get something from this arrangement? God's definition of marriage is two people becoming one flesh in order that they might display God's glory and in order that they might display the love of between Christ and his church. This is why I think it's so important to make sure that your future spouse, the person that you're dating, the person that you wanna marry has their own relationship with God and that their faith is grounded in the scriptures that they're not kind of pulled to and fro by what the culture decides is truth. Cause at the end of the day, if one of you is saying, you know, this is a covenant, this is not just a decision that we're making before people but rather a covenant that's being made before God that isn't gonna be broken unless there's some sort of, you know, abuse or sexual promiscuity or you know, those kind of exceptions that the Bible lays out. Apart from those things, okay, we are here, we are going to work through whatever it takes unless both of you are on that same page, you know, you leave that door open to just, for them just to leave and obviously there's things that happen where you get married to somebody that you think is a Christian and things are solid and all of a sudden, you hear stories of this, they deconstruct or maybe they're abusive or whatever else and those are really tragic and just awful situations. Here and now, you can say, okay, are you on the same page as me? Are we in this, is this a covenant that we're making before God that, you know, divorce isn't just gonna happen because we're getting tired of each other or maybe you're not experiencing as much happiness as you want to or as much fulfillment? Like the key here, I think, is to recognize what can I do? What am I doing to actually bolster this relationship as opposed to when it gets challenging, when it gets tough, am I just gonna leave because hey, you know, I wanna be nice to you too, you're probably not super happy either so I'm doing you a favor by leaving. That's not God's way at all. The conversation often revolves around falling in love with somebody or falling out of love with somebody. Like falling out of love with somebody is an excuse or justification for leaving a marriage but I wanna go to the biblical definition of what it means to love somebody. In 1 Corinthians 13, it says, love is patient, love is kind, love does not envy or boast, it is not arrogant or rude, it does not insist on its own way. This is a complete refute to a selfish love that is only in it for what I can get. It is not irritable or resentful, it does not rejoice in wrongdoing but rejoices in truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things and endures all things. This steadfast love that hey, regardless of what we're gonna experience in our lives, our culture revolves around this pursuit of personal happiness but God today is calling us to a pursuit of something greater, of something grander of our responsibility and our calling in Christ to love somebody so much more than ourselves. This is a high calling but it exemplifies God's love for us that when we didn't deserve it, God loved us. Thanks for watching this video. If you enjoyed it, subscribe because I'm putting out new videos like this all the time. A huge shout out to everyone on Patreon. It is because of you guys that I can continue to make this content and continue my mission of equipping people to follow Jesus daily. If you wanna support that mission, click the link in my description and sign up today. It would be a huge blessing. Until next time, God bless.