 I'm not sure how to pronounce that says I have told him so often what I want and need it was a training for me because expressing was hard for me but I overdid it now he says he does the exact opposite to protest yeah I mean if you're doing it in a forceful way where you're trying to manipulate him or that so this is what happens when you try to come from this space of force is that you end up with resistance whenever you're trying to manipulate someone whenever you're trying to control someone and they feel like you're trying to control someone trying to control them they will put up resistance right but if you tell them what you want need and then you give them the freedom right to do it and to make that decision and to decide that they're gonna step up and take that role and do those things then they're doing it out of choice and they're not doing it because you try to force them and prod them and and you know manipulate them and make them do something that they didn't want to do and that's that's what the difference is right the difference is in freedom of choice you want him to not feel obligated to do it but you want him to do it because he loves you and he values you and he wants to keep you in his life and that's why the the power position and the space of abundance and the willingness to walk away are such important things because if you're coming from those spaces it's not like hey you need to do this or else it becomes this thing where you're like hey I I want to feel valued and I want to feel loved and cherished and I want to feel like a priority in in your life and so if you know you want me to feel those ways like this is how I would like to you know this is what I'd like to experience and if he decides that he wants to be in your life because then all of a sudden it's like okay I get it right and he can make a decision whether he wants to do it or not and if he doesn't do it then it's like okay well you know that's your choice and you have the freedom to make a choice and I also have the freedom to make a choice right and I have the freedom to decide what I want to have in my life and what is acceptable and not acceptable and how I wanted to be how I want to be treated and you know and so all of a sudden it's like you know he he's he'll start to feel that and he'll start to see that and he'll be like okay I can either go somewhere where I can you know continue to do what I've been doing or I can step up and start treating this woman the way that she knows that she deserves to be treated and it'll be a decision that will be mutual and it will be coming from a space of freedom and he'll be making that choice instead of it being this thing that you're trying to force him into and he rebels against it because he doesn't want to