 Hello and welcome to another video. It's been a while. This is the me plus you is a podcast. I'm going to say podcast. So you can either listen or you can look or you can do both. Or you can do both, yeah. And we're going to do a part two of our counseling, marriage counseling scenarios. So should we give some context or people will know the previous context was given. So if you haven't seen our previous video, then you check out our previous, literally our previous video and then you understand where we're coming from. This is the part two of it. Part two. Yeah. So let's dive into it. It's okay. We don't have a wardrobe for YouTube. Now people know it. It's not a secret. Anyway, okay. Great. Let me read the scenario first. Consider a couple who have been married for a long time and have settled into a comfortable routine. However, the husband realized that his commitment to the growth and development of the marriage has waned and he has become complacent. Yes. Reflect on your own level of commitment and actively investing in the relationship to ensure his long-term success drawing from this couple's story and exploring ways to reunite passion and growth within your own marriage. So the question is, are you truly committed to the growth and development of your marriage? How do you actively invest in the relationship to ensure its long-term success? Are we truly invested in the growth and success of this marriage? You tell me. No. I don't think so. Really? No, I'm just kidding. Okay. I think we are, but is the question asking us what we're doing in terms of that? Yes, I think to reflect on it. And for me, what I find interesting is what I think everybody would have a different definition of success. Yeah, definitely. So for me, can I reflect on that or you want to go? Yes, you can. So for me, one big part of success of a marriage is that you support each other in the long term, I want to say long term, but it can be any goal. In the goals you have for yourself personally and also support each other in the common goals you have or maybe how you see a family. I want to support you in that we get there. But also I really appreciate that and I've also said that a lot, not a lot, but I've mentioned this to you from time to time that there's a certain peace in the marriage. Yeah. I'm not saying we never have arguments. We do have arguments. Yeah. And we have misunderstanding and we're just normal people clash from time to time. But for example, in my career, I am at this stage in my career because of Kwame because there's peace at home. So whatever I'm building outside, whenever I leave the house or of course, sometimes there are emergencies, sometimes there's things that you need to resolve. But generally, like 90% of the time, I know we're good. And that allows me to focus on the other goals I have outside of building my family and outside of the home life that we have. And for me, that's one of the things I was laughing at. That's one of the things I really appreciate and I think we are both invested in to really talk things through. And I think that we do very actively. Yeah. But what do you say? Would you see a success? I think we are quite successful in our marriage because we tend to prioritize communication and talking through things in order to have proper understanding and grow. And also, like you said, with being excited for the other person's personal, professional, emotional growth. And when they do share it, there's almost always a plan and a role that the other person has to play, even if it's just making sure that for you, there's peace at home that you feel quite comfortable knowing that when you leave for work, everything is fine at home. And when you're coming home, you're looking forward to coming home. So I think we actually do that quite well and I'm happy that it's something that we started even before we became like three people or a family. It's something that we were building consciously over time in our dating and in our cohabiting and now having a full... But do you feel the same that there's peace at home and that makes you of course there's peace at home. But does it help you in the goals you set? Yeah, I'm able to freelance and everybody who is a freelancer knows that it's not the easiest thing to do. But at least I know, for example, one of us has a stable income and that allows me to do the things I want to do in the way that I want to do it. I also know that when I'm home with Eli, I feel comfortable. This is the thing I'm trying to say. I feel comfortable. I don't feel the pressure that most men in conventional, traditional marriages would feel to take up everything upon themselves and not really speak up about... I don't have that mental weight, if I should put it that way. But you still do a lot of things for the house. No, no, I do. But I just think that it's not in the same vein as it being only me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We divide. Yes, we definitely divide. It's not about me. It's not about only me being responsible for something and only me thinking about. So I'm able to... Yeah, we divide that as well. Yeah. Okay, I'm happy to hear that. Do you feel that way? Anything you think we can invest more in? Or maybe at this... I mean, we're in a whole new phase of life, so maybe there are still things that we could work on. I mean, with the little one around, things changed a bit. At the moment, I'm not sure because we're still figuring out what it means to be three. Yeah, that's definitely true. So I'm not sure. I think maybe what we can do better is personal responsibility towards the whole new unit. And it comes up sometimes, but being kind to ourselves that it's fresh, it's completely new. It has nothing to do with... We've not done it before, so you don't have the ability to do it better or you could have known or anything. Yeah, you're right. So our... We are very ambitious in general. We just want to get a hang of it immediately and sometimes that's not the best. So trying to be kind to ourselves and being gracious with ourselves as well. Yeah, our boss is here if you hear him. And we're alone in the house. There's no help. I think that this is actually a good one because I think that we are doing great with the three of us. And we're all managing a lot because we both have our work and we are outside of being a partner. We are friends, we are family, extended family. And I think it would help if we get a bit more help. So that you also have... Because I mean, I'm not... My work is not as creative, but your work is... You are a creative. That is what... And you need certain space to explore the creativity. And I think now because it's so packed, like there's little time left. So I think we can... How we can invest a little or explore if we can get some outside help. I mean, Glamisum has been amazing with coming back and forth and from where she lives to here. But it's also good to give ourselves that breathing space. And I mean, yeah, we'll have to literally invest in that because you will have to pay the person. But at least you can think much clearer, I think. Yeah. So maybe that one? Yeah, I think... I know it's a sensitive word for you because you don't like outside people, but... Yeah, I do have a really, you know, touchy feeling about external help. But I think it's something that we really have to consider. I'm giving in slowly. I'm not saying like a five days a week thing. Like even just the fact that you would be able to edit for maybe two hours in one go. Because now you have to admit it's not possible. So it's not anybody's fault. It's just a situation. Like I'm not blaming the baby or anything, but it's like I think that breathing space would maybe help us also be better partners again, because you have a bit more headspace. Instead of going from one thing to the other. I agree. The multitasking is a lot. Okay. Do you think you'll manage or should we take a small break? Let's go till it becomes full bloom. I think we have one more scenario to go. Then let's do it. Let's do it. Hey, Eli. Hey, Eli. Hey, Eli. We're gonna be done soon, okay? Okay. Okay. We're gonna be done soon. Okay. Imagine a couple where one spouse has experienced a traumatic event in the past, such as childhood abuse or significant loss. Despite the passage of time, the unresolved trauma continues to impact their marriage, causing difficulties in trust, intimacy and emotional connection. Reflect on whether there are many unresolved, whether there are any unresolved past issues or traumas in your own marriage and consider how you can seek healing and address these issues together, drawing from the experience of this couple. So the question is, are there any unresolved past issues or traumas that continue to impact your marriage? How do you plan to seek healing and address these issues together? Heavy. Yeah. Do we wanna dive into this? Well, maybe we don't have to go into... I don't think Eli wants us to go into it. No, but I mean, we don't have to go into details. I don't think it's maybe fitting for YouTube to dive into your traumatic experiences, but I do have to say that I think we are well aware of... Where we've been and where we're going. Yes. And like any experiences have been significant, we kind of know, right? Yeah. Or I feel that... Yeah, we're well aware of it. Yeah. And... We have been dealing with it in, I mean, in behind the scenes, whatever. We talk about it a lot. None of the things, thankfully, have been hidden or have been, like, nobody has blocked the other partner from... Because some of these things were too glaring for you to hide and because we're both very analytical and we see and we watch how things unfold, we often ask these questions and we've been able to get the other person to speak about some of these things. I think my biggest example would be my relationship with my father and how the old fatherhood thing would be for me. And even using my creative medium, such as film, to write jolt and shoot the film and do a talk session with people and, you know... Yeah. So it's something that we are well aware of and are using the knowledge we have and, you know, the therapy of both of us and even professionals that we've seen or talked to grow with. And it's gonna be a constant, recurring thing because... You're always healing. You're never done. I mean... You never say that I'm done, done. It will creep up at some point. And I think it's something that we're doing well with. Yeah. And I think we're also pretty open to discussing our mental health. And I think because we've known each other now for about eight years or more. And eight years. And there have been transitions throughout that period. Like Kramme moved, for example, a major one from corporate to freelance. And in order to make that move, his mental health and how the job affected it was like a pretty big part of that. And at the time, you also needed some professional help with that. And I was also involved in that. And we discussed that. And I think, yeah, we felt comfortable with it. Doing this together. And also, like even with me, I mean, there have been some, in my family, some health issues in the past couple of years. So the family dimension has been explored thoroughly. And also how we deal with difficult times. I think it was your camera. Yeah, I guess. It's our YouTube channel. Yeah. Anyway. And I also think that we're pretty good at expressing what we need. So how do we take care of ourselves? Like for you, you like to sometimes indulge in like new things to learn, like film stuff and just like be in your bubble. And then recharge as you do that. For me, it's more like movement. So walks outside yoga, meeting with friends, writing. And I think that on itself are small parts of healing. Yeah. So we're getting there. I'm not saying we're like, and I think we're also lucky that we didn't go through anything like abuse or those are major things that I wouldn't know how to, how we would respond to that. But we are just lucky in that sense that we don't have to. Okay. Yeah. And on that note, I think that we're not going to continue the episode. This was good enough to express. I think we'll do that as scenarios another time because our boss wants us to take a break. Welcome to parenthoods where you plan one thing and then yeah, your baby wants something else. No, he's been really good. Yeah. We'll end here. Two scenarios. I think there's one scenario left, but let's see if we can address that one later. Yeah. All right. Thank you so much for watching. And yeah, we'll see if we're coming back with more. Oh, before I go, we're introducing a new series, which is coming your way. We're trying to do the things that we used to do when we were together before Eli came and one of them was travel. And even though our channel doesn't have a lot of travel contents, we used to every now and then go somewhere and we'll film how it went and everything. So yeah, our new series is coming up. Travel with us. So look out for that one. Yes. All right. All right. Thanks.