 Make a self-insert, um, Steven, Steven Michaels. Steven Michaels. Take a look. Steven Michaels with Michaels and Bicycles Times. I recently found out my wife is cheating on me with the mailman and my son resents me for not taking him to the park more. That has nothing to do. What are the goals for the rest of the season? I miss my wife. Get one of Steven Michaels. Steven Michaels with Michaels Bicycles? Okay, uh, let's see. Who's it gonna be, chat? This is Steven Michaels. Dude, I think the Trevor model would be a good Steven Michaels. This is Steven Michaels. Hey. What should Steven Michaels' voice be like? Maybe I just do normal voice. Now sit there for the next three hours and slow the day of a crack overdose. You did it. What the hell is wrong with you? Would you throw at me? We gave you money. Money? What is that? Wait, it's gone. I hate you. Check your pockets. It should have fell into your wallet. Really? Sir, do you happen to be O-positive? O-positive? Yeah, your blood type. What's your blood type? I don't know. I'm looking for cigarettes. Do you guys got any cigarettes? Oh, no. I'm about to crack. Michael's voice is tiring. No, no. Can I hop in the car with you guys? I just need a ride. No, no, no, no, no. Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you all right? Do you have any cigarettes? Let's see. I don't. I do have a burrito. Yeah, I'll take that. Next best thing to... Cancer sticks, I guess. There we go. Hey. Get a job. Get a job. I used to have one. I'm surprised to bounce side Watson as their quarterback. Welcome to the Dog Pound. It has a whole new meaning now. Hey. Yeah, I got no cash. Sorry. What the hell? I got no cash. Sorry. In full stride. Hey, sir, how you doing? Man, man. Would you like to have a bike for a dollar? For a dollar? A one dollar. This bike could be yours. Yeah, I'll take it. I used to sell bikes. All right. Get on this bike here and give me a state ID and I'll give it to you. All right. What's your state ID, sir? 3-4-5-0-6. All right. There you go, sir. One dollar and it's yours. Just accept that payment on your phone. And like that, now you are the proud owner of a new BMX bike. It's all yours. Oh, thanks, man. Yeah, no problem. Have a wonderful day. Wait, I don't own this, though. Wait, I do. What? Did I just randomly give me a bike? Do you know what I'm saying? My house just dies riding a bike. Hey. Thank you. Do you have any cigarettes? Yeah. Well, a good guy did me. I don't. There you go. Oh, well. Thanks, man. Merry Christmas. Hey, is anybody here? Hello? Is that my bike? Hey, did he say I stole my bike? Wait, my bike did get stolen. That guy stole my bike. It's over here. Fuck, dude. Hey. Hello? Hey, I had my bike. I had my bike stolen. You got what? My bike got stolen. Okay. Can you back up a little bit? I'll come and see you, sir. Give me a minute. Okay. What's your name, sir? My name is Stephen Michaels. Stephen Michaels. Okay. And a bicycle like a BMX or something? Yeah, my bicycle got stolen. Oh, where was that, sir? Right outside the PD. Oh, shit. How long ago was it? What? How long ago was your bike stolen? About four minutes ago. Four minutes? Yeah. Okay. How much did you pay for that bike? One dollar. Okay. Is it yours? Yeah. But it's all I have. Can you buy another one if I give you a dollar? No. Here you go. What? I mean, what about now? Two dollars? Somebody sold it to me. Oh, shit. Yeah. What are we going to do about this, sir? I don't know. Oh, shit. My wife left me. Your wife left you? Yeah. Oh, that's really sad. Is it because of the bike that got stolen or? No. Oh. It's because I did crack. Did what? I smoked crack. You mean how? So she left you and she left with the kids? Because you did crack. Yeah, and tried to feed it to the kids. What? Did you get arrested for that? What the fuck? No. I would have left, too. That's fucked up. What do you think about the Colts situation now that they traded Matt Ryan to the Colts from the Atlanta Falcons? I don't know, sir. I don't watch sports or entertain anything like that at all. Okay. Yeah. I'm Canadian. I don't even like hockey. Yeah. Well, good luck finding your bikes. I gave you $2. Do you still need my car snow? No. Just crack it and try to feed crack to this kids or something. And his wife left. Gross. That's fucking gross. You said you don't need my help anymore. Are you sure? No, I need you. Yeah. Jump in. Oh, okay. Okay. I'm sorry, sir. Judy is calling. Good luck with your bike and your crack. I love you. No. I just got a missed call from you about six minutes ago, five minutes ago. Oh, do you sell lock picks? Yeah. Can I get one? No, you won't. Do you have to go? Yeah. It'll be $2,800. That's cheaper than normal price. Normal price at a mechanic shop is about $3,500 after that. Well, I only have $5,000 in my bank account. I've only got a van stopper. You can pick up a normal lock pick from a mechanic shop for a lot cheaper, but some cars and stuff like that won't be able to sell. How much are they normally? Normal lock picks. I'm pretty sure a couple hundred before tax at a mechanic shop. Obviously, I mean, I've got advance lock picks here for $2,800, but they work on like pretty much anything, you know? And they last a bit longer. I'm glad to hear that, dude. Hell! I'm okay. Wait, he's just leaving. Are you going to let him go? I'm sorry. I just want to make sure you're okay. I'm hurt pretty bad. Hey, you want me to go get you some medical real quick? Sure. Somebody stole my bike. Oh, were you on a bike? Yeah. Here's the account. Yeah, all right. What's the name? Ow! You're supposed to help me. What happened? I'm trying to. I'm just a bit distracted, all right? Or were you doing in the middle of the road, sir? I was walking. I thought you were local. I was about running over myself. You should have walked in the middle of the road, sir. That usually happens. Yeah, my wife left me. Yeah, sometimes. Yeah, my wife left me and took the kids. Yeah, she left me for the mailman. My dad's a mailman. Your dad's a mailman? Is he a homewrecker? Well, I guess he did construction on the side. Look at this. Pretty cool, huh? All right, who's bike is this? It's mine. I got it when I was hostage for a Polito. You're a hostage? No, I was. What happened? They just, you know, some robbers needed someone for a back. So shoot them. Then when the robbers gave me the spike. That's the least I can do, you know? Oh, cool. So I can have this? Of course you can, yeah. I don't mind. I have been using it. It would be more use if you have it. Hello there, sir. I'm just giving this man a bicycle to ride for today. Thanks so much for this. Hey, Crystal, do you need any more role-playing practice? Oh, not recently. You don't have any trainee or trained person? No, not today. Like yesterday or whatever the store thing happened. Yeah, yeah, I'll let you know though. Yeah, yeah. Enjoy the bike, sir. Okay, well thanks. I don't know what I'm going to do. Do you know where I can get crack? I tried to feed crack to my kids and my wife left. My wife left me. That moved. Where'd she go? What happened then? Where'd she go? Everybody leaves me. Nobody loves me. This is the most depressing repeat. Oh my gosh. Dude, what am I going to end in? Just like that, a cop just spokes me. Oh my, oh my.