 then I guess step three would be removers from your life, if we cause you pain and show no progression towards change. You wouldn't treat a neurotypical person like that, you wouldn't, I guess some people do, but you wouldn't in general treat their behaviors as something out of their control. It's important not to infantilize autistic people, not to treat them like children or treat them like they don't understand things. You need to treat them as an independent adult, and if they're not on it, if they don't act like an independent adult, and they really haven't done that work on themselves, then that's their problem. It's not your problem.