 So I'm gonna be kind of talking about myself a little bit in this video and One of the the things that happened to me. I was probably in my mid 20s at the time and I was in college and it was a relationship I was in and It was so bizarre because I have been working on myself. I have been doing a lot of journaling a lot of Looking at the ways I talked to myself introspection that type of thing Reading spiritual texts psychology books that sort of stuff trying to implement all those things and I remember, you know, I had the theory in my head almost, you know I had the ideas were there, but I wasn't really I hadn't integrated them. I hadn't Found out for myself. Oh my god. They're actually true. Okay. This is real and In this relationship what happened was I had a sense of being Unfulfilled now, it wasn't even a relationship. This was like a very short lived thing You know, I didn't you wouldn't even call it a relationship, but it was very powerful because I remember feeling really bad emotionally about it and I Remember the day it happened. I was going about my day and I felt I was carrying this feeling this feeling was of Just feeling not good enough, you know feeling I think that's what it meant But it was just in me. I didn't know what it meant But it was just a feeling I had in my body like oh my god. I feel so bad. I feel terrible So I actually remember I decided okay. I'm actually I'm actually gonna go home I'm actually it was it was that it was like that and you know, luckily for me I had the the luxury to do that I suppose but I could have stayed I Could have just battled through that feeling but something in me maybe from the work I had done before reading the theory of all that is stuff something in me said no actually It's a good thing if you actually go home and and Be with this emotion so I got home and Decided I was going to do some journaling With the feeling as it was right there was present. It was It was really active. It was inflamed intense and I just start to write and I started to write and write and write and I just gave myself permission to say whatever it is the feeling wanted to say and I was actually amazed because The what came on the page Was horrendous stuff. It was really nasty stuff I was writing about myself how I actually felt about myself how worthless I was and how Unworthy and you know all the short comments that I saw on myself and at the end of it, you know, I actually All of a sudden as soon as I had written it all out and I looked at it That's when it happened That is when it happened. What happened you say? It was I realized I am doing this to myself that was the realization and with that it was like a weight just Right off my shoulders. I realized it had nothing to do with the person I was in this relationship with this non-existent relationship really it was very early stages and My reaction to it was way too intense for for where it was so I Had this sense of How can I feel this way about this person when and you know Blame the relationship or blame them for the emotions. I have when I am talking to myself like this Here I am Criticizing judging myself despising myself writing horrible things about myself So that was a part of myself that I had completely Just request didn't want to look at it Didn't want to look at my own self judgments didn't want to look at my own self hate my own self loathing Pushed it away, and then I projected it out onto something else At that moment the relationship I just completely let it go, you know It was just a non issue and never crossed my mind after that, you know, I think I saw the person again a few times But totally different energy like it was just night and day So Really the point of this is what is the realization that we get from doing inner work having insights or Spiritually awakening I suppose it is a realization and this has been said the book of course miracle says this other other Spiritual texts said this people who have attained it have said this they realize it always comes with one realization I am doing this to myself So it's about taking complete Honesty complete responsibility for how we feel how we treat ourselves and Reversing the projections that we have on situations and people in our lives So practically speaking again, I'm gonna Recommend that you start a journal if you're not already journaling give yourself permission to be horrible to yourself when you journal and Also to be nice to yourself in your journal. So it's both As I said in my past video, it's about having a balance between the two sides the the shadow side and The side that's genuine the side that's you the loving side of yourself and You'll be missed you'll be realizing, you know, okay. Am I talking to myself in any kind of negative way here? Why am I blaming anyone else for this if I'm doing that to myself if I stop doing it to myself? Then maybe I can look at other people but until then I'm just gonna work on myself and I'm not gonna worry about what anyone else thinks of me and It's so liberating and it is the great thing about it is you have complete control over that Once you realize you've been using these attack thoughts against yourself. Okay. Well, I can stop doing that because I have control of myself Okay, a bit of a personal story for me today, but maybe it'll help some people If you would like to contact me you can always do that through my website where I do one-to-one sessions on anything any issue Usually emotional freedom is what I work with with people But you can do that at visiting dr. David lonely calm. You can send me an email or you can You can That's probably the handiest way to do it really is just go to my website I'm on Facebook as well. But if you want to find that stuff, you'll find Guys thanks a million for watching this. I hope it helped and any questions send them my way and I will talk to you again soon Bye for now