 My life's kind of boring, but I'll film it anyway. No one else for this. Oh my God, please never let me do that again. Hello everyone, welcome back to another vlogmas, number eight. It's getting up there, pretty crazy. I am as per usual running late. It is currently like just before 4 p.m. I need to leave in like 30 minutes. I'm getting ready for a really fun festive night with my friend Laura. We are going to a little like Christmas pop-up bar. We're downtown LA and I've actually been wanting to go for like a few years now. I think we wanted to go when we lived here back in 2019 and they were like completely booked up. And so now that we moved back, we were gonna try to go with our friends, but they unfortunately had to work. So we just thought let's like make it a girls night for me type of thing. So my friend Laura is gonna go with me and I'm so excited. We're like kind of getting dressed up tonight. So that'll be really fun. I'm going to start getting ready and I thought I would do like a little get ready with me. Haven't done one of those in a long time and I thought I would show you like every single thing I've been using lately. I was actually gonna do like a full out, you know, trying new products and trying new, like I got a beauty blender that I wanted to use. And I just like don't have time. I need to do just my normal everyday routine. So you're of course gonna come along with me tonight as I get ready and then go on my fun little girls night. Girls night out. I actually haven't been downtown in like a minute. It's been probably, I don't know, like a couple months at least and I don't go downtown a lot but I thought it would be fun to take you along with me. So I started off with this rare beauty, what is this called? Poor diffusing primer. And I saw my friend Karina Gomez mentioned this and so I bought it and it's great. Besides my like rosacea spot right here, I would say my biggest skin concern issue is my texture and like my pores. But I know there's really like not much you can do about that. And then for foundation tonight, I'm using the Super Serum Skin Tint SPF 40 by Illya. I actually mentioned that in a main channel video recently. And then I'm gonna do some concealer under my eyes. Actually I went back to like an old school fave recently and this is the Maybelline Instant, what is it called? Instant Age Rewind. I'm gonna do a little bit of it as my eyeshadow primer as well. And I'm gonna take a little bit of Tarte Shape Tape and like put it on my little rosacea spot. I actually have a better shade, I've got two of these. Here we go. In case of water, I'm already like, cause I'm running late. I don't have water, that's great. Don't want all the wellness girlies to come from me but I'm definitely filling up this water bottle with tap water from my bathroom sink. I don't know if that's gross. Sorry, my script time is called the best for measures. So anyways, I can't believe that it's already, the day that I'm filming this, the 13th of December which is wild because number one is Taylor Swift's birthday, which is iconic. And number two, like Christmas is like 12 days away. Like I blinked, I was, you know, getting a little bit of a head start on Vlogmas. I filmed like a few days early to prepare myself and actually I'm so glad I did because that's what ended up saving my ass when I was sick. But now we're like in real time pretty much and it's just going by so fast. Like we leave for Arizona in 10 days. That is absolutely nuts. Oh, my next product I will be using is the It Cosmetics Bye Bye Pours pressed powder. I've actually been interested in trying out the, I think it's called the COSAS, COSAS setting powder. It's like cloud powder, I think it's called but it's always sold out on Sephora. I'm not really much of a makeup girly. I just kind of like buy things that I see recommended or like truly, you know, vetted and tested or I just like buy stuff from Ulta or the drugstore or whatever. So these are just kind of products that sort of work for my skin but like I don't know how amazing they are. They just kind of work for me. I'm the type of person who like, I mean this age rewind Maybelline concealer I literally have been using off and on for 13 years at this point, I want to say. It's an old tried and true favorite but I'm just kind of trying to breeze through it because I don't really have time to like be lollyganging. It's like, as we slowly did too long and it's not like I was doing nothing. I was, you know, editing the last Vlogmas. I jumped right from filming one until like 9 p.m. last night, editing it until about 4 p.m. today and now starting another one. Vlogmas has been so fun this year though. I've just really taken a lot of the pressure off of myself and I've just been enjoying it and just so freaking grateful to do this for my job. I'm so grateful for all of you who allow me to do this for my job and support me and leave kind comments and I can go on like a whole tangent but I'm literally like living my dream life because of you and I genuinely would hang out with every single one of you. Every time I have a question about something I'm like, oh, I should ask like someone in the comments will know for sure. Like you guys are just the best and I adore you. I really wanted to be more glam tonight so I just simply don't have the time. Oh, sorry, I already forgot to say what I was using. I used the Fenty Beauty Bronzer. This is in the color Private Island. There she is. It's definitely almost gone, so that's great. And then I used the Tarte Amazonian Clay Blush in the color Sadoos. Love her. It's kind of like a sort of mauve-y color which I thought would be good for winter. It's not technically winter yet, is it? I think that's not until like right before Christmas and then I'm using the Fenty Beauty Kill Watt Freestyle Highlighter Duo. It's an afternoon snack and mauve honey. This is such a pretty shade. I literally love this. So gorgeous, so I'm gonna slap some of that on. I love anything Rihanna, let's be honest. She is the most majestic woman of all time and I love her. I thought about doing like a Q&A moment while I'm getting ready, but I wanna say that for something that I did last year where like basically I just like wrap presents and answer your questions. So that'll be like later on during the vlog next. So you're just gonna have me, we're just gonna chitchat about life. I actually, hold on, what am I doing next? I'm gonna do eye shadow. I'm gonna do a very simple eye shadow look tonight because I'm going to do a bold lip. So I'm gonna do like, color do it, let's do this one. Sure, oh, sorry, I'm bad at this. This is the Anastasia Glam To Go Eye Shadow pressed pigment palette. And it's got all these really pretty, kind of like mauve-y, rosy warm tones. And I really love it. So I'm gonna take this shade, Dawn, and work it in the crease, although I need to set my lid a little bit better one moment. But yeah, I'm just trying to think like, I think just because of how fast-paced this month has been going, and honestly just this entire last six months since we moved here, which by the way, as of the time you're watching this video, we will have lived here for six months. Like, we've already been in this apartment for half a year. I don't understand how this happens. It goes by so freaking fast. Also, this, like kind of just me blabbing about how much stuff in my life bores you. I completely understand, you can skip forward. No offense taken. But in the last six months, I just haven't had any time to slow down really. And I mentioned this in the vlog where I got sick, but this is like not a problem at all. This is just a difference in my life. But like when we were living in Arizona, I was doing something socially like a couple times a month. And now because I have so many more friends that live here, I'm doing stuff like every single week. And so I feel like I'm just burning out a lot faster and like work has been getting busier and just like a lot. So I'm really just spending all of my time trying to like, you know, stay on top of things and make sure I'm like replying to text, but I'm doing a terrible job at it, just being honest. And I know a lot of us are feeling this way. It's obviously not just me like, hello, we're all just going through it and we're all just trying to figure it out. And I don't know those of you who have kids, I don't know how you do it. I really don't. I feel like it's enough just having pets and like senior pets. And it's sort of one thing I wanted to talk about was like a Layla and Moo update. It's been a lot. Like it's just so wild. I talked about this in blogs before, but you know, growing up with Layla, I got her when I was 23, I'm 34 now and gonna be 35 here in like a few couple weeks. I didn't really think when I got a puppy at 23 that I would be 34, like still spending $1,000 every time I take a look at the vet. And I don't want to discourage anyone from like getting animals or anything, but it is just such, such, such, such commitment. And I would do it for her over and over and over again. Heartbeat, that's not even a question. It's just like, ooh, this might be fun. Sorry, I'm thinking it. But it's just been like, you know, she's always sort of had, I would say, fair health. Most of her life. It's just kind of like genetic stuff, remember. And now that she's, you know, getting older, she's just having a harder time with like her mobility. And then also she recently got like an eye infection. She went on antibiotics for that and it's not doing anything. And she had to get like new blood work done and all these different tests. And there's like still the issue of her weight, which has been an issue like her entire life. And there's just like a lot going on. Your girl just has a lot going on. Your girl being like, we love her for it. We absolutely love her to death. And I'll do anything to get her like the care that she needs. But it's just been kind of, it's really hard for me to talk and focus on this at the same time I've noticed. Cause I'm like genuinely trying to rush at the same time as I'm doing this. Anyways, I'm using this NYX brow pencil. This is like the micro one. And then I'm also going to use the Anastasia powder. It's like the brow powder duo in the color taupe. And then I'm also going to use this 24 hour brow setter by Benevolent. Anyway, so yeah, we brought her to the vet like about 10 days ago. We have to bring her back again in a couple of days because her eye hasn't gotten any better. And then Mu has also had some stuff going on. Oh, that's the other thing. Laila also has liver issues. And I've known that for quite a few months now. And that was, and I won't bore you with this too long, but like an issue of hers when she got her teeth pulled a few months ago, the wrong teeth, of course. That's a whole other story for another day. If you missed that, but before she got that surgery she had to get blood work done. And then they noticed that her like liver levels were elevated and they still are. They went back down and she took this like medication but now she has to be on that medication likely forever. And she's gonna have to see like a specialist and all this stuff. So yeah, it's just like a lot. And then Mu blesses heart. He's 15 years old, which is crazy. Drew got him when he was 19 and now he's 34. And so it's just like, it's just crazy how we run an old folks home basically is what I'm getting at. And we love them to death, but it's just like a lot. It's tough. So Mu likely has a form of abdominal cancer. But it has the same, it shows the same signs as like a upper bowel disease or something like that. I'm wording it improperly. Those of you who have cats probably know better and like have gone through it or if those of you are like vets or vet techs or whatever. But basically he is also, he's been on cat chemo like the equivalent of cat chemo for the last almost two years. And then like his stomach issues have kind of gotten worse recently. So he had to go back for more blood work and further paneling and all this different kind of stuff. And now he's gotta see someone else. And it's just like a whole thing, but we love them. We will do anything for them. And they're gonna be, we're gonna give them the best rest of their lives possible. So that's just been like an extra thing that's sort of been weighing on both of us. It's becoming a lot more difficult for both of our animals. Like they've started showing signs of like aging and dementia and all these different things. So for those of you who have seen your pets during this time. Oh my God, is this like a vent session? I'm really not complaining. I'm in a great mood. I love my life. I don't want it to come across as that. Just catching up I guess. Same way I avoid with like a friend. We were like getting right together or going out to get drinks or whatever. Okay, I'm now gonna put on some Stila eyeliner. This is another one that I've used for probably 10 years. This is the Stay All Day Waterproof Liquid Eyeliner. I use this in black. I'm pretty much almost done because all I have to do after this is just put on some lipstick and then like do a setting spray, which I will do. I forgot to put on my brow dill. So I'll do that really quick. There's absolutely no way I'm gonna be able to do my eyeliner while talking to you on camera. So let me regroup, be with you in a sec. You guys, I don't know what's going on but I literally just switched my part to like a side part and my bangs just like did this and I don't even think I'm gonna curl my hair anymore. Like I genuinely think it looks so cute and I like tucked one side. I mean, I could do it like this too, but I mean, kind of cute. I think I'm just gonna keep it. So I'm gonna unplug my curling iron or unless I wanna do like a curled under moment, I might do that like a little, I'm scared I'm gonna ruin it. I don't wanna ruin what's happening. No, I don't wanna mess with it too much. I do just like wanna smooth it out a little bit because I did blow dry my hair earlier but like I've since taken a nap and like all of that. So okay, let's just give it a little bend, just smooth out these kind of rougher pieces. I am not touching the bangs. They look really fricking good. Like it looks kind of good. My only concern is I don't have any hairspray. So I'm like, how am I gonna make this last, like make this stay? Anyways, I was like gonna talk about this when I curled my hair but I have just been thinking a lot about this time of year and how it can be really difficult for a lot of people. And I was literally like just in that position not too long ago. By the way, I'm gonna use this Tower 28 filmy in lip liner. The shade is called filmy in but I was just thinking back about how just a few years ago like literally five, six years, six years ago actually, I was in like probably the worst place I've ever been in my life. Without going like too much into detail, I spent Christmas alone. One of my family members was in rehab. I had just gone through, well, earlier that year, I had just gone through like the most painful heartbreak of my life. I had gone through a breakup. I'm, you know, broken up with my boyfriend of a year and a half and then I'd gotten really quickly involved in like a rebound situation. And then that guy ghosted me like really, really suddenly and out of nowhere after like it was like a, you know, a relationship type of thing. And so that was really traumatic and awful. And there was just like a lot of family stuff going on and it was for sure the worst year of my life. And I remember, this is like really genuinely sad. I remember singing like this cover of the song River by Joni Mitchell. What's coming on? I was genuinely so heartbroken. I can hear it in my voice. And I think I was just like trying to reach out for like connection with anyone. And maybe that was my way of being like, I'm not doing well. And Drew and I like, we're in this sort of awkward like we were, but we weren't. And like he invited me, I went to Christmas Eve with his family, which was so sweet and wonderful. But hold on, I'm going to do it up here because this is just an awkward angle. And I had a friend who came over for Christmas morning like late Christmas Eve into Christmas morning. And, you know, we at least like went on a hike and stuff. But then like the evening went around and I was by myself and I was crying and I was so sad. And I genuinely remember thinking like, how did I get here? Like how did it get to this point? Like I'm so sad. I'm so lonely. I had no money. I was living at my mom's house. I was like about to turn 30 years old or I guess I was turning 29. I had no money. I was living with my mom in her apartment. I was all by myself. I had nothing to my name. I was like in so much debt. I just had like so many things going on but like I guess I don't really talk about a lot. I probably used to on my channels. But I'm just trying to be a little bit more private with that kind of stuff lately. But like all I had to say, I had no hope. Like I felt so low and so awful. And I just remembered thinking like, this is not Christmas. Like this is not how I wanted my life to turn out. Like I feel like just one blow after the other kept happening. Like I just kept getting knocked on my ass. My mental health was in the pits. And like to see where I am now just, you know, five, six years later is truly wonderful and amazing. And it makes me want to cry thinking about it. And I have such a wonderful life that's so fulfilling and I'm so happy in love and I'm so happy in friendship and I'm so happy with myself. And I've just really, really come a long way and I've healed so much over the last few years. So I guess I just wanted to say that if you are in a similar situation and you're just feeling like so lost and you don't really know where your life is going and you don't really feel like the holidays are the holidays this year. And it feels actually a little bit more depressing than anything. I just want you to know that things will get better for you. They will. It's not going to stay like this forever. And I don't know, I just felt like it was on my heart that like maybe somebody needed to hear that. So if you did, that is for you. And you're doing amazing. You're doing amazing and you're doing the best you can with what you've been given. That message is also to younger me when I was going through that a few years ago and to all of you now. Like I am just sending you so much love and things will turn around for you. I promise you that. Okay, let me get dressed really quick and I'll show you what outfit I've got on and then we've got ahead. Drew's gonna actually take me to my friend's house and then we're gonna Uber from her place. So let's do it. Also, sorry for getting like so deep and intense. I just love all of you. And I don't know. Maybe I just felt like trauma dumping a little bit. Okay, we've got, we have a lot to catch up on but essentially I did curl my hair. It started like doing very wonky things. And so I just felt more comfortable with it curled. I put on a red lip. It's Nars Dragon Girl. I have this thrifted dress and this thrifted jacket, very matrix. And then my cowboy boots are actually at Laura's. So we're gonna head in the car, go to her house. I'm gonna put on my cowboy boots. We're gonna hit the town. Let's do it. You need to get speaker. Oh my God, wait. This would be kind of cute. Would that be kind of? Look at the show. Probably. Hello, guys. Made it to the Christmas bar. Like she runs into her high school friends here. Like these bars getting into the, oh my God. That's so intense. The love of my life from 15 years ago. Like that's the vibe that it's giving. So we were in a couple of cocktails. It took us an hour and 15 minutes to get 10 miles. So that's where we're at. But we ordered a couple drinks. She ordered one called, you'll shoot your rye out. The happiest Christmas treat. Ho ho ho and a hee hee hee. Literally look at this bar. How could you be in a bad mood here? Like look at how jolly this is. I love it. Here's my happiest Christmas. You joking? Look at her. I like, I kind of want to turn it to you, but I want to eat it. All right, I'm going to try Laura's. You'll shoot your rye out. This looks so good. We got some pigs in a blanket and some buffalo ranch popcorn. Yes, please. Oh my God. We got a baked brie that has a fig jam in it. And then these little like frostinis on the side. So good. These people right here are doing a shot ski. And I want to watch it. And they're wearing a two person sweater. Bestive, fun place I've maybe ever been. I'm having so much fun. We definitely were saying that this place would improve greatly if there was Christmas karaoke. Just saying. But honestly, if you live in LA or you have Christmas bar and there are reservations available because I think it's reservations only. Definitely recommend coming here. This is so cute. Fun little surprise. Our server goes. Would you, what did he say? Would you be remiss for the, how do you say it? He said, would you be opposed to me sending you guys a shot? And Laura goes, I wouldn't be unopposed. So we got this really cool little glass. And it's like a liqour that's from the Czech Republic. Yeah. Hi. Do we cherish it? Bounce off. Ready? Ready go. Is it good? We sound like all of our teachers. We're in the cars, right? It's me, Landon, Larry, the cable guy comes on. It was like, does it sound like home? I'm like, yeah, it sounds like all my teachers. Home? Granddad, is that you? We literally left it so much and now we're on to the next. Okay, everybody. It's kind of late. I just got home. I had such a fun night tonight. We actually, after the Christmas bar, we ended up going to another place and we played bingo. I won twice, but it was really fun. And that's my night. I am going to melt all of my makeup off and go to bed. And we actually have a really fun night planned for tomorrow. We're doing like another fun festive thing tomorrow. So that's gonna be a great time. Thank you so much for hanging out with me tonight. Look, I've just been catching up with Drew. I'm going to go to bed. I appreciate you being here so, so much. Okay, so this is where I'm at. I will leave you with this. Hopefully you don't have too many night cares. See you tomorrow for vlog number nine. Goodbye.