 The biggest concern in marriage is trying to get the parents approval of a spouse who's from a different race. I mean, everything, all hell break loose if a person goes up to his mom or dad trying to deduce his fiancée or someone that he likes to his parents and they're from a different race. I mean, I've heard of cases where men have or guys go up to their parents and try to tell their mom and dad about the one he likes to get married to is from a different country, not a different race, from a different country. And the parents still disapprove of that. I mean, going up in the West, we get to interact with people from different races, different countries and that's a good thing to bring and to create more interracial marriages and to break the racial boundaries. But yet we still find our friends, sometimes ourselves, not able to get married to maybe a Pakistani because someone is Iraqi, not be able to marry a Lebanese because the guy is Iraqi or the guy is Pakistani. And such issues. I mean, even some parts of the world where I've seen, you can't get married to someone to a girl or a guy who's from a different city and what's even worse, you can't get married to someone from a different tribe. I mean, I thought racism died decades back. Yet here we are again, trying to find out why people around the world still have a negative view about interracial marriage. Joining me live from the Holy City of Karbala once again, Dr. Sayed Ahmad Naqshewan, to dissect this issue of interracial marriage. Sayed, assalamu alaikum. How are you doing? Very well. I mean, we got a lot of comments before we dive into this topic. We got a lot of comments and questions. How did you spend your Christmas? Just very quickly. Well, I'm in the Holy Land of Najaf and then the Holy Land of Karbala now. So, where better to spend than, you know, in the cities of the saints who describe Christ better than most could. So, Alhamdulillah, God has blessed us. Alhamdulillah. Now, Sayed, a lot of people wonder, in Islam is marriage mandatory? Is it recommended obligatory? And who do we blame when the parents pick on stuff that are really minor in a marriage? You're not looking at the religion, not looking at anything else, but maybe looking at the color of their skin and something else. I mean, how do you address that? Well, marriage and the religion of Islam, if you read a lot of the literature regarding marriage, you'll find that it is so highly recommended that it's virtually seen as being obligatory. And in some cases, it becomes obligatory if someone knows that by not being married that they are going to disobey their Lord, that by not being married, they're going to go against the commands of their Lord. They're not going to be able to fulfill their spiritual potential. And so, the Holy Prophet, peace be upon him, his family would, in many cases, in the famous line that we recite in any Muslim wedding when the Imam comes to recite the lines of marriage, of the traditions of the Holy Prophet, peace be upon him, and his family that he'll always stress on is when the Prophet, peace be upon him, and his family said that marriage is from my teachings, from my traditions. And whoever stays away from such a tradition is not from me. So you find, therefore, that many of the scholars say that one of the highest recommended acts that which fulfills half of your religion and gets you closer to the Lord is, of course, marriage. But yes, you're absolutely right when you say that many of the youths today are put off from getting married and for many different reasons. In some cases, their expectations on them financially are incredible. That in some cases, you'll find parents who themselves, when they got married, weren't the wealthiest in the world, are now assuming that the person who comes to propose, for example, for their daughter has to be... Has to be a millionaire. Has to be a millionaire. And while looking out for someone's security, especially your own family is fundamental, that does put off someone who's on the path of starting their career. No one's really going to start off their career on seven figures, for example. But if you could start off your life having that love of God, having the love of the Quran and the teachings of the Prophet, peace be upon him and his family, then definitely that's somewhere to start. So some of the youth are put off because of this. Then what we find now in the demographic of Muslims is that in the last 40 odd years or maybe even more, there are many Muslims who are living in the West. Many came from different boats, who are now all on the same ship. In the past, the Pakistani only knew of Pakistanis. The Iraqi only knew of Iraqis. The Moroccan and the Egyptian only knew of Moroccans and Egyptians. The Lebanese, for example, knew of the Lebanese. But now there is a lot more interaction in our centres, especially with the rise of English lectures. If the lectures were only in Arabic, then only the Arabs will understand and go to that centre. And if the lectures, for example, were only in Farsi, then only the Persians will go towards there. And if the lectures were only in Urdu, then, for example, the Indo-Pac subcontinent. But now when you have the English lectures, you have this mixing. Thanks for saying that. Well, amongst others. But I say predominantly. When you see so many who come towards these lectures, what's wonderful is that to your right, when you're praying in Salah, you'll have someone who, for example, maybe of an Indo-Pac background. To your left, a North African background. In front of you, you may have someone of a European Reaver background. Someone behind you may be of, for example, black American African background. That means that, especially in Sardinia, and that means that what's going to happen is that this mixing, which is taking place, inevitably is going to lead us to going to each other's houses, being in the same schools as one another, and organising programmes in our mosques where there's going to be interaction between yourself and, for example, the sisters of the community. When that happens, some of the brothers may want to marry a sister from a different background altogether. And sadly, we still have sometimes the seeds of prejudice, ignorance, even racism in some of our communities, where fathers, who because they were only raised in an environment where they only knew of their type and used to look at everyone else as the other, rather than the brother or the sister, those fathers, when the son will come home and say that, for example, I've met a mu'mina. I've met a believing sister. Or that girl, when she comes home to her father and says, I've met a mu'mina, a believing brother, and I'm interested in getting to know them for marriage. Sadly, you still have cases where people are rejected simply because of their skin colour, where people are rejected from marriage, not because of the fact that they are people far away from the teachings of God, not because they are people who you cannot have security with your sibling, for example, or your relative for, but rather simply because of the fact that they come from a culture or race that's different to yours. When this happens, there is a need for us to introspectively look at ourselves and ask ourselves, is this what was envisaged when the religion of Islam first was established? Yes. Was the religion of Islam a religion? It came for everybody or came only for the Arabs? We'll find out. And so what you find is that when it comes to our communities, there are youths who are put off marriage because they say that I wanted to marry someone who was a lover of God, a believer in the Qur'an, a follower of the teachings of the Ahl al-Bayt al-Alim San'an. But because I'm from Iraq and they are, for example, from India, because I'm from Africa and they were, for example, from an American revered background, our parents did not let us because they said you will only marry from our own. When that begins to enter the Muslim community, we have to ask ourselves, is jahiliya now returning or not? Remember, jahiliya, which in English is normally translated as the period of ignorance, jahiliya is not just one. It wasn't just jahiliya in the time of the Holy Prophet Muhammad peace be upon his family that the Arabs were in a period of ignorance. In the Qur'an, you have the ayah, wa qarana fi buyutikunna wa la tabarajna tabarajal jahiliya tul ula. Jahiliya tul ula. That means there's a second, a third, a fourth, a fifth. That means there's another jahiliya will come and another and another. We have to be careful that we aren't the people who have sowed the seeds for the return of jahiliya. Sayyidina, you mentioned something before we move on. If a mu'min, a girl goes up to her dad, I'm in a mu'min, you don't see that happening because the family is so conservative, if you will. They're so closed. You don't really see a girl coming up to her dad or mom, you know, I've met a mu'min, let me go talk to him. And now, she's telling him, oh, he's from a different race. I mean, how do we break that? Well, look at the Holy Qur'an. You'll find a prophet like Nabi Shuaib, is the one who goes towards Nabi Musa and says to him, That's a prophet though. But what is the prophet except an exemplar for us? Either we look at these stories, it's just, you know, just tales, or we apply their lessons. The Qur'an noticed doesn't give you bits and pieces of details. It gives you lessons. If you notice in the story of Ashab Al-Kahaf, God makes it clear, seven, eight, if some will ask, is that nine of them, is that six of them, you're not understanding the meaning of this story. It's not about asking how many were in the cave. Likewise, in this story, it's not about saying, well, this is only a prophet of Allah. The most important thing is for a person to say, hold on, here's a prophet of God, his daughter has met Moses. He's taken the proposal. He's highlighting. It's not just the guy who has to bring the proposal home. If the father feels, or if the daughter can have a relationship with her father that's open, then the father comes to Moses and says, I would be honored if you'd marry one of my daughters. So when the Holy Prophet peace be upon him suddenly even tells us about the upbringing of children, first seven years, let them be free, second seven years, discipline them, third seven years, be their friend. In the age of 14 to the age of 21, you'll find that when these bodily changes are occurring, when a person begins to look at their future, what am I going to do? Who do I want to settle with if I find the right person? The parents have to be friends at that time. The parents can't give this impression that you know what, if you want to marry someone, don't even think about it. We're choosing for you. You have no choice whatsoever. No, not at all. And what we're finding today is that many of the parents are trying to come to terms with the evolution of the Muslim community. Only 23 years earlier they would have only met people of their skin color, only met people of their village in some cases. Whereas now when they're meeting other cultures, at the beginning what happens when you come to another culture? There's a bit of an insecurity because you don't know much about the other culture. But as a Muslim, religion overrides. Are they followers of the Quran? If that's going to be the principles by which they look after our son or our daughter, that's enough. So we have to begin to reflect on the Quranic teachings that are telling us that there is no harm having that open discussion with one's siblings, one's children openly and discussing that if you do want to get married to someone, then let us live by the principles of the Prophet, peace be upon him and his family. Now moving on Sayyidina, that was nicely answered. There's something that occurs in different parts of the world. Celebrity. Is it an option Islam for men and women? Can men not get married, not have a relationship with a woman? Celebrity is prohibited in Islam. In Christianity, you'll find that many priests may have adopted the path of celibacy, staying away from marriage. But they decided that one of the best ways in which they could build their relationships with God is by staying away from getting married. Islam looks at this with the term Rahabania. It's a form of asceticism which they have innovated. This is not part of the teachings of the religion. This is not part of the ways in which you get to God. So why make it? Well for some in the Christian world they believe that Jesus did not get married and John the Baptist did not get married. But Jesus and John the Baptist were not around for 70 years on this earth. Christ was around that most to his early 30s. Some Muslims believed in early Islam that by staying away from woman, by staying away from getting married, they'll have a lot more taqwa, a lot more consciousness of God's presence in their life. And this hurt the Holy Prophet, peace be upon him, and his family. Because when some Muslims thought, okay, I'm not going to wear any fragrance because fragrance is a sign that you're a person of this world. And some Muslims believed that I will not eat meat because it's of the luxuries of this world. And some Muslims said that we will not get married because woman will take us away in the same way that Eve took Adam away. Sadly this type of thought affected biblical literature. And so when this type of thought began to affect biblical literature it also began to permeate into the nascent Muslim community. What then occurs is that the Holy Prophet, peace be upon him, makes it clear that if you're going to be extravagant in this world it can only be on your fragrances and your perfumes. It's amazing how many times you may go to the Muslim world and have two extremes. You may have someone who smells unbelievable. Like myself for example. And even yourself on your good days you smell alright as well. Then you have for example those who when you're hugging them those who when you're hugging them you're thinking Ya Allah this is a test of all tests. That Muslim who doesn't use fragrance perfume deodorant even is a form of fragrance. Especially in the summer. Ya Rabb how some people sadly have not understood An nadafatu min al-eemah. Oh yeah. Cleanliness is a part of faith. Especially when you're putting stuff in a juma and then the guy in front of you has socks. The socks well it's unbelievable how many mosques I've been to when you go and do wudu you think that you've not entered a place to do wudu you're actually going through an obstacle course of remaining alive and you hear people spitting loudly and you hear people you know I don't want to go further than that and then when you're always putting your head down in sujood in a mosque cheesy sock smell everywhere and you're thinking Ya Allah can people not have new socks when they come for example new pair of socks when they come to pray so what you have here is the idea that me not putting fragrance on you know there are still people in certain Muslim countries who believe that in the name of al-fahm or in the name of how to become more spiritual for example may not change some of their clothing for example may look dishevelled and on the contrary a Muslim should be someone presentable a role model in the society now we're not saying a person leaves their house and pours the whole bottle of perfume on their head but what we are saying is that cleanliness is a part of faith sorry? a few sprays a few sprays and more than enough so you've got on the one hand that then secondly the eating on meat the Prophet Muhammad would say I'd eat meat but he'd also say don't make your stomachs graveyard for animals thirdly when it came to being married the Prophet Muhammad would make it clear that don't go towards this direction that monasticism or Zuhud Rahbaniya spirituality is going to come by you staying away from marriage some ladies interestingly were also affected by this and the question came to the Imams of Ahlul Bayt where a lady had asked the question that can I stay away from marriage because you know some sisters in the community do go through the stage they may have been hurt once in a marriage or they actually believe that they'll dedicate their life to God so they're going to study for example that's an Islamic seminary wherever in the world let's say in Iraq, Iran, Egypt, Morocco wherever they'll say that's it I'm not getting married I want to dedicate my life to God and the Imams of Ahlul Bayt reply by saying if staying away from marriage gets you closer to God then Fatima al-Zahra alaihi salam would not have got married Allah but Fatima al-Zahra alaihi salam got married and if a person finds that partner so it's celibacy and the idea that I'll stay away from marriage just because one thing goes wrong for example or completely my whole life that's prohibited in Islam al-Baqilani a renowned Islamic theologian the other schools in Islam say is quite interestingly I wonder about Christianity when they tell their men of God to stay away from marriage and God himself had a son and that's an interesting thing the priest says I will not get married I'm not going to have kids now as I said celibacy in Islam no that is prohibited now why does this racial element still exist within Islamic communities because honestly if we take Ahlul Bayt as Romans and the prophet as you just mentioned this shouldn't still exist I mean this should have died centuries ago I wouldn't say racism just exists in the Muslim community I think there's a return of racist elements around the world don't need to mention the countries that are involved but there seems to be extremism on a far right platform in Europe and in other parts of the world in other continents there is extremist right wing racist elements that are growing people who are proud to say that people of other colors are to be frowned upon are to be looked down upon are not worthy of being called human beings and some of these people are occupying prominent positions but let's not hide from the fact you go to Hajj or you go to Amra and you could see racism in the Arabs until today and you think that that was left behind in the 7th century so that racism still exists and it exists really because of there's two ways to look at it and it's very difficult for me to but for the benefit of the doubt some of these aren't racist rather than they haven't got used to the meeting of other cultures the interaction with other heritages you see we're lucky we've traveled you've lived in Canada you've traveled to Europe, you've traveled to the Middle East I've traveled 6 continents in this world God blessed me I feel out of travel on the earth why? because you'll get to have that mind of yours open up there are certain racists who think Islam is a country yeah actually I've heard that there are certain racists who think Islam is a country if you were to ask them to point on the globe where Islam is they'll actually try and look for a country called Islam if you were to ask them to name new countries of the Middle East there are certain racists who have got their statistics wrong their facts wrong the media has lied to them and then there are some who are just blatantly arrogant they believe that they are the chosen people of God and this affects a number of religions Muslims being one of them that when you believe you're the chosen people of God then you believe that your city is the chosen city and that everybody else is lower than you would you believe that even when you look at for example Iraq there were many Iraqis who didn't even know that there was a huge Shia community or population in India if you go for example you look at Lebanon I guarantee you that if you were to ask some people in parts of Lebanon which has some of the followers of Ahlul Bayt and a great heritage if you were to ask them which country in the world for example after Iran has the biggest population of the followers of Ahlul Bayt many for example out there will never have interacted with people from a background let alone there are many who have never met reverts in Iran there are people who believe that those of us who are raised in England or America some of us don't even know how to pray some of us our knowledge is not that strong some can't even believe some of us are religious followers of Ahlul Bayt because narrow-minded or because there's a lack of traveling so when there's racism still exists a major reason is the lack of interaction with the other instead of interacting with others, sitting with others when you're only mixing with the same type of people sometimes that racist element grows now speaking of reverts just to touch on a little bit do you think reverts feel it more than anyone else I think reverts feel it more and I think reverts also have to be careful that the complex of being oppressed all the time doesn't also affect them so it works two ways so you've got reverts out there who someone's son may want to marry a reverts sister for example and the parents are how can I trust this girl, how do I know she's not going to change her mind how do I know where her family is instead of saying that this person how much have they gone through to come towards the path of Ahlul Bayt how much sacrifice, how many friends and family have they lost how much bigotry and prejudice have they been at the receiving end of from their family members who used to know them very well no, how do I not know that they're a spy for example maybe they're spying on you the reverts also at the same time as to realize like I said that this demographic, many of them only recently have interacted and mixed with others from the same school let alone reverts when our own parents have only recently mixed with others who are followers of Ahlul Bayt but from different backgrounds they have to be patient with that there can be that reverts complex which is where oppressed no one looks after us nobody and I don't deny that there have been moments where we have not shown the respect towards those who have sacrificed so much that they deserved but sometimes it wasn't neglect of them rather there was language barriers sometimes our parents English may not have been as good as ours so they would have wanted to interact but sadly that interaction ability was not there for the language so yes the reverts definitely have found it difficult I knew one revert from an African background I think it took him 13 years proposing to different sisters in the community rejection, rejection, rejection rejection because he was black African and he ended up having to marry from his own country because the sisters in the community, their parents in many cases and in some cases even the sisters were looking and thinking well you know what this person different race, different color but majority of the time it was the parents saying we've never had a black person marry in our families Hollywood sometimes has sketches on this which make you laugh, you see some films where a white guy goes to propose for a black girl and the family are just interrogating him and you laugh when you watch it and I think in the Muslim community things are changing but we have to be patient with the change now a lot of people ask this question when it comes to any issue that's out there how does the Quran seek to address interracial marriage I mean does it have any examples within the Islamic literature about this well the Quran firstly there are principle verses which seek to highlight that the only difference between human beings which brings them honor is their consciousness of God's presence in their life if you look in chapter 49 verse 13 of the holy Quran Bismillah ar-Rahman ar-Rahim we created you from male and female and made you the people and tribes that you know we respect you we created you from male and female from different races and from different tribes in order that you get to know one another I can't make this verse any clearer for the Lord of the heavens and the earth so clear we created you from male tribes races so that you get to know one another not so that you find ways of not coming together get to know one another open up to each other learn about each other's heritage share each other's history the human race has forgotten the bonds of brotherhood the bonds of sisterhood sadly when I look Syria Iraq and I see that my bloodshed look at Yemen bloodshed you see parts of the world not bloodshed pedophilia, sexual abuse of children begging us as human beings have to remember that they come from one origin and God wanted to shatter the races in the Arab world by saying that the best amongst you is not the Arab just in case the Arabs are gonna say we are the ones who had the prophet Muhammad peace be upon him and his family and therefore we're better than everybody else no not at all the best amongst you in the eyes of God is the one who always puts God ahead of every other possible effector in any decision that he's gonna make so when you're looking at for example the Quran, God put that verse to make it clear to everybody that taqwa is what differentiates you not skin color for years how many people in America were flogged because they were black how many had to live under harsh conditions because they were black how many had to eat in different parts of a restaurant because they were black how many people who were natives were butchered for years in parts of India and Africa many were shot dead simply because an empire wanted to run through for years in Vietnam people saw oppression for years in Iraq people saw all of this had a racist undertone where we are better than those Nazi Germany massacred millions simply because we are better than them the only thing that differentiates us is our taqwa in the Quran it's interesting that you'll find that the prophets of Allah SWT may marry from their own tribe but a prophet of Allah SWT may also marry from outside Nabi Ibrahim marries Hajab to shatter racism every Muslim when they do the circumambulation of the Ka'bar of Tawaf is honoring God's house but is also honoring a black woman married to the father of the Abrahamic religions he was originally married to Sarah so you say same level marries Hajab shattering this idea that because someone originally is from a slave background they are not equal to me on the contrary the differentiator is taqwa she has the consciousness of God's presence I'll marry her that example led to one of the most important moments in the history of religion when she was ready to see her son sacrificed for God that lady no one looks at as a black woman or a slave girl but rather you look at her the meaning of sacrifice and the love of God so the Quran provided us with verses and also provided us with prophets who would shatter racism as much as they could now did Prophet Muhammad I know we are talking about Prophet Ibrahim but did Prophet Muhammad get married to women of different races yes the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon his family the majority of his marriages of an Arab background but there was one marriage which is with a woman from the Copts of Egypt Mary the Coptic Mary the Coptic when the Prophet Marys her is a message and a lesson for all of us don't say I'm not going to let my son marry someone from Africa when your Prophet himself married someone from Africa Mary the Coptic the Holy Prophet peace be upon his family around that time about 5 years before he passes away 4-5 years before he passes away he writes letters and of the people who he had who used to represent him in sending these letters to dignitaries and you know this brings up the debate can he write couldn't he write, did he write he has scribes who write for him and Hatab bin Abi Balta'a was the one who had carried the letter to the Muqawqas of Egypt you know it's like let's say the high bishop or priest and while the priest doesn't necessarily accept Islam he still reveres the Holy Prophet peace be upon his family and the way that they would rever in those days you'd send a donkey you'd send a mule it's like a person today for example sending a form of transport as a gift that's like the Lamborghini I would say the stallions and the horses were more of Lamborghinis were maybe a bit slower than that maybe you'd send someone a bike or a moped or something and he sends these two two ladies and they are to be presented as ladies who would be gifts to the Holy Prophet peace be upon him and his family they'd work in his house and so on and you found that half of them does a very good job on the way back from Egypt in explaining Islam to them, remember it's not like Egypt air or you know British airways or you know Emirates is going to fly you from Cairo to Medin at the time, no it was a quite a long journey and he explains Islam to Maria and he explains Islam to her sister Sirin and they're enamored and infactuated with the religion and so when they come towards the Holy Prophet peace be upon his family they're not Christians, they've joined the religion now and the Prophet ends up marrying Maria Sirin I think gets married to Hassan bin Thabit or his son, one of the two he'll come back to me so she wasn't a slave the Prophet actually got married to her because we have narration saying she's a concubine, no? correct, you know some try and portray that she was a concubine because she's a gift from a king but the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon his family made it clear that you know what this person has converted to the religion of Islam and is someone who he gets married to and remember when we go back to the Seerah literature I always say there's the Seerah of Anas and others and there's the Seerah of Ahlul Bayt Alaym As-salam and we'll stick to the Seerah of the Ahlul Bayt Alaym As-salam and I wouldn't be surprised, mind you even within our own Seerah literature that there are things which are open to question especially when you look at the principles of the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon his family and other traditions and so on so she originates from the Copts of Egypt who are still a very important community in Egyptian society so unlike Khadija for example or unlike for example Zainab who is his cousin there was narration that she was a Jew? yes, well that you're going now to interreligious marriages and this person has converted to the religion of Islam she is mocked because she was originally Jewish and the Prophet says well you're then originally from the people of Moses and Harun, what's wrong with that? but this is interracial this is someone now from a different background all together in terms of Ray she's from Africa, the Prophet Muhammad from Arabia but he marries and he makes it clear an example for all of us today now a lot of people ask this when did she die exactly did her grave are known or blocked today? she died in the 16th year after Hijrah five years after the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him and his family passed away what remains in her honor is the watering well in Medina you know in Medina when you go for Umrah or Hajj you go to the group of the lovers of Ahl al-Bayt in Medina the Imam Al-Hasan center or Mosque if I'm not mistaken is where many of them gather and you have this area which is the watering well of Mary the Coptic as well you have the area next to it which is where Imam Al-Rada's mother is buried and that was a piece of land the Prophet had designated for her how the government had ordered that it's blocked off because there were many people who would go there to try and honor the memory of one of the wives of Rasulullah well in some countries I suppose there are certain wives who will get a bit more honor than others we'll go to a short break before this escalates we'll be back very shortly in respect of viewers do stay tuned for we'll be back very shortly but after this short break dear viewers thank you for joining us on the Imam Hussain TV network it's an honor to be back in the Holy City of Karbala after a period of two years and we'll be coming to you live every night with the exception of Friday at 9.30 according to Karbala timing to bring to you the new show back to the basics several theological jurisprudential, ethical and numerous other contentions raised by the non-shia and our protagonists in our day-to-day lives we hope inshallah to Allah to be laying out a sustainable framework for how to engage with such things thank you so much and I pray that you can join us all live every night here from the Holy City of Karbala welcome back ladies and gentlemen hope you inshallah enjoyed that report now we are back live from the Holy City of Karbala with a very special guest Dr. Sayyid Ammar Naqshani welcome back before the break Sayyid now we talked about that people have regarding interracial marriages and you cleared it out I mean there's nothing there's absolutely nothing wrong with marrying someone from a different race it all goes back to the ego of the parents and you know that race isn't good enough for us and such things you mentioned or some points you mentioned earlier on now what was it like for people like Bilal during early Islam I mean a black slave of Prophet Muhammad bought him and rescued him I don't think it was easy at all and I think anyone who's finding it difficult you know from for example the revert community to get married only has to look at him as an example you know this is a man who the Arabs who had become Muslim their racism would still exist when he was designated as the man to recite the Adhan because as we know he could not say his sheen he would say seen and so when he'd go up to recite Adhan people would hear him say As-hadu-Allah-Ilah-Allah As-hadu-Anna-Muhammadan Rasulullah and when people would hear this people would say Muhammad's black crow can't even say the sheen properly and then of course the Holy Prophet peace be upon him his family gives a devastating reply that the Bilal is sheen in the eyes of Allah Subhanu wa ta'ala now Bilal is not the only one who found that racist element was existing there's a famous narration Salman who is known as Salman the Persian Imam of Sadaq says don't call him Salman al-Farisi call him Salman al-Muhammadi for he is one of us the Ahl al-Bait but some people still call him Salman al-Farisi has an interaction with Omar ibn al-Khattab where Omar ibn al-Khattab tries to knock him by saying that i'm from this tribe and this person is from this tribe where are you from and you know Salman gives again a wonderful reply which only someone of Salman's level of Iman can reply it makes it clear that I was lost and I found Allah through Muhammad you know that's where I am and the Holy Prophet peace be upon him his family quite wonderfully makes it clear that Salman is from us the Ahl al-Bait but Salman and Bilal amongst others one was Persian one was African the racist Arabs still it existed amongst them this tendency to look down at the non-Arab if you look later for example in the period of the caliphate Arabs and non-Arabs were even differentiated when it come to the treasury and the expenditure economically which was shared amongst the people non-Arabs do start entering large cities like Kufa only 10 years after the prophet Muhammad peace be upon his family has died they are known as Mawali, Persians and so on Yemen is well of an Arab background but now have come towards Kufan society these Persians who have come and others are still frowned upon but start to amalgamate but Bilal as I said really faces a difficult time some mention that he marries Abdulrahman bin Auf's sister whereas others say that no he had to wait until he left Madinah went to live in Syria ends up marrying a lady by the name of Hind and even when it comes to children of Bilal there is some sort of uncertainty did he have children then he have children but after the prophet some will say some of the historians reach a conclusion that there was so much racism amongst the Arabs still there was so much difficulty for him we hear in many stories that the prophet tried to bring men and women together who couldn't get married tried to bring them together but why didn't he try with Bilal couldn't he tell someone to marry Bilal well I think the holy prophet peace be upon his family definitely is one who seeks to match make and recommend by the same time I think you don't want to force a girl into marrying someone who they may not want to or you could send the proposal but it doesn't mean that people will accept there is a famous story of Joabar the black slave originally who the prophet tells to go and propose for the daughter of Ziyad Bin Lobaid or Bin Labid and when Joabar goes for the for the proposal before he goes he tells the holy prophet peace be upon his family they're never going to accept me I'm black I'm not the best looking guy on earth and the prophet says don't worry I'll help you and sometimes we need a few more helpers when it comes to interracial marriages and so what happens is the prophet peace be upon his family tells him go there and say I'm the one who's recommending what better reference do you want in humanity than the holy prophet peace be upon him and his family now when Joabar reaches Ziyad's place how are you doing formalities so he's like what are you doing here and he's like well I've come with a proposal from the holy prophet peace be upon his family he goes well we welcome any proposal who's proposing is that me is that sorry me he's like but you know you're black and we're Arab and you know he's like oh okay I'm sorry then as he's leaving Ziyad he says wait wait you've come on behalf of the prophet peace be upon his family I cannot rudely just make you go like that let me go and meet the prophet so when he meets the prophet peace be upon his family the prophet peace be upon his family tells him what's the issue and he's like well you know we're Arab and he's you know he's black and the prophet says you know the prophet replies to him making clear to him we're all children of Adam what differentiates us is our taqwa we remove this racism and so he comes back and he tells him my daughter accepts then who am I to stop so what you have is the prophet will try and help but there were still people with those racist tendencies you want to force something to happen then have that you know that tension that exists now we seem to see the Ahl-Baita A.S. marrying predominantly from Africa and to reverse just to mention not only from Africa but also reverse now why is that why not I mean Arabs and you're close to them and you know why go to Africa and especially reverse you're very right in saying that you know I would say half of the Imams of Ahl al-Bait half of the 12 Imams marry ladies of African descent if you're looking for example Imam Al-Sadaq, Imam Al-Qadr, Imam Al-Rabbi Imam Al-Jawadi, Imam Al-Hadi and even the mother of the 12 all of them are from an African background there is a number of reasons one of them is to again destroy the racism and Imam Al-Bait is from Madinah he can marry a girl from Madinah someone who is a relative of his from Madinah, someone who is from the line of from the grandchildren of Imam Al-Hassan and so on you know you can marry someone who is a Sayyid and so on but they marry firstly to shatter that racism secondly there is a beauty in now when you're marrying someone from another background there's an alliance to be formed you've taken their daughter they're going to be having your back those alliances, those political alliances are important number three, you share your heritage they have expertise in that field you have expertise in this field they have expertise in field X you have expertise in field Y that was the reasons behind it but these ladies don't get it wrong these ladies weren't just ladies who they just married and gave birth to an Imam if you look at Imam Al-Sadaq's wife Hamid Al-Barbaria a phenomenal personality one of the scholars of the school of Ahl al-Bait, Alayhum Salam you look at for example Imam Al-Hadi's wife by the name of Hodeith or some traditions mention Salil phenomenal personality you look at Imam Al-Qadim's wife a lady you've seen as one of the mystics in the school of Ahl al-Bait a lady of immense spirituality now when I'm going to instill this spirituality and this knowledge in her as an Imam does that has an effect on the whole of that city, the whole of her descendants and so on so anyone out there whose son has come and said I want to marry a girl from a different background, different race and the parents turn around and say well you know what, we don't allow this it's not part of our culture we only marry from our village or we only marry from our city they certainly aren't following the principles of the Imams of Ahl al-Bait, Alayhum Salam this marriage would result the children turning up to be brown or black in some cases light skin as we call them now how did the Arabs react to this I mean they couldn't even stand the Imams being the Imams themselves as Arabs but now they're being off to Africans and their children being mixed Africans now so everything is tending to be a bit more closer how did the Arabs react to this I think some didn't take it lightly at all I think with Imam Al-Jawad, Alayhum Salam Imam Al-Jawad had a tough time because some of his Shia were even questioning why he had a darker complexion than others and it's sad when we reach that stage because the Holy Prophet peace be upon his family says whoever has a seed of this racism will be raised with the Arabs of the Jahili on the day of judgement just a seed and I think when you look at Imam Al-Jawad especially where some would say that a certain part of modern day Sudan is where his mother was from you'll find that even Imam Al-Hadi's wife for example is from the southern side of Egypt and so these Imams as you're leading up to the 12th of Al-Muhammad peace be upon him you'll see that these Imams are definitely of a complexion that is not what's recognizing some of the pictures we see in Karbala or Najaf when I walk in Karbala or Najaf you have some of these pictures which try and display the Imams and some of these things are not recommended in the school of Ahl al-Bayt but we give the benefit of that historical depiction certainly nothing to be believed in and if you look at them I think those pictures are more what a person wants the Imams to look like rather than historically what the Imams would have looked like and it's a shame if someone says well I will not respect the Imams of Ahl al-Bayt if they are of a certain color or of a certain complexion even now when we see pictures and stuff being colored black just to be closer to that community but say that we have also a question my phone almost fell when I was asking the question but we have a question what would you advise someone a Iraqi guy wants to marry a Pakistani girl but their parents are anti this relationship what's your advice now well when the parents are anti the relationship I think first and foremost always maintain good Akhlaq secondly try and look for someone who has a good word or a man of wisdom who can affect your parents there's always maybe a scholar they respect maybe a family member they respect who when they speak to them they'll take their word not with a pinch of salt but with a real seriousness and I think it's fundamental to be a person is patient on that front don't think that your parents don't want your happiness but sometimes they're just not used to mingling with others or they just don't know how to interact with them if you can be patient and you can also at the same time don't forget acts of supplication acts of prayer sometimes we forget these things sometimes you pray to Allah Ya Allah rotate the heart of my parents God is Allah sometimes if your parents heart is not willing to give in don't give up but if both of you are mutaqeen then be patient insha Allah God will open the doors for you what if their parents say no I mean no for sharia reasons they can't then you're in trouble then you're in trouble because if your parents are saying no then you're in trouble if your parents said when they're adamant in saying no this is not happening joking aside I would say is it for sharia reasons or non sharia reasons if it's for non sharia reasons like saying well we don't like him because he has brown shoes on that's not a reason if it's for sharia reasons when they say for example this person is known to be of those who may take certain substances they shouldn't may drink certain things they shouldn't respect your parents wisdom however it's non sharia reasons of course in Islam parents if they don't allow you to get married for non sharia reasons fickle reasons you can disobey them you can disobey your parents I wouldn't say that's the first resort the first resort is having good akhlaq with your parents being patient with your parents and also something just before also something you know sometimes you'll find that there are sisters in the community they might want to get married to a brother and the brother's like you know be patient if you don't give me an answer in a week that's it no no calm down if it's meant to be it'll happen there are some brothers who get too emotional start texting back a hundred times please listen to me please be patient no play it cool if the sister's trying to tell you you know what I want an answer if you don't give me an answer it gets all emotional and you start having a headache don't have a headache turn around and say you know what if it's meant to be it's gonna be because sometimes we make the situations bigger than what they are yeah that's actually true there are many guys out there but they're not real men masculinity and chivalry has very much disappeared they get to know someone and you know ladies also know how to play with the emotion of the man oh yeah and so what happens is that the lady might turn around to him and say you know what if your parents aren't giving me an answer that's it don't contact me again okay if it's not meant to be it's not meant to be what's this reverse psychology what's going on here I thought he's gonna get unhappy and text me a million times I won't answer him for until eight weeks later no you don't need to go through that stage sit back have trust in Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala it's sad when your parents reject someone because they don't like the look of him they don't like the skin color and you can disobey I want to come back to that disobey in what I mean have to be specific because now you can have girls running around with guys and guys running around with girls because I'm not saying you can disobey I mean as I said we're not talking about relationships where oh I just want to go out with someone you want to marry someone they're a follower of Ahlulbayt you go to your parents he goes to his parents when you talk the parents can talk if the parents haven't even started talking and your parents are adamant we had mentioned about ten minutes earlier be patient no need to do anything drastic you be patient, you wait for the right person a scholar of the community someone of wisdom to go and speak to the parents if after all of this there are some cases which have taken two and a half, three, four years I remember one case where the father of the girl said if Imam Mehdi came and told me you know, Iraqis if they lose their fuse even if the Prophet if Imam Mehdi if someone comes and tells me right now that I will not listen that person, be patient with them calm down so I'm not saying that's a person oh just because my dad doesn't want this I'm going to run away and elope and whatever no, we're saying that technically in Islamic law the reason is a religious reason it cannot be a reason which is a fickle non-shariah technically I believe in Surat Al-Israa or Surat Al-Kaf one of them, it says lower the wings lower the wings of mercy where does this come into play well your parents, as they get older you'll find sometimes there might be a bit of impatience on certain things so I think it's vital that a person lowers their wings of mercy and not start saying words like I don't want to chat to you anymore don't be rude towards them as well Sayidina, what advice the converts who can't get married to born Muslim woman Muslim born woman what's your advice to them as we mentioned earlier they can't get through the parents the egos too high it's a testing time, it really is but I think also if we're going to be realistic on certain issues if a father in law from now is telling you I don't respect you should get the hint sometimes as well some may persevere out of love for the daughter others should get a hint that if this man hasn't respected my sacrifices or they haven't respected my knowledge then that should be the hint that this person may never ever respect me I'm not going to say that it didn't change there are many who married reverts and years later that change occurred for both sides sometimes you marry a revert and her parents are the problem say we don't want you so from both sides things do change later on but also sometimes a person should get the hint that some families may never change we also have traditions that say don't marry the zinj and the curds now the zinj if you want to translate it it would be the black the traditions zinj there are traditions that mention even the traditions can be seen even al-kaafi there's a narration there's a dua in relation to the people of the zinj and so on zinj if you look at part of East Africa called zinjabar or zanzibar zinj is not to be translated as some translated the black that part were a group of people who were intoxicated in idol worship and in Islam you cannot marry those who worship idols so you're not saying do not marry the black as some have wrongly thought of the word zinj rather that's related to for example those people who were indulging in that part of East Africa in zanzibar were indulging in idol worship or sometimes if it's mentioning other races those races may have been involved in black magic in zinj those people naturally you don't want to get married to if you're going to propose for someone and she's like my hobby is to talk to zinj you're already going to look at her at certain times have I woken up next to a zinj let alone if she's interacting with zinj and I think those traditions sometimes are thrown out to say that the shi'a are racist their imams say don't marry from the zinj on the contrary this is about a particular group of people because of their behaviors and their ideologies now aslamically speaking what would you place as a criteria for marriage a foundation for marriage looks looks no only joking in terms of the criteria looks is definitely well okay I suppose alright 99% looks and then we'll find space for achlak and for taqwa somewhere else as well naturally the looks are important I know sometimes people in my field will say someone beautiful saying that beauties in the eye of the beholder beauty fades people grow typical stuff and I think while these things are fundamental to think about to be attracted to the person you're with well if that person you're attracted to has no achlak then you can't wait to run away and so I think achlak is fundamental you know the moral principles is the foundation of this religion when the holy prophet peace be upon him and his family said li'u'tamim a makalam al achlak gaya bin sent with one mission with the usage of the word inna ma highlighting the soul mission is what the perfection of that which has come before me and that is the perfection of the message of sublime morals a community with achlak is alive when the achlak goes the community dies and in marriage one most fundamental things is the humility the forbearance the dignity the patience the respect and that is a fundamental criteria and then that in itself should bring about a religious person notice I didn't necessarily put religion achlak ahead of achlak because there are those who claim to have achlak but maybe the type of person judgmental always trying to make rumors about someone's life hating on people cannot take their success or their fame yet their scene has been religious achlak definitely and that should bring about the criteria of achlak all as a package now earlier Sayyidina you mentioned that one of the imams of al-bayta alayhim which we're remembering tonight imam al-askari alayh also married from an african descent now can you talk about that his mother his mother hudayth and if you were to look for example at his wife narjis as some will call her his mother came from the south of Egypt the nobans there is a tradition of the holy prophet peace be upon his family if you don't have any friends then take a friend from the nobans the south of Egypt and this lady was a colossal personality really was so his mother is from the south of Egypt and his wife from byzantine african and that region now imam al-hadih alayh was approving this idea of interracial marriage I mean this also brought confusion and conflict within the arab as well because by that time imam al-sadaq had married you know imam al-sadaq had married from north africa and imam al-kawam and imam al-radaq and imam al-jawad all of them had married from north africa so by that time it was a bit easy on imam al-hadih alayh but yeah at that time there were Arabs except from their village and the imams were slowly trying to destroy this by saying that there are women not of your village women who are not granddaughters of Rasulullah but are wonderful personalities yeah how significant was hudayth as you mentioned earlier hudayth in the protection of imam al-mehdi hudayth plays a fundamental role the mother of imam al-askari imam al-hadih in protecting imam al-mehdi in the first five years of his life you know in shia he thought we are of the belief that imam al-mehdi went into the minor occultation at the age of five the question arises if the abbasids were surrounding the house of imam al-askari for the first five years imam al-mehdi hasn't gone into minor occultation how come they didn't spot the kid that's because imam al-askari sent the baby imam al-hadih the young child imam al-hadih to go and live with his grandmother in medina and some narrations would mention if you wanted to see him of the followers of Ahlulbayt you could see the young child in Mecca during the period of Hajj many of the followers of Ahlulbayt do not know that imam al-mehdi for the first few years of his life did not grow up in Samara, he grew up in medina he grows up in Samara and they are going to kill him because he hasn't gone into ghayb yet he goes into ghayb at the age of five the age of five before the age of five the question arises he can't be living in Samara because they would have killed him so where is he living with his grandmother Hudaid so the first role of Hudaid mother of imam al-askari, wife of imam al-hadih African lady is that she protects the imam in the most dangerous circumstances the second role she is the one who executes the will of imam al-askari normally, let's say you get your son to execute your will you can't do it in this case you're not going to write Muhammad al-mehdi by the way guys have a look, here's his name like imam al-sadaq they said that they'll kill whoever he's written as his inheritor and he put five names down the person who's meant to kill the person his name's there Mansour the Khalifa's name Hamidah the wife and so on likewise, imam al-askari puts that Hudaid his mom is the one who executes as well so she plays a fundamental role in the protection of imam al-mehdi ajalallah now Sayyidna we're moving on to the questions we're receiving on Facebook and on the messages as well now Ghulam Abbas is asking the first way to guide someone who is about to leave Islam who is leaving Islam well entertain all their questions but let the person answering the questions be someone of knowledge and not your uncle who thinks he's knowledgeable we always have a member of our family who thinks he's the most knowledgeable and he's giving just nonsense in his answers and I think it's vital that someone's about to leave Islam there's no harm, you don't want to choose Islam as your religion it's completely up to you but at least sit with the person the people of knowledge and wisdom who you should give a try in allowing them to explain those things you may have certain differences or misconceptions on make sure that when someone is uncertain about the principles of Islam don't say to them you can't question, they can question they can be skeptics because sometimes skepticism leads to certainty one day I'd prefer someone who asks and asks rather than someone who just blindly follows the religion because of their mom and dad in the Quran many times the holy prophet peace be upon his family you hear the ayah begins many times people would be asking the prophet peace be upon his family questions tell us about the spirit tell us about the qarnayn tell us about the day of judgment tell us about the moon tell us why would the Quran begin many ayahs yes aloonaka to show that the prophet Muhammad if his religion peace be upon his family of God it should be open to people's questions if you follow a religion or a sect that tells you don't ask questions then you should begin to question the structure of that sect or religion that you follow now Nancy from the UST saying I'm trying to get married to someone but my parents are not allowing me to because he has tattoos all over his body and what's your advice to my parents should we show them your tattoos? most of the coolest guys have got tattoos and most of the most judgmental people sit in the front lines of mosques and churches so I wouldn't necessarily look at a person's tats and say that that person wants to worry about I'd rather look at some of those who sit in the mosques because some of those can be the most judgmental I'd always be wary of the holier than thou yeah killed her right there now there's also regarding the lecture you gave the say the non-sayed lecture that you gave they're saying how will this break is this considered as racial boundaries as well when a non-sayed cannot marry a sayed woman an issue in India and Pakistan no one else no one else it's never been an issue for our scholars never been an issue for our imams never been an issue for our prophets and there are those people out there who say that unless this happens how are we going to preserve the legacy of the prophet peace be upon his family and the heritage don't worry God will do that for you for the heritage and he'll preserve when he said there will be an abundance who will continue to grow look for the taqwa of the person that should be more than enough of a criteria and hopefully you know such beliefs which are not part of the school of Ahlul Bayt hopefully there will be a day where people are able to learn and understand them but then again you could repeat this a million times the one out there who can't write his name in Arabic and they'll tell you what all of the traditions mean that's funny I'll say thank you very much for joining us tonight thank you, pleasure it was a very nice topic as we were getting many comments saying that the answers were fulfilled thank you very much for joining us tonight hopefully we can have you in the near future once again thank you thank you very much for joining us tonight hopefully we can join hands and hands because we do live in a multicultural society where everyone the Iraqis, the Lebanese, everyone is living close let's break this racial boundaries and follow in the real footsteps of the Ahlul Bayt thank you very much once again peace be upon you