 recipe number SCP-5250 ease of preparation save formerly Ketter special cooking procedures growing up in rural Michigan nothing blocked out the cold like a big bowl of your mama's special SCP-5250 now you know some people would say there are a thousand and one ways to make SCP-5250 but they'd be worse off than the deer trapped beneath the ice you sigh as you've forgotten how to cook it it's been so long thankfully you've got the recipe right here how convenient one lake in rural Michigan one five meter tall security fence two armed guards for freshness make sure to switch these out frequently and a dash of sound dampening equipment how did you forget it's a pretty simple recipe all in all now you recall there's just a couple of things to avoid when making this you are never ever to step on the ice no matter what that silly deer is doing don't try and help him he'll be fine if you're not sharing a recipe don't share anything that crazy old deer will hear you no writing unless it's a recipe if he can't read the document you know he can't get out only use the second person no first person no passive voice no third person description to cook a splendid dish like SCP-5250 you first take the lake by the cabin as a base add in an unceasing appetite the lake's edges open and up like the gaping jaws of a deep sea fish crack open two sheets of ice by accidental it tossing a spoon on to it remember not stare deep deep down into its depths because what is in there is not human no matter how much it may cry you are not to look down there you are not to feed it with what tapestry of yourself you have weaved in your mind apply three pints of a taste that appears similar to what you used to feel when you swallowed five chili peppers whole the fire within almost calls reaches out to you the heat and warmth make you feel more comfortable you will need heavy amounts of seasoning with its umami flavor it's not as if it can understand taste eating or anything of remotely related to it it is safe whatever it is it is most certainly not a lake you frown being one would have been beneficial you think as the water would help with the sheer amount of spice you add in which even the most resilient chef would scoff at what it did with who it took is still unknown to you but the dish is still missing something you think it'd be hard for you to think of exactly what seen as you're quite poor in the culinary department adding the deer for a bit of a zesty kick taste it just to ensure you've added enough salt the taste is a familiar one it reminds you of the woods behind your house where you used to go and creep amongst the bushes in the trees and pretend that you were a hunter on the prowl it is strange being on the other side of that now to be the one breathing silently eyes in the back of your head silly deer you think so concerned about the exact location of whoever talks about it toss a cp50 250 with two salad forks then mix with a ladle to disorient the deer pouring in the liquid now into a large bowl you laugh as its lame leg trails behind it like a shriveled corpse it's not as if it could follow you or at least it couldn't yesterday you think today it is fine but it will not be the day after then the cycle repeats or are you just too stupid to actually recognize it solely being injured or not but you ignore the deer the mere thought of it or talking about it in any way but this is purely hazardous because it will find you then like a tempest whipped up in a frothy sea it will not let go of you as you've cycled down its gyre whisk gently at first then quickly to prevent the liquid and these thoughts from settling see if the liquid within the bowl will connect in a paper thin strand like melted cheese if not then continue to whisk as the lake and deer are definitely connected but why can't you simply do it on your first time wash your hands then continue preheat your oven and take out your colander ignore the lake's calls and let them drain through the colander's holes ignore the fact that anything that falls down into its depths is immediately taken someplace beyond ignore it all the bubbling stream is all you should focus on with its soft gentle calls repelling that of the siren song SCP 5250 wasn't thought of by you not like you could you're always in the mind that your grandma made it as a secret family recipe even if you don't have one nor are you always the same you however you find SCP 5250 pairs well with the same cabin from the lake you always think of and cheese the charcuterie board is made of the same wood that the cabin built in 1999 was it was owned by two men a mr. Josephus drudgery and a mr. Neil Williams both of them are deceased having died of natural causes in 2000 a shame you tell yourself as you remove the dish from the oven with an oven mitt plate the dish well ensuring that all the elements are equally presented in a way that is mysterious familiar and brand new all at once it's a difficult task are you sure you're even ready for it after all of that you're done cooking up a likely amazing stew of SCP 5250 the aromatic delectable aura the dish you may remind you somewhat of home of you even but ignore that as well the smell tickling your nostrils must not be given mind you've done better than you thought you could you're aware that it took testing for the cabin the deer and this beautifully plated bowl of SCP 5250 to be reclassified as safe after you discovered the appropriate way to talk about them which took you too long to find you incompetent wreck below you've decided to attach some relevant documentation you know to add a little more spice to the recipe and ensure that future cooks in training can serve up a dish just as decadent and spectacular as yours should be one that the lake and the deer are both allergic to they may as well be illiterate they hardly can understand what a good recipe is a danda you have done some tests with SCP 5250 adjusting ingredients here and there and seeing what would happen if you tasted what came out of it below you can find the results future chefs the following table is separated into three sections actions helpful ingredients and result action stepping into the lake helpful ingredient snowshoes to help out out his way result you saw him slipping under the ice despite this you could still see their heat signature for a little bit action getting the computer to write about the deer then reading what is there helpful ingredients your trusty keyboard result the deer didn't notice how delightful action looking at the deer helpful ingredient a pair of binoculars result the deer want you to keep on coming action attempting to kill the deer helpful ingredients some fire a gunpowder and two 45 caliber bullets with earthy undertones result a disappointing presentation as the deer was completely fine action preparing a nice beef jambalaya helpful ingredients a pinch of salt some vision blocking goggles thermal imaging systems and infrared sensors result the lake didn't quite like that you weren't supposed to see what lies beneath action waiting helpful ingredients a sprinkling of nothing result the wind blows the lake is hungry in the cabin when you and the others first came you found a journal with some entries written by mr. drudgery in the cabin there was not much else except for a gun found near the door you decide to attach the journals below with approval from your site director it is not as if there is much else you can do you are stuck in the snow that rages outside the deer seemed interested into him him being one of the gods outside start your stove set it to simmer january 20th 1999 i enjoy that what i can see right now is exactly what i have pictured in my mind the fire is crackling neil is snoring his ass off and i'm writing this we'll finish work on the cabin tomorrow is odd work but neil has been able to offer up some minor reassurances he was talking to fur traders a ways back managed to procure us cured meets the last almost two months so he shall not run low on supplies i admit i had some choice words for him when i found out what he traded for it but i suppose it doesn't matter now it's not as if i'd need the damn thing now that we plan to live up here you revise your recipes awaiting orders the snow is picking up there's nothing you really can do but wait cooking is the only escape really but you're thankful the caverns got quite the apparatus but you're a bit full aren't you haven't eaten so much of that scp 52 50 it's a really filling and the sort of flavor you'd only get by accidentally biting down on your own tongue it's a strange flavor certainly but nothing too strange perhaps a bit familiar really you sit and think think about deer their webs of antlers their majestic look they seem quite trustworthy don't they a buck pride and noble ruler of the woods would not hesitate to help you out so why did you leave the one out on the ice you quickly shake your head the recipe told you so junior researcher you open your computer staring at a smiling photo of yourself you close it must conserve your battery garnish with bits and pieces of thought january 27th 1999 neil has developed a taste for fish he's been spending his time ice fishing in the small pond out back he spent an awful lot of time back there after he said a bear eating our supplies an unfortunate start to our new life that's quite okay i asked him to stay close to me in bed tonight he agreed though mentioned he'd been getting splinters granted what we have isn't much of a bed but i suppose that it have to do he talked about what he caught it wasn't a lot just a boot a really old one i'm surprised that there's been up here but i guess the stream can bring anything i'll worry about him sometimes probably too much it's hard not to though he's a bit too trusting the snow picks up even further the winds howling outside your walls you look at the bookshelf of the cabin empty you open your computer nearly dead you don't recognize the person on your screensaver nor do you remember your password you shrug that's all right it's not like you'd have a connection up here add in two teaspoons of sugar february 1st 1999 we're running though on food neil went out to the woods yesterday came back this morning i never struck him as much of a mountain man but i can't deny the grizzled look was a bit attractive he said he managed to shoot a deer outside our cabin last night but he couldn't go out onto the ice to get it that it was too risky which of course i believed he then told me he'd kill it tomorrow only i'm a bit of a light sleeper i heard no gunshots yesterday neil's never been much of a liar was the first to defend me and actually wanted us to come up here when the town got angry he's never lied to me before i'm worried about him there's a storm brewing and he seems to only want to keep getting food the guards outside are gone you're not quite sure where they went but you think they may have left before the wind started to pick up jokes on them you've got food you've got the recipe book you found and you've got warm february 14th 1999 the deer's not dead the storm has picked up lately neil isn't himself still trying to fish he's not doing it as much which i suppose is a bit better than how often he was doing it i tapped him a couple of times last week it took him a bit to come to perhaps some of the herbs are hallucinogenic or something else who knows i asked him to stay close in bed again tonight he just looked at me and told me i was thinking about what he had said or something like that then turned around i don't think he realized what it was today he didn't even say anything besides that you feel the deer it comes closer and you want to go closer to it you can reason with the deer some it's a lot like you isn't it wounded worried just trying to survive out there on the ice you're quite surprised that things managed to survive this long it's a big buck though must be hardy he'd make for some good venison stew if you managed to kill the thing perhaps you try later let's sit for 30 minutes february 25th 1999 neil's been lying to me i would well leave him but the storms outside still i suppose the storm's a bit of an excuse i don't really want to i'm still doing what we used to going through the motions but i found the meats we traded for hidden under the floorboards and neil keeps telling me that i wonder how he found them even though i did that not him i don't sleep so well he doesn't even sleep with me anymore and the snow is starting to break into the cabin it's too cold he hasn't eaten in days either and i'm afraid he's gonna starve i hear hooves sometimes outside my window when i turn there's nothing there you shot it the ground rumbled and the deer flailed and went under the ice what an awful coincidence you lost your food and an earthquake you sigh whatever the lake is it's hungry it doesn't eat normally you know as much that's why you're writing like this in the first place does it even know how people normally eat it's only tipped off when you talk about it without using you so this starves it somewhat but it knows you're here add two cups of you i believe he is dead i don't know when i'm writing this i don't know what i'm doing here i don't at all the deer isn't dead it's completely fine i saw him step onto the pond to kill it and it he well fell in just like that and the deer did too and then the deer came back up it was wounded and then it was fine and the deer sounded fine and he didn't come back up and i'm he was a lion bastard but he was my lion bastard you walked over to the lake today the deer had returned in the small hole perfect for one to ice fish in you look down and you almost want to jump in but you don't you feel like it's drawing you it's calling you as if it's a part of you you've lost how awful awful it is you and the lake must be without each other how awful it is you and the deer must be without each other how great it would be to go walk over and join the deer however you are cold it would be so warm to kill the deer and steal its pelt but it doesn't have a pelt it's not quite itself just like you aren't yourself as if you were staring at it through a dirty mirror as if you were being reflected within a dirty mirror stirring a pinch of self-doubt the traders have been coming by every three days or so to give me food i'd be dead without them guess they took pity on me but they've gone now haven't come by in a week or so it's hard to tell because it's so dark outside i have to block out the windows because of all the snow and the holes that something punched through looks like a gun but i don't know i hear a knock at the door maybe it's them it was not them it was a deer the deer sounded like a man the deer sounded like them i heard it say help me i am stuck there were two more holes in the ice the pond is bigger i saw the deer enter their mouths then it left then they went into the deer's mouth and both went under the ice what do i do what do you do clip-clop clip-clop their noises outside your cabin then nothing then a phone rings but the phone is outside it's a godstone they're back how great for you but the god doesn't answer nothing does and then you notice the ringing comes and goes with the clip-clop cooked for 40 seconds on high heat you've been waiting silent for three days now you can only tell the passage of time via the birds crows and owls at night spares at morning the tapping is there you hope neil is there wait you hear a knock maybe it is neil you recognize there are no more journal entries disappointing because perhaps you know what the deer is however your thermal imagery has shown that the deer leads under the ice its hoof connects to a thin thin strand which leads to a large familiar mass waiting patiently underwater it rains it clips it clots it cries out to be heard for it is hungry your computer manages to eke out a single bar connection from the car which is running on its last legs you can hear something stabbing it running upon its hood destroying it down to its last metal bits before a loud splash can be heard then you lose your connection but it was enough time to send the document through at least you can remember at least that part of you but you are stuck the snow is barren down on your cabin you write this for your future chefs there is a knock at the door you have your gun ready locked and loaded to file maybe you are being rescued but you're hungry so so hungry and you want to cook up another bowl of scp fit to 250 a nice creamy warm and steaming bowl of scp fit to 250 stew the lake feels like that like one big part of it so maybe deep down you hope it is the deer maybe it is you at the door maybe you open it and voila your dish is finished