 Good morning, John. Four years ago today, I was in the hospital, very tired and a little anxious and very happy to have a healthy baby boy and a healthy wife who was now a mom. While I have pictures and videos and even some audio files of that time, they don't tell a whole story that you can find in another way. In some ways, a more true story and in some ways, a more personal story. Definitely creepy, it's a little mind blowing, but I can go back in time in my Google search history and see what I Googled on that day. And I Googled a lot. Some of it I'm proud of. I watched a lot of YouTube videos about how to swaddle a newborn baby. I also Googled the etymology of swaddle because that's a cute word. Some of the things are a little embarrassing, but I get it. Like, for example, Oren was like 90%ile in body weight when he was born, but like 50th in head circumference and that made me super worried. No one told me to be worried about this. I was worried nonetheless. So I Googled a ton about this. Turns out within like three days his head size was normal. It was just that his head was really squished because he had gone, been bird of the... I think there's some learning I could do from that. Like the things that I am most worried about when they are most new and I have the least data are often the things least worth worrying about. And then there are some things that I'm like, oh, I have no idea why I Googled gay culture otter. Cause apparently I needed to know about that. Like right then when my son was less than a day old. Guess the minutes go by and you get bored. Like everybody else is sleeping and you're wondering about things. But there's also a ton of stuff that I do not really know how to feel about. Because the context here, of course, is that my son was born in the days leading up to the 2016 election. A thing I was very worried about. And so there's lots of stuff about Donald Trump. There's also stuff about Huma Abedin's laptop. Do you remember this? Cause like I don't. There was something about Hillary Clinton's assistance laptop and it felt like a very big story. But as with Oran's head size, it was something that we had very little data on. So the story really wasn't the thing. It was our anxiety about it. And that turned out to be a legitimate thing to be worried about. Just worried about the worry. Like with this anxiety about unproven, unknown levels of maybe corruption. Would that lead people to make faulty judgments that we would then have to live with for four years or for ever? I want my searches from that day to have all been the cute ones or the useful ones. Rest milk storage guidelines. Sample birth announcements. Great. How do I know when my baby is done pooping? Because I'm pretty sure that I thought he was done pooping and I took his diaper off and he wasn't done pooping. And then there's just this search. One word, Oran. Catherine's granddad's name. We had not yet named him that. And so I was searching baby names. And I guess get out me car vine is also fine. But I don't want to have been thinking about Donald Trump on that day, but I was. And maybe I shouldn't have been but maybe I should have been. I didn't know how to be a perfect dad when I'd been doing it for a day. I don't even know how to be a good human and I've been doing it for 40 years. I don't always know how to engage with a world that has changed so much over the last four years of my child's life. I do know that it's better for having him in it. And I think it's better for having my worry in it. Worry for his health and happiness. Worry for the health and happiness of the rest of us too. I think I looked up these Google searches because I don't really know how to handle this moment. For me, this is gonna be a rough weekend. It might be a rough few weeks, but also I know that none of this is going away. I'm very worried about this election, but it's not going to be the end of the pandemic. It's not going to be the end of injustice and inequality. It's not going to be the end of conspiracy theory. It's not going to be the end of hyper-partisanship. And it's not going to be the end of the fear and the anxiety and the anger that a lot of people experience, whether justified or not. But at least let's all promise to keep worrying for each other and also occasionally Googling the free Chewbacca divine. John, I'll see you on Tuesday. Tuesday.